Ep. 35 – Overcoming Imposter Syndrome with Dr. Corey Winn
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Speaker: In this episode, we talk with Dr. Corey Winn, a doctor of physical therapy and a peak performance strategist. Our conversation circles around imposter syndrome and is summed up in a great quote that Dr. Winn shared from Ronnie Ware in the book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. The quote goes like this, I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself.
Not the life others expected of me. The good thing is we don't have to go to the grave with this regret. Thanks to the skills of humans like Corey that help us to use the power of neuroplasticity to help us learn how to find validation from within, and help us understand how to move past limiting beliefs so that we can move toward the change we wish to be while we are still here on this [00:01:00] earth.
May this podcast be a catalyst for you to become the better version of you just bursting to step forward.
Kathy Washburn: Hello, Dr. Corey Winn. Welcome, welcome. Thank you. It's so
Dr. Corey Winn: glad to be
Kathy Washburn: here. Oh, it's so nice to have you. I often introduce my guests as how I know them. I haven't worked with you directly, [00:02:00] but you come in a mad connection with somebody I had on the podcast earlier, Jessica Papineau. And Elise Archer, we have this little web that we're forming of, of really powerful women.
And I'm so excited to have you. You are a doctor of physical therapy. and a peak performance strategist. I love that, even the sound of that. And you host your own podcast called Empower Her Radio a podcast for healthcare moms who want to break free from limiting beliefs, build unshakable confidence, and step into the truest expression of themselves.
I can't imagine a most. more fitting guests to have on this podcast. I would like to just open up the floor for you to add anything else. Tell me if you're working [00:03:00] on something special or anything else about yourself.
Dr. Corey Winn: I'm a wife and a mom as well. I have a nine year old daughter and I have two amazing bonus kiddos who are grown and out of the house, a 25 year old daughter and a 23 year old son.
So life can be busy. I've got two dogs. And, I think one of the biggest things that I love to help my clients with is relearning to trust themselves. You know, so often the women I work with have Checked all the boxes. They went to school. They got married. They have the career that they always dreamed of.
They, you know, Have the 2. 5 kids and the white picket fence and then we all find ourselves I think I can speak for many of us. We sort of wake up one day and look around and think is this it? We're at the top now. This isn't quite what I thought it was gonna look like or Or why does this not feel fulfilling anymore?
So opening [00:04:00] that door to validate those feelings
Speaker 3: and
Dr. Corey Winn: help them gain clarity in the next step, the next path. Is it a complete pivot? Is it just. Maybe a sidestep.
Kathy Washburn: Oh, I love that. You also mentioned that you're a neuro PT. I'm a total neuroscience geek and I've never heard a neuro PT. Will you tell me what that is?
Dr. Corey Winn: So I don't have my neuro specialty. There is a specific specialty that you can go back and get but most of my career I worked in outpatient with patients with Parkinson's disease or Parkinsonism. As well as spinal cord injury and then like neck and back issues. So it's more just my love. My uncle had a spinal cord injury when he was 16.
So I grew up around wheelchairs, racing wheelchairs, wheelchair, basketball, all sorts of things. And now he's in his 70s. So. In the PT world, I specialize in [00:05:00] wheelchair seating evaluation and assessment and helping patients get their equipment in the right way in a timely manner. And that's That's my PT love.
And I hope to one day have a nonprofit to help patients get the equipment above and beyond what their insurance will pay for, because so much more is needed when you, when you find yourself in a situation where you need a wheelchair. And then on my coaching side, I am in the process of launching a few different courses.
Dr. Corey Winn: On mom guilt and mental load and imposter syndrome and, you know, releasing perfectionism. So there's a lot of balls in the air right now, but lots of exciting things happening.
Kathy Washburn: think that's, that's where you and I intersect. I think we work with a similar population. work with women who identify with type C behavioral patterns [00:06:00] and this, this People that have been listening to this podcast know that this stems from the work of Lydia Tamaschuk.
