{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":8.675,"endTime":9.217,"body":"Welcome"},{"startTime":9.217,"endTime":12.637,"body":"to another episode of what we thought"},{"startTime":9.217,"endTime":12.637,"body":"would happen."},{"startTime":12.637,"endTime":15.056,"body":"Sorry, I'm chewing. Oh, no, that's okay."},{"startTime":12.637,"endTime":15.056,"body":"I'm drinking."},{"startTime":15.056,"endTime":17.809,"body":"I Britney Tito's is so good. This martini."},{"startTime":17.809,"endTime":19.811,"body":"Love our Tito's. Martini. It's Chris."},{"startTime":19.811,"endTime":21.396,"body":"Christmas. With Musetta."},{"startTime":21.396,"endTime":24.399,"body":"Anyway, I'm doing a well. Yeah."},{"startTime":24.441,"endTime":25.4,"body":"What are we talking about today?"},{"startTime":25.4,"endTime":28.111,"body":"Animals. Well,"},{"startTime":25.4,"endTime":28.111,"body":"we were just a few seconds ago."},{"startTime":28.111,"endTime":31.781,"body":"You had mentioned a set"},{"startTime":28.111,"endTime":31.781,"body":"when you were babysitting your nephews."},{"startTime":31.781,"endTime":33.867,"body":"Are your cousins,"},{"startTime":31.781,"endTime":33.867,"body":"your satisfied movie, right?"},{"startTime":33.867,"endTime":36.661,"body":"Yeah, Well. We were talking about"},{"startTime":33.867,"endTime":36.661,"body":"how sad Disney movies are. Right."},{"startTime":36.661,"endTime":38.079,"body":"And you said, I don't understand"},{"startTime":38.079,"endTime":40.498,"body":"why the fuck Disney movies"},{"startTime":38.079,"endTime":40.498,"body":"have to kill the fucking parents."},{"startTime":40.498,"endTime":43.501,"body":"Yeah, or something. I'm paraphrasing."},{"startTime":40.498,"endTime":43.501,"body":"Right?"},{"startTime":44.002,"endTime":46.296,"body":"No, I. I was. I was the adult."},{"startTime":46.296,"endTime":49.299,"body":"That was when I was hosting"},{"startTime":46.296,"endTime":49.299,"body":"the children's show."},{"startTime":49.34,"endTime":51.342,"body":"About Disney movie. Right."},{"startTime":51.342,"endTime":54.22,"body":"Well, kids,"},{"startTime":51.342,"endTime":54.22,"body":"why the fuck do the parents have to die."},{"startTime":54.22,"endTime":56.264,"body":"And. Make it,"},{"startTime":54.22,"endTime":56.264,"body":"you know, do something about it?"},{"startTime":56.264,"endTime":57.265,"body":"But they. All."},{"startTime":57.265,"endTime":60.727,"body":"All the Disney movies have like,"},{"startTime":57.265,"endTime":60.727,"body":"some parent, like death"},{"startTime":60.727,"endTime":63.73,"body":"or and, or like for relationship fracture."},{"startTime":63.813,"endTime":67.442,"body":"I think I cried in the theater at Bambi."},{"startTime":67.567,"endTime":68.693,"body":"My mom was really upset."},{"startTime":68.693,"endTime":71.071,"body":"She didn't know that it was going"},{"startTime":68.693,"endTime":71.071,"body":"to be that."},{"startTime":71.071,"endTime":73.573,"body":"Yeah. Upset with I who The movie people."},{"startTime":73.573,"endTime":75.033,"body":"Yeah, well, I was really little."},{"startTime":75.033,"endTime":76.451,"body":"I was probably like four"},{"startTime":76.451,"endTime":79.579,"body":"and it was in the, ah, the little,"},{"startTime":76.451,"endTime":79.579,"body":"you know, the town theater."},{"startTime":79.829,"endTime":82.832,"body":"And while they were waiting for the film"},{"startTime":79.829,"endTime":82.832,"body":"to come on,"},{"startTime":82.957,"endTime":88.254,"body":"I ran down to the stage"},{"startTime":82.957,"endTime":88.254,"body":"and started dancing in front of everybody."},{"startTime":88.254,"endTime":90.048,"body":"And the audience is clapping."},{"startTime":90.048,"endTime":92.759,"body":"And that's how I started my strip."},{"startTime":92.759,"endTime":94.094,"body":"No, wait, Stop it. Stop everything."},{"startTime":94.094,"endTime":96.137,"body":"So this is before Bambi? Yeah."},{"startTime":96.137,"endTime":98.098,"body":"And so everybody's in the theater."},{"startTime":98.098,"endTime":101.434,"body":"And what was the impulse"},{"startTime":98.098,"endTime":101.434,"body":"in Laura Kightlinger brain to run."},{"startTime":101.434,"endTime":103.52,"body":"Down the kid?"},{"startTime":101.434,"endTime":103.52,"body":"I don't know. I needed the attention."},{"startTime":103.52,"endTime":104.729,"body":"I saw the opportunity."},{"startTime":104.729,"endTime":106.272,"body":"Yeah, and there was music playing."},{"startTime":106.272,"endTime":107.982,"body":"What kind of music?"},{"startTime":107.982,"endTime":108.691,"body":"I have no idea."},{"startTime":108.691,"endTime":110.527,"body":"Uh huh. What kind of dancing or."},{"startTime":110.527,"endTime":113.53,"body":"Oh, just, you know, like four year"},{"startTime":110.527,"endTime":113.53,"body":"old, like, chicken shaking."},{"startTime":113.696,"endTime":116.116,"body":"And the crowd was eating it"},{"startTime":113.696,"endTime":116.116,"body":"up. Yeah. So clapping."},{"startTime":116.116,"endTime":117.283,"body":"And then my mom was,"},{"startTime":117.283,"endTime":120.537,"body":"like, laughing, and she had to go down"},{"startTime":117.283,"endTime":120.537,"body":"and get me off the stage. Huh?"},{"startTime":120.829,"endTime":122.664,"body":"So your stripper name is clearly Bambi?"},{"startTime":122.664,"endTime":124.082,"body":"Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right. Right."},{"startTime":124.082,"endTime":127.001,"body":"If you want or be kinky about it,"},{"startTime":124.082,"endTime":127.001,"body":"it could be Bambi's mom, that's for sure."},{"startTime":127.001,"endTime":129.796,"body":"Please"},{"startTime":127.001,"endTime":129.796,"body":"welcome to the stage Bambi's mom, right?"},{"startTime":129.796,"endTime":132.132,"body":"I don't know. Maybe like a bullet wound"},{"startTime":129.796,"endTime":132.132,"body":"somewhere in my brain."},{"startTime":132.132,"endTime":133.716,"body":"You know what I mean? Oh."},{"startTime":133.716,"endTime":136.761,"body":"And I also didn't like"},{"startTime":133.716,"endTime":136.761,"body":"where it could have been, Dumbo, because."},{"startTime":136.761,"endTime":140.14,"body":"Well, okay, so you said you cried"},{"startTime":136.761,"endTime":140.14,"body":"during the Lion King."},{"startTime":140.306,"endTime":143.268,"body":"Oh, I watched The Lion King. It's sad."},{"startTime":143.268,"endTime":144.561,"body":"One of the few movies."},{"startTime":144.561,"endTime":146.688,"body":"I don't know if I should go to movies"},{"startTime":144.561,"endTime":146.688,"body":"alone."},{"startTime":146.688,"endTime":148.273,"body":"It's always like a weird time. Like."},{"startTime":149.357,"endTime":150.358,"body":"Only if you cry."},{"startTime":150.358,"endTime":151.151,"body":"Don't go alone."},{"startTime":151.151,"endTime":155.405,"body":"Yeah, well, I went and I'll be Alban"},{"startTime":151.151,"endTime":155.405,"body":"bracing myself if I did go with some guy."},{"startTime":155.405,"endTime":158.825,"body":"But I feel like I went to Lions Club"},{"startTime":155.405,"endTime":158.825,"body":"sitting there and just the music."},{"startTime":158.825,"endTime":161.661,"body":"When it started,"},{"startTime":158.825,"endTime":161.661,"body":"I started crying. Yes, Yes."},{"startTime":161.661,"endTime":162.954,"body":"Before they even started."},{"startTime":162.954,"endTime":165.331,"body":"On Ba ba ba ba. That stuff. Yeah. Well."},{"startTime":165.331,"endTime":167.292,"body":"I don't know, I guess"},{"startTime":165.331,"endTime":167.292,"body":"because I knew what was going to happen."},{"startTime":167.292,"endTime":168.334,"body":"I saw the baby."},{"startTime":168.334,"endTime":169.794,"body":"Like James Earl Jones is about to die."},{"startTime":169.794,"endTime":171.796,"body":"Lion with the big lion."},{"startTime":171.796,"endTime":173.381,"body":"And I just started crying. Yeah."},{"startTime":173.381,"endTime":175.425,"body":"Oh, because of the music. Because of."},{"startTime":175.425,"endTime":176.968,"body":"Elton John. Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":176.968,"endTime":179.888,"body":"And another time"},{"startTime":176.968,"endTime":179.888,"body":"when I went to a movie alone,"},{"startTime":179.888,"endTime":183.933,"body":"it was the 25th anniversary of Caligula."},{"startTime":184.267,"endTime":187.02,"body":"It was on. Christmas Eve."},{"startTime":187.02,"endTime":188.146,"body":"Right here."},{"startTime":188.146,"endTime":189.689,"body":"And I was fighting"},{"startTime":188.146,"endTime":189.689,"body":"with the person I was with."},{"startTime":189.689,"endTime":191.524,"body":"And I said,"},{"startTime":189.689,"endTime":191.524,"body":"What the hell, I've never seen it."},{"startTime":191.524,"endTime":193.693,"body":"So I went, Have"},{"startTime":191.524,"endTime":193.693,"body":"I already talked about this?"},{"startTime":193.693,"endTime":195.278,"body":"No, I never heard this."},{"startTime":195.278,"endTime":197.655,"body":"So I went by myself. Which theater?"},{"startTime":197.655,"endTime":200.992,"body":"Like I said, it was a dark light, okay,"},{"startTime":197.655,"endTime":200.992,"body":"Because it was like an anniversary thing."},{"startTime":200.992,"endTime":202.493,"body":"And there weren't that many people,"},{"startTime":202.493,"endTime":205.288,"body":"but the people that were in line"},{"startTime":202.493,"endTime":205.288,"body":"and of course, it didn't dawn on me."},{"startTime":205.288,"endTime":208.291,"body":"There were about maybe"},{"startTime":205.288,"endTime":208.291,"body":"ten or 12 guys on Rincon."},{"startTime":208.708,"endTime":210.084,"body":"Oh, was?"},{"startTime":210.084,"endTime":211.377,"body":"Yeah. Stop."},{"startTime":211.377,"endTime":214.38,"body":"Yeah. And I didn't put that together."},{"startTime":214.422,"endTime":215.298,"body":"You didn't notice that too."},{"startTime":215.298,"endTime":217.091,"body":"You were dancing before the movie started."},{"startTime":217.091,"endTime":219.219,"body":"And they said of clapping their hands."},{"startTime":219.219,"endTime":222.68,"body":"They were wanking themselves"},{"startTime":219.219,"endTime":222.68,"body":"and their trench coat over like we're."},{"startTime":222.68,"endTime":224.349,"body":"Yeah, I've been here before. Yeah."},{"startTime":225.725,"endTime":228.519,"body":"I was just looking for Fred Willard."},{"startTime":228.519,"endTime":231.356,"body":"Anyway, so I."},{"startTime":231.356,"endTime":234.108,"body":"Do you think that was ageism"},{"startTime":231.356,"endTime":234.108,"body":"when everybody thought Fred Willard"},{"startTime":234.108,"endTime":238.029,"body":"was gross for Buster"},{"startTime":234.108,"endTime":238.029,"body":"for that versus Pee-Wee Herman was like."},{"startTime":238.238,"endTime":242.7,"body":"It was it was shitty, too, to be busting"},{"startTime":238.238,"endTime":242.7,"body":"either of either of those guys"},{"startTime":242.825,"endTime":246.037,"body":"because that's what you know,"},{"startTime":242.825,"endTime":246.037,"body":"it's their porn theaters are."},{"startTime":246.663,"endTime":248.081,"body":"Showing that Precisely."},{"startTime":248.081,"endTime":249.457,"body":"Yeah. It's not like they were."},{"startTime":249.457,"endTime":253.294,"body":"We did Oswald broke into a porn theater."},{"startTime":254.045,"endTime":254.671,"body":"Sorry."},{"startTime":254.671,"endTime":256.965,"body":"Monty does not like JFK conspiracy"},{"startTime":254.671,"endTime":256.965,"body":"in this house."},{"startTime":256.965,"endTime":258.466,"body":"I'm sorry."},{"startTime":258.466,"endTime":261.636,"body":"The way it was, it was just a normal"},{"startTime":258.466,"endTime":261.636,"body":"theater that Oswald broke into, right?"},{"startTime":261.636,"endTime":262.053,"body":"Not like."},{"startTime":262.053,"endTime":262.72,"body":"I don't know."},{"startTime":262.72,"endTime":265.181,"body":"God, that would've been so scandalous"},{"startTime":262.72,"endTime":265.181,"body":"if they busted him in the in the"},{"startTime":265.181,"endTime":267.1,"body":"in the sperm theater."},{"startTime":267.1,"endTime":268.393,"body":"Yeah, that would be great."},{"startTime":269.936,"endTime":270.728,"body":"No, I feel okay."},{"startTime":270.728,"endTime":275.733,"body":"So I go to movies alone sometimes, either"},{"startTime":270.728,"endTime":275.733,"body":"to, like, eat privately,"},{"startTime":275.733,"endTime":279.696,"body":"you know, in darkness,"},{"startTime":275.733,"endTime":279.696,"body":"which I like to do, or you."},{"startTime":279.696,"endTime":281.114,"body":"Go to the movies to eat. Alone."},{"startTime":281.114,"endTime":282.949,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":281.114,"endTime":282.949,"body":"There's places where you can order food."},{"startTime":282.949,"endTime":283.741,"body":"Oh, that's cool."},{"startTime":283.741,"endTime":284.2,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":284.2,"endTime":289.747,"body":"Not just like, like popcorn, but there's a"},{"startTime":284.2,"endTime":289.747,"body":"there's a two hour movie in Glendale."},{"startTime":289.747,"endTime":291.249,"body":"So. Daniel."},{"startTime":291.249,"endTime":292.834,"body":"That's what everyone can do."},{"startTime":292.834,"endTime":294.711,"body":"They can order popcorn. That's know."},{"startTime":294.711,"endTime":298.214,"body":"That's like the diary of a skinny teenager"},{"startTime":294.711,"endTime":298.214,"body":"with an eating disorder."},{"startTime":298.506,"endTime":300.425,"body":"Everybody can get. Yeah."},{"startTime":300.425,"endTime":304.595,"body":"I know, But not every DVD can't"},{"startTime":300.425,"endTime":304.595,"body":"even go back for refills with, like."},{"startTime":304.595,"endTime":306.347,"body":"I thought you meant like,"},{"startTime":304.595,"endTime":306.347,"body":"you could get a meal."},{"startTime":306.347,"endTime":308.933,"body":"No. Well, I mean, yeah,"},{"startTime":306.347,"endTime":308.933,"body":"you can. You know, in L.A. diet."},{"startTime":308.933,"endTime":309.892,"body":"Keep that L.A."},{"startTime":309.892,"endTime":312.061,"body":"fit by just popcorn day and night."},{"startTime":312.061,"endTime":313.021,"body":"No butter."},{"startTime":313.021,"endTime":315.481,"body":"But there's a $2 movie theater"},{"startTime":313.021,"endTime":315.481,"body":"somewhere in Glendale,"},{"startTime":315.481,"endTime":318.526,"body":"and they should all blow up"},{"startTime":315.481,"endTime":318.526,"body":"whatever movies from, like, months ago."},{"startTime":318.818,"endTime":321.237,"body":"But it's always kids in the theater, like."},{"startTime":321.237,"endTime":324.824,"body":"And so I feel like a total"},{"startTime":321.237,"endTime":324.824,"body":"creep being alone and crying."},{"startTime":325.992,"endTime":328.995,"body":"My kids don't need to see that."},{"startTime":332.373,"endTime":334.0,"body":"I don't ever get recognized."},{"startTime":334.0,"endTime":338.379,"body":"And every time I have been,"},{"startTime":334.0,"endTime":338.379,"body":"it's always been in a really,"},{"startTime":338.379,"endTime":340.423,"body":"really strange situation."},{"startTime":340.423,"endTime":342.55,"body":"So I was in the theater sitting down."},{"startTime":342.55,"endTime":343.634,"body":"Well, actually, no, This guy"},{"startTime":343.634,"endTime":345.887,"body":"kind of walked in with me and he said,"},{"startTime":343.634,"endTime":345.887,"body":"Are you Laura Kightlinger?"},{"startTime":345.887,"endTime":347.305,"body":"And I said, Yeah."},{"startTime":347.305,"endTime":348.89,"body":"And he gives, Are you with someone?"},{"startTime":348.89,"endTime":350.308,"body":"And I said, Oh, and of course I was."},{"startTime":350.308,"endTime":351.309,"body":"And I said, No."},{"startTime":351.309,"endTime":353.644,"body":"And he said, Can I sit with you? Oh."},{"startTime":353.644,"endTime":356.647,"body":"So then this guy in raincoat"},{"startTime":353.644,"endTime":356.647,"body":"sitting next to. Me."},{"startTime":358.358,"endTime":359.734,"body":"And we got married."},{"startTime":359.734,"endTime":362.528,"body":"Never about,"},{"startTime":359.734,"endTime":362.528,"body":"you know, it. Never rains in Los Angeles."},{"startTime":362.528,"endTime":365.031,"body":"That should be like,"},{"startTime":362.528,"endTime":365.031,"body":"No, no, it was number one."},{"startTime":365.031,"endTime":367.241,"body":"What's with the slicker? Mr.. I know."},{"startTime":367.241,"endTime":371.287,"body":"And then I feel like he was like, stare"},{"startTime":367.241,"endTime":371.287,"body":"like burning a hole through the side of my"},{"startTime":372.288,"endTime":374.332,"body":"eye. The sign."},{"startTime":374.332,"endTime":374.624,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":374.624,"endTime":375.833,"body":"Or just seeing, like, if I."},{"startTime":375.833,"endTime":378.669,"body":"You know, how"},{"startTime":375.833,"endTime":378.669,"body":"I was reacting to everything. You know."},{"startTime":378.669,"endTime":380.463,"body":"What movie was like."},{"startTime":380.463,"endTime":384.175,"body":"Oh, my God, A Caligula slicker"},{"startTime":380.463,"endTime":384.175,"body":"man wanted to sit next scene."},{"startTime":384.759,"endTime":387.261,"body":"Was he just staring at one hand"},{"startTime":384.759,"endTime":387.261,"body":"all the time?"},{"startTime":387.261,"endTime":389.806,"body":"Like waiting for the."},{"startTime":387.261,"endTime":389.806,"body":"I don't know. I just."},{"startTime":389.806,"endTime":392.308,"body":"I could barely look over,"},{"startTime":389.806,"endTime":392.308,"body":"but I felt like I could hear."},{"startTime":392.308,"endTime":395.311,"body":"See, I don't know. I feel like it's going."},{"startTime":395.478,"endTime":395.937,"body":"Are you."},{"startTime":395.937,"endTime":398.94,"body":"Can I get an autograph now?"},{"startTime":399.732,"endTime":400.483,"body":"That actually was."},{"startTime":400.483,"endTime":402.652,"body":"Are you Laura coming? Her? Yeah,"},{"startTime":400.483,"endTime":402.652,"body":"that was it."},{"startTime":402.652,"endTime":403.486,"body":"I feel like."},{"startTime":403.486,"endTime":405.488,"body":"I'm going to smack your penis"},{"startTime":403.486,"endTime":405.488,"body":"if you don't keep."},{"startTime":405.488,"endTime":405.822,"body":"You know."},{"startTime":405.822,"endTime":409.283,"body":"He once that the man in the raincoat"},{"startTime":405.822,"endTime":409.283,"body":"always wants to dick to be hit there's"},{"startTime":409.492,"endTime":411.077,"body":"you know what I mean"},{"startTime":409.492,"endTime":411.077,"body":"is very straight culture."},{"startTime":411.077,"endTime":413.121,"body":"I just did a show in Huntington Beach,"},{"startTime":411.077,"endTime":413.121,"body":"which I kept calling"},{"startTime":413.121,"endTime":415.665,"body":"Huntington Beach, and they loved it"},{"startTime":413.121,"endTime":415.665,"body":"because, Oh, that's great."},{"startTime":415.665,"endTime":418.668,"body":"I think he's involving MAGA"},{"startTime":415.665,"endTime":418.668,"body":"and fucking fagot."},{"startTime":418.835,"endTime":419.794,"body":"Oh, great."},{"startTime":419.794,"endTime":421.671,"body":"Well, because that's all those people are."},{"startTime":421.671,"endTime":423.965,"body":"They're all at Caligula's"},{"startTime":421.671,"endTime":423.965,"body":"24th anniversary."},{"startTime":423.965,"endTime":427.844,"body":"Well, I think it was San Diego"},{"startTime":423.965,"endTime":427.844,"body":"and I was really I did a show"},{"startTime":427.844,"endTime":431.222,"body":"and I'm stunned"},{"startTime":427.844,"endTime":431.222,"body":"that they were so conservative."},{"startTime":431.222,"endTime":433.266,"body":"I got Yeah, No, no, no."},{"startTime":433.266,"endTime":434.976,"body":"They're like maga conservative."},{"startTime":434.976,"endTime":437.145,"body":"So you turn the crowd around."