Ep 29 Unveiling Authenticity Through Fashion with Jessica Papineau
Kathy Washburn: [00:02:00] Welcome Jessica Papineau. I am so excited for this conversation.
Jessica Papineau: Me too, Kathy. I'm so grateful for you having me on and I know we've connected a couple of times now and we're so aligned.
Kathy Washburn: And we are so aligned and I, I really believe that everybody listening will feel that and will benefit from it.
Kathy Washburn: Jessica is the founder of CSJ, a leading authentic fashion styling company. And I just have to say that again. Authentic fashion styling company. She works with high performing females who simply want to look and feel their best. Jessica and I met at a company called through a company called brand builders, where I am at the beginning of that [00:03:00] program.
Kathy Washburn: And Jessica is clearly many steps ahead of me and really getting that clarity around who it is that she's serving. And that's I'm trying to do that as I'm transitioning My ideal client. So I would love Jessica, if you could introduce yourself to the audience, tell us a bit more about who you are who you serve and what you're bringing into the world.
Jessica Papineau: So I, I really work with and help, high performing women to not only elevate their style, but to transform their careers, their relationships and their lives. And I've been doing this for many, many years now, and really over the course of the last couple of years, really niching in on, who I'm serving in that very deep way.
Jessica Papineau: And I truly love working with that high performing woman. And when I [00:04:00] say high performing, she really is that woman that desires to be the best version of herself in all areas of her life. You know, with work, she's continuously reinventing herself whether she's a high level executive or an entrepreneur she really is interested in education and, and continuously growing and getting better and more successful.
Jessica Papineau: In her business, but she also desires to be the best version of who she is at home, you know, with her children, you know, really holding the space with them participating in, in their activities and really knowing that she needs to outsource talent. In all areas of her life to really help her take things next level.
Jessica Papineau: She wants to deepen her relationship with her significant other. She loves going on date nights and she really takes that time is very thoughtful and [00:05:00] intentional about. Being the best version, but sometimes she doesn't fully align herself with what she truly desires because she's very caught up in what others need and want from her.
Jessica Papineau: And so I'm really going from the outside in and helping her to really imagine what. A life could be of what she really desires, and then lining up her wardrobe, aligning her wardrobe with that woman that she truly desires. And what I've learned over the course of many, many years is once we can line that up, the gap between where she currently is and where she desires to be, it closes very quickly.
Jessica Papineau: And so I've been, I've been in this business for many years. My, my company though, started February 14 of [00:06:00] 2019. And it is just been a wild ride of leaning into every, everything that I've been pulled to do with helping these women. And it's organically grown. And today we have, 4 people on the team and we, we work 1 on 1 with clients, but we're also going to be launching some pretty exciting stuff coming up very soon.
Kathy Washburn: I'm so excited. I think you and I collide. We, we serve a similar. Woman, and I helped them go from the inside out while you're working with them from the outside in, but it's really that, that type C personality who is just by being a type C there, there's a lot of positives to being a type C very successful, [00:07:00] anything she touches, she's ferociously and fiercely proud of and Often she's the last one on her list of things to do.
Kathy Washburn: And I love the idea of using, that shell of how we're presenting ourself out into the world as almost like a, talesman. To help you reach in the inside. You know, I often, people have heard me say this on this podcast. When I was going through this, I listened to a friend give this speech at a happiness.
Kathy Washburn: And he said, you sometimes have to rely on the belief of others so that you can believe in yourself. And I almost see that what you're offering. Is really allowing yourself to step in to that belief in yourself, but have it reflected from others. You know, it's that collision. Oh, you just [00:08:00] gave me chills.
Kathy Washburn: Kathy. It's such a beautiful gift and we need all these different ways of being because. It's taken us a long time to get where we are, where we, where we believe that we aren't the priority of our mattering.
Jessica Papineau: Right. Well, it has to do with worthiness, right? And, and, you know, the woman that I'm serving does a wonderful job at holding space with others.
Jessica Papineau: But she doesn't always give herself permission to really go there and, and hold the space with herself. So in the process, in the framework that I use with my clients, I've determined That before we even talk about clothes, you know, clothes, the, the fashion that's, that's the vehicle, but really the first part of the process is me holding the space with her, you know, to really dive in to what does she really want?
Jessica Papineau: Where does she see herself? [00:09:00] You know, and, and not where she thinks she should be or what others may want of her. Right. But really asking those questions. And what I find when I asked the question initially, you know, what do you really desire? Where do you want to be? She gives a very rehearsed answer.
Jessica Papineau: You know, it's never, and I know it because it just rolls off her tongue and, and it doesn't feel intentional. She doesn't even, it doesn't even feel like she's connected to herself when she says it. so I always push and go a little deeper and I get her to tell me more about what she really wants.
Jessica Papineau: sometimes there's an awkward silence and she'll say things like, Nobody's ever asked me that before, or I've never really thought about it. And so when she says she doesn't know, I start asking more questions about what she loves. What do you love to do? And [00:10:00] how did you play as a child? Like what lit you up, you know, and then from there, she starts to share and initially her voice is always really quiet.
