How to Share Love During Challenging Times with Jackie Rainford Corcoran
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This is an interview with Jackie Rainford Corcoran on the topic of what Barbara Fredrickson calls Love 2. 0. Full disclosure, this is an interview that we did for a course I designed on emotions during COVID. I'm digging it out of the archives , there is a self perception phenomenon called the end of history illusion in which humans tend to underestimate how much they will change in the future. This was determined from research done by Daniel Gilbert, a psychologist at Harvard, and many others. That involved more than 19, 000 people ages 18 to 68.
Gilbert shares, as we get older, we often look back on our teenage selves with some mixture of amusement and chagrin. What we never seem to realize is that our future selves will look back and think the very same thing about us. At every age, we think we're [00:01:00] having the last laugh. And at every age, we are wrong.
Because of this, I hope to instill the act of remembering who you were during COVID. Maybe the positive things that happened to our humanness during this time of struggle. Where we came together and helped one another out, and really, really missed being together. Especially as we drumroll towards the presidential elections here in the United States, in what feels like a persistent division mindset.
To counter that, this discussion about love is what brings humans together. It's my hope that it will help us shift from our fight flight division to the possibility to unite with openness and acceptance on a shared goal of dignity.
The second reason is the basic need for interconnected relationships.
Belonging starts with you. [00:02:00] It's really hard to be loving to other people when you are disconnected from yourself. You require an investment in yourself, in your time, energy, money, so that you can begin to align from the inside out with who you are, what you need, your values, and what's important. It's the antidote to burnout, overwhelm, and fear.
For the next 45 minutes, I invite you to receive love and enjoy the conversation where Jackie and I intentionally share the love. May this podcast be a catalyst for you to become the better version of you, just bursting to step forward.
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Kathy Washburn: Hello, Jackie. How are you today? I'm doing really well. Thank you. Jackie and I met probably ten years ago. In Big Sky, Montana, where she was an artist in residence at a dude ranch that I went to with my, my family celebrating my 10 years being cancer free
Jackie Rainford Corcoran: I think so.
Kathy Washburn: Yeah, it was 10 years, I think, at that point, or maybe it was, no, gosh, when I first met you, it was my five year anniversary with my family, and then, years passed and I felt [00:04:00] like my cancer survivorship was starting to, my lens was starting to get cloudy again.
And that first five years were, I was crystal clear as to, where I wanted to spend my time, what I was doing. I was very purposeful in my eating and nourishing my body. And somewhere along the line, I started just falling back into old habits. So in my own way of inspiring myself, I always find that if I'm doing something for others, It inspires me.
So I sent a note out to 20 of my friends, most of whom helped me incredibly when I had cancer and said, Hey, here's this book. Pick two things. It was like a Girl Scout book where you earned badges, pick two things and if you accomplish them in the next year, you will go on an all expense paid [00:05:00] trip to be determined.
And 13 women. Answered the call and they did things like my mom learned how to swim, another friend started doing artwork, a couple of other people traveled to places that they'd always wanted to travel. But then we all came together and And we went back to the Dude Ranch in Big Sky, Montana.
And there was Jackie, who was so graciously offered her time to actually help this group of 13 to find their little artist's way. And we had a painting session. And it was So people still talk about you. In fact, one of the women, Dina, is now a very successful artist. I should send you her work, but it all started in that room in Big Sky, Montana.
So, I know you as an artist, but I also know you as a [00:06:00] coach. And I've been coached by you personally, and it's been remarkable and eyeopening. So that's how I know you. Where would you like to fill in the gaps there?
Jackie Rainford Corcoran: Well I, I just want to, in case anyone's wondering what the Dude Ranch is, it's Lone Mountain Ranch, and it is such a magical, special place, and hopefully will continue to be forever and ever.
It's magical, right? I mean, It is really magical. And just Big Sky in and of itself is just this really special, And filling in the gaps.
Jackie Rainford Corcoran: I am an artist. Artists who, when I started studying art, I became a personal trainer, which was an easy transition for me after I graduated from school with a degree in English Literature.