},{"startTime":437.145,"endTime":438.104,"body":"No, I just accused."},{"startTime":438.104,"endTime":441.107,"body":"I just said I told all the wives"},{"startTime":438.104,"endTime":441.107,"body":"that they could have the night off"},{"startTime":441.107,"endTime":444.861,"body":"and I'd like their husbands dicks and say,"},{"startTime":441.107,"endTime":444.861,"body":"y'all can eat whatever you want,"},{"startTime":444.861,"endTime":445.528,"body":"you can have pizza."},{"startTime":445.528,"endTime":447.864,"body":"And I go back to the buffet"},{"startTime":445.528,"endTime":447.864,"body":"for to like two rounds."},{"startTime":447.864,"endTime":449.282,"body":"I covered."},{"startTime":449.282,"endTime":451.993,"body":"No, look, you cry it Caligula."},{"startTime":451.993,"endTime":453.286,"body":"Are you crying"},{"startTime":451.993,"endTime":453.286,"body":"because the man was sitting next to you?"},{"startTime":453.286,"endTime":455.329,"body":"You know, I was just."},{"startTime":455.329,"endTime":456.038,"body":"No, I didn't cry."},{"startTime":456.038,"endTime":457.206,"body":"I was just, like, stunned."},{"startTime":457.206,"endTime":459.584,"body":"And I kept just thinking,"},{"startTime":457.206,"endTime":459.584,"body":"should I just get up and get out of here?"},{"startTime":459.584,"endTime":460.585,"body":"I didn't know what."},{"startTime":460.585,"endTime":463.754,"body":"But then I was so invested in the story."},{"startTime":463.754,"endTime":465.006,"body":"Sure."},{"startTime":465.006,"endTime":468.342,"body":"So my heroes, Molly Ivins,"},{"startTime":465.006,"endTime":468.342,"body":"and they made a documentary out about her."},{"startTime":468.342,"endTime":470.72,"body":"And like, miraculously,"},{"startTime":468.342,"endTime":470.72,"body":"they were showing out here."},{"startTime":470.72,"endTime":472.93,"body":"What of the Lambs or some shit?"},{"startTime":470.72,"endTime":472.93,"body":"What's that?"},{"startTime":472.93,"endTime":473.723,"body":"It's here."},{"startTime":473.723,"endTime":474.765,"body":"It's like family owned."},{"startTime":474.765,"endTime":476.476,"body":"I don't know. There's one in Santa monica."},{"startTime":476.476,"endTime":477.81,"body":"There's one a fucking venue."},{"startTime":477.81,"endTime":481.355,"body":"So I went to the matinee,"},{"startTime":477.81,"endTime":481.355,"body":"which I think was the only showing,"},{"startTime":481.355,"endTime":485.651,"body":"and I was the only person who was,"},{"startTime":481.355,"endTime":485.651,"body":"I don't know, not on oxygen."},{"startTime":485.651,"endTime":490.114,"body":"Everybody else there was super old, but"},{"startTime":485.651,"endTime":490.114,"body":"I was crying because I love Molly Ivins."},{"startTime":490.114,"endTime":491.282,"body":"They got the part where she was all dying"},{"startTime":491.282,"endTime":492.825,"body":"and shit like that, but it was like,"},{"startTime":491.282,"endTime":492.825,"body":"Yeah, I can't."},{"startTime":492.825,"endTime":495.745,"body":"I also like it's I don't know, it's weird."},{"startTime":495.745,"endTime":498.748,"body":"A PDA in a movie theater or crying alone."},{"startTime":498.998,"endTime":501.959,"body":"What do people"},{"startTime":498.998,"endTime":501.959,"body":"what do other moviegoers hate more?"},{"startTime":501.959,"endTime":503.92,"body":"Would you rather sit next to someone"},{"startTime":501.959,"endTime":503.92,"body":"crying alone,"},{"startTime":503.92,"endTime":506.797,"body":"or would you rather sit next to a couple"},{"startTime":503.92,"endTime":506.797,"body":"who can't keep their hands off each other?"},{"startTime":506.797,"endTime":507.965,"body":"Oh, it's."},{"startTime":507.965,"endTime":509.926,"body":"But the crying,"},{"startTime":507.965,"endTime":509.926,"body":"like really loud and gross."},{"startTime":509.926,"endTime":512.845,"body":"Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":509.926,"endTime":512.845,"body":"I mean, if it's like, wailing, Like what?"},{"startTime":512.845,"endTime":515.389,"body":"It's like crying"},{"startTime":512.845,"endTime":515.389,"body":"that where they should leave it, right?"},{"startTime":515.389,"endTime":518.226,"body":"Like, and like, all the people are pawing"},{"startTime":515.389,"endTime":518.226,"body":"each other, that they should also leave."},{"startTime":518.226,"endTime":518.476,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":518.476,"endTime":523.564,"body":"If it's the kind of crying"},{"startTime":518.476,"endTime":523.564,"body":"where it as a human, you should intervene."},{"startTime":524.398,"endTime":525.024,"body":"I don't."},{"startTime":525.024,"endTime":527.527,"body":"I just freeze like, like,"},{"startTime":525.024,"endTime":527.527,"body":"like an ice cube."},{"startTime":527.527,"endTime":528.444,"body":"I just. Okay, okay."},{"startTime":528.444,"endTime":531.489,"body":"What if the person next to you"},{"startTime":528.444,"endTime":531.489,"body":"is a couple having sex and also crying?"},{"startTime":532.49,"endTime":533.282,"body":"That's okay."},{"startTime":533.282,"endTime":535.66,"body":"Then. You're a Caligula. Yeah."},{"startTime":533.282,"endTime":535.66,"body":"Then I'm just like."},{"startTime":535.66,"endTime":539.205,"body":"I was auditorium was concert"},{"startTime":535.66,"endTime":539.205,"body":"and the well, several times."},{"startTime":539.205,"endTime":542.166,"body":"But one time I was auditorium"},{"startTime":539.205,"endTime":542.166,"body":"was concert on Halloween."},{"startTime":542.291,"endTime":546.045,"body":"And the minute"},{"startTime":542.291,"endTime":546.045,"body":"she took the stage, the girl I went alone."},{"startTime":546.045,"endTime":547.463,"body":"You know"},{"startTime":546.045,"endTime":547.463,"body":"it's hard to find anyone to go to a"},{"startTime":547.463,"endTime":549.215,"body":"I was going to try and buying and ticket."},{"startTime":549.215,"endTime":552.051,"body":"You're still sitting by yourself anyway so"},{"startTime":549.215,"endTime":552.051,"body":"the girl there next to me is a stranger."},{"startTime":552.051,"endTime":553.803,"body":"And the minute"},{"startTime":553.803,"endTime":558.558,"body":"the concert started, she starts like"},{"startTime":553.803,"endTime":558.558,"body":"weeping to the point of like, one of us."},{"startTime":558.558,"endTime":560.309,"body":"All the strangers around us"},{"startTime":558.558,"endTime":560.309,"body":"start learning like,"},{"startTime":560.309,"endTime":562.353,"body":"should we enjoy the show or intervene?"},{"startTime":562.353,"endTime":564.438,"body":"So like a bunch of sociopaths,"},{"startTime":562.353,"endTime":564.438,"body":"nobody said anything."},{"startTime":564.438,"endTime":567.441,"body":"And she left,"},{"startTime":564.438,"endTime":567.441,"body":"which honestly was the best solution."},{"startTime":567.608,"endTime":570.444,"body":"We, you know, I realized like,"},{"startTime":570.444,"endTime":575.032,"body":"okay, I was in a vet's office and a woman"},{"startTime":575.032,"endTime":578.661,"body":"and her son were coming out"},{"startTime":575.032,"endTime":578.661,"body":"and it was bad news, obviously."},{"startTime":579.036,"endTime":580.746,"body":"And this they had. This unknown."},{"startTime":583.207,"endTime":585.126,"body":"That, you know, that's Sophie's Choice."},{"startTime":585.126,"endTime":585.459,"body":"The other."},{"startTime":585.459,"endTime":587.837,"body":"So is it the kid or the dog?"},{"startTime":587.837,"endTime":590.298,"body":"And the dog got a tail off."},{"startTime":590.298,"endTime":592.717,"body":"The dog came out with a bath."},{"startTime":592.717,"endTime":593.676,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":593.676,"endTime":596.095,"body":"I had to choose Who I love the most."},{"startTime":596.095,"endTime":597.555,"body":"Was the dog always."},{"startTime":597.555,"endTime":599.849,"body":"So anyway,"},{"startTime":599.849,"endTime":604.02,"body":"the stupid woman, the kid was a wreck"},{"startTime":599.849,"endTime":604.02,"body":"and so is the mom."},{"startTime":604.02,"endTime":607.023,"body":"And this woman said, Oh, what happened."},{"startTime":607.273,"endTime":608.316,"body":"Is she saw them carry."},{"startTime":608.316,"endTime":609.525,"body":"The dog in, right?"},{"startTime":609.525,"endTime":611.527,"body":"Course they can't talk, right?"},{"startTime":611.527,"endTime":614.28,"body":"Oh, and,"},{"startTime":614.28,"endTime":617.491,"body":"and the mom said, yeah, he didn't make it."},{"startTime":617.491,"endTime":619.577,"body":"Then this woman asked another question."},{"startTime":619.577,"endTime":621.579,"body":"Oh, he got hit by a car."},{"startTime":621.579,"endTime":624.582,"body":"No, you idiot."},{"startTime":625.958,"endTime":628.961,"body":"God, don't be so stupid and insensitive."},{"startTime":628.961,"endTime":630.421,"body":"Well, that reminds me."},{"startTime":630.421,"endTime":633.424,"body":"We were at dinner"},{"startTime":630.421,"endTime":633.424,"body":"once at the Tavern on the Green,"},{"startTime":633.633,"endTime":636.51,"body":"and as my sisters were,"},{"startTime":633.633,"endTime":636.51,"body":"they were teenagers, and we were sitting"},{"startTime":636.51,"endTime":639.513,"body":"as the oldest woman in the world"},{"startTime":636.51,"endTime":639.513,"body":"and her mother."},{"startTime":639.764,"endTime":641.015,"body":"And they were all it was also"},{"startTime":641.015,"endTime":644.018,"body":"they had balloons tied to their chairs"},{"startTime":641.015,"endTime":644.018,"body":"like they were children."},{"startTime":644.352,"endTime":645.853,"body":"It was also one of their birthdays."},{"startTime":645.853,"endTime":648.314,"body":"I couldn't tell you how many,"},{"startTime":645.853,"endTime":648.314,"body":"but I bet both of them were triple digits"},{"startTime":648.314,"endTime":652.068,"body":"and they just kept interrupting"},{"startTime":648.314,"endTime":652.068,"body":"army of their very new Yorkie."},{"startTime":652.151,"endTime":652.568,"body":"All women."},{"startTime":652.568,"endTime":655.154,"body":"Are you going to see a show"},{"startTime":652.568,"endTime":655.154,"body":"like just screaming at it?"},{"startTime":655.154,"endTime":657.281,"body":"It's your birthday, too. Like,"},{"startTime":655.154,"endTime":657.281,"body":"just totally trying to."},{"startTime":657.281,"endTime":660.951,"body":"We were part of the show anyway, right"},{"startTime":657.281,"endTime":660.951,"body":"at the last minute, the check is done."},{"startTime":661.327,"endTime":663.913,"body":"Even my mom, who's not this person,"},{"startTime":661.327,"endTime":663.913,"body":"she's like, let's get a cab."},{"startTime":663.913,"endTime":666.332,"body":"So they don't ask to share one,"},{"startTime":663.913,"endTime":666.332,"body":"which they eventually did."},{"startTime":666.332,"endTime":667.833,"body":"Oh, but as the old woman"},{"startTime":667.833,"endTime":671.42,"body":"is trying to get up out of the chair,"},{"startTime":667.833,"endTime":671.42,"body":"she knocks the champagne flute over"},{"startTime":671.712,"endTime":673.589,"body":"and it splashes"},{"startTime":671.712,"endTime":673.589,"body":"all the way across the table"},{"startTime":673.589,"endTime":675.883,"body":"onto her daughter,"},{"startTime":673.589,"endTime":675.883,"body":"who's like five all over."},{"startTime":675.883,"endTime":678.969,"body":"And then the woman"},{"startTime":675.883,"endTime":678.969,"body":"gets doused in champagne"},{"startTime":679.178,"endTime":680.554,"body":"and just immediately starts screaming."},{"startTime":680.554,"endTime":683.391,"body":"It's soaked through to my underwear. Ma."},{"startTime":683.391,"endTime":686.477,"body":"It's so proud to my underwear. Fantastic."},{"startTime":686.519,"endTime":688.688,"body":"Which was beautiful, right?"},{"startTime":686.519,"endTime":688.688,"body":"That was like a gorgeous thing."},{"startTime":688.688,"endTime":691.524,"body":"Here's three people"},{"startTime":688.688,"endTime":691.524,"body":"paying fucking $90 for chicken."},{"startTime":691.524,"endTime":692.274,"body":"I love. It."},{"startTime":692.274,"endTime":695.277,"body":"And someone was talking about her soggy"},{"startTime":692.274,"endTime":695.277,"body":"champagne crotches."},{"startTime":695.361,"endTime":699.156,"body":"That's why I think there should be adult"},{"startTime":695.361,"endTime":699.156,"body":"diaper changing stations."},{"startTime":700.157,"endTime":703.077,"body":"At restaurants."},{"startTime":703.077,"endTime":706.08,"body":"And a microphone attached"},{"startTime":703.077,"endTime":706.08,"body":"so we can hear the fucking fire."},{"startTime":706.247,"endTime":706.747,"body":"I don't know."},{"startTime":706.747,"endTime":709.5,"body":"I do think that's like poetic justice"},{"startTime":706.747,"endTime":709.5,"body":"where you have to like,"},{"startTime":709.5,"endTime":711.877,"body":"like change your parents diapers."},{"startTime":711.877,"endTime":712.712,"body":"I'm not going to do it."},{"startTime":712.712,"endTime":715.715,"body":"They're fucked."},{"startTime":718.509,"endTime":722.012,"body":"Do you go to restaurants alone"},{"startTime":718.509,"endTime":722.012,"body":"or have you?"},{"startTime":722.054,"endTime":722.638,"body":"I did."},{"startTime":722.638,"endTime":725.516,"body":"When I especially my first move to L.A.,"},{"startTime":722.638,"endTime":725.516,"body":"I like to."},{"startTime":725.516,"endTime":727.351,"body":"There's a Thai restaurant"},{"startTime":725.516,"endTime":727.351,"body":"that was open till 4 a.m."},{"startTime":727.351,"endTime":730.062,"body":"and they would serve you alcohol. Thai?"},{"startTime":730.062,"endTime":731.272,"body":"Well, no, Thai."},{"startTime":731.272,"endTime":732.648,"body":"Oh, no, not that place."},{"startTime":732.648,"endTime":734.108,"body":"It's Hollywood. Thai?"},{"startTime":732.648,"endTime":734.108,"body":"But they don't do it anywhere."},{"startTime":734.108,"endTime":736.902,"body":"But they serve alcohol till 4 a.m.,"},{"startTime":734.108,"endTime":736.902,"body":"which was great."},{"startTime":736.902,"endTime":738.696,"body":"I was like, Nobody. Tell them what's up."},{"startTime":738.696,"endTime":740.03,"body":"It was always like more for the ambiance."},{"startTime":740.03,"endTime":743.033,"body":"But I would go there and read,"},{"startTime":740.03,"endTime":743.033,"body":"Oh, sure, a book."},{"startTime":743.033,"endTime":745.035,"body":"And if I can get shit hammered."},{"startTime":745.035,"endTime":746.912,"body":"Oh, I don't know why"},{"startTime":745.035,"endTime":746.912,"body":"I thought that was fine."},{"startTime":746.912,"endTime":747.204,"body":"Because like,"},{"startTime":747.204,"endTime":750.416,"body":"you can't read in public alone anyway,"},{"startTime":747.204,"endTime":750.416,"body":"but you certainly can't read"},{"startTime":750.416,"endTime":751.751,"body":"when you're like not going to back and."},{"startTime":751.751,"endTime":754.962,"body":"You can't eat alone unless you have a book"},{"startTime":751.751,"endTime":754.962,"body":"or a phone or something."},{"startTime":754.962,"endTime":756.38,"body":"Right? Then you're a psycho."},{"startTime":756.38,"endTime":758.34,"body":"Yeah, it's just eating alone."},{"startTime":758.34,"endTime":758.841,"body":"I mean, that's."},{"startTime":758.841,"endTime":763.971,"body":"That's really brave to eat alone and not"},{"startTime":758.841,"endTime":763.971,"body":"pretend that you have some work to do."},{"startTime":763.971,"endTime":765.765,"body":"Like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":765.765,"endTime":767.224,"body":"Well, my favorite thing to do either"},{"startTime":767.224,"endTime":770.811,"body":"when I was, like, drinking at a bar alone"},{"startTime":767.224,"endTime":770.811,"body":"or especially now, like, traveling a lot."},{"startTime":771.145,"endTime":773.105,"body":"I just like eating in weird cities"},{"startTime":771.145,"endTime":773.105,"body":"or eating at the airport."},{"startTime":773.105,"endTime":776.108,"body":"My favorite thing to do is to, like,"},{"startTime":773.105,"endTime":776.108,"body":"be at a bar"},{"startTime":776.233,"endTime":780.988,"body":"and watch sports on the TV"},{"startTime":776.233,"endTime":780.988,"body":"and see if anyone around me is buying it."},{"startTime":781.03,"endTime":783.491,"body":"That I'm actually invested"},{"startTime":781.03,"endTime":783.491,"body":"in the game, too."},{"startTime":783.491,"endTime":784.784,"body":"I mean, I try to clap Butch."},{"startTime":784.784,"endTime":788.579,"body":"I don't know if that's a thing, but"},{"startTime":784.784,"endTime":788.579,"body":"I try to like clap in a butch way or like"},{"startTime":788.746,"endTime":791.832,"body":"in an aloof, minimal way because that's"},{"startTime":788.746,"endTime":791.832,"body":"what straight guys do, right?"},{"startTime":791.874,"endTime":795.419,"body":"But react positively"},{"startTime":791.874,"endTime":795.419,"body":"when there's like a score advantage."},{"startTime":795.669,"endTime":799.507,"body":"So were you did you ever watch"},{"startTime":795.669,"endTime":799.507,"body":"televised sports with your dad or."},{"startTime":799.507,"endTime":800.8,"body":"Anything like that? Well, he didn't."},{"startTime":800.8,"endTime":803.761,"body":"We would watch the meet"},{"startTime":800.8,"endTime":803.761,"body":"like the Super Bowl. Hmm."},{"startTime":803.761,"endTime":805.596,"body":"And then what else is there?"},{"startTime":803.761,"endTime":805.596,"body":"Yeah, that was it."},{"startTime":805.596,"endTime":808.182,"body":"We wouldn't even dip into the World Series"},{"startTime":805.596,"endTime":808.182,"body":"or any of that bullshit."},{"startTime":808.182,"endTime":810.434,"body":"It was like the Olympics. A fake."},{"startTime":810.434,"endTime":815.147,"body":"Like that's the Super Bowl because"},{"startTime":810.434,"endTime":815.147,"body":"of this guy that I like to work with."},{"startTime":815.189,"endTime":817.066,"body":"Yeah, I mean, there's a Yeah, it's"},{"startTime":817.066,"endTime":820.236,"body":"usually some adjacent thing is why"},{"startTime":817.066,"endTime":820.236,"body":"we all fucking liked the Super Bowl."},{"startTime":820.236,"endTime":822.696,"body":"For me, it's like shooting on the halftime"},{"startTime":820.236,"endTime":822.696,"body":"when it's the Black Eyed Peas,"},{"startTime":822.696,"endTime":827.284,"body":"which is the worst"},{"startTime":822.696,"endTime":827.284,"body":"like performance time in human history."},{"startTime":827.701,"endTime":830.079,"body":"But we would always, yeah,"},{"startTime":827.701,"endTime":830.079,"body":"My parents had a group of friends"},{"startTime":830.079,"endTime":831.539,"body":"and they would get together for like,"},{"startTime":830.079,"endTime":831.539,"body":"those kind of,"},{"startTime":831.539,"endTime":835.417,"body":"like, majors, like iced events,"},{"startTime":831.539,"endTime":835.417,"body":"like they were the same kind of like"},{"startTime":835.417,"endTime":838.003,"body":"dangerously Texas"},{"startTime":835.417,"endTime":838.003,"body":"racist tropes when we would watch,"},{"startTime":838.003,"endTime":840.881,"body":"like the Miss Texas pageant, like,"},{"startTime":838.003,"endTime":840.881,"body":"nobody was safe."},{"startTime":840.881,"endTime":842.383,"body":"Those girls were mutilated."},{"startTime":842.383,"endTime":843.425,"body":"Oh, sure."},{"startTime":843.425,"endTime":846.011,"body":"Even by the judges to the other. Women"},{"startTime":843.425,"endTime":846.011,"body":"that it was fun."},{"startTime":846.011,"endTime":850.516,"body":"My mom and my animals got kicked out from"},{"startTime":846.011,"endTime":850.516,"body":"the live taping for laughing too much."},{"startTime":850.558,"endTime":851.892,"body":"Wow. Isn't that great?"