Jessica Papineau: It's like, almost like a whisper. Like, is it okay for me to want this? And then, you know, as we go deeper and she, her voice gets more boisterous and you can feel the energy and the, and the passion, that's when. You know, usually the tears come and then I know that I've tapped in and then when she can describe not only what it looks like to be where she desires to be, but what it feels like, then I can use my superpower, which is my imagination and, and holding that space with her.
Jessica Papineau: I can really, I can close my eyes and as she's telling me, I can imagine what she looks like. And then we talk about that and then we walk into the wardrobe, whether that's [00:11:00] virtually or or in person and we see what's in there that really lines up with that. And that's how it all begins.
Kathy Washburn: It's such a beautiful process and, full disclosure, I am embarking on that process with Jessica and the next couple of weeks and I'm doing the prep work, which is super exciting.
Kathy Washburn: And when I 1st met Jessica through the brand builders, I checked out her website and. Which is beautiful and we'll have a link to that, but you have photos of yourself as a, as a child and this is not a new world for you. It looks like fashion has been your thing. From a very young age. But could you just tell me how it got started?
Kathy Washburn: Fashion in general got started for you and what it's actually done for you personally?
Jessica Papineau: Well, anyone that looks, you know, that meets me for the first [00:12:00] time and, you know, I, I tell them where I'm from and what my upbringing was like, they just can't even believe that I'm in the fashion world because I grew up.
Jessica Papineau: with hippie parents. We lived in the backwoods of Maine, like Off the grid, no electricity, no running water. We had an outhouse. We had a wood burning stove that he did the entire home. It was quite cold. We canned our fruits and vegetables, like, harvested them in the fall and canned, you know, all the things.
Jessica Papineau: And so. My parents weren't concerned with appearance. They weren't concerned with beauty or fashion. However, ever since, you know, my very first memories of me, you know, loving fashion and beauty, I used to go into my closet and mind you, my clothing was from Salvation Army. And I would take the articles of [00:13:00] clothing and make all these different outfits and put them on.
Jessica Papineau: And I would use my imagination because no television, right? I would look in the mirror with these outfits on and I would pretend that I was at all these different parties. I actually had all these different voices and people are talking to me and they loved my outfit and I felt beautiful and I really had this whole other world.
Jessica Papineau: That was very special and sacred to me. And that, you know, looking back at that now, I know that was my, that was my God given like that. That was my special thing that I was born with, you know, no one gave that to me. I wasn't born into a family that you know, that I was seeing all the. You know, pretty things and, and all, and, or even seeing on exterior world, like on TV, any of those things, I just had it inside me.
Kathy Washburn: Clearly [00:14:00] you did. I wonder in this world that we live in with so much social media and comparison, I can't help, but. Believe that that actually helped foster you to become your authentic self. Cause there was nobody to compare it to. So you found what authentic fashion was at a, at a really young age and how that can help you, interact with your environment.
Kathy Washburn: So you really do kind of come from the inside out also.
Jessica Papineau: I do. It's a little, it's a little bit of both. It's definitely a little bit of both, but I do find Kathy, what's really interesting because I work with a lot of women like yourself that are in that space of, really diving into self development.
Jessica Papineau: And, you know, and really, you know, and self care and, surrounding yourself with, you know, people that will help [00:15:00] to foster that. And what I find when I'm working with these high performing women that have done that internal work that when. I come in to play, the gap between where they are and where they desire to be.
Jessica Papineau: It closes even quicker. Like I've experienced the transformations that women go through going through this process with me. I've experienced it for many years, which is why I started my company in the first place. Like I wanted to deepen that, but the women like yourself that are in these spaces of, you know, really.
Jessica Papineau: Delving deeply into self development, this is like the finishing touch. This brings it all full circle.
Kathy Washburn: I can see that. And I actually feel that in just the prep work and our discussions together. And it is fascinating to me. You know, this podcast, the name of it is called investment of self not by accident.
Kathy Washburn: [00:16:00] I spent. 25 years in the investment world, and I've connected with a lot of those women that I worked with, and it's a fierce business. A lot of male male patriarchy, , successful women are fierce women in that world. And as I was transitioning away from cancer survivors and moving towards women who were stuffing their emotions.
Kathy Washburn: Transcribed Resisting conflict, being people pleasers. I went through an interviewed probably a hundred people and ask them questions about what it is that they desired, where they were going and had they ever done coaching and almost always. The answer was no, and almost always they said, I have done some therapy or I have a therapist that I work with, but it's paid for by my company.
Kathy Washburn: And then I would ask. If you were to do [00:17:00] coaching, how much would you be willing to pay for it? And the responses actually astounded me because they weren't ready to pay for it. They thought, well, I guess I go to the gym. I guess it would be equal to a gym membership. So, you know, 300 a month.
Kathy Washburn: And I thought, wow, we're not ready yet. So there really is that readiness of I'm ready to invest in myself. I'm going to jump in. And I'm, what I'm hearing from you is also you can't, well, actually I'm not going to say can't, that's a strong word and I'll say this because I've also experienced it, and this is a terrible, metaphor, but an old boss used to say it, you can't put lipstick on a pig.
