{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":9.926,"endTime":12.804,"body":"i Yay!"},{"startTime":12.804,"endTime":13.888,"body":"We're here with Mike McSweeney."},{"startTime":13.888,"endTime":14.723,"body":"I can talk, right?"},{"startTime":14.723,"endTime":16.224,"body":"Yeah, I listened it."},{"startTime":16.224,"endTime":17.767,"body":"I'd rather just sit here."},{"startTime":17.767,"endTime":19.31,"body":"What would you like us to say about you?"},{"startTime":19.31,"endTime":20.311,"body":"You got it."},{"startTime":20.311,"endTime":23.314,"body":"Can you do 15? I'm a neighbor"},{"startTime":23.356,"endTime":24.566,"body":"outside."},{"startTime":24.566,"endTime":27.318,"body":"Said someone else got lost up here."},{"startTime":27.318,"endTime":28.111,"body":"Uh huh."},{"startTime":28.111,"endTime":31.114,"body":"So you called me to do this podcast? Yeah."},{"startTime":31.114,"endTime":33.199,"body":"Whoever gets lost, everyone gets lost."},{"startTime":33.199,"endTime":36.161,"body":"Yeah. Noon."},{"startTime":33.199,"endTime":36.161,"body":"And you swam in the ocean today?"},{"startTime":36.244,"endTime":37.537,"body":"I did. I swam."},{"startTime":37.537,"endTime":40.165,"body":"I swim every Friday at 630."},{"startTime":40.165,"endTime":42.667,"body":"I'm unbelievable."},{"startTime":42.667,"endTime":44.878,"body":"That means you have to go to bed early,"},{"startTime":42.667,"endTime":44.878,"body":"right?"},{"startTime":44.878,"endTime":46.379,"body":"Sure. Yes."},{"startTime":46.379,"endTime":48.965,"body":"Free ocean."},{"startTime":46.379,"endTime":48.965,"body":"What did you call it for? Free ocean."},{"startTime":48.965,"endTime":49.966,"body":"Oh, an actual."},{"startTime":49.966,"endTime":51.593,"body":"That was just open water. Yeah."},{"startTime":51.593,"endTime":54.721,"body":"they started doing a year ago"},{"startTime":51.593,"endTime":54.721,"body":"because my wife suggested it"},{"startTime":54.721,"endTime":56.806,"body":"as a way to get me out of the house."},{"startTime":54.721,"endTime":56.806,"body":"And it were."},{"startTime":56.806,"endTime":57.807,"body":"Oh, yeah. Uh huh."},{"startTime":57.807,"endTime":59.726,"body":"And it's all these triathletes swim."},{"startTime":59.726,"endTime":63.813,"body":"It's just I found this really nice"},{"startTime":59.726,"endTime":63.813,"body":"when they put Louise out there,"},{"startTime":63.813,"endTime":67.233,"body":"and I was terrified to swim with them"},{"startTime":63.813,"endTime":67.233,"body":"the first time. Wow."},{"startTime":67.525,"endTime":71.988,"body":"Turns out triathletes, usually their worst"},{"startTime":67.525,"endTime":71.988,"body":"sport of the three is swimming."},{"startTime":72.072,"endTime":72.697,"body":"think so."},{"startTime":72.697,"endTime":75.116,"body":"Well, now it's called up."},{"startTime":72.697,"endTime":75.116,"body":"Still amazing swimmers."},{"startTime":75.116,"endTime":78.411,"body":"Yeah, But if it's called open swimming,"},{"startTime":75.116,"endTime":78.411,"body":"could I just."},{"startTime":79.245,"endTime":80.538,"body":"Oh. Oh."},{"startTime":80.538,"endTime":81.581,"body":"Oh, okay."},{"startTime":81.581,"endTime":83.833,"body":"I can say. Can I just go"},{"startTime":81.581,"endTime":83.833,"body":"jump into the neighbor's pool?"},{"startTime":83.833,"endTime":86.836,"body":"Cause I don't know them,"},{"startTime":83.833,"endTime":86.836,"body":"but I could still say I'm open."},{"startTime":86.878,"endTime":89.464,"body":"To a river or an ocean. Yes. Okay. Okay."},{"startTime":90.59,"endTime":92.759,"body":"Oh, I beg your pardon."},{"startTime":92.759,"endTime":94.26,"body":"It's a triathlon."},{"startTime":94.26,"endTime":97.138,"body":"It's run by and then swim."},{"startTime":97.138,"endTime":99.516,"body":"No, It's like they don't"},{"startTime":97.138,"endTime":99.516,"body":"want you to do the sport."},{"startTime":99.516,"endTime":101.017,"body":"They start with swimming."},{"startTime":101.017,"endTime":104.562,"body":"Oh, so then you're so tired"},{"startTime":101.017,"endTime":104.562,"body":"because that's the most grueling, right?"},{"startTime":104.854,"endTime":107.315,"body":"Sopping wet"},{"startTime":104.854,"endTime":107.315,"body":"and you're in a sweat bathing suit."},{"startTime":107.315,"endTime":110.318,"body":"And then they make you jump on a bike."},{"startTime":107.315,"endTime":110.318,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":110.86,"endTime":113.321,"body":"And then run Dick blisters and."},{"startTime":113.321,"endTime":115.49,"body":"Uh, dick blisters."},{"startTime":115.49,"endTime":117.617,"body":"It's happened by later."},{"startTime":117.617,"endTime":118.451,"body":"No, I feel like."},{"startTime":118.451,"endTime":119.911,"body":"So you get those from biking?"},{"startTime":119.911,"endTime":122.205,"body":"They don't. Yeah,"},{"startTime":119.911,"endTime":122.205,"body":"they don't want swimmers."},{"startTime":122.205,"endTime":124.374,"body":"They don't want people getting super tired"},{"startTime":122.205,"endTime":124.374,"body":"and jumping in the water."},{"startTime":124.374,"endTime":126.292,"body":"Everybody would drown, I guess."},{"startTime":126.292,"endTime":128.419,"body":"Uh, which is the real way to win."},{"startTime":128.419,"endTime":129.754,"body":"Yeah, right."},{"startTime":129.754,"endTime":131.881,"body":"Well,"},{"startTime":129.754,"endTime":131.881,"body":"I waited till I was really old to swim."},{"startTime":131.881,"endTime":135.468,"body":"So then if I do a race, there's"},{"startTime":131.881,"endTime":135.468,"body":"only like three or four other people. My"},{"startTime":137.387,"endTime":140.39,"body":"chance to do well at my age."},{"startTime":140.515,"endTime":141.141,"body":"I'm 41."},{"startTime":141.141,"endTime":143.643,"body":"I start running like last year. Okay."},{"startTime":143.643,"endTime":147.188,"body":"Which is a horrible decision,"},{"startTime":143.643,"endTime":147.188,"body":"because now she's this mean really hurts."},{"startTime":147.188,"endTime":148.064,"body":"And then I can't. Do this."},{"startTime":148.064,"endTime":148.314,"body":"Right?"},{"startTime":148.314,"endTime":152.235,"body":"Me All right,"},{"startTime":148.314,"endTime":152.235,"body":"then I try to adjust my like, muscle mind"},{"startTime":152.235,"endTime":155.905,"body":"connection to my thigh muscle,"},{"startTime":152.235,"endTime":155.905,"body":"which just made my hip hurt."},{"startTime":155.947,"endTime":157.991,"body":"I feel like I should just be just."},{"startTime":155.947,"endTime":157.991,"body":"Made by my. Head."},{"startTime":157.991,"endTime":160.994,"body":"I know. I. I know. Do we have to?"},{"startTime":161.119,"endTime":164.455,"body":"Can we just be on the phone"},{"startTime":161.119,"endTime":164.455,"body":"with our parents and hear about X?"},{"startTime":165.415,"endTime":168.376,"body":"I'm saying let's do this fucking podcast."},{"startTime":168.376,"endTime":170.211,"body":"No, I mean, like,"},{"startTime":168.376,"endTime":170.211,"body":"because they're elderly, I."},{"startTime":170.211,"endTime":171.754,"body":"Have an emergency on the road."},{"startTime":171.754,"endTime":174.382,"body":"That's one thing."},{"startTime":171.754,"endTime":174.382,"body":"But if you have like a cramp in the ocean."},{"startTime":174.382,"endTime":176.134,"body":"I think people get those all the time."},{"startTime":176.134,"endTime":179.971,"body":"Oh, you just,"},{"startTime":176.134,"endTime":179.971,"body":"uh, stop and pull on your toes."},{"startTime":179.971,"endTime":181.931,"body":"That's the thing."