Energy Crue
Welcome to 'Energy Crüe', the podcast that dives deep into the heart of industry innovation, entrepreneurship, and personal growth. I'm your host, JP Warren, and each episode, we embark on a journey to uncover the passions and motivations that fuel industry leaders. We're not just talking business here; we're exploring the personal drives, the triumphs, and the challenges that shape today's pioneers. Alongside these inspiring conversations, I'll be sharing my own story - the battles with imposter syndrome, the pivotal mindset shifts, and the lessons learned throughout my entrepreneurial voyage. As a certified coach, my goal is to empower you, our listeners, to break free from the barriers holding you back. Join me as we navigate both the professional and personal landscapes, learning and growing together with 'Energy Crüe'
Energy Crue
Reducing Your Anxiety and Let Go of Control
Have you ever felt the weight of the world on your shoulders, trying to micromanage everything in sight? My journey as an entrepreneur has been a masterclass in the futility of such endeavors. Join me in a heart-to-heart discussion where I pull back the curtain on the stress and anxiety of clinging to control, sharing anecdotes that highlight the importance of recognizing our true sphere of influence. It's a candid exploration of the daily struggles we face and an invitation to embrace a mindset focused on the actions and perceptions we can actually steer.
This episode isn't just about sharing struggles; it's a roadmap to finding peace amidst chaos. We'll dissect our innate desire to control as a pursuit of safety and predictability, and how letting go can actually lead to a more empowered existence. Learn to harness the power of perception to paint your challenges in a new light, and discover a sense of trust in the process of life that can transform anxiety into action. I'll even walk you through a personal experiment designed to shift focus to what you can control, setting the stage for a transformative approach to life's uncertainties. Join me, and let's navigate this journey together, one mindful step at a time.
in and welcome to a new Energy Crew podcast. I'm your host, jp Warren. I wanna thank everyone out there for tuning in Today. We are recording this on a Saturday after a busy, busy week in Houston. We had a frack conference in Houston and then we had the February a meetup of Exec Crew, which is our mastermind development program. On Wednesday, then we had Nate and that was just nonstop. Then it was daddy daughter dance and then we wrapped it up this morning with a little basketball game watching them win and I have my daughter score the goals. I'm very proud about that and I think today what we're gonna be talking about is control, just the concept of control and the false reality on control and what it does in our lives. But before we begin, I wanna say that this podcast is brought to you by Exec Crew. Exec Crew is a mastermind group. It is an executive development program that we've launched and currently our first group is full and we are looking forward to launching our second group. It's gonna be limited membership and we're gonna be introducing a new way for more people to get involved on a regular basis. So if you're interested in learning about a mastermind development program that's looking out for you looking how to support you and elevate you, to get out of your traditional ways to elevate your networks, knowledge in yourself, head over to info at connectioncrewcom to find out more information.
Speaker 1:And also Crew Club. Crew Club is our operator, producer, focus, network and events. These are invitational, only these. We bring in people together for some genuine connections, some upstream industry insight as well, given back to the community at the charity of choice. We got a lot of great topics go over this season and we're excited about where that's going. If you're looking to get involved in that or just to learn what's going around the table, we have a newsletter called Crew Club behind the draw works and you can check that out. You find that through our, I guess, just find out where to find out where to find that. Anyway, it's our newsletter kind of talks about what we talked about around the table at our Crew Club event. So let's get into our topic today.
Speaker 1:And when I started kind of doing these solo episodes and solo podcasts, I try to structure and I try to follow a structure. I think, though that adds to stress me. I try to control what I talk about and when I do that I just tack on more stress and anxiety. So in reality, what I do for these shows, I kind of have a thought, I have a goal and really kind of an outcome of what I want to communicate out there to the listeners out there and I try to just kind of stay in those frames and if we go on a tangent, we go on a tangent trying to be too hard on myself about that.
Speaker 1:So again, this is control. I mean, this is kind of a topic that's been brought up a lot recently in my life, whether it's through conversations with other founders and executives at exec crew, whether it's dealing with my own life, dealing with people around me in my own life, or outcomes in my own life. What can I control? Or why is this person getting to me? Why am I allowing myself to be so upset and so agitated by something that's kind of outside my control? And pretty much the goal of this, the premise of this is kind of how much are we actually trying to control? How much energy and effort are we actually trying to control, and how much does that get turned into anxiety and kind of the feeling that we don't have control? It's like the more we try to have that control, the more. We kind of let it loose through our fingers and that brings so much anxiety to not just entrepreneurs, founders, just kind of everyone and all that walks of life. And I think the end goal of this is kind of it's awareness. It's awareness and understanding and also giving yourself a little bit of grace and kind of reframing your thoughts, because again, we're gonna get into those. That's one of two things that you, that's one of only two things that you can control. So let's dive into this, all right. Let's dive into this kind of a little bit more, all right. So I guess, talking about control, I mean I'm guilty of this.
