Drinking Our Way Through History
Step into a time-traveling adventure with Drinking Our Way Through History, where Cooper and Ian uncork the fascinating secrets of the past. Embark on an enlightening and uproarious podcast experience as they uncover legendary figures, awe-inspiring sites, captivating spectacles, and remarkable events, all with a quirky blend of humor, intrigue, and heartwarming tales. Sip along as we immerse ourselves in history's intoxicating depths, turning moments of the past into unforgettable memories. Cheers to an epic journey!
Drinking Our Way Through History
Episode 28: Battle of the Alamo - DAGNABBIT!
In today’s episode, we will be discussing The Battle of the Alamo! The Battle of the Alamo was a legendary clash during the Texas Revolution. In 1836, a small Texan garrison, led by figures like Davy Crockett and Jim Bowie, held the fortified Alamo mission against a massive Mexican army led by General Santa Anna. The Texans, vastly outnumbered, fought valiantly for thirteen days. Despite their bravery and fierce resistance, they were ultimately overwhelmed on March 6th, 1836. The fall of the Alamo became a symbol of heroic sacrifice and sparked a fire for Texan independence. The defenders' determination and courage against insurmountable odds left an indelible mark on American history, rallying others to join the cause for freedom.
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I like a job. You, cooper, we're in a new place.
Speaker 1:We're on the other side of the room, we are in it. It's a whole new world. It's quite amazing, isn't it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, actually I like this. You guys can't tell audio listeners love you to death. But you know, we are on the opposite side of the room. We now have a round table. A round table. We are the knights of the round table.
Speaker 1:It's official. It's very fucking official, yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't think anybody has that on us. Honestly I think we're the only ones ever with a round table, and we look forward to being the only ones with a round table.
Speaker 1:Yes, absolutely and sooner than later, ladies and gentlemen, we will have a visual audio medium A visual medium.
Speaker 2:You were close. Save Alphabet.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, save Alphabet, we'll count it so well. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Drinking Our Way Through History, where we cover the legendary people, places, spectacles and events that history has to offer, while enjoying a thick pour of wine. Wine, I am Cooper, I am Ian. In today's episode, we will be discussing the battle of the. Alamo oh yes, yes, yes, oh boy, I know we're going two battles back to back on episodes.
Speaker 2:You know what Well we did do?
Speaker 1:we did technically do our thimble last time we had a thimble, that's true.
Speaker 2:But we did talk about war.
Speaker 1:We did, we did. I think it's you have to.
Speaker 2:I feel like every episode I think we've talked about death or war or something. You know, this stuff humans crave. Yeah, maybe next episode we'll do like.
Speaker 1:Mr Rogers or something. Yeah, right, Like the history of SpongeBob SquarePants.
Speaker 2:It's so much death and destruction. It's like we're actually still murder somewhere in that fucking story.
Speaker 1:You see how chaotic that town gets Now. The battle of the Alamo was a legendary clash. During the Texas Revolution. In 1836, a small Texan garrison, led by figures like Davy Crockett and Jim Bowie, held the fortified Alamo mission against a massive Mexican army led by General Santa Ana Santa Ana Now. The Texans, vastly outnumbered, fought valiantly for 13 days. Despite their bravery and fierce resistance, they were ultimately overwhelmed on March 6th 1836. The fall of the Alamo became a symbol of heroic sacrifice and sparked a fire for Texas independence. The defenders' determination and courage against insurmountable odds left an indelible mark on American history, rallying others to join the cause for freedom. Kind of ironic.
Speaker 2:It's. Yeah, it's a little ironic.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna do this and Ian's about to dive in a little bit. Yeah, these middle school did us dirty.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So the battle of the Alamo stands as a crucial event in the Texas Revolution, marking a turning point in the struggle for independence Lasting 13 days. Mexican forces commanded by President General Antonio López de Santa Ana successfully recaptured the Alamo mission near San Antonio de Baxar Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, which is now San Antonio, Texas. Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 2:Following in the execution of most of the defenders. Santa Ana's decision to offer no mercy to the occupants during the battle stirred a strong resolve among many Texians and Tejanos, tejanos, yes, tejanos, spurring them to join the Texian army.
Speaker 1:Now, real quick, the Texians and the Tejanos. Texians were Anglo-Americans that were like moving away from the current America, just like our I don't know territories on the East Coast over to Texas because we had just abolished slavery. And Texians were the Anglo-Americans who had slaves and came over and were escaping that abolishment of slavery, kind of.
Speaker 2:Yeah, kind of.
Speaker 1:Basically they wanted their own freedoms and they're like America's getting lost. We don't like that.
Speaker 2:We're going to steal some land from Mexico.
Speaker 1:Call it ours Basically, and the Tejanos are Mexicans who sided with the Anglo-Americans and moved over and were defending the Alamo during the Texas Revolution.
Speaker 2:Right, right. So the motivations behind the Texian resistance were pretty diverse seeking revenge for the Alamo's fall and wanting to maintain an open border for immigration and the practice of slavery, which is something we are definitely not advocating for.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're going to talk just like, because obviously this is a very like hero driven story, like it is. What these men do is absolutely fucking insane and extremely brave of how they died, but at the same time, they still owned fucking slaves.
Speaker 2:These fucks only moved to.
Speaker 1:Texas because they wanted to keep their slaves.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:That is a big factor.
Speaker 2:So they left out in school, yeah. So, seeking that revenge, the Texians rallied their forces right. Their determination culminated in the defeat of the Mexican army at the battle of San Juan.
Speaker 1:Hacinto.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, thank you. Very good pronunciation, Ian. Thanks Cooper. On April 21st of 1836, effectively ending Mexico's control over the state of Coalejia y Tejas yeah, I'll go with that.
Speaker 1:What do you think it is? Coalejia y Tejas, tejas, tejas, tejas, tejas. We got there.
Speaker 2:Somewhere in there the correct pronunciation is. So effectively it ended Mexico's control over that state and established the Republic of Texas. Now let's go ahead and take a step back and get Cooper's favorite part out of the way. Let's give a little bit of context here. Context, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:All right, so now it's like right.
Speaker 2:Right, right, I get that, I just want to emphasize like that.
Speaker 1:This story was so mis-told to us about who these actual defenders of Texas was.
Speaker 2:We all know the song, we all know the song from middle school.
Speaker 2:I don't know the song, but I remember there being a song about the Alamo that I learned in middle school. Oh, there is a song, oh, oh, the Alamo. No, that's different. Anyway, there is a song. We are taught a lot about the Alamo in like middle school, but we're not taught the fact that literally the whole reason this shit is happening is because these guys just wanted to own slaves and so they were trying to escape America that had abolished it, but Mexico had already abolished it too. So they're kind of in this middle ground trying to establish the Republic of Texas.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and we also just need to add that there was also a little bit of Mexican incentive to move down to this Texas area, and it wasn't just full on slavery abolition at this moment, because obviously the Civil War hadn't happened and Lincoln wasn't in office, but the Northern States were already doing abolition movements to get rid of slavery. Then Mexico like so people would move down to Mexico legally and illegally, like for people like James Madison that were profiting off of it. And then they also had this other shift with, like cultural differences and the illegals that were coming down there really kind of started exacerbating all the issues. Because in 1835, mexico experienced a seismic shift, triggered by the conservative victory in elections. Now this led to a series of events culminating on October 23rd 1835, where the emergence of new constitutional changes, known as las yeteles, or seven laws, which took place in Mexico. So Spanish words sound so much cooler than English words.
Speaker 2:Well, they came first. Las yeteles, or seven laws.
Speaker 1:Now, these changes radically reshaped Mexico's structure, transitioning from a federalist framework to a unitary republic, officially termed the Mexican Republic. Yes, president, antonio Lopez de Santa Ana formalized these changes on December 15th 1835, ushering in a centralized and fortified national government, which means a dictatorship.
Speaker 2:All about our dictators on this podcast.
Speaker 1:Now the previous constitution, crafted in 1824, aimed to mirror the United States political success. However, a decade of political turmoil, economic stagnation and the looming possibility of foreign invasions led the conservative forces to pivot towards centralized authority as a solution. So these new policies, especially the ban on slavery and immigration weird. It's so funny that Mexico had the first constitution. That was like fuck immigration, you got to get your papers. Well, because fucking Americans were just going over there by the boatload and being like this is our land.
Speaker 1:They were escaping the oppression of the United States government of abolishing slavery. Oh God, how dare you.
Speaker 2:How dare you oppress me by not letting me?
Speaker 1:oppress others. Now this was also coupled with stricter law enforcements and tariffs, sparking a widespread tis content among the immigrants. When I'm speaking of immigrants, I'm saying the Anglo Americans who are trying to rid themselves of America and keep their slaves.
Speaker 2:Now, just for the people, the Anglo Americans. Exactly what is that? Where did they come from?
Speaker 1:They're Europeans that moved over and they're part of the trade. I mean, this is 1800s, so they're already like, established. So basically, they're people that came over from the American side into Mexican area of Texas and a lot of this was due to James Madison, because Mexico Texas Mexican Texas is what it keeps being called. What I saw through at the articles particularly was a home to a significant population of the illegal immigrants from the United States, with the majority of them being fucking illegal. Due to James Madison because he was profiting off the real estate that was being sold there.
