{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":0.0,"endTime":1.835,"body":"There's the continental breakfast"},{"startTime":0.0,"endTime":1.835,"body":"downstairs."},{"startTime":1.835,"endTime":2.168,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":2.168,"endTime":5.63,"body":"But they have a waffle iron there"},{"startTime":2.168,"endTime":5.63,"body":"that you're supposed to pour it into."},{"startTime":5.755,"endTime":6.464,"body":"Oh, shit."},{"startTime":6.464,"endTime":6.798,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":6.798,"endTime":10.51,"body":"And, you know, presumably clean up"},{"startTime":6.798,"endTime":10.51,"body":"after something nobody ever does is."},{"startTime":10.802,"endTime":13.722,"body":"It's like the men's room. But"},{"startTime":13.722,"endTime":15.14,"body":"I. It's over."},{"startTime":15.14,"endTime":18.143,"body":"And then they just have a pitcher of,"},{"startTime":15.14,"endTime":18.143,"body":"like, batter."},{"startTime":18.309,"endTime":19.686,"body":"Oof! Batter."},{"startTime":19.686,"endTime":24.274,"body":"It's such a bad idea in every way, because"},{"startTime":19.686,"endTime":24.274,"body":"it seems like somebody get burnt or."},{"startTime":24.691,"endTime":26.693,"body":"Anyway,"},{"startTime":24.691,"endTime":26.693,"body":"there's a literal, like, hot surface."},{"startTime":26.693,"endTime":27.444,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":27.444,"endTime":29.821,"body":"That's like the children are in line for."},{"startTime":29.821,"endTime":32.949,"body":"So by God,"},{"startTime":32.949,"endTime":35.952,"body":"welcome to what we thought would happen."},{"startTime":35.952,"endTime":37.787,"body":"I'm Mark Kightlinger."},{"startTime":37.787,"endTime":40.081,"body":"And we're here as a hot"},{"startTime":37.787,"endTime":40.081,"body":"summer day in Hollywood."},{"startTime":40.081,"endTime":42.876,"body":"Oh, yeah? How are you? Fantastic."},{"startTime":42.876,"endTime":45.879,"body":"I start off with a very boring"},{"startTime":42.876,"endTime":45.879,"body":"waffle conversation."},{"startTime":53.845,"endTime":57.682,"body":"I was reading this thing"},{"startTime":53.845,"endTime":57.682,"body":"in the Daniel Webb Press."},{"startTime":59.601,"endTime":60.351,"body":"You know,"},{"startTime":60.351,"endTime":63.354,"body":"all I do is read The New York"},{"startTime":60.351,"endTime":63.354,"body":"Times online."},{"startTime":63.396,"endTime":66.399,"body":"And I'm out of subtitles."},{"startTime":67.984,"endTime":68.818,"body":"Does everybody watch it?"},{"startTime":68.818,"endTime":70.32,"body":"Sometimes. Now it's like a thing."},{"startTime":70.32,"endTime":73.823,"body":"I like Italian horror films French."},{"startTime":74.074,"endTime":75.366,"body":"One word interesting. Stuff."},{"startTime":75.366,"endTime":78.328,"body":"Plain old English"},{"startTime":75.366,"endTime":78.328,"body":"speaking television with subtitles on."},{"startTime":78.369,"endTime":79.537,"body":"Oh, know. Yeah."},{"startTime":79.537,"endTime":80.872,"body":"It's like a. Thing. Hmm."},{"startTime":80.872,"endTime":82.791,"body":"Uh. I need subtitles and glasses."},{"startTime":82.791,"endTime":84.375,"body":"And glasses for the."},{"startTime":84.375,"endTime":86.795,"body":"about to go get you some glasses."},{"startTime":84.375,"endTime":86.795,"body":"That's it."},{"startTime":86.795,"endTime":89.13,"body":"I realized that on the plane because I."},{"startTime":89.13,"endTime":90.298,"body":"The person in front of me."},{"startTime":90.298,"endTime":92.217,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":90.298,"endTime":92.217,"body":"I always try to see what they're watching."},{"startTime":92.217,"endTime":92.634,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":92.634,"endTime":95.637,"body":"But I couldn't see. Uh."},{"startTime":96.221,"endTime":96.513,"body":"I was like."},{"startTime":96.513,"endTime":97.847,"body":"One of my favorite pastimes is to see"},{"startTime":97.847,"endTime":99.933,"body":"who in front of me is watching"},{"startTime":97.847,"endTime":99.933,"body":"Fox News in public."},{"startTime":99.933,"endTime":101.893,"body":"Oh, right. People do. That."},{"startTime":101.893,"endTime":105.73,"body":"I'm sure my mom should be an anchor on"},{"startTime":101.893,"endTime":105.73,"body":"that show."},{"startTime":105.772,"endTime":107.232,"body":"I would love to see the pilot report."},{"startTime":107.232,"endTime":110.693,"body":"Well,"},{"startTime":107.232,"endTime":110.693,"body":"but she watches 24 hour news channel now."},{"startTime":110.693,"endTime":114.489,"body":"So she's really good"},{"startTime":110.693,"endTime":114.489,"body":"at getting the bad news out to me."},{"startTime":114.489,"endTime":116.449,"body":"Fast. Yeah."},{"startTime":116.449,"endTime":119.828,"body":"But sometimes she mixes things up,"},{"startTime":116.449,"endTime":119.828,"body":"like I think with other things"},{"startTime":119.828,"endTime":124.29,"body":"she's watch like Did you see that thing"},{"startTime":119.828,"endTime":124.29,"body":"about the gang in Mexico"},{"startTime":124.582,"endTime":128.545,"body":"who killed seven tourists"},{"startTime":124.582,"endTime":128.545,"body":"and stuffed their bodies in seven trunks?"},{"startTime":129.003,"endTime":134.3,"body":"And it's like, no, but I've seen seven"},{"startTime":129.003,"endTime":134.3,"body":"Brides for seven Brothers."},{"startTime":136.678,"endTime":137.887,"body":"Of a drunk."},{"startTime":137.887,"endTime":140.14,"body":"Yeah. Good."},{"startTime":140.14,"endTime":141.558,"body":"In the adaptation."},{"startTime":141.558,"endTime":143.143,"body":"Well, the news I read today"},{"startTime":143.143,"endTime":146.896,"body":"is that Newt Gingrich came out"},{"startTime":143.143,"endTime":146.896,"body":"hard against drag queens. How?"},{"startTime":147.021,"endTime":149.149,"body":"Why are evil."},{"startTime":149.149,"endTime":151.442,"body":"Ads so ridiculous?"},{"startTime":151.442,"endTime":153.403,"body":"I know, but love that kind of discourse."},{"startTime":153.403,"endTime":155.989,"body":"Yeah, You look at it"},{"startTime":153.403,"endTime":155.989,"body":"like drag queens are the end of the world."},{"startTime":155.989,"endTime":157.448,"body":"And who cares about him?"},{"startTime":157.448,"endTime":160.076,"body":"Oh, people"},{"startTime":157.448,"endTime":160.076,"body":"do. That's the thing. He's in business."},{"startTime":160.076,"endTime":164.08,"body":"I seen Seven Brides for seven, brother."},{"startTime":164.33,"endTime":164.747,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":164.747,"endTime":166.124,"body":"And have a feeling"},{"startTime":166.124,"endTime":169.127,"body":"that some of those brothers didn't care"},{"startTime":166.124,"endTime":169.127,"body":"if they had brides or not."},{"startTime":170.044,"endTime":171.254,"body":"At least three of them."},{"startTime":171.254,"endTime":173.965,"body":"Are they locked away on a mountain"},{"startTime":171.254,"endTime":173.965,"body":"or something?"},{"startTime":173.965,"endTime":176.968,"body":"Yeah, pretty much."},{"startTime":177.177,"endTime":178.303,"body":"Well, they're on a mountain,"},{"startTime":178.303,"endTime":181.598,"body":"But Howard"},{"startTime":178.303,"endTime":181.598,"body":"Keel, who's an incredible singer."},{"startTime":181.598,"endTime":183.183,"body":"You know who he is, right?"},{"startTime":183.183,"endTime":185.435,"body":"Well, had"},{"startTime":183.183,"endTime":185.435,"body":"he has the same birthday as you, April 13."},{"startTime":185.435,"endTime":186.769,"body":"He does? Yes."},{"startTime":186.769,"endTime":187.228,"body":"How do you."},{"startTime":187.228,"endTime":190.231,"body":"Know? It's cause I look this stuff up."},{"startTime":190.356,"endTime":192.525,"body":"How do you know how it goes with you?"},{"startTime":190.356,"endTime":192.525,"body":"That's great."},{"startTime":192.525,"endTime":195.028,"body":"Yeah. Um, it's one of the gay brothers."},{"startTime":195.028,"endTime":198.281,"body":"Yeah, well, no, they're all straight, but,"},{"startTime":195.028,"endTime":198.281,"body":"you know, they're all probably."},{"startTime":198.781,"endTime":200.45,"body":"MGM is MGM."},{"startTime":200.45,"endTime":202.577,"body":"Yeah, I. Think. Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":202.577,"endTime":205.121,"body":"You watch a lot of old movies? I do."},{"startTime":205.121,"endTime":209.167,"body":"I watch a lot of old TV, which I feel like"},{"startTime":205.121,"endTime":209.167,"body":"old movies hold up better than old TV."},{"startTime":209.209,"endTime":210.418,"body":"Mhm. Well, probably. Yeah."},{"startTime":210.418,"endTime":212.962,"body":"Because it's not like a long series."},{"startTime":212.962,"endTime":215.965,"body":"I was watching Japanese"},{"startTime":212.962,"endTime":215.965,"body":"anime on the plane. Mhm."},{"startTime":215.965,"endTime":218.218,"body":"With subtitles. Wow."},{"startTime":218.218,"endTime":221.304,"body":"And I couldn't tell if it made me"},{"startTime":218.218,"endTime":221.304,"body":"look immature or cultured. Hmm."},{"startTime":221.471,"endTime":223.806,"body":"A cartoon or something."},{"startTime":221.471,"endTime":223.806,"body":"Because people look at you."},{"startTime":223.806,"endTime":226.434,"body":"Look at what you're watching on airplanes"},{"startTime":223.806,"endTime":226.434,"body":"like. Rome."},{"startTime":226.434,"endTime":229.437,"body":"I would think, you're just right"},{"startTime":226.434,"endTime":229.437,"body":"where you're supposed to be."},{"startTime":229.437,"endTime":232.273,"body":"Like you."},{"startTime":229.437,"endTime":232.273,"body":"Late thirties, forties, watching cartoons."},{"startTime":232.273,"endTime":234.234,"body":"Yeah. That's like eating a bowl of cereal."},{"startTime":232.273,"endTime":234.234,"body":"Hmm. Hmm."},{"startTime":234.234,"endTime":235.068,"body":"Hmm hmm. Hmm hmm."},{"startTime":236.861,"endTime":238.238,"body":"That's"},{"startTime":236.861,"endTime":238.238,"body":"the only thing that makes me feel like."},{"startTime":238.238,"endTime":243.159,"body":"a cis male is eating,"},{"startTime":238.238,"endTime":243.159,"body":"like, bowls of cereal for,"},{"startTime":243.409,"endTime":246.746,"body":"like, one of the primary meals"},{"startTime":243.409,"endTime":246.746,"body":"like Lucky Charms is so hot."},{"startTime":246.746,"endTime":248.998,"body":"In my house. Okay."},{"startTime":248.998,"endTime":249.499,"body":"Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":249.499,"endTime":253.294,"body":"I, I at least go through the motions"},{"startTime":249.499,"endTime":253.294,"body":"of eating something healthy"},{"startTime":253.294,"endTime":257.006,"body":"like I'll have granola in the,"},{"startTime":253.294,"endTime":257.006,"body":"sort of in the afternoon when I wake up"},{"startTime":257.257,"endTime":260.927,"body":"and then it's straight to Diet"},{"startTime":257.257,"endTime":260.927,"body":"Coke and chips right up for them."},{"startTime":261.135,"endTime":262.887,"body":"Of different hours than each other."},{"startTime":262.887,"endTime":265.139,"body":"I know. Such a night out."},{"startTime":265.139,"endTime":266.683,"body":"Were you ever a bartender?"},{"startTime":266.683,"endTime":268.559,"body":"No, but I probably could have been."},{"startTime":268.559,"endTime":270.979,"body":"I'm always up in the middle of the night."},{"startTime":270.979,"endTime":272.814,"body":"In the middle"},{"startTime":272.814,"endTime":273.481,"body":"emails from me."},{"startTime":273.481,"endTime":274.816,"body":"I love the hours that I get."},{"startTime":274.816,"endTime":277.902,"body":"Emails from midnight or 1 a.m.."},{"startTime":278.194,"endTime":278.945,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":278.945,"endTime":281.948,"body":"Oh, I'm just,"},{"startTime":278.945,"endTime":281.948,"body":"you know, looking up stuff online"},{"startTime":282.282,"endTime":285.91,"body":"or I find a news thing"},{"startTime":282.282,"endTime":285.91,"body":"and then go down a whole on that."},{"startTime":285.952,"endTime":287.161,"body":"Oh, How was your."},{"startTime":287.161,"endTime":288.037,"body":"Did you go down a word?"},{"startTime":288.037,"endTime":290.164,"body":"Well, I did,"},{"startTime":288.037,"endTime":290.164,"body":"and then I got pissed off about it."},{"startTime":290.164,"endTime":292.041,"body":"The fuckin submersible."},{"startTime":292.041,"endTime":293.751,"body":"Yeah. Yeah, I."},{"startTime":293.751,"endTime":295.503,"body":"Took that journal"},{"startTime":293.751,"endTime":295.503,"body":"I didn't, like, go on a ship,"},{"startTime":295.503,"endTime":298.256,"body":"but I was, like, in"},{"startTime":295.503,"endTime":298.256,"body":"for the drama of the story."},{"startTime":298.256,"endTime":300.717,"body":"Yeah. And then I was mad when it was over."},{"startTime":300.717,"endTime":301.134,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":301.134,"endTime":303.803,"body":"It was like a good TV show"},{"startTime":301.134,"endTime":303.803,"body":"that didn't have a second season."},{"startTime":303.803,"endTime":304.262,"body":"All right?"},{"startTime":304.262,"endTime":307.265,"body":"And then I got mad that they swept me"},{"startTime":304.262,"endTime":307.265,"body":"into the whole thing to begin with."},{"startTime":307.598,"endTime":311.227,"body":"on that very story,"},{"startTime":307.598,"endTime":311.227,"body":"I was thinking to myself, I'm so morbid"},{"startTime":311.227,"endTime":316.816,"body":"because when they said they found, pieces"},{"startTime":311.227,"endTime":316.816,"body":"of what had imploded, I wanted to see."},{"startTime":316.816,"endTime":318.318,"body":"Oh, yeah, I'm a ghoul."},{"startTime":321.237,"endTime":323.489,"body":"Yeah, Because did you see the headline?"},{"startTime":323.489,"endTime":325.366,"body":"It was like they found like, roommate."},{"startTime":325.366,"endTime":326.2,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":326.2,"endTime":327.118,"body":"That was my first thing."},{"startTime":327.118,"endTime":329.412,"body":"I was like,"},{"startTime":327.118,"endTime":329.412,"body":"well which are whose are. Yeah."},{"startTime":329.412,"endTime":330.58,"body":"You know, or who put it."},{"startTime":330.58,"endTime":333.833,"body":"when we see remains, kind of,"},{"startTime":330.58,"endTime":333.833,"body":"you know, are looking our chops."},{"startTime":334.083,"endTime":337.545,"body":"But then I think of, you know,"},{"startTime":334.083,"endTime":337.545,"body":"like I guess a classic movie,"},{"startTime":337.545,"endTime":341.049,"body":"although was 1990 was Remains of the Day"},{"startTime":337.545,"endTime":341.049,"body":"and how romantic."},{"startTime":341.049,"endTime":342.467,"body":"it's a morbid curiosity."},{"startTime":342.467,"endTime":345.011,"body":"I'm fucking more"},{"startTime":342.467,"endTime":345.011,"body":"but I just want to know. Mhm."},{"startTime":345.011,"endTime":347.18,"body":"Curiosity. I'm like well into it."},{"startTime":347.18,"endTime":350.183,"body":"you know, the,"},{"startTime":347.18,"endTime":350.183,"body":"the James Cameron quote like, you know."},{"startTime":350.683,"endTime":352.894,"body":"His whole,"},{"startTime":350.683,"endTime":352.894,"body":"all his interviews were so good."},{"startTime":352.894,"endTime":354.52,"body":"I know, but what a jackass."},{"startTime":354.52,"endTime":356.939,"body":"Because it's like,"},{"startTime":354.52,"endTime":356.939,"body":"how does that help anyone?"},{"startTime":356.939,"endTime":358.858,"body":"Well, this could have been avoided."},{"startTime":358.858,"endTime":360.651,"body":"Yeah. Thanks. Right."},{"startTime":360.651,"endTime":362.945,"body":"Especially because he's loaded. Yeah."},{"startTime":362.945,"endTime":364.155,"body":"It's like, good Me like."},{"startTime":364.155,"endTime":366.699,"body":"Well, everybody on that was loaded."},{"startTime":366.699,"endTime":368.201,"body":"Right, Right. Nobody cares about"},{"startTime":371.079,"endTime":371.829,"body":"them."},{"startTime":371.829,"endTime":373.373,"body":"You're"},{"startTime":371.829,"endTime":373.373,"body":"right. I mean, you're kind of right."},{"startTime":373.373,"endTime":377.043,"body":"Person to elicit sympathy"},{"startTime":373.373,"endTime":377.043,"body":"from poor people."},{"startTime":377.126,"endTime":377.835,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":377.835,"endTime":381.964,"body":"The poorest person on there was a teenager"},{"startTime":377.835,"endTime":381.964,"body":"who was probably too thin."},{"startTime":382.632,"endTime":384.967,"body":"Oh, sure. Yeah. Is So that's a sad story."},{"startTime":384.967,"endTime":385.718,"body":"Did you hear?"},{"startTime":385.718,"endTime":388.513,"body":"Well, his mom switched seats with."},{"startTime":388.513,"endTime":391.516,"body":"Then she was supposed to be on the thing."},{"startTime":391.516,"endTime":392.183,"body":"Uh huh."},{"startTime":392.183,"endTime":394.435,"body":"My son was so excited"},{"startTime":392.183,"endTime":394.435,"body":"that I let him have it."},{"startTime":394.435,"endTime":396.979,"body":"Like, um."},{"startTime":394.435,"endTime":396.979,"body":"So I think she has the criminal motive."},{"startTime":396.979,"endTime":400.233,"body":"Oh, inheriting all that money. And I get."},{"startTime":400.358,"endTime":402.652,"body":"I want to share with the kid."},{"startTime":402.652,"endTime":404.987,"body":"I guess the aunt said that he did. The."},{"startTime":404.987,"endTime":406.322,"body":"The didn't want to go."},{"startTime":406.322,"endTime":408.741,"body":"The young kid didn't want to go. His son."},{"startTime":406.322,"endTime":408.741,"body":"I mean, didn't wanna go."},{"startTime":408.741,"endTime":411.035,"body":"That's toxic masculinity."},{"startTime":411.035,"endTime":413.996,"body":"Yeah. Whoa."},{"startTime":413.996,"endTime":414.914,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":414.914,"endTime":416.249,"body":"Impress your dad."},{"startTime":416.249,"endTime":419.001,"body":"But also,"},{"startTime":416.249,"endTime":419.001,"body":"everybody's rich and such a straight guy."},{"startTime":419.001,"endTime":420.795,"body":"Like we can do it. Mm hmm."},{"startTime":420.795,"endTime":423.798,"body":"And then now they're, like, obliterated,"},{"startTime":423.923,"endTime":426.801,"body":"obsessed with, like,"},{"startTime":423.923,"endTime":426.801,"body":"what physically happened."},{"startTime":426.801,"endTime":429.053,"body":"fact that it was an implosion."},{"startTime":429.053,"endTime":430.263,"body":"An implosion?"},{"startTime":430.263,"endTime":431.055,"body":"That's enough for me."