I moved to Big Sky from New York City, I worked in a bookstore for minimum wage, and I loved it. It was amazing. My dream job. It was a dream job. [00:07:00] I was a little jacked up on caffeine, a little too much, cause we had a little coffee bar in there, but it was, we had to order books and put books away on the shelves, it was divine.
Ugh. And in the, needing to support myself as an artist, I became a personal trainer, which was lovely, it gave me a lot of flexibility, it got me out of the studio and, you know, made me take a shower and wash my hair to present myself to other humans. And that worked really well. And after 15 years of personal training, and being an artist and teaching art, word on the street was that you can't out exercise a bad diet.
And I had training clients who I had worked with for five years, some who wanted to lose weight and were plateauing, getting stronger, but the weight wasn't coming off. And I was living in Montana, and I was a vegetarian. And people in Montana generally don't want to hear about vegetarian diets. And, in fact, maybe don't even want you to come over for dinner.
Like, that's [00:08:00] kind of the reality of it. And we were in a pretty liberal place in Montana. It's more of a college town, ski town. Bozeman college town, big sky being a ski town. And I thought, Oh man, you know, I need to find a nutritionist or a dietitian to send my clients to who are interested in weight loss.
So I didn't even know the difference between a nutritionist and dietitian. And I started interviewing people in the area to find out who, you know, I was on the same page with, who I trusted my clients with, and I was really coming up. Sure, you know, I met one lady who was recommending milk at every meal, and I was like,
really?
I don't know about that. And I thought, you know, I really don't want to go back to school. I don't want to take that Wednesday 7 a. m. class and deal with parking on campus and have a ticket on my car. Like, I could just imagine the worst case scenario. And then I found out about health coaching. And I was like, well, what is this?
And there's a [00:09:00] wonderful school online called the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. They're actually based out of New York city. It's a year long online program, 100 percent online. And I was just like, yes, it was the big full body. Yes. And then boom, of course, as the universe would have it. Everything just fell into place where there was never any like detour or maybe this isn't the right decision.
I fell so in love with health coaching That I didn't want to do personal training anymore So I just started giving my training clients to other co trainers who I knew would be You know, they'd be in very good hands with them and just transitioned into health coaching. And then I fell in love with it, you know, more and more deeply where it really is an art in and of itself, any kind of coaching and like being a painter, you never have it all figured out.
You know, there's always so much to learn and so [00:10:00] much space to grow, which really turns me on. It has even, you know, kind of gently nudged out my desire for now to be painting. You know, I make little watercolors and I still draw and doodle, but I'm just like really digging being a health coach, and I'm a holistic health coach.
So there is, you know, a lot of information around nutrition and it's, you know, So vitally important, but we really look at the whole picture. You know, what's going on in your relationship, your career, your communication, your, living environment, you know, do things feel cluttered or clear and, and. All of these things matter to our general overall health, and, and I care about, you know, the health of our country, and right now, it, it feels like we're in a, and when I say our country, I mean the United States, but really of the world, but U.
S. is always my, my [00:11:00] home. I think it's really easy to feel a lot of despair when we look at the state of the United States as far as health goes and all of the chronic diseases and how are we going to turn this around and all of the systems are really against turning it around. As Joshua Rosenthal, the founder of IIN says, instead of fitting in, we have to fit in.
it out, which is not an easy task. And so that's what I'm here for. Like it's, it's really like clear to me that that's my purpose to be here to help people, to be their best and healthiest selves in a system that currently does not support that and, you know. That's, I think, where love comes in,
Kathy Washburn: in a really big way.
Yes, that's a perfect segue. I am so excited to talk to you particularly about the topic of love, because every interaction I've ever had with you has always [00:12:00] felt so special.
Kathy Washburn: And when I started learning about this work of Barbara Fredrickson, who has been studying emotions, positive emotions, for 25 years, She talks about all of the emotions actually leading up to love, and at the same time, love encompassing all of the other positive emotions.
So, she talks about something which I just was kind of mesmerized by. She calls it Love 2. 0, which is the title of her book, which is really asking us to just lower the bar a little about this love thing. It's not this romance and chocolates and, whisking away. It's really every day in these micro moments of love that we.