Kathy Washburn: And by that, I mean, I tried to make that outside facade look. I spent a lot of money on my, my office or my [00:18:00] professional attire because I didn't feel authentic inside. I think that disconnection was almost visible from the outside. I would go to Nordstrom's and pay. dollars, a woman would knew, knew nothing about me at all.
Kathy Washburn: I would say, you need this, you need this, you need this. And I would crawl into that really uncomfortable shell and try to present myself into the universe, but authentic fashion styling.
Jessica Papineau: Yes.
Kathy Washburn: Tell me about this authentic.
Jessica Papineau: Well, a lot of it has, it. The problem really that I'm solving for women is unworthiness, the feelings of unworthiness.
Jessica Papineau: So it's interesting that you, that you did that research and you asked, you know, all those women what they would pay for a coach because I've done some research as well. And when women reach out to me for the first time, I always ask, you know, [00:19:00] where did you find me? When did you start following me? And typically, and we've done analytics on this as well.
Jessica Papineau: So they always say, you know, I found you on Google. Then I went and followed you on Instagram or Facebook. Then I started listening to podcasts that you were on. And then, you know, and I really enjoyed all the things and I, and I would say, okay, but. After doing that, how long did it take you to reach out?
Jessica Papineau: You know what the average answer was or is one year, one year from the time they thought about it and wanted it to actually doing it. And I would ask them why. And they would say things like, I was waiting until I got the promotion at work so that I could afford. I was waiting until I lost the weight so that I could reward myself with your services.
Jessica Papineau: I was waiting until, you know, [00:20:00] my son graduated college so I could use the money towards what I wanted. And so all these answers were telling me it was a worthiness issue, right? And then I would say, and why did you reach out to me now? And they would say, I didn't lose the weight. I never got the promotion.
Jessica Papineau: I'm so done and depressed and feeling so Not confident in my own body that this is like, I can't move on. I can't go. I can't go on like this. They were like, brought to their knees and so the want of it. Was greater than the not feeling worthy of it, but it took them a year to get there. But this is what I find after she begins working with me for a couple of weeks or a month or whatever it is.
Jessica Papineau: And then I asked the question, so do you would now [00:21:00] having the experience, would you have Reached out to me sooner and the answer is always yes. And the reason why it's yes is because what happens within those 1st, couple of weeks within that 1st, month or within that 3 month time that we're working together.
Jessica Papineau: There's huge changes that happen. When you were showing up in your true power as your true authentic self and the exterior reflects what the interior is success and abundance just blows and then the energy shifts. From the push of being successful, the push of wanting to be the best for other people.
Jessica Papineau: And they begin to experience this pull, the pull of what they really are designed to do in their lives, what they were [00:22:00] born here for, what impacts they can truly make based on sharing their gifts with the world and the success. The success stories, I could tell you so many stories but not just success in business and in what they're doing professionally, but their relationships begin to deepen and I hear things like, I never changed the thing with my diet.
Jessica Papineau: But I lost 15 pounds in a month and a half, my husband and I hadn't really been intimate in a long time, but now we can't keep our hands off each other. And we're having lots of sex. My relationship with my children is better. My kids are listening to me. They're now modeling some of the behaviors that I've wanted to see over the course of many years.
Jessica Papineau: And these are all transformations that happen in [00:23:00] a short period of time, simply because she is starting, beginning to feel worthy, putting articles of clothing on her body, that the fit and the fabric is such that she can look in the mirror and And truly see herself as the beautiful person that she is and what she's truly reflecting and what she's seeing in the mirror.
Jessica Papineau: She loves. Because when I meet these women, and when we begin working together, what I initially see when I put fitted clothing on her, is I watch her eyes go directly to the areas of her body that she doesn't like, that she believes are flawed, and that she's shameful of. And when we feel shame, or we feel like areas of our body we don't like, what do we want to do with them?
Jessica Papineau: We want to cover them up. She wants to put on that big sweater that doesn't show her [00:24:00] curves that she wants to put on, you know, a big jacket and cover up her whole figure so that when she steps out into the world and starts her day. She's showing up small. She's not really showing up powerfully. She's not walking in the room and having everyone look at her because she doesn't want anyone to look at her because she believes she's flawed.
Jessica Papineau: And so what I'm teaching women how to do is not only highlight the best areas of their body. I'm teaching them how to love those areas by seeing themselves in pieces of articles of clothing that are. Showing the best version of who they are, and they're walking out into the world. They're sharing their power, and they're walking into rooms that they previously were not showing up powerfully in.
Jessica Papineau: And now, when they walk in, the energy has lifted. People are watching [00:25:00] them. They're looking at them. And sometimes the feedback that I get is that they're initially uncomfortable with this because they're not used to it. And they're like, are they looking at me? Like what's happening right now? And then they start to see that their energy is affecting others in a very positive way.
