Life - It Just Keeps on Going
Join in a spiritual adventure to examine what will happen when each of us dies. We will meet with people who have gone to the other side and come back (Near Death Experience - NDE), people who can speak with spirits on the other side (Mediums), people who help others go back to earlier lives to solve current problems (Past Life Regression Therapy) and much more.
We will also enjoy experiencing energy healing such as acupuncture, master energy healers, reiki, medical qigong, and more.
Life - It Just Keeps on Going
Beyond the War: Lessons from a Remembered Life With Benjamin Carraud
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In this interview, Benjamin Carraud discusses memories and research related to Eugen Kunstmann, contrasting his own recalled impressions with documented biography.
Carraud describes how journalist Stefan Alix’s documentary, book, and foundation connected him to supportive therapy, including a therapist with similar memories.
Benjamin recounts an “intermission” life-review experience after death, including guilt over executing a captured child, and says it reshaped his understanding of responsibility and forgiveness.
He encountered three beings who “came for” him and worked with him. He learned a lot about the human soul, about the weight of forgiveness, what it means to forgive, what it means to forgive yourself, and what it means to also be a human being and face the consequences of your action.
We are starting back into another interview here in our series with with Benjamin Caroe. This is in support of this wonderful book that's available "Goodbye Fields of And we're gonna talk a little bit in this episode about those fields, so I wanted to mention that. Welcome back Benjamin.
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948Thank you. Thank you for having me again.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Yes I wanna talk to start off this episode about Eugen Kunstmann as a person other than a soldier. As just a man in in town. Can you tell me what you recalled about that and what came up In your
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948Sure. Sure. So I will split those two. I will tell you what I remember first. I remember Eugen essentially growing up, I wouldn't say in poverty, but at least with the looming fear of destitution. What I remember is that the shock of the war, especially after it ended, really shaped him. At the time, Eugen would have been nine years old when the war ended. Actually, the war ended two days after his his ninth birthday.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Okay.
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948He was then-- Yeah, it-- I don't have much memories until probably early 20s because then I remember getting into a lot of street fights with the socialists, the communists, I don't know how to
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Oh,
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948reds. The reds, that's how we visualize it.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Reds. Okay.
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948Just just gang fights. We would like raid their-- I don't know, like they would have these political rallies. I have memories of where you arrive, and you like shut down the electricity, and then you just jump into the crowd, and you just distribute just to make sure the rally doesn't finish the way it's supposed to. And from then on, I just remember going to to a school. And that school, they gave me the atmosphere that there was very little equipment, but we were trained and trained constantly outside, even if it was snowing. Always wearing something I remember very well white tank tops with black shorts and constantly being outside, constantly being cold or wet and just forging that. And from then on, it's just army life. I don't have me- a lot of memories of what happened outside of being of being in the army. In fact, I don't remember any of my adult family life, which is Eugen was married, and I have zero recollection of that. I don't remember at all.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Okay. Okay And then you did some investigation and you found out other
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948All right. So now let me tell you the story of Organ Kuntzmann, and you can compare a little bit with what I just told you. Organ Kuntzmann was indeed born in being born in 1909, he experienced the First World War. It is unclear now if his father took place or not. I don't remember him taking part in the war, in the First World War. That being said, I remember that there was this family push that, like the country was in danger and you had to stand up for what was right, and standing up for what was right was making sure that the communists are not in in, where we are. Organ is recorded as joining the the the essentially the paramilitary groups. He was part of a youth organization called Bund Oberland, which was essentially street fighters dressed as as soldiers. So this is when they started to have the branches and et cetera. Organ joined the the SS in 1930, so very early, relatively early. He has a SS number in the low fifteen thousands, so he's one of the early members. And he went essentially from fighting in those like street fights with those paramilitary organizations to being selected to to join the very first pool of officers, of cadets that were to be trained exclusively by the SS.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Oh.
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948that was at the time a relatively new thing by the SS that changed after the decapitation of the Sturmabteilung. So the SA that helped Hitler come to power was essentially beheaded. Its ranks were incorporated into the Nazi party. And in its place, Himmler, because he was instrumental at the time, managed to create his own school and say, "Now we're gonna have a standing army of, troops at disposal, which was called the SS Verfügungstruppe, which was the available troops in a way you could say or this,
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Okay.
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948And Eugen was a part of that very first push. So he was trained in a, in officer school in Bayern. He graduated in 1935, and he stayed as a lecturer, so he helped train the next generations.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948okay
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948that, that period was extremely formative because there Eugen met essentially everybody that would matter in the Waffen-SS in the next 10 years, basically. Because everybody from top leadership, I'm talking corps level, so above division were also at this school, and Eugen made a relationship with all of them, which would serve him a lot in the future, especially in Russia.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Yes.