And there's a lot of very similar, behavioral patterns like that, imposter syndrome, perfectionism. And I did not come from that background. to this work by mistake. That, that was me. I completely identify with type C behavioral patterns. And as you were explaining, I remember I have two sons, they're now 28 and 29.
They're within 20 months of each other. And I, when they were younger, I was a senior executive at an investment firm. I lived in a beautiful house, had the beautiful life, but inside I was just suffering greatly and did not have an outlet. I did not feel that I had an outlet even amongst the women.
I think we were all trying to keep this brave face on, [00:07:00] like, Oh no, look away. I'm good. Life's good here. Don't look at me people, show's over. But you talk about on your website, I was looking at this idea of the need to seek external validation, and self doubt and low levels of anxiety. I would love it if you'd be willing to share your own personal story about how this all came to be for you and the person that you serve.
Dr. Corey Winn: Yeah. You know, I don't think I realized until I was an adult that what I had suffered from my whole life was anxiety. And I remember my mom asking me a few years ago, she said, why didn't you come and tell us? Why didn't you come and tell us you were suffering so much? And I thought, I was a kid. I didn't, I didn't know.
And you know, my parents are amazing people, but I went back by myself to visit them a couple of years ago and I started to figure it out. You [00:08:00] know, I held myself in this perfect box. You know, I had to follow this line. I had to do it this way and I could never figure out why that was, but I went back home and I grew up in the South.
And, you know, there's expectations of how you present yourself and how you show up in the world. And I remember, you know, my parents judging every single person who walked by what they were wearing, how they were acting, how they were presenting themselves, the car that they, I mean, everything. And as an adult, I thought that's it.
It wasn't that they ever told me this is how you must be. It was, These are all the things you should never be, you know, the the jobs that were appropriate, the way that you were going to go. And so I followed this line my whole life. And, also. Always heard from my parents. Hey, you're doing a great job.
We're [00:09:00] proud of you. So it, it was this, I've got to do perfect, but am I doing it the right way? Am I, am I going in the right direction? Okay. They're, they're still good.
Dr. Corey Winn: And it wasn't until probably three or four years ago that I really recognize the level of external validation that I required because somebody really close to me really.
tore down my confidence completely and just kind of said, you're not somebody who I would come to for mentorship or coaching advice. That's just not. And I thought, oh my gosh. And it broke apart this very strategically planted house of cards that I had been holding together. And I thought, what am I doing?
She's right. I can't do this. Who's going to come to me for advice. Who's going to come to me for advice. I remember thinking, why is this affecting me so much? And then [00:10:00] you spoke of Elise Archer. I listened to her speak one day and she spoke about, I'll talk about this a little bit more later, but Brony Ware has a book called the top five regrets of the dying.
And the number one regret is not having the courage to live the life that you are meant to live. And instead living the life that what others feel you should and I remember her speaking about that and saying that she had this epiphany one day that no one was going to give her permission to step out and do that big thing.
Nobody was going to tell her. Hey, you've got it. You've got a good thing going. You're doing a good job. And I thought. She's right. I'm the only one who's going to give myself permission to step in. I'm the only one who's going to be the person who I meant to be. And that is letting go of what anybody and everybody else has to say about me or their thoughts or their opinions, because they don't matter.
And being able [00:11:00] to really step into that space of, Truly understanding that the people who are meant to be in your life, the people you are meant to serve will be here and the people that aren't will step aside and being okay with that is a whole new level of power.
Kathy Washburn: It's so true. You remind me, I, I had an interview with a dear friend of mine, also her name is Elise.
It's Elise Bish. And she talks about the, the need of belonging can keep us loyal to disconnecting with ourselves. And you just described it beautifully, what her whole what our whole talk was, which was. This need of belonging to that family of origin kept you disconnected from who you really were, because if you changed, then that [00:12:00] environment might not accept you when really you A, it doesn't matter, B, it's your birthright to be who you are, and you are worthy without performance.
And those things are so important to, to embody, and it's a really hard thing to, I mean, it's, it's one thing to read it and think like, yes, I totally get what you're talking about. But when you're from the world. And you spoke about this, we talked a little bit before we came on air, but this idea of growing up in an environment which was really emotionally dysfunctional.