Speaker 2:I gotta love James Madison. God, that is the whitest sounding dude.
Speaker 1:He was a president.
Speaker 2:I know, but look at his name, it's just James Madison. Of course he was white Ian, that's true, that's true, how else could you be a president? Of America. We've only done that differently one time.
Speaker 1:Now, among these immigrants from America to Mexico, texas, were individuals who brought sizable numbers of enslaved people, totaling around 5000 enslaved people in a non-native population of a little bit more than 38,000 people.
Speaker 2:It's a big percentage.
Speaker 1:It really is Now accustomed to a federalist system that granted them exemptions from Mexican laws, including permissions for slavery. These settlers absolutely fucking hated Mexico's enforcement of law and it shifted, and it's shift towards centralization. So they're just like no, no, no, no, he's a dictator and he wants progress. He wants to actually make Mexico profitable and not have slaves. And then also, we have to get papers to migrate here, even though this is. I was here for a week, I belong here. Potatoes don't even have dicks.
Speaker 2:What's up with all these dictators going around? Come on Now, the abolition of local exemptions permitting slavery, negotiated by figures like Stephen Fuller Austin, which is AKA the father of Texas.
Speaker 1:The father of Texas Daddy.
Speaker 2:So old Texan unrest right. So Mexican authorities blame much of the tension on United States immigrants who, undocumented and resistant to Mexican culture, continued to practice slavery despite its abolition in Mexico.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a good thing. America has really learned to embrace change and progress since this time. Yeah, man, that's us. We are really good about just accepting change. One united people.
Speaker 2:One united people, one united people.
Speaker 1:One thought. We're here for all people, right? Yeah, that's how we work nowadays. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:You'd think so. In response to the mounting grievances, Texians clashed with Mexican troops in October, marking the inaugural official battle of the Texas Revolution. Now, the clash was a bit trivial overall, Like the Mexicans went to retrieve a cannon they had lent the settlers years prior to fend off Native Americans, and then the Texians yelled at the Mexicans come and take it. There were either one or two Mexican deaths and a Texian left with a bloody nose.
Speaker 1:Ooh, I don't know if they ended up successfully getting that cannon either. I don't think they did. That sounds about right.
Speaker 2:Now Santa Ana. Aiming to suppress the Anglo-American immigration rebel sorry, the Anglo-American immigrant rebellion mobilized a significant force called the Army of Operations in Texas. However, this force was mostly inexperienced recruits, many of whom who had been, you know, forcibly conscripted.
Speaker 1:Yeah, part of that whole dictator. Yeah, I was going to say that that rolls right on back to that dictatorship.
Speaker 2:Those damn potato penises, man.
Speaker 1:Hey, you want to be in the Army? No, not really. I've got a lot of farming to do.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the Army.
Speaker 1:Here's your rifle you start today. The Texians steadily overcame the Mexican troops stationed in Texas, and they had gotten a pretty big victory when General Martín Perfecto de Cos surrendered on December 9th after the siege of Bexar.
Speaker 2:Well, that wasn't very perfect though of them.
Speaker 1:I know I kept this David there because I'm like it's hilarious.
Speaker 2:His parents really had the audacity to be like, yeah, Martin's perfect. I actually know if that's what that means. That's just my English speaking. It's Martín Martín Perfecto de Cos.
Speaker 1:At this point the Texian army was mainly made up of recent arrivals, primarily illegal immigrants, once again from the United States. Just going to continue hitting that on the head.
Speaker 2:That needs to be hit on the head because we need to get these goddamn immigrants out of our goddamn country. Huh, does that sound familiar? Does that ring true to anybody out there? Have you heard?
Speaker 1:that before. I was just wondering. Now, many original Texan settlers, who were unprepared for the prolonged conflict, had taken off and left the area. They saw what was happening, they read the writing on the wall and they're like nope Me as fuck, that would be me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, no, I'm going to go back to Florida.
Speaker 1:Wait wait, wait. The Mexicans want their shit back. They don't like slavery.
Speaker 2:How many of them?
Speaker 1:They want progress. Oh, there's a lot more than us here. That's where I would be like that would be.
Speaker 2:my thing is like I'm outnumbered as fuck. Let's fucking tip out. It doesn't matter if I agree with them or not. If I'm outnumbered, I'm out of there.
Speaker 1:Now Santa Ana was pissed off by what he perceived as a US interference in Mexican affairs, so he declared that foreign immigrants fighting in Texas were pirates forbidding the taking of prisoners, which is crazy, which is one hell of a thing that they definitely kept to do.
Speaker 2:Well, what's?
Speaker 1:even better is this next part. This decree was delivered in a strongly worded letter to the US president, Andrew Jackson, although it was not circulated at all.
Speaker 2:To his credit. I mean, if you were the president, like would you tell your troops hey, by the way, I'm sending you here and if you get caught they're going to kill you?
Speaker 1:Well, the thing is is, he doesn't care at this point, because Texas ain't a US colony.
Speaker 2:I didn't even think of that. He doesn't give a shit.
Speaker 1:He's like fuck these guys. He goes there's like maybe a thousand guys down there, whatever. Now, it's doubtful that the that most US recruits in the Texian army were aware of this. No prisoners of war policy.
Speaker 2:They became aware real quick.
Speaker 1:Real quick. The thing is, what like the purpose was was like hey, we sent a letter to your president saying we're going to fucking kill you if you stay here. And did you know that? Did you know that Did?
Speaker 2:you know that.
Speaker 1:You're president that you're evading could have protected you, but you fucked him over, yeah. With taxes and keeping your fucking slaves? Yeah, wow.
Speaker 2:So as Mexican troops vacated San Antonio, texian soldiers seized the Mexican garrison at the Alamo mission. Originally a Spanish religious outpost, the Alamo had been converted into a makeshift fort after the expulsion of the Mexican army. The Alamo was super ill equipped to face an artillery equipped army. So it covered like about three acres with almost 1,300 feet of perimeter. The compound had an interior plaza flanked by the chapel and the one story low barracks to the south, and then it was connected by a wooden palisade. The two-story long barracks extended north from the chapel, while a cattle pen and a horse corral occupied the northern corner. I hope you guys were drawing a map while.
Speaker 1:I was doing that. Try to give you a nice picture of what's happening here.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, you got to draw it, you know.
Speaker 1:To really understand, the biggest part about this first finish, finish, finish yeah.
Speaker 2:So the walls, which were nine to 12 feet high and at least 2.75 feet thick, enclose the entire complex. To compensate for the absence of fire firing ports, texian engineer Greenby Jamison constructed catwalks allowing defenders to shoot over the walls, though this left them exposed. What's hilarious about that is it didn't just leave them exposed, it was like they were waist high.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they were super high. Yeah, they were like waist high on these guys, like why'd you build it that high? You literally could have just lowered it two feet and saved so many.
Speaker 2:Well, they probably would have ended up dead anyway.
Speaker 1:They would have dead up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but they would have killed a lot more of the Mexican army.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. They would have not been picked off nearly as easy.
Speaker 2:No, and additionally 19 cannons abandoned by the Mexican forces were installed along the walls, including a large 18 pounder brought by the New Orleans Grays, positioned in the southwest corner. Jay, when you say 18 pounder, like the cannon was 18 pounds, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 18 pounder or small cannon they probably fired 18 pound cannonballs, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, I was like, that's a really small cannon. It's like a little packet size, when it just kind of goes pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, shoots off like one chopped up horseshoe, and that's called it good.
Speaker 1:That's what I mean when I say 18 pounder yeah. So, it's the size of the cannons that can be fit into there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so Jameson confident. Is this the same guy that Jameson is named after? Because that's an Irish one? No, it's Green B Jameson.
Speaker 1:Ah okay, he's an engine. He's a Texian engineer, all right. So, jameson, he's the one that constructed the catwalks.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that were too tall, so everybody looks at that looks at that and is like, yeah, we'll trust this guy with our fucking artillery. Jameson confidently claimed to Texian Army commander Sam Houston that their artillery could overcome a tenfold force.
Speaker 1:Bullshit Wrong, bullshit Incorrect, incorrect assumption. He was so wrong.
Speaker 2:Now maybe if it was used properly it might have stood a little bit more of a chance, but like it just didn't have ammunition.
Speaker 1:No, they didn't have enough fucking go-outers. They didn't go out to fucking collect ammunition, they just kind of huddled there and sent like one or two guys.
Speaker 2:They wasted half of it on fucking warning shots.
Speaker 1:So by January 6th 1836, the Texian garrison at the Alamo faced pretty shitty circumstance. Pretty shitty, With fewer than 100 soldiers and severely limited provisions that would be so scary to be them.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Cause you're just there.
Speaker 2:And there's 99 of your other buddies.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's not what it is now. Now there's a huge, thriving city around the, around the Alamo. Back then there was nothing. It was the Alamo and then a couple little. It was like a little village.
Speaker 2:I just think 100 Texians up on the wall, 100 Texians.
Speaker 1:Damn, take one down, pass it around 99.