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948then essentially, Eugen had a career part of the SS-VT. So the SS at the time was three things. You had the Allgemeine SS, which was the general administration of the SS. You had the, You would have also the Leibstandarte, which was the bodyguard of Hitler, a very unique organization.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Oh
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948the SS-VT, which were all the SS that could march, because that's what we did basically all the time, just marching in parade. And then you had the Totenkopfverbände, which were the concentration camp guards. So Eugen right from the start was from the core of what was seen to be later the army part of the SS.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Okay. Okay.
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948he was rotated between all the different regiments or battalions. So in the north, in the south, he was in Hamburg, he was in Bayern for a bit. And his first action was taking part in the Anschluss in 1938. So he-- with his regiment, he was-- with his battalion, he was sent to Austria, then the Anschluss happened, and then they just essentially just came back. So it was a fairly simple affair, if I may say. Nothing like 1939 when the war actually started then Eugen was part of the SS Standarte Deutschland and he saw some very heavy fighting in Poland. He earned the Iron Cross there, but he also got his very first taste of combat, which is not something I remember, by the way, because the first fighting I remember is in the Netherlands. I remember fighting in the Netherlands, which is actually something Eugen did in 1940 when his regiment was essentially sent first to the Netherlands to capture some cities and then they fought all the way to France. And I have some memories of the fightings in one city in France and Eugen is recorded as being forward of the advance guards, which is what I remember. I remember somebody shooting at me and being like, for the first time the bullet was very close because I think the bullet ricocheted and zipped and hit right behind me. And I was with another officer and we realized, oh, okay, like this is serious. We could get hurt here. But this was the, up until 1940, the trajectory of Eugen Kuntzmann was relatively simple. He was a company commander. He was relatively esteemed to the point where his assignments started to take him more and more towards staff duties. And he was made essentially quartermaster very first SS division. So he was a busy man. And when the Reich division, which became Das Reich in the future, was sent to Russia in 1941, Eugen Kuntzmann was their supply officer. So he had a huge amount of challenges, constantly essentially fixing issues with logistics and fixing also issues with the resistance that was starting to appear behind the lines because the Soviets had a lot of stragglers left behind. was commended for that to the point where his next assignment was being sent to SS Division Nord was fighting in Finland at the time. And that was a much more quiet time. This is not something I re-- I only remember one scene, actually two, from that period. One is a moment of despair on the front line because Eugen started to have, I remember, some psychological issues at the time.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Okay.
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948A, because the war was starting to take a direction where-- and officers on the ground, I think if you had a v-view large enough, you realize that this is not a fight that will only end when one of the belligerencies is out of bodies to throw in the battlefield. And and that was obviously a huge concern for German officers because the amount of casualties that the Soviets were taking were huge. But there was always replacements, whereas for the German army, replacing an officer or replacing an NCO is much more complicated. To bear on Eugen. I remember a troubled relationship with alcohol, which is interesting because I don't drink anymore now. I drink... it's just always been this way. And also I remember that the, the-- this is something that came back to me when I was writing my book, actually. I remember the-- that one of my younger brothers died. And turns out that his younger brother had died in in 1941 during the invasion of the Soviet Union. He disappeared. He was 19. And I remember that this younger brother had joined the SS because of my example he was 10 years younger. And all this together led to one incident that happened in 1942 in the late summer 1942, where Eugen was responsible for a very violent brawl in a tavern where another officer of the Wehrmacht, not SS, was injured and Eugen was seen as the biggest agitator. So I found this letter actually to support that claim, a letter from Himmler that I printed in full in my book, that actually ex-explains that Eugen needs to be punished for his action and therefore sent to be a commander of a fighting unit. Himmler said that Eugen would be sent as a infantry battalion commander. In reality, it happened differently. Eugen was sent to the newly reformed Totenkopf division and became a commander, first of their battalion, and as the regiment-- as the division was deployed in the east, he became commander of the armored regiment. So he was commanding all the tanks of the division, essentially,
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Oh,
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948All the way up until his death.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Wow. Wow.
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948Yeah. So he was on track to be a staff officer because in Finland, he was chief of staff of the division commander. So you're not really expected to be leading a
james_2_02-25-2026_074948No.
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948or companies at this level. It happened as a punishment and that essentially-- And an interesting thing is that ni- 95% of the things I remembered spontaneously before my first regression were from that period in that last division in the Totenkopf because it was notoriously more brutal.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Okay. Okay. Ev-eventually fi-find That there were people who had similar situations a-and written books about that. Specifically,
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948Yes. Stefan Alix.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Yes. Yes. Steph and Alex. And tell me,, how did your discovery of that book and that person, how did that affect your your work?