A generation that did not know how to emote healthily. And I grew up in a very similar one that you did. There was a lot of judging outside and even kind of going back to my family of origin. [00:13:00] It's really challenging because that still exists. And I have to put this little invisible egg and just hit, let it hit me and send it back with love.
I can't help but think of, there's an Eleanor Roosevelt quote and she says like, great minds discuss ideas. Mediocre minds or average minds discuss events and small minds discuss people. And It's not, that's not a, that's not a harsh negative to my parents or your parents. It's just a matter of evolution.
You know, we are becoming more emotionally, intelligent just by way of our access to information. And and we can change no matter how old we are. I have an 80 year old client who just does not want to go to the grave with this emotionally suppressed self. She wants to learn how to emote. She doesn't want to come back and do this [00:14:00] again.
She says. Huh. Huh. And then, you know, when I'm with my mom, her favorite chant is, you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Like, but you can, mom. Neuroscience says it's so. So it's so beautiful to know that there's people out there like you, like myself, like Elyse that are doing things to help people really understand that they are worthy without performance and that your superpower is your superpower and you can put those wings on at any time and begin to fly.
Kathy Washburn: I think one of the things that help us do that is being around the right people or gathering new people, maybe, And one of the, one of the things that you talk about a lot, which we didn't, I didn't have the word for this when I was in my 25 year [00:15:00] investment career, but imposter syndrome. And I want to get your take on something.
What is the relationship between self doubt and imposter syndrome? Ooh,
Dr. Corey Winn: somebody who has a psych background might be a better. better equipped to answer that piece of it. But for me, I had never heard imposter syndrome until Three or four years ago, I was at a conference and the woman on stage was talking about how she'd been asked to speak.
And the immediate thought was, I have no expertise. Who would want to listen to me? And, and totally invalidating the fact that she not only had the education, she had the expertise, she had the training, she had the skill. And imposter syndrome goes so far as to. Not only doubting yourself, but worrying that the external world is going [00:16:00] to figure out that you're a fraud and show that to the world.
So for me, when I first heard that, I thought, Oh my gosh, that's how I felt half of my life. I mean, you introduced me. I have my doctorate. I went to four years of undergrad, three years of graduate school. I've been a PT for over 14 years. And Now a coach in the health coaching world and now in the transformational world and even still Sometimes somebody will say hey, I want you to come speak at such and such and my immediate reaction is I'm me And now at least I'm able to step back and say why not me move forward, but it's interesting despite all the personal development work that I've done, that that's still the first reaction that comes.
So I hope to work with my clients too, to be able to give themselves grace that you may be able to speak more to this than I can. [00:17:00] You may not be able to change that immediate thought, but with practice, you can figure out how to react to it differently. And I think that's part of why I loved. Neuro so much as a PT because of neuroplasticity, you know, people with spinal cord injuries can walk again, people with strokes can rewire and get their cognition and their speech back.
And it wasn't until really recently that I thought, well, of course that can work with thought too. Why couldn't it?
Kathy Washburn: Yes, I, I work with, I'm, I'm a certified coach with positive intelligence, which is Charizard Charmaine's, work. And if you've never done it, if you go to positive intelligence. com, you can take a saboteur test.
Okay. Which is the, I think that there are 12 different saboteurs and it, it orders your saboteurs. We all have a little of all of them, but it orders them so that you [00:18:00] can start identifying when that chatter is happening. And like my top two are people pleasing and avoider. The two don't work well in that instance, like you were talking about where somebody asked me to speak.
And I'm like, Me? Why me? And I will avoid at all costs. I will wash the the bathroom floor with a toothbrush before I respond to this opportunity because I'll find a thousand different things to do instead. Until I, I worked with Shirzad and I've gone through his program. And I still do it to this day.
And it's really identifying the judge when it happens, you know, hearing that voice and almost being playful, like, Oh, I was waiting for when you were going to show up because that self confidence, like the self worth element that comes [00:19:00] with the doubt. There's this, there's this dance between self confidence and self worth.