Speaker 2:Texians up on the wall. Okay, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Speaker 1:Take one down, put a musket to their face.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just blow their fucking head off and take no prison. Every cent of the song right there.
Speaker 1:Now acting commander, colonel James C Neal, sent out for help because they only had 100 people there and they're like uh, we need more men.
Speaker 2:Now they only got like 99.
Speaker 1:So he sent people out urging for additional troops and supplies. Now they do have 99. However, the Texian government was a disarray at this time, with internal conflicts over army command making any subnet, making any substantial assistance to the Alamo Absolutely impossible. Yeah, cause there was different groups, like everywhere. Well, because so is what's basically happening at this point is the little squirmish happen where the Mexican troops tried to skirmish, squirmish.
Speaker 2:They were squirming around. You saw me sipping my wine and then almost have it come out my nose when you squirmish it. Such a cute name.
Speaker 1:They got the. They got the. They were going after that one cannon. The Texians were like no, come and take it. They got into a fight, they killed two Mexicans. Santa Ana was like boom, texas revolution happening now.
Speaker 1:And we're taking back our fucking land. And the Texians are like, oh, we need to establish our own government. And that's where, like David Crockett and these guys come in and they're like we could be president of the Texas area. Yeah, that's what they wanted to be, except they wanted to be fucking called emperor of Texas or some shit. And then it's such a Texan thing. And then, um, texan fans, we love you to death. So that's kind of where they're at now. Is the people, because a lot of these, um, uh, texian army soldiers are family members of people who are fighting for the Mexican army. So they're like there is relationship, blood that is, between these people. Yeah, so that's kind of where we're at right now. Just to kind of give you a little bit of a sum up and catch up here Now. And so that's why the Texian government was under disarray, because they're like I want to be the emperor.
Speaker 1:No, I want to be the emperor, I want to be the king, I want to be the monarch Now, amid this turmoil, neil sought help from Sam Houston, but due to insufficient manpower, houston only sent out Colonel James Bowie With 30 men to retrieve the Alamo artillery and dismantle the fort. Because at this point they're like okay, like this isn't going to be a good spot, like it's not meant for battle. Yeah so, but however, logistical constraints prevented the removal of the artillery. Bowie eventually recognized the strategic importance of the location and emphasized to Governor Henry Smith that relinquishing the Alamo to Santa Ana would compromise Texas's defense. So that's why they stuck out at this really shitty defense point.
Speaker 2:And it wasn't a great spot, it's just the actual fort itself was terrible. Yeah, it was fucking like it was thrown together overnight, almost Exactly.
Speaker 1:It was all for thick, but not that thick, and they're like okay, there's a hundred men down there, what do we do? Do we just send a bunch of resources down there Provisions, more men, cattle, food, ammo, more guns, more cannons or do we just tell them to get the fuck out of there and we'll just set up a defense at a better defense spot? And they're like well, this is pretty strategic to us. And so they're like, okay, we'll fight. At this point, bowie and Neil vowed to defend the Alamo at all costs. Efforts to reinforce the garrison weren't looking too great because, with only a small group of volunteers volunteers arriving, including William B Travis and the renowned David Crockett- what do you mean?
Speaker 2:they weren't looking too great, cooper, they had catwalks.
Speaker 1:They had catwalks. They had catwalks. Green B Jameson is over there, like I built that I did that.
Speaker 2:We're going to fucking die Now.
Speaker 1:I'm going to go. On February 11th, neil left to gather reinforcements and supplies, transferring command to Travis, but the volunteer dominated garrison wasn't too keen about accepting him as their leader. Apparently, travis was kind of an asshole, yeah, and so instead they elected James Bowie because he was like such a fucking phenomenal fighter.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's the warrior's man.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly so. This caused some initial tension in the camp, and so eventually Bowie agreed to share command with Travis.
Speaker 2:He's not all brute he does have some brain.
Speaker 1:Well, he's like fine, we can just be co-captain, co-captain.
Speaker 2:And then he like whispers, to like his right hand man.
Speaker 1:He's like but really I'm fucking running the show.
Speaker 2:We know who the fuck's in charge here, man, uh-huh. So meanwhile, santa and a master sizeable force at the San Luis Potosi, yes, yes, increasing his army to over 6,000 soldiers by the end of 1835. That's a lot of soldiers, it's a lot Compared to the Alamo. See the amount of people. Santa Ana chose an inland route to march his men towards Bexar, training his forced recruits during the journey.
Speaker 1:Now Bexar is the county right below the Alamo, which is now all basically San Antonio, texas, right, right.
Speaker 2:The Mexican army encountered difficulties including shortage of supplies, desertions by teamsters and harsh weather conditions, with temperatures hitting record lows and heavy snowfall.
Speaker 1:I don't know if y'all have ever spent a winter in a desert. It's fucking cold and miserable it is. It is so horrible, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, certain deserts, nine times always miserable in the desert, yeah, yeah, certain deserts, for sure that, this area being one of them. Now, illnesses like dysentery and raids by the Comanche groups took a toll on the soldiers that were marching. That's so scary, yeah.
Speaker 1:They're just getting raided by Comanches, comanches coming at you. You got dysentery happening. You got just all these. I mean snow in the whole time. Snow in the whole time.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, so on February 21, santa Ana's vanguard approached the Medina River, 25 miles from Bexar. Now, unaware of the impending threat, the majority of the Alamo, garrison and Bexar residents were engaged in a celebration. Santa Ana attempted to seize the unprotected Alamo, but a sudden downpour prevented the raid.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they were just out there partying. They didn't know what was happening. They're like, hey, we're partying, we can do shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, wasn't the party kind of in celebration of a homeboy taking charge?
Speaker 1:I remember there was no there was a news of another, because this was not the only battle that was happening at the time.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Texas Revolution. There was another one and the Texans had beaten another famous general, Mexican general.
Speaker 2:Yes, somewhere to the west?
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, and so that the news had just reached them that day, and so they partied that night, and if it wasn't a rain, santa Ana would have just came in clean house right there.
Speaker 2:If you say one thing about Texans, man, they always are looking for an excuse to party.
Speaker 1:Are they? Is that, is that accurate?
Speaker 2:Apparently they're like oh, somebody won a battle 200 miles away from here. Fuck yeah, let's get drunk.
Speaker 1:Essentially, essentially, which is kind of funny because they knew that these guys were on their way because the whole town is evacuated and they're like let's get fucked up One more night.
Speaker 2:One more night. Let's hit the town. Surely they won't get here this quick. Let's raid the empty saloon.
Speaker 1:So on the morning, on the early morning of February 23rd, people started leaving Bexar because they were scared of the Mexican army that was on its way. Travis wasn't completely convinced, so he had a soldier watch from the San Fernando Church Tower, which was the highest spot in the area for any signs of the army. A few hours later, texans scouts said that they saw the Mexican troops about one and a half miles outside of town. Up to this point they hadn't really prepared for a long fight, which why they knew that they were like down people. They knew that they didn't have provisions and they're like. They just were so slow about shit. And well, honestly, the Mexican government, or the Texan government attempted government at the time was all in disarray, so they couldn't do shit.
Speaker 2:Right. I mean once they were there could have done a little bit, though, like it could have at least gotten the cows inside before this moment.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they could have done a few things. It just I feel like they had a lot more time to prepare and they didn't do it well, you know. So some Texans rushed to get cattle inside of the Alamo and other search and food for food in the empty houses that were left behind. Some of the garrison folks who had been living in the town brought their families with them when they went to the Alamo, but some of the other garrison members didn't show up for their duty. Most of the guys working outside the Bexar didn't try to, didn't try to sneak past the Mexican lines and just headed for safe ground.
Speaker 2:To be fair, like what are you going to do? Be like hey guys, excuse me, oops, sorry, let me just bump through here. Yeah, no, I'm just headed over there to my army. Just headed over there to my army, don't pay me no mind. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because it's what uh Santana was doing essentially with his army was he was encircling the entire Alamo, yeah, and so he just like everything was starting to get cut off and people who were outside that point when he came in, because he was just sneaking along through the night, and by this point they're like there's a fucking army between us and the Alamo. Guess, I'm going this way, yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, what else are you really gonna do? Start?
Speaker 1:a ride. No, you're gonna die. You're gonna die or you're gonna get taken prisoner and nobody's getting taken prisoner. So yeah, but they probably didn't know that yet though. Yeah, so they are cowards. Those cowards.
Speaker 2:So by late afternoon about 1500 Mexican soldiers were in Bexar. Okay, get that.
Speaker 1:We went from 6,000 down to 1500.
Speaker 2:1500. On this fucking march.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And that's because, not, that's not just deaths, that's obviously because of desertions and things like that, but that's mostly a big part.
Speaker 1:Yeah, most of these people were brand new recruits or forcibly conscribed into the army Right, so not a lot of people were like, hey, yeah, let's do this battle. Most people like get me the fuck out of here. Yeah, like why am?
Speaker 2:I here. So when the Mexican troops raised a red flag, which meant no mercy, travis shot the Alamos biggest cannon in response towards the flag. Now, bowie, the other leader, didn't like how quickly Travis did that, so we sent Green B Jameson. Green B Jameson, this fucking guy, bro, this fucking guy.