Speaker 1:Starting my entrepreneurial career, it's, you know, you have this destination, this end goal in mind and you have, whether it's a single event that you want to kind of go off without a hitch, or it's something that, where you want to be, this destination anxiety that pops up If only I had this, I'd be happy, if only had this, I'd be satisfied and content and through that it's where you try to control every aspect of your journey, every aspect, every event, every single transaction that occurs. However, that's just not the reality. I have found myself so stressed off, stressed, stressed off, stressed out about. You know who comes. So Crew Club is.
Speaker 1:You know we host networking events, you know, and a lot of times people's schedules change and you know they can't make the events or, like you stress so much, I'm trying to control other people's actions. I'm trying to control people coming to this event. I'm trying to control if this person that I sent an email to will come to the event, and to me that's just kind of I've realized I'm shifting my perception. That's the wrong way to go about it. So, rather than deal with this anxiety of you know, stressing me out, of keeping me up at night on who's coming to the events, on how it's going to turn out, how this is going to go, it's one of those things where I start kind of getting wrapped up in this world, this mental struggle of what I can control and the outcome and all that, and it just kind of spins me deeper and deeper. This is tailspin, so you have to take a step back and pause and really think what can I control in this situation? I can't control people showing up, I can't control the conversation, I can't control what's going to happen in two weeks, but what I can control is myself leading up to that, my actions leading up to that event. So I can plan it, I can schedule it, I can set it, I can do the content, do the graphics, communicate to the attendees, talk about who's coming. I can control my communication and my vision on how that's going to go, and that's kind of it. I can't control anything else. Once you realize that, once I realize that you know, you can relinquish the control again. I think the word is kind of be overused here, but that's the whole point of this podcast. It kind of gives you a sense of not just a little bit of calmness but also empowerment.
Speaker 1:We got to a point at the end of Q4 with Crew Club and I was kind of at the point with Crew Club where it was kind of, you know, we did 125 or 26 events. Don't get me wrong. They were still excellent. I was still connected with a lot of people, a lot of good stories going around the table, a lot of good knowledge. However, for me it just kind of was getting redundant. I was kind of being a, I guess, a product of my own system that I set up. You know I was out of control of. Oh, I don't really want to change it. So at the end of Q4, we had two choices Number one, we can let the kind of fizzle out naturally and say it was a good ride onto the next thing. Or number two, what can I do to actually, what can I control to increase the value of Crew Club? And again, it was one of those things where you know I wasn't getting a lot of, you know, crew members. I wasn't getting, I guess, what I expected Crew members resigning or people coming in and sponsoring. So it was I.
Speaker 1:Instead of shifting on trying to control people signing up, I controlled what I was putting out. I controlled my product, I controlled what I was trying to offer my customers and the people that attend the events. And through that focus, through that relinquishing of control, of relinquishing of people signing up, relinquishing of who's going to come, is this going to grow? I shifted all that energy. I shifted all that energy and effort into things that I could control. I can control how I wanted it to feel, how I wanted to look. I can control the value that I'm creating, which is okay. Let's get some topics going, let's, let's, let's organize this a little bit more. Let's make this a little bit more professional. Is put more structure to this. So that's what I did and I'm literally Just through that focus of kind of shutting out the surrounding environment and shutting out the my expectations of what I Wanted or what I was expecting to happen at the table.
Speaker 1:I just focused on what I, what I could control, what I, what I could put into that my time, energy and effort, my little TLC, if you will, and it's just. It's been such a lesson to me to, to to be okay, not worrying about the destination. It's more worrying about what the product I'm putting out, what, what's the value, what's the experience that I'm putting out there, with, with, with, crew club and and Through that, the focus and through what I'm doing, it's, it's blossoming as something Beautiful, it's something that's kind of train, it's transcended what previous events, previous experiences? Because now it's now I'm taking the reins of the outcome. I'm not allowing other people to dictate how I feel or my approach to the outcome. So, again, you know, what can you control?
