#53 What Tour Life Really Does to Families | Stage Wives

Behind every tour is a whole other job happening offstage: parenting, schedules, safety, emotions, and the quiet pressure of “don’t make this harder for them.”

In this episode, Nikki Sanz talks with Rachel Smith and Rhyan Shirley, founders of Stage Wives—a support community built for women navigating life while their partners work in the touring industry. They share what this lifestyle can do to connection, communication, and family rhythms—and the practical tools that help couples stay aligned when time, sleep, and distance are working against you.

You’ll also hear the frameworks they lean on in real life, from how to start hard conversations (“facts, then feelings”) to the one question that can stop a fight before it starts.

What you’ll learn:

• Why touring families can feel isolated and what actually helps (community + real tools)
• A simple communication order: facts → feelings → “listen or fix?”
• How touring impacts kids (and why ages 3–4 can be especially tough)
• Staying “present” from the road with routines
• The “two-week / three-week” approach some families use to stay connected mid-run
• What to do when therapy isn’t built for the realities of touring life
• The resources they’re building for stage families (Touring Tales + The Invisible Backpack)

Check out all Stage Wives has to offer as well as The Invisible Backpack pre-sale info: https://www.stagewives.com/

Check out Stage Wives on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stagewives 

Stage Wives bio:

Stage Wives is a Nashville-based support community for women whose husbands or significant others work in the touring industry—including musicians, artists, sound engineers, lighting techs, stage managers, road managers, and crew members of all kinds. If your partner tours, Stage Wives exists for you.

Stage Wives was founded by Rachel Smith and Rhyan Shirley, two women who know firsthand the unique challenges and emotional demands of life on the road.

Rachel Smith has spent over ten years as a tour wife. She is a pyographer aka wood-burning artist and the owner of Cinder Bella Studios and Raye Ann Pyrography. Her husband has toured full-time since they were married, and together they are raising their five-year-old daughter.

Rhyan Shirley is an award-winning songwriter and recording artist. In addition to writing full-time and leading Stage Wives, she is a single mom to a four-year-old son. Rhyan was a stage wife for ten years, during which her former husband toured an average of 300 days a year. In spite of her personal journey, she has developed a deep passion for strengthening families and helping marriages not only survive, but thrive, within the demands of touring life.

Together, Raye and Rhy are committed to empowering women to step out of isolation and victimhood and into confidence, wholeness, and emotional health. Their heart behind Stage Wives is to support the mental and emotional well-being of women at home while also strengthening marriages by ensuring touring husbands feel supported, loved, and at peace knowing their families are cared for.

At its core, Stage Wives, their podcast Offstage and On Duty, and the other resources they provide are built on the belief that prioritizing women’s mental health is essential to creating healthy stage families.

Find your next Gigg: https://www.giggs.live/

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Host: Nikki Sanz