Joy Adan does not answer questions in this episode. She takes the reins and facilitates a live workshop with Debbie and Natalie, and two therapists end up in the client's chair. Joy is an ICF-accredited coach whose story runs through migration, scarcity and a hard season of new motherhood. She introduces concepts from coaching, intentional change, and life design to unpack how to live life from a place of abundance instead of burnout. They name the armour they wear, what it protects them from, and what it has cost. You will learn to read your emotions as information, and how to build a restoration menu you will actually use.

Key Takeaways:

• Armour Is Learned, Not Chosen: The role you play to feel safe, whether that is the strong one, the helper, or the one who never needs anything, was shaped long before you ever agreed to it.
• Every Armour Has A Cost: It almost certainly kept you safe once, and the question worth sitting with is what it has quietly taken from you since.
• Emotions Carry No Moral Verdict: Sadness, disappointment and jealousy are information about an unmet need, not evidence that something is wrong with you.
• Rest Is Not Something You Earn: Refuelling before the tank is empty is not indulgence, it is the only way to keep showing up for the people who rely on you.
• Restoration Is Personal: What restores you will not restore your partner or your best mate, so write your own menu while you still have the energy to think clearly.
• You Were Never Meant To Carry It Alone: Being intentional about whose voice you turn up, and whose you turn down, changes your confidence and your direction.

Notable Quotes:

1. "An armour is heavy. Even though it may have helped us survive in the past, and it might have helped us belong and succeed in the past, I might be able to put some of that away and set it down." — Joy Adan
2. "By the end of my marriage I was completely depleted and I didn't even recognise myself anymore." — Debbie Draybi
3. "Emotions don't carry moral verdicts. I grew up with this unspoken message that if an emotion made me uncomfortable, it was bad." — Joy Adan
4. "Rest is not something I have to earn. I need to refuel before my tank is empty. I should not be waiting for that light to come on." — Joy Adan
5. "I'm known for my hugs. I'm a hug giver. But no, I don't think I've ever asked for a hug." — Natalie Moujalli

You and your mental health is important to us. If this episode brought up any heavy emotions, please know you do not need to carry them alone. Reach out to Lifeline, Beyond Blue, or the counselling service at Hills Sanctuary house at hshl.org.au 

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