},{"startTime":851.892,"endTime":853.602,"body":"I actually am obsessed with Pageant world."},{"startTime":853.602,"endTime":856.063,"body":"It's fucked"},{"startTime":853.602,"endTime":856.063,"body":"up. It's still a total business."},{"startTime":856.063,"endTime":857.648,"body":"Yeah, I'm surprised that. Still."},{"startTime":857.648,"endTime":859.233,"body":"Would you think that. Would be canceled?"},{"startTime":859.233,"endTime":861.652,"body":"Would you watch it on TV?"},{"startTime":859.233,"endTime":861.652,"body":"No, it's a scholarship, that's why."},{"startTime":861.652,"endTime":863.195,"body":"Because you can't take the scholarship"},{"startTime":861.652,"endTime":863.195,"body":"away from the girls."},{"startTime":863.195,"endTime":866.949,"body":"I remember watching it with my mom"},{"startTime":863.195,"endTime":866.949,"body":"and the guy"},{"startTime":866.949,"endTime":870.327,"body":"Bert, whatever his name is like,"},{"startTime":866.949,"endTime":870.327,"body":"that was really weirdly creepy."},{"startTime":870.369,"endTime":871.787,"body":"We used to sing."},{"startTime":871.787,"endTime":873.831,"body":"Oh, yeah. He would look at the. There."},{"startTime":873.831,"endTime":875.332,"body":"She heard that part? Yeah."},{"startTime":875.332,"endTime":877.251,"body":"Yeah, like. Seventies, early eighties."},{"startTime":877.251,"endTime":879.795,"body":"I don't know what that was."},{"startTime":877.251,"endTime":879.795,"body":"Maybe that was Miss Universe."},{"startTime":879.795,"endTime":881.297,"body":"No, that's Trump."},{"startTime":881.297,"endTime":882.339,"body":"Oh, right."},{"startTime":882.339,"endTime":884.466,"body":"Or Trump's Miss Galaxy or some bullshit."},{"startTime":885.593,"endTime":886.093,"body":"I do."},{"startTime":886.093,"endTime":888.429,"body":"Just because"},{"startTime":886.093,"endTime":888.429,"body":"I'm a sucker for a talent category."},{"startTime":888.429,"endTime":890.097,"body":"I don't care what the pageant is doing."},{"startTime":890.097,"endTime":893.392,"body":"I mean, I just want to see ten contestants"},{"startTime":890.097,"endTime":893.392,"body":"like, boast some sort of weird."},{"startTime":893.475,"endTime":894.935,"body":"I've told you about this, right?"},{"startTime":894.935,"endTime":899.064,"body":"There's a lady with a xylophone, and her"},{"startTime":894.935,"endTime":899.064,"body":"talent is how many mallets she could hold."},{"startTime":899.273,"endTime":900.482,"body":"And she did."},{"startTime":900.482,"endTime":905.195,"body":"William tell Overture, a.k.a What is that,"},{"startTime":900.482,"endTime":905.195,"body":"The Lone Ranger or something like that?"},{"startTime":905.195,"endTime":905.905,"body":"That."},{"startTime":905.905,"endTime":906.697,"body":"And I don't know."},{"startTime":906.697,"endTime":909.158,"body":"Anyway,"},{"startTime":906.697,"endTime":909.158,"body":"she did that shit on a fucking xylophone."},{"startTime":909.158,"endTime":912.494,"body":"The rather odd turn tantrum"},{"startTime":909.158,"endTime":912.494,"body":"and then she went at that part."},{"startTime":912.494,"endTime":914.663,"body":"She'd hold up more mallets in her fingers"},{"startTime":914.663,"endTime":916.665,"body":"and then she'd do that"},{"startTime":914.663,"endTime":916.665,"body":"fucking talking faster."},{"startTime":916.665,"endTime":918.125,"body":"So that bitch lost."},{"startTime":918.125,"endTime":918.751,"body":"And then the next year"},{"startTime":918.751,"endTime":921.837,"body":"she came back as a ventriloquist"},{"startTime":918.751,"endTime":921.837,"body":"and she had a Charlie McCarthy."},{"startTime":921.837,"endTime":924.214,"body":"That was his name, and she had it."},{"startTime":924.214,"endTime":925.841,"body":"So that was probably number one."},{"startTime":925.841,"endTime":930.012,"body":"She had another puppet that was a my size"},{"startTime":925.841,"endTime":930.012,"body":"Barbie, which was a three foot doll"},{"startTime":930.012,"endTime":934.516,"body":"that fucking Mattel made in the nineties"},{"startTime":930.012,"endTime":934.516,"body":"that the bitch had herself sawed"},{"startTime":934.516,"endTime":938.562,"body":"the jaw into fashioning much"},{"startTime":934.516,"endTime":938.562,"body":"like a nutcracker so that I have a bottom"},{"startTime":938.562,"endTime":942.942,"body":"drawer on the barbie would move"},{"startTime":938.562,"endTime":942.942,"body":"and she did a three part ventriloquist"},{"startTime":942.942,"endTime":946.82,"body":"act as her talent"},{"startTime":942.942,"endTime":946.82,"body":"to what I think was the fucking"},{"startTime":948.072,"endTime":951.075,"body":"song from My Fair Lady Ryan"},{"startTime":948.072,"endTime":951.075,"body":"inspiring involved Finally on the Blind."},{"startTime":951.075,"endTime":952.743,"body":"Are that bullshit? God, that is."},{"startTime":952.743,"endTime":956.08,"body":"That is a true loss."},{"startTime":952.743,"endTime":956.08,"body":"The bitch was signing."},{"startTime":956.33,"endTime":957.122,"body":"Piled it on."},{"startTime":957.122,"endTime":959.959,"body":"You doing more things? Yeah."},{"startTime":957.122,"endTime":959.959,"body":"It was beautiful."},{"startTime":959.959,"endTime":963.379,"body":"We did that well where you were down,"},{"startTime":959.959,"endTime":963.379,"body":"she just thought. Hmm."},{"startTime":963.379,"endTime":964.129,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":964.129,"endTime":965.839,"body":"I mean, somewhere"},{"startTime":964.129,"endTime":965.839,"body":"that should get a trophy."},{"startTime":965.839,"endTime":968.801,"body":"More is more, don't you think? Yeah."},{"startTime":968.801,"endTime":969.551,"body":"Anyway, I love that."},{"startTime":969.551,"endTime":972.388,"body":"I feel like that was a part"},{"startTime":969.551,"endTime":972.388,"body":"of the last part of unpolished people."},{"startTime":972.388,"endTime":973.806,"body":"I like that she."},{"startTime":973.806,"endTime":975.891,"body":"Right now,"},{"startTime":973.806,"endTime":975.891,"body":"everybody knows how to be on TV."},{"startTime":975.891,"endTime":979.853,"body":"Right through"},{"startTime":975.891,"endTime":979.853,"body":"I like that she each time shows something"},{"startTime":979.853,"endTime":982.94,"body":"really unconventional"},{"startTime":979.853,"endTime":982.94,"body":"like she could have learned to play piano."},{"startTime":983.315,"endTime":985.567,"body":"No, you can't use mallets on a piano."},{"startTime":985.567,"endTime":987.027,"body":"I think that was her in."},{"startTime":987.027,"endTime":987.319,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":987.319,"endTime":990.322,"body":"She's like, Well, I got these"},{"startTime":987.319,"endTime":990.322,"body":"fucking mallets and I got this Barbie."},{"startTime":990.322,"endTime":991.573,"body":"What the fuck am I going to do?"},{"startTime":991.573,"endTime":994.576,"body":"Yeah, I also, I don't know, I live any,"},{"startTime":994.868,"endTime":997.663,"body":"any anything that ends in a crown"},{"startTime":994.868,"endTime":997.663,"body":"in a sash."},{"startTime":997.663,"endTime":998.414,"body":"Yeah, right."},{"startTime":998.414,"endTime":1003.127,"body":"It's very a what was Mary Poppins"},{"startTime":998.414,"endTime":1003.127,"body":"when they were like for voting the system,"},{"startTime":1003.168,"endTime":1006.338,"body":"the suffragettes, they put these sashes on"},{"startTime":1003.168,"endTime":1006.338,"body":"and I was"},{"startTime":1006.338,"endTime":1009.425,"body":"one of that till I knew"},{"startTime":1006.338,"endTime":1009.425,"body":"it was like government affiliated."},{"startTime":1009.55,"endTime":1012.177,"body":"Right. Like that ends the sash fetish."},{"startTime":1017.182,"endTime":1018.058,"body":"There is a"},{"startTime":1018.058,"endTime":1022.354,"body":"place nearby that's like a gym,"},{"startTime":1018.058,"endTime":1022.354,"body":"like a high school gym where people do"},{"startTime":1022.646,"endTime":1026.275,"body":"aerobics, They do, they have like"},{"startTime":1022.646,"endTime":1026.275,"body":"they have everything that that, you know,"},{"startTime":1026.316,"endTime":1030.32,"body":"that's in a, I guess"},{"startTime":1026.316,"endTime":1030.32,"body":"like uneven bars and also and trampolines."},{"startTime":1030.571,"endTime":1032.406,"body":"And in my mind,"},{"startTime":1032.406,"endTime":1035.492,"body":"I want to challenge myself to go there"},{"startTime":1032.406,"endTime":1035.492,"body":"and do the things I couldn't do"},{"startTime":1035.492,"endTime":1036.577,"body":"in high school. Yeah."},{"startTime":1036.577,"endTime":1040.164,"body":"So maybe we have to do that"},{"startTime":1036.577,"endTime":1040.164,"body":"as a special oh, video treat or we'll."},{"startTime":1040.164,"endTime":1042.458,"body":"Use like a lab will wear Cavaliers. Yeah."},{"startTime":1042.458,"endTime":1043.542,"body":"And that way we can trampoline."},{"startTime":1043.542,"endTime":1045.21,"body":"Because I could what are. The things."},{"startTime":1045.21,"endTime":1047.337,"body":"I could never climb the rope."},{"startTime":1047.337,"endTime":1048.213,"body":"Fuck no."},{"startTime":1048.213,"endTime":1051.133,"body":"I want to do that now. Okay,"},{"startTime":1048.213,"endTime":1051.133,"body":"But I want to wear rubber gloves."},{"startTime":1051.133,"endTime":1052.926,"body":"Well, yeah."},{"startTime":1051.133,"endTime":1052.926,"body":"That may be a little bit of a cheat."},{"startTime":1052.926,"endTime":1053.719,"body":"Okay, First of all,"},{"startTime":1053.719,"endTime":1058.432,"body":"I didn't think anybody but like, the"},{"startTime":1053.719,"endTime":1058.432,"body":"the high school jock could climb a rope."},{"startTime":1058.432,"endTime":1059.349,"body":"That was like."},{"startTime":1059.349,"endTime":1062.728,"body":"That was something like Eagle"},{"startTime":1059.349,"endTime":1062.728,"body":"Scouts wanted to do."},{"startTime":1062.728,"endTime":1063.687,"body":"Mm mm."},{"startTime":1063.687,"endTime":1065.939,"body":"Yeah, I'm kind of with you. But,"},{"startTime":1063.687,"endTime":1065.939,"body":"I mean, here we are."},{"startTime":1065.939,"endTime":1067.232,"body":"We're very tall."},{"startTime":1067.232,"endTime":1071.487,"body":"And when I was thinking about it, like"},{"startTime":1067.232,"endTime":1071.487,"body":"trying to do it, how I was told to do it,"},{"startTime":1071.487,"endTime":1075.282,"body":"or how the gym teacher showed us"},{"startTime":1071.487,"endTime":1075.282,"body":"how to do it, I really could have just"},{"startTime":1075.282,"endTime":1078.577,"body":"been able to get my arms up really high"},{"startTime":1075.282,"endTime":1078.577,"body":"and then pull the rest of myself."},{"startTime":1079.328,"endTime":1081.121,"body":"My ass up."},{"startTime":1081.121,"endTime":1082.706,"body":"I would have been halfway done,"},{"startTime":1082.706,"endTime":1086.293,"body":"but instead I had to do it like the short"},{"startTime":1082.706,"endTime":1086.293,"body":"jock girls."},{"startTime":1086.376,"endTime":1088.712,"body":"It just so I never got tired."},{"startTime":1088.712,"endTime":1090.422,"body":"I never got more than halfway up the rope."},{"startTime":1090.422,"endTime":1093.425,"body":"Well, as someone who has never been"},{"startTime":1090.422,"endTime":1093.425,"body":"blessed with upper"},{"startTime":1093.425,"endTime":1096.386,"body":"body strength, I just, like, shy away"},{"startTime":1093.425,"endTime":1096.386,"body":"from any of those things because it's like"},{"startTime":1096.887,"endTime":1099.932,"body":"things you feel like if I'm being like,"},{"startTime":1096.887,"endTime":1099.932,"body":"pull up from a helicopter rescue,"},{"startTime":1100.182,"endTime":1101.266,"body":"I'll drop, you know?"},{"startTime":1101.266,"endTime":1103.852,"body":"I mean, it's like having to pull yourself"},{"startTime":1101.266,"endTime":1103.852,"body":"up out of a pool, you know?"},{"startTime":1103.852,"endTime":1104.52,"body":"I mean, oh,"},{"startTime":1104.52,"endTime":1107.523,"body":"you know, worried that I'll never be able,"},{"startTime":1104.52,"endTime":1107.523,"body":"like, pull myself up off a cliff."},{"startTime":1108.023,"endTime":1110.067,"body":"When is the last time you climbed a rope?"},{"startTime":1110.067,"endTime":1112.236,"body":"The last time I attempted it, Yeah."},{"startTime":1112.236,"endTime":1114.78,"body":"Was in junior high school."},{"startTime":1112.236,"endTime":1114.78,"body":"Yeah, probably like ninth or 10th grade."},{"startTime":1114.78,"endTime":1116.49,"body":"So we never we didn't have to do that."},{"startTime":1116.49,"endTime":1119.284,"body":"But there were also all kinds of things"},{"startTime":1116.49,"endTime":1119.284,"body":"that I would just be last."},{"startTime":1119.284,"endTime":1122.621,"body":"And usually I would position myself"},{"startTime":1119.284,"endTime":1122.621,"body":"last in line so that hopefully they'd"},{"startTime":1122.996,"endTime":1126.166,"body":"just run out of class time. Or smart."},{"startTime":1126.25,"endTime":1129.336,"body":"Or there would be like another activity"},{"startTime":1126.25,"endTime":1129.336,"body":"that everybody else had moved on to."},{"startTime":1129.378,"endTime":1132.047,"body":"So you just kind of like shrug your"},{"startTime":1129.378,"endTime":1132.047,"body":"shoulders and move on to the next group."},{"startTime":1132.047,"endTime":1133.966,"body":"Oh, okay. Yeah, I think that too."},{"startTime":1133.966,"endTime":1135.592,"body":"Like we had like certain things"},{"startTime":1133.966,"endTime":1135.592,"body":"we had to hit,"},{"startTime":1135.592,"endTime":1138.595,"body":"like on the day"},{"startTime":1135.592,"endTime":1138.595,"body":"that there was like the physical day or"},{"startTime":1139.596,"endTime":1140.639,"body":"whatever that was."},{"startTime":1140.639,"endTime":1143.517,"body":"They made me okay because I'm tall,"},{"startTime":1140.639,"endTime":1143.517,"body":"so they put me in the same"},{"startTime":1143.517,"endTime":1147.02,"body":"like percentile of like all the athletes"},{"startTime":1143.517,"endTime":1147.02,"body":"that were like, whatever, but I'm shitty."},{"startTime":1147.02,"endTime":1150.023,"body":"So when we had to race,"},{"startTime":1147.02,"endTime":1150.023,"body":"I mean, I was up against like the sixth"},{"startTime":1150.065,"endTime":1153.902,"body":"fastest guys and they ran off"},{"startTime":1150.065,"endTime":1153.902,"body":"and I just exited the race, you know?"},{"startTime":1153.902,"endTime":1155.237,"body":"I mean, like,"},{"startTime":1153.902,"endTime":1155.237,"body":"I didn't cross the finish line."},{"startTime":1155.237,"endTime":1157.072,"body":"I just ran into the crowd. You did?"},{"startTime":1157.072,"endTime":1159.241,"body":"Because nobody noticed. That the."},{"startTime":1159.241,"endTime":1163.203,"body":"Five guys went fast and there was just me"},{"startTime":1159.241,"endTime":1163.203,"body":"flailing behind."},{"startTime":1163.203,"endTime":1164.788,"body":"Oh, man, that reminds me."},{"startTime":1164.788,"endTime":1165.956,"body":"I was trying like mad."},{"startTime":1165.956,"endTime":1168.625,"body":"Get on the track team. And why?"},{"startTime":1168.625,"endTime":1171.628,"body":"I just thought, well,"},{"startTime":1168.625,"endTime":1171.628,"body":"I didn't get on the cheerleading team."},{"startTime":1171.628,"endTime":1173.839,"body":"I didn't get on any kind of team that was."},{"startTime":1173.839,"endTime":1176.133,"body":"You auditioned for cheerleader"},{"startTime":1173.839,"endTime":1176.133,"body":"or whatever."},{"startTime":1176.133,"endTime":1178.552,"body":"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":1176.133,"endTime":1178.552,"body":"I was shut down this way."},{"startTime":1178.552,"endTime":1179.219,"body":"What was that about?"},{"startTime":1179.219,"endTime":1181.096,"body":"I want to get back to the running,"},{"startTime":1179.219,"endTime":1181.096,"body":"but I won't talk about the cheerleader."},{"startTime":1181.096,"endTime":1181.471,"body":"Oh, well,"},{"startTime":1181.471,"endTime":1186.143,"body":"they would show us, like, briefly, like"},{"startTime":1181.471,"endTime":1186.143,"body":"there'd be a, you know, senior cheerleader"},{"startTime":1186.393,"endTime":1188.52,"body":"who would show the girls"},{"startTime":1186.393,"endTime":1188.52,"body":"they were auditioning."},{"startTime":1188.52,"endTime":1190.022,"body":"You know, a couple of cheers. Yeah."},{"startTime":1190.022,"endTime":1190.772,"body":"And then."},{"startTime":1190.772,"endTime":1193.775,"body":"Then you're supposed to go home"},{"startTime":1190.772,"endTime":1193.775,"body":"or whatever and work on the next day."},{"startTime":1194.067,"endTime":1198.03,"body":"And I was just, like, flailing all"},{"startTime":1194.067,"endTime":1198.03,"body":"over the place and just I couldn't do it."},{"startTime":1198.03,"endTime":1199.531,"body":"And was it something you and your friends"},{"startTime":1199.531,"endTime":1200.908,"body":"wanted to do, or was it"},{"startTime":1199.531,"endTime":1200.908,"body":"something that, you."},{"startTime":1200.908,"endTime":1202.826,"body":"Know, something I wanted to do"},{"startTime":1200.908,"endTime":1202.826,"body":"was really trying to."},{"startTime":1202.826,"endTime":1204.244,"body":"Be popular? Yeah."},{"startTime":1204.244,"endTime":1207.247,"body":"And so anyway,"},{"startTime":1204.244,"endTime":1207.247,"body":"but so I tried to join the track team"},{"startTime":1207.456,"endTime":1211.21,"body":"and that was like, you know,"},{"startTime":1207.456,"endTime":1211.21,"body":"all these gals on long distance runs."},{"startTime":1211.21,"endTime":1213.253,"body":"I figured nobody was paying attention."},{"startTime":1213.253,"endTime":1216.965,"body":"So I would we were really close,"},{"startTime":1213.253,"endTime":1216.965,"body":"but I would go home and eat. And"},{"startTime":1218.008,"endTime":1220.219,"body":"try and catch up and."},{"startTime":1220.219,"endTime":1222.512,"body":"And I know exactly"},{"startTime":1220.219,"endTime":1222.512,"body":"and not going to say her name."},{"startTime":1222.512,"endTime":1225.39,"body":"Somebody told on."},{"startTime":1225.39,"endTime":1227.309,"body":"So everybody leaves running."},{"startTime":1227.309,"endTime":1228.727,"body":"You go home. Yeah."},{"startTime":1228.727,"endTime":1230.854,"body":"Because it was like,"},{"startTime":1228.727,"endTime":1230.854,"body":"you know, you have to pace yourself."},{"startTime":1230.854,"endTime":1232.94,"body":"It's going to be"},{"startTime":1230.854,"endTime":1232.94,"body":"this many miles around her."},{"startTime":1232.94,"endTime":1234.566,"body":"And I was like, Well,"},{"startTime":1232.94,"endTime":1234.566,"body":"I'm going to go home and eat out."},{"startTime":1234.566,"endTime":1236.068,"body":"So what if I come in last? Yeah, whatever."},{"startTime":1236.068,"endTime":1237.945,"body":"Because it's just like, who cares? Yeah."},{"startTime":1237.945,"endTime":1239.947,"body":"So this young girl told them."},{"startTime":1239.947,"endTime":1245.786,"body":"So then I had to give back my track outfit"},{"startTime":1239.947,"endTime":1245.786,"body":"and I had a pep rally kind of thing."},{"startTime":1245.786,"endTime":1247.663,"body":"We like it as punishment."},{"startTime":1247.663,"endTime":1249.873,"body":"No, no. In front of the school."},{"startTime":1249.873,"endTime":1252.459,"body":"They just robbed you or whatever"},{"startTime":1249.873,"endTime":1252.459,"body":"they took you?"},{"startTime":1252.459,"endTime":1253.043,"body":"Yeah, they."},{"startTime":1253.043,"endTime":1255.003,"body":"Oh, yeah, you did. And your uniform?"},{"startTime":1255.003,"endTime":1256.338,"body":"Well, yeah,"},{"startTime":1255.003,"endTime":1256.338,"body":"because it was like there was, like,"},{"startTime":1256.338,"endTime":1259.341,"body":"this small little section of kids"},{"startTime":1256.338,"endTime":1259.341,"body":"who had fucked up, like this kid."