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948Yeah I have a eternal debt. I'm going to light a candle for him every year until I die because he helped me out a lot. He helped me out two ways. This gentleman first made a documentary I think in two thous- I saw it in 2016, but I don't remember exactly when it was made. And he covered three individuals who had cases of past life memories, one of them being the young James Leininger. So this journalist already at the time opened the door for me because thanks to that documentary, I started to realize that there could be an explanation to my troubles.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948What a relief that must have been to think that per-perhaps you're not
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948Life-changing. Life-changing. Life-changing. It's a lifeline that I really, with humble humility, I hope my book can be the same. I hope my book can end up in the hands of people who are going through that and say, "Hey," like it's... Okay it's definitely a rare experience. I don't expect to receive a million messages of things say- people saying they've gone through the same thing. But for those who do, because it happens, I hope they, they realize that they are not alone. 'Cause it's a strange experience, right? It, it messes with your sense of identity.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Absolutely. Yeah. So you ended up learning that Steven Alex or Stefan Alex had started a foundation,
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948Yes.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948that
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948Oh, yeah. Oh my goodness. Yeah. He-- So I reached out to him because I can't remember how I found out about it, about maybe five days or six days after my regression I find that he's just published a book about his past life memories. I'm like, "What is going on?" So I never bought a book that fast. I rushed straight to the closest bookstore. They had it, I bought it and the same evening it was read cover to cover. And he actually remembered being a SS of the same division I was in. So
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Same division.
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948same division. Completely different time period. We probably never crossed path 'cause for intricacies that I will not get into because it's boring. The odds of them crossing path is nonexistent, but they ended up serving in the same division. And of course I was completely blown away. The trajectory that he followed in his book is quite different than mine in the way that I'm not aware of him having spontaneous past life memories before he went on a retreat and meditated, and he just came. My way was different 'cause mine was just purely spontaneous. I wasn't meditating. And also, he seemed to find closure by going back to the place where he died and did this whole ceremony there, which is not something I felt the need to experience, strangely. I care very little actually about what happened to Organ's mortal remains, to be frankly honest with you. And but it was obviously very, a very warm feelings. And as I searched about the guy, I found that the, the-- he had essentially created a foundation that is designed to help people who have ex- not only, but also to, to give support, not just in rhetoric, but actually give resources for people who are going through extraordinary experiences. I reached out to them, and I was put in touch with a psychologist who was extremely kind, who also obviously made the immediate connection with Stephane Alex's story, and who also advised me to... she gave me a list of criterias I should incorporate in, in order to find my next therapist, and I did, and this is how I find my next one. So in many ways, he helped me in a lot of different milestones of my life. So I have to give credit where it is due. I am glad that this gentleman did what he did.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Yes. Yes. And did you continue on with your therapy there, A-after that?
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948Yeah, we had a few sessions. He-- I didn't want to do another regression. I don't know if I said it openly, but I was not looking For that, I was looking for actual support and therapy, which which what-- which is what my next therapist gave. A hundred percent, he was an incredible man. He is a man that,
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Yep.
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948think he's had multiple lives, and I'm not talking from the reincarnation point of view. I'm meaning in his present life, I think he's done just like you, just I. He's had different things. One of the things he's gone through, which is something he explained to me later on, is he went through the experience of remembering his past life. However, he remembered the experience of being if I say it this way: I was the man holding the rifle, he would be the man standing in the sights. He remembers being a, he remembers being a Jewish sh- or a Jewish child who was shot by an SS soldier.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Oh, my
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948So you can imagine it the exchanges we had were extremely deep, especially since he showed me so much compassion. Sometimes you want people to show, not by explaining, but just by, by showing you a role model of this is what somebody who's been through the experience and who is accomplished looks Like,
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Yes.
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948a physical living experience that it definitely... I'm not saying it made his life better, but I'm saying he has become an accomplished human being despite that experience.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Yes.
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948And that was very important for me to be able to meet somebody. And also, it sounds strange, but it was a man, and my previous therapist was a woman, and I think I was much more able to project myself with another man than I was with a woman. This is something I realized relatively recently. And yeah, this gentleman changed my life. We-- I ended up having a regression with him, but he had no taste for let's say, tourism of the past and getting me more images and things. Actually, the only image I remembered from that regression was the moment I was on this front in Karelia, in, in Finland, fighting the Soviet Union in f- in just, it's just nothing happening there, and and just feeling completely d- completely deflated by the perspective of fighting an endless war. That was very important for me to remember that during that regression because it gave me a very human side to latch onto, where Oregon, for the first time, I remembered Oregon had moments of doubts while he was alive. And I needed doubt. I needed a crack in the armor. I needed to see that even then I was still human.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Yes.