Have in all of our interactions, which I feel like you embody You know, we had these 13 women there and they're all [00:13:00] coming at you from all different ends And by the way, these 13 women they didn't know each other before we got to that venue They are all people in different parts of my life. There are a couple that knew each other but for the most part They didn't know each other.
So, when you happened upon us, they were like school kids and we were all chatting and, and trying to find this, I don't know, it was just this teenager energy. And you just embraced us in this, such a loving way. You were so excited for the camaraderie that was growing. You weren't like, okay, everybody, Quiet down.
It's time to listen to me, but I feel that in your artwork that that hangs downstairs I should have had that as my backdrop So Barbara Fredrickson's work is really astonishing And she talks about the fact that it's not just being Romantically in love with someone that [00:14:00] the love can be shared with friends friends With co workers and even with strangers, which I think that's what I'm trying to say, that you embodied for me, do you agree with this definition of Barbara Fredrickson?
Jackie Rainford Corcoran: I, I would say yes, and. Oh, I love that, and, yes. But first, just to back up a little bit, there is a wonderful course online from edX, and it's out of UC Berkeley, and it's called The Science of Happiness. I want to say it's an eight week course, self paced. There's, that's how I got started. Aha, I think, I think that's how I know about Barbara Fredrickson.
Oh yes,
Kathy Washburn: because her work is very, very prominent in that, yes.
Jackie Rainford Corcoran: Wonderful course. If anyone's feeling like I need more happiness in my life, I highly recommend it. It's free, you can pay I think 50 bucks if you want a continuing education credit. It's awesome. It does take some time. I did it at a time when my husband was [00:15:00] out of town.
And so right now I, I, I think it might actually cause me a little stress to try to do it because you really want to put the time in for it. So if you are thinking about it, just make sure you have the space for that in your life. Yes. And I would say, you know, yes, absolutely. That it is this connection with other people and, and.
I don't know, Kathy, if this is happening near you in Boston, but one of the things that's happening here in Nelson is when we're, we're not on a, in a, we're at a stay at home order during COVID, but we're not on lockdown. I just spoke to a woman in Spain today and they are locked down. Like it's become very political.
If they walk out of their front doors, they will get fined. So it's a very different feel. Hmm. We're not on that, so I get to still go for a run, you know, and I'm mindful of the fact that, you know, I'm not out, I don't [00:16:00] know, whatever, it is what it is, I go out for fresh air, and I started seeing these little hearts pop up in people's windows.
And I was like, what, that's so sweet. What is that about? And then again and again, and then it eventually you could see because people started writing signs too, that the hearts were there for the frontline workers. And every time I see them now, it's like, feel the love. And there has been so many of those moments during this COVID crisis where I have just It's not like a single person doing a heroic thing.
It's like all of humanity. Like a lot of people who are, you know, like who are clients who are nurses or work as civil engineers have had this opportunity during COVID where they've really been able to step into these leadership roles. That they have been preparing for for a long time, weren't expecting it to happen the [00:17:00] way it did.
And I think that that similar thing has happened amongst humanity, where we have really like risen up and connected in our own way. An incredibly loving way that is so different than the movies we've been watching for the last how many decades about you know, there's going to be looting and fire smoldering in the streets and it's feels to me like the opposite of that like The love is just like having this opportunity to blossom and and the earth Is having this opportunity to blossom and maybe even you know in in You In the bigger picture of nature, it's that space that's created.
There is maybe even giving us this like resonance to, I don't know, raise our vibration is what I'm feeling. So in that way, yeah, I totally agree with Barbara's definition of it being this interconnectedness of love. That [00:18:00] is, a feeling that is universal, but then there's also the yes. And part I think is also that.
It's very important that we're connected. We're social creatures. No man is an island. We cannot live without being touched and loved. But there is also the opportunity to really tap into, I think, I believe, source energy, love, like at any time of day. Regardless of if we're going through a nasty divorce, if we're having a really hard time with our children, if we're, you know, You know, breaking up with a friend.
