Children rarely say they are anxious. They say their stomach hurts. Teenagers slam doors and stop handing in work.

In this episode of Finding Sanctuary, Debbie Draybi sits down with GP Dr Sarah Nakhel and psychologist Christie Khoury to unpack how anxiety presents in children and teenagers, why a diagnosis is an explanation and not an excuse, and how our own anxiety transfers to our kids.

You will learn what to watch for, when to seek help, and the first step to take. 

Key Takeaways:

• Anxiety Rarely Announces Itself: In children it usually arrives as a stomach ache or a headache, and in teenagers as anger, withdrawal or unfinished schoolwork, so the first sign is often something you can see rather than a worry they can name.
• Normal Worry Has A Line: Anxiety is the body's alarm system and everyone needs it, and it becomes worth acting on when it starts costing your child their schooling, friendships or daily routine.
• An Explanation, Not An Excuse: Knowing what a diagnosis is actually for lets it open doors for your child rather than quietly close them.
• Kids Learn From What You Do: The messages that shape an anxious child are usually shown rather than said, which makes noticing your own worry, and the worry you inherited, the place to start.
• Your Job Is To Become Redundant: Every time you let your child try, stumble and recover, you give them something they will need long after they stop needing you.
• Listen Before You Fix: A minute of listening without correcting tells your child it is safe to keep talking, and five minutes in the car or at the kitchen bench counts.

Notable Quotes:

1. "They don't come in saying, I'm anxious or I'm worried or I'm nervous. Usually it's a somatic or a physical symptom." — Dr Sarah Nakhel
2. "I always say to the teenagers I work with, it's an explanation, it's not an excuse." — Christie Khoury
3. "I tell parents all the time, our job as parents is to become redundant." — Christie Khoury
4. "I went to uni for eight years, and that's not where I gained most of my experience and my knowledge. Being a parent, being a wife, being a daughter, being a sister. All of those things have taught me more than eight years doing a degree." — Dr Sarah Nakhel
5. "Because of our own anxiety, we abandon ourself and think that this is too complex. But trust that you know your child." — Debbie Draybi

You and your mental health is important to us. If this episode brought up any heavy emotions, please know you do not need to carry them alone. Reach out to Lifeline, Beyond Blue, or the counselling service at Hills Sanctuary house at hshl.org.au 

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