Kathy Washburn: So beautiful. And I can again, see where our work collides. I think I shared with you. One of the practices I do with clients around their body is invite them to stand naked in front of a mirror and starting from their head name, what they don't like about their body. And then name whose voice it is.
Kathy Washburn: It's never their voice. It's never the voice. And it makes me cry just saying that out loud. And when, when women actually feel [00:26:00] or acknowledge These stories I've been telling myself are not my stories. I can give them back to wherever they came from, whether it was a familial ancestral passing along, or, you know, a bad relationship or a heated comment from somebody that was being unkind.
Kathy Washburn: And your work, one of the first things that you have people do is this review and reflect, which I feel like is a very similar thing because we're holding our stories in these pieces of clothing sometimes, where I did feel safe because I was wearing something that was baggy and covering me that, that made me feel safe, but I can put it down now.
Kathy Washburn: It's such a powerful moment. As you go through your closet and connect those things that maybe you're ready to carve away and not drag along [00:27:00] with you,
Jessica Papineau: you know, it's interesting about what you just said. You know, it's also the clothing that is. In a way, metaphorically hiding our stories and why are we hiding them?
Jessica Papineau: You know, we're hiding them because we're, we feel shameful about them. Right. And I can relate to that. I've suffered, abuse in my life abuse from, , even a family member that, you know, that, you know, should unimaginable. Right. So really, when we can look at ourselves as a whole person feel, you know, it, cause it's not the, it's not what others think of us.
Jessica Papineau: It really is our own perception, right? But when we can look at ourselves, feel beautiful, and then without having those self limiting beliefs or hearing those voices that aren't even our own voices, we can look into our own eyes and truly see ourselves.
Kathy Washburn: there's so [00:28:00] much ease that comes from that in that moment. And, you know, ease to me is really what happens when, the inside and outside collide. when people experience it, it's almost that moment of, as you experienced with your clients, wow, why did I wait so long? This is so much easier. So your process, which is so So brilliant, and I've only gone through the very beginnings of this , so I've done the review and the reflect, and I've been working on the, the three Fs.
Kathy Washburn: Can you tell us? Yes, yes. Three Fs. And
Jessica Papineau: so the next part of the process is assess and eliminate. And so now once you're, you have. The idea and you and you know what you desire and that you're ready to, you know, line up your, your wardrobe in this way, when you walk in your, your closet [00:29:00] realizing what pieces are no longer serving you and serving
Jessica Papineau: that part of you that's now becoming right? And so I use something, I try to make it as simple as possible because it, you know, there can be a lot of confusion around it. So many women tell me they just, they have this closet full of clothes, nothing to wear, but they don't want to eliminate it because it just seems so overwhelming and confusing.
Jessica Papineau: But the three apps are fit fabric and fashion. So the first one fit, I mean, it does sound like an obvious one, right? Does the, does the article of clothing fit me? Does it fit me right now? If it doesn't, it doesn't belong in your wardrobe. It's not serving you. You know, oftentimes I see women with, you know, a stack of jeans in their closet that are one to two to three sizes too small.
Jessica Papineau: I asked her, why are you hanging on to those jeans? And she'll [00:30:00] say things like, because I, I desire to fit into them one day. really, what are, what are you telling yourself when you have clothes in your closet that are too small, you're, you're shaming yourself. And every time you walk in there, you're seeing something that doesn't fit you.
Jessica Papineau: And what are you saying to yourself? So if you do feel like you have to keep it. Say you are in the process of losing weight and the weight is coming off. At least take those items, if they're great items, and remove them from that immediate space. So you're not looking at them every day. I think that's really, really important as women, you know, to do that.
Jessica Papineau: Well,
Kathy Washburn: that's so interesting. I've never thought about fit as Fit and body shaming, you know, fit is but you're right. They all just yell to you subliminally. Hey, Hey, you ate that donut this morning. That was a big mistake. Never fit into [00:31:00] me.
Jessica Papineau: That's really brilliant. And then, you know, the next one being fabric.
Jessica Papineau: This one is like, I would say, probably one of the most critical. So, you know, I truly believe that every woman is worthy of every woman. Putting on fabrics that feel amazing that feel great against her skin that highlighted all the great things about her body and so many women are keeping articles of clothing that the fabric is not intact.
Jessica Papineau: And, you know, sometimes she doesn't even know, you know, there definitely are some obvious things. Like,
Jessica Papineau: does the article of clothing have pills on it? Is it faded? Because it's, you know, it was once black and now it's like a light charcoal color because it's been washed so many times. those are pretty obvious things, but then there's things like, Is the fabric still intact?
Jessica Papineau: Has it broken down? fabrics have evolved over the years and [00:32:00] many pieces of clothing have lycra. You In them, alas, then, and these, you know, they're great because they lift and smooth and do all the things we want it to do. But over time, as we've overworn the item, or, you know, putting it in the washer, putting it in the dryer.
Jessica Papineau: It breaks that fabric down. And then when you put the clothing on, you think, well, it fits, but it certainly doesn't look good on my body. What's wrong with me. Right. But really it's that, you know, the fabric is not intact. You know, one of the ways that you can tell with jeans, for example, if the fabric is no longer working, if that Lycra has broken down, you'll see this bubbling and it's like right around the crotch area.