If something like that is happening, you know, we could do it right now. We can just sit here together and just, you know, kind of beam me up, Scotty, or, you know, download into me love. And it is like, it's right here for us all the time. So yeah, we do need these interconnected personal relationships, but it's also even [00:19:00] bigger than that.
It's like this universal energy. That regardless of our relationships with other people, and even ourselves, we have access to this other intelligence, this love.
Kathy Washburn: Ooh, that's, really powerful. And I'm thinking about tapping into that self and that larger energy. As a way of allowing us to then go out. You know, it's really hard to be loving to other people when you're disconnected from self love or with that larger energy.
And I do believe, to your point, that this has given us this opportunity. Quiet. And tap into that space. I, I've told a couple of people, I feel like I'm re greening my inner landscape because I finally, I'm not busy, busy, busy, doing, doing, doing, which really just left me, at the circle, I was kind of surfing, [00:20:00] you know, instead of diving deep into what I was doing.
And now I feel like I'm really diving deep and connecting to that energy. Fascinating. Thank you for pointing that out. Love, I think, is one of these words there's another emotion that I go through in this course, and it's awe. And I sometimes feel like awe and love are kind of thrown around, you know, oh, I love you, or gosh, that was awesome, you know, is, is a.
Cheeseburger really awesome. I don't you know, I think that's dumbing down awesome or when we're being Mindless in that fleeting. Yeah. I love you, you know versus really kind of tapping into Do you know what I mean? That, the deepness. So, with all emotions, one of the things that I work with people and I [00:21:00] repeatedly say in this course is, you, there has to be intent.
We have this negativity bias that we're born with. It's that part of our brain that very easily hangs on to the negative and allows the positive to just kind of wash away. Where Kansan says, We hold on a negative like Velcro and the positive we allow just to be Teflon. So this whole course is about being very intentional in these emotions and practicing, love in a very intentional way.
Kathy Washburn: And I see this connection between creativity and love. I see it for myself when I'm Doing something I really enjoy. I'm a scrapbooker, and when I scrapbook, I feel that same feeling of love. Do you have a, a similar relationship with creativity and love?
Jackie Rainford Corcoran: Yes, yes. Real [00:22:00] quick. I was doing a guided meditation.
I was listening to a guided meditation the other day and I'll just share she gave this wonderful, reason to be intentional. And it was, she said, imagine every day you open up your book and it's blank pages. And if you are intentional. You're writing in your book. It's your new chapter, your new day.
And if you don't write in your book and you don't have an intention, it's like you're just handing your book over and letting everyone else and everything else write your book for you. And that doesn't feel so good, right? Like, I don't want anyone
Kathy Washburn: else to write my book. Oh man, I think I gotta use that.
That's perfect. What a beautiful analogy.
Jackie Rainford Corcoran: I thought so too, and I'm trying to remember who it was. If I, if I find that guided meditation, I will share it with you to give credit to her. Because I'm sorry, I'm forgetting who it was.
Kathy Washburn: No
Jackie Rainford Corcoran: worries. If you follow up, we can just include it in the notes.
Kathy Washburn: [00:23:00] Okay.
Jackie Rainford Corcoran: As far as love and creativity I would say, yes, those two things definitely, go hand in hand.
One of the things, Kathy, I don't know if when, I, I definitely wasn't the first time I met you doing this as a practice when we started, but maybe when you were out with your girls we did. One of the things that I noticed when I teach art classes or have, you know, art parties, canvas and cocktail type of things, Things is it's so easy to get into that story, that narrative of, I can't draw a stick person.
If I had a dollar for every time I heard that I would be a billionaire. Okay. Maybe not a billionaire. I haven't taught that many people to paint, but if I had 10 for every time I heard that I would be a billionaire. And we, as soon as we start getting into that narrative it stresses us out. You know, we feel really vulnerable and we don't want to be seen.
I mean, it's kind of vulnerable anytime you approach a blank [00:24:00] canvas or a blank piece of paper, even if you're all by yourself, let alone doing it amongst other people. So we start throwing out these bad stories about ourselves, which makes us more stressed. And when we release stress hormones, it literally narrows our vision.