},{"startTime":179.971,"endTime":181.931,"body":"And straighten out your leg."},{"startTime":181.931,"endTime":183.85,"body":"Like a ballet dancer?"},{"startTime":181.931,"endTime":183.85,"body":"Yeah. what do you think?"},{"startTime":183.85,"endTime":187.854,"body":"My connection is to Michael Phelps,"},{"startTime":183.85,"endTime":187.854,"body":"the amazing swimmer."},{"startTime":188.563,"endTime":190.44,"body":"In the bong? Hmm."},{"startTime":190.44,"endTime":192.859,"body":"I know. Now."},{"startTime":192.859,"endTime":193.86,"body":"That's sort of my."},{"startTime":193.86,"endTime":194.903,"body":"I wish."},{"startTime":194.903,"endTime":199.532,"body":"No, we have the same EIGRP index in there."},{"startTime":199.908,"endTime":201.201,"body":"Yeah, You know what that is?"},{"startTime":201.201,"endTime":204.204,"body":"I know what that means"},{"startTime":201.201,"endTime":204.204,"body":"is, doesn't he have insanely long hours?"},{"startTime":204.204,"endTime":207.207,"body":"Yep, yep, yep."},{"startTime":207.332,"endTime":208.708,"body":"And I have that, too."},{"startTime":208.708,"endTime":210.752,"body":"How long are your arms? But,"},{"startTime":208.708,"endTime":210.752,"body":"I mean, they're going."},{"startTime":210.752,"endTime":213.63,"body":"Okay. They're going through"},{"startTime":210.752,"endTime":213.63,"body":"both walls. Look at."},{"startTime":213.63,"endTime":215.256,"body":"They're going through that wall. And now."},{"startTime":215.256,"endTime":216.007,"body":"Well, no. Okay."},{"startTime":216.007,"endTime":219.093,"body":"Okay, Da Vinci's,"},{"startTime":216.007,"endTime":219.093,"body":"you know, the sketch of the Vesuvius man"},{"startTime":219.135,"endTime":222.847,"body":"he was a proponent of this thing"},{"startTime":219.135,"endTime":222.847,"body":"called your EIGRP index,"},{"startTime":223.056,"endTime":226.976,"body":"meaning that you should be as"},{"startTime":223.056,"endTime":226.976,"body":"tall as your wingspan"},{"startTime":226.976,"endTime":229.979,"body":"is from middle finger"},{"startTime":226.976,"endTime":229.979,"body":"to middle finger at the tips."},{"startTime":230.396,"endTime":234.943,"body":"And so his his EIGRP index."},{"startTime":234.984,"endTime":239.28,"body":"is three inches because his arms are three"},{"startTime":234.984,"endTime":239.28,"body":"inches longer than his height"},{"startTime":239.614,"endTime":240.823,"body":"and so's mine."},{"startTime":240.823,"endTime":243.826,"body":"I'm five, nine and my wingspan feet."},{"startTime":243.993,"endTime":244.452,"body":"But more."},{"startTime":244.452,"endTime":246.788,"body":"The real trick is"},{"startTime":244.452,"endTime":246.788,"body":"you both have webbed feet, guys."},{"startTime":246.788,"endTime":249.332,"body":"All right, All right."},{"startTime":246.788,"endTime":249.332,"body":"I didn't say I was good at swimming."},{"startTime":249.332,"endTime":250.416,"body":"I didn't say that."},{"startTime":250.416,"endTime":251.584,"body":"I'm just saying that."},{"startTime":251.584,"endTime":252.252,"body":"Next question."},{"startTime":252.252,"endTime":252.919,"body":"Do you feel like."},{"startTime":252.919,"endTime":255.964,"body":"Oh, God damn it, I I. Yeah."},{"startTime":256.506,"endTime":259.008,"body":"Oh, yes. But I could have also."},{"startTime":259.008,"endTime":260.009,"body":"Rock climbing is good."},{"startTime":260.009,"endTime":262.011,"body":"That seems more like something I could do."},{"startTime":262.011,"endTime":264.555,"body":"Something on a rock. Yeah. Never."},{"startTime":264.555,"endTime":266.307,"body":"Yeah. Yeah. In the ocean."},{"startTime":266.307,"endTime":268.226,"body":"I don't know how to swim. That's right."},{"startTime":268.226,"endTime":269.143,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":269.143,"endTime":269.686,"body":"You never."},{"startTime":269.686,"endTime":271.521,"body":"But did you grow up near Lake?"},{"startTime":271.521,"endTime":273.856,"body":"Yeah, yeah,"},{"startTime":271.521,"endTime":273.856,"body":"yeah. Yeah, yeah. Tarkwa. Yeah."},{"startTime":273.856,"endTime":274.732,"body":"Right. Yeah."},{"startTime":274.732,"endTime":277.36,"body":"Am I right? Yeah, But it was mostly cold."},{"startTime":274.732,"endTime":277.36,"body":"I learned how to ski."},{"startTime":277.36,"endTime":280.53,"body":"I didn't do a good job, but,"},{"startTime":277.36,"endTime":280.53,"body":"yeah, I never have. Hmm."},{"startTime":280.53,"endTime":282.407,"body":"How often do you see porpoise?"},{"startTime":282.407,"endTime":283.992,"body":"Uh, once in a while. They're out."},{"startTime":283.992,"endTime":285.952,"body":"They're huge right."},{"startTime":285.952,"endTime":287.036,"body":"Oh, well, combined."},{"startTime":287.036,"endTime":288.329,"body":"They're down there to see."},{"startTime":288.329,"endTime":289.872,"body":"How amazing. But."},{"startTime":289.872,"endTime":292.125,"body":"But everyone's like, Oh,"},{"startTime":289.872,"endTime":292.125,"body":"what about sharks?"},{"startTime":292.125,"endTime":295.295,"body":"And lately"},{"startTime":292.125,"endTime":295.295,"body":"there's been, like, a lot of algae bloom."},{"startTime":295.42,"endTime":296.17,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":296.17,"endTime":299.465,"body":"And the fish shoot that algae,"},{"startTime":296.17,"endTime":299.465,"body":"and then the seals."},{"startTime":299.465,"endTime":302.427,"body":"All the seals. I saw a few. Yeah."},{"startTime":303.386,"endTime":304.012,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":304.012,"endTime":307.015,"body":"And the algae bloom has made fish"},{"startTime":307.181,"endTime":310.226,"body":"has made the seals go crazy."},{"startTime":310.476,"endTime":313.646,"body":"No, it's why."},{"startTime":314.355,"endTime":315.857,"body":"Oh, why. I wonder what's in it."},{"startTime":315.857,"endTime":316.149,"body":"I don't know."},{"startTime":316.149,"endTime":316.816,"body":"It makes them kooky."},{"startTime":316.816,"endTime":319.319,"body":"It's like doing a pot with tap water."},{"startTime":319.319,"endTime":323.197,"body":"Oh. Oh, I was going to say,"},{"startTime":319.319,"endTime":323.197,"body":"I immediately went to."},{"startTime":323.406,"endTime":325.616,"body":"How do we get it and smoke it?"},{"startTime":325.616,"endTime":326.367,"body":"The algae."},{"startTime":326.367,"endTime":328.911,"body":"Yeah,"},{"startTime":326.367,"endTime":328.911,"body":"you can find that in California. Hmm."},{"startTime":328.911,"endTime":331.164,"body":"Oh, some seals here, huh?"},{"startTime":331.164,"endTime":331.914,"body":"Oh, that's sad, though."},{"startTime":331.914,"endTime":333.75,"body":"I don't feel bad that."},{"startTime":333.75,"endTime":336.502,"body":"Weird with my nieces on the beach."},{"startTime":336.502,"endTime":339.38,"body":"And we saw the seal, and they're like,"},{"startTime":336.502,"endTime":339.38,"body":"Get that dolphin?"},{"startTime":339.38,"endTime":341.591,"body":"Like no girls at brown. And it's."},{"startTime":341.591,"endTime":343.217,"body":"There's no fin and it's a seal."},{"startTime":343.217,"endTime":345.636,"body":"You just get like, Oh, no, I like."},{"startTime":345.636,"endTime":347.847,"body":"I wish I ruin it softly."},{"startTime":347.847,"endTime":349.891,"body":"I'm a Goncalo,"},{"startTime":347.847,"endTime":349.891,"body":"so it's really hard for them"},{"startTime":349.891,"endTime":352.101,"body":"to not that I'm fine"},{"startTime":349.891,"endTime":352.101,"body":"even when I'm lecturing, Right?"},{"startTime":352.101,"endTime":352.727,"body":"You know what I mean?"