Speaker 1:You guys won't believe the engineering I am. You actually see my fucking catwalk. You think you're gonna beat us with this kind of a catwalk? Good, my men, look over there. You can see their full body. Oh fuck, you can see their full body Shit. What's the average?
Speaker 2:height of a Texian. So he said Green B Jameson to talk to Santa Anna. Now Travis got mad that Bowie did this without asking, so he sent his own guy, Captain Albert Martin, to talk to. This is so. It's just a measuring of dicks and then and then fucking using messenger men.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and the Mexican dude over here is just like what? What the fuck is happening with you people? These two guys are just standing there like we're in charge, we're the I'm the guy, no, I'm the guy Like come on, man. So both guys talked to Colonel Juan Alamonte and Jose Bartres. Alamonte Alamonte, not Alamonte Alamonte said that the Texian asked, or the Texians asked, to surrender, respectfully, but they were told that surrender had to be total. When Bowie and Travis found out, they both aligned their dicks and agreed to fire the cannon again towards the red flag Instead of swinging them at each other.
Speaker 2:They just started helicoptering on the fucking parapet up there.
Speaker 1:Here's my confusion, though At this point, when these two guys go out to meet these two colonels, they have to see the size of the army and they only have like a few hundred people Like like yeah, turn and run Turn and run at this point.
Speaker 2:Like because at the end of the story. That's not honorable.
Speaker 1:But at the other story, they're all dead, they're all dead. Didn't pan out Well for everybody.
Speaker 2:A little bit of a spoiler alert. So during the first night of the siege not really much happened, right but? But through the next few nights the Mexican soldiers got closer and closer to the Alamo walls. They were actually like literally sneaking their artillery closer and closer every single night which is kind of funny.
Speaker 1:It's kind of scary, to be honest, super creepy, like you go to bed, and then you wake up the next day and the cannons are so much closer, like 50 yards closer, yeah, terrifying.
Speaker 2:Each night the Mexican army would reposition their cannons and fire them the next day. So more than 200 cannonballs hit the Alamos Plaza within the first week. The Texians fired their cannons back, which was kind of fucking dumb. But Travis eventually told them to save their ammo, which was smart.
Speaker 1:They didn't have a lot of ammo.
Speaker 2:No, that is in limited supply.
Speaker 1:Now, on February 24th, Bowie got really sick. I don't know from what, but he got sick and Travis took over as the leader. Later that day, two Mexican scouts were killed, marking the first deaths of the siege. The next morning, around 200 to 300 Mexican soldiers went across the San Antonio River and hid in empty shacks near the Alamo walls. Some Texians actually spotted them and went out to burn the shacks while they were inside, and the other members from the Alamo started shooting at the house to keep them in there while they were trying to burn it down. Got it Fucking scary. War is terrifying, terrifying. After a fight. After that fight lasted a couple of hours, the Mexican soldiers went back to Bexar. No one was killed, it seems like.
Speaker 2:Oh no, I was going to say yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sorry. In total six Mexicans were killed, four were hurt, but no Texians got hurt in that one. Yeah, kind of had the upper hand because they're like, hey, well, they were just shooting over their wall.
Speaker 2:You know with their upper half of their body exposed. It's so much room to stand. Yeah, they had a couple guys out there lighting fires like I mean, come on.
Speaker 1:Now the weather plays a condition in here, because on February 25th they got fucking cold, cold, cold, and neither side was ready for it. I bet you he got pneumonia. Honestly, it sets the perfect conditions to get it. Yeah, I bet you he got pneumonia, because he ends up dying in his bed, sick, basically they.
Speaker 2:there's a few ways that they think that he's. Yeah, it's a convoluted thing with his death, but yeah, keep going.
Speaker 1:Now the Texans tried to get firewood, but the Mexican soldiers stopped them. They're like no, no, no, no, no, you deal with that Like you're going to deal with your cold tonight.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And honestly what? Why didn't they bring firewood? Why did they cut down some of the fences?
Speaker 2:Yeah, like anything. There was so much preparation that could have been done, but you know that this long standing conflict is on its way. You know what I mean. Like you know it's on its way. Why did you not prepare? Why were you partying the night before? What the? They didn't teach me any of this in fucking middle school. They were like they were so brave. No, they were fucking stupid. They were most stupid and very brave.
Speaker 1:Most of these people at the Alma were volunteers and, like new recruits, I'm talking about the leadership.
Speaker 2:Oh, basically well, that's.
Speaker 1:It's all big dick swinging contest on the Texan side, exactly, everybody wants to be the fucking leader, everybody's probably. I mean the internal conflict that was probably happening between the men during this time was probably insane yeah because there's probably 50% of the men want this guy, 50% want this guy.
Speaker 2:It's like its own little skirmish inside of the walls.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. We can't take down the fence. The cows will get everywhere in here and I'll step and shit will fire in my rifle ball, being waist high above the wall.
Speaker 2:I'd rather step and shit than get a bullet to the bed.
Speaker 1:I'm just gonna say Now there was a series of small skirmishes that in the following days and by March 1st, nine Mexicans had died or were hurt and only one Texan had died.
Speaker 2:See so far, so good. If they could keep that up, they might win.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah so only like yeah, so they did all right, they was good, good numbers. Yeah, they did good numbers on this point.
Speaker 2:But then things started happening.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Santa Ana placed a company of men to the east of the Alamo, on the way to Gonzalez, which is another town.
Speaker 1:Yeah, not a person. No.
Speaker 2:No, I actually misread that when I read the script the first time and thought it was the different.
Speaker 1:Tony Gonzalez from Kansas City Chiefs yeah, tony, actually from the Atlanta Falcons, I know.
Speaker 2:I still love me some, I do too. Alamante, and 800 Dragoons were stationed along the road to Goliath, another town. Yes, travis kept sending messages to these towns asking for help throughout the the siege. So you know, placing those men at those roads made it pretty hard to get a message out. It did. By the end of the first day of the siege, santa Ana's troops got stronger, with 600 more men, making the Mexican army over 2000 strong. One of Travis's most famous messages, written on February 24th, was called Draw the People of Texas and All Americans in the World. It was praised as a masterpiece of American patriotism, even though they weren't Americans.
Speaker 1:Even though they did not want to be part of America. They're like ah, it's way better over there.
Speaker 2:Shit, shit. Okay, maybe we should just go back Now. Copies of this letter were shared all over Texas and later reprinted in the United States and even in Europe.
Speaker 1:The letter reads To all the inhabitants of Texas. In a few words, there is 2000 Mexican soldiers in Bexar and 150 Americans in the Alamo. Cessma is at the head of them and, from best accounts that can be obtained, they intend to show no quarter. If every man cannot turn out to a man, every man in the Alamo will be murdered. They have no more than eight or 10 days provisions. They say they will defend it or die on the ground. Provisions, ammunition and men, or suffer your men to be murdered in the fort. If you do not turn out, texas is gone.
Speaker 2:Texas was already trying to be gone. I'm just gonna say it Texas was already trying to get out the door and now that they're out the door, oh no. Trying to get back in and the door locked behind them.
Speaker 1:I love how America just reprinted this. I mean it had to be a political statement at the time of like look at our men and how the glory and da, da, da, da yeah. Because, like well, think about what we were taught in middle school, oh yeah, Absolutely, and it's just like, praised as a masterpiece of American patriotism when these men didn't want to be part of America.
Speaker 2:And they all had slaves. So as word spread about the siege across Texas, possible reinforcements gathered in Gonzalez. See now, that would have been a weird sentence if it was a person.
Speaker 1:Gonzalez was having a good old time.
Speaker 2:So they were waiting for Colonel James Fannin, who was supposed to come from Goliad with his soldiers on February 26th. After a lot of back and forth, fannin ordered 320 men, four cannons and some supply wagons to head towards the Alamo, which was about 90 miles away. But and here's the kicker this group barely went a mile before turning back one fucking mile.
Speaker 1:They're like no.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're not completely sure what happened. But? But Fannin said that the retreat was because of his officers, and then the officers blamed him for stopping the mission. So I'm going to go ahead and say the officers were probably telling the truth.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, I definitely think so. I think Fannin looked at this and he goes why am I sending there's 2000 Mexicans down there? Yeah, I'm sending 300 men. No, I'm just going to keep y'all here because I might have to have a civil war against my own Texian guy, so that I can get into like a better political position to become the Presidente or Emperor of Texas.
Speaker 2:I love that term the Emperor of Texas.
Speaker 1:So Texians in Gonzales didn't know Fannin had gone back to Goliad, so most of them kept waiting. Travis got impatient and on February 27th he sent Samuel G Bastion to Gonzales to hurry up the reinforcements. Bastion met Lieutenant George C Kimball and Travis's courier, albert Martin, who were tired of waiting for Fannin. Now when a Mexican patrol attacked these men, four men, including Bastion, got driven away Now in the dark. The Texians thought the remaining 32 men were Mexican soldiers, so they fired at them. One got hurt and when they cursed out in English saying gosh darn it, gosh darn it, motherfucker, the Texians realized their mistake and let them in.