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948That was important. That's the only thing that Daniel allowed me to see. For the rest, we, we did a lot more introspective work. I take-- I'll talk about it in my book. If you don't mind, I will stay a little bit shy about it now because this is something that usually makes me very emotional.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948That's fine. That's fine.
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948but it, I think I released something then. Released something. I felt cold actually for a week. I felt like some energy had left me, and it's very-- I don't really know what to make of that, but it happened, and ever since I had a much more relaxed like less sense of urgency.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Oh, good. That was good,
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948Yeah. Yeah. But for 30 days the door was open, and I had a lot of spontaneous memories then, a lot less after. still had some, but they were less, less important. So that's how my life changed. It's never a lonely road. And I say this to, I say this to those who are listening. I'm gonna speak directly to the camera. But if you're going through this, I really encourage you that to to re-remember that this is not supposed to be a lonely road. This was never meant to be a lonely road. Don't hesitate to reach out. There are people who will support you, whether it's through therapy, whether it's through friendship, whether it's just a sense of kinship. Don't Keep it in. Bring your light, and it just makes the bonfire brighter. That's it.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Yes. Very kind of you to, to offer that. One aspect of-- that I think came out somewhat in your second regression was the fact that, w-one side of him was total unfeeling and capable of doing horrible war things. Then the other side was a man saying, there's something wrong with all of this," in the same person. And and so I think it must've been very difficult for you to have been able to experience th-that Eugen acting very, would say almost animalistic, in, in killing and that sort of thing. And there was one event that happened where he did... there was someone who was captured. There was a young, enemy agent or whatever that was captured. Did you wanna talk about that or no?
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948I think if I want to talk about it, I would talk about it from the perspective of the intermission, if you don't mind. I have no taste for the gory details, so I will skip over
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Okay.
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948But that being said, I think it's an interesting thing because strangely enough, those darkest moments were the most helpful for me. And if you don't mind, I would like to dive a little bit deeper about what happened after I had my second regression, because a-about, about two, three weeks after, I had a very important night in my story.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Yes,
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948I had just, I had just-- I thought I had just resumed my life. I had found a job that I worked very hard to get. Basically, worked my way into a company creating a position tailored just for me, so I was just happy. And three days in, I have this awful night where I couldn't sleep because I had these these very spontaneous flashbacks that came, but they felt like I was standing on... laying down on a beach, and there was waves crashing and crashing. And basically, I remembered what happened after those last stragglers left the battlefield, and
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Yep.
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948I stayed alone. I-- During that night, I remembered this period as I explained it's a life review, but in a much longer timeframe. Because, so I was on that space. I stayed on that battlefield. Once the battle had died down, it felt like the night fell and the sun never came back. And I felt extremely isolated there. Basically, there was just nothing to do. There was this sensation that the distances didn't matter anymore because there was nowhere to go to. It's like the best prison you can conceive because you try to walk a hundred kilometers in a direction, you look down, you realize you're still in exactly the same spot.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Okay. Okay.
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948So very quickly, the out-- looking outwards become meaningless, so therefore, you start to have a more inward look. And what I remember is I went through a process of re-experiencing time and time and time again a lot of very important moments of my life. And those inc- those including, strangely enough, and I think it's an important thing to say, whether I witnessed something and did nothing or whether I did it myself the guilt was the same whatsoever. But I was confronted to a lot of scenes of chaos that I created, and one of them was this, the scene of this little kid, and I would... now I would like to go in detail. I remember that we had caught this kid laying mines and, you interrogate him, of course and you're thinking what an idiot. Why did he get himself caught? But there's nothing really new you can learn from him. We know there is pockets of resistance deep inside. He's probably not going to be able to be willing or able to tell us where it is. It's ve- it's fairly routine. He has to be executed. This is the guidelines, and I actually found the orders that were given at large to the commanders on the ground. They had ample discretion to be able to pass on the judgment and execute the prisoner on the spot if they were deemed to be irregular combatants. But this is exactly what happened. I ordered this kid to dig his own grave. And he st-started sobbing, and he's, he's trying to-- it's sad. It's sad because there, there is this air of disbelief when you tell somebody that they're gonna die, and they-- you don't even have to say it. They know where it's going, but they are looking for just a shred of humanity to latch onto around their faces present. Very quickly they give up, so they turn inward or they cry out, but not to you. And we got-- I got a bit fed up with that, so I said, "All right, enough. It's d- it's deep enough." Somebody bound his hands behind his back. I was maybe three meters behind. Somebody passed me a rifle. I popped the safety with my thumb and aimed the base of the skull, and he dropped. And that scene came back a lot, obviously. Peeling a lot of layer of lies. For instance, why did I do it? Huh. The first thing that came to me in my regression, because my therapist asked me, "Why you did it, Benjamin?" And I said, "So my men wouldn't have to do it," but that was a lie. That is something I remembered during that night. I remember exactly why I did it. I had joined a company of killers, and they had never seen me sh- dirty my hands.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Oh.
