Awkward Magic: On Being Transformed by Others

In this *spell* of an episode, magic, penetration, entanglement, and love emerge as steps toward understanding and willingness to be changed by others (sometimes oh-so awkwardly).

We enter with the Buddhist concept of PENETRATION (via some bibliomancy!)—not just observing from a distance, but entering deeply into experiences and relationships to truly understand them—where Dana shares a recent evolutionary discomfort experience with group work that involved Palestine, mentorship, and unexpectedly opened space for profound connection and transformation.

Magic and synchronicity can bring you to the observation deck of reality, but one must risk and leap to get to true understanding. What's on the other side? Let's find out and embrace both the joy and struggle of humaning together!

~ RESOURCES FROM THE JACUZZI-VERSE ~

• Free grounding meditation with Dana (a practice of calling your energy back/nervous system tending/reclaiming your attention) ~ bit.ly/grounding-now
• Rad apothecary alert > milkthistleyuccavalley.com ~ use code jacuzzi15 for a 15% discount
• Enter to win a free coaching session ~ leave a 5-star rating (only) and a written review, to be entered in a monthly drawing for a free coaching session. Email dana@danabalicki.com the review title + your review name to enter. Winner announcements will be made across platforms mid-month.

// sound-editing/design ~ Rose Blakelock, theme song ~ Kat Ottosen, podcast art ~ Natalee Miller///

Chapters

• 0:00 Crying in My Jacuzzi Introduction
• 0:28 Texts as Divinatory Guidance
• 2:13 Thich Nhat Hanh on Understanding
• 5:48 Milk Thistle Apothecary Sponsorship
• 6:44 Uncomfortable Conversations and Penetration
• 17:43 Magic, Penetration, Entanglement, and Love
• 21:14 Episode Closing and Call to Action

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Crying in my jacuzzi, crying in my jacuzzi, crying in my jacuzzi, crying in my jacuzzi. I believe that all texts, books, anything can be divinatory. Texts, books, anything can be divinatory. But if we set our intention to receive mode which you know can be its own body of work but if we attune ourselves to curiosity, to receptivity, to guidance that we can open ourselves to such things and receive from really anything around us. This is part of what I consider slow down medicine that if we're moving slow enough, if we're moving with enough presence, if we're cultivating trust little by little, if we're opening with warmth to ourselves, that we can, as I said, flip ourselves to receive mode. And so I did just that this morning and I was walking through my little library area and there was a book, sort of half sticking out and my books-coded it was in the red section, and so I went to tip it back in and I thought, oh, there's a reason that this book is tipped out. Was I in the magical library? No, is there still magic available to me at all moments? Yes, do I forget that? Sometimes, absolutely. Do I feel an effervescing tingle of delight when I remember? Yeah, I do so.

Speaker 1: 2:11

I pulled the book out and it is one of my favorites that I have actually shared a bit of here in a past episode tick not hans, the heart of understanding. It's a slim little edition, what's up Slim Commentaries on the Prajnaparamita Heart Sutra. And the Prajnaparamita Heart Sutra is regarded as, in essence, the essence of Buddhist teaching, and in the spring of 1987, thich Nhat Hanh, vietnamese Zen master, poet, peace activist, offered a series of talks and retreats and lectures around the United States. And so this slim but potent book you're a compilation of his commentaries on this ancient text. Every time I pick this book up maybe a few times a year, sometimes more, maybe sometimes less there's always something, even if it's something that I've read a hundred times. Sometimes it just hits different because I'm different, because the moment's different, because I'm more open or I'm grieving, or there's some part of me and there's not an incorrect or correct way to meet any guidance. And so today I opened to this one section. It's right at the beginning, it's called the Way of Understanding. It's right at the beginning, it's called the Way of Understanding and honestly I kind of loved it because I woke up having some very weird sassy dreams. Check out the Colin Farrell sex tape. And this whole section is about penetration. Bet you didn't see that coming, did you? Yeah? So the first quote is from the Prajnaparamita Heart Sutra, and then comes Thich Nhat Hanh's commentaries. Okay, so the quote is after this penetration, he overcame all pain. I'll read a little bit from the commentary Penetration means to enter something, not just to stand outside of it.

Speaker 1: 4:21

When we understand something, we cannot just stand outside and observe it. We have to enter deeply into it and be one with it in order to really understand. If we want to understand a person, we have to feel their feelings, suffer their sufferings and enjoy their joy. Penetration is an excellent word. The word comprehend is made up of the Latin roots com, which means together in mind, and prehendere, which means to grasp it or pick it up. To comprehend something means to pick it up and be one with it.