},{"startTime":352.727,"endTime":355.73,"body":"Mm. Uncle,"},{"startTime":352.727,"endTime":355.73,"body":"everything you do is fine. Right."},{"startTime":356.064,"endTime":356.773,"body":"How old are. They?"},{"startTime":356.773,"endTime":359.442,"body":"If I lived too little or. No,"},{"startTime":356.773,"endTime":359.442,"body":"You know what I mean. They're six."},{"startTime":359.442,"endTime":362.236,"body":"And for some examples are more"},{"startTime":359.442,"endTime":362.236,"body":"fun than regular uncles."},{"startTime":362.236,"endTime":364.614,"body":"Yeah. I was,"},{"startTime":370.286,"endTime":373.373,"body":"Mike has been a postman."},{"startTime":373.373,"endTime":379.462,"body":"He's been a lawyer, He's been a standup"},{"startTime":373.373,"endTime":379.462,"body":"writer, and he still does both."},{"startTime":379.629,"endTime":382.799,"body":"And he's been a husband and a dad."},{"startTime":382.799,"endTime":385.551,"body":"And I was going to say,"},{"startTime":382.799,"endTime":385.551,"body":"which job did you like the most?"},{"startTime":385.551,"endTime":389.68,"body":"And then you, in that situation,"},{"startTime":385.551,"endTime":389.68,"body":"you kind of almost have to say, Dad. I"},{"startTime":391.516,"endTime":394.519,"body":"hobsonville I knew you were a trial lawyer"},{"startTime":394.519,"endTime":397.438,"body":"right before you started doing television"},{"startTime":394.519,"endTime":397.438,"body":"work."},{"startTime":397.438,"endTime":399.232,"body":"Yeah,"},{"startTime":397.438,"endTime":399.232,"body":"but let's talk about the postman thing."},{"startTime":399.232,"endTime":400.858,"body":"Was that like a paper out? What?"},{"startTime":400.858,"endTime":403.069,"body":"It's why he doesn't have dogs in it."},{"startTime":403.069,"endTime":404.112,"body":"That's true."},{"startTime":404.112,"endTime":406.155,"body":"No, I was a mailman during college."},{"startTime":406.155,"endTime":407.198,"body":"Just my summer job."},{"startTime":407.198,"endTime":407.657,"body":"Uh huh."},{"startTime":407.657,"endTime":409.367,"body":"Like you took the civil service test?"},{"startTime":409.367,"endTime":410.868,"body":"Yeah, And I had."},{"startTime":410.868,"endTime":413.329,"body":"I had to learn"},{"startTime":410.868,"endTime":413.329,"body":"how to drive a jeep on case."},{"startTime":413.329,"endTime":415.665,"body":"The steering wheels on the left side."},{"startTime":413.329,"endTime":415.665,"body":"What's the. Rule?"},{"startTime":415.665,"endTime":418.209,"body":"Oh, I didn't know. The right side."},{"startTime":415.665,"endTime":418.209,"body":"What's the culture?"},{"startTime":418.209,"endTime":421.17,"body":"When someone's mailbox is two fold,"},{"startTime":418.209,"endTime":421.17,"body":"you just jam shit in there?"},{"startTime":421.587,"endTime":423.089,"body":"Oh, that's a good question. Yeah."},{"startTime":423.089,"endTime":424.215,"body":"What's your. What do you. Do?"},{"startTime":424.215,"endTime":425.55,"body":"Yeah, I think you just jam it in."},{"startTime":425.55,"endTime":427.844,"body":"Okay. Because as the person"},{"startTime":425.55,"endTime":427.844,"body":"who never knows their mailbox,"},{"startTime":427.844,"endTime":429.178,"body":"that's an act of aggression."},{"startTime":429.178,"endTime":430.847,"body":"Every time I open my mailbox and there's."},{"startTime":430.847,"endTime":432.056,"body":"But now there's no mail."},{"startTime":432.056,"endTime":435.226,"body":"Now, I don't think"},{"startTime":432.056,"endTime":435.226,"body":"this was a long time ago where your mail."},{"startTime":435.476,"endTime":437.979,"body":"You have from Internet, you get mail."},{"startTime":439.772,"endTime":441.607,"body":"You always get their junk mail."},{"startTime":441.607,"endTime":444.026,"body":"Oh, my God. I'm sick here as a reservist."},{"startTime":444.026,"endTime":445.194,"body":"And it's all about the mail."},{"startTime":445.194,"endTime":446.821,"body":"I don't give a shit"},{"startTime":445.194,"endTime":446.821,"body":"how much they're overcharging me."},{"startTime":446.821,"endTime":448.948,"body":"I'm like,"},{"startTime":446.821,"endTime":448.948,"body":"I don't want it in writing. Yeah."},{"startTime":448.948,"endTime":450.95,"body":"So it. Doesn't matter anymore."},{"startTime":450.95,"endTime":452.869,"body":"You know,"},{"startTime":450.95,"endTime":452.869,"body":"I just never did anything important."},{"startTime":452.869,"endTime":455.079,"body":"Well,"},{"startTime":452.869,"endTime":455.079,"body":"those coupons are fun to litter with."},{"startTime":455.079,"endTime":456.372,"body":"Yeah, that's true."},{"startTime":456.372,"endTime":458.458,"body":"No, every once in awhile, I get a check."},{"startTime":458.458,"endTime":460.96,"body":"Oh, right. Which is also that section."},{"startTime":460.96,"endTime":461.377,"body":"I know."},{"startTime":461.377,"endTime":464.505,"body":"I believe I received a check for $0.06"},{"startTime":461.377,"endTime":464.505,"body":"yesterday."},{"startTime":464.505,"endTime":466.883,"body":"McGarrett gets the mail. Mm hmm."},{"startTime":466.883,"endTime":467.258,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":467.258,"endTime":467.467,"body":"Let's."},{"startTime":467.467,"endTime":470.553,"body":"Tells me it was for Nick Swardson."},{"startTime":471.012,"endTime":472.763,"body":"I forgot what the Time show."},{"startTime":472.763,"endTime":473.973,"body":"That was the full title."},{"startTime":473.973,"endTime":476.267,"body":"Yeah, I forget what I know."},{"startTime":476.267,"endTime":477.101,"body":"Got everything."},{"startTime":477.101,"endTime":480.021,"body":"Is that which I thought"},{"startTime":477.101,"endTime":480.021,"body":"I told him not to go with that."},{"startTime":483.816,"endTime":484.734,"body":"$0.06."},{"startTime":484.734,"endTime":485.776,"body":"Yeah. Striking."},{"startTime":485.776,"endTime":487.653,"body":"I'm on strike. And everybody's on. Strike."},{"startTime":487.653,"endTime":488.738,"body":"I'm in all three unions."},{"startTime":488.738,"endTime":490.656,"body":"Where do you go To picket?"},{"startTime":490.656,"endTime":492.325,"body":"Yeah, go to the valley a lot."},{"startTime":492.325,"endTime":494.952,"body":"I go to Disney"},{"startTime":492.325,"endTime":494.952,"body":"because you can do a giant loop."},{"startTime":494.952,"endTime":495.661,"body":"Uh huh."},{"startTime":495.661,"endTime":497.788,"body":"So you don't have to go back and forth."},{"startTime":497.788,"endTime":499.665,"body":"What famous people did you see Picketing."},{"startTime":499.665,"endTime":500.958,"body":"I haven't seen anyone really."},{"startTime":500.958,"endTime":504.962,"body":"I went yesterday to television"},{"startTime":500.958,"endTime":504.962,"body":"sitting there and it was just writers."},{"startTime":505.922,"endTime":508.174,"body":"There were no legs sag."},{"startTime":508.174,"endTime":510.718,"body":"Yeah. Beautiful people."},{"startTime":508.174,"endTime":510.718,"body":"I one of the had a."},{"startTime":510.718,"endTime":513.179,"body":"There was no one in shape."},{"startTime":513.179,"endTime":513.638,"body":"So yeah."},{"startTime":513.638,"endTime":516.641,"body":"That's it was. A very small."},{"startTime":517.058,"endTime":518.017,"body":"Autograph book."},{"startTime":518.017,"endTime":519.685,"body":"Oh yeah. Yes."},{"startTime":519.685,"endTime":519.936,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":519.936,"endTime":522.939,"body":"So wait for you start"},{"startTime":519.936,"endTime":522.939,"body":"for a hundred million years ago, right?"