},{"startTime":431.055,"endTime":433.933,"body":"I was pretty happy, but I'm not happy."},{"startTime":431.055,"endTime":433.933,"body":"But you know what I mean."},{"startTime":433.933,"endTime":435.059,"body":"I feel satisfied with that."},{"startTime":435.059,"endTime":435.852,"body":"I like to tell"},{"startTime":435.852,"endTime":440.606,"body":"I like to remind people that the"},{"startTime":435.852,"endTime":440.606,"body":"Challenger incident was not an explosion."},{"startTime":440.773,"endTime":441.315,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":441.315,"endTime":442.9,"body":"Of vaporization."},{"startTime":442.9,"endTime":444.902,"body":"Ooh. Mm hmm. Wow."},{"startTime":444.902,"endTime":447.447,"body":"You see the like,"},{"startTime":444.902,"endTime":447.447,"body":"it looks like fire and stuff."},{"startTime":447.447,"endTime":447.947,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":447.947,"endTime":451.033,"body":"Just like the chemical reaction,"},{"startTime":447.947,"endTime":451.033,"body":"like the color and the, uh."},{"startTime":451.325,"endTime":454.162,"body":"But it's a vapor is what you see."},{"startTime":451.325,"endTime":454.162,"body":"Not like."},{"startTime":454.162,"endTime":455.204,"body":"Oh, that's incredible."},{"startTime":455.204,"endTime":456.247,"body":"I didn't know that."},{"startTime":456.247,"endTime":458.332,"body":"So they vaporized."},{"startTime":458.332,"endTime":461.169,"body":"Wow. Slammed into the Atlantic is"},{"startTime":458.332,"endTime":461.169,"body":"what happened."},{"startTime":461.169,"endTime":461.586,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":461.586,"endTime":465.506,"body":"there's no serenity in the final moments"},{"startTime":461.586,"endTime":465.506,"body":"when you're in front of an accident"},{"startTime":465.506,"endTime":467.133,"body":"where the exact same thing happens."},{"startTime":467.133,"endTime":467.633,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":467.633,"endTime":470.428,"body":"We should have known better,"},{"startTime":467.633,"endTime":470.428,"body":"or you're out of right there."},{"startTime":470.428,"endTime":471.345,"body":"Yeah, right."},{"startTime":471.345,"endTime":474.348,"body":"Oh, of doing the exact same. Thing, Right."},{"startTime":474.39,"endTime":475.641,"body":"James Cameron's an asshole anyway."},{"startTime":481.105,"endTime":481.647,"body":"You know,"},{"startTime":481.647,"endTime":485.526,"body":"schadenfreude is the German word for,"},{"startTime":481.647,"endTime":485.526,"body":"you know, what it is, right?"},{"startTime":485.568,"endTime":489.071,"body":"It's it for delighting in other people's"},{"startTime":485.568,"endTime":489.071,"body":"misery."},{"startTime":489.071,"endTime":489.614,"body":"Right?"},{"startTime":489.614,"endTime":494.41,"body":"And then there's a new social scientist"},{"startTime":489.614,"endTime":494.41,"body":"word called Freudian Freud,"},{"startTime":494.494,"endTime":497.497,"body":"which means to try and be happy"},{"startTime":494.494,"endTime":497.497,"body":"for other people."},{"startTime":497.538,"endTime":499.29,"body":"Right. To actually find."},{"startTime":499.29,"endTime":502.335,"body":"The. Area for it's Freudian."},{"startTime":502.335,"endTime":504.587,"body":"Freud. Okay, explain the concept."},{"startTime":504.587,"endTime":505.004,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":505.004,"endTime":508.633,"body":"To take delight in another person's"},{"startTime":505.004,"endTime":508.633,"body":"good fortune."},{"startTime":509.258,"endTime":511.761,"body":"You know, like where your friends are,"},{"startTime":509.258,"endTime":511.761,"body":"be happy."},{"startTime":511.761,"endTime":512.512,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":512.512,"endTime":516.015,"body":"And so, anyway,"},{"startTime":512.512,"endTime":516.015,"body":"I have invented a new word called"},{"startTime":516.098,"endTime":519.143,"body":"false on Friday, which means being false."},{"startTime":519.143,"endTime":520.603,"body":"Happy for someone else."},{"startTime":520.603,"endTime":521.854,"body":"Like faking your happiness"},{"startTime":521.854,"endTime":525.066,"body":"for when someone does a really good job"},{"startTime":521.854,"endTime":525.066,"body":"or makes a lot of money."},{"startTime":525.066,"endTime":527.944,"body":"I think that's half"},{"startTime":525.066,"endTime":527.944,"body":"of being in this business."},{"startTime":527.944,"endTime":529.946,"body":"Yeah. Your new."},{"startTime":529.946,"endTime":532.031,"body":"washed on Friday and Friday."},{"startTime":532.031,"endTime":532.782,"body":"Are you German?"},{"startTime":532.782,"endTime":534.408,"body":"I'm half. What's the other half?"},{"startTime":534.408,"endTime":536.035,"body":"My mother. Uh,"},{"startTime":538.788,"endTime":540.79,"body":"she's sort of the same thing."},{"startTime":540.79,"endTime":542.083,"body":"My dead father."},{"startTime":542.083,"endTime":545.086,"body":"No, he was. He was a Lithuanian Jew."},{"startTime":545.461,"endTime":546.921,"body":"Kightlinger is my mom's last name."},{"startTime":546.921,"endTime":547.755,"body":"Gotcha. Yeah."},{"startTime":547.755,"endTime":550.216,"body":"So, anyway, Faust and Freud."},{"startTime":547.755,"endTime":550.216,"body":"Are you there?"},{"startTime":550.216,"endTime":552.593,"body":"Oh, give me an example."},{"startTime":550.216,"endTime":552.593,"body":"Have you committed for."},{"startTime":552.593,"endTime":553.344,"body":"Of course."},{"startTime":553.344,"endTime":553.803,"body":"Thank you."},{"startTime":553.803,"endTime":556.556,"body":"Well, not this week,"},{"startTime":553.803,"endTime":556.556,"body":"but I was standing around,"},{"startTime":556.556,"endTime":558.891,"body":"you know, when I was working on the show"},{"startTime":556.556,"endTime":558.891,"body":"a while ago,"},{"startTime":558.891,"endTime":562.52,"body":"and there was one of these producers"},{"startTime":558.891,"endTime":562.52,"body":"who directed and produced everything, and"},{"startTime":562.895,"endTime":566.649,"body":"and he was saying his son"},{"startTime":562.895,"endTime":566.649,"body":"just finished, grad school,"},{"startTime":566.649,"endTime":570.111,"body":"and now he's directing a pilot"},{"startTime":566.649,"endTime":570.111,"body":"for like succession two."},{"startTime":570.111,"endTime":574.156,"body":"And I said, Oh, that's ironic,"},{"startTime":570.111,"endTime":574.156,"body":"but I bet you must be so proud."},{"startTime":574.156,"endTime":575.032,"body":"Second generation."},{"startTime":575.032,"endTime":577.994,"body":"That's great. That's so great."},{"startTime":577.994,"endTime":579.87,"body":"You know, that's my my fault."},{"startTime":579.87,"endTime":582.039,"body":"I'm so happy for it. That's great."},{"startTime":582.039,"endTime":584.667,"body":"But I don't sound quite that phony."},{"startTime":584.667,"endTime":585.876,"body":"Well, no, I was gonna say,"},{"startTime":584.667,"endTime":585.876,"body":"do you feel like"},{"startTime":585.876,"endTime":589.13,"body":"you can translate the bullshit"},{"startTime":585.876,"endTime":589.13,"body":"in front of that successfully?"},{"startTime":589.13,"endTime":590.256,"body":"Because I don't think I'm."},{"startTime":590.256,"endTime":591.674,"body":"You can read me when I'm lying."},{"startTime":591.674,"endTime":595.136,"body":"Yeah, I think people know they're not"},{"startTime":591.674,"endTime":595.136,"body":"being authentic when I'm congratulating."},{"startTime":595.177,"endTime":598.848,"body":"I can if I could do the, Faustian Freud,"},{"startTime":595.177,"endTime":598.848,"body":"if it's fast."},{"startTime":599.015,"endTime":601.35,"body":"Oh, congratulations."},{"startTime":599.015,"endTime":601.35,"body":"I got to go get a coffee."},{"startTime":602.852,"endTime":603.728,"body":"Does that come from"},{"startTime":603.728,"endTime":606.731,"body":"The feeling like you need to commit"},{"startTime":603.728,"endTime":606.731,"body":"false ten fraud?"},{"startTime":606.856,"endTime":610.067,"body":"Just being fake happy for someone"},{"startTime":606.856,"endTime":610.067,"body":"because you're with other people"},{"startTime":610.067,"endTime":613.529,"body":"standing around"},{"startTime":610.067,"endTime":613.529,"body":"what's the real feeling you have?"},{"startTime":613.738,"endTime":616.824,"body":"I would imagine it's, jealousy. Anger?"},{"startTime":616.866,"endTime":619.243,"body":"Yeah, You could be fake"},{"startTime":616.866,"endTime":619.243,"body":"happy for them, just for the hell of it."},{"startTime":619.243,"endTime":620.119,"body":"But really."},{"startTime":620.119,"endTime":623.664,"body":"I guess"},{"startTime":620.119,"endTime":623.664,"body":"any time it looks like someone got a job"},{"startTime":623.873,"endTime":626.709,"body":"that might lead to them"},{"startTime":623.873,"endTime":626.709,"body":"never having to work again."},{"startTime":626.709,"endTime":627.293,"body":"Mhm. Right."},{"startTime":627.293,"endTime":627.627,"body":"Like it's"},{"startTime":627.627,"endTime":631.672,"body":"such a good job, such a good paying job"},{"startTime":627.627,"endTime":631.672,"body":"that they could like, retire on their uh."},{"startTime":631.881,"endTime":634.592,"body":"And I've really low stakes"},{"startTime":631.881,"endTime":634.592,"body":"for what retirement looks like."},{"startTime":634.592,"endTime":636.427,"body":"That makes me angry."},{"startTime":636.427,"endTime":639.263,"body":"Oh, I'm actually like, Well, good for you."},{"startTime":639.263,"endTime":642.266,"body":"Uh, after work again. But right."},{"startTime":642.266,"endTime":644.477,"body":"When I commit, first and foremost,"},{"startTime":642.266,"endTime":644.477,"body":"the first."},{"startTime":644.477,"endTime":645.978,"body":"False, it's like false."},{"startTime":647.063,"endTime":648.314,"body":"Like the word false."},{"startTime":648.314,"endTime":650.107,"body":"False. And then I'm saying false."},{"startTime":650.107,"endTime":652.109,"body":"forged in Freud, Faust and Freud."},{"startTime":652.109,"endTime":655.071,"body":"Boston. Freud. A fortune."},{"startTime":655.071,"endTime":656.822,"body":"Were you having this conversation"},{"startTime":655.071,"endTime":656.822,"body":"with this person?"},{"startTime":656.822,"endTime":659.241,"body":"You're like, I need a word"},{"startTime":656.822,"endTime":659.241,"body":"for the way I feel right now."},{"startTime":659.241,"endTime":661.827,"body":"No, I was just thinking, like, how,"},{"startTime":659.241,"endTime":661.827,"body":"you know,"},{"startTime":661.827,"endTime":664.83,"body":"there are a couple of other people"},{"startTime":661.827,"endTime":664.83,"body":"standing around, just thinking,"},{"startTime":664.914,"endTime":666.248,"body":"that's so great that he was able"},{"startTime":666.248,"endTime":670.044,"body":"to get a directing job because you've done"},{"startTime":666.248,"endTime":670.044,"body":"you know, it's"},{"startTime":670.127,"endTime":673.714,"body":"I think it might be name recognition"},{"startTime":670.127,"endTime":673.714,"body":"and not that he is so good in it."},{"startTime":674.256,"endTime":675.675,"body":"I was just in a room."},{"startTime":675.675,"endTime":678.844,"body":"I was in a green room with two people"},{"startTime":675.675,"endTime":678.844,"body":"who are more successful than me,"},{"startTime":678.844,"endTime":682.807,"body":"but they're not like mega movie stars yet,"},{"startTime":678.844,"endTime":682.807,"body":"but they're doing very well."},{"startTime":683.057,"endTime":686.06,"body":"But they did one of those"},{"startTime":683.057,"endTime":686.06,"body":"like it's a small room,"},{"startTime":686.435,"endTime":688.938,"body":"but they still do one of those things"},{"startTime":686.435,"endTime":688.938,"body":"with the angle, their bodies."},{"startTime":688.938,"endTime":690.606,"body":"So like, you're not in the."},{"startTime":690.606,"endTime":692.566,"body":"Earth. Station in a small room."},{"startTime":692.566,"endTime":694.443,"body":"Uh huh. Very small room."},{"startTime":694.443,"endTime":697.988,"body":"And then the two of them had a kind of a"},{"startTime":694.443,"endTime":697.988,"body":"normal back and forth about how, you know,"},{"startTime":697.988,"endTime":699.323,"body":"what are you working on?"},{"startTime":699.323,"endTime":700.282,"body":"But then they were both talking about"},{"startTime":700.282,"endTime":702.535,"body":"how hard standup is now"},{"startTime":700.282,"endTime":702.535,"body":"because everybody's crazy."},{"startTime":702.535,"endTime":703.703,"body":"Uh huh, you're not."},{"startTime":703.703,"endTime":706.997,"body":"But they're like, so lucky"},{"startTime":703.703,"endTime":706.997,"body":"that they don't have to do it anymore."},{"startTime":706.997,"endTime":709.834,"body":"Yeah, but it's just so nice"},{"startTime":706.997,"endTime":709.834,"body":"they don't have to do something."},{"startTime":709.834,"endTime":711.794,"body":"Oh, great. Hello?"},{"startTime":711.794,"endTime":713.254,"body":"The only other person in the room"},{"startTime":713.254,"endTime":717.133,"body":"is the one who, at this show,"},{"startTime":713.254,"endTime":717.133,"body":"begging and clawing to get 7 minutes. I."},{"startTime":718.092,"endTime":718.968,"body":"So that was one of the things."},{"startTime":718.968,"endTime":721.22,"body":"Or what's the reverse of like,"},{"startTime":718.968,"endTime":721.22,"body":"I don't want to be happy for you"},{"startTime":721.22,"endTime":723.639,"body":"guys, and I want to isolate myself"},{"startTime":721.22,"endTime":723.639,"body":"in the conversation."},{"startTime":723.639,"endTime":726.684,"body":"I just thought, well,"},{"startTime":723.639,"endTime":726.684,"body":"if they're going to make up being happy"},{"startTime":726.684,"endTime":729.52,"body":"for someone like that,"},{"startTime":726.684,"endTime":729.52,"body":"that's good for your own brain."},{"startTime":729.52,"endTime":730.104,"body":"It's good."},{"startTime":730.104,"endTime":731.981,"body":"I can be truly happy."},{"startTime":731.981,"endTime":736.777,"body":"If it's a friend of mine that I've known"},{"startTime":731.981,"endTime":736.777,"body":"forever or even for a short while,"},{"startTime":737.111,"endTime":740.489,"body":"because knowing that they're working"},{"startTime":737.111,"endTime":740.489,"body":"means I can borrow money"},{"startTime":742.533,"endTime":743.743,"body":"is good. That's the thing."},{"startTime":743.743,"endTime":746.746,"body":"You're only celebrating people"},{"startTime":743.743,"endTime":746.746,"body":"who are in your work."},{"startTime":746.746,"endTime":750.04,"body":"Or, you know, or but also like the best"},{"startTime":746.746,"endTime":750.04,"body":"thing is when all your friends are working"},{"startTime":750.04,"endTime":752.585,"body":"because then you can bitch about it"},{"startTime":750.04,"endTime":752.585,"body":"together. Right."},{"startTime":752.585,"endTime":755.88,"body":"genuinely do celebrate everybody"},{"startTime":752.585,"endTime":755.88,"body":"because I think it's bad karma."},{"startTime":756.088,"endTime":759.55,"body":"And I'm like, if you start"},{"startTime":756.088,"endTime":759.55,"body":"hating on everybody, then you're going to."},{"startTime":759.884,"endTime":761.343,"body":"But that isn't true"},{"startTime":759.884,"endTime":761.343,"body":"because most the people I know"},{"startTime":761.343,"endTime":763.554,"body":"that are successful are huge haters. Hmm."},{"startTime":763.554,"endTime":764.638,"body":"Maybe I'm in the wrong business."},{"startTime":769.602,"endTime":771.937,"body":"it is such a great time to"},{"startTime":771.937,"endTime":775.232,"body":"be a woman with all these amazing movies"},{"startTime":771.937,"endTime":775.232,"body":"representing us."},{"startTime":775.232,"endTime":778.486,"body":"Like,"},{"startTime":775.232,"endTime":778.486,"body":"no hard feelings about a woman who is paid"},{"startTime":778.486,"endTime":781.739,"body":"to sleep with a young guy"},{"startTime":778.486,"endTime":781.739,"body":"so he doesn't have to go to college."},{"startTime":781.864,"endTime":785.075,"body":"virgin and Barbie, which is great"},{"startTime":785.075,"endTime":788.078,"body":"because then women can start dressing"},{"startTime":785.075,"endTime":788.078,"body":"like dolls."},{"startTime":788.621,"endTime":789.83,"body":"Barbie and joining 23."},{"startTime":789.83,"endTime":795.085,"body":"Yeah, and there is just this article"},{"startTime":789.83,"endTime":795.085,"body":"about J.Lo wearing the Barbie shoes,"},{"startTime":795.085,"endTime":799.507,"body":"which are these high Lucite shoes"},{"startTime":795.085,"endTime":799.507,"body":"and there is a J.Lo Barbie, I guess."},{"startTime":799.84,"endTime":801.759,"body":"What if I open the door"},{"startTime":799.84,"endTime":801.759,"body":"and there are tons of J.Lo?"},{"startTime":801.759,"endTime":802.635,"body":"Barbie's in there."},{"startTime":802.635,"endTime":805.638,"body":"Yeah, and I'm trying to be cool"},{"startTime":805.721,"endTime":806.055,"body":"with this."},{"startTime":806.055,"endTime":808.516,"body":"I was hiding behind a closet."},{"startTime":808.516,"endTime":809.975,"body":"But anyway, she was unwilling."},{"startTime":809.975,"endTime":810.518,"body":"Grace."},{"startTime":810.518,"endTime":812.603,"body":"and I walked into this kind of side"},{"startTime":812.603,"endTime":815.606,"body":"office on the set,"},{"startTime":812.603,"endTime":815.606,"body":"it was like a supply room type thing."},{"startTime":815.773,"endTime":820.277,"body":"Uh, and sometimes I went in there just to,"},{"startTime":815.773,"endTime":820.277,"body":"you know, blab to the set designer"},{"startTime":820.277,"endTime":824.573,"body":"and have a nip, have maybe a little,"},{"startTime":820.277,"endTime":824.573,"body":"you know, a pre-show, drink for good luck."},{"startTime":824.865,"endTime":828.911,"body":"And anyway, I walk in there"},{"startTime":824.865,"endTime":828.911,"body":"and she is there with her handler."},{"startTime":828.911,"endTime":830.246,"body":"There's no one else around."},{"startTime":830.246,"endTime":833.332,"body":"fully dressed, or she had, like, leggings"},{"startTime":830.246,"endTime":833.332,"body":"on, and her her handler"},{"startTime":833.332,"endTime":836.335,"body":"was helping her"},{"startTime":833.332,"endTime":836.335,"body":"put on a skirt over her leggings"},{"startTime":836.46,"endTime":841.34,"body":"and I walk in and they freeze like I'm,"},{"startTime":836.46,"endTime":841.34,"body":"you know, an intruder."},{"startTime":841.34,"endTime":843.217,"body":"And and I just said, Oh, hi."