},{"startTime":1259.508,"endTime":1260.592,"body":"Who is who was really."},{"startTime":1260.592,"endTime":1263.262,"body":"Drunk,"},{"startTime":1260.592,"endTime":1263.262,"body":"and he and he, like, fell through this."},{"startTime":1263.262,"endTime":1266.682,"body":"You know, it's kind of like why"},{"startTime":1263.262,"endTime":1266.682,"body":"we were being suspended or whatever."},{"startTime":1266.682,"endTime":1269.726,"body":"Although I wasn't suspended,"},{"startTime":1266.682,"endTime":1269.726,"body":"I just had to get back my things."},{"startTime":1269.726,"endTime":1273.021,"body":"And also, I think I bought my"},{"startTime":1269.726,"endTime":1273.021,"body":"We all had to buy you to pay for that."},{"startTime":1273.063,"endTime":1275.44,"body":"Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Yeah,"},{"startTime":1273.063,"endTime":1275.44,"body":"but what's the point?"},{"startTime":1275.44,"endTime":1277.317,"body":"I mean, like, it's"},{"startTime":1275.44,"endTime":1277.317,"body":"not like you were cheating or something."},{"startTime":1277.317,"endTime":1280.112,"body":"It's like you were Daniel. I was cheating."},{"startTime":1280.112,"endTime":1282.656,"body":"Everybody was sweating our asses off"},{"startTime":1280.112,"endTime":1282.656,"body":"and working really hard."},{"startTime":1282.656,"endTime":1285.242,"body":"I got home to eat."},{"startTime":1282.656,"endTime":1285.242,"body":"I went home. But you. Got last."},{"startTime":1286.451,"endTime":1287.202,"body":"So, like you."},{"startTime":1287.202,"endTime":1290.205,"body":"My mom, and I said, Ah, shit,"},{"startTime":1287.202,"endTime":1290.205,"body":"I better. Get"},{"startTime":1290.455,"endTime":1291.29,"body":"back. On the road."},{"startTime":1291.29,"endTime":1294.167,"body":"God, I wish I had been ballsy enough"},{"startTime":1291.29,"endTime":1294.167,"body":"to pull shit like that."},{"startTime":1294.167,"endTime":1294.835,"body":"I think that's funny."},{"startTime":1294.835,"endTime":1296.378,"body":"Like, shouldn't there be, like,"},{"startTime":1294.835,"endTime":1296.378,"body":"a track team"},{"startTime":1296.378,"endTime":1299.464,"body":"that can can stop and eat"},{"startTime":1296.378,"endTime":1299.464,"body":"and then continue."},{"startTime":1299.506,"endTime":1301.591,"body":"To you leave a trail of mac and cheese"},{"startTime":1299.506,"endTime":1301.591,"body":"coming back from."},{"startTime":1301.591,"endTime":1303.719,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah out of my."},{"startTime":1303.719,"endTime":1306.68,"body":"But so what you did"},{"startTime":1303.719,"endTime":1306.68,"body":"you did track and field"},{"startTime":1306.68,"endTime":1308.223,"body":"or what"},{"startTime":1306.68,"endTime":1308.223,"body":"you were trying to be on the track team."},{"startTime":1308.223,"endTime":1310.809,"body":"Yeah. Yeah. The long distance."},{"startTime":1308.223,"endTime":1310.809,"body":"And the cheerleading thing."},{"startTime":1310.809,"endTime":1313.145,"body":"What else."},{"startTime":1310.809,"endTime":1313.145,"body":"What else did you try to do to be popular?"},{"startTime":1313.145,"endTime":1316.773,"body":"I gave up on being popular,"},{"startTime":1313.145,"endTime":1316.773,"body":"and then I became the editor"},{"startTime":1316.773,"endTime":1320.861,"body":"of the newspaper,"},{"startTime":1316.773,"endTime":1320.861,"body":"and I was the president of Drama Club."},{"startTime":1321.403,"endTime":1321.862,"body":"All right?"},{"startTime":1321.862,"endTime":1323.155,"body":"I was the vice president."},{"startTime":1323.155,"endTime":1325.949,"body":"Oh, really? Drama club. Okay."},{"startTime":1323.155,"endTime":1325.949,"body":"Because I just said."},{"startTime":1325.949,"endTime":1327.326,"body":"You would have been my. Prom date."},{"startTime":1329.578,"endTime":1332.456,"body":"Damn it, I am gay, but I."},{"startTime":1332.456,"endTime":1335.459,"body":"Oh, God damn it."},{"startTime":1336.418,"endTime":1337.419,"body":"I know, I know."},{"startTime":1337.419,"endTime":1339.421,"body":"That's what it is."},{"startTime":1339.421,"endTime":1340.964,"body":"Oh, I. Well, I loved."},{"startTime":1340.964,"endTime":1345.093,"body":"I did go to prom with, like, my friend,"},{"startTime":1340.964,"endTime":1345.093,"body":"um, and I wore a FUBU suit,"},{"startTime":1345.093,"endTime":1347.179,"body":"which is a culturally appropriate, too,"},{"startTime":1347.179,"endTime":1349.639,"body":"but I didn't know it was the only suit"},{"startTime":1347.179,"endTime":1349.639,"body":"that fit me. It was a triple bra."},{"startTime":1349.639,"endTime":1352.1,"body":"Whatever. Three breasted,"},{"startTime":1349.639,"endTime":1352.1,"body":"which is. Yeah, it's flipping out."},{"startTime":1352.1,"endTime":1352.476,"body":"Well, because."},{"startTime":1352.476,"endTime":1357.23,"body":"It could Please FUBU bring it be"},{"startTime":1352.476,"endTime":1357.23,"body":"you is is colloquially for us by us."},{"startTime":1357.23,"endTime":1362.444,"body":"Which is like a black owned black"},{"startTime":1357.23,"endTime":1362.444,"body":"made like tux company super so small."},{"startTime":1362.652,"endTime":1365.53,"body":"Is that like baggy. They had no."},{"startTime":1365.53,"endTime":1369.993,"body":"Yes I had a few have the logo"},{"startTime":1365.53,"endTime":1369.993,"body":"I know the buttons did and"},{"startTime":1370.16,"endTime":1374.289,"body":"and the inside did but"},{"startTime":1370.16,"endTime":1374.289,"body":"the outside of the tuxedo was just black."},{"startTime":1374.289,"endTime":1377.042,"body":"Right. With tuxedo. Yes."},{"startTime":1374.289,"endTime":1377.042,"body":"I had what makes it did."},{"startTime":1377.042,"endTime":1378.877,"body":"Why was that different than other tuxedo."},{"startTime":1378.877,"endTime":1381.171,"body":"So I guess it might have been"},{"startTime":1378.877,"endTime":1381.171,"body":"I might be wrong about this."},{"startTime":1381.171,"endTime":1384.758,"body":"FUBU was maybe new ish in the nineties,"},{"startTime":1381.171,"endTime":1384.758,"body":"but it was like strictly"},{"startTime":1384.758,"endTime":1388.095,"body":"like something that, like black"},{"startTime":1384.758,"endTime":1388.095,"body":"people wore because it was for us by us."},{"startTime":1388.095,"endTime":1392.432,"body":"Oh, like in the nineties, Tommy Hilfiger"},{"startTime":1388.095,"endTime":1392.432,"body":"and like Ralph"},{"startTime":1392.432,"endTime":1395.769,"body":"Lauren have these kind of racist rumors"},{"startTime":1392.432,"endTime":1395.769,"body":"about them, sort of."},{"startTime":1395.769,"endTime":1400.023,"body":"But it I don't know if was true"},{"startTime":1395.769,"endTime":1400.023,"body":"but the logo was the F-you."},{"startTime":1400.107,"endTime":1401.191,"body":"Yeah I. Remember Yeah."},{"startTime":1401.191,"endTime":1404.903,"body":"And it would be huge like all over"},{"startTime":1401.191,"endTime":1404.903,"body":"whatever the garment was right."},{"startTime":1405.237,"endTime":1408.24,"body":"Yeah but the tuxedo I would have"},{"startTime":1405.237,"endTime":1408.24,"body":"problem was very subdued."},{"startTime":1408.573,"endTime":1409.116,"body":"What color?"},{"startTime":1409.116,"endTime":1411.034,"body":"Black. Okay, triple bright,"},{"startTime":1409.116,"endTime":1411.034,"body":"which was the point."},{"startTime":1411.034,"endTime":1412.661,"body":"I was tall and lanky and like,"},{"startTime":1412.661,"endTime":1414.663,"body":"it was the only triple breasted"},{"startTime":1412.661,"endTime":1414.663,"body":"that, like, fit me nicely."},{"startTime":1414.663,"endTime":1416.415,"body":"That didn't make me look like"},{"startTime":1414.663,"endTime":1416.415,"body":"I was working my dad's suit."},{"startTime":1416.415,"endTime":1418.333,"body":"Anyway,"},{"startTime":1416.415,"endTime":1418.333,"body":"I don't even nearly be canceled for that."},{"startTime":1418.333,"endTime":1420.794,"body":"I have no idea what triple breasted,"},{"startTime":1418.333,"endTime":1420.794,"body":"maybe."},{"startTime":1420.794,"endTime":1422.796,"body":"Three breasts or three"},{"startTime":1420.794,"endTime":1422.796,"body":"when there's three buttons."},{"startTime":1422.796,"endTime":1423.88,"body":"Yeah. Oh, God."},{"startTime":1423.88,"endTime":1426.883,"body":"I thought, like,"},{"startTime":1423.88,"endTime":1426.883,"body":"when I've only heard of double breasted."},{"startTime":1426.925,"endTime":1430.804,"body":"And I thought that meant, like, a vest"},{"startTime":1426.925,"endTime":1430.804,"body":"that's connected or something."},{"startTime":1430.804,"endTime":1432.806,"body":"I don't know. I never knew what it meant."},{"startTime":1430.804,"endTime":1432.806,"body":"I didn't know anything."},{"startTime":1432.806,"endTime":1433.39,"body":"I didn't even know."},{"startTime":1433.39,"endTime":1433.723,"body":"I don't know."},{"startTime":1433.723,"endTime":1435.6,"body":"I'm better terms like garment terms,"},{"startTime":1435.6,"endTime":1438.603,"body":"but, yeah, I went to prom with, like,"},{"startTime":1435.6,"endTime":1438.603,"body":"my best friend and I."},{"startTime":1438.687,"endTime":1441.731,"body":"And it was like, the recipe for your gay."},{"startTime":1441.857,"endTime":1443.817,"body":"Oh, like when you go with your hag."},{"startTime":1443.817,"endTime":1446.903,"body":"Okay. Was your date gay? Yeah. Yeah,"},{"startTime":1443.817,"endTime":1446.903,"body":"but I."},{"startTime":1447.112,"endTime":1449.823,"body":"You know, back then,"},{"startTime":1447.112,"endTime":1449.823,"body":"I know I'm older than you."},{"startTime":1449.823,"endTime":1451.491,"body":"That wasn't like a thing."},{"startTime":1451.491,"endTime":1452.367,"body":"He wasn't."},{"startTime":1452.367,"endTime":1454.87,"body":"He wasn't out and."},{"startTime":1454.87,"endTime":1456.163,"body":"And, you know, he was gay."},{"startTime":1456.163,"endTime":1458.039,"body":"I thought he was"},{"startTime":1456.163,"endTime":1458.039,"body":"stylish, is what I thought."},{"startTime":1458.039,"endTime":1462.711,"body":"Because the I'm from the time also where"},{"startTime":1458.039,"endTime":1462.711,"body":"it wasn't like a thing and it was either"},{"startTime":1462.711,"endTime":1466.965,"body":"maybe a rumor or they were just like,"},{"startTime":1462.711,"endTime":1466.965,"body":"Yeah, like stylish or very funny."},{"startTime":1467.132,"endTime":1469.634,"body":"Yeah, very. Funny. He's very funny."},{"startTime":1467.132,"endTime":1469.634,"body":"Funny. Very."},{"startTime":1469.634,"endTime":1472.345,"body":"You hear that? Like where he was then."},{"startTime":1472.345,"endTime":1476.057,"body":"And one of the clues was,"},{"startTime":1472.345,"endTime":1476.057,"body":"do you know what you're going to wear?"},{"startTime":1476.099,"endTime":1478.018,"body":"Who? And should I go with you"},{"startTime":1479.436,"endTime":1480.479,"body":"to pick out your dress?"},{"startTime":1480.479,"endTime":1482.481,"body":"Uh huh. Well, clues"},{"startTime":1480.479,"endTime":1482.481,"body":"that he was gay or closeted."},{"startTime":1482.481,"endTime":1485.442,"body":"He didn't trust your style."},{"startTime":1482.481,"endTime":1485.442,"body":"I didn't trust, you know."},{"startTime":1485.442,"endTime":1487.819,"body":"And he was right."},{"startTime":1485.442,"endTime":1487.819,"body":"He was right to know that."},{"startTime":1487.819,"endTime":1491.239,"body":"But then he he showed up and he looked"},{"startTime":1487.819,"endTime":1491.239,"body":"he looked great."},{"startTime":1491.239,"endTime":1492.365,"body":"Kevin."},{"startTime":1492.365,"endTime":1495.535,"body":"He he was a tall, blond guy,"},{"startTime":1492.365,"endTime":1495.535,"body":"and he had on, like, a light"},{"startTime":1495.535,"endTime":1499.206,"body":"blue tuxedo with a white roughly thing."},{"startTime":1499.498,"endTime":1503.001,"body":"And I think he was just wanted to"},{"startTime":1499.498,"endTime":1503.001,"body":"make sure we were going to kind of match."},{"startTime":1503.001,"endTime":1507.964,"body":"But we also went with a group with so sort"},{"startTime":1503.001,"endTime":1507.964,"body":"of like that's another gay signal. Yes."},{"startTime":1507.964,"endTime":1510.509,"body":"If it's not like an intimate one,"},{"startTime":1507.964,"endTime":1510.509,"body":"one being So."},{"startTime":1510.509,"endTime":1512.761,"body":"Yeah, two other gals and."},{"startTime":1512.761,"endTime":1514.846,"body":"Oh, when you go with a group"},{"startTime":1512.761,"endTime":1514.846,"body":"and there's oh, okay. Yeah."},{"startTime":1514.846,"endTime":1515.722,"body":"I was like when you go in a group"},{"startTime":1515.722,"endTime":1517.766,"body":"and it's all women,"},{"startTime":1515.722,"endTime":1517.766,"body":"I was like, Yeah, that's a huge."},{"startTime":1517.766,"endTime":1519.476,"body":"Yeah, it's a mega. Yeah,"},{"startTime":1517.766,"endTime":1519.476,"body":"I think it kind of."},{"startTime":1519.476,"endTime":1521.895,"body":"You think there was romance in the air?"},{"startTime":1519.476,"endTime":1521.895,"body":"Y'all were going as friends?"},{"startTime":1521.895,"endTime":1525.148,"body":"No, I was pretty sure"},{"startTime":1521.895,"endTime":1525.148,"body":"we were going as friends."},{"startTime":1525.148,"endTime":1529.11,"body":"And then I thought"},{"startTime":1525.148,"endTime":1529.11,"body":"maybe he was more interested in me."},{"startTime":1529.11,"endTime":1531.655,"body":"But then there was one year."},{"startTime":1531.655,"endTime":1534.032,"body":"There was a dildo that fell out"},{"startTime":1531.655,"endTime":1534.032,"body":"of your purse that was interesting."},{"startTime":1534.032,"endTime":1538.662,"body":"You know,"},{"startTime":1534.032,"endTime":1538.662,"body":"I went with my friend's younger brother,"},{"startTime":1538.995,"endTime":1542.207,"body":"and this is like my senior year, and"},{"startTime":1538.995,"endTime":1542.207,"body":"I think he was two years younger than me."},{"startTime":1542.249,"endTime":1542.582,"body":"Okay?"},{"startTime":1542.582,"endTime":1546.211,"body":"And I was like, I'm not going to go"},{"startTime":1542.582,"endTime":1546.211,"body":"to college and be a fucking virgin, right?"},{"startTime":1546.294,"endTime":1548.672,"body":"And so I was really hitting on this kid."},{"startTime":1548.672,"endTime":1549.965,"body":"He was like, I was 17."},{"startTime":1549.965,"endTime":1551.174,"body":"I think it was like 15."},{"startTime":1551.174,"endTime":1554.636,"body":"And so first of all, I feel like a but we"},{"startTime":1554.636,"endTime":1557.639,"body":"I had my mom buy him a case of Blatz"},{"startTime":1554.636,"endTime":1557.639,"body":"just to go with me."},{"startTime":1558.056,"endTime":1561.56,"body":"And then, and then I was like,"},{"startTime":1558.056,"endTime":1561.56,"body":"Let's do it."},{"startTime":1562.143,"endTime":1564.729,"body":"And he was like, well, you know, kind of"},{"startTime":1562.143,"endTime":1564.729,"body":"and he was so cute."},{"startTime":1564.729,"endTime":1565.272,"body":"And I said,"},{"startTime":1565.272,"endTime":1569.192,"body":"I think one of the magic things"},{"startTime":1565.272,"endTime":1569.192,"body":"I said was, it doesn't have to be special."},{"startTime":1571.945,"endTime":1573.154,"body":"It just has to happen."},{"startTime":1573.154,"endTime":1574.781,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1574.781,"endTime":1576.575,"body":"So then I didn't lose that."},{"startTime":1576.575,"endTime":1577.951,"body":"So I went to college."},{"startTime":1577.951,"endTime":1578.952,"body":"Yeah,"},{"startTime":1578.952,"endTime":1582.539,"body":"Yeah, I lost one virginity in high school"},{"startTime":1578.952,"endTime":1582.539,"body":"and then the other virginity in college."},{"startTime":1582.539,"endTime":1584.583,"body":"Oh, I know."},{"startTime":1584.583,"endTime":1588.295,"body":"But I went to prom twice,"},{"startTime":1584.583,"endTime":1588.295,"body":"but I went with my girlfriend at the time,"},{"startTime":1588.295,"endTime":1589.337,"body":"which is hilarious. Meg."},{"startTime":1589.337,"endTime":1592.215,"body":"And we same thing. That was like"},{"startTime":1589.337,"endTime":1592.215,"body":"I went with her."},{"startTime":1592.215,"endTime":1594.092,"body":"I think we were dating,"},{"startTime":1592.215,"endTime":1594.092,"body":"but then we all had friends"},{"startTime":1594.092,"endTime":1595.885,"body":"that we all went to the hotel room,"},{"startTime":1594.092,"endTime":1595.885,"body":"right? To get like."},{"startTime":1595.885,"endTime":1596.845,"body":"Oh yeah, whatever."},{"startTime":1596.845,"endTime":1601.474,"body":"And we rented it was for this kids"},{"startTime":1596.845,"endTime":1601.474,"body":"mom had paid for the hotel room,"},{"startTime":1601.474,"endTime":1603.81,"body":"which is hilarious. Oh, he was gay."},{"startTime":1603.81,"endTime":1604.144,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1604.144,"endTime":1606.73,"body":"And I think his mom literally"},{"startTime":1604.144,"endTime":1606.73,"body":"was like getting the hotel room"},{"startTime":1606.73,"endTime":1609.065,"body":"so that maybe he might have sex"},{"startTime":1606.73,"endTime":1609.065,"body":"with a girl."},{"startTime":1609.065,"endTime":1609.983,"body":"Like, I'm not kidding."},{"startTime":1609.983,"endTime":1611.401,"body":"I truly think that was."},{"startTime":1611.401,"endTime":1613.903,"body":"I don't want you to do anything"},{"startTime":1611.401,"endTime":1613.903,"body":"unless you do it in front of me."},{"startTime":1613.903,"endTime":1614.779,"body":"Right? Exactly."},{"startTime":1614.779,"endTime":1615.488,"body":"She was in the room."},{"startTime":1615.488,"endTime":1617.699,"body":"Yeah,"},{"startTime":1615.488,"endTime":1617.699,"body":"She was of our generation somewhere else."},{"startTime":1617.699,"endTime":1620.452,"body":"US kids."},{"startTime":1617.699,"endTime":1620.452,"body":"I want you all to have a good night."},{"startTime":1620.452,"endTime":1622.203,"body":"Yeah. So we're in the room, and it's."},{"startTime":1622.203,"endTime":1625.04,"body":"He's kind of being cool"},{"startTime":1622.203,"endTime":1625.04,"body":"because I like guys. It's my mom's card."},{"startTime":1625.04,"endTime":1627.459,"body":"Like he could bring in the mom"},{"startTime":1625.04,"endTime":1627.459,"body":"paying for the room,"},{"startTime":1627.459,"endTime":1629.127,"body":"but we rent it on pay per view."},{"startTime":1629.127,"endTime":1632.422,"body":"The Tom Tommy Lee. And what's her face?"},{"startTime":1632.714,"endTime":1634.299,"body":"Pamela The porn."},{"startTime":1634.299,"endTime":1636.718,"body":"Oh, wow. Back in the day."},{"startTime":1634.299,"endTime":1636.718,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":1636.718,"endTime":1638.261,"body":"And first of all, if you haven't seen it,"},{"startTime":1638.261,"endTime":1640.889,"body":"there's not a lot of sex"},{"startTime":1638.261,"endTime":1640.889,"body":"and there's a lot of talk."},{"startTime":1640.889,"endTime":1642.182,"body":"They're very chatty, right?"},{"startTime":1642.182,"endTime":1645.31,"body":"Oh, well, we were horny teenagers"},{"startTime":1642.182,"endTime":1645.31,"body":"and want to just to see whatever"},{"startTime":1645.31,"endTime":1647.729,"body":"the sex looks like. Yeah,"},{"startTime":1645.31,"endTime":1647.729,"body":"and they're so chatty."},{"startTime":1647.729,"endTime":1650.315,"body":"We got bored and we change the channel,"},{"startTime":1647.729,"endTime":1650.315,"body":"and that is when we learned"},{"startTime":1650.315,"endTime":1653.318,"body":"if you order sex off of Pay-Per-View"},{"startTime":1650.315,"endTime":1653.318,"body":"and change the channel,"},{"startTime":1653.401,"endTime":1657.03,"body":"it cancels the rental and you have to re"},{"startTime":1653.401,"endTime":1657.03,"body":"rent it and start it all over again."