Speaker 1: 4:52

There is another way to understand something. If we only look at the sheet of paper as an observer standing outside, we cannot understand it completely. We have to penetrate it. We have to be a cloud, be the sunshine, be the lager. If we can enter it and be everything that is in it, our understanding of the sheet of paper will be perfect. There's an Indian story about a grain of salt that wanted to know just how salty the ocean is. So it jumped in and became one with the water of the ocean. In this way, the grain of salt gained a perfect understanding In the light of the grain of salt, gained a perfect understanding In the light of Buddhist meditation.

Speaker 1: 5:27

Love is impossible without understanding. You cannot love someone if you do not understand him or her. If you don't understand and you love. That is not love, it is something else. It is something else. Oh hi, it's me, janet. This is an ad.

Speaker 1: 5:49

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Speaker 1: 6:44

So today I was in a class and we did a practice exercise and there are several dozen people in the class and for these group practices they ask for volunteers. We all put our name in the little Zoom hat and on with the show. Now I've put my name in the Zoom hat many times and never been selected. And the second I did it today. I knew I would be selected. I could just feel it and instinctively I buttoned my shirt up all the way to my neck, all the way to the top button, which, if you know me, usually, like my boobs, are basically hanging out right. I just button down as low as possible. I've always been this way.

Speaker 1: 7:32

So I button all the way up and then I get called on and my heart starts pounding and the issue at hand had to do with certain kinds of relationships, and so I brought up that relationship as it was on my heart, given the topic and that there had been some conflict between me and this person over Palestine and the genocide in Gaza, over Palestine and the genocide in Gaza. Y'all, I am not kidding the biggest gust of wind just came through and rattled my windows. I had to edit it out because it was so intense. I'm getting a little sweaty again just talking about it. And so, without revealing too much from this practice group, since that is our container, and just a note that the work we're doing is energetic in nature and so there's not a lot of storytelling, there's not a lot of exposition or explanation, but the genocide was present, was named and I could tell people were so uncomfortable I can't even tell you all the different ways that that discomfort was made known.

Speaker 1: 8:56

And this book was sitting on my desk next to me and the computer and all of that discomfort, and I remembered and I thought, oh my God, this is us penetrating. We were the bodies in the body, the feelings in the feelings, the mental formations in the mental formations. And there have been many other modeled practices that we've been doing together and this one really did have a different flavor. We had to enter it in order to be one with what we wanted to observe and to understand, even though some people did not want to observe and they did not want to understand. But that was the invitation. And people showed up, something was moved, we were moved, we were changed by each other and I thought, oh, even this conflict that I have with this person or have had, and we've talked about it, and there's been movement inside of that relationship, but there has been shift that that was a gift or an opportunity for penetration that we were giving this whole group of people and we got the experience of being able to touch this were are their relationship to that part of the world, their relationship to any aspect of this experience. It changed me. It moved something in me that I am still processing and is what I am doing here with you. It moved something in me that I am still processing and is what I am doing here with you.

Speaker 1: 11:06

I don't have a lot of experiences like that on a regular basis. It's occurring to me in this moment that I look around and I'm like, yes, magic is available to me. Do I forget Sometimes? I sure do, when I remember, oh, how great. But like, maybe penetration is always available. Oh God, I love that sentence that just came out of my mouth. That's delicious, because after this penetration, he overcame all pain. Woo, did I overcome all pain? I'm not sure about that. However, did something open up? Did more spaciousness get created for us because of that penetration, Because of that experience? I believe so.

Speaker 1: 11:49

But honestly y'all, sometimes I'm scared of penetration. Can I also just say that I personally me, dana Bullocky, I love how my brain works. Does your brain work like this too? You're like, oh, look at the depths. But also penetration jokes. Hey, baby, are we like gonna do it?

Speaker 1: 12:10

I mean, this is a conversation of entanglement as well, and that entanglement is honestly an invitation to that work that we were all doing together in the class of understanding our connection. That's always there. We just have to attune into it, organize ourselves towards it and then recognize it, like flipping our little receptor switch on. So here we go Magic penetration, entanglement, available pretty much all the time. Maybe they're all three the same thing, or maybe there's a little Venn diagram and at the center is magically entangled penetration, aka nirvana, or just humaning agentially.