So imagine we're driving down the street, a deer jumps in front of the car, stress hormones kick in. We want our vision to be like, single pointed focus. I don't care about that pretty little dogwood tree over there. I need to see where that deer is. And when we have that kind of focus, we don't have space for creativity.
And so we need to let that stress go. So what I do now when I'm teaching art parties, which I haven't for a year, but I was doing it a lot for several years and teaching painting for many years, is I ask that we appreciate that love is the highest vibration. Arguably, I think it is. [00:25:00] And creativity is just underneath that, not far down at all.
And when we speak negatively about ourselves, not only do we drop that vibration down, which will affect our creativity that we put onto the paper, but it drops the vibration of the whole group, of the whole room. And we need to really be mindful that the energy that we bring into Has big impact on other people.
Like we have to be responsible for that, even though it's another layer of like stuff to do. And when we speak about it in that way, people hold each other accountable. to it. So someone will start getting, you know, kind of passive aggressive with themselves and, and making snarky, funny comments about it.
And then, you know, their neighbors will often say like, no, you know, we're not doing that now. You know, your work looks beautiful. You are beautiful just like you are. [00:26:00] And so we have to, I think, To be creative, let go of that negativity, bias, maybe, which is no small task and, and just be okay with, you know, being vulnerable and letting come what may and not judging, you know, not having the critic as Elizabeth Gilbert Ypres Love.
She talks about in her book, the one on creativity, I'm forgetting the name of it now. She says, the inner critic can come along for the ride, but it does not pick out the music, and it does not drive the bus. It's got to get to the back, you know? Yeah,
Kathy Washburn: beautifully said. I, I've heard other people say that, You know, creativity is kind of innate love.
And so when you're dropping, you know, beating [00:27:00] yourself up and I've seen that before as a yoga teacher, I've, I've had to also mindfully share with the group that, you know, you are where you are, this is not a competition, because I used to have some clients that would just beat themselves up in a joking, but very self deprecating way.
And you're right, the energy, energy is reduced and it leaves them, less open to what is before them. Mm hmm. Perfectly said. So when I think about love, sometimes, again, sticking with that, that feeling that we let these things kind of wash past us, and tying it a little with, you know, Barbara Fredrickson's, understanding that we have micro moments of love throughout our day, all day long, that we can capture.
Is there a time that you remember where you felt or you [00:28:00] witnessed love in a way that you really held on to it and it actually changed you or maybe changed your trajectory in that moment?
Jackie Rainford Corcoran: Yeah, yeah. I think that, you know, the more I kind of get grounded in love every day. So my morning practice consists of waking up, getting on my hands and knees and saying to this space that I live in, thank you.
Just thank you for housing us last night and keeping us warm. And then I sit upright and I, I really do. I just imagine, I call in, you know, Guides to make sure I'm nice and safe and and and then I open up my crown Chakra and I just imagine that source energy love is just kind of like and fills my whole body up and so the more I Practice that kind and then and then even like fills me up so much that it fills up my space in my house And then my town, and then this new country I live in, and then the United States, and then I can [00:29:00] feel it like, boom, come all the way around the planet.
And it's just really an interconnected feeling to all of the other love that exists out there. Not just humans, you know, the dolphins, the trees, the birds, all of it. And the more I practice that, the more I have those micro moments of like, like, I have cried more during this COVID epidemic because of the love that I've seen.
Discussion with Jackie about Love: I
Jackie Rainford Corcoran: also stay away from the news. If I watched the news, I'd probably cry more on the other side of things.
Jackie Rainford Corcoran: So you know, I, I think the more we are Practicing that kind of connection to love, the more we have those and every time we have those, I think we're transformed a little bit, but I can tell you more specifically that I'll just give you a quick little background and share some personal information when I was growing up I was born [00:30:00] into a family of, I'll call them addicts, let's say, into a teenage mom and it was, It was weird, right?
And then my mom got remarried and once her and her husband had children, it was weird. It was like there was a shift in him. This doesn't happen with every step relationship, but it certainly did in our house where there was a real disconnect between me, the stepchild and him. And he became very, very verbally abusive more so when my mom wasn't around.