Sometimes I can feel really confident, but I have no worth and self confidence without self worth actually was what limited my possibilities because, and like you're talking about with the brain, because it was painful for me to think if I failed, like, That was too painful. So my brain's like, Oh no, don't take that risk because you don't want the pain associated with losing your self confidence.
So I just kept myself small and realizing that, I was afraid to take risks. because I was afraid of being rejected. It's that other's directedness which always keeps us fragile and vulnerable. But when [00:20:00] we have that strong core of self worth, we're way more resilient. And I heard you use those words like, Yeah.
What other people think of me? None of my business. It doesn't matter. And when you start to shift that, which feels like you're moving a mountain, unbelievable things can happen. It's kind of crazy. Right? Gosh. And it's, It's way easier than people believe it is because it really is the chatter in the head
Dr. Corey Winn: and I think to something that I needed to acknowledge was the grieving process because I grew up in a huge family huge family That was very Separated by socioeconomic status.
You know, one side was rather wealthy. One side wasn't. And I was right in the middle. Didn't have any brothers or sisters. So you were talking earlier about belonging was like, I don't belong in any of these situations and, you know, [00:21:00] didn't really. Relate as well as I would have hoped to to either side. And you know, that's not to say I don't have some very close members of my family who I love dearly, who I, you know, want to see every day, but we don't live in the same state.
But there was definitely a grieving process to really sit back and think, okay, of the people in my life, friends, family, co, you know, coworkers, co workers. Professional colleagues, whatever, who is pushing me forward and who is not and letting the ones go who weren't, it was hard.
Speaker 3: And it
Dr. Corey Winn: was a balancing act of at first feeling like, Oh, you're better than them.
And that wasn't it at all. And really coming to terms with, you know, we can bless and release, we can love and let go, whatever you want to say. I don't love any of those people any less. We're just going in a different direction and I heard I [00:22:00] think it was David Ray say on a podcast I was listening to several months ago.
He said something to the effect of The person who has been where you're going is not going to judge you the person who's not going there is the one who's gonna judge you the person who's been there is gonna reach down and Pull you with them and say hey Let's go. This is how I did it. This is where we're going.
I'm with you all the way. And I, I thought that that was so profound because that's really a lot of times what happens. The person who isn't pushing the envelope, isn't breaking down doors, isn't going big places. That's where the fear comes from. Oh, that's not secure. Are you sure? Even I, I love my father dearly.
He, he worked hard his entire life. He just recently retired. But when I mentioned pivoting away from PT, I mean, it was he was fearful for me. He was like, you would [00:23:00] leave, she would leave a secure job with benefits. He was so scared. And I said, yeah, but dad, that. Avenue doesn't light my soul on fire anymore.
And, and you could sort of see that generational, like, I don't care if it lights your soul on fire, it's a paycheck.
Kathy Washburn: What a beautiful example.
Dr. Corey Winn: You know, it's just, it's, it's, and I hope to also teach my daughter. Yes, you need to be able to take care of yourself, but does that have to be in a certain box?
Kathy Washburn: Yes, it's interesting what we're, what, how much more aware we are of what we're passing along than our parents were aware of that.
That's fascinating. So when clients come to you and, and, They're wanting to change. What I'm hearing from you is [00:24:00] there's a need to have a different, to be surrounded by a different group of people when you're going through change. And I, I talk about this in a different way. I call the new, the new crowd, your co pilots, cause they're helping you fly to that place that you want to go versus your ground crew.
Which often wants to keep you grounded and right there and they get a little scared of you changing because it might rattle the relationship. But what are some of the, some of the things that you do with clients to help them kind of make that shift and finding new, new humans to be around?
Dr. Corey Winn: Huh.
One of the biggest things that I've noticed with my clients is They're at that place that's just beyond survival mode where they have come up for air and they're done. They're [00:25:00] done people pleasing. They're done being the victim of their situation. They're done being burned out.