},{"startTime":843.217,"endTime":847.721,"body":"writing for the show and her handler steps"},{"startTime":843.217,"endTime":847.721,"body":"in front of her like, like to cover her"},{"startTime":847.888,"endTime":849.39,"body":"like she's guarding the president"},{"startTime":850.391,"endTime":853.477,"body":"and then and then says back to J-Lo, It's"},{"startTime":850.391,"endTime":853.477,"body":"okay."},{"startTime":853.477,"endTime":856.063,"body":"She works here."},{"startTime":856.063,"endTime":858.357,"body":"And I thought,"},{"startTime":856.063,"endTime":858.357,"body":"what did they think I'd be doing?"},{"startTime":858.357,"endTime":859.733,"body":"I had my lanyard on."},{"startTime":859.733,"endTime":862.653,"body":"I'm, you know, in my office attire."},{"startTime":859.733,"endTime":862.653,"body":"What did they think?"},{"startTime":862.653,"endTime":865.656,"body":"I like that he had to double clarify"},{"startTime":862.653,"endTime":865.656,"body":"that you're not a threat."},{"startTime":866.282,"endTime":867.533,"body":"And it was a she."},{"startTime":867.533,"endTime":869.41,"body":"Was like, oh, the handler was this."},{"startTime":869.41,"endTime":870.494,"body":"Yeah. Are his."},{"startTime":870.494,"endTime":871.036,"body":"Pictures like I."},{"startTime":871.036,"endTime":872.037,"body":"Mean, No, no, no."},{"startTime":872.037,"endTime":874.373,"body":"I'm sorry I leaving know"},{"startTime":872.037,"endTime":874.373,"body":"but yeah it was a."},{"startTime":874.373,"endTime":877.459,"body":"She couldn't hear you"},{"startTime":874.373,"endTime":877.459,"body":"because you were the Brazilian."},{"startTime":878.127,"endTime":881.338,"body":"I guess if you're not"},{"startTime":878.127,"endTime":881.338,"body":"if you're underneath her dollar amount,"},{"startTime":881.38,"endTime":882.548,"body":"she can't physically hear you."},{"startTime":882.548,"endTime":885.551,"body":"But just the look of anger and. And shock."},{"startTime":885.718,"endTime":888.053,"body":"Yeah. And I was like."},{"startTime":885.718,"endTime":888.053,"body":"What are you doing in this room?"},{"startTime":888.053,"endTime":890.681,"body":"Yeah, they had Mega guest stars."},{"startTime":890.681,"endTime":891.098,"body":"Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":891.098,"endTime":892.433,"body":"They had amazing guest stars."},{"startTime":892.433,"endTime":893.601,"body":"Who is on their Cher."},{"startTime":893.601,"endTime":895.519,"body":"Madonna right there. No."},{"startTime":895.519,"endTime":898.188,"body":"I was on the show that week, as is Nurse"},{"startTime":895.519,"endTime":898.188,"body":"Sheila,"},{"startTime":898.188,"endTime":901.191,"body":"the same week"},{"startTime":898.188,"endTime":901.191,"body":"that one of the times that Cher was on"},{"startTime":901.275,"endTime":904.987,"body":"and I was kicked out of my dressing room"},{"startTime":901.275,"endTime":904.987,"body":"for Cher's wig."},{"startTime":905.237,"endTime":907.781,"body":"So did you get access to the wig?"},{"startTime":907.781,"endTime":908.449,"body":"No, I."},{"startTime":908.449,"endTime":910.951,"body":"That's why I had to be kicked out,"},{"startTime":908.449,"endTime":910.951,"body":"because the wig needed its own room."},{"startTime":910.951,"endTime":912.786,"body":"I don't know what I. Maybe that."},{"startTime":912.786,"endTime":914.955,"body":"I think it's in her, you know."},{"startTime":914.955,"endTime":916.916,"body":"Yeah. That her wig needs its own room."},{"startTime":916.916,"endTime":918.334,"body":"One wig. Hmm. Hmm."},{"startTime":918.334,"endTime":920.544,"body":"And it just sits in a room on a mannequin."},{"startTime":920.544,"endTime":921.211,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":921.211,"endTime":925.841,"body":"And what I took from that is I'm"},{"startTime":921.211,"endTime":925.841,"body":"not as valuable as a hairpiece."},{"startTime":925.966,"endTime":929.178,"body":"Uh huh, Yeah. As a writer, actor,"},{"startTime":925.966,"endTime":929.178,"body":"whatever."},{"startTime":929.386,"endTime":931.555,"body":"Anyway,"},{"startTime":929.386,"endTime":931.555,"body":"but you are. Oh, you were an actor."},{"startTime":931.555,"endTime":932.598,"body":"Yeah, I just. I was in there."},{"startTime":932.598,"endTime":934.391,"body":"She shared Tiny."},{"startTime":934.391,"endTime":935.184,"body":"I think she was."},{"startTime":935.184,"endTime":937.937,"body":"She was in heels most of the time,"},{"startTime":935.184,"endTime":937.937,"body":"but yeah, she wasn't, that tall."},{"startTime":937.937,"endTime":939.98,"body":"I think she's deceptively tall."},{"startTime":939.98,"endTime":941.69,"body":"Oh, really? Yeah,"},{"startTime":939.98,"endTime":941.69,"body":"but did she have, like, a huge."},{"startTime":941.69,"endTime":942.191,"body":"You know what I'm saying?"},{"startTime":942.191,"endTime":943.442,"body":"When you're like, walking in"},{"startTime":942.191,"endTime":943.442,"body":"is that Monday"},{"startTime":943.442,"endTime":945.778,"body":"morning and like, Oh, my God, there's,"},{"startTime":943.442,"endTime":945.778,"body":"like, a guest star. Mm hmm."},{"startTime":945.778,"endTime":947.613,"body":"Who had the most noticeable presence?"},{"startTime":947.613,"endTime":950.449,"body":"I think for me it was,"},{"startTime":947.613,"endTime":950.449,"body":"because I was such a fan."},{"startTime":950.449,"endTime":952.242,"body":"It was Gene Wilder."},{"startTime":952.242,"endTime":954.119,"body":"Oh, my God. Yeah."},{"startTime":954.119,"endTime":954.828,"body":"Yeah, that's."},{"startTime":954.828,"endTime":955.579,"body":"Huge."},{"startTime":955.579,"endTime":957.998,"body":"And I was actually, like, too"},{"startTime":955.579,"endTime":957.998,"body":"embarrassed to meet him."},{"startTime":957.998,"endTime":960.417,"body":"was in the, writer huddle for new jokes."},{"startTime":960.417,"endTime":964.046,"body":"You know, I ran in a couple of bits"},{"startTime":960.417,"endTime":964.046,"body":"for him and he did them."},{"startTime":964.129,"endTime":968.3,"body":"my thing was like Nana's change purse"},{"startTime":964.129,"endTime":968.3,"body":"or something crazy like that to name"},{"startTime":968.3,"endTime":969.301,"body":"a changed person."},{"startTime":969.301,"endTime":972.846,"body":"he was so funny and so amazing,"},{"startTime":969.301,"endTime":972.846,"body":"like doing his kind of really neurotic"},{"startTime":973.389,"endTime":973.931,"body":"kind of thing."},{"startTime":973.931,"endTime":976.141,"body":"Like, well,"},{"startTime":973.931,"endTime":976.141,"body":"I don't know, you know, his old shit."},{"startTime":976.141,"endTime":977.768,"body":"It was sort of"},{"startTime":976.141,"endTime":977.768,"body":"when Laraine was sitting here."},{"startTime":977.768,"endTime":978.268,"body":"Uh huh."},{"startTime":978.268,"endTime":981.48,"body":"Very hard for me"},{"startTime":978.268,"endTime":981.48,"body":"not to ask 100 million questions."},{"startTime":981.522,"endTime":983.691,"body":"Oh, in the episode I still do."},{"startTime":983.691,"endTime":987.569,"body":"Oh, that's like, like a third of what"},{"startTime":983.691,"endTime":987.569,"body":"I was trying it like, Oh."},{"startTime":987.861,"endTime":990.03,"body":"I'm going to have to check it out."},{"startTime":987.861,"endTime":990.03,"body":"I don't listen to podcasts."},{"startTime":991.49,"endTime":993.951,"body":"But Gene Wilder's where you're not like"},{"startTime":991.49,"endTime":993.951,"body":"you try to squeeze"},{"startTime":993.951,"endTime":997.663,"body":"in like one Gilda Radner Question"},{"startTime":993.951,"endTime":997.663,"body":"Is it a death about someone's dead wife?"},{"startTime":997.746,"endTime":1000.749,"body":"No, I That didn't even dawn on me."},{"startTime":1000.916,"endTime":1004.753,"body":"No, because all I'm doing is thinking"},{"startTime":1000.916,"endTime":1004.753,"body":"about, like, how funny he is."},{"startTime":1004.753,"endTime":1006.714,"body":"wanting his approval or something,"},{"startTime":1004.753,"endTime":1006.714,"body":"I guess."},{"startTime":1006.714,"endTime":1009.717,"body":"Yeah. Okay. I'm going to forget."},{"startTime":1006.714,"endTime":1009.717,"body":"Who was it?"},{"startTime":1009.758,"endTime":1013.053,"body":"Who was the blond guitarist"},{"startTime":1009.758,"endTime":1013.053,"body":"on SNL forever? gee."},{"startTime":1013.095,"endTime":1013.846,"body":"Smith. Yeah."},{"startTime":1013.846,"endTime":1015.556,"body":"Do you know that that was Gilda Radner?"},{"startTime":1015.556,"endTime":1017.224,"body":"Some crazy."},{"startTime":1017.224,"endTime":1019.81,"body":"After that, she went to Gene Wilder."},{"startTime":1019.81,"endTime":1021.603,"body":"Wow, that's nuts."},{"startTime":1021.603,"endTime":1022.146,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1022.146,"endTime":1026.108,"body":"One had a really great hair"},{"startTime":1022.146,"endTime":1026.108,"body":"and one had notoriously fucked up."},{"startTime":1026.608,"endTime":1027.901,"body":"Oh, right, Right."},{"startTime":1027.901,"endTime":1029.778,"body":"They're two polar opposites. Yeah. So."},{"startTime":1029.778,"endTime":1033.824,"body":"Okay, so my admiration of the people"},{"startTime":1029.778,"endTime":1033.824,"body":"we get to work with Is no Freud."},{"startTime":1034.158,"endTime":1036.368,"body":"It's not schadenfreude or anything. It's."},{"startTime":1036.368,"endTime":1037.745,"body":"Or whatnot. False. And Freud."},{"startTime":1037.745,"endTime":1040.706,"body":"Uh huh, uh huh. Right. Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":1040.789,"endTime":1043.25,"body":"I mean, it's a made up word. I think"},{"startTime":1040.789,"endTime":1043.25,"body":"you could say it anywhere you want. Yeah."},{"startTime":1044.376,"endTime":1046.754,"body":"It's the"},{"startTime":1044.376,"endTime":1046.754,"body":"legitimate happiness of something."},{"startTime":1046.754,"endTime":1047.296,"body":"What's that?"},{"startTime":1047.296,"endTime":1048.088,"body":"Oh, that's."},{"startTime":1048.088,"endTime":1049.673,"body":"called Freud and Freud"},{"startTime":1049.673,"endTime":1053.844,"body":"and that's a made up word of last year"},{"startTime":1049.673,"endTime":1053.844,"body":"from these social scientists, I guess."},{"startTime":1054.219,"endTime":1055.846,"body":"Now, see, this is the problem."},{"startTime":1055.846,"endTime":1058.015,"body":"It's like I'm old enough, I'm"},{"startTime":1055.846,"endTime":1058.015,"body":"fucking for you."},{"startTime":1058.015,"endTime":1061.018,"body":"Do you see, like, a journalist"},{"startTime":1058.015,"endTime":1061.018,"body":"on television who's younger than you know?"},{"startTime":1061.143,"endTime":1062.728,"body":"What the fuck are they"},{"startTime":1061.143,"endTime":1062.728,"body":"talking to the news for?"},{"startTime":1062.728,"endTime":1065.064,"body":"Oh, right."},{"startTime":1065.064,"endTime":1068.317,"body":"one time I was just watching, you know,"},{"startTime":1065.064,"endTime":1068.317,"body":"a local news station thing, and I noticed"},{"startTime":1068.317,"endTime":1072.404,"body":"that the weather person was dressed"},{"startTime":1068.317,"endTime":1072.404,"body":"like a cocktail waitress. Yes."},{"startTime":1072.404,"endTime":1072.946,"body":"Oh, okay."},{"startTime":1072.946,"endTime":1075.449,"body":"So what? You and I are addicted"},{"startTime":1072.946,"endTime":1075.449,"body":"to one channel in particular?"},{"startTime":1075.449,"endTime":1076.116,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":1076.116,"endTime":1078.619,"body":"It's all about the weather person, huh?"},{"startTime":1078.619,"endTime":1080.746,"body":"But, yeah,"},{"startTime":1078.619,"endTime":1080.746,"body":"she's always dressed for the club."},{"startTime":1080.746,"endTime":1082.456,"body":"Yeah. It's the weather."},{"startTime":1082.456,"endTime":1083.29,"body":"And it's $0.09."},{"startTime":1083.29,"endTime":1086.293,"body":"M right. Now are like, get ready shots."},{"startTime":1086.293,"endTime":1087.086,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":1087.086,"endTime":1088.67,"body":"Yeah. Is this news?"},{"startTime":1088.67,"endTime":1089.755,"body":"She's the Weather person."},{"startTime":1089.755,"endTime":1090.214,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":1090.214,"endTime":1092.132,"body":"like, if it's the bumper,"},{"startTime":1092.132,"endTime":1094.551,"body":"like, let's check in with the weather"},{"startTime":1092.132,"endTime":1094.551,"body":"or the full forecast."},{"startTime":1094.551,"endTime":1098.138,"body":"She has an amazing, like,"},{"startTime":1094.551,"endTime":1098.138,"body":"emotional character arc."},{"startTime":1098.222,"endTime":1101.141,"body":"If it's a five second bumper or anything,"},{"startTime":1101.141,"endTime":1104.478,"body":"she starts out like really chipper"},{"startTime":1101.141,"endTime":1104.478,"body":"and excited to tell you the news and"},{"startTime":1105.479,"endTime":1108.482,"body":"she's got vocal fry to you like this."},{"startTime":1108.565,"endTime":1110.275,"body":"So sometimes that happens."},{"startTime":1110.275,"endTime":1113.153,"body":"And coming up next is the weather."},{"startTime":1113.153,"endTime":1117.783,"body":"She's like, I can't wait to tell you"},{"startTime":1113.153,"endTime":1117.783,"body":"how it's going to be know every time."},{"startTime":1117.991,"endTime":1119.618,"body":"Oh, I love someone."},{"startTime":1119.618,"endTime":1120.828,"body":"It's the full segment, right?"},{"startTime":1120.828,"endTime":1122.371,"body":"Yeah, it's to deal with."},{"startTime":1122.371,"endTime":1125.666,"body":"She really starts out perky"},{"startTime":1122.371,"endTime":1125.666,"body":"and then there's a middle ground, um,"},{"startTime":1125.749,"endTime":1126.667,"body":"where she's just kind of,"},{"startTime":1126.667,"endTime":1129.837,"body":"like, confused as to what emotion"},{"startTime":1126.667,"endTime":1129.837,"body":"she's supposed to portray."},{"startTime":1130.838,"endTime":1132.965,"body":"And by the time she gets to the Inland"},{"startTime":1130.838,"endTime":1132.965,"body":"Empire."},{"startTime":1132.965,"endTime":1135.968,"body":"Yeah. The high desert culture."},{"startTime":1136.51,"endTime":1138.387,"body":"And she'll tell you more about it later."},{"startTime":1138.387,"endTime":1139.93,"body":"Oh, it's amazing."},{"startTime":1139.93,"endTime":1144.81,"body":"And I'm like, you know, she is like"},{"startTime":1139.93,"endTime":1144.81,"body":"a second City or Groundlings, like, Oh,"},{"startTime":1145.144,"endTime":1145.811,"body":"right."},{"startTime":1145.811,"endTime":1148.73,"body":"Of fame on TV a different way,"},{"startTime":1145.811,"endTime":1148.73,"body":"which I feel like that might be me."},{"startTime":1148.73,"endTime":1151.65,"body":"I might just like ten more years"},{"startTime":1148.73,"endTime":1151.65,"body":"and like 100 more pounds,"},{"startTime":1151.65,"endTime":1154.82,"body":"and I'll just be like the entertainment"},{"startTime":1151.65,"endTime":1154.82,"body":"reporter on cue"},{"startTime":1154.987,"endTime":1158.157,"body":"think I'll be the person"},{"startTime":1154.987,"endTime":1158.157,"body":"climbing up to the top to jump off."},{"startTime":1158.699,"endTime":1161.535,"body":"A woman was spotted on the KTLA tower"},{"startTime":1158.699,"endTime":1161.535,"body":"today."},{"startTime":1161.535,"endTime":1163.704,"body":"I can do everything that crazy men do."},{"startTime":1169.334,"endTime":1169.751,"body":"I did."},{"startTime":1169.751,"endTime":1173.505,"body":"Rewatching all of the submersible"},{"startTime":1169.751,"endTime":1173.505,"body":"I did rewatch a night to remember."},{"startTime":1173.922,"endTime":1174.715,"body":"Have you seen that?"},{"startTime":1174.715,"endTime":1176.8,"body":"No. The 1958 Titanic movie."},{"startTime":1176.8,"endTime":1178.177,"body":"Oh, no, I didn't."},{"startTime":1178.177,"endTime":1179.928,"body":"You have. Oh, my God, I should have."},{"startTime":1179.928,"endTime":1184.933,"body":"Because I was so angry"},{"startTime":1179.928,"endTime":1184.933,"body":"at the James Cameron Titanic movie."},{"startTime":1185.225,"endTime":1185.851,"body":"First movie?"},{"startTime":1185.851,"endTime":1188.77,"body":"Yeah, I called that high cheese"},{"startTime":1185.851,"endTime":1188.77,"body":"on the high seas."},{"startTime":1188.77,"endTime":1192.9,"body":"I was so angry,"},{"startTime":1188.77,"endTime":1192.9,"body":"I was sitting with my then boyfriend."},{"startTime":1192.941,"endTime":1194.902,"body":"He was crying"},{"startTime":1192.941,"endTime":1194.902,"body":"and I was looking around to see"},{"startTime":1194.902,"endTime":1198.697,"body":"if anybody else was as mad as I was"},{"startTime":1194.902,"endTime":1198.697,"body":"about the fucking bagpipes and everything."},{"startTime":1198.697,"endTime":1199.448,"body":"It's like, Come."},{"startTime":1199.448,"endTime":1201.909,"body":"On, that fagot friend Johnny Martinez."},{"startTime":1201.909,"endTime":1204.203,"body":"May he rest in peace. He cried."},{"startTime":1204.203,"endTime":1205.746,"body":"We saw it in the theater"},{"startTime":1204.203,"endTime":1205.746,"body":"and we looked over"},{"startTime":1205.746,"endTime":1208.207,"body":"and he was wiping tears from his eyes"},{"startTime":1205.746,"endTime":1208.207,"body":"with this shirt."},{"startTime":1208.207,"endTime":1209.958,"body":"So was my. Boyfriend."},{"startTime":1209.958,"endTime":1211.543,"body":"He never lived it down. And he's dead."},{"startTime":1211.543,"endTime":1214.213,"body":"It was. It was like you."},{"startTime":1211.543,"endTime":1214.213,"body":"How can you cry this?"},{"startTime":1214.213,"endTime":1216.298,"body":"And it was when the ship was like a wreck."},{"startTime":1216.298,"endTime":1219.301,"body":"Yeah, like coming down. And the man."},{"startTime":1219.301,"endTime":1220.719,"body":"Oh, yeah, the fucking."},{"startTime":1220.719,"endTime":1222.804,"body":"It was so manipulative."},{"startTime":1222.804,"endTime":1227.267,"body":"It's like James Cameron put an onion"},{"startTime":1222.804,"endTime":1227.267,"body":"through your, you know, to your eyeballs."},{"startTime":1228.393,"endTime":1229.978,"body":"People lost their minds with that."},{"startTime":1229.978,"endTime":1231.772,"body":"Oh, it's a little lost."},{"startTime":1231.772,"endTime":1234.316,"body":"Especially in the nineties"},{"startTime":1231.772,"endTime":1234.316,"body":"when media was a little more concentrated."},{"startTime":1234.316,"endTime":1237.319,"body":"Like when Princess Diana died,"},{"startTime":1234.316,"endTime":1237.319,"body":"the world lost stock of money."