},{"startTime":1657.781,"endTime":1660.909,"body":"So just when we got through the chatty"},{"startTime":1657.781,"endTime":1660.909,"body":"parts of Tommy and Pam,"},{"startTime":1660.909,"endTime":1662.285,"body":"we had to sit through it all again."},{"startTime":1662.285,"endTime":1664.704,"body":"Oh, like he drives the boat with his dick."},{"startTime":1664.704,"endTime":1666.456,"body":"Wait, but couldn't you just fast forward?"},{"startTime":1666.456,"endTime":1667.582,"body":"This was in the day, though."},{"startTime":1667.582,"endTime":1669.501,"body":"Oh, no, no, I guess not."},{"startTime":1669.501,"endTime":1672.545,"body":"Oh, we would have had to call pay per view"},{"startTime":1669.501,"endTime":1672.545,"body":"and ask them to advance the scene."},{"startTime":1674.214,"endTime":1675.09,"body":"But no, that was great."},{"startTime":1675.09,"endTime":1677.008,"body":"That was my friend. Drives"},{"startTime":1675.09,"endTime":1677.008,"body":"a boat with his. Dick."},{"startTime":1677.008,"endTime":1679.052,"body":"We well, that was like the horniest thing"},{"startTime":1679.052,"endTime":1682.055,"body":"we got to before we changed the channel"},{"startTime":1679.052,"endTime":1682.055,"body":"because it's not a hard dick."},{"startTime":1682.263,"endTime":1683.014,"body":"Oh, okay."},{"startTime":1683.014,"endTime":1684.391,"body":"And then it's actually very cute."},{"startTime":1684.391,"endTime":1687.268,"body":"They're very sweet with each other."},{"startTime":1684.391,"endTime":1687.268,"body":"It's kind of endearing."},{"startTime":1687.268,"endTime":1688.436,"body":"I can't even think of like."},{"startTime":1688.436,"endTime":1690.855,"body":"I mean, so you're driving a boat."},{"startTime":1690.855,"endTime":1693.066,"body":"You don't need to shift gears,"},{"startTime":1693.066,"endTime":1694.984,"body":"right? Like, well. You have saggy balls."},{"startTime":1694.984,"endTime":1697.32,"body":"So maybe that was like,"},{"startTime":1694.984,"endTime":1697.32,"body":"I don't know. I'm not."},{"startTime":1697.32,"endTime":1699.322,"body":"See, Captain. Okay."},{"startTime":1699.322,"endTime":1699.698,"body":"You know."},{"startTime":1699.698,"endTime":1701.783,"body":"Sorry, Mary, narrow your soil capital."},{"startTime":1701.783,"endTime":1704.786,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1707.497,"endTime":1708.289,"body":"I'm going to be so mad"},{"startTime":1708.289,"endTime":1712.377,"body":"if I die in a mass shoot, I'm just going"},{"startTime":1708.289,"endTime":1712.377,"body":"to be angry because that's she way to go."},{"startTime":1712.419,"endTime":1717.09,"body":"And also, the location matters because"},{"startTime":1712.419,"endTime":1717.09,"body":"I will always bring up some poor woman."},{"startTime":1717.09,"endTime":1719.884,"body":"Like there was a mass shooting,"},{"startTime":1717.09,"endTime":1719.884,"body":"like a Lane Bryant."},{"startTime":1719.884,"endTime":1721.261,"body":"I think that's"},{"startTime":1719.884,"endTime":1721.261,"body":"the main thing in the world."},{"startTime":1721.261,"endTime":1723.179,"body":"Oh, yeah, right. Like, can you imagine?"},{"startTime":1723.179,"endTime":1724.18,"body":"Can you imagine?"},{"startTime":1724.18,"endTime":1727.225,"body":"It's like, what if you got shot of Beals"},{"startTime":1724.18,"endTime":1727.225,"body":"instead of like, rebels or whatever"},{"startTime":1727.225,"endTime":1729.602,"body":"you say? Instead of, like,"},{"startTime":1727.225,"endTime":1729.602,"body":"you know, Nordstrom Rack?"},{"startTime":1729.602,"endTime":1733.732,"body":"Yeah, It's like you got to you've got"},{"startTime":1729.602,"endTime":1733.732,"body":"to be branded as fat all the way to the."},{"startTime":1733.732,"endTime":1735.275,"body":"All the way to the fucking end, right?"},{"startTime":1735.275,"endTime":1736.985,"body":"Or what"},{"startTime":1735.275,"endTime":1736.985,"body":"if you're just shop in a movie theater,"},{"startTime":1736.985,"endTime":1740.488,"body":"which is traditional, but you're"},{"startTime":1736.985,"endTime":1740.488,"body":"at some dumb ass movie, you're Caligula."},{"startTime":1740.613,"endTime":1740.822,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1740.822,"endTime":1744.242,"body":"And then you're with like, you're with,"},{"startTime":1740.822,"endTime":1744.242,"body":"you know, slicker man next to you."},{"startTime":1744.242,"endTime":1744.868,"body":"And then it's like"},{"startTime":1746.035,"endTime":1746.953,"body":"famous comedian Laura"},{"startTime":1746.953,"endTime":1749.956,"body":"Kightlinger caught with handjob"},{"startTime":1751.249,"endTime":1753.209,"body":"aficionado. Yeah."},{"startTime":1753.209,"endTime":1755.67,"body":"Talk about the wrong place"},{"startTime":1753.209,"endTime":1755.67,"body":"at the wrong time."},{"startTime":1755.67,"endTime":1758.673,"body":"My friend gave me a signed autograph"},{"startTime":1755.67,"endTime":1758.673,"body":"of, like, some porn"},{"startTime":1758.798,"endTime":1761.551,"body":"star and a bunch of their DVDs, right?"},{"startTime":1761.551,"endTime":1762.594,"body":"As like, a joke."},{"startTime":1762.594,"endTime":1764.262,"body":"And I was like,"},{"startTime":1762.594,"endTime":1764.262,"body":"I don't want this shit because I know"},{"startTime":1764.262,"endTime":1765.68,"body":"I'm going to get on the highway"},{"startTime":1764.262,"endTime":1765.68,"body":"and drive home"},{"startTime":1765.68,"endTime":1770.018,"body":"and get slammed by a fucking 18 wheeler"},{"startTime":1765.68,"endTime":1770.018,"body":"and it's going to be like porn addict"},{"startTime":1770.018,"endTime":1773.229,"body":"Daniel Webb dies"},{"startTime":1770.018,"endTime":1773.229,"body":"clutching favorite porn memorabilia."},{"startTime":1773.229,"endTime":1775.523,"body":"Go to the bitter end"},{"startTime":1773.229,"endTime":1775.523,"body":"or some bullshit like that."},{"startTime":1775.523,"endTime":1778.026,"body":"That's why"},{"startTime":1775.523,"endTime":1778.026,"body":"I don't keep any of that around the house."},{"startTime":1778.026,"endTime":1778.902,"body":"I don't want any of that."},{"startTime":1778.902,"endTime":1780.028,"body":"Those headlines."},{"startTime":1780.028,"endTime":1782.28,"body":"It's bad enough"},{"startTime":1780.028,"endTime":1782.28,"body":"they show your driver's license picture"},{"startTime":1782.28,"endTime":1785.283,"body":"when you get into"},{"startTime":1782.28,"endTime":1785.283,"body":"any kind of trouble on the news, Right?"},{"startTime":1785.366,"endTime":1785.825,"body":"They don't."},{"startTime":1785.825,"endTime":1786.618,"body":"Or they do that"},{"startTime":1786.618,"endTime":1788.369,"body":"I think they do"},{"startTime":1786.618,"endTime":1788.369,"body":"just because a bunch of Gen Z"},{"startTime":1788.369,"endTime":1790.914,"body":"people are in the production"},{"startTime":1788.369,"endTime":1790.914,"body":"of most like local news. Right."},{"startTime":1790.914,"endTime":1792.207,"body":"All those young kids. Yeah."},{"startTime":1792.207,"endTime":1792.999,"body":"So they're going to grab"},{"startTime":1792.999,"endTime":1797.212,"body":"the ugliest picture from your Facebook"},{"startTime":1792.999,"endTime":1797.212,"body":"and make that your fucking headline"},{"startTime":1797.212,"endTime":1798.171,"body":"banner photo."},{"startTime":1799.255,"endTime":1799.964,"body":"I hate"},{"startTime":1799.964,"endTime":1803.718,"body":"I hate young people because they're"},{"startTime":1799.964,"endTime":1803.718,"body":"they're smarter than me now, right?"},{"startTime":1803.968,"endTime":1806.471,"body":"They're not. But they act smarter."},{"startTime":1806.471,"endTime":1809.599,"body":"You know, I was talking"},{"startTime":1806.471,"endTime":1809.599,"body":"to a friend of mine and she said"},{"startTime":1809.933,"endTime":1813.269,"body":"that her nephew"},{"startTime":1809.933,"endTime":1813.269,"body":"had never been to a school dance"},{"startTime":1813.269,"endTime":1816.606,"body":"because you, you know, came of age"},{"startTime":1813.269,"endTime":1816.606,"body":"during COVID."},{"startTime":1817.232,"endTime":1821.653,"body":"And he's coming out here to go to college"},{"startTime":1817.232,"endTime":1821.653,"body":"in Pepperdine or something, or,"},{"startTime":1821.736,"endTime":1823.029,"body":"oh, our side."},{"startTime":1823.029,"endTime":1825.657,"body":"And I was just like,"},{"startTime":1823.029,"endTime":1825.657,"body":"Damn, that's so weird."},{"startTime":1825.657,"endTime":1827.367,"body":"Like never going to a school."},{"startTime":1827.367,"endTime":1831.496,"body":"Dance"},{"startTime":1827.367,"endTime":1831.496,"body":"or just not having rejection up close and."},{"startTime":1831.496,"endTime":1834.082,"body":"Personal,"},{"startTime":1831.496,"endTime":1834.082,"body":"I guess, or not personal. Knowledge."},{"startTime":1834.082,"endTime":1835.625,"body":"You got to be more steel than that."},{"startTime":1835.625,"endTime":1836.793,"body":"Yeah. By college."},{"startTime":1836.793,"endTime":1838.378,"body":"Yeah. That was like the"},{"startTime":1838.378,"endTime":1842.34,"body":"the first place of immediate rejection"},{"startTime":1838.378,"endTime":1842.34,"body":"was a school dance, right?"},{"startTime":1842.34,"endTime":1845.51,"body":"Our sort of early, we'd be like 12, 13,"},{"startTime":1842.34,"endTime":1845.51,"body":"wherever that is junior high."},{"startTime":1845.969,"endTime":1849.055,"body":"And those days, be it,"},{"startTime":1845.969,"endTime":1849.055,"body":"which was very hard to be"},{"startTime":1849.597,"endTime":1852.851,"body":"a straight man"},{"startTime":1849.597,"endTime":1852.851,"body":"in those in your senses, right?"},{"startTime":1852.892,"endTime":1853.476,"body":"Oh yeah."},{"startTime":1853.476,"endTime":1857.146,"body":"Because like a really good fucking like,"},{"startTime":1853.476,"endTime":1857.146,"body":"you know, YMCA would come on shore"},{"startTime":1857.146,"endTime":1859.44,"body":"or like an office,"},{"startTime":1857.146,"endTime":1859.44,"body":"I would come on and just and you."},{"startTime":1859.44,"endTime":1861.359,"body":"Just had to hide it."},{"startTime":1859.44,"endTime":1861.359,"body":"You had to press it, push it down."},{"startTime":1861.359,"endTime":1862.735,"body":"You didn't know that. Yeah."},{"startTime":1862.735,"endTime":1866.197,"body":"So maybe you accidentally outing yourself"},{"startTime":1862.735,"endTime":1866.197,"body":"because you knew all the words"},{"startTime":1866.197,"endTime":1867.782,"body":"about liberals blowing kisses in the wind."},{"startTime":1869.659,"endTime":1870.827,"body":"Oh, I didn't know."},{"startTime":1870.827,"endTime":1872.745,"body":"Most boys didn't do that."},{"startTime":1872.745,"endTime":1876.332,"body":"Sing that to the woman they were dancing"},{"startTime":1872.745,"endTime":1876.332,"body":"with, the 13 year old woman."},{"startTime":1876.332,"endTime":1879.21,"body":"They were dancing."},{"startTime":1879.21,"endTime":1880.378,"body":"I was set up."},{"startTime":1880.378,"endTime":1885.55,"body":"I think, because this friend I always had"},{"startTime":1880.378,"endTime":1885.55,"body":"older girlfriends, high school."},{"startTime":1886.217,"endTime":1888.845,"body":"And this gal told me to ask her"},{"startTime":1886.217,"endTime":1888.845,"body":"brother out."},{"startTime":1888.845,"endTime":1892.223,"body":"He was this really shy guy"},{"startTime":1888.845,"endTime":1892.223,"body":"and he was so cute."},{"startTime":1892.223,"endTime":1894.726,"body":"He was in what they call"},{"startTime":1892.223,"endTime":1894.726,"body":"the Canadian tuxedo."},{"startTime":1894.726,"endTime":1896.519,"body":"So the jean jacket."},{"startTime":1896.519,"endTime":1897.979,"body":"I think that's hot, though. Yeah."},{"startTime":1897.979,"endTime":1902.442,"body":"And he had always had his hair"},{"startTime":1897.979,"endTime":1902.442,"body":"kind of down over his eyes."},{"startTime":1902.609,"endTime":1905.945,"body":"And I was just really cute"},{"startTime":1902.609,"endTime":1905.945,"body":"and really just really shy."},{"startTime":1905.945,"endTime":1906.946,"body":"Mysterious. Yeah."},{"startTime":1906.946,"endTime":1909.24,"body":"And I, I said, go ahead, ask him."},{"startTime":1909.24,"endTime":1909.991,"body":"He'll go. I'll go."},{"startTime":1909.991,"endTime":1914.203,"body":"So I asked him to the prom"},{"startTime":1909.991,"endTime":1914.203,"body":"and he like, moved his hair to look at me."},{"startTime":1915.747,"endTime":1918.75,"body":"And said, you know, I"},{"startTime":1921.127,"endTime":1921.502,"body":"made."},{"startTime":1921.502,"endTime":1924.088,"body":"Sure to make direct eye. Contact."},{"startTime":1924.088,"endTime":1929.594,"body":"He had to check it out because maybe"},{"startTime":1924.088,"endTime":1929.594,"body":"if there were boobs out or something."},{"startTime":1929.636,"endTime":1931.638,"body":"But I. Just moved my bangs."},{"startTime":1931.638,"endTime":1933.348,"body":"And said, you know."},{"startTime":1933.348,"endTime":1935.058,"body":"Pretty sure it's not going to be."},{"startTime":1935.058,"endTime":1937.602,"body":"Would you tell his sister"},{"startTime":1935.058,"endTime":1937.602,"body":"really what I was like?"},{"startTime":1937.602,"endTime":1940.438,"body":"Just really, I, I was kind of stunned."},{"startTime":1940.438,"endTime":1942.44,"body":"Like, was it a setup?"},{"startTime":1942.44,"endTime":1944.776,"body":"Well, no,"},{"startTime":1942.44,"endTime":1944.776,"body":"but I was like, Yeah, I told her later."},{"startTime":1944.776,"endTime":1946.694,"body":"I said, yeah, he's no, she's what?"},{"startTime":1946.694,"endTime":1948.655,"body":"Yeah, because, I don't know."},{"startTime":1948.655,"endTime":1950.49,"body":"Maybe she went over it with him"},{"startTime":1948.655,"endTime":1950.49,"body":"and or something or."},{"startTime":1950.49,"endTime":1952.825,"body":"Yeah, he made a chicken,"},{"startTime":1950.49,"endTime":1952.825,"body":"He made a chicken down."},{"startTime":1952.825,"endTime":1954.994,"body":"I don't know. Did just smoke Cigarets and."},{"startTime":1954.994,"endTime":1956.913,"body":"He was one of the low D's we call them."},{"startTime":1956.913,"endTime":1958.831,"body":"Why is that where you got Cigarets."},{"startTime":1958.831,"endTime":1961.834,"body":"No, there's also,"},{"startTime":1958.831,"endTime":1961.834,"body":"you know, the loaded smoked pot and."},{"startTime":1961.834,"endTime":1963.086,"body":"And Cigarets. Oh, okay."},{"startTime":1963.086,"endTime":1966.422,"body":"And they were the guys"},{"startTime":1963.086,"endTime":1966.422,"body":"who were also the cutest."},{"startTime":1966.422,"endTime":1968.758,"body":"And then I didn't smoke pot all 16."},{"startTime":1968.758,"endTime":1971.219,"body":"I was like, afraid. Wait, tell me,"},{"startTime":1968.758,"endTime":1971.219,"body":"what about loads?"},{"startTime":1971.219,"endTime":1972.178,"body":"Where does that come from?"},{"startTime":1972.178,"endTime":1973.304,"body":"I have no idea."},{"startTime":1973.304,"endTime":1974.472,"body":"Like being loaded."},{"startTime":1974.472,"endTime":1976.891,"body":"Or just like a kid"},{"startTime":1974.472,"endTime":1976.891,"body":"that smoke cigars and we."},{"startTime":1976.891,"endTime":1979.56,"body":"Yeah, the loads or the grips."},{"startTime":1979.56,"endTime":1980.979,"body":"Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":1980.979,"endTime":1983.106,"body":"I love the ladies. That's good."},{"startTime":1983.106,"endTime":1983.856,"body":"I was a little."},{"startTime":1983.856,"endTime":1985.65,"body":"Well, no, I didn't smoke weed till later"},{"startTime":1983.856,"endTime":1985.65,"body":"either."},{"startTime":1985.65,"endTime":1989.153,"body":"That reminds me, I because we're just"},{"startTime":1985.65,"endTime":1989.153,"body":"having this Cheetos break."},{"startTime":1989.153,"endTime":1991.99,"body":"Were the under the influence"},{"startTime":1989.153,"endTime":1991.99,"body":"or stop with that."},{"startTime":1991.99,"endTime":1995.576,"body":"Yes tears the that clang"},{"startTime":1996.619,"endTime":1997.203,"body":"who was I."},{"startTime":1997.203,"endTime":1998.538,"body":"Oh I was bitching about. Yeah."},{"startTime":1998.538,"endTime":2001.666,"body":"My friend had to go to like"},{"startTime":1998.538,"endTime":2001.666,"body":"he is roommates with a model"},{"startTime":2002.125,"endTime":2005.586,"body":"and a slash influencer"},{"startTime":2002.125,"endTime":2005.586,"body":"but he gets invited all these."},{"startTime":2005.586,"endTime":2008.881,"body":"Male or female. Males. He's a model"},{"startTime":2005.586,"endTime":2008.881,"body":"if that."},{"startTime":2008.881,"endTime":2011.3,"body":"I don't think people even call it"},{"startTime":2008.881,"endTime":2011.3,"body":"that anymore because you're like."},{"startTime":2011.3,"endTime":2013.553,"body":"And you know what I mean?"},{"startTime":2011.3,"endTime":2013.553,"body":"And he'd be more broad than that."},{"startTime":2013.553,"endTime":2014.262,"body":"Oh, okay."},{"startTime":2014.262,"endTime":2015.805,"body":"Anyway, basically he's an atmosphere"},{"startTime":2015.805,"endTime":2018.266,"body":"model is what he's reduced it"},{"startTime":2015.805,"endTime":2018.266,"body":"to, is because he's an influencer."},{"startTime":2018.266,"endTime":2020.059,"body":"So he gets invited all this bullshit,"},{"startTime":2018.266,"endTime":2020.059,"body":"we just go"},{"startTime":2020.059,"endTime":2021.894,"body":"stand around"},{"startTime":2020.059,"endTime":2021.894,"body":"like wait for people to come talk to him."},{"startTime":2021.894,"endTime":2023.604,"body":"Oh, but nobody knows who he is."},{"startTime":2023.604,"endTime":2026.607,"body":"He's just some person on Instagram"},{"startTime":2023.604,"endTime":2026.607,"body":"with a zillion followers. Wow."},{"startTime":2026.649,"endTime":2029.694,"body":"And then he shows up there and it's like,"},{"startTime":2026.649,"endTime":2029.694,"body":"just so he'll be there."},{"startTime":2030.028,"endTime":2032.071,"body":"That's pretty nice, right?"},{"startTime":2032.071,"endTime":2034.073,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2032.071,"endTime":2034.073,"body":"He gets paid for that shit. I'm like, Wow."},{"startTime":2034.073,"endTime":2036.534,"body":"You know,"},{"startTime":2034.073,"endTime":2036.534,"body":"Is that like, the escort of yesteryear?"},{"startTime":2036.534,"endTime":2038.453,"body":"Yeah. We got to stop putting our kids out."},{"startTime":2036.534,"endTime":2038.453,"body":"That's the whole thing."},{"startTime":2038.453,"endTime":2039.078,"body":"Tell me. About."},{"startTime":2039.078,"endTime":2041.748,"body":"I mean, but just a little. Okay."},{"startTime":2041.748,"endTime":2044.542,"body":"Just a line before only fans."},{"startTime":2044.542,"endTime":2045.293,"body":"Okay, so."},{"startTime":2045.293,"endTime":2049.047,"body":"Well, then, like,"},{"startTime":2045.293,"endTime":2049.047,"body":"if you put, like, parts of your body,"},{"startTime":2049.047,"endTime":2053.301,"body":"parts of your body are like background"},{"startTime":2049.047,"endTime":2053.301,"body":"actors or whatever."},{"startTime":2053.301,"endTime":2055.72,"body":"Okay. Yeah, sure. Like extras. Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":2055.72,"endTime":2058.264,"body":"If I have like, one boob"},{"startTime":2055.72,"endTime":2058.264,"body":"thing is better than the other."},{"startTime":2058.264,"endTime":2063.227,"body":"Okay, so maybe that one is ready"},{"startTime":2058.264,"endTime":2063.227,"body":"for a wardrobe malfunction on."},{"startTime":2063.227,"endTime":2064.103,"body":"I feel the camera."