Speaker 1:I mean, you know a lot of us. We get real bugged out on whether it's, you know, co-workers, bosses, ex-spouses, people's perceptions, how am I, how are they gonna proceed when I go in there? How was, how was this presentation in a land with this group? How is this pitch gonna go with this company? How is my? How was this person to perceive my performance? You know what there's? There's a lot of, you know A lot of anxiety. That goes behind. That's good. That goes behind control. How is you know? How is the? What's the destination? What's the result from all my effort? What's the result? People gonna like it is that is the target audience gonna love it.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of stuff and and this is kind of going to, there's a perfect time this year because it's election year you know there's a lot of stuff that are that is outside of her control, that we constantly consume. Shoving her face is, shoving her eyes and distract us, take away from our current surroundings. You know, whether it's social media, whether it's scrolling and getting involved in the Political mudsling and the jargon, the opinions of people's opinions. I mean people get so worked up on trying to control other people's opinions or outlooks and how they live their lives and all that stuff. You cannot control that you. It's. That's feudal control. That's trying to convince someone that their favorite color is is green instead of purple. Um, what else? You see this a lot with you, the older generation, the younger generation. You know, oh, there's the, the things that you control is really involves two things Okay, at the end of the day, and and it's so funny we get so worked up on things that we can't control.
Speaker 1:And why do we do that? Why do we try to focus on things we can control as humans? I think? I think a big portion of that is number one safety. You know, as humans, we want to know what the outcome is. When we go into the, when we go into the meeting, we go into the cave, when we go into whatever environment that we're facing, we want to know the outcome. So it's a sense of safety for us to want to have that control, which again is illusion, it's. It's a thing of predictability. We like knowing the, the predictable outcome of a Situation. We like Knowing, we like knowing what to expect out of something and all and all. That, I think, is a way to kind of protect us, is a way to kind of keep us in our comfort zone. It's a way to kind of Honestly, kind of live in our own turmoil Up here in our heads to try to get to that end goal, that situation that we're going for.
Speaker 1:So the, in reality, there's only two things that you really can control and this is something that it's not one of those things that you have that Aha and it dawns on you moment you just keep moving forward. It's one of those things where it does take Constant practice. It does take constant self-awareness and reflection. Usually, when you do start noticing little trigger points, when you start getting frustrated or you start getting kind of that data shape or a lot of anxiety hitting you, and really it's it's, it's it's okay. Once you start kind of going through these motions, you have these trigger points. It's it's to disconnect, to start to start understanding.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, I'm in a situation now where I'm trying to control Something that is outside my control. Um, and also, just because you don't have control, I want to say this it's pretty power empowering that you don't have control, because you begin to realize what you do have power over, and that's number one your actions. You control what you do, when you do it and how you do it. Okay, yeah, I mean, that's there's really. I mean whether it's getting up and going to the gym, you control that. If you're trying to wait, whether it's a presentation you're worried about. You know how the board's gonna think or how your team's gonna think. Well, you control the prep work, you control what that presentation looks like and you control you preparing for that. So, at the end of the day, at the end of the day, you put your time, energy and effort in that and you have to kind of just trust that process. However that's gonna result, that's gonna happen. However, you're controlling your actions leading up to that meeting. You're controlling your actions and how you respond and how you and, honestly, how you don't respond to people.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of times that people kind of come in our lives and literally just trying to make things difficult and you feel like you have to prove yourself right or it's like, oh my God, this person's so illogical. Let me try to kind of combat them with a little reason, all that stuff to be right, to feel like I'm right to win, to change their perception. But that's your controls and your actions. Like I don't need to engage in that, I don't need to respond to that. I can focus my actions on something else, something bigger, something better, and not get lost in the weeds.
Speaker 1:All right, and another thing that we control, the second thing that we control. So the first thing is actions and the second thing is perceptions. We can change, we control what goes on up our head and how we perceive things. Again, it's anything from a troubled coworker, it's anything from a friend to a spouse to anything like that. We can control our perceptions about kind of a situation real briefly, and it's all about reframing it really is.