Dr. Corey Winn: But they don't know where to go and they're like, okay, now I need a resource.
Somebody needs to help me. But what I recognize the hardest question that they have to answer is what do you want? Because as moms, you know, who, who has asked you that in the last? I mean, if you have a really little, not very long, maybe, but 10, 15 year olds, when was the last time somebody asked you that?
And the immediate reaction is like, well, my kids want, and my, my spouse wants, or my partner. And it's like, no, but what do you want? And they look at me like I have three heads. So it's this beginning validation of you can focus on yourself. You have wants and desires, even if you don't remember what they were.
And helping them figure out what those are. And then who in your world is emulating [00:26:00] that? Who do you follow? That's emulating what books are you reading? And really kind of rebecoming a horse with blinders on and only allowing in things that align with that path. Years ago, I had a mentor say that she didn't watch the news anymore, possibly not watch the news.
And now I don't watch the news anymore. I just, I don't allow anything in my space that is going to derail my thoughts, my feelings, my emotions, because it's so easy to go back where you were into that negativity, victim mindset. And I don't want to be there anymore.
Kathy Washburn: No, it doesn't serve us, does it?
Kathy Washburn: I, I had one mentor and I use her work a lot.
Her name's Alison Armstrong. She talks about values. And, so I, I do this whole. process with clients where they determine what their values are. [00:27:00] And it's very similar to what you said, when you ask clients what they want, they kind of look at you like, what, or the values are very similar. They're often very others focused.
I want to be loving, you know, that's loving to somebody else. I want to be cherished. Like there's, there's different words that they use are, attributing to this outside validation. So I use like values from James Clear from Brene Brown. I give them like a hundred of them and I ask them to the first day just circle the ones that resonate and it could be 40.
But just circle as many of them that pop out and the next day take from that 40 and narrow it down and narrow it down. So it's a seven day practice. And then we, we, Alison Armstrong says your values are where you [00:28:00] spend your time, energy, money, and resources. So then there's this distinction of like, how are you spent when you look at your calendar, where do you see those values pop up?
And there's this huge disconnect. And there's this, this is where this resentment comes in. They realize they're resentful to the people that they're helping or the people that they're loving that they're giving, giving, to because they have no time. To actually spend on the values that are important to them.
And, this realization is always tearful. It's this moment of meeting where they realize that their energy is so one sided. It's, Others directed, it's going from them out and the next big step is understanding [00:29:00] how to receive because people are waiting to love you back. They're wanting to love you back, but there's no reciprocal energy until you shift that whole idea of values, orientation, and I just, I feel like it's an epidemic, especially in the caring profession.
Kathy Washburn: So you work a lot with women and healthcare. Tell me, do you see that proliferation in that industry?
Dr. Corey Winn: Health, women in health care, I mean, men too, but I work mostly with women, but you think about go to your own doctor's office, go to physical therapy, go. The healthcare umbrella as a whole is unhealthy.
I was years ago, and especially healthcare workers who work night shift [00:30:00] because they're giving and they're giving and they're giving and they're giving and, I've worked with nurses, speech and language pathologists, you know, cover it all. And we do, we give and give and give and leave ourselves for last.
And teaching my clients to not only give to themselves, but give to themselves first, the wall comes down immediately. I mean, it takes a while of trust. To be able to say something like that, especially to a mom, because even in my generation, there's still this, this is the time I'm pouring out to my kids.
I'll take care of me later. That's still the, the, the viewpoint. And it's like, but if you don't take care of yourself now, you won't be the person, the mom that you want to be in every situation. And I heard, I can't remember [00:31:00] who said this, but not just to give from a full cup. But to give from the cup that's overflowing, give from the overflow, because that way you're grounded and you're filled up and you can show up as the wife, the mom, the PT, the coach, and whoever, but you have to focus on yourself first.
And even for me, that's hard. I mean, going and sitting to get my hair done or my nails done, I still am sitting there like, This is taking so long. I have things to do, but just being able to sit and be still and then help someone else.