Jessica Papineau: It's like this bubbling. And you put the jeans on and they fit, but they are not doing what they intended to do. And it's time to retire them. The other way to tell if the fabric has broken down. Say you [00:33:00] have like a t shirt, like a cotton t shirt. And you pick it up and again, it fits you, but if you pull the fabric kind of apart a little bit, it doesn't bounce back into place.
Jessica Papineau: And it's almost like crunchy. I don't know if you know what I mean, but it's like the crunching.
Kathy Washburn: I know exactly what you mean. And that part of it, this fabric part of it. Again, I had this voice, my mother's voice, quite clearly, that I could repair, sew, have it tailored, recycle it, I mean, recycle it for myself.
Kathy Washburn: I didn't need to throw it away. That was wasteful. Or there's this, and again, it's not my voice. It's my mom's voice who grew up in a very different environment where darning socks was a thing and, you know, keeping items as long as possible was a thing like you grew [00:34:00] up, you know? Yeah.
Jessica Papineau: And that's where we get it from, you know, it's, it's like generational it's passed down.
Jessica Papineau: And then the last one, the fashion one. This can be very tricky for people, but one thing that we need to always keep in mind with our wardrobes is knowing the difference between a core classic item and a novelty item or a fast fashion item, because once you can really determine, okay, what is, is this a classic piece?
Jessica Papineau: If it's something that's going to take you season to season, you don't have to worry so much about the fashion piece of it. Is it still in fashion? Because you'll know it's classic. It's really just the fit in the fabric that you're assessing, right? If it's a novelty piece, say it's like the show, you know, cold shoulder, one of the sides is cut out or floral pattern, you know, that was really big at one time.
Jessica Papineau: And you're not sure, is this still in style? [00:35:00] It may just need to be styled in a different way than you have done it before, but you could also look up. I mean, this is why we have Pinterest and Google and Instagram and all the things that will tell us, right? If, if that item is outdated and then the last thing, you know, and this is not the F's, but, does the item align with the person that we're stepping into that we desire to be?
Jessica Papineau: if it doesn't, it's time to retire it, we get stuck in past when we're carrying, you know, items that really are no longer serving us.
Kathy Washburn: Yes. And that touches on the question I was going to ask you, why it's so important for a woman's style to align with her personal brand. And I'm, I'm just stepping into this personal brand work and it's not, everybody has a personal brand.
Kathy Washburn: It's how we show up in the world. can [00:36:00] you, can you expand on that a little more, how a style, that style and
Jessica Papineau: Well, it goes back to the authenticity piece, you know, and with personal branding, it's all about what does someone think about you when they, when they hear your name? What do they feel? And what do they think about you?
Jessica Papineau: Right? And it's really, dialing into our uniqueness. You know, it's our uniqueness that needs to be exploited. It's our uniqueness that, you know, allows us to, to really be impactful in someone else's life. It's what our special gifts are, right? And so when you can line that up and really be living in your, you know, authentic self, then you really are allowed and you're, and you're creating that impact for others.
Jessica Papineau: And really at the end of the day, you know, why are we all here [00:37:00] when we're lying on our deathbeds, you know, are we thinking about how much money we made you know what are we thinking about? We're thinking about the relationships we had and, , were they meaningful and, what was, did we, did we make an impact while we were here?
Jessica Papineau: You know, what was our, did we have purpose? You know, that's what truly matters.
Kathy Washburn: And this idea of allowing fashion to be the vehicle to help us get there. You and I have talked about stories both on and off of this podcast and, helping people. I help people through stories as well as a narrative coach and almost invite people to try them on, see if it's still working for them, or if they're trying to tell a new story or change a part of the story.
Kathy Washburn: And, as you go [00:38:00] through working with a client, do you actually witness them? Retelling old stories in a different way as a way of, I don't think I'm explaining this correctly. It's almost as if, you know, I have this vision of you as a child, trying on these clothes that you got from the thrift store and just being.
Kathy Washburn: So joyful and not not having anybody saying that's wrong. That's right. You should you shouldn't and I think when I heard you say you can you ask them to describe themselves as a child and you, you put that imagination factor, into that. And I'm thinking that you transition or you transmute your imagination to your client's imagination to allow them to reframe old stories.
Kathy Washburn: I guess maybe that's the way. Oh,
Jessica Papineau: okay. Yes. Sorry. It took me a while to get [00:39:00] this. No, I know exactly what you mean. And, and how I'm able to do that is because I did that for myself.
GMT20240705-160718_Recording_gvo_1280x720: You're welcome.
Jessica Papineau: And I, I desire for women to, to really get there before they, you know, are, are older in their lives. Like I was, I would say I was 40.
Jessica Papineau: Before I really took that pause and that opportunity to be curious about why I'm really here and what I'm really designed to do. And I believe that for people, transformations and thinking and being happen in moments. And I remember my moment. Can I share it with you?
Kathy Washburn: Yes, I would love it.