},{"startTime":2064.103,"endTime":2064.395,"body":"Is that"},{"startTime":2064.395,"endTime":2066.397,"body":"and this might be"},{"startTime":2064.395,"endTime":2066.397,"body":"I know gender is not a construct,"},{"startTime":2066.397,"endTime":2068.608,"body":"but do women feel that way"},{"startTime":2066.397,"endTime":2068.608,"body":"about their breasts?"},{"startTime":2068.608,"endTime":2070.151,"body":"That there's always one that's different?"},{"startTime":2070.151,"endTime":2072.653,"body":"Because I don't think men feel that way"},{"startTime":2070.151,"endTime":2072.653,"body":"about, like, their balls or anything."},{"startTime":2072.653,"endTime":2073.029,"body":"Right?"},{"startTime":2073.029,"endTime":2076.532,"body":"Or even they're like, yeah,"},{"startTime":2073.029,"endTime":2076.532,"body":"this is another thing that plagues women."},{"startTime":2076.532,"endTime":2078.326,"body":"Yeah, well, I. Mean, God of mean."},{"startTime":2078.326,"endTime":2081.287,"body":"Girl, what do you go ahead and say what"},{"startTime":2078.326,"endTime":2081.287,"body":"you call my boobs?"},{"startTime":2081.329,"endTime":2084.373,"body":"Yes. Please welcome producer"},{"startTime":2081.329,"endTime":2084.373,"body":"Garrett Sutton."},{"startTime":2085.208,"endTime":2087.085,"body":"I just said"},{"startTime":2085.208,"endTime":2087.085,"body":"that you have the tits of an angel."},{"startTime":2087.085,"endTime":2088.878,"body":"He has."},{"startTime":2088.878,"endTime":2089.837,"body":"Look at that."},{"startTime":2089.837,"endTime":2091.839,"body":"And you see what I had to do"},{"startTime":2089.837,"endTime":2091.839,"body":"for a compliment?"},{"startTime":2091.839,"endTime":2093.716,"body":"Here was a beautiful compliment,"},{"startTime":2091.839,"endTime":2093.716,"body":"though. That was."},{"startTime":2093.716,"endTime":2094.842,"body":"I mean. He might be right."},{"startTime":2094.842,"endTime":2098.262,"body":"Okay, so now the question is,"},{"startTime":2094.842,"endTime":2098.262,"body":"what do you do if the person next year,"},{"startTime":2098.262,"endTime":2101.057,"body":"the movie theater, is crying"},{"startTime":2098.262,"endTime":2101.057,"body":"or telling his lady"},{"startTime":2101.057,"endTime":2103.226,"body":"that she is the tits of an angel,"},{"startTime":2101.057,"endTime":2103.226,"body":"what do you do?"},{"startTime":2103.226,"endTime":2106.145,"body":"Oh, I would say you're with my husband."},{"startTime":2106.145,"endTime":2106.687,"body":"Garret."},{"startTime":2106.687,"endTime":2107.688,"body":"Get away from Daniel."},{"startTime":2107.688,"endTime":2111.15,"body":"Yeah, I pay attention to the movie"},{"startTime":2112.401,"endTime":2112.652,"body":"right."},{"startTime":2112.652,"endTime":2113.569,"body":"Under my nose."},{"startTime":2113.569,"endTime":2116.572,"body":"You jump right out of my nose."},{"startTime":2116.948,"endTime":2118.699,"body":"And I didn't see it. Now, I guess."},{"startTime":2118.699,"endTime":2120.827,"body":"You ever had anyone cheat on. Me?"},{"startTime":2120.827,"endTime":2122.578,"body":"No, not that I know of."},{"startTime":2122.578,"endTime":2125.706,"body":"Well, but the problem was, I was with"},{"startTime":2122.578,"endTime":2125.706,"body":"someone who already had a boyfriend."},{"startTime":2125.706,"endTime":2128.334,"body":"That has happened to me more than once."},{"startTime":2128.334,"endTime":2131.295,"body":"And one case it was like third date,"},{"startTime":2131.629,"endTime":2135.174,"body":"total romance or like the whole like the"},{"startTime":2131.629,"endTime":2135.174,"body":"the psychopathic version of"},{"startTime":2135.174,"endTime":2137.26,"body":"or what do you call"},{"startTime":2135.174,"endTime":2137.26,"body":"that sociopathic version of it?"},{"startTime":2137.26,"endTime":2140.179,"body":"Oh, were you just like total looking"},{"startTime":2137.26,"endTime":2140.179,"body":"you in the eye and making out"},{"startTime":2140.179,"endTime":2141.18,"body":"you're the most special thing?"},{"startTime":2141.18,"endTime":2142.849,"body":"And then he's had a boyfriend"},{"startTime":2141.18,"endTime":2142.849,"body":"for 20 years."},{"startTime":2142.849,"endTime":2144.559,"body":"Jeez. Crazy, right?"},{"startTime":2144.559,"endTime":2147.145,"body":"Which I'm like, creepy. Will do."},{"startTime":2147.145,"endTime":2149.021,"body":"So does that mean"},{"startTime":2147.145,"endTime":2149.021,"body":"we're going to fuck or not?"},{"startTime":2149.021,"endTime":2150.106,"body":"I don't know what that means."},{"startTime":2150.106,"endTime":2152.733,"body":"Yeah, but now I feel like I."},{"startTime":2152.733,"endTime":2155.027,"body":"I think I give off a vibe of chaos."},{"startTime":2155.027,"endTime":2155.695,"body":"Oh, really?"},{"startTime":2155.695,"endTime":2159.24,"body":"So I feel like people are either afraid"},{"startTime":2155.695,"endTime":2159.24,"body":"to cheat on me or afraid to tell me that."},{"startTime":2159.532,"endTime":2160.783,"body":"Oh, that's good. Okay."},{"startTime":2160.783,"endTime":2163.661,"body":"I think I really like coat"},{"startTime":2160.783,"endTime":2163.661,"body":"hanger on your car vibes."},{"startTime":2163.661,"endTime":2166.706,"body":"Oh, really? I don't."},{"startTime":2163.661,"endTime":2166.706,"body":"I see you. As a tender."},{"startTime":2166.831,"endTime":2169.876,"body":"I mean, even though I'm going to say"},{"startTime":2166.831,"endTime":2169.876,"body":"that you're built."},{"startTime":2170.251,"endTime":2173.254,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2170.251,"endTime":2173.254,"body":"As my mom would say, an amazing shape."},{"startTime":2173.296,"endTime":2176.299,"body":"Oh, I think like a"},{"startTime":2173.296,"endTime":2176.299,"body":"it's like a brick shit house."},{"startTime":2176.299,"endTime":2178.342,"body":"Is that what your mom was? Yeah, She was."},{"startTime":2179.76,"endTime":2180.803,"body":"A nice figure."},{"startTime":2180.803,"endTime":2181.637,"body":"I'll take it."},{"startTime":2181.637,"endTime":2185.808,"body":"But I still think, like, you have such,"},{"startTime":2181.637,"endTime":2185.808,"body":"like, pretty and sweet eyes."},{"startTime":2185.808,"endTime":2186.267,"body":"Now, you know,"},{"startTime":2186.267,"endTime":2189.437,"body":"I can say pretty, but, you know,"},{"startTime":2186.267,"endTime":2189.437,"body":"I don't see you as being, like, a psycho."},{"startTime":2189.437,"endTime":2190.396,"body":"But I."},{"startTime":2190.396,"endTime":2195.026,"body":"Here's what I did once I in about of I'm"},{"startTime":2190.396,"endTime":2195.026,"body":"going to say self-confidence."},{"startTime":2195.484,"endTime":2198.738,"body":"I was"},{"startTime":2195.484,"endTime":2198.738,"body":"I was with this guy who always hung around"},{"startTime":2198.738,"endTime":2201.741,"body":"this kind of mousy short gal"},{"startTime":2198.738,"endTime":2201.741,"body":"who was his good friend."},{"startTime":2201.908,"endTime":2203.326,"body":"And I thought, that's fine."},{"startTime":2203.326,"endTime":2205.703,"body":"I you know,"},{"startTime":2203.326,"endTime":2205.703,"body":"I have most of my friends are men."},{"startTime":2205.703,"endTime":2207.538,"body":"You know, a lot of my friends are"},{"startTime":2205.703,"endTime":2207.538,"body":"men are comics."},{"startTime":2207.538,"endTime":2208.831,"body":"You know,"},{"startTime":2207.538,"endTime":2208.831,"body":"I'm always hanging out with guys."},{"startTime":2208.831,"endTime":2209.498,"body":"Bunch of. Loads."},{"startTime":2209.498,"endTime":2212.21,"body":"And so I never thought anything of it."},{"startTime":2212.21,"endTime":2215.463,"body":"And then I found out"},{"startTime":2212.21,"endTime":2215.463,"body":"that they were fucking."},{"startTime":2215.463,"endTime":2216.631,"body":"The whole time."},{"startTime":2216.631,"endTime":2219.383,"body":"Well, I don't know if it was the whole"},{"startTime":2216.631,"endTime":2219.383,"body":"time, but."},{"startTime":2219.383,"endTime":2223.888,"body":"Well, the really crazy thing is"},{"startTime":2219.383,"endTime":2223.888,"body":"I had show my the minor accomplishments"},{"startTime":2223.888,"endTime":2228.017,"body":"of Jackie Woodman, and he was one of the"},{"startTime":2223.888,"endTime":2228.017,"body":"really funny actors in it."},{"startTime":2228.267,"endTime":2232.063,"body":"And I said, Well, have you know this guy"},{"startTime":2228.267,"endTime":2232.063,"body":"that he was always with?"},{"startTime":2232.063,"endTime":2235.233,"body":"She could be play your assistant. Oh."},{"startTime":2235.358,"endTime":2238.277,"body":"So at one point in the I have him"},{"startTime":2238.277,"endTime":2241.405,"body":"with his assistant kind of fooling around."},{"startTime":2241.405,"endTime":2244.075,"body":"And then his wife, the woman who plays"},{"startTime":2241.405,"endTime":2244.075,"body":"his wife, catches them."},{"startTime":2244.075,"endTime":2246.077,"body":"And it's all happening in like real life."},{"startTime":2246.077,"endTime":2247.453,"body":"And the. Show."},{"startTime":2247.453,"endTime":2249.664,"body":"And so and then so I'm directing them."},{"startTime":2249.664,"endTime":2252.208,"body":"I go, Well,"},{"startTime":2249.664,"endTime":2252.208,"body":"put your leg over him. So she knows."},{"startTime":2252.208,"endTime":2253.334,"body":"And so I was thinking,"},{"startTime":2253.334,"endTime":2256.254,"body":"then later, when I found out,"},{"startTime":2253.334,"endTime":2256.254,"body":"I was like, Oh, I wonder if they thought"},{"startTime":2256.254,"endTime":2259.507,"body":"that I was like this psycho saying,"},{"startTime":2256.254,"endTime":2259.507,"body":"I'm catching you cheating on me."},{"startTime":2260.424,"endTime":2261.342,"body":"But I had no idea."},{"startTime":2261.342,"endTime":2264.178,"body":"That's very like with that Amadeus."},{"startTime":2264.178,"endTime":2267.181,"body":"No, Titus Andronicus and me. Go ahead."},{"startTime":2267.223,"endTime":2268.099,"body":"I don't know what where."},{"startTime":2268.099,"endTime":2270.268,"body":"He feeds the children to the woman."},{"startTime":2270.268,"endTime":2273.938,"body":"Oh. Bakes her dead children into a pie"},{"startTime":2270.268,"endTime":2273.938,"body":"and makes her eat it, and then tells her"},{"startTime":2273.938,"endTime":2275.231,"body":"that her dead kids are in the pie."},{"startTime":2275.231,"endTime":2279.652,"body":"Anthony Hopkins As much as time is good"},{"startTime":2275.231,"endTime":2279.652,"body":"and I will Glenn Close like fucking"},{"startTime":2279.694,"endTime":2281.57,"body":"trying to sell her, like"},{"startTime":2281.57,"endTime":2284.031,"body":"really give the performance of a lifetime,"},{"startTime":2281.57,"endTime":2284.031,"body":"even though she's dressed"},{"startTime":2284.031,"endTime":2286.2,"body":"like a Disney villain."},{"startTime":2284.031,"endTime":2286.2,"body":"Anyway, go ahead. Fantastic."},{"startTime":2286.2,"endTime":2288.327,"body":"So when did you find out"},{"startTime":2286.2,"endTime":2288.327,"body":"how long after that?"},{"startTime":2288.327,"endTime":2290.371,"body":"Oh, well, a little bit after that."},{"startTime":2290.371,"endTime":2292.415,"body":"But it was so weird here, isn't it?"},{"startTime":2292.415,"endTime":2294.333,"body":"I like men. I know, but I like being."},{"startTime":2294.333,"endTime":2296.085,"body":"And so anyway, here's the thing."},{"startTime":2296.085,"endTime":2299.338,"body":"While this was going on before this,"},{"startTime":2296.085,"endTime":2299.338,"body":"he was even"},{"startTime":2299.338,"endTime":2302.216,"body":"cheating on me and her because."},{"startTime":2302.216,"endTime":2304.427,"body":"It was so. Fucking crazy. I went. Out."},{"startTime":2304.427,"endTime":2306.595,"body":"I don't have sympathy for her,"},{"startTime":2304.427,"endTime":2306.595,"body":"but that's funny."},{"startTime":2306.595,"endTime":2307.138,"body":"I know."},{"startTime":2307.138,"endTime":2311.309,"body":"But I went out to this lunch"},{"startTime":2307.138,"endTime":2311.309,"body":"with this friend of mine and these writers"},{"startTime":2311.309,"endTime":2312.893,"body":"who'd come in from New York."},{"startTime":2312.893,"endTime":2314.812,"body":"They were saying,"},{"startTime":2312.893,"endTime":2314.812,"body":"Oh, do I know anybody in the Groundlings?"},{"startTime":2314.812,"endTime":2315.521,"body":"And I said, No."},{"startTime":2315.521,"endTime":2315.896,"body":"And they said,"},{"startTime":2315.896,"endTime":2317.69,"body":"Oh, well,"},{"startTime":2315.896,"endTime":2317.69,"body":"this guy just was cheating on his"},{"startTime":2317.69,"endTime":2321.11,"body":"girlfriend and then was going out"},{"startTime":2317.69,"endTime":2321.11,"body":"with this, you know, another Gramling."},{"startTime":2321.277,"endTime":2323.988,"body":"And I said, Really? I think I know"},{"startTime":2321.277,"endTime":2323.988,"body":"all the Groundlings, Who was it?"},{"startTime":2323.988,"endTime":2325.489,"body":"And then he said, My."},{"startTime":2325.489,"endTime":2326.407,"body":"Name."},{"startTime":2326.407,"endTime":2330.119,"body":"Were and he said, this other gal"},{"startTime":2326.407,"endTime":2330.119,"body":"that he was cheating on when."},{"startTime":2330.286,"endTime":2331.996,"body":"Other. Than the other gal."},{"startTime":2331.996,"endTime":2333.831,"body":"So there's three of you so far. Yeah."},{"startTime":2333.831,"endTime":2339.086,"body":"And so then I'm don't know that his main"},{"startTime":2333.831,"endTime":2339.086,"body":"she was not, you know,"},{"startTime":2339.086,"endTime":2343.382,"body":"a friend of mine and it's not like"},{"startTime":2339.086,"endTime":2343.382,"body":"I had no idea about those two."},{"startTime":2343.382,"endTime":2346.552,"body":"So I said do you think that's true"},{"startTime":2343.382,"endTime":2346.552,"body":"about him cheating on me"},{"startTime":2346.552,"endTime":2349.805,"body":"with this gal"},{"startTime":2346.552,"endTime":2349.805,"body":"from this other gal from the Groundlings?"},{"startTime":2350.181,"endTime":2352.099,"body":"And she goes, I don't, I don't know."},{"startTime":2352.099,"endTime":2355.811,"body":"I So she was upset and, and later"},{"startTime":2352.099,"endTime":2355.811,"body":"I was like, Oh my."},{"startTime":2355.811,"endTime":2357.313,"body":"God, you all got played."},{"startTime":2357.313,"endTime":2360.316,"body":"This is honestly, this is very much"},{"startTime":2357.313,"endTime":2360.316,"body":"there is an episode of the Golden Girls"},{"startTime":2360.316,"endTime":2361.942,"body":"that deals with this precisely."},{"startTime":2361.942,"endTime":2364.195,"body":"Oh, really? Yeah. I promise. To that are."},{"startTime":2364.195,"endTime":2365.988,"body":"Three Cheers. It's all three."},{"startTime":2365.988,"endTime":2366.989,"body":"Everybody but Estelle."},{"startTime":2366.989,"endTime":2369.742,"body":"Oh, dammit. So what?"},{"startTime":2366.989,"endTime":2369.742,"body":"So some guy had an all going."},{"startTime":2369.742,"endTime":2372.953,"body":"Digital joint, a digital form"},{"startTime":2369.742,"endTime":2372.953,"body":"act hanging like put a dead body."},{"startTime":2372.953,"endTime":2376.207,"body":"But here's the thing"},{"startTime":2372.953,"endTime":2376.207,"body":"I like to leave a nasty message."},{"startTime":2376.207,"endTime":2379.21,"body":"If I can't confront AI first"},{"startTime":2376.207,"endTime":2379.21,"body":"to try to confront someone in public"},{"startTime":2379.335,"endTime":2382.338,"body":"and I couldn't get him,"},{"startTime":2379.335,"endTime":2382.338,"body":"I couldn't get on in person."},{"startTime":2382.463,"endTime":2384.799,"body":"So I leave a message"},{"startTime":2382.463,"endTime":2384.799,"body":"As soon as I find out,"},{"startTime":2384.799,"endTime":2387.968,"body":"the truth will set you free"},{"startTime":2384.799,"endTime":2387.968,"body":"and I'm throwing all of your shit out."},{"startTime":2387.968,"endTime":2390.137,"body":"Yeah, on the front steps."},{"startTime":2390.137,"endTime":2393.14,"body":"So if you want to get it or as a no,"},{"startTime":2390.137,"endTime":2393.14,"body":"I'm going to take all your shit"},{"startTime":2393.14,"endTime":2395.476,"body":"to the Salvation Army."},{"startTime":2393.14,"endTime":2395.476,"body":"You got 20 minutes to get it."},{"startTime":2395.476,"endTime":2398.062,"body":"And I'm like, shaking"},{"startTime":2395.476,"endTime":2398.062,"body":"and telling him this on the phone."},{"startTime":2398.062,"endTime":2398.312,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2398.312,"endTime":2401.399,"body":"And these two gowns that were"},{"startTime":2398.312,"endTime":2401.399,"body":"at this restaurant where I found out"},{"startTime":2402.024,"endTime":2405.111,"body":"that he was cheating on his two gals,"},{"startTime":2402.024,"endTime":2405.111,"body":"like it hurt me."},{"startTime":2405.111,"endTime":2406.487,"body":"And they go, Yeah, he goes."},{"startTime":2406.487,"endTime":2408.948,"body":"She goes, I'm going to come over"},{"startTime":2406.487,"endTime":2408.948,"body":"with my truck and help you get his shit."},{"startTime":2408.948,"endTime":2412.076,"body":"Baja, that's three women stand together."},{"startTime":2412.076,"endTime":2413.661,"body":"Men are the fucking worst."},{"startTime":2413.661,"endTime":2416.664,"body":"How long were you together"},{"startTime":2413.661,"endTime":2416.664,"body":"with that person? Hmm?"},{"startTime":2416.831,"endTime":2418.416,"body":"I'm going to say three. Four."},{"startTime":2418.416,"endTime":2419.583,"body":"You see that fucked up?"},{"startTime":2419.583,"endTime":2421.46,"body":"How long was he cheating on you"},{"startTime":2419.583,"endTime":2421.46,"body":"at that time?"},{"startTime":2421.46,"endTime":2424.171,"body":"Oh, maybe quite a bit. The whole time."},{"startTime":2421.46,"endTime":2424.171,"body":"That's insane."},{"startTime":2424.171,"endTime":2425.548,"body":"See, like, what's the whole point?"},{"startTime":2425.548,"endTime":2429.343,"body":"And then the other thing is, why not"},{"startTime":2425.548,"endTime":2429.343,"body":"coordinate and tell all the women involved"},{"startTime":2429.343,"endTime":2432.263,"body":"so you guys can always"},{"startTime":2429.343,"endTime":2432.263,"body":"get your schedules in line."},{"startTime":2432.263,"endTime":2432.555,"body":"Right?"},{"startTime":2432.555,"endTime":2435.349,"body":"Yeah, well, he's"},{"startTime":2432.555,"endTime":2435.349,"body":"still with one of his main cheat, but."},{"startTime":2435.349,"endTime":2435.599,"body":"What do you."},{"startTime":2435.599,"endTime":2439.311,"body":"So in that situation,"},{"startTime":2435.599,"endTime":2439.311,"body":"if you didn't kill his car"},{"startTime":2439.311,"endTime":2441.313,"body":"and you didn't get destructive"},{"startTime":2439.311,"endTime":2441.313,"body":"but you threw a shit up."},{"startTime":2441.313,"endTime":2443.524,"body":"Yeah, I did throw most of his shit out."},{"startTime":2443.524,"endTime":2444.358,"body":"Did you keep anything?"},{"startTime":2444.358,"endTime":2446.944,"body":"No, I think I threw his stuff."},{"startTime":2444.358,"endTime":2446.944,"body":"Wasn't that great?"},{"startTime":2446.944,"endTime":2450.197,"body":"I think I put in a garbage bag"},{"startTime":2446.944,"endTime":2450.197,"body":"and then picked it up."},{"startTime":2450.197,"endTime":2451.157,"body":"He's not that great."},{"startTime":2451.157,"endTime":2454.41,"body":"No, but that's kind of a good get"},{"startTime":2451.157,"endTime":2454.41,"body":"If you have, like, a window into that,"},{"startTime":2454.41,"endTime":2455.995,"body":"like, activity afterwards."},{"startTime":2455.995,"endTime":2457.913,"body":"That's good. That's good. Stalking. Yeah."