},{"startTime":523.105,"endTime":525.525,"body":"I did. I did. He was in fourth. Grade."},{"startTime":526.692,"endTime":529.695,"body":"And I said, This guy's got a future."},{"startTime":530.488,"endTime":532.365,"body":"Cause I remember when I came out,"},{"startTime":532.365,"endTime":537.036,"body":"it was very different and new and not like"},{"startTime":532.365,"endTime":537.036,"body":"what was already on television"},{"startTime":537.036,"endTime":542.208,"body":"because those competition was it"},{"startTime":537.036,"endTime":542.208,"body":"Tom Snyder who were all up against Fox?"},{"startTime":542.333,"endTime":544.877,"body":"But I think it was Tom Snyder for a while."},{"startTime":544.877,"endTime":549.549,"body":"It just sounds funny that, well,"},{"startTime":544.877,"endTime":549.549,"body":"he like famously will tell you"},{"startTime":549.549,"endTime":554.262,"body":"know, back in these ancient times,"},{"startTime":549.549,"endTime":554.262,"body":"which is 1993, he was just like Carson."},{"startTime":554.512,"endTime":557.265,"body":"Mhm. And Letterman was on after cars. Mhm."},{"startTime":557.265,"endTime":559.35,"body":"And I was I think kind of so."},{"startTime":559.35,"endTime":561.102,"body":"you know there's the big"},{"startTime":561.102,"endTime":564.522,"body":"Jay Leno Letterman fights and then Jay"},{"startTime":561.102,"endTime":564.522,"body":"Leno was taking over for Carson."},{"startTime":564.522,"endTime":566.691,"body":"So Letterman moved to CBS."},{"startTime":566.691,"endTime":567.525,"body":"Right, right, right."},{"startTime":567.525,"endTime":570.111,"body":"And so he was taking over for Letterman."},{"startTime":570.111,"endTime":572.613,"body":"And Letterman was just such a giant."},{"startTime":572.613,"endTime":577.118,"body":"Yes. Of late night comedy at that point"},{"startTime":572.613,"endTime":577.118,"body":"that he wanted to make a show"},{"startTime":577.285,"endTime":580.538,"body":"that was in no way"},{"startTime":577.285,"endTime":580.538,"body":"anything like the Letterman show."},{"startTime":580.621,"endTime":583.291,"body":"So I think that's why you were saying"},{"startTime":580.621,"endTime":583.291,"body":"It seemed like different."},{"startTime":583.291,"endTime":584.083,"body":"It was so different."},{"startTime":584.083,"endTime":586.294,"body":"That was very intentional. Right."},{"startTime":586.294,"endTime":587.92,"body":"So you wanted to make sure"},{"startTime":586.294,"endTime":587.92,"body":"it wasn't funny."},{"startTime":587.92,"endTime":590.84,"body":"So that way, that way"},{"startTime":587.92,"endTime":590.84,"body":"would could not be confused."},{"startTime":591.924,"endTime":595.136,"body":"Oh. I had a mission and mission."},{"startTime":595.553,"endTime":598.556,"body":"And that's why."},{"startTime":598.723,"endTime":599.599,"body":"I. Keep it on."},{"startTime":599.599,"endTime":602.393,"body":"Funny, you know, I'm so mean."},{"startTime":602.393,"endTime":603.352,"body":"And Benadryl."},{"startTime":603.352,"endTime":605.938,"body":"Oh. Let's see. Said no."},{"startTime":605.938,"endTime":607.94,"body":"I've you know, here's what I dreamt about."},{"startTime":607.94,"endTime":609.275,"body":"And I think this is really sad."},{"startTime":609.275,"endTime":612.486,"body":"I dreamt that I was looking all over hell"},{"startTime":609.275,"endTime":612.486,"body":"for recent magazine"},{"startTime":612.486,"endTime":615.489,"body":"so it could be topical on this show."},{"startTime":615.615,"endTime":617.617,"body":"I all you could find was."},{"startTime":617.617,"endTime":619.577,"body":"Like."},{"startTime":619.577,"endTime":621.829,"body":"Talking about 1990."},{"startTime":621.829,"endTime":623.831,"body":"1993. No. No."},{"startTime":623.831,"endTime":624.332,"body":"When it came out."},{"startTime":624.332,"endTime":625.958,"body":"And I mean, it was funny."},{"startTime":625.958,"endTime":627.46,"body":"It it was incredible."},{"startTime":627.46,"endTime":629.795,"body":"Always funny and packed and stuff."},{"startTime":629.795,"endTime":632.381,"body":"You'll have segment on all the time,"},{"startTime":629.795,"endTime":632.381,"body":"right?"},{"startTime":632.381,"endTime":633.799,"body":"Tissues on SNL."},{"startTime":633.799,"endTime":635.926,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":633.799,"endTime":635.926,"body":"Tell me everything you know about her."},{"startTime":635.926,"endTime":636.969,"body":"Well, we did standup."},{"startTime":636.969,"endTime":639.388,"body":"Yeah, she's brilliant. I love her."},{"startTime":639.388,"endTime":641.182,"body":"Before I was. Oh, really? Yeah,"},{"startTime":642.224,"endTime":643.809,"body":"yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":643.809,"endTime":645.061,"body":"Yeah. How did you meet Laura?"},{"startTime":645.061,"endTime":645.603,"body":"Well, we can."},{"startTime":645.603,"endTime":648.606,"body":"I have to, because I feel like Mike's"},{"startTime":645.603,"endTime":648.606,"body":"going to, like, downplay this, but"},{"startTime":648.689,"endTime":651.692,"body":"we were in a sex cult together,"},{"startTime":648.689,"endTime":651.692,"body":"and it was only."},{"startTime":652.276,"endTime":654.403,"body":"Yeah, it was just the two of us."},{"startTime":654.403,"endTime":656.489,"body":"So we became good friends."},{"startTime":656.489,"endTime":660.201,"body":"You know, they'd meet us"},{"startTime":656.489,"endTime":660.201,"body":"and go, We're interested"},{"startTime":660.201,"endTime":663.204,"body":"in joining the cult. Mm."},{"startTime":664.538,"endTime":667.541,"body":"Oh, that's where you come in. Oh."},{"startTime":668.125,"endTime":668.459,"body":"You just."},{"startTime":668.459,"endTime":671.087,"body":"You really need that third person"},{"startTime":668.459,"endTime":671.087,"body":"for it to be a pyramid scheme."},{"startTime":671.087,"endTime":672.838,"body":"Oh, yeah. Yeah. Or just."},{"startTime":672.838,"endTime":675.299,"body":"Yeah. Otherwise it just looks okay. But."},{"startTime":675.299,"endTime":677.885,"body":"But I think it was comic strip"},{"startTime":675.299,"endTime":677.885,"body":"where we met."},{"startTime":677.885,"endTime":678.928,"body":"Yeah, probably."},{"startTime":678.928,"endTime":680.262,"body":"you? You're from New York?"},{"startTime":680.262,"endTime":681.263,"body":"From Jersey?"},{"startTime":681.263,"endTime":682.973,"body":"Yeah. But then. Oh, go ahead."},{"startTime":682.973,"endTime":684.642,"body":"You started standup first, were you?"},{"startTime":684.642,"endTime":688.02,"body":"I well, I was as you mentioned,"},{"startTime":684.642,"endTime":688.02,"body":"I was a lawyer, but I never wanted to be a"},{"startTime":688.02,"endTime":692.108,"body":"lawyer, and I had a cooking mother,"},{"startTime":688.02,"endTime":692.108,"body":"so I was like, kind of babysitting her."},{"startTime":692.108,"endTime":692.733,"body":"And then the second"},{"startTime":692.733,"endTime":696.737,"body":"I was old enough to move into the city,"},{"startTime":692.733,"endTime":696.737,"body":"which was I was already 26."},{"startTime":696.779,"endTime":699.448,"body":"But the second I'm"},{"startTime":696.779,"endTime":699.448,"body":"the say, I started doing standup at night."},{"startTime":699.448,"endTime":703.577,"body":"So I was like doing trials during the day"},{"startTime":699.448,"endTime":703.577,"body":"and then I'd go do open"},{"startTime":703.577,"endTime":707.039,"body":"mics at night and"},{"startTime":703.577,"endTime":707.039,"body":"then I got into a couple of clubs. Mhm."