Jessica Papineau: So I was at a play. I was working in a a boutique as a sales manager here locally in Sarasota, [00:40:00] Florida. And it was a high end boutique. I was working all the women in the area and even, you know, people coming into town, they would frequent this boutique just to come and see me because they were, they were like, I don't want to say addicted, but they were like addicted to the feeling that they were getting and working with me.
Jessica Papineau: And I was noticing transformations happening. I was on the side, I was going to their homes. They were asking me to come to their homes and really help them curate their wardrobes and set them up, you know, for going on trips and, and then they'd come back and tell me how amazing it was and they were just experiencing more joy in their lives.
Jessica Papineau: And I was being really curious and thinking about these impacts I was making. And I thought to myself, I am within the confines of this store, right. And it's somebody else's space. And I had helped her grow her [00:41:00] business tremendously, but really what am I doing? I remember when I turned 40, I thought, is this all it is, like, is this all there is for me?
Jessica Papineau: And if I'm making this impact on these women in this way, working in this store, how could I deepen that? and I started to think about, you know, what I loved and I started thinking about how I was transforming lives and I was just being really curious about my life and I was driving to work one day and this is when I really started to listen to podcasts.
Jessica Papineau: And I was so into Tony Robbins because I needed, before I went into work every day, I needed to be like lifted up. And so I'm driving to work and I stop at a stoplight and I hear Tony Robbins on the podcast saying, if you have a gift and you know, you have this gift to share with the world, but you choose not to fully share it.[00:42:00]
Jessica Papineau: Then you are being extremely selfish. I stopped dead in my tracks, and maybe I had heard something like that before. I don't know. But in that moment, I could not unknow what I had just discovered. It just completely, like, flipped a switch in me, and I started to reframe my life differently. In that moment, and I realized that there was something more and that if I just put my, I was scared to start something new and we couldn't afford for me to just quit working and try to live out this dream, but.
Jessica Papineau: I knew that I had to make a change because if I didn't, I was not making full impact. I was only touching the surface of it. And so at [00:43:00] that point, everything changed. And I set up my business over the course of 10 months. I prepared that my exit really, and how I was going to start this. After, you know, five years, over five years of being in business in seeing the, how I've deepened these transformations for women and how I've become more joyful and, and moving through my fear and just doing it anyway, that I want every woman to have that joy, that experience of what it's like to live in this kind of alignment.
Kathy Washburn: I really appreciate the curiosity and, and the tenacity, to try something new. And I do believe that's what you offer clients that tenacity, maybe that's not the right word, but that gumption to, to be that, to step into that version and slowly try her on and [00:44:00] feel really comfortable.
Kathy Washburn: It's. For, I don't know what you're describing to me is the ultimate self care and we really lack that women, women can care, care, care, care, care all outside of ourselves. But that self care is such a hard, hard and necessary step. Actually. do what we really want to do, which is deepen relationships with the people around us.
Kathy Washburn: But it can't happen until we deepen the relationship with ourselves. And I'm so grateful for your work and the ripple effect that it has. I, I often, when I'm, when I'm talking to clients, I have this Visual of how many people you touch in your work, you know, that one woman that then touches everybody she works with, or that she lives with, or that she cares for it's all changed just with that one person.
Kathy Washburn: So I see [00:45:00] this most. Expansion ripple, the ripple effect of that is bananas. Jessica.
Jessica Papineau: Well, sometimes, you know, sometimes women just can't imagine it for themselves. Like imagine that it's possible, you know, like there was this, the very first woman that I dressed and that I helped to For her to reframe her life.
Jessica Papineau: I was 16 years old and I was working in. A woman's plus size clothing store and when I was hired there, I didn't realize that it was plus size clothing. I just wanted to go. I was handing my resume to every store and this was in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. And I was in the big city and women would come into the store when I first started there.
Jessica Papineau: And I was so excited to dress them. I mean, I had literally only dressed myself all these [00:46:00] years and had fun. And I was like, this is my opportunity. And I didn't see these women as like, they're, you know, they're plus size and this is going to be difficult. I was just excited to dress them. And so women were coming in and they didn't want my help.
Jessica Papineau: And I couldn't understand why. You know, I, I was, but I was the skinny scrawny kid. Obviously, I was not self aware to realize they did not want a 16 year old, you know, girl that had like these. Spindly little legs and super skinny helping them, but once I had been there for about a month or so and I had watched women go into the fitting room with all these clothes and come out defeated and look in the mirror and I would see them look at themselves and not love what they're seeing.
Jessica Papineau: And I had imagined them in the clothes. I wanted to put them in, but they weren't allowing me to put them in. And this one day [00:47:00] this woman walked in and it just so happens that her name was Kathy and Kathy and I didn't know her name at first. Kathy comes in and how can I help you today? I said it with enthusiasm every time.
Jessica Papineau: I was so excited. I'm like, this one's going to let me help her. And she comes in and of course same thing. Nope. I'm good. The hand goes up. Nope. I don't need your help. And I watch her do the same thing. Walks all around the store, gathers all these clothes, goes into the fitting room, comes out, looks defeated, leaves all the clothes in there, and goes to work.