Speaker 2:It's so fucking funny to be like. I'm just trying to picture that moment in my head and I know it's not funny. It's actually kind of scary and sad. Oh yeah, but it's kind of comical, because they're just shooting at this random group of moving shadows and all they hear is God fucking, damn it, motherfucker. Well, they didn't really have that, I know.
Speaker 1:I know it wasn't really around then.
Speaker 2:Two hour, modernizing it a little bit, a little bit.
Speaker 1:Dang nabba you son of a gun Flabbergast and rabbit snatchers. If they did say son of a bitch, that's a real insult of term. Remember Billy the Kid. Yeah. Killed somebody because of it, son of a bitch. On March 3rd the Texians saw about 1000 Mexicans come into Bexar. The Mexican soldiers celebrated loudly, happily about the reinforcements and hearing the news that Texian colonel Frank W Johnson had been defeated at the Battle of San Printerso on February 27th. Patricio, patricio, there we go, sorry. Okay, now with the new soldiers.
Speaker 2:There were nearly 3100 Mexican soldiers in Bexar against 150 so-called Americans 150 people who weren't Mexican but weren't American, didn't want to be American, but now they want to be American again.
Speaker 1:There was like a 20% of them that were Mexican, for sure, and a few slaves. Yeah, there were a few slaves, because Santa Ana ends up sparing one?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know he does it's. Wasn't it Travis's or was it Bowie's slave? It was one of those two slaves.
Speaker 1:We'll talk about it towards the end, yeah, when we get there Now. Travis then sent three guys, including Davy Crockett, to find Fanon's group, thinking that they were still on their way. Little did they know Fanon was a bitch and turned his mid around. The Scouts found a bunch of Texians camped 20 miles away from the Alamo. Some of these men came from Goliad after Fanon's mission stopped, and the rest left Gonzalez a few days earlier. Before dawn the next day, on March 4th, part of the Texian group got through the Mexican lines and went into the Alamo. They actually don't know how they made it through the Mexican line because, like at this point, santa Ana had everything encircled.
Speaker 1:And so somehow they snuck through the line and these few guys ended up making it through and making it into the fort to help out.
Speaker 2:They probably just tried to dress as civilians and just wander through. I don't think. No, santa Ana, wasn't it?
Speaker 1:was like a no in no out policy Like it was yeah, because there were a few times when people did try to actually come in and Santa Ana was like no, just like. Or the soldiers were like no, like, you don't want to be in there because if you're in there. You're now pirate, and then we got to kill you. Yeah you don't want to be there. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Interesting Wow. On March 4th Santa Ana suggested attacking the Alamo after getting reinforcements, but a senior officers thought they should wait for two big cannons coming on.
Speaker 1:March 7th. Yeah, I think they were another 18 or 19 pounders. Yeah, Huge huge.
Speaker 2:That evening a local woman which we think maybe Boie's cousin in law, juana Navarro Alsbury. She tried to talk Santa Ana into letting the Alamo people surrender. Now some historians think this actually made Santa Ana more impatient. They said he didn't want an easy win. He wanted a big fight for the glory of fucking course.
Speaker 1:The next morning dictator like all over. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. The next morning Santa Ana told his team they'd attack early on March 6th. Now legend says that on March 5th Travis told his men about the attack coming and how outnumbered they were. He drew a line and asked who'd fight with him for Texas? He drew a line in the sand. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he drew a line in the sand. He really took out the oomph. I was ramping up.
Speaker 1:I know I'm so sorry. Do we want to re-reump?
Speaker 2:Now, legend says that on March 5th Travis told his men about the attack coming and how outnumbered they were. He drew a line in the sand and asked who'd fight with him for Texas. Supposedly, only one guy, moses Rose, didn't cross the line, but many historians say that this story isn't reliable. Instead, the actual event was more like right before the final attack. Travis just kind of gathered his men and told them the situation was bad, and then he gave them a choice to escape or stay and fight for Texas.
Speaker 1:Yep Sounds way more realistic, way more likely.
Speaker 2:I mean, we all know how drawing a line in the sand works for every man. You know what I mean. Big controversy all this stuff. James Allen was actually the last Texian known to have left the Alamo and he carried personal messages from Travis and some others on March 5th.
Speaker 1:Now, at 10 pm on March 5th, the Mexican artillery stopped shooting. Many of the Texians, tired from the constant noise, finally slept without interruption for the first time in days. That kind of tired is so real Like your body will just shut down.
Speaker 2:If you're surrounded by a lot of people trying to murder you and the only thing that allows you to sleep is the ceasefire of cannons, you're probably been awake for a long time and you're going to pass the fuck out. It was actually super smart on.
Speaker 1:Santa Ana's part. Oh, absolutely, but just past midnight more than 2,000 Mexican soldiers got ready for their final attack. About 1,800 of them were split into four groups. The more experienced soldiers were on the edges to control the newer soldiers in the middle. Hey, quit picking your fucking nose Barry. Yeah, it'd be, juan, alright.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sorry.
Speaker 1:Quit picking your fucking nose, juan. To stop anyone from escaping, 500 Mexican cavalry surrounded the Alamo Santa Ana with 400 reserves. Stayed back in camp, even though it was freezing. The soldiers were told not to wear overcoats that could slow them down.
Speaker 2:Which is so fuckingit's like look man, you're already walking in a straight line just packed in like sardines, like you're not going anywhere quick. There's no way you're going anywhere quick. What is an?
Speaker 1:overcoat going to really do Can't be a worm Now at 5.30 am. The soldiers moved silently through the night. One group went to the northwest corner of the Alamo, while another group aimed for a hole they'd fixed in the north wall. The third group marched towards the east wall and the fourth group headed up for the lower part, near the chapel Three.
Speaker 2:Texian guards outside the walls were killed in their sleep, letting the Mexican soldiers sneak close to the walls without being noticed. Then everything got loud. The Mexican soldiers shouted VIVO, santa ANNA. And that must have felt so good for. Santa Ana. He's like, ah yeah, that's me, that's fucking me. And then thethethebuglers.
Speaker 1:Buglers, the buglers, the buglers, they're like they're brassaged.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, okay, okay, the buglers, the buglers. Thank you. I was like what the fuck is a bugler, the buglers. I really hope I'm right on that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you are. And the buglers roared, yes, and they're meant to sound for thethe happening of war. Yeah, it's like the brass instrument, the horns, so to speak.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah, that was more of like a royal announcement thing. Oh, that's what you were doing, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:That's not how it happened to you it was really good man.
Speaker 2:So the noise woke the Texians up. Imagine that Most noncombatants huddled together in the church to stay safe. Travis rushed to his post, yelling for everyone to get ready to fight and to not give up. At the start of the attack, mexican troops had some trouble. Their formation meant only the soldiers in the front rows could safely fire. But the new recruits didn't know the risks and just went ahead and shot their guns without aiming that much Sometimes they're. Sometimes they would end up shooting their own men in the back of their fucking heads.
Speaker 1:That were in front of them. Yeah, there was a lot of this.
Speaker 2:Imagine being a Texian on the wall. You know waist high and we just look out and you see the front rows of these fucking golems just collapsing with the back of their heads bulged her out because they're just getting shot by their own people.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and keep in mind, you're not getting shot with, like a modern bullet, no, you're getting shot with a musket ball. Yeah, little shrapnel bits essentially Just going into you from behind.
Speaker 2:So the Texians actually ended up using anything metal they could find as ammo for their cannons, since they didn't have canister shot left. They even used door hinges, nails and chopped up horseshoes. Hence my statement earlier. The Texian cannons hit hard, replicating the blast of a ginormous, motherfucking shotgun Taking out tons of the Mexican soldiers.
Speaker 1:So some of the eyewitness accounts and gosh darn it what.
Speaker 2:You see somebody get blasted by a door hinge.
Speaker 1:Oh, they said that it would just take out like a whole flank of men just because of all the shrapnel that just shot out. It's I mean. Canons are scary, bro. It's scary and when you're just, it reminds me of the Pirates of the Caribbean scene when they're just throwing the fucking silverware in the cannon and shooting it and like the fork gets suckered in front of the guy's face. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Or it gets stuck in his glass eye or whatever it is right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, Classic. So that's what was happening to these Mexican soldiers. Hopefully, none of them had glass eyes Right Now. Although some Mexican soldiers at the front hesitated, the ones behind them pushed on which, by the way, I don't know if this is in the I don't think this is in the script, but when they would do this, it created a crush effect. Oh yeah, because the ones at the front started trying to turn back a little bit or slow down, and then the ones behind kept pushing, so they kept crushing up like sardines and they just kept unloading cannons into the fucking crowd and it just casualties, casualties, casualties, casualties, casualties.
Speaker 2:and they're just maiming and all of this stuff happening inside of this cannon sardines Accidentally getting bayoneted, yeah, exactly. Accidentally getting bayoneted, but because it's a crush effect. We all know what happened to the Travis Scott concert. You know what I mean? Yeah, now multiply that by a bunch of dudes with fucking bayonets and shrapnel getting shot at them from the cannon.
Speaker 1:I don't know how to fire a rifle.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then they're getting blasted from behind. It was just not a good look for the Mexican.
