Ep. 46 - Grit and Grace: How to Find Clarity and Optimism in Overwhelming Situations with Sara Corckran
[00:00:00] Our guest today is Sara Corcoran, a resilience expert and fellow positive psychology coach. She's also the author of a new book called Grit and Grace, how to Find Clarity and Optimism and Overwhelming Situations. You might remember Sara from the wildly popular episode 19 where we talked about loving our fate and the power of gratitude.
This conversation is an expansion of that one. As we dive into her book, uh, she shares with us how it came to be. How it is meant to serve people to rise up after getting the proverbial wind knocked out of them. We all have this power inside of ourselves, and Sara gives us accessibility to that power.
May this podcast be the catalyst for you to become the better version of you just bursting to step forward.
[00:01:00]
Kathy Washburn: Welcome Sara Corcoran. I am so excited to have this conversation with you. Sara has been on this podcast before. In fact, I think she is the most listened to episode around the topic of gratitude. Sara and I share a mad obsession with positive psychology. And, uh, different ways to bring you out to the world.
But today we're here to talk about her new [00:02:00] book called Grit and Grace that she has just birthed into the world. Hello, Sara.
Sara Corckran: Hi,
Kathy Washburn: Kathy.
Sara Corckran: Always a highlight. Kathy Washburn time is.
Kathy Washburn: One
Sara Corckran: of my favorites. Thanks for having me.
Kathy Washburn: Oh, it is such a pleasure. And I just ordered 10 more of these books to gift to my friends because you make this work so accessible.
And your story is brilliantly weaved in the embedded and weaved in throughout it, which it's a pretty astonishing story. You dived into it a bit when we talked last, but if you could just I'm loving this new question. And I'm using it a lot on my podcast and with my clients. If you could just take us on a, like a five minute Adventure and share a little bit about yourself by answering or adding to the following.
[00:03:00] Once upon a time.
Sara Corckran: Once upon a time, there was a young woman who was faced with adversity, significant adversity in her life. And she was. Lost in the sauce. She was so young and innocent and had no tools and she managed as one does. And she was able to wear this mask so that everybody thought she was thriving inside the mask.
She was in a boxing ring with her thoughts and. just losing punch left, right, upper hook. I don't even know the names, but she was upper cut. She was getting decked and nobody knew it. And then. It happened to her [00:04:00] again and she was like, Oh my God, this is just so hard. I, she's wearing a mask and she's getting beat up and nobody can see it.
And then she went to boxing school and she learned how to tie her shoes and the clothes to wear and the punches to throw. And she learned how to dock. And she learned how to get out of the ring and then get back in if she wanted. And then she faced adversity again, but she had all the tools and she was like, okay, I'll do this.
I know how to do this. And I'm going to throw my punches and I'm going to absorb some of the punches you're going to throw me. And she felt. empowered and strong. And then she got to the other side of adversity and [00:05:00] she used all of her knowledge and all of her tools to help others who are facing big and little challenges so that they had the tools that she worked so hard to get and use.
The end.
Kathy Washburn: I am so blown away. I have the theme song of whatever it's called, Rocky Balboa. I'm running up the stairs and filling up. Like I have it singing in my head and watching you because you have gone through some shit, man, uh, over and over. Uh, and you were never knocked down in, in this book.
There's so many places where. I had tears in my eyes just imagining there's this one moment that you shared where your husband was in the same hospital getting chemo treatment while you were delivering your first baby on a different floor [00:06:00] and how the hospital kind of came together so your husband could be by your side.
Just, dang, how do you get past that with grit and grace?
Sara Corckran: Well, the thing is that, you know, I kind of see it as you know, those moving walkways in the airport, that's life you're getting on and you're going to get off, like that's going to happen, but it's how you do it, what, how you feel while you're riding that ride, it's the things that you think about in the way that you face it and.
That's the difference. That's what the book's about. I can't control the adversity that comes my way, nor can anyone else. We don't get to choose that. And if we sit in that, we feel like victims. But when we start to think about what is in our control, how do we want to face this? What do we want to focus on?
What's going well? Then you start to feel [00:07:00] more empowered and you feel like. you're not a victim. And that's what I'm really hoping to help people with.
