What to do when your dreams don’t (and do) come true?

welcome back, ever-evolving souls—it's ADVICE DOM time. to the dungeon we go! today's listener SUBMISSION is a two-fer. TWO Qs, ONE CUP full of As. 

one question about what to do when you’re trying and not getting what you want + another about what to do when you’re getting everything.believe it or not, there’s a common answer to both.

ADVICE DOM's got questions and answers!

c'mon down to the cave for some spanky, slappy, advice-giving. BECAUSE SOMETIMES PEOPLE JUST LIKE TO BE TOLD WHAT TO DO.™️

call in and SUBMIT (your own question) --> 760-820-9070

~show notes~

• enter to win a free coaching session ~ when you leave a 5-star rating (only) and a written review, you'll be entered into a monthly drawing for a free 90-min coaching session with dana (value of $388). DM (@danablix instagram) or email a screenshot of your submission—take it right before you hit submit—along with the review name/title. winner announcements will be made across platforms!

/// sound-editing/design ~ rose blakelock, theme song ~ kat ottosen, podcast art ~ natalee miller///

Chapters

• 0:00 Finding Calm in Chaos
• 11:12 Podcast Ratings and Thank You

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Come on into the cave. The humidity it's fantastic. Watch your step. The entrance to the cave can get a little slippery Occupational hazard. What can I say? It's time for a little advice, dom, because sometimes people just like to be told what to do.

Speaker 1: 0:27

We live in a bewildering time. All of us are destined to be bewildered, and I don't think that's a bad thing. In fact, I got two questions on the same day. Both of them showed up One sentence each less than an hour apart, and it's clear that both askers are completely bewildered for seemingly different reasons. But are they really Crying in my jacuzzi?

Speaker 1: 1:01

Oh, oh oh, crying in my jacuzzi? Crying in my jacuzzi, crying in my jacuzzi? The first question what do you do when the thing you most want keeps not showing up? That was it, that was the question. Not showing up, that was it, that was the question. And an hour later I got. What do you do once you've started getting what you want? Now, I couldn't ignore the coincidence of the timing of these two questions and the coincidence of the theme getting what you want and I want to say coincidence, synchronicity, the language of the divine. So hold on to that toy. We're going to flip that on and let it buzz around in a moment.

Speaker 1: 2:19

Both of these questions feel serious in nature. Serious in that they are about getting, wanting, yearning, longing and getting it, getting the thing, the object of desire. Now there's a whole school of thought some refer to this as universal law that there is no such thing as not getting. We are always all only getting what we are ready for. And if we haven't gotten it, we are one interpretation, not ready for it, are one interpretation, not ready for it, which in our culture, has a derogatory, negative connotation, because we should all be ready all the time and in a constant state of achieving and receiving and getting. And on the other side, where I like to hang out, where the cave is located, is that we're getting ready to get ready. So, on one hand, here we have a question about someone who's getting ready to get ready and what do you do? And a question from someone who has gotten ready is ready, the things are happening, what do you do? You calm down? Did you see that coming? I feel like maybe you did not. You calm down, did you see that coming? I feel like maybe you did not. You calm the fuck down, because when you are buzzing and anxious, moving fast all the things. Am I missing things? Am I getting things? Am I doing it right? No-transcript.

Speaker 1: 4:10

It is very hard to interpret, interpret your emotions, sensations moving up through your body, emotions full of information for you. It's easy to be in old patterns of thought. Versus the very small percentage, the 10% we get each day, of new thought, new potential thinking, it's hard to pick up what the universe is actually saying to you. It is difficult, I'm not going to say impossible, but I of creativity, of vision, of presence, let's just say presence, to be present where all the things can happen, synchronicities, the language of the divine, when the nervous system is activated, when you're moving rapidly, consistently, when our nervous system is activated and we are moving from that connected place, that ventral vagal place right, this is a little polyvagal theory, quite a helpful framework, I find Into the activated, sympathetic nervous system Fight, flight, freeze, appease, fawn. What I'm getting at is that it is complicated to make present, conscious, empowered, next steps to receive the information that is likely all around you, to be able to interpret that, to feel it, to resonate, to be in resonance. So thus my advice calm down. So thus my advice calm down Now in the history of the universe, has anyone ever calmed down by being told to calm down? My sources tell me not.

Speaker 1: 6:28

One thing I'd like to offer is that the framework of getting and not getting Maybe not so helpful. I might put that aside. Best you can Give it a whirl. It can bring up deep experiences of separation, not belonging, not fitting in, scarcity, lack In the framework of getting, not getting. Sometimes we are trying so hard to get something this is really what I'm trying to get out here. We are trying so hard to get something that we try to cause miracles versus experiencing them. Miracles can be tiny, little, bite-sized, when your energy and attention is focused externally on the getting, or when it is internally on the. Why am I not getting? Or what do I do because I have all of these things? Now that I'm getting, and am I making the right decisions? How do I keep it going? I've been so used to trying to make it happen that I'm not even quite sure how to experience it, to enjoy it, to say yes, more please.

Speaker 1: 7:49

Calm and calm cannot be brought up about with the same effort of getting and not getting. Am I getting the calm? Am I not getting the calm? Have I gotten the calm and oh, here I am clinging to the calm. Try playing with it. Can you take a few breaths? Maybe when you're washing your hands somewhere and the water is warm, and you take a few breaths, you feel your feet on the ground. Maybe you're in an elevator and you just lean against the side wall and you notice the texture and you take a few breaths, closing your eyes perhaps, feeling your body move through space. Breathe, putting your feet on the earth, fondling a plant.

Speaker 1: 8:51

A fave, get creative. I mean it. Get creative. I mean it Get creative. Play with calm, play with calm. Play with your calmness, with your. Get curious with what it is to find calm Moments of it. Let it come up in unexpected places. Masturbate a fair amount if that gets you there.

Speaker 1: 9:25

Go, be playful with chilling out, finding moments of calm. In whatever experience you're having. It can be the one where you're telling yourself you are not really getting, or it can be the version of getting all the things. I know they seem completely different. I know they seem completely different, but they will come closer together as you slow down, as you stop pushing so hard, trying to control or manage the scenario. Just let go of the oars for a bit, relax, trust that you'll find your way. That's it Now. Get out of here, you dirty dirty little crybaby. Feel the warmth of the sun as you exit the cave and re-enter the here and now of your day, and feel free to send over your submission down in the dungeon answering machine. Just call 760-820-9070. That's 760-820-9070.

Speaker 1: 11:12

We receive all submissions Crying in my jacuzzi. If you enjoyed what we did here today, go over to wherever it is that you are listening to this podcast and give us a rating. As many stars Five as your heart desires. As many stars Five as your heart desires. Five stars though. Theme music and other musical bits by the very talented Kat Otteson. Sound design and editing by the effervescent Rose Blakelock. Thank you, thank you. Thank you so much for being here. I look forward to playing with you more in my jacuzzi. That sounded dirtier than I meant it, but you know what I mean.