Jessica Papineau: Kathy goes to walk out and I said, excuse me, she's about to like leave the store. I said, excuse me, clearly you came here for a reason. Like you drove to the furthest mall, right? It's like the dead of winter in Winnipeg, Manitoba. Like you have to plug your car in to even like start your car and you came here.
Jessica Papineau: You must've had a reason [00:48:00] and it didn't work out for you. Why don't you give me a try? To help you. What do you really have to lose at this point? I mean, it took all my courage to say this and she looked at me and she goes, well, all right, I guess so. And I get her in the fitting room, and she puts on, you know, all the clothes that I tell her to put on and she's resistant at 1st, because it was the very 1st outfit.
Jessica Papineau: I put her in. It was fitted clothing. And I put her in this like monochromatic and I can't remember if it was like navy blue or was black and she comes out and she looks in the mirror, and I see her eyes go to where she doesn't like on her body. And she's like, I don't know. She's fidgety. She looks uncomfortable.
Jessica Papineau: And I said, just wait. And I grabbed this long duster sweater that just kind of skims her body, but you could still see the fitted clothes. Right. And then I took a long necklace and I put the long necklace on her and then a belt. [00:49:00] And then I gave her the shoes and she's watching me looking like, I don't know.
Jessica Papineau: She looks in the mirror and I see a switch. I see something shift in her. And it's like, She's looking at her body up and down in the mirror, and then she locks eyes with herself, and she immediately starts to cry. And I'm watching this and as a 16 year old kid, like I had so many insecurities myself. I didn't feel good about who I was.
Jessica Papineau: In fact, I felt superficial for loving fashion and beauty because of the upbringing that I had. And here's this woman, this successful woman. She was like an executive in this company. And I thought she has insecurity. And now she's crying and she looks over at me and she said, I never thought this was possible.
Jessica Papineau: But for the 1st time, I really feel pretty like, I really feel [00:50:00] beautiful. And that, that was it. That was it for me. Like, I knew. I denied it, you know, throughout the years later on and I rediscovered at 40, but I remember that knowing in that moment, but that's what I needed. That's what I was meant to do.
Kathy Washburn: Yes, indeed. You are that is wow, what a story and I can only imagine how many people experience that very thing. I know I have a million times and I often do this event shopping thing. Where I swear they can see me coming at Nordstrom's and they're just like, we got a live one, aisle two, she's going to spend whatever she needs to and it's that same thing.
Kathy Washburn: And I, I've always been convinced that those mirrors are. They have trick mirrors or something, because when I get home, I just [00:51:00] don't feel like I did in that one hot second, but having the ability or even the possibility to access your authentic self through fashion and, and use that. What a gift. Thank you.
Jessica Papineau: You're welcome. You're welcome. Can I talk about your desperate shopping? Can we just touch on that? Because I know that there are women listening right now and they're like, yes, I'm guilty. Guilty as charged. You know, the worst thing in the world you can do is go shopping desperately. And so what I'm really teaching women how to do is to shop in a very.
Jessica Papineau: Purposeful way to, like, have a plan right to be very intentional about the items that are being purchased. And this is why, you know, the women that I work with [00:52:00] typically will do, you know, like, a 3 month will work together to, like, really reset their wardrobe and set it up in a very successful way so that they can walk in their closet every single day.
Jessica Papineau: And no matter what. Their day is going to bring they have the outfit for it. And, but what I find we'll work together for three months and then they don't ever leave because they're like, I don't ever. And the ones that do, they come crawling back and they're like, I should never have gone rogue on you.
Jessica Papineau: Like, I mean, I started making poor decisions again, you know, when there's so much money wasted, so much money wasted, so much time wasted when you're not being intentional about your purchases, but also like, once you have the right pieces. Being able to be planned and set up for your day so that you can, like I said, walk in your closet and easily grab something.
Jessica Papineau: And so I'm very excited for you. And I to [00:53:00] dive into this, because I actually, with this process, I will have every article of clothing that you own, or that. You're going to keep and what we're strategically adding in, I will have a virtual closet for you of all of those items and we can literally, I literally plan your outfit.
Jessica Papineau: So you can go and just look, you'll just literally look on your phone or look on your computer and you're like, yep, there's my outfit. Just put it on.
Kathy Washburn: And I know because when we had the chat together, you had shared some work that you did with another client who was going away for the weekend. I don't remember what it was for, but reached out and said, Hey, I need some help.
Kathy Washburn: And you took what she already had created. Outfits maybe added some more in there, but it wasn't that desperate run to Nordstrom's. And I know I work, [00:54:00] I'm a positive psychology coach. I work with emotional health. I stood on a TED talk stage to tell people, do not make decisions when you're emotionally.
Kathy Washburn: And yet I, I, I still do it myself. It's natural to do that. And with the understanding that
Kathy Washburn: The outcome is very different when you're intentional and mindful. We do not make the same decision when we're coming at it from desperation and shame and fear as we do with joy and ease and feeling good in our bodies. So your work is helping people move forward. Even, even me who puts stakes, my claim on emotional health, they'll see, Oh, wow.