Kathy Washburn: It's such a beautiful gift in what I learned at 50 is called self efficacy or self advocacy or agency. And those three things, I don't know, I guess I always just assume oh, I have the ability, but to understand.
that I have agency, that there is some power behind my own being. I don't have to be a victim to my environment or my world. And you and I share this passion to help people to start living from the inside out versus the outside in. And that's not only living from, but really healing from [00:08:00] the inside out.
What does that mean to you?
Sara Corckran: Okay. I so want to have this conversation with you because I really want to hear what it means to you. I have thought about this so many times. I know that it's going to be different for every person. Part of healing from the inside out is being authentic in what is inside and what is going outside.
So in, as I was saying, in my first two experiences with cancer, I was wearing the mask. And so it, That's not helping the healing. That is not healing from the inside out. There needs to be this authenticity between what you're feeling and what you're putting out there. And it doesn't matter to me. I don't need this to be shiny and rosy.
I need what's coming out there to be true. And so that In order to make that palatable, I always say, just show up with curiosity instead [00:09:00] of coming out there and being like, what did you just say that to me? It sounds more can you tell me a little bit more about what you were thinking? So just as a little side or example, healing from the inside out is about for me taking care of me, like What little things can I do to become intimately friends, familiar, comfortable with myself, which is a lot of self love and self acceptance.
honoring any feeling or emotion that's coming my way. This belongs here. It's supposed to be here. I'm not pushing it away. It means so many little things like I'm writing and I'd be like, the writing's not coming out right now. Let me go outside. I'm not going to force this, not forcing things anymore.
Things that women don't do, like you, you're working on a project, you're working on your to do list, you have to go to the bathroom, [00:10:00] you're like, I'm just going to finish this email, use the restroom. No, I'm going to go right now. That's like some examples of what it is, but I really want to know what you think it is.
Kathy Washburn: Healing
Sara Corckran: from the inside out.
Kathy Washburn: Healing from the inside out. You bring up some brilliant points this idea of try to think of the quote that somebody shared, this cancel culture, when we actually cancel ourselves out and you describe it as a mask, but it's that same thing where it's oh. I'm gonna put on my happy face because what's happening inside is not, is too much, or is too loud, or not enough for whatever's outside of me.
And when you were describing it you were saying, I want to be authentic and what I'm shining out into the world doesn't have to be sparkly or brilliant. I, it just has to be honest. [00:11:00] And it reminds me of, I've shared this before on this podcast. I went to a Bible study. years ago I'm not, you know, people always say this, I'm not hugely religious, but I'm very spiritual.
But as, and I think in your book you called going to church, what do you call when you just go for Christmas and Easter? A creaster. A creaster. I was a creaster, but at this point in my life, my marriage was really, I was really struggling in my marriage. I was really struggling that I had flitted away this.
this second chance I got, you know, having survived stage four cancer. And I was like stuck in this place where I really wasn't. with my values and who I wanted to be. But so I joined this Bible study with this young pastor. He was from Harvard divinity school, really brilliant and very [00:12:00] curious, attacked, not attacked, offered all this stuff from a big lens of curiosity.
But one of the things he shared was about the cross, which I love crosses. I've always been kind of, attached to the, I have them all over my house, not because I'm religious, but there's something about this symbol. And he said that this part of the cross is that you are aligned with your own divinity.
You are aligned with how God made you, you know, in the light of God, and you can put whatever you want in that. Quote. And when you are aligned, which basically means when you're being authentically you, only then can you expand out into the world and be the influence that you want to be.
Sara Corckran: Love that.
Kathy Washburn: It was a moment for me because I was like, oh. Oh, those [00:13:00] two pieces were not attached in my world. I wasn't, this was not a strong a strong timber. It was more like a of Windsock at the used car lot. It was like, I don't know who the fuck I am. And so, how in God's name did I feel like I could influence the world around me?
No chance. It was this moment of, dang. Something's so off here and he also shared you have to be willing to die to yourself every day, which I didn't like. I still don't like the language of that. In fact, I love Shirzad Shermane's language instead. You must fall in love with yourself every single day.
Every
Sara Corckran: day. I'm always telling my clients. You need to treat yourself the way you want to be treated. The way, you know, you want your significant other, your [00:14:00] friends, whatever, to bring you flowers? Go do it. You take yourself on the perfect date. Don't wait for someone else to take you on it. This is the only me I'm ever gonna have, and this is the most consistent thing in my life.
I'm born to myself. I'm going to die to myself. This is the relationship. I need to spend more time with this relationship than with any other relationship. And why do we walk around Hey, yeah, I'll help you. I'll help you. I'll help you. I help all these people. I take care of all these people.