Speaker 1:This is probably why, oh man, we're going to get into it at the end.
Speaker 2:They're just so lucky that they had so many fucking people, because if they didn't, they would have just been fucked yeah.
Speaker 1:They were upset too, and we'll talk about that at the end.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so the Mexicans were basically up to the walls and the Texians had to lean over the walls to shoot. Thank God they were waist high, Because the other ones they wouldn't have been able to do that.
Speaker 1:Oh no, jay, you know what Green B Jameson was really thinking that God he really was.
Speaker 2:That's what he was thinking of. He's like well, no, they'll get to the wall.
Speaker 1:That's what it is. We got to lean over and shoot them down that way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that made them very easy targets for the Mexican soldiers, because literally the Mexican soldiers at the bottom of the wall just looking straight up and they see a head poke over.
Speaker 1:They're like blast them. So anyways, I started blasting.
Speaker 2:That's a good dick.
Speaker 1:Thank you.
Speaker 2:Now, travis was shot actually while fighting atop the wall, because his upper half of his body was exposed and fell to the ground outside of the Alamo, so he basically kind of toppled over the wall with that shot. Now some stories, of course, say that he managed to draw his sword and kill a Mexican soldier. I even read one when I was doing my research. That was like he killed five men on his way down and then two more after hitting and.
Speaker 1:I'm like that's just not the case, that's just exactly false. But I would believe if he got up and killed one that's just randomly charged.
Speaker 2:Yeah, one or two, you know, because he is a badass. Don't get me wrong, he's still a badass. But also he's also just got shot and then fell nine feet down to the ground.
Speaker 1:He's basically falling into the Mexicans, where they all have bayonets.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he got skewered. We all know what happened?
Speaker 1:He died, yeah, very fast, very fast and bad. Oh god, that would suck.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, at least it was fast I guess At least it was fast. So, yeah, he ended up dying from the gunshot wound or bayonets or whatever. It was Bad death, bad death, quick death. Yes, the few Mexican soldiers who climbed up the ladders were quickly killed or pushed back. Now, as Texians tried to reload their guns, they actually struggled to keep the Mexican soldiers from climbing the wall, because there were so many of them, so many, it's like. It's like. It's like the zombie movie with Brad.
Speaker 2:Pitt See something, but we all know the one with Brad Pitt, where there are all the zombies are climbing on top of each other.
Speaker 1:Yeah Now. Mexican soldiers kept withdrawing, regrouping and trying to scale the walls again, but failing.
Speaker 2:I feel like failing here is like falling backwards onto bayonets.
Speaker 1:Onto. Yeah, like failing is death.
Speaker 2:Yeah, kind of or just getting lucky and not dying.
Speaker 1:And not dying and getting the wind knocked out of you or just falling on. I mean, it's just not funny.
Speaker 2:I just don't want to be in war ever.
Speaker 1:No, right now is the best time to be alive. Yeah, unless you're in for some people. Yeah, yeah, unless you're with the 33 countries that are currently in active war.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a lot of them. Now, about 15 minutes into the fight, they attacked a third time and had some success. One group aiming for the east wall was hit by cannon fire and moved north, joining another group that was attacking the north wall. The soldiers at the north wall saw the weak spots in the wall and started climbing up. When Santa Ana noticed that most of his army was at the north wall, he got a little worried and sent his reserves. So he had 400 reserves. Keep that in mind. Yeah, some Mexican soldiers climbed through the west wall's gunholes, which were not well guarded at this time, because the men in the Alma were spread thin yes, like super thin.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, there's only 150 people basically defending this. Defending against 2,000 men. Over a thousand foot per what, was it? 13,000 foot per meter or something like that.
Speaker 1:It's super big, yeah it needed to be smaller if they were really going to do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was not very thermopoly of them. No, it really was not.
Speaker 1:As the Texians left the north and parts of the west wall, those on the south end aimed their cannons north and shot at the Mexican soldiers. But that left the south end open and the Mexicans saw that and took advantage, super quick, scaled those walls and they killed the remaining gunners and took control of the 18 pound cannon that was sitting there.
Speaker 2:Meanwhile another group of men, not another 18 pound cannon.
Speaker 1:Oh no, it's an 18 pound cannon ball. I'm just now imagining them running around with little mini cannons.
Speaker 2:Like that cannon gun that you get on your arm in Assassin's Creed sometimes where it's just a little cannon on your arm Now.
Speaker 1:meanwhile, another group of men took the east wall and came in through the cattle pin as planned. Most of the Texians retreated to the barracks in Chapel where holes had been made in the wall to shoot from. Some Texians along the west wall tried to escape toward the San Antonio River. When the cavalry charged at them, they found cover from a ditch and started fighting and shooting them from there, but they were eventually outnumbered and killed. This clash evolved 50 Texians, though some historians believe that number was exaggerated because that's a lot of men running.
Speaker 2:Yeah to lose it. Well, that's a third of their guys.
Speaker 1:I mean it could have been. They did get sectioned off at this point, Like Alamo was getting taken over, and so there could have been a whole chunk of guys that were like this is we have to run. So, I mean it's possible that it could have been probably anywhere from 20 to 50 dudes over there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 20 to 50. Now others who were in the cattle pin moved into the horse corral. After firing their guns, they tried to escape over the low wall. They ran behind the church and dashed towards the empty East Prairie. When Mexican cavalry chased them, almaro Dickinson and his team turned a cannon around and fired at the cavalry, causing a bit of damage, but despite their efforts, all of the escaping Texians were killed, which is they're running away with the cannon.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like, yeah, like, that's Well drop the cannon Go for speed Wait they were running with the cannon.
Speaker 2:I don't think they were running with the cannon. I think they were getting covering fire from a cannon Right.
Speaker 1:I don't. I don't Maybe, because that's crazy. Why would they bring the cannon? Maybe they didn't, I don't know. It was Alamond. I don't know if Alam Shit I should have looked him up, mr Dickinson. I don't know if he and his team turned a cannon around and fired at the cavalry. We're just Okay, we're just gonna assume you're probably right, because why, the fuck would they be dragging a cannon along with them?
Speaker 2:I don't think they would be.
Speaker 1:Okay, we're gonna go with that, we're gonna go with that thought.
Speaker 2:But then Crockett and his men, davy Crockett. They were the last group to stay outside defending the low wall in front of the church. When they couldn't reload, they used their rifles as clubs and fought with their knives.
Speaker 1:Honestly, this part is just To be in that situation.
Speaker 2:I mean, what are you?
Speaker 1:gonna do, you're just gonna fight till you die.
Speaker 2:essentially, I mean you do Thought you could do.
Speaker 1:They do, but I mean just the ment Like the mentality of. Has to be so Like I don't even know where you're meant to stay.
Speaker 2:A million miles an hour. I mean, I'm sure everybody was in a different place mentally, but essentially your brain has now made the shift of I might make it to I'm dead, and now you're in fireflies.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're just, you're in complete survival instinct at this point. Yeah, 100%, because there's no other choice.
Speaker 2:Those dudes must have had the look of a starving bear in their fucking eyes. Man, oh gosh, it's a scary thought. So after Mexican soldiers fired and attacked with bayonets, the few remaining Texians from this group fell back towards the church. The Mexican army now had control of all the outer walls and most of the Alamo, except for the church and some rooms along the east and west walls. Was I know it's? I don't believe they know exactly where Crockett ended up dying. Right, Right, they didn't.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, I mean they. It's likely that it was the. Here, though, is where it was likely to have happened Exactly. There's other assumptions, but it's there's no proof to it Right Right. Um now. Mexican soldiers went after a Texian flag flying from one of the buildings. Four Mexicans were killed before they removed the Texian flag and raised the Mexican flag.
Speaker 2:Us humans are fucking symbols bro.
Speaker 1:It's all about flags man. It's all about flags. That's why we colonize so well. We showed up to a native tribe and we're like Do you have a flag? Can we colonize the moon? Yes, France's flag. This place is now France.
Speaker 2:And now it's New Orleans, and and now it's New Orleans.
Speaker 1:Hahaha. So For about an hour, the Mexican army worked to take complete control of the Alamo. Many of the remaining Texians were hiding in the fortified barracks rooms. Confused and rushed, the Texians forgot to sabotage their cannons before retreating. Mexican soldiers pointed these cannons at the barracks and they blew each fucking door off After they did. After they blew the door off, they came in, fired a volley of musket, shots into the dark rooms and then charged in with their bayonets for hand-to-hand combat and killing whoever remained in these barracks.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that's something that I read quite a bit. There's a lot of different theories on exactly what went down during this exact moment, but regardless it was disgusting and bad Because, keeping in mind, because, they're in the dark, hand-to-hand.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and these Mexicans, they're not only getting shot by the Americans or the Texians, they're also accidentally getting killed by their own men. Yeah, and then they're probably pissed off at these new recruits, pissed off at Santa Anna for bringing them along, and then pissed off for all the other deserters that came along the way. And they're getting. All these experienced guys are getting punished for this. So the rage that must have been going through their mind.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so they're just charging in like KRAAAA KAMEHAMEHOOOO.