},{"startTime":707.748,"endTime":711.21,"body":"The second I got in a couple of clubs"},{"startTime":707.748,"endTime":711.21,"body":"I quit and being a lawyer"},{"startTime":711.21,"endTime":712.878,"body":"I had no money saved. Mhm."},{"startTime":712.878,"endTime":718.551,"body":"And then I that's as in standup in"},{"startTime":712.878,"endTime":718.551,"body":"the late eighties and early nineties. Mhm."},{"startTime":719.176,"endTime":720.01,"body":"Mhm. Yeah."},{"startTime":721.22,"endTime":724.223,"body":"Did you ever do Carey Hoffman's Club."},{"startTime":724.39,"endTime":725.891,"body":"Yeah. Just in, in New York. Right."},{"startTime":725.891,"endTime":728.894,"body":"Did did you ever do one of their"},{"startTime":725.891,"endTime":728.894,"body":"theme shows as a lawyer."},{"startTime":729.019,"endTime":729.353,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":729.353,"endTime":730.771,"body":"No I did not."},{"startTime":730.771,"endTime":731.772,"body":"I didn't like."},{"startTime":731.772,"endTime":734.15,"body":"don't want anyone to know. My name."},{"startTime":734.15,"endTime":734.65,"body":"Or. Yeah."},{"startTime":734.65,"endTime":737.027,"body":"How can you use it again? I'll say."},{"startTime":734.65,"endTime":737.027,"body":"That. Um."},{"startTime":737.027,"endTime":737.278,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":737.278,"endTime":737.653,"body":"What is it?"},{"startTime":737.653,"endTime":741.49,"body":"Really fast food type thing"},{"startTime":737.653,"endTime":741.49,"body":"where you write out and you have to give."},{"startTime":741.49,"endTime":742.908,"body":"You're."},{"startTime":741.49,"endTime":742.908,"body":"This is what I'm doing to the court."},{"startTime":742.908,"endTime":746.454,"body":"Like your little presentation is like"},{"startTime":742.908,"endTime":746.454,"body":"5 minutes of Oh, court, that thing."},{"startTime":746.454,"endTime":746.954,"body":"It's called."},{"startTime":746.954,"endTime":749.749,"body":"So I've a friend currently"},{"startTime":746.954,"endTime":749.749,"body":"right in pandemic."},{"startTime":749.749,"endTime":752.209,"body":"She's a comedian. Okay. Out of No,"},{"startTime":749.749,"endTime":752.209,"body":"not out of nowhere."},{"startTime":752.209,"endTime":753.461,"body":"But she went and got herself"},{"startTime":753.461,"endTime":756.464,"body":"an $80,000 scholarship to law school"},{"startTime":753.461,"endTime":756.464,"body":"and is becoming a lawyer."},{"startTime":756.672,"endTime":759.967,"body":"And she's talking about with"},{"startTime":756.672,"endTime":759.967,"body":"how much of a leg up being a standup."},{"startTime":760.634,"endTime":763.22,"body":"I want to know when you're giving your"},{"startTime":760.634,"endTime":763.22,"body":"what's the word?"},{"startTime":763.22,"endTime":766.223,"body":"Yeah,"},{"startTime":763.22,"endTime":766.223,"body":"it's called like oral argument. Right."},{"startTime":766.223,"endTime":768.35,"body":"So you're doing a practice oral argument."},{"startTime":768.35,"endTime":771.187,"body":"She's like, Daniel,"},{"startTime":768.35,"endTime":771.187,"body":"these people don't even have it memorized."},{"startTime":771.187,"endTime":772.438,"body":"She's like,"},{"startTime":771.187,"endTime":772.438,"body":"they're holding a piece of paper"},{"startTime":772.438,"endTime":774.815,"body":"with their handshake,"},{"startTime":772.438,"endTime":774.815,"body":"and I'm up there killing for 5 minutes."},{"startTime":774.815,"endTime":775.733,"body":"Oh, that's."},{"startTime":775.733,"endTime":778.277,"body":"Nice. The fucking run on this."},{"startTime":778.277,"endTime":779.737,"body":"And that's really. Sweet."},{"startTime":779.737,"endTime":780.863,"body":"So does she want to be a lawyer?"},{"startTime":780.863,"endTime":782.323,"body":"Absolutely. Yeah."},{"startTime":782.323,"endTime":786.535,"body":"She's a very funny performer and writer,"},{"startTime":782.323,"endTime":786.535,"body":"but she sued the shit out of landlords."},{"startTime":786.535,"endTime":787.077,"body":"I'm like."},{"startTime":787.077,"endTime":789.622,"body":"Oh, that's nice."},{"startTime":789.622,"endTime":791.165,"body":"In fucking Los Angeles, California."},{"startTime":791.165,"endTime":792.041,"body":"Oh, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":792.041,"endTime":794.543,"body":"And all of other comedians."},{"startTime":792.041,"endTime":794.543,"body":"So we need to sue our landlord."},{"startTime":794.543,"endTime":795.878,"body":"Wow. Mhm."},{"startTime":795.878,"endTime":798.047,"body":"She has a built in clientele. Exactly."},{"startTime":798.047,"endTime":799.131,"body":"Which is. Ingenious."},{"startTime":799.131,"endTime":800.674,"body":"Well, yeah, I know. I used to."},{"startTime":800.674,"endTime":805.262,"body":"have jury trials and you have this,"},{"startTime":800.674,"endTime":805.262,"body":"you know, captive audience and I'm"},{"startTime":805.846,"endTime":806.847,"body":"was making them."},{"startTime":807.932,"endTime":809.809,"body":"Do. This."},{"startTime":809.809,"endTime":813.187,"body":"One judge in federal court called me up"},{"startTime":809.809,"endTime":813.187,"body":"because I don't know what you're doing"},{"startTime":813.187,"endTime":816.19,"body":"because if you make one more joke"},{"startTime":816.315,"endTime":818.567,"body":"I'm going to know."},{"startTime":818.567,"endTime":821.57,"body":"What in contempt. Oh."},{"startTime":821.779,"endTime":823.113,"body":"So I'm just making jokes."},{"startTime":823.113,"endTime":824.824,"body":"I was joking through the whole thing."},{"startTime":824.824,"endTime":827.326,"body":"But then this other judge loved it."},{"startTime":827.326,"endTime":830.996,"body":"Oh, it was the last trial"},{"startTime":827.326,"endTime":830.996,"body":"I did before I quit."},{"startTime":830.996,"endTime":834.124,"body":"And He called me up and at some conference"},{"startTime":830.996,"endTime":834.124,"body":"because I don't think you're going to"},{"startTime":834.25,"endTime":836.001,"body":"be a lawyer for much longer."},{"startTime":836.001,"endTime":838.212,"body":"Oh, no. That's it."},{"startTime":838.212,"endTime":842.007,"body":"I was like, Yeah, I'm"},{"startTime":838.212,"endTime":842.007,"body":"So then after the trial's over, I said,"},{"startTime":842.007,"endTime":846.804,"body":"Yeah, I'm actually quitting the bench"},{"startTime":842.007,"endTime":846.804,"body":"that that jury came to see me do."},{"startTime":847.888,"endTime":849.682,"body":"Amazing."},{"startTime":849.682,"endTime":851.976,"body":"News handed out. Like,"},{"startTime":849.682,"endTime":851.976,"body":"I don't know what happened, though."},{"startTime":851.976,"endTime":852.977,"body":"I don't know how they found."},{"startTime":852.977,"endTime":855.604,"body":"Out where I was and,"},{"startTime":852.977,"endTime":855.604,"body":"I came to that club and they said."},{"startTime":855.604,"endTime":856.272,"body":"This jury"},{"startTime":857.606,"endTime":858.44,"body":"of your peers."},{"startTime":858.44,"endTime":862.069,"body":"Oh, they said this jury was here"},{"startTime":858.44,"endTime":862.069,"body":"to see you and way they were."},{"startTime":862.611,"endTime":863.988,"body":"And you didn't show up."},{"startTime":863.988,"endTime":865.823,"body":"Oh, no, I missed."},{"startTime":865.823,"endTime":868.2,"body":"That back in the day"},{"startTime":865.823,"endTime":868.2,"body":"when you did a few sets at night every."},{"startTime":868.2,"endTime":868.742,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":868.742,"endTime":870.369,"body":"You should do like three clubs a night."