},{"startTime":1237.361,"endTime":1238.445,"body":"Yeah, like Titanic came out."},{"startTime":1238.445,"endTime":1241.365,"body":"It was the same weird, like saturation."},{"startTime":1241.365,"endTime":1243.992,"body":"Yeah. You couldn't get away from it. Yeah."},{"startTime":1241.365,"endTime":1243.992,"body":"My favorite is a joke."},{"startTime":1243.992,"endTime":1247.287,"body":"People always ask Joan Rivers, like,"},{"startTime":1243.992,"endTime":1247.287,"body":"do celebrities that you talk about?"},{"startTime":1247.371,"endTime":1248.497,"body":"are they often about what you say?"},{"startTime":1248.497,"endTime":1250.999,"body":"And the one person you always bring up"},{"startTime":1248.497,"endTime":1250.999,"body":"was Kathy Bates."},{"startTime":1250.999,"endTime":1253.293,"body":"Never spoke to her again"},{"startTime":1250.999,"endTime":1253.293,"body":"because the Titanic sank."},{"startTime":1253.293,"endTime":1256.296,"body":"If she had to go,"},{"startTime":1257.631,"endTime":1259.758,"body":"Yeah,"},{"startTime":1257.631,"endTime":1259.758,"body":"you should watch the night to remember."},{"startTime":1259.758,"endTime":1262.427,"body":"just like classic old movie where"},{"startTime":1259.758,"endTime":1262.427,"body":"everybody everybody's talking with that."},{"startTime":1262.427,"endTime":1263.929,"body":"With that weird accent, and."},{"startTime":1263.929,"endTime":1265.639,"body":"They call it Is it Continental?"},{"startTime":1265.639,"endTime":1267.224,"body":"Continental? Yeah."},{"startTime":1267.224,"endTime":1269.184,"body":"With the Continental. Right."},{"startTime":1269.184,"endTime":1271.478,"body":"But overacting, it's really good. Mm hmm."},{"startTime":1271.478,"endTime":1273.981,"body":"the special effects are, you know,"},{"startTime":1271.478,"endTime":1273.981,"body":"not good."},{"startTime":1273.981,"endTime":1277.15,"body":"really like older horror films"},{"startTime":1273.981,"endTime":1277.15,"body":"because There was a time, I think, in"},{"startTime":1277.276,"endTime":1279.319,"body":"like the eighties and nineties"},{"startTime":1279.319,"endTime":1282.281,"body":"when it was,"},{"startTime":1279.319,"endTime":1282.281,"body":"it was almost like a wink to the audience."},{"startTime":1282.281,"endTime":1284.95,"body":"Like the audience,"},{"startTime":1282.281,"endTime":1284.95,"body":"like the actors were kind of saying, like,"},{"startTime":1284.95,"endTime":1287.703,"body":"I know this is cheesy,"},{"startTime":1284.95,"endTime":1287.703,"body":"but I have a mortgage."},{"startTime":1287.703,"endTime":1288.745,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1288.745,"endTime":1291.415,"body":"And yeah, Have you seen who makes zombie?"},{"startTime":1291.415,"endTime":1293.667,"body":"And then years later they make zombie too."},{"startTime":1293.667,"endTime":1296.378,"body":"there's a sequence in the New York Harbor"},{"startTime":1293.667,"endTime":1296.378,"body":"or whatever where"},{"startTime":1296.378,"endTime":1300.59,"body":"there's a zombie fights with a shark"},{"startTime":1296.378,"endTime":1300.59,"body":"and the shark is real in the shoot."},{"startTime":1300.841,"endTime":1301.591,"body":"Oh, wow."},{"startTime":1301.591,"endTime":1303.635,"body":"That's like a real fight"},{"startTime":1301.591,"endTime":1303.635,"body":"with, like, a bull shark or something."},{"startTime":1303.635,"endTime":1306.013,"body":"Not a shark, but. well. Here is my point."},{"startTime":1306.013,"endTime":1309.808,"body":"I watched The Vampire Lovers"},{"startTime":1306.013,"endTime":1309.808,"body":"million years later."},{"startTime":1309.808,"endTime":1310.767,"body":"Here's my point."},{"startTime":1310.767,"endTime":1315.605,"body":"The vampire lovers"},{"startTime":1310.767,"endTime":1315.605,"body":"and these women were truly good actors."},{"startTime":1315.605,"endTime":1317.357,"body":"They were they didn't have amazing"},{"startTime":1317.357,"endTime":1321.236,"body":"lines or anything,"},{"startTime":1317.357,"endTime":1321.236,"body":"but they made it Kind of believable."},{"startTime":1321.278,"endTime":1321.403,"body":"They were."},{"startTime":1321.403,"endTime":1322.07,"body":"Trying to sell. It."},{"startTime":1322.07,"endTime":1325.615,"body":"Yeah, but"},{"startTime":1322.07,"endTime":1325.615,"body":"but I mean, I think that they were subtle."},{"startTime":1325.615,"endTime":1326.491,"body":"That was what"},{"startTime":1328.285,"endTime":1328.994,"body":"I meant something to me."},{"startTime":1328.994,"endTime":1332.456,"body":"And and I watched this other one"},{"startTime":1328.994,"endTime":1332.456,"body":"where this woman was screaming"},{"startTime":1332.456,"endTime":1336.96,"body":"and she had such a weird scream"},{"startTime":1332.456,"endTime":1336.96,"body":"that it kind of seemed funny."},{"startTime":1337.502,"endTime":1338.837,"body":"Like, it didn't seem horrifying."},{"startTime":1338.837,"endTime":1341.173,"body":"It was like"},{"startTime":1341.173,"endTime":1341.923,"body":"she burping."},{"startTime":1341.923,"endTime":1343.884,"body":"And I was just like, what the."},{"startTime":1343.884,"endTime":1345.927,"body":"So there's some porn, gay porn."},{"startTime":1345.927,"endTime":1346.595,"body":"I don't know where."},{"startTime":1346.595,"endTime":1349.598,"body":"It's like, if you want, like, rough,"},{"startTime":1346.595,"endTime":1349.598,"body":"like a rough sex scene."},{"startTime":1349.681,"endTime":1351.6,"body":"Yeah, but like they're having sex."},{"startTime":1351.6,"endTime":1354.811,"body":"And of my friend"},{"startTime":1351.6,"endTime":1354.811,"body":"watching this video of this guy and it was"},{"startTime":1354.811,"endTime":1359.858,"body":"like kind of an older man and like,"},{"startTime":1354.811,"endTime":1359.858,"body":"a younger man was rough, but it was like."},{"startTime":1360.275,"endTime":1362.069,"body":"It was like a farce."},{"startTime":1362.069,"endTime":1364.488,"body":"No way this could be real,"},{"startTime":1362.069,"endTime":1364.488,"body":"because the guys, it's like"},{"startTime":1364.488,"endTime":1367.491,"body":"the sexual activity they were doing"},{"startTime":1364.488,"endTime":1367.491,"body":"was not that brutal."},{"startTime":1367.491,"endTime":1369.91,"body":"Mm hmm. And then they put the guys like."},{"startTime":1369.91,"endTime":1373.121,"body":"Like on the coffee table"},{"startTime":1369.91,"endTime":1373.121,"body":"and shaking all the, like, faces off."},{"startTime":1373.163,"endTime":1373.955,"body":"Oh, my God."},{"startTime":1373.955,"endTime":1375.665,"body":"The curtains and the curtains,"},{"startTime":1373.955,"endTime":1375.665,"body":"like, fall off the window."},{"startTime":1375.665,"endTime":1378.668,"body":"Like, it was like the reaction from"},{"startTime":1375.665,"endTime":1378.668,"body":"the actor was not."},{"startTime":1378.71,"endTime":1381.671,"body":"It was way more violent or just kind of"},{"startTime":1383.298,"endTime":1385.217,"body":"actual, like, acts."},{"startTime":1385.217,"endTime":1385.634,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":1385.634,"endTime":1386.927,"body":"It was so comical."},{"startTime":1386.927,"endTime":1389.304,"body":"I was like, This looks like a blooper."},{"startTime":1389.304,"endTime":1390.222,"body":"But so funny."},{"startTime":1390.222,"endTime":1392.474,"body":"Bracing on the dinner table"},{"startTime":1390.222,"endTime":1392.474,"body":"just to hold it for support."},{"startTime":1392.474,"endTime":1394.101,"body":"But like,"},{"startTime":1392.474,"endTime":1394.101,"body":"the candelabras are falling over."},{"startTime":1394.101,"endTime":1395.977,"body":"I was like, I was believing that. Do we."},{"startTime":1395.977,"endTime":1397.938,"body":"Should we have a porn review segment?"},{"startTime":1397.938,"endTime":1399.523,"body":"Yeah. Other people do that."},{"startTime":1399.523,"endTime":1401.775,"body":"Probably like seventies eighties porn."},{"startTime":1401.775,"endTime":1403.11,"body":"Yeah, my thing."},{"startTime":1403.11,"endTime":1405.946,"body":"there was this one,"},{"startTime":1403.11,"endTime":1405.946,"body":"I guess it was an eighties porn."},{"startTime":1405.946,"endTime":1408.031,"body":"And I really liked this woman's role."},{"startTime":1408.031,"endTime":1413.87,"body":"She was a real estate person"},{"startTime":1408.031,"endTime":1413.87,"body":"and she walked into this guy's house"},{"startTime":1413.87,"endTime":1417.541,"body":"and he was just getting out of the shower,"},{"startTime":1413.87,"endTime":1417.541,"body":"coordinate a robe on, and she said,"},{"startTime":1417.666,"endTime":1419.459,"body":"I'd like to buy this property."},{"startTime":1419.459,"endTime":1421.878,"body":"And he says, It's"},{"startTime":1419.459,"endTime":1421.878,"body":"not for sale. Then his then his,"},{"startTime":1422.838,"endTime":1423.755,"body":"his robe comes"},{"startTime":1423.755,"endTime":1426.758,"body":"up, you know, just flies open or whatever."},{"startTime":1426.883,"endTime":1430.303,"body":"And she said, Well, with"},{"startTime":1426.883,"endTime":1430.303,"body":"even if I don't buy the property,"},{"startTime":1430.595,"endTime":1434.516,"body":"if I, could be on top of a cock like that,"},{"startTime":1430.595,"endTime":1434.516,"body":"I've still made out."},{"startTime":1434.516,"endTime":1437.686,"body":"And I was like, wait a second,"},{"startTime":1434.516,"endTime":1437.686,"body":"I've gone to business school."},{"startTime":1438.478,"endTime":1440.063,"body":"You're no closer to owning that property."},{"startTime":1440.063,"endTime":1440.772,"body":"I'm sorry. Go ahead."},{"startTime":1440.772,"endTime":1443.567,"body":"Have you seen Once"},{"startTime":1440.772,"endTime":1443.567,"body":"upon a time in the West. Mm."},{"startTime":1443.567,"endTime":1443.942,"body":"You have."},{"startTime":1443.942,"endTime":1445.569,"body":"I always talked about this movie, Right."},{"startTime":1445.569,"endTime":1447.779,"body":"She hasn't. Seen it. Kevin."},{"startTime":1447.779,"endTime":1448.738,"body":"Oh, my God."},{"startTime":1448.738,"endTime":1451.908,"body":"you just asked, my grandson in, in, in,"},{"startTime":1453.118,"endTime":1456.246,"body":"in this, in the assisted living center."},{"startTime":1456.371,"endTime":1461.793,"body":"You just asked my grandson,"},{"startTime":1456.371,"endTime":1461.793,"body":"who actually my husband nodding yes."},{"startTime":1461.793,"endTime":1464.129,"body":"And so that's why I wanted to confirm."},{"startTime":1464.129,"endTime":1466.59,"body":"That I don't want any more applesauce."},{"startTime":1466.59,"endTime":1468.508,"body":"I don't want any more applesauce."},{"startTime":1468.508,"endTime":1471.511,"body":"For the record,"},{"startTime":1468.508,"endTime":1471.511,"body":"I didn't just override law."},{"startTime":1471.678,"endTime":1474.431,"body":"As I'm sitting here across from you."},{"startTime":1474.431,"endTime":1476.057,"body":"Wait, did she actually."},{"startTime":1476.057,"endTime":1478.226,"body":"Because she doesn't know Clearly you."},{"startTime":1478.226,"endTime":1480.854,"body":"Seen a lot. Of who. Oh, Christ."},{"startTime":1480.854,"endTime":1481.897,"body":"So I can."},{"startTime":1481.897,"endTime":1482.564,"body":"See when I read it."},{"startTime":1482.564,"endTime":1484.858,"body":"Anyway, there's a beautiful actress in it."},{"startTime":1484.858,"endTime":1486.067,"body":"I think she's Italian."},{"startTime":1486.067,"endTime":1486.776,"body":"Hmm. But"},{"startTime":1486.776,"endTime":1490.447,"body":"there's something about when she speaks,"},{"startTime":1486.776,"endTime":1490.447,"body":"it looks like her voice has been over."},{"startTime":1491.072,"endTime":1493.742,"body":"Oh, right. Quite match."},{"startTime":1493.742,"endTime":1496.328,"body":"Something about she's not missing. Right?"},{"startTime":1496.328,"endTime":1499.414,"body":"When the voice doesn't"},{"startTime":1496.328,"endTime":1499.414,"body":"kind of fit the face or the person."},{"startTime":1499.414,"endTime":1500.957,"body":"Yeah, they're outside it."},{"startTime":1500.957,"endTime":1503.376,"body":"Clearly, the voice"},{"startTime":1500.957,"endTime":1503.376,"body":"sounds like it was prerecorded indoors."},{"startTime":1503.376,"endTime":1504.294,"body":"Oh. Yeah?"},{"startTime":1504.294,"endTime":1505.795,"body":"Yeah. Weird. Disconnected."},{"startTime":1505.795,"endTime":1507.631,"body":"Yeah. because it is a spaghetti Western."},{"startTime":1507.631,"endTime":1510.842,"body":"Wow. Watch that. Yes. The longest movie."},{"startTime":1510.842,"endTime":1512.886,"body":"And I can't explain why,"},{"startTime":1510.842,"endTime":1512.886,"body":"but I fucking loved it."},{"startTime":1512.886,"endTime":1515.472,"body":"I would. I would love that long."},{"startTime":1512.886,"endTime":1515.472,"body":"It's like."},{"startTime":1515.472,"endTime":1515.847,"body":"You know."},{"startTime":1515.847,"endTime":1518.266,"body":"I've just assume"},{"startTime":1515.847,"endTime":1518.266,"body":"I don't like Westerns, you know,"},{"startTime":1518.266,"endTime":1521.811,"body":"because I also feel like"},{"startTime":1518.266,"endTime":1521.811,"body":"the horses are being hurt and or whatever."},{"startTime":1521.811,"endTime":1524.481,"body":"I just don't like it. Yeah, Yeah,"},{"startTime":1521.811,"endTime":1524.481,"body":"they definitely were."},{"startTime":1524.481,"endTime":1528.109,"body":"And, you know, in roping, cattle"},{"startTime":1524.481,"endTime":1528.109,"body":"and all that stuff I don't like or sheep"},{"startTime":1528.109,"endTime":1530.028,"body":"I would prefer that"},{"startTime":1528.109,"endTime":1530.028,"body":"they would rope each other."},{"startTime":1530.028,"endTime":1532.864,"body":"And this always is back to horn."},{"startTime":1532.864,"endTime":1534.824,"body":"I know, I know. I'm sorry."},{"startTime":1534.824,"endTime":1538.119,"body":"Ah, well, anyway, But I love loved."},{"startTime":1538.37,"endTime":1539.871,"body":"The good, the bad, and the ugly."},{"startTime":1539.871,"endTime":1542.332,"body":"Oh, well,"},{"startTime":1539.871,"endTime":1542.332,"body":"then I guess. The music, everything."},{"startTime":1542.332,"endTime":1543.75,"body":"Then you're going to love once."},{"startTime":1543.75,"endTime":1544.376,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":1544.376,"endTime":1547.879,"body":"Is like a"},{"startTime":1544.376,"endTime":1547.879,"body":"the whole soundtrack is a harmonica."},{"startTime":1547.879,"endTime":1550.882,"body":"It's. Oh, this is personal music."},{"startTime":1551.424,"endTime":1553.426,"body":"I hate westerns"},{"startTime":1551.424,"endTime":1553.426,"body":"because they're boring. Mhm."},{"startTime":1553.426,"endTime":1555.679,"body":"When I was a kid on the weekend. Right."},{"startTime":1555.679,"endTime":1556.388,"body":"This is back"},{"startTime":1556.388,"endTime":1559.599,"body":"last century when you didn't have cable"},{"startTime":1556.388,"endTime":1559.599,"body":"and you just had like a handful"},{"startTime":1559.599,"endTime":1560.684,"body":"of channels. Mhm."},{"startTime":1560.684,"endTime":1563.52,"body":"And there was something about weekend"},{"startTime":1560.684,"endTime":1563.52,"body":"programing Saturday"},{"startTime":1563.52,"endTime":1564.646,"body":"or Sunday afternoon programing."},{"startTime":1564.646,"endTime":1566.523,"body":"That was all. Gunsmoke."},{"startTime":1566.523,"endTime":1568.567,"body":"Yes. That's all I can think of."},{"startTime":1568.567,"endTime":1569.401,"body":"Right, right, right."},{"startTime":1569.401,"endTime":1572.529,"body":"And then they would follow it up with,"},{"startTime":1569.401,"endTime":1572.529,"body":"like, Diff'rent Strokes, which was never."},{"startTime":1572.988,"endTime":1575.031,"body":"Right. that gave me the."},{"startTime":1575.031,"endTime":1577.242,"body":"Mhm. Abandonment of westerns."},{"startTime":1577.242,"endTime":1579.619,"body":"But also westerns are dusty."},{"startTime":1579.619,"endTime":1580.12,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1580.12,"endTime":1582.163,"body":"Everybody's dirty. Right."},{"startTime":1582.163,"endTime":1583.832,"body":"I couldn't handle that."},{"startTime":1583.832,"endTime":1584.791,"body":"Dirty everybody."},{"startTime":1584.791,"endTime":1588.295,"body":"And. there weren't any roles for women"},{"startTime":1584.791,"endTime":1588.295,"body":"except for the madam."},{"startTime":1588.545,"endTime":1589.546,"body":"So there's some kind of."},{"startTime":1589.546,"endTime":1593.341,"body":"She does play this"},{"startTime":1589.546,"endTime":1593.341,"body":"like woman bride kind of thing."},{"startTime":1593.383,"endTime":1595.176,"body":"Mhm. Contagious about it."},{"startTime":1595.176,"endTime":1596.886,"body":"Which means she just gets all the money."},{"startTime":1596.886,"endTime":1599.18,"body":"Oh. Okay. But so did she."},{"startTime":1599.18,"endTime":1599.639,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":1599.639,"endTime":1602.183,"body":"I guess we will definitely watch. Movies"},{"startTime":1599.639,"endTime":1602.183,"body":"long enough."},{"startTime":1602.183,"endTime":1603.602,"body":"We'll be like, goddammit, how does this."},{"startTime":1603.602,"endTime":1604.436,"body":"No, I wanna."},{"startTime":1604.436,"endTime":1607.272,"body":"We were, we'll go smoke a joint."},{"startTime":1604.436,"endTime":1607.272,"body":"Watch it right now."},{"startTime":1607.272,"endTime":1610.483,"body":"After this though, it really is like"},{"startTime":1607.272,"endTime":1610.483,"body":"every scene is like a painting."},{"startTime":1610.775,"endTime":1614.321,"body":"Okay, I'm going to I'm going to say"},{"startTime":1610.775,"endTime":1614.321,"body":"something, and then I want you to first"},{"startTime":1614.362,"endTime":1615.947,"body":"and Freud it to me."},{"startTime":1615.947,"endTime":1620.785,"body":"I'm happy for, Harry and Meghan"},{"startTime":1615.947,"endTime":1620.785,"body":"for being able to just make it here"},{"startTime":1620.785,"endTime":1624.581,"body":"in America on their name recognition,"},{"startTime":1620.785,"endTime":1624.581,"body":"but also, you know, to"},{"startTime":1624.664,"endTime":1627.917,"body":"to come here with what, millions"},{"startTime":1624.664,"endTime":1627.917,"body":"they had and keep going."},{"startTime":1628.793,"endTime":1632.464,"body":"I'm happy for them because they came here"},{"startTime":1628.793,"endTime":1632.464,"body":"with what millions they had"},{"startTime":1632.881,"endTime":1637.844,"body":"and immediately plunged it into"},{"startTime":1632.881,"endTime":1637.844,"body":"ill thought out attempts at media."