Speaker 1:Hahaha, it's just insane. Now, buoy, he was the one that got sick earlier and he was still too sick to fight and he likely died in his bed. But there are different stories In the barracks. In the barracks, yeah. Now there are different stories about how he died. Some say that Mexican soldiers bayoneted him and then carried him out of his room alive, while others claim he shot himself or was killed by soldiers while too weak to move. I don't think he would have shot himself.
Speaker 1:I don't know, maybe Now most people think that he died sitting against a wall using his pistols and knife for protection.
Speaker 2:I feel like that's probably how it went down, or he was just too sick to even be conscious during this and actually they just killed him.
Speaker 1:I mean they probably just walked into the fucking room and shot him.
Speaker 2:Or didn't even know who the fuck he was.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he probably got like one shot off, and then they probably shot him and bayoneted him for good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when I say that that's likely, that he used his pistols and knife for protection, it didn't provide him much fucking protection. Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:So it's probably. His body was probably mutilated just about as much as that one guy at Black Hawk Down. Oh, so the last taxi in to die were the 11 men at the two cannons in the chapel. A shot from the 18 pound cannon destroyed the barricades at the front of the church and Mexican soldiers came in, started shooting and Dickinson's crew fired their cannon but couldn't reload fast enough. They grabbed and fired their rifles before they were bayoneted to fucking death. So much bayonetting it's I God. I would hate to be bayoneted.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because they're just getting stabbed a bunch of times.
Speaker 1:What's the movie 1884? I don't know. We watched it. No, it's the oh, it's the one where everything's shot.
Speaker 2:You just went through so many things right there. I know you just went through so many things. I think it's 1884.
Speaker 1:And it's about World War I, I think, or something happening in Germany. Anyways, it's one film, it's one shot, the entire film, and there's so much bayonetting that happens and there's a slow murder that happens at the top of this pole. God it should bayonetting get like it just sucks.
Speaker 2:We didn't watch this together.
Speaker 1:No, we watched all quiet in the.
Speaker 2:Western Crop. That's what I was thinking. That's the one that I've seen. Yeah, that one was also whoo, that one is crazy, because you realize it, because it like we're not nope, nope, nope, sorry. That's too much of a sidebar. That is a side all right, we're bringing it back bringing it back.
Speaker 1:These men were bayoneted to death. In that right, another Texian, robert Evans, tried to stop the gunpowder from getting into the Mexicans' hands. That was his one job. Yeah, was to keep it from getting into his hands. So what did he think of doing, cooper? Well, he was wounded and killed from a musket shot to the head, with his torch inches near the powder magazine, which means if he had succeeded, it would have caused an explosion that would have killed everyone hiding in the church, including the women and the children.
Speaker 2:But at least those Mexicans wouldn't have the gunpowder they already have plenty of.
Speaker 1:I don't know Like he must have just been in a hysteria of like there, there, like I-. This was my final order.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I need to solve this, honestly. And that's the only thing on it in his head. You know, it would have been such a sight.
Speaker 1:So could you imagine? That? Like sitting back, like from Santa Ana's perspective, watching this happen. You're definitely winning. Everybody's going in, going in, going in, and then all of a sudden, boom, fucking explosion just happened and you're like and I think we've done it.
Speaker 2:Well, I think we've won, and hats off to every soldier we just lost in that explosion. I don't know why he sounded like an old-timey American there, but God, that's so crazy as soldiers got close to the sac uh, Sacristi the.
Speaker 1:Sacristi or Sacristi It's-. I couldn't-. I don't know the pronunciation of this, but this room, it's a room in a church where the priest gets ready, Basically where he molests the newborn. The rape room. Yes, yeah, I like that. We both went there.
Speaker 2:So as the soldiers got close to the rape room, they mistook one of the young boys for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry, okay, alright, sorry. I just wasn't expecting that next line. I've read this, it just didn't hit me last time, as soldiers got close to the Sacristi, they mistook one of the young boys for an adult and they ended up killing him. And then the last Texian to die in battle might have been Jacob Walker, who actually tried to hide behind Susanna Dickinson and then was bayoneted in front of her.
Speaker 1:Susanna Dickinson is one of the she's important in this whole talk about her.
Speaker 2:I thought it was Bowie's or Travis's wife, wasn't it? I think it was Travis's. Yeah, yeah, yeah, look at me, remember yourself, no no, no, no, there's a dude.
Speaker 1:Fuck Mr Dickinson. Mr Dickinson died. I couldn't remember I couldn't pronounce his first name. Where's Dickinson? Dickinson Almorran? Oh yeah, elmiron Dickinson, he's the one that turned around and fired at the cavalry before the cavalry still killed all the men in the field.
Speaker 2:Yep, yep, yep. There you go, okay. And then another Texian, brigido Guerrero, hid in the sacristy. He had actually deserted from the Mexican army before, and then he convinced the soldiers that he was a Texian prisoner, so they spared him. What a smart fucking guy. I mean, at the end of the day, kind of a rat, but smart guy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, he's a survivor instinct, you know.
Speaker 2:And, like I said, kind of a rat but smart guy.
Speaker 1:I don't blame him. No, not a rat, he's a cockroach.
Speaker 2:Well, the cockroach yeah, that's a better way. That's a better way of putting it. By 6.30 am, the fighting was done. Mexican soldiers checked each body, stabbing anybody that moved, which we've all seen. The scene in 300 where they're going around after the battle and just stabbing people with spears and just having passive conversation.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. Like, and some guys, like I had to strain on my calf. No, not the man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, exactly. I'm glad we did that. Yep, that was good, that was a good bit. Yeah, I'm sure they thought so too. Even after all the Texians were dead, some soldiers actually kept shooting, some killing each other. In this confusion, generals actually tried to stop it, but it was complete chaos and it took Santa Anna showing himself and the bugles sound for retreat for the shooting to finally stop, which finally leave it to the instrumentalists. Man, they always know what to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they were 15 minutes and while this happened, like the soldiers were just firing bullets into the dead bodies yeah, now this is what I'm talking about is like when they were getting fired upon by their own men. They're getting crushed against the wall because of their own men pushing them up, yeah, and then they're getting fucking hit with these guys like the cannon fodder that, like the cannon that's coming at them but it's filled with forks and horseshoes and all sorts of shit and it's like the rage that had to have been going on and they're just taking it out on these bodies. This is just them like expelling all of that emotion that they that has just been going on for the past like 45 minutes to an hour.
Speaker 2:While it's dark and demented and gross when you think about it, I don't blame them necessarily.
Speaker 1:No, you're in an animalistic mindset, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:It's just humans being humans in their most survivalist point.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know what I mean Exactly.
Speaker 2:So I don't blame them. And the aftermath? Accounts differ on the fate of several Texians who surrendered. Between five and seven are believed to have given up. Santa Ana, infuriated that his orders were disobeyed, demanded their immediate execution.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I just yeah.
Speaker 2:Santa Ana, despite the victory, seemed dismissive of the battle's significance. In his report, he claimed that 600 Texians were killed, with minimal losses on the Mexican side. That's it.
Speaker 1:That's so funny, but the years were like minimal losses, minimal losses but, the numbers, like they vary so much.
Speaker 2:The estimates of Mexican casualties range from 60 to 200 dead and 250 to 300 wounded. However, historians generally agree that the number was likely between 400 and 600, a significant portion of the assaulting force. Eyewitnesses counted between 182 and 257 Texians killed, with speculation that at least one, henry Warnell, might have escaped, and estimated that over 1,000 and 1,600 Mexicans were killed. So it's kind of whatever you want to believe, yeah, but regardless of what you believe, you do have to say here and I do want to make a point of saying this the 150 to 250 men that were inside of the Alamo, if each one of them killed three people, these are the numbers you would see. Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:So so, regardless they put up a hell of a fucking fight. Yeah, that's what I'm saying is like that. I think that's why this is so significant. Probably it was a mental changing, like a turning tide for turning tide Turning. Tide Turning tide's turning, that's good.
Speaker 2:You saw my eyebrows go up.
Speaker 1:They are.
Speaker 2:This is definitely a turning point for the mentality of Americans.
Speaker 1:That's what I was looking at.
Speaker 2:110,000 percent Texians, not Americans, and Americans because of the wide circulation of the letter. Yes, that had a bigger impact after they had all died than before.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Now the bodies of the Mexican soldiers were buried locally, while the Texians remains were stacked and burned. Except for a Gregorio Esparza, his brother, who was on the Mexican side, secured permission for a proper burial from Santa Ana.
Speaker 2:I do the same thing for you, thanks. Yeah, but you'd be the one who dies. I would. I would live.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't be fighting with a bunch of assholes.
Speaker 2:No, you didn't want slaves, so I guess I guess neither of us would really be here in this situation.
Speaker 1:There is that.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So the ashes, including those from the funeral priors, marked peers, nope, pires, You're right, you're right.
Speaker 2:Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. That's totally my bad, yeah, uh-huh. I said peers and I was like no, a peer goes into water, that's a different thing.
Speaker 1:Okay. So the ashes, including those from the funeral pires marked as Travis, Crockett and Bowie, were placed in a coffin. The exact burial site remains unknown.