},{"startTime":870.369,"endTime":872.204,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":872.204,"endTime":873.497,"body":"That's sweet though."},{"startTime":873.497,"endTime":874.874,"body":"I like that they were there. There."},{"startTime":874.874,"endTime":876.584,"body":"Oh. Well, good luck to her."},{"startTime":876.584,"endTime":878.127,"body":"Yeah, she's doing great, right?"},{"startTime":878.127,"endTime":881.005,"body":"Just doing it backwards, but fine."},{"startTime":881.005,"endTime":883.549,"body":"I could be a homeowner faster. Yeah."},{"startTime":883.549,"endTime":886.719,"body":"for someone with the legal background,"},{"startTime":883.549,"endTime":886.719,"body":"I feel like that can only kind of help you"},{"startTime":886.76,"endTime":888.345,"body":"on, like, to know"},{"startTime":886.76,"endTime":888.345,"body":"when you're getting ripped off."},{"startTime":888.345,"endTime":892.433,"body":"But does it like, as a Judge Judy viewer,"},{"startTime":888.345,"endTime":892.433,"body":"are you just irate when you watch her?"},{"startTime":892.766,"endTime":894.184,"body":"I you know, I can watch Judge."},{"startTime":894.184,"endTime":895.352,"body":"She's a genius."},{"startTime":895.352,"endTime":898.147,"body":"She's probably is a yeah,"},{"startTime":895.352,"endTime":898.147,"body":"I watch that show."},{"startTime":898.147,"endTime":899.732,"body":"I don't watch comedy"},{"startTime":898.147,"endTime":899.732,"body":"and I don't watch law."},{"startTime":899.732,"endTime":902.776,"body":"Shows for, you know, it's"},{"startTime":899.732,"endTime":902.776,"body":"just like in the open ocean."},{"startTime":904.403,"endTime":906.947,"body":"That's what it's led to"},{"startTime":906.947,"endTime":908.449,"body":"television."},{"startTime":908.449,"endTime":909.867,"body":"You guys have had lawyers."},{"startTime":909.867,"endTime":913.621,"body":"So I'm like, I hate"},{"startTime":909.867,"endTime":913.621,"body":"when people would give me papers to sign."},{"startTime":913.621,"endTime":915.915,"body":"I don't read them. I'm just like,"},{"startTime":913.621,"endTime":915.915,"body":"Yeah, whatever I read."},{"startTime":915.915,"endTime":918.208,"body":"Philosophically,"},{"startTime":915.915,"endTime":918.208,"body":"I sort of want to become a notary public."},{"startTime":918.208,"endTime":920.961,"body":"There's a lady in my neighborhood"},{"startTime":918.208,"endTime":920.961,"body":"who has since like."},{"startTime":920.961,"endTime":923.255,"body":"Right out of the paper."},{"startTime":923.255,"endTime":924.131,"body":"I want to just."},{"startTime":924.131,"endTime":928.761,"body":"This goes but this I think this also goes"},{"startTime":924.131,"endTime":928.761,"body":"back to your You used to collect stamps."},{"startTime":928.802,"endTime":930.554,"body":"Your neighbor stole your stamp."},{"startTime":930.554,"endTime":932.222,"body":"I'm Yeah, You remember that?"},{"startTime":932.222,"endTime":933.349,"body":"Yeah. Well, you know."},{"startTime":933.349,"endTime":936.06,"body":"Did you like that?"},{"startTime":936.06,"endTime":938.479,"body":"Daniel What I"},{"startTime":938.479,"endTime":941.69,"body":"do, Daniel and I really"},{"startTime":938.479,"endTime":941.69,"body":"we were kind of getting"},{"startTime":941.69,"endTime":945.653,"body":"to know each other on this podcast,"},{"startTime":941.69,"endTime":945.653,"body":"and so I remember he said"},{"startTime":945.653,"endTime":947.655,"body":"when he was a kid,"},{"startTime":945.653,"endTime":947.655,"body":"he had a dinosaur stamp,"},{"startTime":947.655,"endTime":952.076,"body":"and one of his few friends, he said"},{"startTime":947.655,"endTime":952.076,"body":"at that time, stole it and said that."},{"startTime":952.076,"endTime":953.953,"body":"She bought it for you? Yes."},{"startTime":953.953,"endTime":955.829,"body":"She was jealous of you and, you."},{"startTime":955.829,"endTime":956.956,"body":"Know, all kinds of levels."},{"startTime":956.956,"endTime":958.791,"body":"But the stamp collection"},{"startTime":956.956,"endTime":958.791,"body":"was just the beginning."},{"startTime":958.791,"endTime":959.959,"body":"And so she stopped."},{"startTime":959.959,"endTime":961.752,"body":"But she had she admitted she."},{"startTime":961.752,"endTime":965.005,"body":"Well, I went to her house"},{"startTime":961.752,"endTime":965.005,"body":"to play with my science for years."},{"startTime":965.297,"endTime":966.799,"body":"And there it is just sitting right there."},{"startTime":966.799,"endTime":968.717,"body":"And it's like, excuse me, you're right."},{"startTime":971.178,"endTime":973.347,"body":"Like my"},{"startTime":971.178,"endTime":973.347,"body":"first early attempts at like being a bitch"},{"startTime":973.347,"endTime":976.35,"body":"and calling somebody or something,"},{"startTime":973.347,"endTime":976.35,"body":"What are you doing?"},{"startTime":976.35,"endTime":979.937,"body":"But I'm still trying to connect it"},{"startTime":976.35,"endTime":979.937,"body":"to your dreams of being a notary."},{"startTime":980.521,"endTime":982.564,"body":"I need a thought. I need it. Yeah."},{"startTime":982.564,"endTime":983.774,"body":"Right, right."},{"startTime":983.774,"endTime":985.985,"body":"Yeah. It's so weird you said that I had."},{"startTime":985.985,"endTime":989.279,"body":"I used to collect fossils, and,"},{"startTime":985.985,"endTime":989.279,"body":"uh, kids up the street,"},{"startTime":989.279,"endTime":992.282,"body":"and I've had this great trilobite."},{"startTime":992.449,"endTime":995.202,"body":"Oh. Oh, one day disappear."},{"startTime":995.202,"endTime":998.08,"body":"Oh, man, I was devastated."},{"startTime":998.08,"endTime":999.665,"body":"Oh, I found it."},{"startTime":999.665,"endTime":1003.669,"body":"a few months later on this other friends,"},{"startTime":999.665,"endTime":1003.669,"body":"like, in the back porch."},{"startTime":1003.794,"endTime":1005.254,"body":"Oh, and I was just."},{"startTime":1005.254,"endTime":1007.464,"body":"I suspected he took it as an. Inside job."},{"startTime":1007.464,"endTime":1009.591,"body":"But another prehistoric art."},{"startTime":1009.591,"endTime":1011.552,"body":"Ha ha ha."},{"startTime":1011.552,"endTime":1012.928,"body":"Yeah, that's."},{"startTime":1012.928,"endTime":1014.888,"body":"People were getting on Jurassic Park. Yes."},{"startTime":1014.888,"endTime":1016.265,"body":"They have to turn it into friendship."},{"startTime":1016.265,"endTime":1018.434,"body":"Did you confront your friend?"},{"startTime":1018.434,"endTime":1019.643,"body":"Oh, it's going."},{"startTime":1019.643,"endTime":1020.561,"body":"Are you two together?"},{"startTime":1020.561,"endTime":1022.855,"body":"Yeah, pretty much. Yeah."},{"startTime":1022.855,"endTime":1023.939,"body":"They're text."},{"startTime":1023.939,"endTime":1025.065,"body":"Well, I knew."},{"startTime":1025.065,"endTime":1027.943,"body":"Daniel was funny"},{"startTime":1025.065,"endTime":1027.943,"body":"because I had seen his stand up, but"},{"startTime":1027.943,"endTime":1031.947,"body":"my husband Garrett was friends"},{"startTime":1027.943,"endTime":1031.947,"body":"with Daniel And Ben and Myrna."},{"startTime":1031.989,"endTime":1033.49,"body":"Yeah. Yeah, they're mutual friends."},{"startTime":1033.49,"endTime":1038.537,"body":"And I thought, well, I can't, you know,"},{"startTime":1033.49,"endTime":1038.537,"body":"I can't do a podcast like everybody else."},{"startTime":1038.537,"endTime":1041.29,"body":"And then I said, Yeah, now I want to,"},{"startTime":1038.537,"endTime":1041.29,"body":"but I can't do it alone."