},{"startTime":1638.053,"endTime":1639.471,"body":"Right. That's a great. Thing."},{"startTime":1639.471,"endTime":1641.139,"body":"Right now they're just like us."},{"startTime":1642.974,"endTime":1644.476,"body":"How they're related."},{"startTime":1644.476,"endTime":1645.685,"body":"That's so. True."},{"startTime":1645.685,"endTime":1648.313,"body":"way we're playing the game shot"},{"startTime":1645.685,"endTime":1648.313,"body":"in our fashion."},{"startTime":1648.313,"endTime":1652.484,"body":"Yeah, well, finding"},{"startTime":1648.313,"endTime":1652.484,"body":"true joy is Freud and Freud okay?"},{"startTime":1652.776,"endTime":1654.277,"body":"In somebody else's good fortune."},{"startTime":1654.277,"endTime":1657.238,"body":"I am happy that they were called grifters"},{"startTime":1654.277,"endTime":1657.238,"body":"by the people."},{"startTime":1657.238,"endTime":1657.781,"body":"Did you see. That?"},{"startTime":1657.781,"endTime":1659.574,"body":"I love that. No, that kind of thing."},{"startTime":1659.574,"endTime":1662.827,"body":"Because honestly, Nobody wants to hear"},{"startTime":1659.574,"endTime":1662.827,"body":"from them, which is hilarious."},{"startTime":1663.078,"endTime":1665.538,"body":"I think people do"},{"startTime":1663.078,"endTime":1665.538,"body":"want to hear from them right."},{"startTime":1665.538,"endTime":1669.542,"body":"But they're the least somehow interesting"},{"startTime":1665.538,"endTime":1669.542,"body":"people in that whole inbred family."},{"startTime":1669.626,"endTime":1670.835,"body":"Mhm. I know it was more fun"},{"startTime":1670.835,"endTime":1673.838,"body":"when here it would play of the fact"},{"startTime":1670.835,"endTime":1673.838,"body":"that his dad wasn't Prince Charles."},{"startTime":1673.838,"endTime":1676.508,"body":"Right. That was fun. Cause"},{"startTime":1673.838,"endTime":1676.508,"body":"he looks like the bodyguard."},{"startTime":1676.508,"endTime":1679.719,"body":"Well, they had mentioned that King"},{"startTime":1676.508,"endTime":1679.719,"body":"Charles is a distant"},{"startTime":1679.719,"endTime":1683.056,"body":"relative of Vlad the Impaler."},{"startTime":1683.264,"endTime":1684.974,"body":"All related to each other. Right."},{"startTime":1684.974,"endTime":1688.853,"body":"Yeah, Because if you read Nicholas"},{"startTime":1684.974,"endTime":1688.853,"body":"Alexandria, there's a family tree"},{"startTime":1689.229,"endTime":1690.939,"body":"that shows that."},{"startTime":1690.939,"endTime":1694.693,"body":"And I think that especially the English"},{"startTime":1690.939,"endTime":1694.693,"body":"and the Russians were kind"},{"startTime":1694.693,"endTime":1696.486,"body":"of way more incestuous."},{"startTime":1696.486,"endTime":1697.862,"body":"Is this the romanoffs that you're."},{"startTime":1697.862,"endTime":1699.364,"body":"Yes. Okay."},{"startTime":1699.364,"endTime":1701.658,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1699.364,"endTime":1701.658,"body":"They had all the beautiful daughters."},{"startTime":1701.658,"endTime":1701.991,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":1701.991,"endTime":1703.535,"body":"okay,"},{"startTime":1701.991,"endTime":1703.535,"body":"so when they were getting taken over,"},{"startTime":1703.535,"endTime":1707.038,"body":"they were subsequently moved from a palace"},{"startTime":1703.535,"endTime":1707.038,"body":"to smaller palace to a house to house."},{"startTime":1707.038,"endTime":1708.289,"body":"And then they were murdered."},{"startTime":1708.289,"endTime":1712.669,"body":"Wow. In that evolution"},{"startTime":1708.289,"endTime":1712.669,"body":"of being taken away from their power."},{"startTime":1712.961,"endTime":1716.631,"body":"the mother stole a bunch of the jewels"},{"startTime":1712.961,"endTime":1716.631,"body":"and sold them into the girls."},{"startTime":1716.84,"endTime":1718.925,"body":"Oh, right. Yeah, Yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":1718.925,"endTime":1720.677,"body":"So they could like to take them."},{"startTime":1720.677,"endTime":1723.93,"body":"But then when they were taken"},{"startTime":1720.677,"endTime":1723.93,"body":"to the basement to be shot"},{"startTime":1723.93,"endTime":1728.56,"body":"like a firing squad, momentarily,"},{"startTime":1723.93,"endTime":1728.56,"body":"the jewels were just like bullet proof."},{"startTime":1728.768,"endTime":1732.397,"body":"Oh, they say that they, shot him."},{"startTime":1732.856,"endTime":1735.9,"body":"Mm hmm. Filled with smoke."},{"startTime":1732.856,"endTime":1735.9,"body":"Uh huh. Basement."},{"startTime":1735.9,"endTime":1737.277,"body":"And so they were waiting for the smoke"},{"startTime":1737.277,"endTime":1739.612,"body":"to clear and like,"},{"startTime":1737.277,"endTime":1739.612,"body":"the girls were still alive."},{"startTime":1739.612,"endTime":1741.156,"body":"Incredible."},{"startTime":1741.156,"endTime":1743.616,"body":"Oh, I love that. There. Right."},{"startTime":1743.616,"endTime":1745.326,"body":"But then they had to, like."},{"startTime":1745.326,"endTime":1747.412,"body":"Wow, their stories not."},{"startTime":1747.412,"endTime":1748.621,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1748.621,"endTime":1751.082,"body":"With their story"},{"startTime":1748.621,"endTime":1751.082,"body":"and, like, rasputin's the best,"},{"startTime":1751.082,"endTime":1754.169,"body":"because he had that whole minimalist,"},{"startTime":1751.082,"endTime":1754.169,"body":"like, outfit thing."},{"startTime":1754.169,"endTime":1755.879,"body":"He just wear a robe. Was he?"},{"startTime":1755.879,"endTime":1758.173,"body":"This is Sarah,"},{"startTime":1755.879,"endTime":1758.173,"body":"I forget how they found him."},{"startTime":1758.173,"endTime":1761.176,"body":"I think he sold himself"},{"startTime":1758.173,"endTime":1761.176,"body":"as, like, a. Yeah, like a healer."},{"startTime":1761.176,"endTime":1761.801,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":1761.801,"endTime":1763.762,"body":"Alexis the son. Right."},{"startTime":1763.762,"endTime":1765.18,"body":"So the whole thing was they need a sign."},{"startTime":1765.18,"endTime":1766.431,"body":"Mm hmm. Daughters."},{"startTime":1766.431,"endTime":1767.766,"body":"And then they finally had a son"},{"startTime":1767.766,"endTime":1770.435,"body":"who was, like, a hemophiliac,"},{"startTime":1767.766,"endTime":1770.435,"body":"which you may as well be gay."},{"startTime":1770.435,"endTime":1771.978,"body":"I can't think of anything."},{"startTime":1771.978,"endTime":1776.483,"body":"And so then he was so unhealthy"},{"startTime":1771.978,"endTime":1776.483,"body":"that all the lineage rested on him, Right?"},{"startTime":1776.483,"endTime":1777.4,"body":"Oh, right."},{"startTime":1777.4,"endTime":1780.528,"body":"Constantly sick, like,"},{"startTime":1777.4,"endTime":1780.528,"body":"had to be put down, feverish, sick"},{"startTime":1780.528,"endTime":1781.112,"body":"and all that kind of shit."},{"startTime":1781.112,"endTime":1784.908,"body":"So delicate that somewhere in there"},{"startTime":1781.112,"endTime":1784.908,"body":"Rasputin was called in"},{"startTime":1784.908,"endTime":1789.037,"body":"and was like,"},{"startTime":1784.908,"endTime":1789.037,"body":"the only thing that could heal the kid."},{"startTime":1789.287,"endTime":1793.041,"body":"Huh? And also the mother was sold hook,"},{"startTime":1789.287,"endTime":1793.041,"body":"line and sinker that this was"},{"startTime":1793.041,"endTime":1795.668,"body":"the only guy that could help her"},{"startTime":1793.041,"endTime":1795.668,"body":"kid. Uh huh."},{"startTime":1795.668,"endTime":1798.296,"body":"So she bought into this stuff."},{"startTime":1798.296,"endTime":1800.548,"body":"So it was kind of like"},{"startTime":1798.296,"endTime":1800.548,"body":"he was in there working."},{"startTime":1800.548,"endTime":1801.841,"body":"But then people started thinking"},{"startTime":1801.841,"endTime":1805.595,"body":"that he was like, manipulating theory"},{"startTime":1801.841,"endTime":1805.595,"body":"or had entranced the Czarina."},{"startTime":1805.804,"endTime":1807.388,"body":"Ooh, I like that. Exactly."},{"startTime":1807.388,"endTime":1810.391,"body":"So then he grew because this was back"},{"startTime":1807.388,"endTime":1810.391,"body":"in the day when they were like."},{"startTime":1810.475,"endTime":1812.769,"body":"I'm surprised"},{"startTime":1810.475,"endTime":1812.769,"body":"they didn't put leeches all over him."},{"startTime":1812.769,"endTime":1815.355,"body":"Just people love that they did that."},{"startTime":1812.769,"endTime":1815.355,"body":"That was the thing."},{"startTime":1815.355,"endTime":1817.065,"body":"After all, items were exhausted."},{"startTime":1817.065,"endTime":1819.859,"body":"Rasputin was the only thing he would like."},{"startTime":1817.065,"endTime":1819.859,"body":"Hypnotize the kid."},{"startTime":1819.859,"endTime":1820.443,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":1820.443,"endTime":1822.57,"body":"You know,"},{"startTime":1820.443,"endTime":1822.57,"body":"he would use, like, mints or whatever."},{"startTime":1822.57,"endTime":1825.573,"body":"Hmm. So everybody thought he,"},{"startTime":1822.57,"endTime":1825.573,"body":"like, bewitched her."},{"startTime":1825.657,"endTime":1826.074,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":1826.074,"endTime":1829.077,"body":"But then he would go out in the brothels"},{"startTime":1826.074,"endTime":1829.077,"body":"and just get hammered in like,"},{"startTime":1829.077,"endTime":1830.411,"body":"we like this dog."},{"startTime":1830.411,"endTime":1831.454,"body":"Yeah. Oh, of course."},{"startTime":1831.454,"endTime":1835.25,"body":"In those days, everybody thought that"},{"startTime":1831.454,"endTime":1835.25,"body":"the Czar and Tsarina were like, God chosen"},{"startTime":1835.792,"endTime":1836.709,"body":"people. Mm hmm."},{"startTime":1837.877,"endTime":1838.753,"body":"So then that flew"},{"startTime":1838.753,"endTime":1841.756,"body":"in the face of their, Like God, like."},{"startTime":1841.798,"endTime":1843.716,"body":"Oh, because they have a wizard."},{"startTime":1843.716,"endTime":1845.009,"body":"Saving their kid."},{"startTime":1845.009,"endTime":1849.18,"body":"People inside"},{"startTime":1845.009,"endTime":1849.18,"body":"the palace were working against the family"},{"startTime":1849.18,"endTime":1850.974,"body":"because just of that alone."},{"startTime":1850.974,"endTime":1851.641,"body":"Uh huh."},{"startTime":1851.641,"endTime":1855.436,"body":"Then the World war going on"},{"startTime":1851.641,"endTime":1855.436,"body":"was where the public fell against them."},{"startTime":1855.478,"endTime":1855.937,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":1855.937,"endTime":1857.981,"body":"So there were lots of things"},{"startTime":1855.937,"endTime":1857.981,"body":"that led to the fall rescue,"},{"startTime":1857.981,"endTime":1860.817,"body":"which was kind of wire"},{"startTime":1857.981,"endTime":1860.817,"body":"fell down from the inside. Well."},{"startTime":1860.817,"endTime":1862.944,"body":"He's gonna saying they tried to kill him,"},{"startTime":1860.817,"endTime":1862.944,"body":"like, 100 different times."},{"startTime":1862.944,"endTime":1863.57,"body":"You heard that?"},{"startTime":1863.57,"endTime":1865.363,"body":"No, they tried to stab him."},{"startTime":1865.363,"endTime":1867.115,"body":"Poison him, shoot him."},{"startTime":1867.115,"endTime":1869.826,"body":"Uh huh. He's running away from the palace."},{"startTime":1869.826,"endTime":1873.288,"body":"He jumps in a river off a bridge"},{"startTime":1869.826,"endTime":1873.288,"body":"because they're chasing the guards,"},{"startTime":1874.33,"endTime":1878.877,"body":"and he doesn't die from any of the poison,"},{"startTime":1874.33,"endTime":1878.877,"body":"stab wounds or bullets he dies from."},{"startTime":1879.002,"endTime":1881.087,"body":"He doesn't even drown in hypothermia."},{"startTime":1881.087,"endTime":1883.256,"body":"Oh, amazing. Then he drowns."},{"startTime":1883.256,"endTime":1885.508,"body":"Wow. Incredible."},{"startTime":1885.508,"endTime":1888.052,"body":"He thinks he really wants to win. Sure."},{"startTime":1888.052,"endTime":1889.721,"body":"But he's just wearing this, like,"},{"startTime":1888.052,"endTime":1889.721,"body":"long black robe."},{"startTime":1889.721,"endTime":1891.89,"body":"That's a kind of like old man is."},{"startTime":1889.721,"endTime":1891.89,"body":"I want to."},{"startTime":1891.89,"endTime":1894.35,"body":"I was thinking about you. wearing a cape?"},{"startTime":1894.35,"endTime":1896.227,"body":"I feel like look great in one."},{"startTime":1896.227,"endTime":1898.855,"body":"But I look great in the Cape."},{"startTime":1898.855,"endTime":1901.524,"body":"We might have to bring it back."},{"startTime":1898.855,"endTime":1901.524,"body":"Both of us."},{"startTime":1901.524,"endTime":1902.984,"body":"Uh, one moment."},{"startTime":1902.984,"endTime":1906.029,"body":"But it seems like When King Charles or."},{"startTime":1906.07,"endTime":1908.281,"body":"I can't get used to. That or any."},{"startTime":1906.07,"endTime":1908.281,"body":"But I mean."},{"startTime":1908.281,"endTime":1912.744,"body":"Okay, well, well, but for a tribe"},{"startTime":1908.281,"endTime":1912.744,"body":"that allegedly, pushes their feelings down"},{"startTime":1912.744,"endTime":1916.706,"body":"and everything everything they say"},{"startTime":1912.744,"endTime":1916.706,"body":"sounds like they're wearing a cape."},{"startTime":1916.706,"endTime":1920.168,"body":"It sounds so overly dramatic, like, don't"},{"startTime":1920.501,"endTime":1924.255,"body":"you think he says to his sons,"},{"startTime":1920.501,"endTime":1924.255,"body":"don't make my final years of misery. Yes."},{"startTime":1924.255,"endTime":1924.923,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":1924.923,"endTime":1930.011,"body":"And in Kate Middleton was saying,"},{"startTime":1924.923,"endTime":1930.011,"body":"Please don't destroy your brother."},{"startTime":1930.011,"endTime":1933.348,"body":"And it's like nobody says destroy in a"},{"startTime":1930.011,"endTime":1933.348,"body":"in real life."},{"startTime":1933.723,"endTime":1935.266,"body":"Medieval scene or."},{"startTime":1935.266,"endTime":1940.063,"body":"Yeah, I honestly when I wear a cape,"},{"startTime":1935.266,"endTime":1940.063,"body":"it's like I really feel like the true me."},{"startTime":1940.355,"endTime":1941.356,"body":"Hmm. Yeah."},{"startTime":1941.356,"endTime":1942.69,"body":"You know how people. They're like,"},{"startTime":1942.69,"endTime":1945.568,"body":"when I'm on stage, I feel like it's"},{"startTime":1942.69,"endTime":1945.568,"body":"the only time I'm happy or."},{"startTime":1945.568,"endTime":1946.152,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":1946.152,"endTime":1947.487,"body":"You know, our music is going,"},{"startTime":1947.487,"endTime":1951.449,"body":"and it's like wearing a black cape"},{"startTime":1947.487,"endTime":1951.449,"body":"with a red inside and a high collar."},{"startTime":1951.574,"endTime":1952.867,"body":"Mm hmm. Couldn't be happier."},{"startTime":1952.867,"endTime":1954.118,"body":"Well, you could be a magician."},{"startTime":1954.118,"endTime":1955.995,"body":"No, that's why you have to get the high."},{"startTime":1955.995,"endTime":1956.955,"body":"Oh, okay."},{"startTime":1956.955,"endTime":1959.374,"body":"High point. You want to look only vampire."},{"startTime":1959.374,"endTime":1960.124,"body":"Oh, okay."},{"startTime":1960.124,"endTime":1962.71,"body":"Here's the problem"},{"startTime":1960.124,"endTime":1962.71,"body":"with being a male in your forties."},{"startTime":1962.71,"endTime":1965.463,"body":"Is that anything with shoulder pads,"},{"startTime":1962.71,"endTime":1965.463,"body":"you look like a magician."},{"startTime":1965.463,"endTime":1967.256,"body":"Anything. Uh."},{"startTime":1967.256,"endTime":1968.424,"body":"I was wearing a blazer for dinner,"},{"startTime":1968.424,"endTime":1972.261,"body":"and I turn the corner and they start"},{"startTime":1968.424,"endTime":1972.261,"body":"clapping and fucking pull a rabbit out of."},{"startTime":1974.222,"endTime":1975.014,"body":"I couldn't believe it."},{"startTime":1975.014,"endTime":1978.017,"body":"And they can clap. Oh, yeah. I look like."},{"startTime":1978.393,"endTime":1979.394,"body":"Wait a second."},{"startTime":1979.394,"endTime":1980.895,"body":"Were you wearing a cape or."},{"startTime":1980.895,"endTime":1983.898,"body":"No, no, just shoulder pads. Yeah. Wow."},{"startTime":1984.315,"endTime":1985.817,"body":"Were you at the Magic Castle?"},{"startTime":1985.817,"endTime":1987.485,"body":"Because maybe it's not his fault."},{"startTime":1987.485,"endTime":1990.446,"body":"Have you. Been? Yes."},{"startTime":1990.446,"endTime":1991.489,"body":"Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":1991.489,"endTime":1993.908,"body":"Gear was I"},{"startTime":1993.908,"endTime":1995.868,"body":"you assholes listened to."},{"startTime":1995.868,"endTime":1999.747,"body":"So I find out"},{"startTime":1995.868,"endTime":1999.747,"body":"that the new book is in here, so."},{"startTime":1999.789,"endTime":2000.373,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":2000.373,"endTime":2002.375,"body":"I feel like I was there, wasn't I?"},{"startTime":2002.375,"endTime":2004.919,"body":"There for, like, a stand up show,"},{"startTime":2002.375,"endTime":2004.919,"body":"you know? You know what?"},{"startTime":2004.919,"endTime":2005.628,"body":"Both of you."},{"startTime":2005.628,"endTime":2006.796,"body":"Both of you."},{"startTime":2006.796,"endTime":2007.714,"body":"Both of you."},{"startTime":2007.714,"endTime":2010.717,"body":"Young, nasty brats."},{"startTime":2010.842,"endTime":2016.18,"body":"I was in the parking lot"},{"startTime":2010.842,"endTime":2016.18,"body":"because we did a show with Tammy Jo."},{"startTime":2016.222,"endTime":2017.557,"body":"Oh, Pandemic, right?"},{"startTime":2017.557,"endTime":2020.56,"body":"Yeah. Okay, So everybody get off me."},{"startTime":2020.727,"endTime":2021.602,"body":"Just come up today."},{"startTime":2021.602,"endTime":2023.479,"body":"way. Okay,"},{"startTime":2021.602,"endTime":2023.479,"body":"but did you go inside the castle?"},{"startTime":2023.479,"endTime":2026.399,"body":"I feel like I was in the lobby, wasn't I?"},{"startTime":2026.399,"endTime":2028.943,"body":"Okay, now you think it's really funny."},{"startTime":2028.943,"endTime":2032.572,"body":"Geir Garret sitting here"},{"startTime":2028.943,"endTime":2032.572,"body":"laughing, like, is she going to be able"},{"startTime":2032.572,"endTime":2035.45,"body":"to figure out where she was last year?"