And the one thing that's going to stand by my side my whole life I'm ignoring? It tells me it has to go to the bathroom and I'm like, Nope, this email's more important now.
Kathy Washburn: It's such a Game changer. Yeah. The other thing I just want to mention about about healing or even living from the inside out is this idea of, Intimacy, there is such [00:15:00] a, you know, for my whole life, I wanted deep, intimate relationships that were absolutely, I was incapable of by, you know, being that windsock because I couldn't show up authentically and into me I see.
It's this whole beautiful experience of understanding, like, how I became, how it affects who I'm being, and how I can become a different version of me. We're always changing, uh, even though I grew up with that mindset of, is it? It is what it is. Those were the ca, those were the cards you were dealt. That's the bed you made.
You gotta sleep in it. You know, all this like such fixed mindset of this is what's possible. So inside out is really first. Those, you know, really creating a master date with yourself. You can masturbate during those times if you want, but [00:16:00] really it's a time to find pleasure and joy in whatever it is that you're seeking so that you can be in service of other people.
And you can't possibly do that when you, like you said, when you're canceling out yourself and not even allowing yourself to listen to your body signals of. I gotta go to the bathroom. Damn, that's grace. That's your grace and your, and from your grit and grace, that is the grace part.
Kathy Washburn: Tell me what the hardest part of writing that, writing your book was.
Sara Corckran: There were two parts that were hard, but this book was called Pillars of Resilience for Two Years, and I, and I couldn't come up with another title, but that title was too hard for me. I wanted something softer, and I had a really hard time I finally just got to the point where I was like, fine.
Grit and [00:17:00] grace. And, but another funny part about that book was, Is that this line how to find clarity and optimism in overwhelming situations? It came from a friend of mine who had read The Heron's Perspective, which I will share with your audience, but it's how this book came about. I had these 12 pillars and I wanted to test the audience to see how well it resonated.
So I created this 13 week newsletter and It's been really well received, so I sent that out, and a friend read it, and she texted me back these exact words. Thank you so much. It's helped me find clarity and optimism in these overwhelming situations. And I was like, that I need as the tagline. And that, to me, is the name of the book.
So, writing the title was really hard. There's some vulnerable pieces. Rewriting that, the story in the first, that first chapter that, as you said, it's really touching and I'm sure a lot of people cry when they read it. [00:18:00] You know from Positive Psychology that we always say that when you retell a story, you relive it in your body.
So I always tell my clients, listen, don't tell everybody, don't always talk about your diagnosis story, or don't talk about your trauma to everybody because you're reliving it in your body every time. When you're in a therapeutic situation, yes, that's the time to talk about it, journal about it. But you know, people over tell their story a lot and they don't realize that they're reliving it in their body.
So my gift to whoever reads this book is that I intimately relived this story so many times, writing it, rewriting it, writing it, rewriting it, re reading it, crying it every time. Uh, with the hope of just having it be accessible for people, powerful to people. Give me credibility so that they would read the book with new eyes.
But that was really hard. Mmm.
Kathy Washburn: You're reminding me, it's, we have this ability to time travel, [00:19:00] you know, we can go back into the past, we can dream and imagine a future, and as you time travel in this moment, looking back on that really challenging time. What do you see as the gift and opportunity of the experience?
Specifically that one where you're a young woman, pretty freshly married, right out of the gate. a cancer diagnosis for your new husband, being, becoming pregnant, like this. First of all, I just have to highlight the timing, some of the timings that happened with this and many of your other events, just the what do you call that?
The span of. This devastating diagnosis and you're [00:20:00] going to CVS to get a pregnancy test because what else are you going to do while you wait for the results of your husband's cancer biopsy? So he's telling you, yes, I have cancer, and you're telling him, yeah, we're having a baby. And then you're in the hospital, he's getting really hardcore treatment and you're delivering a new life.
These par paradigm? What is the scale of But, I digress. The idea of this these things happening at the very same time, in this very tumultuous time, as you time travel and think about that moment. And then you kind of time travel forward and all of the beautiful and crazy things that have happened since.
What was the gift in that moment? Can you see a gift, that there was a gift?