Kathy Washburn: Hmm.
Kathy Washburn: So do you think it's, it's a self worth issue?
Dr. Corey Winn: I think it's a self worth issue. And I also think it's upbringing, you know, it took me a while because I watched my mom give and give and give my dad worked full time. But for when I was younger, it was like a rotating [00:32:00] shift. And so my mom was carpool and dance and dinner and all the things. I mean, she did it all.
And I never remember her doing much for herself other than getting a haircut. And when my daughter was probably five, there was such massive guilt. Why can't I, why do I feel overwhelmed? Why can't I do it all? My mom did it all. Why do I feel so guilty? Stretched. And then I finally realized that the disequilibrium, I don't know, imbalance, that I don't need to do it all.
But getting from the mom guilt that I couldn't to finally being okay and receiving help, it, it was a process. And that's that piece that I work with a lot of my clients on. And I think a lot of times, too, we automatically assume we can't afford a housekeeper, we can't afford a [00:33:00] babysitter, we can't afford this, that, or the other thing, whatever it is, until we actually look into it and go, Oh, that's not nearly as expensive as I thought it was going to be.
Or that doesn't take nearly as much time as I thought it would. So those types of things are where, where I see. the most difficulty. But I do, I do think what you said too is true. It is a self worth issue. And, and in that space of, well, I shouldn't need help. I should be able to do it myself and learning that
Kathy Washburn: you don't have to write, you don't have to.
And, I love the combination that you just, or that connection you just made with, with the self worth and the way that you were brought up. It's a lot of what I do. And is. teach people how to reparent themselves, just realize what they did not receive because the people that raised them were incapable [00:34:00] of providing it for whatever reason and not most of it, not ever malicious or intentional.
They just didn't know what they didn't know. So to to go back and expect it from parents, I've used this term, which is my sister's a million times on this podcast is like going to Home Depot for milk and eggs. You know, like sitting down and having that conversation with my mother, it's not going to get me where I want, but I can have that conversation with myself.
I can come to that awareness of like you had shared, Oh, this is, this is. How I was raised. I was raised in a very judgmental family. So of course, I was trying to show up as perfection. That makes 100 percent sense. And to come to that realization is almost like giving that younger version of you this big hug and a high five.
Like, thank you for what you did and how you skillfully adapted [00:35:00] to your surroundings. And you can put it down. You can just put it down. You don't have to try so hard.
Kathy Washburn: I'm, I'm in this a new relationship and I just moved in. So we're cohabitating, you know, I was married for 25 years, single for seven.
And I grew up like you fiercely independent. I don't need anybody. I can, I can do anything by myself, but this move and all this tumultuous or tumult, just, I got so sick for three days. I could do nothing. And here I had this person wanting to care for me, wanting to make dinner for me, which was not an experience I had in my marriage.
And I was like, no, no, no, no, you go do you, I got this. And he's, he's just like, let me care for you. And it just brought me to tears. I was [00:36:00] sobbing, not sad, just so moved to believe that. I am worthy of being cared for by another human and I can just receive. I don't have to do anything for it. There's no tit for tat.
There's no, there's no math issue. You know, I did something for you. You need to do something for me. It just was such a different experience. And here I am 50, almost 58, it's like, wow, okay. We can change,
Dr. Corey Winn: you know, but it's so powerful because there's also so much healing around that for you. But just hearing that when I first got married, my husband had been divorced, had been a single dad for seven years.
And. I remember standing with him in the kitchen and he was doing all the things and I would step in and try and help and he'd step over and do [00:37:00] it finally stepped back and I was like you can either let me help you or you can resent me for sitting over there on the couch because I'm not fighting with you anymore and we've been married for 11 years now and still sometimes in the kitchen he'll take over but on the flip side of that having grown up fiercely independent and I can do this and I don't need anybody when he would help me.
There was resentment initially. Why do you think I can't do that myself? Why? I don't need you. And he's looking at me like, what's wrong with you? But it took me us both this dance of Recognizing that his love language is helping and doing and that he can receive help the amount of times that we've, I've looked at him and going, why are you doing that?