But he, His favorite word for me was worthless. You are worthless. And it was called stupid, and like, I mean, it was crappy. And my way of dealing with it was to like, paint on a happy face, and like, just keep on going, and trucking along, because I, I, that was my survival mechanism. When I was in college, I, I started studying literature and we [00:31:00] got into, you know, existential philosophy and literature and God is dead and I was just like, Oh my God.
I mean, I had the, for the first time in my life, I experienced depression. where we had a Christmas break and I just laid on the couch with C SPAN 1 and 2 on and couldn't move. And once I came out of it and had to go back to school, I was like, I think that was called depression.
That
sucked. That was really weird.
And after college, someone turned me on to Tony Robbins and he was quite young actually at the time. It was 1994 and he had a book, I think it's called Unlimited Power. And in it, he talks about NLP, Neuro Linguistic Programming. And he brought a lot of awareness to these stories that had been implanted in my head about how I was worthless.
I mean, I had terrible self esteem, terrible body image terrible relationship with money, because I was [00:32:00] worthless. And so therefore I should not even have money. It should be like zero dollars, right? And it was really manifesting in all of these ways that I couldn't put my finger on You know because there were other things that I was doing where I was successful and getting by but there was a lot of dark stuff going on under the hood and As I started to become aware of these stories and aware that you know, they were coming Crap, and not true, and not my stories, they were, like, planted in from someone else who was clearly, clearly hurting, and in pain, you know, his own kind of pain and suffering, which has taken me a long time to get to that place, though, forgive me for doing this.
I started having these like, oh, oh, it's okay. So the moment that I realized, like, I love myself, I have transitioned from self loathing to self loving, was when I ended a relationship with a, with a man, an intimate relationship that was really [00:33:00] harmful to me. You know, he, he wasn't being good to me. He wasn't talking to me.
He was, he was, mirroring my relationship with my stepdad. And it just kind of hit me like a ton of bricks one day. And I was like, I love myself and you can not speak to me that way. I also know now that people treat us the way we give them permission to. And so I had given him permission out of the gate.
In fact, I needed him to show up in that way, to be that mirror for me. And so again, you know, there's a lot of forgiveness there, but that was a real pivotal moment. And I'm not going to say that every relationship that I had after that, cause I kind of, you know, I moved to big sky and it's seasonal. So it was like every season you had a new boyfriend, like, Oh, someone's here from North Carolina.
Someone's here from Texas, whatever it was. Fun. I was in my 20s. And so I'm not saying that, oh, once I had that figured out, I was just attracting, you know, [00:34:00] Prince Charming. That wasn't the case at all. It was a process. But through each iteration, I kept, you know, this awareness of, I, I love myself and, and I will be with someone who reflects that back to me.
And, and I will wait till I, till I get there. And so that was. transformational entirely. Wow. And
Kathy Washburn: you were so young. I've had that similar transformation, but it was in my fifties. If you are having that, that awareness in your twenties, I think that's not going to say remarkable, but, I do believe that we have these things that come into our vision.
Like you had Tony Robbins. Somehow was set before you to help you with that key and you, if you're open to it, Like you were saying earlier, if you're not living in this fight or flight where your vision is so [00:35:00] narrowed, you start to see these opportunities to look at things a little different and unlock some doors that might have been closed.
Good for you, 20s.
Jackie Rainford Corcoran: It's funny that you say, and I would say it was into my thirties that I was still processing, so it wasn't like, you know, I was 22 and boom, you know, had it, this is not a magic pill. Yeah, right. And, and you, you use the phrase being open to it. And it was funny because someone gave me this book by Tony Robbins and I was like, This is some kind of self help guru bullcrap, like, uh uh, I don't do that.
I read fiction.
That's
Kathy Washburn: so funny, but something in you opened it.
Jackie Rainford Corcoran: Yeah, yeah, I can still recall it sitting at the bedside and, and, you know, maybe it was even that, you know, it was his face. Like, he's like big head on the cover and he's smiling and there's something that, you know, He has a, he has a pretty big impact on a lot of people's lives.
I'm very grateful for him.