, as you reflect back, [00:21:00] can you think of maybe even, I don't want to lead you, but like this idea of during that time, this capability that you didn't even know you had,
Sara Corckran: this is a. A like single thread that ran through everything that probably is going to run through everybody's and this actually has a lot to do with the heron. So the symbolism of the heron is that it is this beautiful, resilient bird, and it has this enormous body cavity in these teeny, teeny, tiny legs.
And we think that we need these pillars to hold us up. Like proportionally big body, big pillars. And we don't, we have everything we need inside of us to hold ourselves up. And based on my childhood and all the trauma that I experienced there that didn't even make it into the book, I think [00:22:00] I spent so many years, where's the prince coming in on the white horse? Who's coming in here to save me? Who's going to come help in this situation? And, knowing, learning, that I have everything inside of me. And, I'm the best person for the job. That was huge too. I was like, there was a place where I was like, Okay, I can get through this.
But, who's the best person for the job? And now, I'm not looking. I'm not like, is there a better? I'm like, no one knows. better than me, what I'm capable of, what I've been through, what I do well, what are my strengths? So that's the
Kathy Washburn: answer. It's such a beautiful answer. You are the best person for the job and the outsourcing, I think it's so inherent in our culture.
Oh, you know, imposter syndrome and all these other things that make us feel like we're [00:23:00] not. You are the best person for the job. Dang. And so
Sara Corckran: are you.
Kathy Washburn: And so is everybody.
Sara Corckran: But we If you're, I guess that's really important. If you're listening to this and you're outsourcing like for decision making and how to get through things.
Go ahead, outsource for your, cleaning your house, outsource for the things that you don't need to be doing. But these other things, just ask yourself, could I do this? You know, is this an opportunity for me to prove my love to myself, my strength for myself?
Kathy Washburn: Dang. I love proving my love for myself or ex or experiencing that love for yourself, I have to imagine that the writing process itself was kind of a
gift of love for yourself. What was it like for you and did you have to create habits around it? Did it feel forceful or? Okay, great question.
Sara Corckran: I wrote this book [00:24:00] originally for myself. So just taking the time to process my story, not knowing where it was going to go. Was this going to be like a document that I held on to?
It was, I had no attachment to what actually happened to it. And as I kept writing, I was clear that this book was for my girls. They were going to face adversity. I learned a lot. And maybe if they read it, then they could grab some of these gems of wisdom. And then as I continued on, I decided that. The tools in here were good.
They needed to be out there in the world. And the Heron's perspective is what gave me that feedback. All right, this has to get out there in the world. There were three iterations of the book. The first one was basically my journal, just cleaned up a little bit. And I didn't love that. It was so much like.
Me, [00:25:00] I, Sara, me, I, Sara. I was like, this doesn't feel good to me. Then I added in all tools. And then I was like, nah, no one's going to read this. This is just a book of tools. And so then this is where the writing process got good. As you read in the book, I kind of. Dove into energy, spirituality, kind of trying to find where I fit in there.
And so I started meditating. I started grounding. I started breathing. And it's something I still carry with me today.
Sara Corckran: So when I was on my third iteration of the book, they're kind of, you know, like it's not iteration. It's like third perspective of the book. I And it was take my daughter to school, come home, get your cup of coffee, go stand in the grass and ground and breathe till I felt like the words were coming through me.
It wasn't [00:26:00] necessarily. Me working to get them out. It was allowing what needed to come out and I mean, might even use the words universal energy to kind of flow through me to come through my fingers and then I would sit down and I would type and then when the last word was And I would be like, you know, then my brain would come online and it would say things like, well, what's next and is this good?
And then I would walk away. And if I, maybe I would ground and breathe and meditate again, or maybe I just wouldn't come back to it, but I stopped forcing, then there was no forcing. And that's where I felt like the beauty of the book happened.
Kathy Washburn: that's so powerful.
Kathy Washburn: I can, I often. When I'm walking my dog, especially in the woods, I find myself like talking into that voice memo because [00:27:00] all of a sudden something will come up and for some reason I can't capture it from wherever I am to when I get to my desk. It's like I'm gonna lose that and it, it does have that essence of coming through me versus Being forced out of me.
As I read your book, there is such a plethora of, uh, of tools and and I love the idea of the different ones that you offer because it's not a, it's not a one size fits all, so I love the different options that you give. If you're looking back on your dive into positive psychology when you were kind of swimming in the pool, what was the most challenging significant one for you.