},{"startTime":2463.002,"endTime":2463.419,"body":"Have you"},{"startTime":2463.419,"endTime":2466.881,"body":"ever gone home with someone"},{"startTime":2463.419,"endTime":2466.881,"body":"who's drunker than you?"},{"startTime":2467.006,"endTime":2470.384,"body":"Oh, sure, but. Yeah,"},{"startTime":2467.006,"endTime":2470.384,"body":"but I always hammered."},{"startTime":2470.426,"endTime":2474.221,"body":"Okay, well, there was this girl"},{"startTime":2470.426,"endTime":2474.221,"body":"who was talking as her truck"},{"startTime":2475.514,"endTime":2479.435,"body":"like she wanted to fuck in her truck,"},{"startTime":2475.514,"endTime":2479.435,"body":"which was named Betsy."},{"startTime":2480.186,"endTime":2483.189,"body":"So she'd be like,"},{"startTime":2480.186,"endTime":2483.189,"body":"Betsy wants you in the truck."},{"startTime":2483.23,"endTime":2486.442,"body":"Betsy wants you to fuck me like"},{"startTime":2483.23,"endTime":2486.442,"body":"she was telling me the things that Betsy"},{"startTime":2486.442,"endTime":2490.821,"body":"wanted me to do to her and that's"},{"startTime":2486.442,"endTime":2490.821,"body":"when I was like, This is a horrible idea."},{"startTime":2490.821,"endTime":2492.948,"body":"You're light years ahead of me."},{"startTime":2492.948,"endTime":2494.7,"body":"And this was in high school or."},{"startTime":2494.7,"endTime":2496.702,"body":"This was I was in my twenties."},{"startTime":2494.7,"endTime":2496.702,"body":"We were coworkers."},{"startTime":2496.702,"endTime":2499.246,"body":"It's like the one time I fucked someone,"},{"startTime":2496.702,"endTime":2499.246,"body":"I worked with."},{"startTime":2499.246,"endTime":2500.414,"body":"Oh, okay."},{"startTime":2500.414,"endTime":2502.791,"body":"I'm not proud of it. Okay, well,"},{"startTime":2500.414,"endTime":2502.791,"body":"you can't fuck."},{"startTime":2502.791,"endTime":2505.794,"body":"I don't like to fuck coworkers"},{"startTime":2502.791,"endTime":2505.794,"body":"because then it's like, I don't know."},{"startTime":2505.794,"endTime":2506.962,"body":"Then I have to start working nights."},{"startTime":2508.923,"endTime":2509.632,"body":"You have to."},{"startTime":2509.632,"endTime":2511.509,"body":"Avoid. I went out with this guy."},{"startTime":2511.509,"endTime":2512.885,"body":"He was Irish. He wasn't even Irish."},{"startTime":2512.885,"endTime":2517.014,"body":"He was just a scam artist"},{"startTime":2512.885,"endTime":2517.014,"body":"and pretending to be from Ireland."},{"startTime":2517.389,"endTime":2522.144,"body":"I met him in New York and anyway,"},{"startTime":2517.389,"endTime":2522.144,"body":"we were both pretty hammered one night,"},{"startTime":2522.144,"endTime":2528.025,"body":"but I didn't realize that he was like"},{"startTime":2522.144,"endTime":2528.025,"body":"a hardcore blackout drunk because."},{"startTime":2528.025,"endTime":2532.988,"body":"Okay, so we went to his"},{"startTime":2528.025,"endTime":2532.988,"body":"really crummy apartment, and then I went"},{"startTime":2533.489,"endTime":2537.743,"body":"to the bathroom and to, you know,"},{"startTime":2533.489,"endTime":2537.743,"body":"brush my teeth, freshen up where?"},{"startTime":2538.077,"endTime":2541.997,"body":"And then I came back into the room"},{"startTime":2538.077,"endTime":2541.997,"body":"and he didn't know."},{"startTime":2542.206,"endTime":2542.915,"body":"I was there."},{"startTime":2542.915,"endTime":2545.793,"body":"He didn't know I was okay."},{"startTime":2542.915,"endTime":2545.793,"body":"And he goes, Oh."},{"startTime":2545.793,"endTime":2546.71,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2546.71,"endTime":2547.795,"body":"So what?"},{"startTime":2547.795,"endTime":2550.464,"body":"And I was like, I came in with you."},{"startTime":2550.464,"endTime":2552.466,"body":"It was like the first time"},{"startTime":2550.464,"endTime":2552.466,"body":"we'd ever seen you."},{"startTime":2552.466,"endTime":2554.426,"body":"Oh, wow. Yeah."},{"startTime":2554.426,"endTime":2557.763,"body":"But I went out with him"},{"startTime":2554.426,"endTime":2557.763,"body":"and was crazy about him and,"},{"startTime":2557.93,"endTime":2559.223,"body":"you know, did this a few times."},{"startTime":2559.223,"endTime":2560.057,"body":"Forget all that stuff."},{"startTime":2560.057,"endTime":2564.895,"body":"Cameron, let's talk about when"},{"startTime":2560.057,"endTime":2564.895,"body":"in your life you decide"},{"startTime":2564.895,"endTime":2568.607,"body":"this sounds like maybe stuck up"},{"startTime":2564.895,"endTime":2568.607,"body":"or something, but when in life you decide"},{"startTime":2568.732,"endTime":2571.735,"body":"the person that you might be sleeping with"},{"startTime":2568.732,"endTime":2571.735,"body":"or where you say,"},{"startTime":2572.111,"endTime":2574.697,"body":"Oh, this person has no ambition, I guess."},{"startTime":2574.697,"endTime":2577.491,"body":"Oh, like for me, it was."},{"startTime":2577.491,"endTime":2580.703,"body":"Like, you're fucking someone like under"},{"startTime":2577.491,"endTime":2580.703,"body":"you is what you mean, Right?"},{"startTime":2580.703,"endTime":2581.829,"body":"Okay, here's what it is."},{"startTime":2581.829,"endTime":2584.748,"body":"Because I remember like, okay,"},{"startTime":2581.829,"endTime":2584.748,"body":"I was in my thirties. Yeah."},{"startTime":2584.748,"endTime":2589.67,"body":"I was doing stand up in New York"},{"startTime":2584.748,"endTime":2589.67,"body":"and I kept going out with these guys"},{"startTime":2589.67,"endTime":2593.34,"body":"that either"},{"startTime":2589.67,"endTime":2593.34,"body":"I met, you know, out at a bar or whatever."},{"startTime":2593.674,"endTime":2596.135,"body":"And yeah, people don't realize"},{"startTime":2593.674,"endTime":2596.135,"body":"you had to actually meet people"},{"startTime":2596.135,"endTime":2597.97,"body":"face to face for the first time."},{"startTime":2597.97,"endTime":2599.805,"body":"Yeah, Yeah,"},{"startTime":2597.97,"endTime":2599.805,"body":"that's right. That was. Terrifying."},{"startTime":2599.805,"endTime":2603.142,"body":"There was like a month"},{"startTime":2599.805,"endTime":2603.142,"body":"when every guy that I"},{"startTime":2603.142,"endTime":2606.228,"body":"if I went to their place,"},{"startTime":2603.142,"endTime":2606.228,"body":"their mattress was on the floor"},{"startTime":2607.563,"endTime":2610.733,"body":"and, and sometimes"},{"startTime":2607.563,"endTime":2610.733,"body":"there'd be a blanket over the door."},{"startTime":2610.733,"endTime":2613.986,"body":"And then I thought, you know,"},{"startTime":2610.733,"endTime":2613.986,"body":"I deserve a guy"},{"startTime":2613.986,"endTime":2616.989,"body":"who has an actual wooden door"},{"startTime":2613.986,"endTime":2616.989,"body":"in the doorway."},{"startTime":2617.031,"endTime":2619.825,"body":"Yeah. And a wooden door"},{"startTime":2617.031,"endTime":2619.825,"body":"or a wooden bed frame."},{"startTime":2619.825,"endTime":2620.492,"body":"Just some."},{"startTime":2620.492,"endTime":2623.245,"body":"Like we just need them to buy"},{"startTime":2620.492,"endTime":2623.245,"body":"for somewhere in the vicinity."},{"startTime":2623.245,"endTime":2624.496,"body":"Yeah. See, that's the thing."},{"startTime":2624.496,"endTime":2626.874,"body":"Because when there matters on the floor,"},{"startTime":2624.496,"endTime":2626.874,"body":"there's always two things"},{"startTime":2626.874,"endTime":2629.668,"body":"either by the bed,"},{"startTime":2626.874,"endTime":2629.668,"body":"a tambourine or an acoustic guitar."},{"startTime":2629.668,"endTime":2631.462,"body":"Oh, right."},{"startTime":2631.462,"endTime":2633.714,"body":"She's definitely a guitar."},{"startTime":2633.714,"endTime":2636.842,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2633.714,"endTime":2636.842,"body":"And that's if that's fatality, right?"},{"startTime":2636.842,"endTime":2639.887,"body":"That's like because you know that"},{"startTime":2636.842,"endTime":2639.887,"body":"at some point I pre during"},{"startTime":2639.887,"endTime":2642.89,"body":"or post lovemaking"},{"startTime":2639.887,"endTime":2642.89,"body":"he's got to pick up that guitar."},{"startTime":2643.057,"endTime":2645.684,"body":"No you have to sift through that shit."},{"startTime":2645.684,"endTime":2646.018,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":2646.018,"endTime":2646.435,"body":"That's worse"},{"startTime":2646.435,"endTime":2647.811,"body":"than having him like having a fucking guy"},{"startTime":2646.435,"endTime":2647.811,"body":"cause"},{"startTime":2647.811,"endTime":2649.146,"body":"he bought you dinner, having to listen"},{"startTime":2649.146,"endTime":2650.981,"body":"to a dude, play music for you"},{"startTime":2649.146,"endTime":2650.981,"body":"because you fucked them."},{"startTime":2650.981,"endTime":2652.232,"body":"Oh, no, that's."},{"startTime":2652.232,"endTime":2653.359,"body":"That's so awful."},{"startTime":2653.359,"endTime":2654.652,"body":"When I think of, like,"},{"startTime":2654.652,"endTime":2658.238,"body":"in an in your work days,"},{"startTime":2654.652,"endTime":2658.238,"body":"I sleep with someone for a ride home."},{"startTime":2658.614,"endTime":2661.283,"body":"I mean, as long as everyone"},{"startTime":2658.614,"endTime":2661.283,"body":"my do my part of town."},{"startTime":2661.283,"endTime":2662.117,"body":"Yeah, why not?"},{"startTime":2662.117,"endTime":2667.164,"body":"My I had a roommate I two roommates once"},{"startTime":2662.117,"endTime":2667.164,"body":"and he one of them had a cat"},{"startTime":2667.164,"endTime":2667.915,"body":"he just picked up."},{"startTime":2667.915,"endTime":2669.833,"body":"He brought a cat home one day"},{"startTime":2669.833,"endTime":2673.087,"body":"and had a litter box but"},{"startTime":2669.833,"endTime":2673.087,"body":"didn't ever really change it or whatever."},{"startTime":2673.087,"endTime":2674.797,"body":"Who gives a shit? It's in the room."},{"startTime":2674.797,"endTime":2676.34,"body":"Cat was cute, but I."},{"startTime":2676.34,"endTime":2678.258,"body":"You could hear everything in the house."},{"startTime":2678.258,"endTime":2679.885,"body":"You could hear everything"},{"startTime":2678.258,"endTime":2679.885,"body":"in everybody's room."},{"startTime":2679.885,"endTime":2681.261,"body":"So it was like a horrible situation."},{"startTime":2681.261,"endTime":2684.264,"body":"But I would just listen to Bjork loudly"},{"startTime":2681.261,"endTime":2684.264,"body":"anyway because he"},{"startTime":2684.682,"endTime":2687.851,"body":"he brought a girl home,"},{"startTime":2684.682,"endTime":2687.851,"body":"which was a miracle of all miracles."},{"startTime":2687.851,"endTime":2688.394,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":2688.394,"endTime":2691.438,"body":"And I could hear him like,"},{"startTime":2688.394,"endTime":2691.438,"body":"trying to romance her in the living room."},{"startTime":2691.647,"endTime":2694.775,"body":"So they went out back and drank and smoked"},{"startTime":2691.647,"endTime":2694.775,"body":"and and sure enough,"},{"startTime":2694.775,"endTime":2696.193,"body":"they were like moving into the bedroom."},{"startTime":2696.193,"endTime":2699.196,"body":"And as soon as she crossed in there,"},{"startTime":2696.193,"endTime":2699.196,"body":"first of all, matches on the floor,"},{"startTime":2699.363,"endTime":2702.741,"body":"of course, smashed up against the wall"},{"startTime":2699.363,"endTime":2702.741,"body":"right when the beds in the corner,"},{"startTime":2703.033,"endTime":2705.244,"body":"huge red flag. Yeah."},{"startTime":2705.244,"endTime":2707.246,"body":"There may as well be like"},{"startTime":2705.244,"endTime":2707.246,"body":"trash bags over the windows."},{"startTime":2708.288,"endTime":2708.706,"body":"I don't even know."},{"startTime":2708.706,"endTime":2709.039,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":2709.039,"endTime":2711.959,"body":"He later turned out to be a heroin addict,"},{"startTime":2709.039,"endTime":2711.959,"body":"so fuck this guy, which is fine."},{"startTime":2711.959,"endTime":2713.544,"body":"Get here in any way you can, But don't."},{"startTime":2713.544,"endTime":2716.296,"body":"Don't skip rent on your roommates"},{"startTime":2713.544,"endTime":2716.296,"body":"because of it. Anyway."},{"startTime":2716.296,"endTime":2718.215,"body":"The only person I'm concerned about"},{"startTime":2716.296,"endTime":2718.215,"body":"right now is the cat."},{"startTime":2718.215,"endTime":2719.925,"body":"He crossed over into the bedroom,"},{"startTime":2719.925,"endTime":2721.885,"body":"which I could hear everything,"},{"startTime":2719.925,"endTime":2721.885,"body":"and it went from hardcore."},{"startTime":2721.885,"endTime":2724.805,"body":"Making out to hurt is going No."},{"startTime":2724.805,"endTime":2727.141,"body":"And I heard"},{"startTime":2727.141,"endTime":2729.893,"body":"the front door slam"},{"startTime":2727.141,"endTime":2729.893,"body":"and then she was fucking gone"},{"startTime":2729.893,"endTime":2732.354,"body":"because there was like,"},{"startTime":2729.893,"endTime":2732.354,"body":"catch it up to their ears."},{"startTime":2732.354,"endTime":2734.398,"body":"Like,"},{"startTime":2732.354,"endTime":2734.398,"body":"you know what I mean? Like, he did not."},{"startTime":2734.398,"endTime":2737.359,"body":"It was just like, the most irresponsible"},{"startTime":2734.398,"endTime":2737.359,"body":"thing is like, what, you feeding that cat?"},{"startTime":2737.359,"endTime":2739.236,"body":"Like, kind of a thing?"},{"startTime":2739.236,"endTime":2740.738,"body":"But yeah, that poor girl,"},{"startTime":2739.236,"endTime":2740.738,"body":"it was the same thing."},{"startTime":2740.738,"endTime":2743.449,"body":"I was like, he. I'm surprised"},{"startTime":2740.738,"endTime":2743.449,"body":"he got a girl in the door."},{"startTime":2743.449,"endTime":2744.408,"body":"Mattress on the floor."},{"startTime":2744.408,"endTime":2746.618,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2744.408,"endTime":2746.618,"body":"Let alone, like it says, find one that."},{"startTime":2746.618,"endTime":2747.578,"body":"Acts like."},{"startTime":2747.578,"endTime":2749.747,"body":"Catch it to. That's not going to be."},{"startTime":2749.747,"endTime":2751.248,"body":"The next time he brought a girl home."},{"startTime":2751.248,"endTime":2755.461,"body":"He fucked her on the fold out"},{"startTime":2751.248,"endTime":2755.461,"body":"bed in the living room, which was mine."},{"startTime":2756.17,"endTime":2759.173,"body":"Oh, my God. I know. Well,"},{"startTime":2756.17,"endTime":2759.173,"body":"I didn't take it."},{"startTime":2759.173,"endTime":2760.299,"body":"That was the last day. It was mine."},{"startTime":2765.679,"endTime":2767.931,"body":"I went to hypnotherapist and I."},{"startTime":2767.931,"endTime":2770.058,"body":"And this was the. Did you. Go. Ahead?"},{"startTime":2770.058,"endTime":2775.022,"body":"That the people who can you really,"},{"startTime":2770.058,"endTime":2775.022,"body":"you know, go out fast are not that smart."},{"startTime":2775.606,"endTime":2777.983,"body":"Oh they said yeah."},{"startTime":2777.983,"endTime":2781.82,"body":"Like I mean I know notes on NPR"},{"startTime":2777.983,"endTime":2781.82,"body":"that was not like, you know like you're"},{"startTime":2781.862,"endTime":2785.157,"body":"what is that just sort of acceptable or."},{"startTime":2785.157,"endTime":2787.075,"body":"Yeah, or gullible,"},{"startTime":2787.075,"endTime":2788.994,"body":"smart. Naive, whatever."},{"startTime":2788.994,"endTime":2789.828,"body":"You're not the smartest. Yeah."},{"startTime":2789.828,"endTime":2790.996,"body":"The power of suggestion."},{"startTime":2790.996,"endTime":2793.123,"body":"Right? Yeah. You're like,"},{"startTime":2790.996,"endTime":2793.123,"body":"Oh, you're so Christian."},{"startTime":2793.123,"endTime":2796.877,"body":"Critical mass, critical minded,"},{"startTime":2793.123,"endTime":2796.877,"body":"so you don't go out easily."},{"startTime":2796.877,"endTime":2801.34,"body":"And so I was thinking about that"},{"startTime":2796.877,"endTime":2801.34,"body":"and I went out like before, said the."},{"startTime":2801.34,"endTime":2804.343,"body":"First time I was out."},{"startTime":2804.468,"endTime":2807.387,"body":"There, like my dumb ass."},{"startTime":2807.387,"endTime":2809.389,"body":"Guess she didn't even have to finish"},{"startTime":2807.387,"endTime":2809.389,"body":"counting, right?"},{"startTime":2809.389,"endTime":2810.39,"body":"It was fucking out."},{"startTime":2810.39,"endTime":2810.766,"body":"Do you?"},{"startTime":2810.766,"endTime":2812.643,"body":"There's video of Pat, I think."},{"startTime":2812.643,"endTime":2814.853,"body":"Collins you the hip hypnotist."},{"startTime":2812.643,"endTime":2814.853,"body":"I've got her."},{"startTime":2814.853,"endTime":2817.314,"body":"I she's in my documentary club."},{"startTime":2817.314,"endTime":2818.774,"body":"Yeah. About Randy Credico. Because."},{"startTime":2818.774,"endTime":2819.358,"body":"Are you serious?"},{"startTime":2819.358,"endTime":2821.944,"body":"Yeah, because when he grew up,"},{"startTime":2819.358,"endTime":2821.944,"body":"he grew up in the Catskills,"},{"startTime":2821.944,"endTime":2824.947,"body":"and his parents had a nightclub,"},{"startTime":2821.944,"endTime":2824.947,"body":"and she used to go."},{"startTime":2825.03,"endTime":2826.406,"body":"Of course, you know, What was that like?"},{"startTime":2826.406,"endTime":2828.408,"body":"The Whiskey belt. Borscht Belt?"},{"startTime":2828.408,"endTime":2828.951,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2828.951,"endTime":2831.829,"body":"And you're thinking of this word,"},{"startTime":2828.951,"endTime":2831.829,"body":"the Polish Borscht Belt?"},{"startTime":2831.829,"endTime":2832.162,"body":"Yeah,"},{"startTime":2833.413,"endTime":2833.872,"body":"Borscht Belt."},{"startTime":2833.872,"endTime":2834.289,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2834.289,"endTime":2838.168,"body":"So anyway, he said that he needed he's"},{"startTime":2834.289,"endTime":2838.168,"body":"a very funny comic,"},{"startTime":2838.502,"endTime":2841.839,"body":"and he said that he knew at like 11"},{"startTime":2838.502,"endTime":2841.839,"body":"he needed attention."},{"startTime":2841.964,"endTime":2847.803,"body":"So much because he faked being hypnotized"},{"startTime":2841.964,"endTime":2847.803,"body":"by Pat a hip hypnotist. Yes."},{"startTime":2847.886,"endTime":2851.014,"body":"So I was going to say, with your sessions,"},{"startTime":2847.886,"endTime":2851.014,"body":"with your hypnotherapist, not Pat."},{"startTime":2851.014,"endTime":2852.558,"body":"Did you ever try to, like, check them?"},{"startTime":2852.558,"endTime":2854.476,"body":"No, no, it was a woman. And."},{"startTime":2854.476,"endTime":2857.145,"body":"And she's now fucking misogynist to me."},{"startTime":2857.145,"endTime":2857.855,"body":"Sorry. No, no."},{"startTime":2857.855,"endTime":2860.816,"body":"This woman doctor is not quite."},{"startTime":2861.817,"endTime":2864.82,"body":"I hope she was dressed a proper."},{"startTime":2865.279,"endTime":2867.698,"body":"Floor length dress"},{"startTime":2865.279,"endTime":2867.698,"body":"and I hope she was married."},{"startTime":2867.698,"endTime":2870.158,"body":"And her husband had a real job. Exactly."},{"startTime":2870.158,"endTime":2872.035,"body":"Some fairy tale hypnotherapy."},{"startTime":2872.035,"endTime":2874.037,"body":"I mean, that's different from, like,"},{"startTime":2872.035,"endTime":2874.037,"body":"a hypnotist,"},{"startTime":2874.037,"endTime":2877.165,"body":"because it's like they're doing things"},{"startTime":2874.037,"endTime":2877.165,"body":"that are slightly different."},{"startTime":2877.165,"endTime":2877.791,"body":"Well, one of them."},{"startTime":2877.791,"endTime":2879.418,"body":"Yeah, like a slide."},{"startTime":2879.418,"endTime":2880.878,"body":"Their finger down the crack, and."