Speaker 2:They. Actually, when I was looking stuff up, they found a burial site, they found a spot where they think it may have been, because there was like a some note that they found, or something like that, that said that they buried this coffin at the foot of these steps, in front of this church in this one city. And when they dug into the ground right there to just see, they found a coffin, but the the contents weren't exactly what they thought it would be if this was the case. So it's not known whether that was the actual coffin or not.
Speaker 1:The exact burial site remains unknown.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I just thought it was a fun tidbit it is. It is Cause it definitely could have been.
Speaker 2:It's just like how the fuck are we gonna know? It's like you dig up a time capsule from 1920 and you're like, yes, Franklin, Benjamin Franklin buried this. How the fuck do you know that?
Speaker 1:I think we do have DNA samples of Benjamin Franklin.
Speaker 2:Oh, you probably have. He's raking it up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, he's raking it up, found a hairbrush yeah, something like that for his like four hairs on the front of that, what we say is to bald men should have shaved it off. It's by choice. Santa Anna spared Travis's slave, joe. Joe, that's who I want Now. This was in part of an effort to sway other slaves to support the Mexican government instead of the Texian rebellion. After the battle, santa Anna individually interviewed each noncombatant Impressed by Susanna Dickinson. He offered this is so weird, I know.
Speaker 2:It's such a like you're a standup woman.
Speaker 1:He offered to adopt her infant daughter, angelina, and give her an education in Mexico City. However, dickinson was like no.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And so she received some blankets and two silver pesos for her troubles.
Speaker 2:That's two, two pesos, two little pesos and a couple blankets? I don't know what that was worth back then? Probably not very much still.
Speaker 1:Now, while Tejano women were allowed to return to her home in Bexar Dickinson, her daughter and Joe were sent to Gonzalez under escort. Their task was to share the battle's events and spread the message that Santa Anna's army was invincible.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm sure that's what they did Right when they got into Gonzalez. They probably went straight to the saloon and they were like guys, we have a supernatural being on our hands.
Speaker 1:That's probably what they said. Or they walked in and they're like these guys don't know how to fight. They were shooting themselves. They just had a lot of them.
Speaker 2:That's probably exactly what the fuck they said, because you know, the escorts just dipped as soon as they delivered it.
Speaker 1:They dropped them off and they're like peace. Yeah, they're over here. They're going to get some tequila, yeah.
Speaker 2:Some tequila in Gonzalez. So during the siege, delegates from various parts of Texas convened at the convention of 1836. On March 2nd they officially declared independence, establishing the Republic of Texas. A few days later, travis' warning about the tire situation reached the convention. On March 6th. That really important letter that I read earlier yeah, a really important one. It finally got there Now, not realizing that the Alamo had already fallen. Robert Potter urged the convention to adjourn and rushed to relieve the Alamo. But Sam Houston persuaded them to stay put and draft a constitution reflecting the desire for Texas independence. Yeah, that document probably went a really long ways. It did.
Speaker 1:They got Texas For about a few years.
Speaker 2:They got Texas For a few years, and then we just kind of absorbed that shit, we absorbed them into the thing.
Speaker 1:This constitution, I think, is the one that those diehard Texans that want to secede from America still yeah. There is a misspelling, which means Texas has never been part of a US way ever, and it's like, well then, we'll just take all your government resources.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like, okay, you guys deal with that. Yeah have fun. Hey, texas, we love you. But man, weird, crazy Sometimes. Sometimes Now, after being appointed, the sole commander of Texian troops, houston went to Gonzalez to lead the 400 volunteers Still waiting, waiting for Fennin's guidance to the Alamo.
Speaker 1:Fucking Fennin.
Speaker 2:I don't know what happened to Fennin. He probably just dipped bro.
Speaker 1:No, he's probably just rewarded for his efforts, as people wore back then. That's true. You have a one good conversation with a glass of whiskey in front of you.
Speaker 2:God, whiskey solves everything. You become president and cost is a lot Huh.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Now, shortly after Houston's arrival on March 11, news came confirming the fall of the Alamo and the loss of all Texian lives. To prevent panic, houston initially detained the messengers as potential enemy spies, but released them once Susanna Dickinson and Joe arrived in Gonzalez. I like that. He's just Joe. He's just Joe. Well, they didn't have last name. A lot of slaves didn't technically have last names.
Speaker 1:If they did, it was not recorded. Well, no, if they did, it would be their master's last name. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay, kind of like Robert Smalls.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, aware that the Mexican army would likely advance towards Texian settlements, houston advised civilians to evacuate and ordered his new army to retreat. This sparked a widespread flight, known as the runaway scrape, with most Texians, including government officials, heading east. And I gotta get out of the fucking town.
Speaker 1:Despite the losses at the Alamo, the Mexican army in Texas vastly outnumbered the Texian forces. Santa Ana believed news of their triumph at the Alamo would crush resistance and prompt Texian soldiers to depart. Now, surprisingly, it had the opposite effect, rallying more men to join Houston's army. The battle of San Juacinto on April 21st turned the tide. The Texian army caught the Mexican forces off guard and in a swift 18 minute clash they essentially secured victory.
Speaker 1:During the battle, cries of remember the Alamo echoed among the Texian soldiers as they chased down the fleeing Mexican troops. Santa Ana was captured the following day. He remarked to Sam Houston about his historic destiny, but was swiftly reminded of his actions at the Alamo. No prisoners, Yep exactly. Despite this, Santa Ana's life was spared.
Speaker 2:Of course it was they always fucking spared the guy, because it's too much influence. Too much influence and too much power, you can't create a martyr.
Speaker 1:And he was forced to order his troops out of Texas, marking the end of the Mexican rule over the province and granting some legitimacy to the newly formed Texas Republic.
Speaker 2:I just love how land was formed. Not land was formed, but how borders were formed. Back then it was just like whoever's there at the end of all the death, that's their land.
Speaker 1:Now it's for every human existence.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:It's been like when we talked about the evolution of warfare in the Thimble episode. This goes back to like still the you just beat them into submission. Yeah, you, just. Everybody and that was the Native Americans said that to each other. That was the Aztecs, that was the Incas, that was the Mayans.
Speaker 2:That was everybody, everybody's done it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's just human nature. It's happening right now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, it's happening right as we are recording this fucking podcast. Somebody probably just died in a war somewhere Right now. It's just crazy to me. Santa Ana's reputation following the Battle of the Alamo was deeply divisive within Mexico, where views of the conflict were shaped by shifting political tides. His capture at San Jacinto led to his disgrace with subsequent Mexican narratives, often crafted by his vocal critics. Some historians suggest that stories of events like Crockett's execution might have been exaggerated to tarnish Santa Ana's image further. Despite its initial significance, the Texas campaign, including the Battle of the Alamo, was eventually eclipsed in Mexican history by the broader Mexican-American war that followed in 1846 to 1848.
Speaker 1:That shit was nuts. A lot of Californians fought in that one. That's actually where they developed. The state flag of California is with the bear.
Speaker 2:Because it was like drawn up on a cloth.
Speaker 1:It was drawn up on some cloth, we read it in the Indifference Stars above and we learned about the Donner Party.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, there's something about the Mexican-American wars in that book.
Speaker 1:That's where they came up with the California flag. But yeah, that's the Battle of the Fucking Alamo.
Speaker 2:Fucking dude, when I started, when you told me you were like we're going to do the Battle of the Alamo next, I was like, okay, cool. Then I started watching documentaries and I was like, okay, I didn't know that, okay, didn't know that, okay didn't know that. I guess in school, the primary concept that we're taught at least that we were back when I was in middle school was like this was a valiant effort by Americans to claim independence for themselves. Yada, yada, yada. What it really was was a bunch of fucking people who didn't want to not have slaves settling down in this one area. Now, granted, while they were terrible people in that regard, they were some brave, badass motherfuckers in the regard of they did try you know what I mean and they did stick around. They may not have been the smartest, they may have been things that they could have done better, but they were brave.
Speaker 1:Yeah, brave doesn't mean smart, but they were brave. They were brave as fuck. It's so scary to put your mindset in that, where you have 2,000 men coming at you and you're in this little compound with no roof there's no roof over the Alamo.
Speaker 2:No, there's buildings.
Speaker 1:There is buildings, yeah, within it, but for the most part it's open area.
Speaker 2:It's an open area, it's a four. Yeah, crazy, scary.
Speaker 1:Ian forgot to plug us in the beginning of the episode, so go ahead and subscribe and give us a five star rating.
Speaker 2:And all of that stuff here. Let's just rewind, we'll do the whole thing over, oh, okay, okay, rewind, we're going to start from the top, and you know what else I am? Hopefully that you hit that five star review button, that five star review button, the subscribe button, the like button, all of the buttons that you can hit after a thick glass of wine. You can hit those and we'll appreciate it. I don't know who well is, but he'll appreciate it.
Speaker 1:Here we go. Follow us at all our social bullshits. You can check us out on our website, drinkingourwaythorhistorycom. Ian, what do you have to say to the kids If you made it this?
Speaker 2:far. You already know what the fuck I'm going to say, because you've made it this far in every episode, and you know what. That's why you're a goddamn champion.
Speaker 1:Stay, beautiful bitches, because we fucking love you. Love to.