The hard way? He's like, I don't know what other way to do it,
but I think on both sides being open to receive, because I feel like so much of our [00:38:00] society is just. I'm good. I don't need you. And then stepping aside and realizing it's really okay to get help.
Kathy Washburn: Yeah, it's okay to need. It's something that I'm learning and really just relishing in this reciprocal energy.
It's so much more powerful. And when I think about it, it makes so much sense. Energy going one way is like, running against a brick wall a thousand times. Energy that is reciprocal is, it's just that spiral upward. Barbara Fredrickson talks about positivity resonance. It's just that power where when we're in a negative emotion, like resentment, we're just shutting down.
And I often think when I talk about resentment, I can't help but automatically think of the word cement. I don't know why it's there always been. They're very aligned with [00:39:00] each other. And it really is like putting on that armor and just having it rust in place.
Speaker 3: So
Kathy Washburn: DW 40, 40 in this armor that I've had and being with this very patient human allowing it to crumble as he's just patiently awaits my, it's just such a it's so, it's so easeful and freeing when we, when we can step into that.
And that's what I think caught my eye when I was on your website and listening to your podcast. That's what we're trying to share. It's not as hard as you think. And it is, it is. It's crazy powerful because it actually, once you get it, it actually allows you to help the people a thousand times more. So if you're already an empath, if you're already a giver, you'll just be able to give [00:40:00] exponentially without giving yourself away.
Right. Which is, it's such a gift to be able to, to understand that for yourself. I one of the things I loved about your website, and I, I might have to copy this because as you can see behind me, I'm a total bookworm. But you have this option of getting, receiving the book list that changed your life.
And I was so excited because I had almost every single book that you did, but one book on there was the most powerful in terms of changing specifically your limiting beliefs.
Dr. Corey Winn: I think I was going to say I, I updated it just the other day, just since you, because I've been reading the power of receiving by Amanda Owen. Oh, I
Kathy Washburn: love Amanda Owen. Is that
Dr. Corey Winn: her new book? It is amazing because I'm, I'm such a doer. I'm, I'm a, I grew up [00:41:00] in masculine energy. So the idea of feminine energy is, Was very foreign to me.
And even my coach very lovingly said, she said, you have got to relax.
But when it comes to limiting beliefs, I went back and looked over the list again. And I really think it comes back to Ronnie wears the top five regrets of the dying because So many of the women who I work with have, like I said, we've checked all the boxes. We've stayed in our lane. We did what we were supposed to do.
And, you know, growing up in my house, both my parents went to college, but my dad was the first person in his family to go to college. So going to college was not an option. I mean, it wasn't even a discussion. It was where you went after high school. And then, you know, you were, I had to go to graduate school and I don't regret any of that.
I love being a physical therapist, but with that said, having the To follow my own path.
Speaker 3: It was
Dr. Corey Winn: still like I needed that permission from somebody initially, [00:42:00] because what were people going to think if I failed? What are they going to say? And to be able to get rid of that noise and say, but what do I. Want and follow that path.
I mean, all the limiting beliefs come out. You don't have the skills. You don't have the education who would hire you. I mean, everything. And just being in the space of women like you and other women in our space who you can look to and say, well, if they can, then I can. And of course I have the expertise and if I don't know the answer, I can have a resource on, you know, ready to go.
So I think that's been the biggest thing is just stepping out and having the courage and then working with a coach or therapist or reading another book. That's specific to whatever that limiting belief is, whether [00:43:00] it's money, whether it's self worth, whether it's an actual skill that you need, go take a course and just being willing to step out there and try, just like you said, you don't know what you're capable of until you try.
Dr. Corey Winn: And, I remember talking to one of my mentors about just this fear of failure. And she said, well, what does failure mean to you? And I just kind of sat there. She said, Tell me if this resonates with you. She said it, what I feel like I'm hearing is if success doesn't follow this line, you feel like it should, if it doesn't follow this perfect path of steps, then it feels like failure to you.