Do you have a life changing I don't aha moment during that gathering. Because this is a fairly new science. You and I both give science legs. A lot of the science just [00:28:00] was stuck in a file cabinet somewhere or in journals. That were meant for, you know, PhDs or somebody else that had access. To them and we're kind of giving it legs and allowing people access to it.
That might not have access to it. So what was Was there an aha moment where you're like, damn, that just Changed my life.
Sara Corckran: I think that thoughts is probably the most impactful piece of positive psychology that I have Applied to my life. I think people facing adversity. It is the most important one for people to address How do you mean?
How do I mean so I don't I think people aren't aware of their thoughts I think people feel that they are victim to their thoughts and that there's nothing that they can do. I would never say you can control them, let's be real, but I do think we can influence [00:29:00] them. And so in, in, uh, understanding the bit of science behind them, like negativity bias, we are predisposed to focus on what is going wrong.
And you're going to remember the science part of this, but Oh, it's I remember now. It's like the negative and positive emotion that negative emotion is. is deposited in double digits and positive emotion is deposited in single digits. So we really have to add in a lot more to even out the scales.
So that's what often happens with feedback. So I think understanding our thoughts and learning to become aware of them and influence them. Had the biggest impact because I, you know, that boxing ring, the light, the lights are out in the boxing ring. When you're up against your thoughts, you don't even see them coming.
You've been through this, you're walking in the woods and everything's fine and everything's [00:30:00] great. And then all of a sudden upper hook and you are out and you can't get out of it. And you're just in this spiral that's taking you down. And I remember it can still happen to me today. Okay. I am caught in negative thought.
This is real. What do I want to do about this? That's a game changer. Just, these aren't, these thoughts are, this is, I'm predisposed for this. My mind searches for this. This happens to everybody. And now what am I going to do about it?
Kathy Washburn: Yeah. This. This idea that you know, you and I both have done the positive intelligence work with Shirzad Sharmain and this idea of your car being driven by a five year old or your operating system, you're running on this five year old operating system because this is how our quote unquote traumas are embodied until we have this.
Wake [00:31:00] up call or awareness that, uh, how powerful, I think Gandhi was the first one that said your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values and your values become your destiny. And this unbeknownst to us.
It's happening when we are intentional and pay attention. All of a sudden our destiny becomes. One that we're, for lack of a better word, manifesting because we get to upgrade our operating system and come at it from this adulting that often, we don't even realize Oh, I'm 50 years old and I'm still driven by a five year old all jacked up on Red Bull with the keys in the car.
Sara Corckran: People don't and I never [00:32:00] did paid attention to the way I spoke to myself. Oh, and the things we say to ourselves, you know, we would never, ever speak to a friend. The, this was, I, maybe this is answering the original question that you asked me.
Sara Corckran: I read somewhere and you maybe even recommended the book that we, if we take our thoughts and we imagine them next to us as a personified person, I've named mine, Lucy, and I've explained this to my 11 year old daughter and she totally gets it's maybe one of my greatest parenting moments of all time.
But if we saw our thoughts next to us. Okay, and the things they say like you're really gonna wear that. Did you really just say that on an interview? Really? You're not who you say you are like all these negative thoughts that are coming out of this person And then you say would you be friends with this girl?
No, I would never be friends with this person Would you invite them to lunch? No, and then are they correct? Are they correct are like if you looked at [00:33:00] their track record for what they said and what is true Would you be friends with them? No. So, Lucy, next to me, is really not, she's just not a friend. I'm not going to be friends with that.
And my daughter will say, Mom, I, you know, that soccer game, Lucy was just right there. And I'm like, well, what'd you do? You know, and she'll say, well, I told her to go home. I told her I didn't need her. And it's, she gets that these thoughts aren't real. They're not us. And that is going to change an experience.
Kathy Washburn: That just blows my mind. And your original intention of this book as a gift to your children now becoming a gift to a whole generation.
Kathy Washburn: And, you know, these young women, I have the privilege of coaching a couple of young humans under 40.
And the fact that they're doing this work now, I have one that's in her 20s, and [00:34:00] for a little while I worked with several young women, it was when I first started coaching, kind of coming out of corporate America. And these young women were all in career transitions because they had attended the school their mother wanted them to, or their parents wanted them to.
were found themselves in the line of work that was kind of forecasted for them because of familial ties or whatever. And all of a sudden, they're like, yeah, not having it. And I, I remember being that girl at 27. How did I find myself in the world of investments? I hate math. I mean, I just wanted, I wanted to write, I wanted to be more creative and Lockdown, man, those golden handcuffs came on and I stayed there for 30 years.