},{"startTime":2032.572,"endTime":2035.45,"body":"Okay, fine."},{"startTime":2035.45,"endTime":2038.369,"body":"I think Prince Harry and see, Prince"},{"startTime":2035.45,"endTime":2038.369,"body":"Harry is just like Prince"},{"startTime":2038.369,"endTime":2041.039,"body":"Charles will always be called that"},{"startTime":2038.369,"endTime":2041.039,"body":"no matter what. They're fucking Tiger."},{"startTime":2041.039,"endTime":2041.956,"body":"Oh, right, right, right."},{"startTime":2041.956,"endTime":2043.374,"body":"I think they're hilarious"},{"startTime":2043.374,"endTime":2047.42,"body":"because their whole thing was"},{"startTime":2043.374,"endTime":2047.42,"body":"they want to be, like, kind of left alone."},{"startTime":2047.628,"endTime":2048.296,"body":"Right, Right."},{"startTime":2048.296,"endTime":2053.509,"body":"They never stop talking about"},{"startTime":2048.296,"endTime":2053.509,"body":"fuckin podcast and they interview Oprah."},{"startTime":2053.509,"endTime":2054.427,"body":"Oh, right."},{"startTime":2054.427,"endTime":2057.263,"body":"And the worst was the interview"},{"startTime":2054.427,"endTime":2057.263,"body":"with Anderson Cooper."},{"startTime":2057.263,"endTime":2059.474,"body":"I didn't see. That."},{"startTime":2057.263,"endTime":2059.474,"body":"Oh, it's the movie. And he's fine."},{"startTime":2059.474,"endTime":2061.392,"body":"But like,"},{"startTime":2059.474,"endTime":2061.392,"body":"the two things that are happening in"},{"startTime":2061.392,"endTime":2064.645,"body":"that conversation is a Anderson Cooper's"},{"startTime":2061.392,"endTime":2064.645,"body":"a gay man."},{"startTime":2065.396,"endTime":2068.357,"body":"It's crazy hard on for dead"},{"startTime":2065.396,"endTime":2068.357,"body":"Princess Diana, which all gay men."},{"startTime":2068.524,"endTime":2069.15,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":2069.15,"endTime":2071.986,"body":"He also has a crazy heart, um, for her"},{"startTime":2069.15,"endTime":2071.986,"body":"leaving gorgeous son, Prince Harry."},{"startTime":2071.986,"endTime":2072.153,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":2072.153,"endTime":2076.657,"body":"So he's mocking her weird middle ground"},{"startTime":2072.153,"endTime":2076.657,"body":"where he's, like, giddy."},{"startTime":2076.908,"endTime":2079.285,"body":"Yeah. GROSS Right."},{"startTime":2079.285,"endTime":2082.663,"body":"You know, because first of all, Prince"},{"startTime":2079.285,"endTime":2082.663,"body":"Harry is, like, kind of handsome, right?"},{"startTime":2082.705,"endTime":2086.542,"body":"I don't know if I've ever liked him"},{"startTime":2082.705,"endTime":2086.542,"body":"one way or the other, but I decidedly did"},{"startTime":2086.542,"endTime":2090.421,"body":"not like him when he abandoned"},{"startTime":2086.542,"endTime":2090.421,"body":"Kathy Griffin."},{"startTime":2090.505,"endTime":2093.424,"body":"Oh, precisely. And I'm so happy"},{"startTime":2090.505,"endTime":2093.424,"body":"she's back."},{"startTime":2093.424,"endTime":2094.342,"body":"I don't even back."},{"startTime":2094.342,"endTime":2095.718,"body":"Yeah, it shows again."},{"startTime":2095.718,"endTime":2097.053,"body":"Yeah, Yeah, that's the thing."},{"startTime":2097.053,"endTime":2100.264,"body":"Game. in media. Yeah. Ah, so."},{"startTime":2100.306,"endTime":2102.683,"body":"And I understand because gay"},{"startTime":2100.306,"endTime":2102.683,"body":"men are so afraid, You know what I mean?"},{"startTime":2102.683,"endTime":2105.686,"body":"Like, anything could fall apart and, like,"},{"startTime":2102.683,"endTime":2105.686,"body":"because nobody likes us."},{"startTime":2105.728,"endTime":2108.189,"body":"But it's that kind of betrayal"},{"startTime":2105.728,"endTime":2108.189,"body":"where you're like, Hello?"},{"startTime":2108.189,"endTime":2109.524,"body":"she's your gateway."},{"startTime":2109.524,"endTime":2111.859,"body":"Yeah, she's your."},{"startTime":2109.524,"endTime":2111.859,"body":"Yeah, she's your personality."},{"startTime":2111.859,"endTime":2113.402,"body":"Yeah. It's not the other way around."},{"startTime":2113.402,"endTime":2115.78,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2113.402,"endTime":2115.78,"body":"You need her more than she needs you."},{"startTime":2115.78,"endTime":2118.366,"body":"Yeah, we're just the balls listeners."},{"startTime":2118.366,"endTime":2120.284,"body":"Uh, in that moment,"},{"startTime":2120.284,"endTime":2124.33,"body":"I thought her with the fucking Trump"},{"startTime":2120.284,"endTime":2124.33,"body":"mask was a spectacular moment."},{"startTime":2124.497,"endTime":2125.748,"body":"Hmm. Genius."},{"startTime":2126.749,"endTime":2128.042,"body":"See, I don't think."},{"startTime":2128.042,"endTime":2130.128,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":2128.042,"endTime":2130.128,"body":"I don't think that was a genius thing."},{"startTime":2130.128,"endTime":2131.045,"body":"I think that."},{"startTime":2131.045,"endTime":2132.588,"body":"Strategic. No, no."},{"startTime":2132.588,"endTime":2137.093,"body":"But I mean, I think it was"},{"startTime":2132.588,"endTime":2137.093,"body":"kind of impulsive, if anything, you know."},{"startTime":2137.426,"endTime":2139.637,"body":"amateur and impulsive. Yeah."},{"startTime":2139.637,"endTime":2142.39,"body":"But that's what that time was like. Right."},{"startTime":2142.39,"endTime":2143.808,"body":"Still couldn't handle that."},{"startTime":2143.808,"endTime":2145.393,"body":"He was gonna be the president."},{"startTime":2145.393,"endTime":2145.893,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":2145.893,"endTime":2148.729,"body":"And he's a horrible person,"},{"startTime":2145.893,"endTime":2148.729,"body":"so just watching it in action."},{"startTime":2148.729,"endTime":2148.938,"body":"All right?"},{"startTime":2148.938,"endTime":2150.439,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":2150.439,"endTime":2152.692,"body":"I loved it coming from her. Right."},{"startTime":2152.692,"endTime":2154.694,"body":"That held up a bloody hand. Yeah, Like."},{"startTime":2154.694,"endTime":2159.448,"body":"People don't like her, so it was tripled"},{"startTime":2154.694,"endTime":2159.448,"body":"the amount of hate that came her way."},{"startTime":2159.448,"endTime":2160.825,"body":"Yeah, Yeah, that was too much."},{"startTime":2160.825,"endTime":2165.121,"body":"And I think it was, especially him"},{"startTime":2160.825,"endTime":2165.121,"body":"being a rapist on top of everything else."},{"startTime":2165.121,"endTime":2167.832,"body":"it's like. Don't give him any ammunition."},{"startTime":2165.121,"endTime":2167.832,"body":"Right, Right."},{"startTime":2167.832,"endTime":2172.545,"body":"It's like, don't give his fucking sick"},{"startTime":2167.832,"endTime":2172.545,"body":"breed of followers something else to burn."},{"startTime":2172.712,"endTime":2175.715,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":2172.712,"endTime":2175.715,"body":"Because she's perfect for them. Yeah."},{"startTime":2175.756,"endTime":2176.966,"body":"Light on fire, right?"},{"startTime":2176.966,"endTime":2180.136,"body":"No, Kathy Griffin is singularly"},{"startTime":2176.966,"endTime":2180.136,"body":"is like her whole thing in Survivor."},{"startTime":2180.344,"endTime":2182.555,"body":"Yeah, right. Like,"},{"startTime":2180.344,"endTime":2182.555,"body":"pull yourself out of her own fire."},{"startTime":2187.476,"endTime":2189.312,"body":"I went antiquing, and."},{"startTime":2189.312,"endTime":2191.022,"body":"I'm so damn jealous."},{"startTime":2191.022,"endTime":2194.817,"body":"I can't even fall in Freud"},{"startTime":2191.022,"endTime":2194.817,"body":"on how I feel about that."},{"startTime":2194.817,"endTime":2195.651,"body":"I have to just."},{"startTime":2195.651,"endTime":2196.611,"body":"You have to."},{"startTime":2196.611,"endTime":2198.905,"body":"Not in Freud, have you on that one."},{"startTime":2198.905,"endTime":2201.908,"body":"And that makes me schadenfreude. Right."},{"startTime":2201.949,"endTime":2204.869,"body":"Compulsion for me that gives me the shot."},{"startTime":2204.869,"endTime":2205.411,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2205.411,"endTime":2208.206,"body":"So I went to a huge"},{"startTime":2205.411,"endTime":2208.206,"body":"antique store in Nashville."},{"startTime":2208.206,"endTime":2208.664,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":2208.664,"endTime":2211.334,"body":"And it's really exclusively"},{"startTime":2208.664,"endTime":2211.334,"body":"to the Carolinas."},{"startTime":2211.334,"endTime":2214.086,"body":"Oh. Is he southern or is he okay?"},{"startTime":2214.086,"endTime":2215.796,"body":"Oh, geez."},{"startTime":2215.796,"endTime":2217.34,"body":"Oh, is that Carolina?"},{"startTime":2217.34,"endTime":2219.717,"body":"Oh, okay. Everybody gay?"},{"startTime":2219.717,"endTime":2220.635,"body":"Because they'll just be talking"},{"startTime":2220.635,"endTime":2223.638,"body":"and all of a sudden they're like,"},{"startTime":2220.635,"endTime":2223.638,"body":"got down with that nice."},{"startTime":2224.222,"endTime":2225.097,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":2225.097,"endTime":2227.225,"body":"I think he's gay,"},{"startTime":2227.225,"endTime":2227.558,"body":"though."},{"startTime":2227.558,"endTime":2228.935,"body":"First of all, it's a huge antique store,"},{"startTime":2228.935,"endTime":2231.062,"body":"and you wouldn't know how big it was"},{"startTime":2228.935,"endTime":2231.062,"body":"from the outside. Mm hmm."},{"startTime":2231.062,"endTime":2234.232,"body":"But then once you get in"},{"startTime":2231.062,"endTime":2234.232,"body":"and it's like I'm talking, like, Disney"},{"startTime":2234.482,"endTime":2238.611,"body":"glass figurines from the fifties"},{"startTime":2234.482,"endTime":2238.611,"body":"behind a glass case."},{"startTime":2238.611,"endTime":2239.07,"body":"Kind of."},{"startTime":2239.07,"endTime":2239.987,"body":"Oh, okay."},{"startTime":2239.987,"endTime":2240.446,"body":"Really?"},{"startTime":2240.446,"endTime":2243.241,"body":"Old piece of furniture, princess Diana."},{"startTime":2243.241,"endTime":2244.909,"body":"Magazines like that."},{"startTime":2244.909,"endTime":2246.285,"body":"What magazines were like."},{"startTime":2246.285,"endTime":2248.246,"body":"But just everything. Mm hmm."},{"startTime":2248.246,"endTime":2250.706,"body":"And I found a bell. That the window?"},{"startTime":2250.706,"endTime":2253.501,"body":"Mm hmm. It's a music box."},{"startTime":2250.706,"endTime":2253.501,"body":"Mm hmm. The rings."},{"startTime":2253.501,"endTime":2254.669,"body":"And so when they turn."},{"startTime":2254.669,"endTime":2257.463,"body":"Oh, I can't believe you found this"},{"startTime":2254.669,"endTime":2257.463,"body":"with two country bears."},{"startTime":2257.463,"endTime":2258.047,"body":"That work."},{"startTime":2259.757,"endTime":2261.3,"body":"Country bears."},{"startTime":2261.3,"endTime":2263.594,"body":"One of them is eating"},{"startTime":2263.594,"endTime":2265.68,"body":"I walked in the salad,"},{"startTime":2265.68,"endTime":2269.016,"body":"and when I got to the register,"},{"startTime":2265.68,"endTime":2269.016,"body":"he was still eating potato salad, and."},{"startTime":2269.267,"endTime":2272.27,"body":"And it's on to go"},{"startTime":2273.729,"endTime":2275.564,"body":"over how he found that bell."},{"startTime":2275.564,"endTime":2277.525,"body":"And then the other one"},{"startTime":2275.564,"endTime":2277.525,"body":"just, you know, it's not a bell."},{"startTime":2277.525,"endTime":2279.777,"body":"Like I'm holding"},{"startTime":2279.777,"endTime":2281.195,"body":"my. Mm hmm."},{"startTime":2281.195,"endTime":2282.071,"body":"And then they sell me."},{"startTime":2282.071,"endTime":2285.95,"body":"They're like, it's made by"},{"startTime":2282.071,"endTime":2285.95,"body":"and I have to turn to sterling Silver."},{"startTime":2286.117,"endTime":2286.742,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":2286.742,"endTime":2289.161,"body":"And I don't know what spices I get."},{"startTime":2286.742,"endTime":2289.161,"body":"What is stuff? And they go."},{"startTime":2289.161,"endTime":2290.454,"body":"They make teddy bears."},{"startTime":2290.454,"endTime":2291.622,"body":"Know it."},{"startTime":2291.622,"endTime":2294.417,"body":"Live until you've heard of fuckin"},{"startTime":2291.622,"endTime":2294.417,"body":"Carolina Gay bear."},{"startTime":2294.417,"endTime":2297.461,"body":"Say, teddy. Bear. Oh, amazing. Amazing."},{"startTime":2297.712,"endTime":2298.546,"body":"It was great."},{"startTime":2298.546,"endTime":2301.382,"body":"I was like, I couldn't"},{"startTime":2298.546,"endTime":2301.382,"body":"tell if they wanted to fuck me, sell me"},{"startTime":2301.382,"endTime":2304.969,"body":"something or vote against me"},{"startTime":2301.382,"endTime":2304.969,"body":"because I'm gay and they're not."},{"startTime":2304.969,"endTime":2305.97,"body":"You know."},{"startTime":2305.97,"endTime":2307.513,"body":"I think you are in good company."},{"startTime":2307.513,"endTime":2310.558,"body":"I think they liked you, and I think"},{"startTime":2307.513,"endTime":2310.558,"body":"they were probably Southern gay. So."},{"startTime":2310.975,"endTime":2311.976,"body":"So do you think that"},{"startTime":2312.977,"endTime":2315.98,"body":"Goldilocks and the Three Bears."},{"startTime":2316.23,"endTime":2317.815,"body":"Let's talk about. It."},{"startTime":2317.815,"endTime":2320.818,"body":"This is the vision in their antique store,"},{"startTime":2317.815,"endTime":2320.818,"body":"right?"},{"startTime":2321.235,"endTime":2322.153,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":2322.153,"endTime":2323.779,"body":"Like,"},{"startTime":2322.153,"endTime":2323.779,"body":"are you going to buy something or get out?"},{"startTime":2323.779,"endTime":2324.989,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":2324.989,"endTime":2328.117,"body":"And she and the three bears"},{"startTime":2324.989,"endTime":2328.117,"body":"were just upset that she, like,"},{"startTime":2328.284,"endTime":2331.287,"body":"kind of messed up"},{"startTime":2328.284,"endTime":2331.287,"body":"the pillows on their bed."},{"startTime":2332.163,"endTime":2335.249,"body":"Yeah, she flattened the pillows"},{"startTime":2332.163,"endTime":2335.249,"body":"on our Victorian sofa."},{"startTime":2335.291,"endTime":2337.918,"body":"Mm hmm. I think it's."},{"startTime":2335.291,"endTime":2337.918,"body":"I think you found it. Yeah. Right."},{"startTime":2337.918,"endTime":2340.838,"body":"She just kept touching all the shit"},{"startTime":2337.918,"endTime":2340.838,"body":"and then left without buying anything."},{"startTime":2340.838,"endTime":2343.841,"body":"Yeah. Or passed out in the baby"},{"startTime":2340.838,"endTime":2343.841,"body":"bear's bed."},{"startTime":2344.05,"endTime":2346.469,"body":"And then in those doors. Right."},{"startTime":2346.469,"endTime":2347.803,"body":"It really was one of those things."},{"startTime":2347.803,"endTime":2351.599,"body":"It was like if the power went out,"},{"startTime":2347.803,"endTime":2351.599,"body":"I would be fucked Well, over an hour,"},{"startTime":2351.599,"endTime":2352.641,"body":"more on my way out."},{"startTime":2352.641,"endTime":2353.976,"body":"Wow. I want."},{"startTime":2353.976,"endTime":2355.853,"body":"Did you take a photo of any of that stuff?"},{"startTime":2355.853,"endTime":2357.146,"body":"I mean, no, I."},{"startTime":2357.146,"endTime":2358.314,"body":"I have to go back there."},{"startTime":2358.314,"endTime":2360.066,"body":"Well, I don't know why"},{"startTime":2358.314,"endTime":2360.066,"body":"I'm talking about her so much,"},{"startTime":2360.066,"endTime":2362.818,"body":"but there was, like, a real Princess"},{"startTime":2360.066,"endTime":2362.818,"body":"Diana. Like a doll."},{"startTime":2362.818,"endTime":2363.235,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":2363.235,"endTime":2365.988,"body":"And there were, like,"},{"startTime":2363.235,"endTime":2365.988,"body":"every toy you've ever come across."},{"startTime":2365.988,"endTime":2366.781,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":2366.781,"endTime":2368.616,"body":"And she was, like, all in it."},{"startTime":2368.616,"endTime":2370.493,"body":"They're all playboys, huh?"},{"startTime":2370.493,"endTime":2373.871,"body":"Jessica Hahn Cheese,"},{"startTime":2370.493,"endTime":2373.871,"body":"Which I wanted to buy."},{"startTime":2373.871,"endTime":2374.705,"body":"But every time it's like."},{"startTime":2374.705,"endTime":2375.039,"body":"I see."},{"startTime":2375.039,"endTime":2376.248,"body":"I hate to possess porn"},{"startTime":2376.248,"endTime":2377.792,"body":"because I feel like I'm"},{"startTime":2376.248,"endTime":2377.792,"body":"going to be in an accident,"},{"startTime":2377.792,"endTime":2380.086,"body":"and then that's going to be"},{"startTime":2377.792,"endTime":2380.086,"body":"the major identifier."},{"startTime":2380.086,"endTime":2382.671,"body":"Yeah, And then everybody."},{"startTime":2380.086,"endTime":2382.671,"body":"Oh, my God, He was straight."},{"startTime":2384.006,"endTime":2386.05,"body":"Jesus, What a phony."},{"startTime":2386.05,"endTime":2387.051,"body":"I Okay."},{"startTime":2387.051,"endTime":2390.513,"body":"I got the host for Hemophiliacs,"},{"startTime":2387.051,"endTime":2390.513,"body":"which was an amazing job once,"},{"startTime":2390.554,"endTime":2393.891,"body":"and he is a strange"},{"startTime":2390.554,"endTime":2393.891,"body":"but sure complementary way."},{"startTime":2394.642,"endTime":2397.436,"body":"And he's very professional on"},{"startTime":2394.642,"endTime":2397.436,"body":"and not light"},{"startTime":2397.436,"endTime":2400.523,"body":"on conversation but is aloof. Hmm."},{"startTime":2400.898,"endTime":2402.149,"body":"He's really into his wig."},{"startTime":2402.149,"endTime":2404.026,"body":"Oh, my God. His hair."},{"startTime":2404.026,"endTime":2404.318,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2404.318,"endTime":2406.779,"body":"No, but he kind of does the same set"},{"startTime":2404.318,"endTime":2406.779,"body":"every night."},{"startTime":2406.779,"endTime":2407.863,"body":"He plays with the audience a little bit."},{"startTime":2407.863,"endTime":2411.909,"body":"Uh, you know, sick show,"},{"startTime":2407.863,"endTime":2411.909,"body":"last show of the whole run."},{"startTime":2412.076,"endTime":2413.702,"body":"And he gets up and he never called."},{"startTime":2413.702,"endTime":2416.664,"body":"Said anything about I was a host. Hmm."