Speaker 1: 13:04

And then, yes, what is happening in Palestine is a very human issue, though. It affects the land, it affects the air, it affects all beings, all matter, those of us who have varying levels of connection to that part of the world, to those people in that part of the world. That community has expanded quite a bit. We have all been changed, we have all entered into what we may not have wanted to observe or even understand, or had blocks because of internalized racism or anti-Semitism, islamophobia, unconscious or conscious Zionism, and I could see in this moment with these people, when we have all come together to practice in this way, there was a handful of us practicing together with the rest watching, but everyone was part of it. Or there was this dynamic of standing and remaining observers, of being inside, of something, of entangling, of intra-acting let's just bring Karen Barad into this too.

Speaker 1: 14:23

That was a nice little wrap-up that we are connected and that connection takes a lot of different shapes and will change over time, because we are all becoming and the world is becoming and the ways in which we are intertwined with each other, and a key principle of the work, the example that I'm sharing with you, that body of work, that course of study, what we're all doing together is practicing a willingness to be changed by another, by each other. How often do we actually make that commitment? How often are we interested in being changed, and more interested in being changed than we are invested in being right and maybe willing and unwilling to penetrate, to really understand? That is our practice. So I got that today.

Speaker 1: 15:27

I read this this morning. I felt it so deeply, I said yes, I want to be the body in the body, the feeling in the feelings, the mental formations in the mental formations. I want to go deeper into observation. I want to understand, into observation, I want to understand. And then I got it. I really got it the power of resonance. I felt this, I said yes to this, I flipped my receptor switch on and I got in for the ride and I feel more alive, I feel a little more myself.

Speaker 1: 16:06

I feel grateful for the tenderness and the discomfort, both all everything in between, that was shared, for the space that was held, for the power of this wish of mine that I'm now sharing with you, for my curiosity, my willingness to be changed, to be penetrated, for my practice of compassion for myself and especially others and their experiences that I don't yet understand, and gratitude also for my own self-warmth, which allowed me to hold tenderly the enormity of what I brought to a group of relative strangers. I sort of just plopped it down there. I mean, the space held was immaculate by the facilitators, by the facilitators, and I came out the other side, changed and soft and loving, and not dying of awkwardness or shame or whatever I could imagine might be a whole anxious ball of dreadful feelings. For being so vulnerable and bold, I'm grateful for knowing how to take what is mine and to leave people what is theirs and not grasping. Clinging onto other people's obvious discomfort is my responsibility. So go forth and wish, resonate, penetrate, entangle, love, even in the discomfort of it all. Love, and even in the discomfort of it all. We get to do this. We get to do this together. So maybe tune in to that bigger wish. We'll remember the collective reading from Mary Evans from a previous episode this season, where the message of holding our individual and collective wishes really came to the top.

Speaker 1: 18:13

Find the one. Maybe pick up a book. Find a book that really always has something for you. Set an intention, open it up, see what guidance is there for you. Or you can take this one that I shared earlier. See how it feels. Open yourself to it. Doesn't have to be with 70 other people, could just be with a few. Where are the orgies? Or maybe just yourself and all the wonderful little parts in you waiting for some of your precious attention.

Speaker 1: 18:47

Magic penetration, entanglement, love. Magic penetration, entanglement, love, magic penetration, entanglement, love, magic penetration, entanglement, love. Where will you tune into magic today? Where and how will you allow yourself to be penetrated or to be penetrating truly, reaching to understand another? How are you already entangled? Notice it, honor it, pray at the altar? How will you practice love today? And I mean big love, I mean expansive love, I mean love that also embraces the pain and the discomfort of living, of humaning together, the love that is confronting, the love that invites you towards change, the change that helps you and us become more of who we are, the love that encourages you to share your resources of time, energy and money with those who need support right now. Magic, penetration, entanglement, love. I'm crazy.

Speaker 1: 20:14

And if you are listening on Apple Podcasts, give us a rating and a written review. Send me the name of your review and I'll add you to the monthly raffle for a free coaching session with me. Subscribing, rating and reviewing are amazing and they help us out immensely. And you listening, you sharing with your community is the very best thing that we in the Jacuzziverse could hope for. So thank you, crybabies, thank you for your support. Earworm theme music by the very talented Kat Otteson, sound design and editing. Magic by the effervescent Rose Blakelock. Keep questioning, keep feeling, keep rebelling in all the ways that matter. And remember the jacuzzi is everywhere. At any moment you could enter into the version of non-normative consciousness that is jacuzzi consciousness.