},{"startTime":1041.29,"endTime":1044.877,"body":"And so so we became, we decided"},{"startTime":1041.29,"endTime":1044.877,"body":"because most friendships out here"},{"startTime":1044.877,"endTime":1047.212,"body":"are kind of utilitarian,"},{"startTime":1044.877,"endTime":1047.212,"body":"like you become friends with you,"},{"startTime":1047.212,"endTime":1049.298,"body":"you can be friends"},{"startTime":1047.212,"endTime":1049.298,"body":"or marry a wardrobe person."},{"startTime":1049.298,"endTime":1050.09,"body":"Oh yeah."},{"startTime":1050.09,"endTime":1053.635,"body":"And they said, Well, maybe we should"},{"startTime":1050.09,"endTime":1053.635,"body":"become friends over this podcast."},{"startTime":1054.303,"endTime":1056.096,"body":"Yeah. Oh, thank you."},{"startTime":1056.096,"endTime":1058.015,"body":"And it seems like"},{"startTime":1056.096,"endTime":1058.015,"body":"you two are getting along."},{"startTime":1058.015,"endTime":1059.516,"body":"Yeah, I think so."},{"startTime":1059.516,"endTime":1061.143,"body":"Yeah. I haven't gone."},{"startTime":1061.143,"endTime":1062.978,"body":"I haven't."},{"startTime":1061.143,"endTime":1062.978,"body":"I haven't gone to his place. I don't know."},{"startTime":1064.104,"endTime":1065.814,"body":"I still."},{"startTime":1065.814,"endTime":1066.648,"body":"I have so much crap."},{"startTime":1066.648,"endTime":1068.984,"body":"I don't know what Daniel's stolen from me."},{"startTime":1068.984,"endTime":1074.448,"body":"But I have gold wallpaper she's trying to"},{"startTime":1068.984,"endTime":1074.448,"body":"shove on me, which I do want."},{"startTime":1074.656,"endTime":1075.199,"body":"Oh, God."},{"startTime":1075.199,"endTime":1076.075,"body":"Did you decide."},{"startTime":1076.075,"endTime":1078.952,"body":"You're always trying to give stuff away?"},{"startTime":1078.952,"endTime":1079.578,"body":"I'm kind of."},{"startTime":1079.578,"endTime":1085.209,"body":"I'm slowly preparing either"},{"startTime":1079.578,"endTime":1085.209,"body":"for the assisted living center or really."},{"startTime":1085.209,"endTime":1089.379,"body":"I think we're going to wind up living in"},{"startTime":1085.209,"endTime":1089.379,"body":"Ireland, so I want to just get disbanded."},{"startTime":1089.421,"endTime":1090.881,"body":"And that's what you can do. Okay. Yeah."},{"startTime":1090.881,"endTime":1092.633,"body":"What is it"},{"startTime":1090.881,"endTime":1092.633,"body":"When people start giving things away"},{"startTime":1092.633,"endTime":1094.718,"body":"Like cats"},{"startTime":1092.633,"endTime":1094.718,"body":"before they wander off into the woods"},{"startTime":1094.718,"endTime":1096.136,"body":"today,"},{"startTime":1094.718,"endTime":1096.136,"body":"they give away all their possessions?"},{"startTime":1096.136,"endTime":1098.68,"body":"Oh, they do?"},{"startTime":1098.68,"endTime":1102.726,"body":"No. But I had imagined that I might die"},{"startTime":1098.68,"endTime":1102.726,"body":"under a house"},{"startTime":1103.435,"endTime":1106.438,"body":"like a dog or a cat"},{"startTime":1107.397,"endTime":1108.607,"body":"I play."},{"startTime":1108.607,"endTime":1110.609,"body":"There's a lot of. A. Lot of bodies."},{"startTime":1111.86,"endTime":1113.195,"body":"In the earthquake."},{"startTime":1113.195,"endTime":1115.572,"body":"Tons of opportunities."},{"startTime":1113.195,"endTime":1115.572,"body":"Worked in New York forever."},{"startTime":1115.572,"endTime":1119.201,"body":"When you get to play with"},{"startTime":1115.572,"endTime":1119.201,"body":"You're getting this right back on track?"},{"startTime":1119.409,"endTime":1121.286,"body":"I think. Isn't it good?"},{"startTime":1121.286,"endTime":1122.412,"body":"Daniel, You're amazing."},{"startTime":1122.412,"endTime":1123.372,"body":"He keeps a thread going."},{"startTime":1123.372,"endTime":1125.29,"body":"Excited but to change topic."},{"startTime":1125.29,"endTime":1128.293,"body":"But I asked you, how."},{"startTime":1128.502,"endTime":1129.962,"body":"Did you move to Los Angeles?"},{"startTime":1129.962,"endTime":1133.715,"body":"When I did, he moved out here"},{"startTime":1129.962,"endTime":1133.715,"body":"to take over The Tonight Show."},{"startTime":1133.715,"endTime":1134.55,"body":"Yeah, for that."},{"startTime":1134.55,"endTime":1136.718,"body":"And I moved out for that in 2000."},{"startTime":1136.718,"endTime":1140.139,"body":"Uh, crazy thing where they're like, in"},{"startTime":1136.718,"endTime":1140.139,"body":"four years, Conan's taking over"},{"startTime":1140.139,"endTime":1140.973,"body":"the tonight."},{"startTime":1140.973,"endTime":1143.892,"body":"Oh, everybody knew that was not something"},{"startTime":1140.973,"endTime":1143.892,"body":"that."},{"startTime":1143.892,"endTime":1144.351,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":1144.351,"endTime":1147.688,"body":"That was now"},{"startTime":1144.351,"endTime":1147.688,"body":"there was a date and everybody had agreed."},{"startTime":1147.896,"endTime":1149.273,"body":"That's what I was kind of crazy. Yeah."},{"startTime":1149.273,"endTime":1152.818,"body":"Because to me, like, show"},{"startTime":1149.273,"endTime":1152.818,"body":"biz is like the element of surprise"},{"startTime":1153.318,"endTime":1156.029,"body":"in movie comes out"},{"startTime":1153.318,"endTime":1156.029,"body":"that people aren't expecting."},{"startTime":1156.029,"endTime":1161.743,"body":"And then and so this was kind of love"},{"startTime":1156.029,"endTime":1161.743,"body":"was like NBC turned into a bank."},{"startTime":1164.788,"endTime":1166.039,"body":"Taking over it."},{"startTime":1166.039,"endTime":1167.958,"body":"It seems like it good yeah."},{"startTime":1167.958,"endTime":1169.793,"body":"Yeah I feel like that had never been done."},{"startTime":1169.793,"endTime":1171.42,"body":"Before, but correct."},{"startTime":1171.42,"endTime":1173.13,"body":"That's what we were doing."},{"startTime":1173.13,"endTime":1177.926,"body":"Yes. And, uh, the nice thing was we had,"},{"startTime":1173.13,"endTime":1177.926,"body":"uh, four years to look for a house."},{"startTime":1178.051,"endTime":1179.803,"body":"Yeah. Yes."},{"startTime":1179.803,"endTime":1180.053,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1180.053,"endTime":1182.639,"body":"So I moved out from college,"},{"startTime":1180.053,"endTime":1182.639,"body":"so I worked with him."},{"startTime":1182.639,"endTime":1187.686,"body":"I started in 1995 by the late night"},{"startTime":1182.639,"endTime":1187.686,"body":"and at Rockefeller Center."},{"startTime":1187.811,"endTime":1190.439,"body":"Uh, um. And then in 2008,"},{"startTime":1187.811,"endTime":1190.439,"body":"we moved out here."},{"startTime":1190.439,"endTime":1195.485,"body":"I did the Tonight Show for seven months,"},{"startTime":1190.439,"endTime":1195.485,"body":"then went on a national tour. Yes."},{"startTime":1195.777,"endTime":1198.322,"body":"And then we did the show at TBS. So we."},{"startTime":1198.322,"endTime":1201.909,"body":"How long was the run"},{"startTime":1198.322,"endTime":1201.909,"body":"before the debacle at The Tonight Show?"},{"startTime":1201.909,"endTime":1203.869,"body":"How long do y'all have it?"},{"startTime":1203.869,"endTime":1206.288,"body":"It feels like before it."},{"startTime":1206.288,"endTime":1209.583,"body":"Before they dimension change, I."},{"startTime":1209.75,"endTime":1210.709,"body":"Change. Bank owners,"},{"startTime":1213.045,"endTime":1214.463,"body":"the old bank owner."},{"startTime":1214.463,"endTime":1216.048,"body":"Now I'm confused."