},{"startTime":2416.664,"endTime":2421.127,"body":"Give it up for whoever the feature was"},{"startTime":2416.664,"endTime":2421.127,"body":"and give it up for your host, Daniel."},{"startTime":2421.127,"endTime":2424.13,"body":"And was offices and everything."},{"startTime":2421.127,"endTime":2424.13,"body":"And he was."},{"startTime":2424.63,"endTime":2428.509,"body":"What if Daniel wasn't gay"},{"startTime":2424.63,"endTime":2428.509,"body":"and then nobody said anything else he was."},{"startTime":2428.634,"endTime":2432.179,"body":"That would be"},{"startTime":2428.634,"endTime":2432.179,"body":"the most offensive act in history."},{"startTime":2432.221,"endTime":2433.472,"body":"Ha ha ha ha ha ha."},{"startTime":2433.472,"endTime":2434.682,"body":"I hit the floor."},{"startTime":2434.682,"endTime":2437.351,"body":"I was like, What if I was just"},{"startTime":2434.682,"endTime":2437.351,"body":"appropriating the whole culture?"},{"startTime":2437.351,"endTime":2439.061,"body":"Right, Right."},{"startTime":2439.061,"endTime":2440.271,"body":"I want that to be my scandal."},{"startTime":2440.271,"endTime":2441.397,"body":"That's amazing."},{"startTime":2441.397,"endTime":2445.151,"body":"They found there was like, does Michael"},{"startTime":2441.397,"endTime":2445.151,"body":"Jackson sleep in an oxygen tank?"},{"startTime":2445.234,"endTime":2446.026,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":2446.026,"endTime":2448.779,"body":"But, like,"},{"startTime":2446.026,"endTime":2448.779,"body":"there's Daniel Webster next to a woman,"},{"startTime":2450.531,"endTime":2453.367,"body":"and there's, like,"},{"startTime":2450.531,"endTime":2453.367,"body":"this weird National Enquirer photo, like,"},{"startTime":2453.367,"endTime":2456.954,"body":"through a window of me"},{"startTime":2453.367,"endTime":2456.954,"body":"just in, like, fully clothed next door."},{"startTime":2457.621,"endTime":2460.624,"body":"he's. Right winger."},{"startTime":2460.666,"endTime":2461.375,"body":"That would be."},{"startTime":2461.375,"endTime":2462.251,"body":"That would totally be."},{"startTime":2462.251,"endTime":2465.254,"body":"No one would think"},{"startTime":2462.251,"endTime":2465.254,"body":"that would be strange for me. But"},{"startTime":2466.046,"endTime":2466.881,"body":"they said."},{"startTime":2466.881,"endTime":2469.884,"body":"Oh, yeah, yeah,"},{"startTime":2466.881,"endTime":2469.884,"body":"that was like my life in college."},{"startTime":2469.925,"endTime":2472.344,"body":"The, uh, I was going to say that"},{"startTime":2472.344,"endTime":2476.807,"body":"Michael Jackson, the oxygen thing,"},{"startTime":2472.344,"endTime":2476.807,"body":"I think he was in an oxygen oxygen."},{"startTime":2476.807,"endTime":2479.685,"body":"I'll forget"},{"startTime":2476.807,"endTime":2479.685,"body":"I was and say like in a children's ward"},{"startTime":2479.685,"endTime":2482.188,"body":"four in the ICU, but that was it."},{"startTime":2482.188,"endTime":2483.856,"body":"It wasn't a tanning bed."},{"startTime":2483.856,"endTime":2486.358,"body":"There is a photo of him"},{"startTime":2483.856,"endTime":2486.358,"body":"sleeping in like a tank."},{"startTime":2486.358,"endTime":2487.318,"body":"Oh, really?"},{"startTime":2487.318,"endTime":2490.112,"body":"Or something? How cool. You ever watch?"},{"startTime":2490.112,"endTime":2492.573,"body":"Do you know anything about Ed Wood"},{"startTime":2490.112,"endTime":2492.573,"body":"or even just."},{"startTime":2492.573,"endTime":2493.824,"body":"A little bit."},{"startTime":2493.824,"endTime":2496.452,"body":"There's the Tim Burton biopic, right?"},{"startTime":2496.452,"endTime":2497.62,"body":"I'm like, Sure."},{"startTime":2497.62,"endTime":2501.54,"body":"Did you ever watch his old, like,"},{"startTime":2497.62,"endTime":2501.54,"body":"plan nine from Outer space or. Uh."},{"startTime":2502.166,"endTime":2504.752,"body":"Yes, I think I've done. I did."},{"startTime":2504.752,"endTime":2508.047,"body":"I did see Plan nine. A long,"},{"startTime":2504.752,"endTime":2508.047,"body":"long time ago."},{"startTime":2508.255,"endTime":2509.965,"body":"Dana Gould has the actual."},{"startTime":2509.965,"endTime":2512.092,"body":"What is it, this UFO?"},{"startTime":2512.092,"endTime":2514.845,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":2512.092,"endTime":2514.845,"body":"And he has Vampire's Fingernail."},{"startTime":2514.845,"endTime":2515.971,"body":"Oh, right."},{"startTime":2515.971,"endTime":2519.35,"body":"Yeah, It was vampire,"},{"startTime":2515.971,"endTime":2519.35,"body":"which is really strange."},{"startTime":2519.433,"endTime":2520.559,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":2520.559,"endTime":2522.269,"body":"Like wide nails."},{"startTime":2522.269,"endTime":2525.523,"body":"But he has a"},{"startTime":2522.269,"endTime":2525.523,"body":"he may have more. Mm hmm. Yeah."},{"startTime":2525.523,"endTime":2527.024,"body":"There's the violent years,"},{"startTime":2527.024,"endTime":2530.152,"body":"which is like, it's"},{"startTime":2527.024,"endTime":2530.152,"body":"a fifties movie about, like, Renegade."},{"startTime":2530.778,"endTime":2533.239,"body":"Oh. And there's one"},{"startTime":2530.778,"endTime":2533.239,"body":"where they. Presumably."},{"startTime":2533.239,"endTime":2538.118,"body":"It's like all these girls as young teens"},{"startTime":2533.239,"endTime":2538.118,"body":"around a guy in a convertible."},{"startTime":2538.244,"endTime":2540.246,"body":"Mm hmm. The segment ends."},{"startTime":2540.246,"endTime":2543.541,"body":"It's like the movies, like four vignettes,"},{"startTime":2540.246,"endTime":2543.541,"body":"but their segment ends with them."},{"startTime":2543.541,"endTime":2545.876,"body":"Like getting vamp."},{"startTime":2545.876,"endTime":2549.713,"body":"Oh. Slowly"},{"startTime":2545.876,"endTime":2549.713,"body":"creep in on the guy in the convertible"},{"startTime":2549.713,"endTime":2553.467,"body":"in broad daylight as it fades to black,"},{"startTime":2549.713,"endTime":2553.467,"body":"where they just suggest"},{"startTime":2553.467,"endTime":2555.844,"body":"that he was sexually assaulted"},{"startTime":2553.467,"endTime":2555.844,"body":"by a band of girls."},{"startTime":2555.844,"endTime":2556.679,"body":"Nice."},{"startTime":2556.679,"endTime":2557.805,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":2557.805,"endTime":2561.517,"body":"What, you know, typically happens"},{"startTime":2557.805,"endTime":2561.517,"body":"in sexual assault cases of gangs of when"},{"startTime":2562.81,"endTime":2564.353,"body":"up. Right?"},{"startTime":2564.353,"endTime":2567.356,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":2570.15,"endTime":2570.442,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":2570.442,"endTime":2574.488,"body":"Daniel, have you ever called into"},{"startTime":2570.442,"endTime":2574.488,"body":"a radio station because you wanted tickets"},{"startTime":2574.572,"endTime":2577.575,"body":"or wanted to win"},{"startTime":2574.572,"endTime":2577.575,"body":"something that they were offering?"},{"startTime":2577.783,"endTime":2579.285,"body":"Is it calling into stations?"},{"startTime":2579.285,"endTime":2581.62,"body":"Old fashioned people still do it, do they?"},{"startTime":2581.62,"endTime":2582.454,"body":"I have no. Idea."},{"startTime":2582.454,"endTime":2585.332,"body":"One of my friends, Stephanie Cox,"},{"startTime":2582.454,"endTime":2585.332,"body":"the first Stephanie Cox ever met."},{"startTime":2585.332,"endTime":2590.713,"body":"She's won Justin"},{"startTime":2585.332,"endTime":2590.713,"body":"Timberlake concert tickets twice."},{"startTime":2590.921,"endTime":2593.09,"body":"Whoa. Into a radio station."},{"startTime":2593.09,"endTime":2594.174,"body":"Mm hmm. My."},{"startTime":2594.174,"endTime":2598.512,"body":"They would call in to the radio station"},{"startTime":2594.174,"endTime":2598.512,"body":"to you could announce the top ten CB,"},{"startTime":2598.512,"endTime":2599.513,"body":"like coming in."},{"startTime":2599.513,"endTime":2601.181,"body":"And this is Daniel from Fort Worth, Texas."},{"startTime":2601.181,"endTime":2603.892,"body":"And coming in at number"},{"startTime":2601.181,"endTime":2603.892,"body":"eight is Cyndi Lauper."},{"startTime":2603.892,"endTime":2605.811,"body":"Right. Oh, my cousin. Got me into it."},{"startTime":2605.811,"endTime":2608.063,"body":"So we were calling to do that."},{"startTime":2605.811,"endTime":2608.063,"body":"But I was too young and stupid."},{"startTime":2608.063,"endTime":2612.109,"body":"I didn't know how many of the bands were"},{"startTime":2608.063,"endTime":2612.109,"body":"so on tape as me saying, Here's Metallica."},{"startTime":2612.401,"endTime":2614.111,"body":"Ha, Fantastic."},{"startTime":2614.111,"endTime":2615.529,"body":"It's like, I can't say that name."},{"startTime":2615.529,"endTime":2618.532,"body":"Oh, that's fantastic. I have. And it was."},{"startTime":2618.907,"endTime":2620.951,"body":"Oh, calling, calling, calling. Brian."},{"startTime":2620.951,"endTime":2622.536,"body":"It would ring right?"},{"startTime":2622.536,"endTime":2623.495,"body":"There's no busy signal."},{"startTime":2623.495,"endTime":2625.623,"body":"Sometimes it just rings into infinity."},{"startTime":2625.623,"endTime":2631.378,"body":"Wow. One, we have to have Paula Abdul"},{"startTime":2625.623,"endTime":2631.378,"body":"on the show because she. Is."},{"startTime":2632.379,"endTime":2635.341,"body":"Well,"},{"startTime":2632.379,"endTime":2635.341,"body":"she's good friends with a friend of ours."},{"startTime":2635.341,"endTime":2638.344,"body":"But God, are you serious? Mm. She just."},{"startTime":2638.636,"endTime":2642.181,"body":"I tagged her in a happy birthday"},{"startTime":2638.636,"endTime":2642.181,"body":"post on Instagram, and she message"},{"startTime":2642.681,"endTime":2647.853,"body":"said things like, uh, Daniel Webb in 1992"},{"startTime":2642.681,"endTime":2647.853,"body":"would have jumped off a cliff."},{"startTime":2647.853,"endTime":2649.313,"body":"That was all I ever needed in life."},{"startTime":2649.313,"endTime":2651.19,"body":"I think he still probably would."},{"startTime":2651.19,"endTime":2652.941,"body":"She's made such an impression."},{"startTime":2652.941,"endTime":2653.901,"body":"She loves you."},{"startTime":2653.901,"endTime":2656.236,"body":"Well,"},{"startTime":2653.901,"endTime":2656.236,"body":"I want my first concert with Paula Abdul,"},{"startTime":2656.236,"endTime":2659.406,"body":"and I made my own pink shirt"},{"startTime":2656.236,"endTime":2659.406,"body":"with all of her songs."},{"startTime":2659.615,"endTime":2660.741,"body":"Titles written all over it."},{"startTime":2660.741,"endTime":2663.786,"body":"How cool do you still Do"},{"startTime":2660.741,"endTime":2663.786,"body":"you still have it?"},{"startTime":2664.161,"endTime":2665.079,"body":"That shirt."},{"startTime":2665.079,"endTime":2667.706,"body":"I think it might be somewhere at home,"},{"startTime":2665.079,"endTime":2667.706,"body":"but I have my concert tickets, so."},{"startTime":2667.706,"endTime":2671.418,"body":"All right, Why don't you have"},{"startTime":2667.706,"endTime":2671.418,"body":"your parents send it out and we'll get I."},{"startTime":2672.002,"endTime":2674.755,"body":"Yeah, I feel like an asshole veejay."},{"startTime":2674.755,"endTime":2676.924,"body":"Like we're going"},{"startTime":2674.755,"endTime":2676.924,"body":"to get her out here. Daniel."},{"startTime":2678.676,"endTime":2679.635,"body":"What a question."},{"startTime":2679.635,"endTime":2681.22,"body":"Have you ever called into?"},{"startTime":2681.22,"endTime":2683.305,"body":"I have. And I have never won it."},{"startTime":2683.305,"endTime":2688.227,"body":"But I remember, when you said that your"},{"startTime":2683.305,"endTime":2688.227,"body":"the prize was you got to read the,"},{"startTime":2688.435,"endTime":2693.524,"body":"you know, the top ten or I won a poetry"},{"startTime":2688.435,"endTime":2693.524,"body":"contest in high school, And the prize was."},{"startTime":2693.524,"endTime":2695.526,"body":"I mean, if you won for best poem."},{"startTime":2695.526,"endTime":2699.53,"body":"What the, local news"},{"startTime":2695.526,"endTime":2699.53,"body":"station would read your poem."},{"startTime":2699.53,"endTime":2702.991,"body":"and I actually had two poems that won,"},{"startTime":2699.53,"endTime":2702.991,"body":"and they did it"},{"startTime":2702.991,"endTime":2706.036,"body":"for like two weeks of kids,"},{"startTime":2702.991,"endTime":2706.036,"body":"different poems, you know, or whatever."},{"startTime":2706.37,"endTime":2709.54,"body":"And I was really happy"},{"startTime":2706.37,"endTime":2709.54,"body":"with the way he read it and everything."},{"startTime":2709.54,"endTime":2712.376,"body":"And I was eating breakfast"},{"startTime":2709.54,"endTime":2712.376,"body":"with my mom and, and we're listening."},{"startTime":2712.376,"endTime":2715.087,"body":"And I said, Well, what do you think?"},{"startTime":2715.087,"endTime":2717.005,"body":"And my mom said, You know, it was good."},{"startTime":2717.005,"endTime":2719.007,"body":"But I think people like poems that rhyme."},{"startTime":2721.677,"endTime":2724.68,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":2725.264,"endTime":2727.433,"body":"Oh, no. Good job."},{"startTime":2727.433,"endTime":2730.436,"body":"You know, you're so talented"},{"startTime":2727.433,"endTime":2730.436,"body":"or at Let's not even fuck"},{"startTime":2730.436,"endTime":2733.689,"body":"with the content of your poem"},{"startTime":2730.436,"endTime":2733.689,"body":"that it didn't write."},{"startTime":2733.981,"endTime":2735.357,"body":"Mm hmm. How'd that make you feel?"},{"startTime":2735.357,"endTime":2738.277,"body":"I was furious because I just thought,"},{"startTime":2735.357,"endTime":2738.277,"body":"you know, first of all,"},{"startTime":2738.277,"endTime":2740.362,"body":"I've always been on some kind of speed"},{"startTime":2738.277,"endTime":2740.362,"body":"or another."},{"startTime":2740.362,"endTime":2744.116,"body":"I was on I was on DEXA Trim,"},{"startTime":2740.362,"endTime":2744.116,"body":"and I wrote that poem in 2 minutes."},{"startTime":2744.241,"endTime":2746.702,"body":"First of all, that shit makes you write."},{"startTime":2746.702,"endTime":2748.871,"body":"That's a trip."},{"startTime":2746.702,"endTime":2748.871,"body":"Or just being any kind of speech."},{"startTime":2748.871,"endTime":2752.249,"body":"You're like, You're fucking Shakespeare"},{"startTime":2748.871,"endTime":2752.249,"body":"at that moment, right?"},{"startTime":2752.666,"endTime":2754.585,"body":"Right. Oscar Wilde."},{"startTime":2754.585,"endTime":2755.627,"body":"Are these bombs?"},{"startTime":2755.627,"endTime":2756.42,"body":"I found them."},{"startTime":2756.42,"endTime":2759.423,"body":"I've actually found"},{"startTime":2756.42,"endTime":2759.423,"body":"because I was putting away some stuff"},{"startTime":2759.423,"endTime":2763.135,"body":"and my mom is pretty much sent me"},{"startTime":2759.423,"endTime":2763.135,"body":"everything that she had saved of mine."},{"startTime":2763.51,"endTime":2766.764,"body":"it's one of the poems was about like a one"},{"startTime":2766.764,"endTime":2769.767,"body":"was about drinking with friends"},{"startTime":2766.764,"endTime":2769.767,"body":"or getting into a car accident."},{"startTime":2771.018,"endTime":2772.686,"body":"Like, don't do this because this."},{"startTime":2772.686,"endTime":2773.52,"body":"One, then maybe."},{"startTime":2773.52,"endTime":2776.523,"body":"No, but it was more like,"},{"startTime":2773.52,"endTime":2776.523,"body":"look out, look. Out."},{"startTime":2777.858,"endTime":2780.611,"body":"Fuck you, fuck you."},{"startTime":2780.611,"endTime":2783.03,"body":"We know we have to have, like, a reading."},{"startTime":2783.03,"endTime":2784.114,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":2784.114,"endTime":2785.032,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":2785.032,"endTime":2786.158,"body":"No, I don't want to get."},{"startTime":2786.158,"endTime":2788.076,"body":"You're so delighted with it."},{"startTime":2788.076,"endTime":2789.953,"body":"And then this. No, calm down."},{"startTime":2788.076,"endTime":2789.953,"body":"Look out, Look out."},{"startTime":2789.953,"endTime":2791.33,"body":"I have. I have."},{"startTime":2791.33,"endTime":2793.54,"body":"I can equal this"},{"startTime":2791.33,"endTime":2793.54,"body":"because I have, like, poems"},{"startTime":2793.54,"endTime":2796.043,"body":"that I wrote in, like,"},{"startTime":2793.54,"endTime":2796.043,"body":"the fourth grade that I can bring."},{"startTime":2796.043,"endTime":2797.544,"body":"Okay. Have a poet."},{"startTime":2797.544,"endTime":2799.171,"body":"Okay, Our next pen."},{"startTime":2799.171,"endTime":2801.173,"body":"Okay. We'll have a poetry reading."},{"startTime":2801.173,"endTime":2803.217,"body":"I love that. A high school. Poetry?"},{"startTime":2803.217,"endTime":2804.551,"body":"Yeah. School."},{"startTime":2804.551,"endTime":2805.511,"body":"Yeah. Okay."},{"startTime":2805.511,"endTime":2806.804,"body":"Hundred percent."},{"startTime":2806.804,"endTime":2807.763,"body":"And guess what?"},{"startTime":2807.763,"endTime":2809.598,"body":"My fucking poems rhyme."},{"startTime":2809.598,"endTime":2811.517,"body":"Oh, God damn it."},{"startTime":2811.517,"endTime":2815.145,"body":"You should be my mother's son"},{"startTime":2811.517,"endTime":2815.145,"body":"instead of me being my mother's son."},{"startTime":2815.395,"endTime":2816.605,"body":"I'm. I've been true blue."},{"startTime":2816.605,"endTime":2817.564,"body":"Everything rise."},{"startTime":2817.564,"endTime":2820.567,"body":"Oh, mine are about like a ghost."},{"startTime":2820.651,"endTime":2823.32,"body":"Oh, well, that's clever."},{"startTime":2820.651,"endTime":2823.32,"body":"That's at least that's clever."},{"startTime":2823.32,"endTime":2825.656,"body":"Always like there's something"},{"startTime":2823.32,"endTime":2825.656,"body":"spooky in all my."},{"startTime":2825.656,"endTime":2826.49,"body":"Uh huh."},{"startTime":2826.49,"endTime":2829.535,"body":"Moon And the wind"},{"startTime":2826.49,"endTime":2829.535,"body":"is always doing something."},{"startTime":2832.371,"endTime":2834.164,"body":"I hope it was that caliber."},{"startTime":2834.164,"endTime":2836.5,"body":"The wind is doing something windy."},{"startTime":2836.5,"endTime":2838.126,"body":"I can. It's Texas."},{"startTime":2838.126,"endTime":2842.548,"body":"We had minor printed on the kind of paper"},{"startTime":2838.126,"endTime":2842.548,"body":"we had to tear the edges out."