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948So I th-- the idea popped into my mind that the next guy that needs to go I'm gonna take care of it. I would take command of the execution, and I will pass the sentence, and all the men around will know that their commander gets his hand dirty just like everyone else. Because contrary what to what you might think, not a lot of people enjoy shooting people in the head. This is not a f-- this is something that is fundamentally dirty. It is extremely personal. Extremely personal. Whether you like it or not it stays with you. Which is why when I remembered the thing the first time, all I could give you was very, not even emotions, because I didn't really have any, to be fair, but visually the im- the aspect of a human being dying like that is, is something that is is traumatic. Deep.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948yeah.
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948So nobody wants to do it And but I did it for extremely selfish reasons when you think about it, to confront that this is something that you confront when you are in this state, this intermission state where you--
james_2_02-25-2026_074948yes.
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948there is no hiding. And it's strangely enough, I don't see it as a punishment. I never felt like I was being punished. I felt like I was forced to own what rightfully belonged to me. But ow-owning such a moment, it means being the you're no longer the puppet. You see the strings pulling on everybody. Why we're here, why he is here, 'cause this is things that you remember as well, like his mother, how old he was. The-- all these things are things to understand. Also, the perspective can change. For the first time, I saw his eyes, I saw his face just before I was about to shoot him. By the end of the experience, of course, because I was detached enough the consequence of such a such a night were very very powerful for me, of course, because I think it taught...
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Yes.
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948In one night, I really learned a lot about the human soul, about
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Wow.
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948The weight of forgiveness, what it means to forgive, what it means to forgive yourself, what it means to also be a man be a human being and facing the consequences of your action. Strangely enough, it affected me now in the way that now I'm much more aware of the reach of my actions, both positive and negative. A bad word can ruin somebody's day. A good day can uplift somebody in ways you don't know. These are things I realized because I realized that the ripples that you leave on the pond, when you th- you throw a rock, this is what happens in life. When you... Every action you do, it's like you throw a rock in a pond. The ripples, they can travel very far. It doesn't matter if they're strong or not, this is something I realized because you see all the ramifications of your actions, the things you say or don't say. And at the end of this process, I remembered being i-identity-less. You don't really exist where you are. You, you... you're just there. You don't have hopes anymore. You don't... you're just existing. There's no sense of past or future. You're just in the now. And that is when I felt like somebody came to get me, basically. I noticed three beings in my little world. What were they doing here? I don't know. They... When I saw them, I realized that they came for me. they...
james_2_02-25-2026_074948that discussion of
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948Yeah, sure.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948To, to our next inter-interview. But I wanna talk a little bit about the fact that this process that where you were there on s- there on the battlefield and it seemed from talking before and from reading some in the book it seemed like that this seemed like it to... it was endless. I-is that accurate? That, that your time there just kept, kept... You just thought you were just gonna be
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948It's--
james_2_02-25-2026_074948forever?
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948Yes, but again it loses its meaning because the fear of staying there forever only matters if there is a future.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Oh, okay.
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948the, concept of staying there didn't really seem like something I was worried about, to be fair. I never had a sense of, "I'm stuck here. I will never leave. Nothing else will happen." And I've, I remember it mostly as a very peaceful state where you are just
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Okay.
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948There is no... He-hence something I hope I will develop after. Hence why when she offered me to come back, I didn't want. Why would I leave this state of nothingness? It's not blissful, but at least it's not painful,
james_2_02-25-2026_074948and you weren't, yeah, you weren't worried about like in, like during human life, you're, you are taking actions that, that have ramifications, positive or negative. And in this existence that where you were, there were no actions to take, right? You
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948No.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948existing.
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948Yep. Yes the, the-- it's a state of nothingness, really.
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Yeah. Yeah. And...
benjamin_2_02-25-2026_194948but no sense of identity. I don't know if that makes sense. Do you see what I mean?
james_2_02-25-2026_074948Yes, I understand. I understand what you're saying. And that was okay, and you were gonna just hang out there. And let's let's take a brief break and come back and talk about what happened while you were there in, in that state and something did happen. Okay. Thanks.