Speaker 1:There are several situations when I went from Crew Club, exec, crew, all these different things, where I was trying to control the outcome of things, what people thought of it, what people believed in it, and my action was okay. Well, I can pour myself into kind of prepping what this program looks like, these modules, what I wanted to feel like I can go into and controlling the graphics, the content, the story behind everything, the branding behind everything. And I can control perceptions a little bit difficult because my perception based on other people's perceptions. But at the same time, if I'm the audience, if I'm viewing myself as a third party member of these organizations, am I getting out what I would want my customers to get out of it? And previously, yes, but I felt like I could do better. And so, through knowing what I control, what I can control, I'm actually pouring myself into now of just really kind of getting rid of the noise, getting rid of the external noise, of the commotion of what are they gonna think, how's it gonna be perceived by the industry, what are the people that attend? How are they gonna think, what are the sponsors gonna? So now it's to okay, well, I'm gonna kind of amp this up for everyone in the room. That would be a great experience, even if you came in to participate or you did not. So, yeah, I think let me just see what else we got.
Speaker 1:You know, I had a conversation just kind of wrap this up, and I think this is a good test for anyone out there and just kind of understand when it comes to control. So I don't know what everyone out there their morning routine looks like, but I have noticed something and this is just kind of maybe something for you to take out there, you to take home. Maybe it's a test for you to try this week or whatever. So, again, one thing that I ask you to do okay, so some take home stuff as you're listening to this one thing I ask you to do is when you do start kind of having that anxiety about a goal or an outcome, whatever that looks like, or a situation in your life. Stop, feel it. Understand yourself. Okay. Well, I'm having some anxiety. Where is that coming from? And if you notice that is from a lack of control or it's an outcome that you don't really have control over, but you're just wishing, really really hoping, hoping, hoping. Stop yourself, understand, okay, there's a lot of stuff here that I'm really not that I don't have the power to control, but what can I really shift my focus? That's my actions and that's my perception. That's my attitude on how I'm gonna approach this. I'm gonna be either gonna be nervous, scared and hesitant and really kind of honestly self-sabotage, maybe procrastinate a little bit because this is a big item or task list in your path that you need to accomplish. So, yeah, I think it's paused in there, so, anyway.
Speaker 1:So I was talking to a buddy of mine, a fellow exec crew member, last night. Let's talk about the Daddy Daughter dance. We're kind of talking about control and it was one of those things that we both started kind of. You know, we both every morning we try to start and read some daily stoic. We try to start our mornings with control, and I was having the conversation with them. It's like whenever I wake up in the morning and I set my day with intention. If I wake up and I'm like, okay, well, I have an hour, I'm going to take 30 minutes to journal, I'm going to take 30 minutes to meditate, 30 minutes to yoga, whatever that looks like, whatever that 30 minutes is for me to prepare my day, to get my mind right for the day, it feels like I'm in control of my day. It feels like any external thing that comes out I'm in control of that.
Speaker 1:And it was very interesting because we were talking and I said you know, there's also some days where it's like I kind of get up and I have to get on the computer and send that email or I have to follow up with this person first thing out of the gate, and rather than me control my mornings, control my intention of what I want to do, the day controls me, it pulls me along. It kind of I get wrapped up and I get caught in that and that and that rip tie that pulls me out in the day and where I feel a hectic, I feel kind of a lot of anxiety, I kind of feel like the things are kind of spinning outside of my, my realm, outside of my will, outside of my control. So I thought it was so interesting.
Speaker 1:Again, the test and the challenge out there for you right now is to say, look, let's try to start first off identifying whenever we do have that lack of control feeling. But let's try to start controlling maybe an hour of our mornings If we have to wake up, you know, 30 minutes or an hour earlier or whatever that looks like, or maybe we don't, we skip the morning news on the TV because, again, that's all the stuff that we can't control. But if we kind of focus just on ourselves, set our day with the right intentions, kind of control our morning, control what we want to do, control our tasks, control our perception about the day, then we can control our actions and tackle the day. And I have a feeling, I have a bet, that if you start controlling your mornings, you will be in control of your day. However, if you let your morning slip away, your day will be in control of you. And and that's that's tough feeling.
Speaker 1:So I want to thank everyone out there for for tuning into energy crew podcast. If you're enjoying it, please like, subscribe, check it out, check more previous episodes out over release and a lot of these little tidbits kind of help people navigate, navigate their the new year in themselves and try to elevate themselves kind of from the historic, traditional ways, the ruts that we kind of get, kind of get into. So again, seize your day, carpet DM, but you take control of it. And I want to thank everyone out there again check out exact, check out crew club, if you're looking to elevate your connections, your networks. I want to thank again y'all out there. Please like, share, tag, talk about it and keep sending me those messages. That keeps me going. Thank y'all and we'll see y'all soon.