And I said, that's exactly what it is. She said, so what if the path has to take a detour? What if you don't know the next steps? She said, it doesn't have to follow the [00:44:00] path that you think it needs to, to not be successful. So that was really helpful for me.
Kathy Washburn: Yeah. I think that's such a, it's such a powerful question. What does failure mean to you? Because if you can, if you can reframe that to, to something different, like I used to think failing fast. I worked in, I was, had the luxury of working in a very unique investment firm that was very entrepreneurial.
So. With this great guy that actually encouraged us to kind of take chances when we weren't penalized. If they fail, if they failed, he was just like, make sure you fail fast and don't drag them out. So let's learn from them and move on, which was a really good skill set to learn and in the work world, which is always fascinating to me because at work, I was.
Really [00:45:00] confident and had a lot of skills, but in personal relationships, they didn't really carry over. I wish I could have dragged that part of myself in. And I think it, it, it speaks to what you had just mentioned where often, when we're not doing it for ourselves. When we're doing it, we're trying to be somebody that we're not, we can't be authentic everywhere.
So that authenticity and that dialing back into who we really are is such an important step and it's a process.
Dr. Corey Winn: Well, and there's another book that I didn't put on here, but a friend of mine gave me a book called the mistakes we've made. And it's all of these women in different. Corporate jobs, education, all sorts of things, talking about their mistakes.
And I remember growing up and, and, you know, you always dress for the job that you want, and I always showed up a certain way, [00:46:00] but it, it started like chipping off the iceberg one day, a friend of mine looked at me at work and she said, You were always so put together. I put my makeup on in the parking lot today before I walked through the door and you could just see the pressure fall off of her.
And it was like, okay, I have got to figure this out. I have got to figure out how to show up and not. Complete hot mess. Like I don't have anything together, but in a way that is relatable to people, because I don't have it all together. I don't know everything, learn something new every day, but to, there's a difference between showing up perfect and showing up professionally
Speaker 3: and,
Dr. Corey Winn: and talking more about the mistakes that you've made and making it normal.
Kathy Washburn: Yeah, I love the shift to that vulnerability. I feel like it's, it's more out there than it ever was to not be okay. I think [00:47:00] the, the Olympics did a great job with that. There are a lot of big leaders to step out and say, Hey, I'm not mentally well and I need help. Yeah. Opening the door for many others to do the same and, the access for most people is pretty available now, whether it's a coach or a, or a therapist.
I did a lot of research on the difference between the two. And I think that there is a world in which both are very, useful and sometimes you can work with. The two of them at the same time, but, there is a, maybe a need for one or the other to help people grow into the version of them and it requires an investment and I'm so, it's been such a joy to talk to you and I'm, I can only imagine the people that are investing in your genius how that's resonating with [00:48:00] them and, and rippling out into the circles that they influence.
It's such a joy.
Dr. Corey Winn: Thank you so much. This has been absolutely lovely.
Kathy Washburn: I have one last question. Yeah. If I were to crush you up and put you in pill form, what effect would you have on someone taking that pill? What would their essence do to them? What would your essence do for them?
Dr. Corey Winn: I think my biggest goal working with my clients is Helping them learn to believe in themselves again.
And I had somebody asked me what my was Simone Canego on her podcast. She said, what is your definition of confidence? And I think early on, we. Here confidence as showing up a certain way and fake it till you make it and all this stuff. And for me, confidence is truly believing in yourself, regardless of what the external world looks like.
You know, you're, you may not have met those goals. [00:49:00] You may not be as wealthy as you want to be yet, but no having the knowing that it's coming and believing in yourself, regardless of whatever people are telling you. That you should or shouldn't be doing. So if my clients can walk away and have that feeling of.
I know who I am, what I stand for, and where I'm going, then I have done, done my job.
Kathy Washburn: Well done. Job well done. We'll have your contact info in the show notes. It has been such a pleasure, and I know that our paths are going to cross again and I really, I really appreciate your gift of time, and I know that people will find this very beneficial.
Thank you so much.
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