},{"startTime":2842.965,"endTime":2845.968,"body":"Yeah. Uh huh. Yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":2845.968,"endTime":2849.346,"body":"And I think"},{"startTime":2845.968,"endTime":2849.346,"body":"because there's an epic poem. Huh?"},{"startTime":2849.596,"endTime":2851.056,"body":"It's like a full weather forecast."},{"startTime":2851.056,"endTime":2854.226,"body":"There's the full moon is going on."},{"startTime":2854.476,"endTime":2855.519,"body":"That's amazing."},{"startTime":2855.519,"endTime":2857.521,"body":"Still, I think, because I didn't"},{"startTime":2855.519,"endTime":2857.521,"body":"want to break up the sequence."},{"startTime":2857.521,"endTime":2858.897,"body":"It's still in the connected paper."},{"startTime":2858.897,"endTime":2861.441,"body":"Made a tear. The paper"},{"startTime":2858.897,"endTime":2861.441,"body":"right from each other?"},{"startTime":2861.441,"endTime":2862.609,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":2862.609,"endTime":2863.819,"body":"Like, connected."},{"startTime":2863.819,"endTime":2864.945,"body":"And were you."},{"startTime":2864.945,"endTime":2867.948,"body":"Did you get any praise? Like, about the."},{"startTime":2867.948,"endTime":2870.075,"body":"Ah, I definitely."},{"startTime":2870.075,"endTime":2871.994,"body":"Your teacher probably really liked you."},{"startTime":2871.994,"endTime":2873.453,"body":"Your English teacher? Yeah. Okay."},{"startTime":2873.453,"endTime":2877.666,"body":"Think to my parents, they were already"},{"startTime":2873.453,"endTime":2877.666,"body":"mortified how my wrists were."},{"startTime":2877.666,"endTime":2879.71,"body":"They're like. And he writes poetry like."},{"startTime":2879.71,"endTime":2880.836,"body":"How much worse could this get?"},{"startTime":2880.836,"endTime":2885.173,"body":"And my guess why I'm going to start"},{"startTime":2880.836,"endTime":2885.173,"body":"comedy haha, I'm going to be a drag queen."},{"startTime":2885.632,"endTime":2886.633,"body":"Oh yeah."},{"startTime":2886.633,"endTime":2888.552,"body":"No, my father was supportive,"},{"startTime":2886.633,"endTime":2888.552,"body":"but I think it was like,"},{"startTime":2890.304,"endTime":2891.388,"body":"Are you going to turn this the."},{"startTime":2891.388,"endTime":2892.973,"body":"You know what I mean? Right?"},{"startTime":2892.973,"endTime":2896.81,"body":"I know one person in my life"},{"startTime":2892.973,"endTime":2896.81,"body":"who's like a famous poet."},{"startTime":2897.519,"endTime":2900.522,"body":"They are a firefight writer. Now."},{"startTime":2900.522,"endTime":2901.857,"body":"Who was. It?"},{"startTime":2901.857,"endTime":2903.066,"body":"Her name is Susanna Follett."},{"startTime":2903.066,"endTime":2904.443,"body":"She was in Texas. Okay."},{"startTime":2904.443,"endTime":2906.153,"body":"And together called Show Me Tiger."},{"startTime":2906.153,"endTime":2909.281,"body":"Oh, and she's very funny,"},{"startTime":2906.153,"endTime":2909.281,"body":"like great writer."},{"startTime":2909.281,"endTime":2911.116,"body":"But she made a name"},{"startTime":2909.281,"endTime":2911.116,"body":"for some of the poetry community."},{"startTime":2911.116,"endTime":2911.95,"body":"But it's like."},{"startTime":2911.95,"endTime":2914.62,"body":"You know, I have. Pamphlets for the. Rest."},{"startTime":2914.62,"endTime":2916.33,"body":"I have one friend like that."},{"startTime":2916.33,"endTime":2918.081,"body":"And I think and she's professor."},{"startTime":2918.081,"endTime":2920.083,"body":"Her name is Denise Duhamel."},{"startTime":2920.083,"endTime":2921.418,"body":"Denise Duhamel."},{"startTime":2921.418,"endTime":2924.212,"body":"What were the things you tried to call"},{"startTime":2921.418,"endTime":2924.212,"body":"for better radio station"},{"startTime":2924.212,"endTime":2927.257,"body":"and stuff"},{"startTime":2924.212,"endTime":2927.257,"body":"where you tried to call for what it is?"},{"startTime":2927.633,"endTime":2929.343,"body":"Yeah. Oh, my God. I think I."},{"startTime":2929.343,"endTime":2935.39,"body":"I tried to get tickets for the the really"},{"startTime":2929.343,"endTime":2935.39,"body":"awful rock movie, the Led Zeppelin movie."},{"startTime":2935.766,"endTime":2936.725,"body":"The what."},{"startTime":2936.725,"endTime":2939.561,"body":"The song Remains"},{"startTime":2936.725,"endTime":2939.561,"body":"the same was that the movie was called."},{"startTime":2939.561,"endTime":2940.437,"body":"Like Spinal Tap."},{"startTime":2940.437,"endTime":2941.772,"body":"No, no, just for a movie."},{"startTime":2941.772,"endTime":2943.357,"body":"Nobody came to our fucking town."},{"startTime":2943.357,"endTime":2946.36,"body":"No big bands came to Jamestown."},{"startTime":2946.36,"endTime":2948.362,"body":"They just. No."},{"startTime":2948.362,"endTime":2949.947,"body":"You had to go to Buffalo."},{"startTime":2949.947,"endTime":2952.24,"body":"Yeah. Yeah, we'd have to go to Buffalo."},{"startTime":2952.24,"endTime":2952.866,"body":"To see who"},{"startTime":2953.867,"endTime":2954.117,"body":"you were."},{"startTime":2954.117,"endTime":2955.285,"body":"Like in a white rock?"},{"startTime":2955.285,"endTime":2958.08,"body":"Yeah, actually, I saw the police."},{"startTime":2958.08,"endTime":2960.082,"body":"We drove to see the police,"},{"startTime":2960.082,"endTime":2964.461,"body":"And that was pretty amazing,"},{"startTime":2960.082,"endTime":2964.461,"body":"except we were on ecstasy and I had taken"},{"startTime":2964.461,"endTime":2967.589,"body":"too much, and I was just the whole time"},{"startTime":2964.461,"endTime":2967.589,"body":"I was staring at the ceiling."},{"startTime":2968.006,"endTime":2969.508,"body":"We had shitty seats anyway, but."},{"startTime":2969.508,"endTime":2971.218,"body":"There is such a thing as too much ecstasy."},{"startTime":2971.218,"endTime":2973.887,"body":"Yeah, my too much ecstasy,"},{"startTime":2973.887,"endTime":2976.89,"body":"unfortunately, took place"},{"startTime":2973.887,"endTime":2976.89,"body":"when I was in, like, a massage circle."},{"startTime":2976.89,"endTime":2979.226,"body":"Mm hmm. Do you ever go to theater school?"},{"startTime":2979.226,"endTime":2981.52,"body":"Did you ever, like,"},{"startTime":2979.226,"endTime":2981.52,"body":"go to college or university?"},{"startTime":2981.52,"endTime":2982.02,"body":"Oh, sure."},{"startTime":2982.02,"endTime":2983.522,"body":"But I knew nothing of that."},{"startTime":2983.522,"endTime":2985.44,"body":"I never took theater classes, remember?"},{"startTime":2985.44,"endTime":2986.441,"body":"They're very touchy. Feely."},{"startTime":2986.441,"endTime":2987.484,"body":"Uh huh."},{"startTime":2987.484,"endTime":2988.61,"body":"A massage."},{"startTime":2988.61,"endTime":2991.613,"body":"So We were all good."},{"startTime":2988.61,"endTime":2991.613,"body":"We were all on ecstasy."},{"startTime":2991.78,"endTime":2994.449,"body":"And some of the grand idea was like,"},{"startTime":2991.78,"endTime":2994.449,"body":"Well, let's all sit in a circle"},{"startTime":2994.449,"endTime":2996.201,"body":"and more like, rub each other's shoulders."},{"startTime":2996.201,"endTime":2998.537,"body":"And that's when everybody's night"},{"startTime":2996.201,"endTime":2998.537,"body":"went to shit. Everyone said,"},{"startTime":3001.373,"endTime":3003.083,"body":"Wow. Wow."},{"startTime":3003.083,"endTime":3004.543,"body":"I remember. I was like, We're sitting."},{"startTime":3004.543,"endTime":3007.504,"body":"I was trying to enjoy the brutal shoulder"},{"startTime":3004.543,"endTime":3007.504,"body":"massage."},{"startTime":3007.504,"endTime":3010.257,"body":"I was getting. And I remember going,"},{"startTime":3007.504,"endTime":3010.257,"body":"What is that?"},{"startTime":3010.257,"endTime":3013.26,"body":"Huh? And around the person was right"},{"startTime":3010.257,"endTime":3013.26,"body":"shoulder was grinding their jaw."},{"startTime":3013.385,"endTime":3014.761,"body":"Oh, man."},{"startTime":3014.761,"endTime":3017.889,"body":"Here it"},{"startTime":3014.761,"endTime":3017.889,"body":"yeah, Everybody had a horrible line."},{"startTime":3017.889,"endTime":3021.101,"body":"There was a fish album"},{"startTime":3017.889,"endTime":3021.101,"body":"being a live fish album"},{"startTime":3021.101,"endTime":3024.104,"body":"on cassette being played like everything"},{"startTime":3024.187,"endTime":3025.439,"body":"and the Too Ecstasy."},{"startTime":3025.439,"endTime":3026.148,"body":"That's it."},{"startTime":3026.148,"endTime":3028.4,"body":"Wow. So you were too high at the police?"},{"startTime":3028.4,"endTime":3030.11,"body":"Uh huh, yeah."},{"startTime":3030.11,"endTime":3034.281,"body":"One time I took mushrooms and"},{"startTime":3030.11,"endTime":3034.281,"body":"I was at a Tori Amos concert by myself."},{"startTime":3034.364,"endTime":3036.867,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":3034.364,"endTime":3036.867,"body":"Which is way more fun than his own."},{"startTime":3036.867,"endTime":3040.412,"body":"and I remember I was sitting at Red Rocks,"},{"startTime":3036.867,"endTime":3040.412,"body":"and that's how I've been"},{"startTime":3040.412,"endTime":3044.124,"body":"someone"},{"startTime":3040.412,"endTime":3044.124,"body":"I had a college class with in Texas."},{"startTime":3044.708,"endTime":3046.376,"body":"Taps me on the shoulder."},{"startTime":3046.376,"endTime":3046.877,"body":"I was like, Yes."},{"startTime":3046.877,"endTime":3049.463,"body":"She goes, I just like sitting over here"},{"startTime":3046.877,"endTime":3049.463,"body":"all by yourself."},{"startTime":3049.463,"endTime":3052.466,"body":"Would you like to come join"},{"startTime":3049.463,"endTime":3052.466,"body":"me and my friends? Huh?"},{"startTime":3052.466,"endTime":3054.134,"body":"First of all,"},{"startTime":3052.466,"endTime":3054.134,"body":"I was high shit on mushrooms."},{"startTime":3054.134,"endTime":3056.178,"body":"So the the synchronous city,"},{"startTime":3056.178,"endTime":3058.847,"body":"the coincidence of, like,"},{"startTime":3056.178,"endTime":3058.847,"body":"seeing someone I know."},{"startTime":3058.847,"endTime":3060.098,"body":"Oh, huge."},{"startTime":3060.098,"endTime":3061.099,"body":"Sure. Crazy."},{"startTime":3061.099,"endTime":3066.897,"body":"So then I go join her friends who all hate"},{"startTime":3061.099,"endTime":3066.897,"body":"Tori most and can't stand concert,"},{"startTime":3067.147,"endTime":3069.983,"body":"and they're just shitting"},{"startTime":3067.147,"endTime":3069.983,"body":"all over the show while I'm on."},{"startTime":3069.983,"endTime":3072.402,"body":"Like, you know, I'm on another planet."},{"startTime":3072.402,"endTime":3074.696,"body":"Mm hmm. Oh, it was rough."},{"startTime":3074.696,"endTime":3079.159,"body":"I was at the Staples Center for"},{"startTime":3074.696,"endTime":3079.159,"body":"It was like, kind of."},{"startTime":3079.159,"endTime":3081.161,"body":"NBC had given some of the writers"},{"startTime":3081.161,"endTime":3084.664,"body":"and producers tickets, you know,"},{"startTime":3081.161,"endTime":3084.664,"body":"box tickets at the Staples Center."},{"startTime":3085.123,"endTime":3086.083,"body":"so I was there, you know,"},{"startTime":3086.083,"endTime":3090.754,"body":"some of the writers in this one room,"},{"startTime":3086.083,"endTime":3090.754,"body":"and we were watching John Mayer."},{"startTime":3090.754,"endTime":3094.508,"body":"And first of all, he was saying,"},{"startTime":3090.754,"endTime":3094.508,"body":"I'm sorry, I'm not,"},{"startTime":3094.716,"endTime":3096.384,"body":"you know, probably"},{"startTime":3094.716,"endTime":3096.384,"body":"going to leave California."},{"startTime":3096.384,"endTime":3097.594,"body":"And everybody it's going,"},{"startTime":3097.594,"endTime":3099.137,"body":"you know, like he's kind of announcing"},{"startTime":3099.137,"endTime":3101.056,"body":"that, you know, he's"},{"startTime":3099.137,"endTime":3101.056,"body":"not going to stay here anymore."},{"startTime":3101.056,"endTime":3103.266,"body":"And I was like, Fuck you, get out."},{"startTime":3103.266,"endTime":3105.143,"body":"Good. Go, go, go. I was okay, whatever."},{"startTime":3105.143,"endTime":3107.938,"body":"And and I felt"},{"startTime":3105.143,"endTime":3107.938,"body":"and that was me completely sober."},{"startTime":3107.938,"endTime":3110.982,"body":"And then this friend of mine,"},{"startTime":3107.938,"endTime":3110.982,"body":"one of the writers, someone great,"},{"startTime":3110.982,"endTime":3113.485,"body":"said,"},{"startTime":3110.982,"endTime":3113.485,"body":"you know, those brownies are pot brownies."},{"startTime":3113.485,"endTime":3115.153,"body":"And they said, Get out."},{"startTime":3115.153,"endTime":3117.948,"body":"And so I was like,"},{"startTime":3115.153,"endTime":3117.948,"body":"This could actually be a good concert."},{"startTime":3117.948,"endTime":3121.076,"body":"So I started taking,"},{"startTime":3117.948,"endTime":3121.076,"body":"you know, eating the brownie."},{"startTime":3121.159,"endTime":3122.494,"body":"and they were really delicious and small."},{"startTime":3122.494,"endTime":3124.329,"body":"So I had like three. Okay."},{"startTime":3124.329,"endTime":3128.125,"body":"And then I was suddenly"},{"startTime":3124.329,"endTime":3128.125,"body":"completely out of my,"},{"startTime":3128.166,"endTime":3132.003,"body":"you know, just laughing at myself and just"},{"startTime":3128.166,"endTime":3132.003,"body":"completely laughing about nothing."},{"startTime":3132.295,"endTime":3133.964,"body":"I was like I was having my own party."},{"startTime":3133.964,"endTime":3136.091,"body":"I was so happy with my own company."},{"startTime":3136.091,"endTime":3139.01,"body":"And so I went to the ladies room"},{"startTime":3136.091,"endTime":3139.01,"body":"because I was kind of embarrassed."},{"startTime":3139.01,"endTime":3141.763,"body":"So I was thinking, I keep getting looks."},{"startTime":3139.01,"endTime":3141.763,"body":"Oh, and that's another thing."},{"startTime":3141.763,"endTime":3145.725,"body":"I think when you're with a lot of people"},{"startTime":3141.763,"endTime":3145.725,"body":"and someone says, Are you okay?"},{"startTime":3147.727,"endTime":3149.104,"body":"Right?"},{"startTime":3149.104,"endTime":3150.856,"body":"They don't care if you are okay."},{"startTime":3150.856,"endTime":3153.15,"body":"They're just saying"},{"startTime":3150.856,"endTime":3153.15,"body":"you're making a fool of yourself."},{"startTime":3153.15,"endTime":3155.11,"body":"You're embarrassing me."},{"startTime":3155.11,"endTime":3156.194,"body":"That's what are you okay?"},{"startTime":3156.194,"endTime":3157.988,"body":"Means you're embarrassing yourself."},{"startTime":3157.988,"endTime":3162.492,"body":"Okay, So anyway, I went to the ladies room"},{"startTime":3157.988,"endTime":3162.492,"body":"because I, you know, was not okay."},{"startTime":3162.826,"endTime":3164.077,"body":"And then."},{"startTime":3164.077,"endTime":3166.246,"body":"And there was an exec in there."},{"startTime":3166.246,"endTime":3167.539,"body":"B male exec."},{"startTime":3167.539,"endTime":3170.5,"body":"And we had a couple"},{"startTime":3167.539,"endTime":3170.5,"body":"said a few things to each other,"},{"startTime":3170.5,"endTime":3171.585,"body":"and I was like, stayed there."},{"startTime":3171.585,"endTime":3174.588,"body":"I was just giggling to myself"},{"startTime":3171.585,"endTime":3174.588,"body":"and I was washing my hands and I left."},{"startTime":3174.838,"endTime":3179.092,"body":"And then I didn't want to go back in to"},{"startTime":3174.838,"endTime":3179.092,"body":"to the room because I thought I was being,"},{"startTime":3179.342,"endTime":3180.051,"body":"you know."},{"startTime":3180.051,"endTime":3180.635,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3180.635,"endTime":3184.014,"body":"So I sat outside the ladies room"},{"startTime":3180.635,"endTime":3184.014,"body":"and I had my head down."},{"startTime":3184.014,"endTime":3187.058,"body":"I was kind of just laughing"},{"startTime":3184.014,"endTime":3187.058,"body":"because I thought my big plan"},{"startTime":3187.058,"endTime":3188.56,"body":"was going to say I had a headache,"},{"startTime":3187.058,"endTime":3188.56,"body":"I don't know what."},{"startTime":3188.56,"endTime":3191.563,"body":"And I just had to sit in the dark over"},{"startTime":3188.56,"endTime":3191.563,"body":"and this other"},{"startTime":3191.771,"endTime":3195.15,"body":"female exac comes out of the bathroom"},{"startTime":3191.771,"endTime":3195.15,"body":"And then it was just kind of weird."},{"startTime":3195.4,"endTime":3196.776,"body":"Are you going back in?"},{"startTime":3196.776,"endTime":3199.779,"body":"And then I just start"},{"startTime":3196.776,"endTime":3199.779,"body":"laughing to myself again and, and say,"},{"startTime":3200.28,"endTime":3202.49,"body":"Have you ever tried"},{"startTime":3200.28,"endTime":3202.49,"body":"drinking from the bowl? Oh,"},{"startTime":3203.867,"endTime":3206.161,"body":"and then I'm crying, laughing at myself."},{"startTime":3206.161,"endTime":3209.164,"body":"And she just gives me a look like, Aha,"},{"startTime":3209.414,"endTime":3211.041,"body":"like a fake, a little laugh. Like, how."},{"startTime":3211.041,"endTime":3213.001,"body":"Can you do an executive to say something"},{"startTime":3211.041,"endTime":3213.001,"body":"funny?"},{"startTime":3213.001,"endTime":3214.211,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":3214.211,"endTime":3215.378,"body":"Comedy. Exactly."},{"startTime":3215.378,"endTime":3218.381,"body":"At first, that's the last thing."},{"startTime":3221.676,"endTime":3224.679,"body":"So, okay, we have a lot of our design"},{"startTime":3221.676,"endTime":3224.679,"body":"poetry reading."},{"startTime":3224.721,"endTime":3227.39,"body":"Uh huh. We have to at least watch one."},{"startTime":3227.39,"endTime":3229.935,"body":"Yeah. And a what? And a western."},{"startTime":3229.935,"endTime":3232.187,"body":"Yeah. Let's. Let's do that. Okay, cool."},{"startTime":3232.187,"endTime":3233.647,"body":"what? What, what, what?"},{"startTime":3233.647,"endTime":3237.525,"body":"We should have, like, a poetry competition"},{"startTime":3233.647,"endTime":3237.525,"body":"where the listeners vote."},{"startTime":3237.567,"endTime":3239.277,"body":"This poem is the best."},{"startTime":3239.277,"endTime":3239.861,"body":"Or the worst."},{"startTime":3239.861,"endTime":3241.863,"body":"Yeah, Yeah, exactly. Exactly."},{"startTime":3241.863,"endTime":3243.949,"body":"I would love that. Sure."},{"startTime":3243.949,"endTime":3244.824,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":3244.824,"endTime":3246.076,"body":"Oh, this is so fun. Yeah."},{"startTime":3246.076,"endTime":3248.536,"body":"Okay. I love you, too. But."}]}