},{"startTime":2880.878,"endTime":2883.297,"body":"You, I thought, what does this have to."},{"startTime":2883.297,"endTime":2884.423,"body":"Do with me going out?"},{"startTime":2885.632,"endTime":2888.635,"body":"I was already relaxed anyway."},{"startTime":2888.719,"endTime":2891.555,"body":"But they said, the weird thing is they're"},{"startTime":2888.719,"endTime":2891.555,"body":"still waving that clock in your face."},{"startTime":2891.555,"endTime":2893.015,"body":"How are your hands at my ass?"},{"startTime":2893.015,"endTime":2896.018,"body":"And the clock is being like,"},{"startTime":2893.015,"endTime":2896.018,"body":"that is magic."},{"startTime":2896.81,"endTime":2899.646,"body":"No, I love Pat Collins, the hypnotist,"},{"startTime":2899.646,"endTime":2901.189,"body":"but there's like a couple of things"},{"startTime":2901.189,"endTime":2903.775,"body":"there from the age she was from, like,"},{"startTime":2901.189,"endTime":2903.775,"body":"the sixties on. Like, Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":2903.775,"endTime":2904.735,"body":"Early in the game."},{"startTime":2904.735,"endTime":2905.402,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":2905.402,"endTime":2907.905,"body":"But I believe her sort of. I did too."},{"startTime":2905.402,"endTime":2907.905,"body":"She was on this."},{"startTime":2907.905,"endTime":2910.115,"body":"I remember like seeing on YouTube,"},{"startTime":2910.115,"endTime":2913.118,"body":"like the Steve Allen shows"},{"startTime":2910.115,"endTime":2913.118,"body":"she was on one of the Steve Allen shows."},{"startTime":2913.368,"endTime":2917.664,"body":"Her delivery so weird and flat,"},{"startTime":2913.368,"endTime":2917.664,"body":"but like, fun, like she's funny."},{"startTime":2917.664,"endTime":2920.083,"body":"Yeah, but like, confidence."},{"startTime":2917.664,"endTime":2920.083,"body":"I love the kind of."},{"startTime":2920.083,"endTime":2922.669,"body":"It kind of me. Okay, that's yeah,"},{"startTime":2920.083,"endTime":2922.669,"body":"you know."},{"startTime":2922.669,"endTime":2926.34,"body":"Yeah, you do get that Collins Because"},{"startTime":2922.669,"endTime":2926.34,"body":"she's very serious, but like, I don't."},{"startTime":2926.34,"endTime":2927.841,"body":"Know, I think that's I'm sorry."},{"startTime":2927.841,"endTime":2930.969,"body":"I think that's another secret"},{"startTime":2927.841,"endTime":2930.969,"body":"to good impression,"},{"startTime":2930.969,"endTime":2933.972,"body":"is somebody that's so obscure"},{"startTime":2930.969,"endTime":2933.972,"body":"from so long ago."},{"startTime":2933.972,"endTime":2935.807,"body":"You're not really sure if it's good."},{"startTime":2935.807,"endTime":2938.685,"body":"I know, but she I hope she holds it"},{"startTime":2935.807,"endTime":2938.685,"body":"because all through the decades,"},{"startTime":2938.685,"endTime":2942.356,"body":"because I've seen like because I believe"},{"startTime":2938.685,"endTime":2942.356,"body":"she was doing a filming, like, for a show."},{"startTime":2942.356,"endTime":2945.359,"body":"That's why the like"},{"startTime":2942.356,"endTime":2945.359,"body":"because she had a show on Sunset forever."},{"startTime":2945.359,"endTime":2946.485,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":2946.485,"endTime":2949.071,"body":"You're like a little glass of wine."},{"startTime":2946.485,"endTime":2949.071,"body":"Yeah. Really? Yeah."},{"startTime":2949.071,"endTime":2949.78,"body":"Did you go ever."},{"startTime":2949.78,"endTime":2952.532,"body":"Did you ever go to see? Oh, no, no,"},{"startTime":2949.78,"endTime":2952.532,"body":"I didn't know until much later."},{"startTime":2952.532,"endTime":2955.911,"body":"I'm sure there's a lot going on"},{"startTime":2952.532,"endTime":2955.911,"body":"in the production that I've seen of, like,"},{"startTime":2955.911,"endTime":2956.453,"body":"whatever it is."},{"startTime":2956.453,"endTime":2959.373,"body":"But all the people being hypnotized, it"},{"startTime":2956.453,"endTime":2959.373,"body":"looks like a fucking groundlings audition."},{"startTime":2959.373,"endTime":2961.833,"body":"It's like none of these people"},{"startTime":2959.373,"endTime":2961.833,"body":"are hypnotized. They're all."},{"startTime":2961.833,"endTime":2964.461,"body":"And it's not hers making them actors."},{"startTime":2964.461,"endTime":2966.38,"body":"It's like it's L.A. and it's fucking."},{"startTime":2966.38,"endTime":2970.592,"body":"They're all but on TV, we're members"},{"startTime":2966.38,"endTime":2970.592,"body":"saying, like things with her."},{"startTime":2970.926,"endTime":2974.137,"body":"I think one of the best late night hosts."},{"startTime":2974.888,"endTime":2975.806,"body":"And he was."},{"startTime":2975.806,"endTime":2980.185,"body":"He was just such a fucking great"},{"startTime":2975.806,"endTime":2980.185,"body":"interviewer and he became a director."},{"startTime":2980.185,"endTime":2981.895,"body":"Garret You know what I'm talking about."},{"startTime":2981.895,"endTime":2983.897,"body":"And it's such a he still around."},{"startTime":2983.897,"endTime":2987.401,"body":"He did such an amazing interview"},{"startTime":2983.897,"endTime":2987.401,"body":"with Janis Joplin."},{"startTime":2987.401,"endTime":2989.653,"body":"Dick Cavett Yes, I. Love Dick Cavett."},{"startTime":2989.653,"endTime":2991.238,"body":"Have we not talked about Dick Cavett?"},{"startTime":2989.653,"endTime":2991.238,"body":"I don't."},{"startTime":2991.238,"endTime":2991.989,"body":"I loved it."},{"startTime":2991.989,"endTime":2995.742,"body":"Carrie But he knew how to not make it"},{"startTime":2991.989,"endTime":2995.742,"body":"about himself."},{"startTime":2996.201,"endTime":2999.621,"body":"He was so comfortable"},{"startTime":2996.201,"endTime":2999.621,"body":"and just with everybody."},{"startTime":2999.621,"endTime":3003.25,"body":"He has a strange confidence, though,"},{"startTime":2999.621,"endTime":3003.25,"body":"because he'll kind of be like, cut."},{"startTime":3003.333,"endTime":3006.253,"body":"He'll cut up with like, people,"},{"startTime":3003.333,"endTime":3006.253,"body":"you know what I mean?"},{"startTime":3006.253,"endTime":3009.673,"body":"Like, he'll he's like,"},{"startTime":3006.253,"endTime":3009.673,"body":"I watched a Joan Rivers interview"},{"startTime":3009.673,"endTime":3011.591,"body":"with them where he's"},{"startTime":3009.673,"endTime":3011.591,"body":"kind of throwing it right back at her."},{"startTime":3011.591,"endTime":3012.718,"body":"I mean, she's a little different."},{"startTime":3012.718,"endTime":3015.804,"body":"But like, yeah, I don't know, the"},{"startTime":3012.718,"endTime":3015.804,"body":"the Katharine Hepburn interview."},{"startTime":3016.096,"endTime":3017.055,"body":"Where have you seen that?"},{"startTime":3017.055,"endTime":3020.017,"body":"No, she walks in for like,"},{"startTime":3017.055,"endTime":3020.017,"body":"the light testing."},{"startTime":3020.017,"endTime":3021.184,"body":"Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":3021.184,"endTime":3023.02,"body":"And she's all bossing around"},{"startTime":3021.184,"endTime":3023.02,"body":"and moving shit."},{"startTime":3023.02,"endTime":3023.353,"body":"I don't know."},{"startTime":3023.353,"endTime":3027.024,"body":"There's lots of, like, gravelly voice,"},{"startTime":3023.353,"endTime":3027.024,"body":"like seventies Lucy Funny about."},{"startTime":3027.524,"endTime":3028.567,"body":"Yeah, he's. Like."},{"startTime":3028.567,"endTime":3029.609,"body":"He's like a kid."},{"startTime":3029.609,"endTime":3032.738,"body":"It's like he because he, he he's into,"},{"startTime":3029.609,"endTime":3032.738,"body":"like, golden era shit."},{"startTime":3032.738,"endTime":3034.406,"body":"Yeah. The best is Mae West."},{"startTime":3034.406,"endTime":3036.825,"body":"He interviews"},{"startTime":3034.406,"endTime":3036.825,"body":"Mae West on, like, a weird soundstage."},{"startTime":3036.825,"endTime":3039.578,"body":"And the only footage I've seen is, like,"},{"startTime":3036.825,"endTime":3039.578,"body":"maybe 15 minutes."},{"startTime":3039.578,"endTime":3043.582,"body":"And Mae West has, like,"},{"startTime":3039.578,"endTime":3043.582,"body":"three different wigs stacked on her head."},{"startTime":3043.582,"endTime":3044.624,"body":"Right? And you can't really put them"},{"startTime":3044.624,"endTime":3046.835,"body":"all together,"},{"startTime":3044.624,"endTime":3046.835,"body":"but they're like, they're different."},{"startTime":3046.835,"endTime":3047.502,"body":"But they're all happening."},{"startTime":3047.502,"endTime":3052.299,"body":"And she's you can't tell if she's, like,"},{"startTime":3047.502,"endTime":3052.299,"body":"chewing on like a lozenge or her dentures."},{"startTime":3052.299,"endTime":3056.136,"body":"She's just roll and something retro,"},{"startTime":3052.299,"endTime":3056.136,"body":"but she's fucking on fire and she's like,"},{"startTime":3056.887,"endTime":3059.306,"body":"You know, he's like,"},{"startTime":3056.887,"endTime":3059.306,"body":"basically coming all over himself"},{"startTime":3059.306,"endTime":3061.058,"body":"because he's like interviewing Mae West."},{"startTime":3061.058,"endTime":3063.143,"body":"And she had the greatest"},{"startTime":3061.058,"endTime":3063.143,"body":"like she has so many."},{"startTime":3063.143,"endTime":3064.728,"body":"Really genius. Quick."},{"startTime":3064.728,"endTime":3067.314,"body":"I mean, just really great one liners,"},{"startTime":3064.728,"endTime":3067.314,"body":"really funny."},{"startTime":3067.314,"endTime":3068.315,"body":"I love Dick Cavett."},{"startTime":3068.315,"endTime":3073.445,"body":"Oh, I just watch Beetlejuice and I forgot"},{"startTime":3068.315,"endTime":3073.445,"body":"that he's fucking the Delia's art agent."},{"startTime":3073.695,"endTime":3076.782,"body":"He does this weird cameo"},{"startTime":3073.695,"endTime":3076.782,"body":"for like 10 seconds in Beetlejuice,"},{"startTime":3076.782,"endTime":3078.575,"body":"and he's hilarious, very mean."},{"startTime":3083.497,"endTime":3085.123,"body":"Thanks for being our friends."},{"startTime":3085.123,"endTime":3087.793,"body":"And I say thanks for being our friends."},{"startTime":3087.793,"endTime":3089.92,"body":"I learned a lot about you, actually."},{"startTime":3087.793,"endTime":3089.92,"body":"This time. I know."},{"startTime":3089.92,"endTime":3090.921,"body":"I learned quite a bit."},{"startTime":3090.921,"endTime":3095.008,"body":"And as under the influence there is, I"},{"startTime":3090.921,"endTime":3095.008,"body":"imagine we probably have a big following."},{"startTime":3095.175,"endTime":3095.634,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3095.634,"endTime":3096.218,"body":"Oh sure."},{"startTime":3096.218,"endTime":3099.221,"body":"There's lots of under the influencers"},{"startTime":3096.218,"endTime":3099.221,"body":"out there, right?"},{"startTime":3099.221,"endTime":3099.429,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3099.429,"endTime":3101.348,"body":"Because who isn't under"},{"startTime":3099.429,"endTime":3101.348,"body":"some sort of influence."},{"startTime":3101.348,"endTime":3103.809,"body":"Yeah, but"},{"startTime":3101.348,"endTime":3103.809,"body":"everyone should be under our influence."},{"startTime":3103.809,"endTime":3105.936,"body":"Yeah, right. Wait a second."},{"startTime":3105.936,"endTime":3107.687,"body":"Now I've got to do a Shelley Winters"},{"startTime":3105.936,"endTime":3107.687,"body":"impression."},{"startTime":3107.687,"endTime":3110.398,"body":"Yes, I knew I."},{"startTime":3110.398,"endTime":3113.318,"body":"If I waited long enough, I'd get it."},{"startTime":3113.318,"endTime":3113.86,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":3113.86,"endTime":3115.862,"body":"From Poseidon Adventure."},{"startTime":3115.862,"endTime":3117.614,"body":"You from Lolita? What?"},{"startTime":3117.614,"endTime":3118.99,"body":"What do you mean?"},{"startTime":3117.614,"endTime":3118.99,"body":"You're driving her there?"},{"startTime":3118.99,"endTime":3121.827,"body":"What do you. Mean, driving? Yeah,"},{"startTime":3118.99,"endTime":3121.827,"body":"but you got to sound like."},{"startTime":3121.827,"endTime":3123.37,"body":"You got to get your cheeks full."},{"startTime":3123.37,"endTime":3124.121,"body":"You know what I mean?"},{"startTime":3124.121,"endTime":3124.704,"body":"Yeah, you're right."},{"startTime":3124.704,"endTime":3125.58,"body":"Kids are Shelley Winters."},{"startTime":3125.58,"endTime":3128.416,"body":"She's Jimmy marshmallows. Yeah,"},{"startTime":3125.58,"endTime":3128.416,"body":"You know what I mean?"},{"startTime":3128.416,"endTime":3129.459,"body":"Hard. Angie? Yeah."},{"startTime":3129.459,"endTime":3131.044,"body":"You have to have something in your mouth"},{"startTime":3129.459,"endTime":3131.044,"body":"when you try it."},{"startTime":3131.044,"endTime":3132.42,"body":"Well, honey."},{"startTime":3132.42,"endTime":3133.13,"body":"Honey."},{"startTime":3133.13,"endTime":3135.09,"body":"Wait a second."},{"startTime":3133.13,"endTime":3135.09,"body":"Why are you. Going with her?"},{"startTime":3135.09,"endTime":3136.341,"body":"Oh, my God. That's it."},{"startTime":3136.341,"endTime":3138.218,"body":"Why are you going with her?"},{"startTime":3138.218,"endTime":3141.471,"body":"Do you suppose you were supposed to spend"},{"startTime":3138.218,"endTime":3141.471,"body":"the night with me?"},{"startTime":3141.471,"endTime":3141.805,"body":"That's"},{"startTime":3142.931,"endTime":3145.183,"body":"the problem, not with me."},{"startTime":3145.183,"endTime":3148.186,"body":"You were supposed to spend the night"},{"startTime":3145.183,"endTime":3148.186,"body":"with me."},{"startTime":3148.186,"endTime":3150.689,"body":"Well, he wouldn't do it. Okay, wait."},{"startTime":3150.689,"endTime":3151.857,"body":"I need to work here."},{"startTime":3151.857,"endTime":3152.691,"body":"So the trick to."},{"startTime":3152.691,"endTime":3155.694,"body":"Being Shelley Winters"},{"startTime":3152.691,"endTime":3155.694,"body":"is that you have to have, like,"},{"startTime":3155.819,"endTime":3158.488,"body":"three rolls of black"},{"startTime":3155.819,"endTime":3158.488,"body":"licorice up in your gums."},{"startTime":3158.488,"endTime":3160.198,"body":"Yeah. And then talk with the"},{"startTime":3160.198,"endTime":3162.701,"body":"Who is the guy she said"},{"startTime":3160.198,"endTime":3162.701,"body":"had the biggest dick in Hollywood?"},{"startTime":3162.701,"endTime":3166.121,"body":"Oh, Milton Berle. Well, he did."},{"startTime":3166.121,"endTime":3168.915,"body":"I mean, he bragged about it himself."},{"startTime":3166.121,"endTime":3168.915,"body":"Was there somebody else? Yeah."},{"startTime":3168.915,"endTime":3171.501,"body":"Some weird name or, like,"},{"startTime":3168.915,"endTime":3171.501,"body":"you know, an unspoken,"},{"startTime":3171.501,"endTime":3172.752,"body":"you know,"},{"startTime":3171.501,"endTime":3172.752,"body":"someone who wasn't, like, famous."},{"startTime":3172.752,"endTime":3177.132,"body":"Famous, but caught that It is a name"},{"startTime":3172.752,"endTime":3177.132,"body":"like that, though."},{"startTime":3178.049,"endTime":3181.303,"body":"If you want Uncle Milton to have"},{"startTime":3178.049,"endTime":3181.303,"body":"a big day, that's the grossest being,"},{"startTime":3181.511,"endTime":3182.971,"body":"you know, because he has big teeth."},{"startTime":3182.971,"endTime":3184.055,"body":"Big dick, big teeth. Well, you."},{"startTime":3184.055,"endTime":3187.1,"body":"Know, I also like when I think of like,"},{"startTime":3184.055,"endTime":3187.1,"body":"sometimes when"},{"startTime":3187.1,"endTime":3190.103,"body":"short guys, when you're like a shortish"},{"startTime":3187.1,"endTime":3190.103,"body":"guy is big dick."},{"startTime":3190.27,"endTime":3193.481,"body":"I feel like that's like"},{"startTime":3190.27,"endTime":3193.481,"body":"a mercedes in a carport."},{"startTime":3193.481,"endTime":3196.401,"body":"Like,"},{"startTime":3193.481,"endTime":3196.401,"body":"why is it there? It doesn't belong there."},{"startTime":3196.401,"endTime":3198.236,"body":"It's shocking something."},{"startTime":3198.236,"endTime":3199.613,"body":"It is shocking, right?"},{"startTime":3199.613,"endTime":3202.616,"body":"Yeah, It's something nice,"},{"startTime":3199.613,"endTime":3202.616,"body":"you know, with a little umbrella."},{"startTime":3202.741,"endTime":3203.992,"body":"Skinny cardboard over."},{"startTime":3203.992,"endTime":3206.369,"body":"It's like, why? Why somebody stole it."},{"startTime":3206.369,"endTime":3207.537,"body":"And I know as."},{"startTime":3207.537,"endTime":3210.707,"body":"Many times"},{"startTime":3207.537,"endTime":3210.707,"body":"every night as many dicks of I've seen"},{"startTime":3210.874,"endTime":3214.586,"body":"every time I see a huge dick on a short"},{"startTime":3210.874,"endTime":3214.586,"body":"guy, I'm a tall person So everybody sharp."},{"startTime":3214.586,"endTime":3218.173,"body":"But any time I see a huge egotism, I'm,"},{"startTime":3214.586,"endTime":3218.173,"body":"I believe in a God."},{"startTime":3218.173,"endTime":3220.508,"body":"I think universe can be."},{"startTime":3218.173,"endTime":3220.508,"body":"You know what I mean?"},{"startTime":3220.508,"endTime":3223.511,"body":"Because we're all either"},{"startTime":3220.508,"endTime":3223.511,"body":"trying to be influencers or being left"},{"startTime":3223.511,"endTime":3225.263,"body":"trying to get on a plane"},{"startTime":3223.511,"endTime":3225.263,"body":"to Bagram Airport."},{"startTime":3225.263,"endTime":3227.224,"body":"You know what I mean?"},{"startTime":3225.263,"endTime":3227.224,"body":"It's like, well, there's no in-between."},{"startTime":3227.224,"endTime":3230.143,"body":"So it's like when I see a short guy"},{"startTime":3227.224,"endTime":3230.143,"body":"with a huge fight, like a Coke can."},{"startTime":3230.143,"endTime":3232.687,"body":"Dick I'm like,"},{"startTime":3230.143,"endTime":3232.687,"body":"you know, God might be real."},{"startTime":3232.687,"endTime":3235.482,"body":"I don't want that huge dick,"},{"startTime":3232.687,"endTime":3235.482,"body":"but I'm just happy he has it."},{"startTime":3235.482,"endTime":3238.485,"body":"Yeah, I'm always,"},{"startTime":3235.482,"endTime":3238.485,"body":"I guess, like, horrified, like."},{"startTime":3238.485,"endTime":3241.905,"body":"Like you're expecting, like,"},{"startTime":3238.485,"endTime":3241.905,"body":"you know, a cute little hamster,"},{"startTime":3241.905,"endTime":3244.491,"body":"and then Godzilla comes out"},{"startTime":3241.905,"endTime":3244.491,"body":"and you're like, Oh, no. Oh, no."},{"startTime":3244.491,"endTime":3245.2,"body":"Precisely."},{"startTime":3245.2,"endTime":3246.534,"body":"It's like, you know, when someone invites"},{"startTime":3246.534,"endTime":3248.203,"body":"you over for dinner,"},{"startTime":3246.534,"endTime":3248.203,"body":"but you're not really that hungry."},{"startTime":3248.203,"endTime":3250.538,"body":"Yeah, but you have to eat anyway."},{"startTime":3250.538,"endTime":3251.706,"body":"Okay? You're."},{"startTime":3251.706,"endTime":3253.625,"body":"I think you're a lot more giving than me."},{"startTime":3253.625,"endTime":3255.752,"body":"I don't even go to that."},{"startTime":3253.625,"endTime":3255.752,"body":"I'm just a little hungrier. Than."},{"startTime":3257.587,"endTime":3258.755,"body":"I'm hungry all the time."},{"startTime":3258.755,"endTime":3260.048,"body":"We're still talking about Dick, right?"},{"startTime":3260.048,"endTime":3262.3,"body":"All right."},{"startTime":3262.3,"endTime":3263.635,"body":"So. Okay, okay."},{"startTime":3263.635,"endTime":3264.511,"body":"This is fun."},{"startTime":3264.511,"endTime":3266.346,"body":"Oh, this is a blast. Okay."},{"startTime":3266.346,"endTime":3268.098,"body":"See how nice. I'll get by."}]}