And here are these young, brave, courageous women who were, okay, I checked the box. I did what I was expected to do, [00:35:00] but they're more empowered. And I can't help but continue to remind myself, you know, my parents never had Google to search and say, you know, why am I feeling this way? You and I. it, you know, in our mid somethings and decided to jump in and take a swim in it.
There are others that still stay in this place of not changing, but this new generation, your kids, my kids, what a gift to have. this little toolbox on their bedside to help them when they are feeling overwhelmed. Oh, I can put Lucy in a chair next to me and I can choose to just I just randomly open your book sometimes and go, Oh, okay, let's see.
Gratitude, which is what I just opened to. Like, how can [00:36:00] I inflict gratitude in my moment right now? And I just can't imagine, I hope you're speaking, I know that you are a teacher. You're a teacher, you're in education.
Sara Corckran: I was in, I taught at our local college for 20 years and I've worked in the public school before that.
So a lot of years in education and
Kathy Washburn: speaking. I hope you're speaking to young groups and arming them with these tools. Are you? If not, we got to get you out there.
Sara Corckran: I'm doing a lot more public speaking, which I'm really excited about. But I would love, I'm with you. I love touching the younger people.
You clients that are in their 20s, and I would love more because you feel like you're getting in before, before they have resentment, really, before they feel like they have exhausted themselves to the point where they have dis ease in their body, and they are, they seem to be very open [00:37:00] to these tools because they're in that age of like exploration and self awareness.
And so they're getting tools at the right time. Well, you're right. We didn't have them available to us. I think I would have eaten this up as a young person but it just wasn't available. So I'm with you, the young people, it's super fun.
Kathy Washburn: So exciting. And I know that you started a company which is how we first met called Happy You University, Y O U, which brilliant.
But I can see. Where that, I can see so many ties to, this is Happy University. This book is going to school and educating yourself on how to be a happy you and be in control of that. What's next for you?
Good
Sara Corckran: question. I have not done group coaching and I want to do that. I think that sounds like a really fun project for me.[00:38:00]
I am thinking about what another book would look like, and it would be prevention. It's ease prevention, how to, like that alignment that we're talking about, honoring yourself, sitting in your values, taking self care, like all of that. What does that look like and the impact that it would have on you? And I'm also really enjoying where I am, not necessarily, again, allowing more than, like, pushing forward, like just letting it unfold as it's unfolding.
Sara Corckran: And it's been being present with this moment and enjoying it as it's happening, not pushing.
Kathy Washburn: It feels so peaceful.
Sara Corckran: Just feels really great in my body. And I talk about this. In the book, [00:39:00] I think the goal for my clients, for myself is to be in alignment and have this feel peace and ease as I'm moving forward in as many things as possible, being aware when I'm not in, you know, when I have tension and so that's it's working as a compass.
This feels peaceful and ease, do that. This doesn't, this feels like I'm forcing it, okay, that's not the right thing for you. Which is basically tapping into intuition.
Kathy Washburn: I actually am witnessing right now that you've really practiced what you're preaching. This idea of, this is how you live now. you, this optimism and clarity has been found because you practice and you experience it.
And I'm sure like, And I want to highlight you're human [00:40:00] also, so I'm sure there are days that you're like overwhelm, and not doing my practice. I'm going to overwhelm and have my glass of wine because right now, that just makes me feel good.
Sara Corckran: Yes. Turn on Netflix, shut down, don't, there is no, just allowing this is part of life.
I always say, And I want everyone to know this, that adversity is a really small capsule of life, okay? It is the most joy you'll feel and the most alone you'll feel, the most afraid you'll feel and the most empowered you'll feel. It is the most. And all of that is so important and valid and don't push any of that away.
Like when you feel the most down, the only thing you need to remember is impermanence. This is the most down. This is bad. Not going to always be this way. And the opposite. [00:41:00] God, I feel so great today. I feel so loved, cared for. I'm grateful for science. I'm grateful for my husband. I'm grateful for the sun. I might not feel this way tomorrow, so I'm just going to absorb it and be in this moment.
It's this is life. We are feeling deeply.
Kathy Washburn: Yes.
Kathy Washburn: So I, maybe you just answered this question, but if you were to say there's one thing that I hope readers take from this book, what would it be? That was totally it. That's what I thought.