Kathy Washburn: Yes, and [00:36:00] he's very charismatic. Yeah, but I really appreciate your associating that with self love.
Kathy Washburn: And again, I, I come back to this feeling that self or that love outward It's really hard to do when it's not coming from inside and you referred to in your practice a version of the loving kindness meditation, which I'm so happy that that is one of the repercussions of this environment that we live in right now.
More people know what loving kindness meditation is than ever before. It's being practiced, in all different circles. And it's, it warms my heart to see and I use it a lot as a practice to help me with forgiveness. You know, to hold people that I'm struggling with and wish them well. Wish them peace, wish them health [00:37:00] and not suffering.
And then move on. move on to the bigger group, to share that element of love. It's, I might take some pages from your morning practice. I love the fact that you just roll out of bed and go on all fours, because that's kind of how I feel lately. Every joint in my body, I feel like I just need to go on all fours and stretch my body in different ways, and it's because I'm sleeping so much.
I don't, I've never had a problem sleeping, but I really feel that I'm sleeping more as it's the way my body's processing what's going on around me. And I really need that time to just regenerate on multiple levels. So I finally gave myself the permission to, it's okay to wake up at seven instead of five 30, even though it feels like it's noon
Discussion with Jackie about Love: compared to
Jackie Rainford Corcoran: five
Discussion with Jackie about Love: 30, five 30.
Jackie Rainford Corcoran: Yeah. That's such wonderful synchronicity. As you know, since COVID, I've [00:38:00] been doing this little wake up call at Corcoran Health, my Facebook group. And I just go on and I say, okay, we're going to breathe together for a minute. And what are you grateful for today? And what's your intention for today?
And Kathy, I don't know what came up yesterday, but the loving kindness meditation came up and I thought, Ooh, I'd really like to bring that into the Wake up call. And this morning, and I had a sticky on my computer, loving kindness meditation. And this morning I was like I'm not sure exactly how to do it.
I mean, we practiced it in the science of happiness course, and I've heard about it before in other meditation groups, but I tabled it. I said, I'll just get back to this on Monday when I feel, you know, sure about it. But that that's, that's definitely coming up for me too. So yeah. So
Kathy Washburn: you're, you're just gathering the energy of.
That vibration level where everybody's trying to bring it along. I It's [00:39:00] a really it's a beautiful practice that I have found Very grounding as i'm walking in the street I'll even do loving kindness to strangers that are walking by you. May you be well, may you be healthy May you be free from suffering as as kind of a walking meditation When i'm feeling all anxious just be kind It's anxiety ridding when you're walking down the street and everybody's covered in masks, so sometimes it just triggers me and that loving kindness is a way of equalizing that, that feeling.
I don't know, it's a good practice. I have so enjoyed our time together. I have one last question for you, and it is, if I were to crush you up and put you in a pill, what What effect would you have on someone?
Jackie Rainford Corcoran: Oh, that's the best question
Well, you know, it's funny i'm from new jersey that's where I grew up I went to college in new york city So I feel like in my [00:40:00] dna I have this like kind of like really ramped up energy And now being here in canada people are you know I lived in montana for 20 years where people are way more laid back in the rockies here in canada They're even way more laid back than there.
So I feel like I, I walk away from conversations sometimes going like, God, I'm like,
and to my surprise, People have said to me repeatedly. Oh, you have such a, a calming presence and I'm like really are we talking about two different people because I'm always like am I just completely overwhelming and like supercharged because that's how I I feel. And so I'm thinking if you crushed me up and you swallowed me, you would feel a calming, grounding presence.
This is based on feedback I have given. What I also hope [00:41:00] You would feel is an effervescence, just a lightness and a bubbling up at the same time. Somehow like really being okay with that duality of grounding and bubbling at the same time.
Kathy Washburn: Jackie, I could not have put it more perfectly. I have experienced, I've taken that pill and I've had that feeling and I love the word effervescent.
Brilliant. I am going to share your contact information with our community and a couple of things that you had mentioned, the science of happiness class. Is there anything else you would like our, Our community to know any upcoming stuff or,
Jackie Rainford Corcoran: You know, one more thing that I, I wanted to touch on because, because of something that you said earlier, and that's been on my mind a lot lately.