Kathy Washburn: I didn't realize that it was hanging out over there also. So I can't wait to work together. Yes. We're going to
Jessica Papineau: have so much fun.
Kathy Washburn: Yes. [00:55:00] And I will probably have to have a follow up because I know many of my friends that are listening to this, especially they're going to want to know what point a and Z looked like.
Kathy Washburn: Is there anything else you want to share with the audience? We'll have contact information in the show notes, but anything.
Jessica Papineau: Yeah. Well, I'll just share a little bit about how I work with clients. How about that? I've been working one on one with clients for the last five plus years. And we've, the company's grown to about 600 clients and that's just been me working with them.
Jessica Papineau: I mean, I have a team, but they're, you know, they're not the frontline. And so I've learned, you know, I want every woman. To feel amazing in her clothes. I want every woman to feel worthy of putting articles of clothing on her body that she feels beautiful in that she can feel confident and our high [00:56:00] performing woman can really go out there and.
Jessica Papineau: Truly live within what they desire and share their gifts and feel joy. And so I realized I can't help every woman. So how am I going to change this or expand my business model to be more inclusive? And so we actually have a styling app that's going to be launching very, very soon. Or. We've been working on this for the last couple of years, and I have a digital course that will be housed within this app.
Jessica Papineau: It's basically an 8 module course of, you know, how to go through my entire process that I started to describe to you. And how to do this for yourself. And that's a 1 time purchase. And then, you know, the next level of service that I offer is a community within this app of like minded women, the high performers that really.
Jessica Papineau: You know, would [00:57:00] like some additional help, additional assistance where we'll dive deeper into each module of the course, there'll be live demonstrations, live Q and A's, breakout sessions, where we'll, we'll do some really fun stuff, bring in guest expert speakers not just in the fashion world but really as that high performing woman, I've curated her group of, you know, experts that she really wants to learn from.
Jessica Papineau: You know, whether that be coaching, you know, leadership, coaching mindset, , all kinds of really cool, cool things to learn about. And then, you know, really that top level what I'm doing currently now. And I carry here actually in my home and I don't know any other that does this, but we have a.
Jessica Papineau: Full inventory studio boutique where I work one on one with my clients here in studio. And then also virtually, share the inventory that I have that really [00:58:00] lines up with, with the needs and sending style boxes. So you're going to be getting style boxes. I'm so excited, but anyway, I wanted to share that.
Jessica Papineau: And then anyone that really desires to level up. Their fashion and really is at a transition point in their life where they want to step into their power. They want to imagine something better for themselves, and they really want help with this. I do offer a free styling call, so I believe you have that link as well.
Jessica Papineau: But if they go on CSJ styling dot com, they can. You know, get that, gather that information and also gather the free download that you received of, you know, how to edit your wardrobe. And then and also follow me, follow me on social media. At the Jessica Papineau on Instagram customized styling by Jessica on Facebook, and then I'm also on YouTube, all the platforms I try to give as much much free content as I can.
Jessica Papineau: But thank you so much for, for letting me share all that. I [00:59:00] really believe every woman deserves this.
Kathy Washburn: And I believe there's a whole lot of women. furiously scribbling right now. And I want you to know if you're listening, you can also hit the show notes and all of that will be on there, the contact for Jessica.
Kathy Washburn: And we will definitely announce definitely on Instagram when that app becomes. Comes live because I know I will be hopping on it. I have one last question for you. If you were to crush up your essence and put it in pill form, what effect would you have on someone taking that?
Jessica Papineau: Oh, well, whoever is taking my pill better buckle up.
Jessica Papineau: Because I actually I knew you were going to ask this question. And so I told my husband and my community director that's been with me for the last couple years. I told them you were going to ask me that question and they both did. Burst into laughter. They're like, Oh my gosh. So my [01:00:00] pill will literally catapult you every single day to be the best version of yourself.
Jessica Papineau: You might be a little jittery. You might feel a little crazy, but it is a wild ride and you're going to have so much fun. And it probably is a controlled substance. So watch out.
Kathy Washburn: I cannot wait to take that pill. I think we start at the beginning of August. I, my partner, I was telling him about it and he is so excited to watch.
Kathy Washburn: When I first met him, he had already done his due diligence on me. So he saw the version of me that I was putting out into the world that I've been trying to step into. So that's who he showed up seeing, which was very jolting. I thought, wow, didn't know anybody read any of that stuff, but he's so excited for me to step into that, that shell and really, and really support me and being that version of me.
Kathy Washburn: So I, like you said, we need to invest [01:01:00] in other people to help us. We don't have all the tools. We were all put on this earth. To do different things. We were meant to be working with one another, and I'm so grateful that you are sharing your genius with the world. And I can't wait to be part of it.
Jessica Papineau: Thank you so much, Kathy. And, and thank you for having me as your guest today.
Kathy Washburn: We'll do it again. I'm sure. Yes. I wish you well, my friend.
Jessica Papineau: Thank
Kathy Washburn: you.
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