Sara Corckran: It's whatever moment you're in, that's the moment you're supposed to be in.
You have everything inside of you to handle this situation. You're completely capable. And if you're looking for a tool on how to feel. You know, like you, you've sat in it long enough. You've been in that dark place and you're like, okay, I no longer want to feel this way. [00:42:00] Then here you go, then get into a tool because they're there for you.
That's what they're there for.
Kathy Washburn: And if that doesn't work, call, uh, or we'll have your contact information. If you're looking for a mentor and a guide to take you there, Sara will happily take you on that journey.
Sara Corckran: Walk by your side. That's the job. Just a guide, like you said, to help remind you of the tools, remind you of how capable you are, and offer, help you find a perspective that you're looking for.
Kathy Washburn: Mmm, it's so interesting. You're just reminding me, when I originally started this eight years ago, I love Mumford Sons. God, I just love him. And uh, one of his songs called Awake My Soul has this line. It says give me your eyes, I'll change what you see. And it's been a, really been [00:43:00] a mantra for me and coaching and helping people see things differently.
Just realize there's good and right inside them and to explore that and that's what your book does. allows me and I, you know, I'm steeped in this work, but it really helps my vision turn inward and Realize like I am the little fat part of the bird, you know, there is like there's some good in there and I might feel like I'm standing on stilts and really spindly or maybe a little baby deer legs.
I still have this meat, this like plump little body that I have what I need with inside me and these are just little windows. That give me eyes so I can see myself differently. So thank you for this gift. I'm [00:44:00] so grateful for what you're bringing into the world and I cannot recommend this book more.
In fact, I need to write my review of it for you online. I know that's a powerful what do you call that
Sara Corckran: Yes.
Kathy Washburn: Yes.
Sara Corckran: And I can't wait for your book. I'm like pins and needles, girl, get going.
Kathy Washburn: I'm in that version of you where it's like I'm looking at it from a different perspective and just like you originally, it was called the pillars of growth or the portals of growth and which felt really heavy and unattainable and now it's called live in peace. How different is that? I know, right?
And it's so much more accessible than the pillars of growth. And I did go through very similar. I went through a lot of me and then I was all science research, to the point where people will probably be like, what the actual? I feel like I'm reading a [00:45:00] research paper because I had so many references and all of that.
And so this third iteration is, a weaving of the two. And it's really meant. to upgrade this original idea of post traumatic growth. That was evident in the 1970s. It's when the original research came out. It's really something that's tangible and evidence backed, and I want to really bring it back to life as an option for people to realize that when trauma or adversity exists, there's also growth and potential.
possible. At the very same time, we can be both things. So you inspire me. Your book is inspirational. I can't wait. I think you had, did you have a book club that started? How's that going?
Sara Corckran: No, I've just done some book clubs. I did one for some of my [00:46:00] subscribers and I've just been. bopping around when a group of people read the book, they'll ask me to get on a zoom and I'll do come on and answer questions.
It's just been fun.
Kathy Washburn: Oh man. I might just have to do that. What
Sara Corckran: feels good. Like this, you asked me that feels good to say yes. I'm going to say yes.
Kathy Washburn: That definitely does work. So one last question, you've answered it before, however, I would love to see what's at the top of the mind right now. If I were to crush your essence up and put it in pill form, what effect would you have on someone taking that pill?
Sara Corckran: If I were to crush myself up and give it to someone, It would help it. It would hopefully be a reminder of how resilient they act. They are, because we are inherently resilient, we will get through it. So, even just hearing that I had a best friend. I've talked about her a lot in the book and her job was like, it's gonna be okay.[00:47:00]
It's gonna be okay. And I still call her now. I'm like, I'm going to tell you something and you know what to say, right? She's yep, I know what to say. And so what she's saying to me is, You are resilient. You can handle this. You've got everything you need inside of you. It's going to be okay. And so that's what I would, crushed me up, people popped me in, little reminder.
Kathy Washburn: Let's get manufacturing those bad boys. Actually, this is the pill. So just like the world. You know, it's not as easy as popping the pill. You gotta do some work. So, the book is there. Thank you so much for joining us, Sara. I'll put all of your contact info in the show notes. It is always a pleasure connecting with you.
Thank you, Kathy.
Sara Corckran: Loved it.
Kathy Washburn: Be well, my friend.
[00:48:00]