And [00:42:00] so, as you know I love, and I did a TEDx talk in 2017. Yes, I'm going to, I'm going to put that on. I had eight minutes to give a talk on how. I mean, it was my topic, but I had eight short minutes to talk about the topic of how the U. S. could become the healthiest country in the world by 2040. And I am more optimistic about that happening now than ever, because one of the things COVID has done for our country is it has let us see massive cracks in our systems.
In our education systems, in our health systems, in our food systems. And, I'll be forever grateful to have had the experience of being alive in this time. I really think that we are, like, we're, It feels a little bit like we're, like, coming out of the dark ages into a renaissance. And, I love working with people and this is in the TEDx talk.
I believe that fundamentally, if we get in [00:43:00] touch with what our purpose is. We are more inclined to take care of ourselves. We are more able to fit out because we have that confidence in ourselves that we are living on purpose, that we don't have to just fit in and be asleep. Right. And recently oh, I'm reading Marianne Williamson's A Return to Love.
And she said something that really rocked my world when I was reading the other day. It's also part of my morning practice. I'll, I'll share with you guys real quick. So hands and knees, child pose, thank you house, fill up with love after my guides are in, and then set the timer for ten minutes and read a book that is spiritually significant to me and then I journal and I journal to my CSO, my chief spiritual officer, [00:44:00] and this is a book that I got that idea from her name is Kay McCarthy, and it's like a spiritual path to wealth or something like this.
And she's, she talks about having your chief spiritual officer, and you know, really surrendering and knowing that you are in good hands, so you can feel safe and have trust that you're moving forward. And there's some more dualism, like free will, totally surrendering, how does that all work? And so one of the things that So in my 10 minute reading of A Return to Love, Marianne Williamson said, your purpose is to return to love.
And I was like, yeah, she nailed it. Because every time I do a personal purpose statement, it's a worksheet that we work through that you and I have had the opportunity to do together. What we find at the heart of People's personal purpose, and you don't have to look really hard to find it, is love. Like, [00:45:00] It might look like love.
I show up and I help people organize their homes. It might look like love. I show up and I'm a life coach. Whatever that is, but love is at the base of it. So, yeah, I, I, I think that in finding our personal purpose, it's really important, but know that it doesn't have to be, you know, this big hairy audacious goal.
It's just returning to love. And that's not that hard to do other than breaking habits and changing narratives and letting those things go. It's more of a letting go than an adding on, I think.
Kathy Washburn: Oh, what a beautiful way to end this. conversation. I think that is there's a lot of people wondering what their purpose is.
I think this is an opportunity. It's kind of shaken the foundation a little in a lot of people's lives and, and really figuring out how to reconnect with, with humanity internally, externally. So this is a, [00:46:00] this is a perfect time for that work.
Kathy Washburn: And I love I love that it is all about love.
Jackie Rainford Corcoran: Yes, and then one more thing.
This is what happens when you and I talk at it like And then and oh, it's so juicy and and you said shaking us and and really it does feel like you know with the leadership in The states and the cracks and the systems. It's like We are You know how it's so hard to get out of your bed in the morning?
It's like, it's so yummy here. Oh, it's like cold floor and I don't want to do that. But we do it, right? We like force ourselves to get up and then we get on with the day. And this is like, we're coming out of this slumber. And it feels like this experience, this weird experience that we're having now. It's like the universe is shaking us and it's saying, no, you cannot press the snooze button again.
No, no. Wake up, wake up. And it's not stopping. [00:47:00] It's like continuing to shake us. And so it's like, bing, bing, bing, bing, like consciousness is just like, ah, it's so good. It's so
Kathy Washburn: good. It is good. It is good. Thank you for giving us this optimistic view. I think this has been, a beautiful hour or so together.
And I look forward to working with you more and seeing your beautiful face and sharing this with my community, with this community. Thank you so much, Jackie. You're
Jackie Rainford Corcoran: so welcome. I adore you and therefore I adore your community as your extension. So thank you.
Kathy Washburn: Love you.
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