},{"startTime":1216.048,"endTime":1218.842,"body":"I know it's a crazy story"},{"startTime":1216.048,"endTime":1218.842,"body":"and everybody's you."},{"startTime":1218.842,"endTime":1219.676,"body":"Start each."},{"startTime":1219.676,"endTime":1223.055,"body":"Player involved each process talked"},{"startTime":1219.676,"endTime":1223.055,"body":"about it separately but not together."},{"startTime":1223.055,"endTime":1225.14,"body":"Now that time has passed. Right? Right."},{"startTime":1225.14,"endTime":1227.601,"body":"And I think it's usually broken down"},{"startTime":1225.14,"endTime":1227.601,"body":"to Jay and Colin. Right."},{"startTime":1227.601,"endTime":1228.81,"body":"Those are the two people in. Sure."},{"startTime":1228.81,"endTime":1230.979,"body":"Measuring people totally lose the fact"},{"startTime":1230.979,"endTime":1234.775,"body":"that an entire staff"},{"startTime":1230.979,"endTime":1234.775,"body":"moved across the conference."},{"startTime":1234.816,"endTime":1238.528,"body":"Yes. Families,"},{"startTime":1234.816,"endTime":1238.528,"body":"everybody has something to lose. Yes."},{"startTime":1238.528,"endTime":1240.864,"body":"Property out of that."},{"startTime":1238.528,"endTime":1240.864,"body":"I mean, not just your job."},{"startTime":1240.864,"endTime":1243.867,"body":"I think that part is totally lost"},{"startTime":1240.864,"endTime":1243.867,"body":"and that is the."},{"startTime":1243.909,"endTime":1246.578,"body":"Discourse that people just talk about,"},{"startTime":1243.909,"endTime":1246.578,"body":"the hopes."},{"startTime":1246.578,"endTime":1248.163,"body":"Who wanted that ego. Right."},{"startTime":1248.163,"endTime":1249.831,"body":"Which would totally part of it. Right."},{"startTime":1249.831,"endTime":1251.583,"body":"But that's an interesting like."},{"startTime":1251.583,"endTime":1254.586,"body":"CONAN move the whole ship."},{"startTime":1254.711,"endTime":1258.006,"body":"But that also proves that"},{"startTime":1254.711,"endTime":1258.006,"body":"that CONAN is a good guy"},{"startTime":1258.006,"endTime":1261.051,"body":"because he could have said,"},{"startTime":1258.006,"endTime":1261.051,"body":"fuck it, I'll get a staff out in L.A."},{"startTime":1261.26,"endTime":1262.427,"body":"Right, Right."},{"startTime":1262.427,"endTime":1265.264,"body":"They took everybody with you"},{"startTime":1262.427,"endTime":1265.264,"body":"or you're under contracts."},{"startTime":1265.264,"endTime":1265.43,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1265.43,"endTime":1267.015,"body":"Yeah, no, everyone was invited."},{"startTime":1267.015,"endTime":1269.142,"body":"And then some people like that."},{"startTime":1269.142,"endTime":1270.31,"body":"I'm going to stay in New York."},{"startTime":1270.31,"endTime":1272.521,"body":"Oh, people moved, afterwards,"},{"startTime":1272.521,"endTime":1276.149,"body":"you know, when everything imploded,"},{"startTime":1272.521,"endTime":1276.149,"body":"he helped for people, for a while."},{"startTime":1276.275,"endTime":1280.779,"body":"Mm But, you know, I remember going out,"},{"startTime":1276.275,"endTime":1280.779,"body":"you know, a year or two before the show,"},{"startTime":1281.071,"endTime":1284.074,"body":"and they're like, Oh, we're building"},{"startTime":1281.071,"endTime":1284.074,"body":"this whole new studio for you."},{"startTime":1284.074,"endTime":1286.994,"body":"Oh, no, it was studio, right?"},{"startTime":1286.994,"endTime":1289.413,"body":"Radford Right. No. Universal"},{"startTime":1286.994,"endTime":1289.413,"body":"Oh, we're right with it."},{"startTime":1289.413,"endTime":1295.043,"body":"And we went and they gutted it and we went"},{"startTime":1289.413,"endTime":1295.043,"body":"to look at the footprint of the studio."},{"startTime":1295.127,"endTime":1298.797,"body":"And the second I saw it was like"},{"startTime":1295.127,"endTime":1298.797,"body":"it was too wide"},{"startTime":1299.548,"endTime":1303.802,"body":"and it was like the biggest mistake"},{"startTime":1299.548,"endTime":1303.802,"body":"I think, to make, especially comedy"},{"startTime":1304.469,"endTime":1308.39,"body":"in live audiences on television, like,"},{"startTime":1304.469,"endTime":1308.39,"body":"I don't care how big the crowd."},{"startTime":1308.724,"endTime":1309.433,"body":"Yeah, but."},{"startTime":1309.433,"endTime":1314.229,"body":"I remember some weird one off late night"},{"startTime":1309.433,"endTime":1314.229,"body":"shows in the eighties and nineties"},{"startTime":1314.396,"endTime":1318.442,"body":"where the that camera would sweep like,"},{"startTime":1314.396,"endTime":1318.442,"body":"you know, 400 people"},{"startTime":1318.442,"endTime":1319.985,"body":"and it's like, that's not good."},{"startTime":1321.57,"endTime":1324.823,"body":"And acoustics"},{"startTime":1321.57,"endTime":1324.823,"body":"sucked, too, if you're on stage."},{"startTime":1324.823,"endTime":1325.198,"body":"Yeah, sure."},{"startTime":1325.198,"endTime":1326.7,"body":"The audience was 700 people."},{"startTime":1326.7,"endTime":1327.993,"body":"Oh my God. Why?"},{"startTime":1327.993,"endTime":1328.744,"body":"Yeah, I mean."},{"startTime":1328.744,"endTime":1332.122,"body":"Yes, but I know and they think"},{"startTime":1328.744,"endTime":1332.122,"body":"that's like, you know, cash it."},{"startTime":1332.456,"endTime":1335.042,"body":"But for actual comedy"},{"startTime":1332.456,"endTime":1335.042,"body":"in one of your comedy, do"},{"startTime":1335.042,"endTime":1339.004,"body":"well as you know like you want this"},{"startTime":1335.042,"endTime":1339.004,"body":"a low ceiling."},{"startTime":1339.004,"endTime":1341.298,"body":"You want intimacy,"},{"startTime":1339.004,"endTime":1341.298,"body":"you want people packed in."},{"startTime":1341.298,"endTime":1344.301,"body":"Yeah you want a fire hazard."},{"startTime":1345.093,"endTime":1347.012,"body":"A reason to stay."},{"startTime":1347.012,"endTime":1349.639,"body":"I was just like, oh, I how funny."},{"startTime":1349.639,"endTime":1353.852,"body":"Well, because New York was 198"},{"startTime":1349.639,"endTime":1353.852,"body":"people steeply raised"},{"startTime":1354.061,"endTime":1356.938,"body":"fairly steeply rate, small contained."},{"startTime":1356.938,"endTime":1359.441,"body":"And I knew this is more of a bar."},{"startTime":1359.441,"endTime":1360.901,"body":"And I mean, the crowds were great."},{"startTime":1360.901,"endTime":1364.279,"body":"Yeah, I just"},{"startTime":1360.901,"endTime":1364.279,"body":"I remember, like, little moments"},{"startTime":1364.279,"endTime":1367.449,"body":"where I'm like, I don't like this."},{"startTime":1367.657,"endTime":1372.371,"body":"I feel like I, saw you there at that"},{"startTime":1367.657,"endTime":1372.371,"body":"studio did you direct any of the shows?"},{"startTime":1372.621,"endTime":1375.248,"body":"No, but I know. Okay. So you had"},{"startTime":1372.621,"endTime":1375.248,"body":"you just were."},{"startTime":1375.248,"endTime":1378.085,"body":"I had one of those heads. Yeah,"},{"startTime":1375.248,"endTime":1378.085,"body":"I had that."},{"startTime":1378.085,"endTime":1379.669,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":1379.669,"endTime":1381.713,"body":"And so when you told me"},{"startTime":1379.669,"endTime":1381.713,"body":"that you didn't know."},{"startTime":1381.713,"endTime":1382.506,"body":"No. Okay."},{"startTime":1382.506,"endTime":1385.634,"body":"No, but anyway,"},{"startTime":1382.506,"endTime":1385.634,"body":"but I remember I, I, I agree."},{"startTime":1385.675,"endTime":1388.845,"body":"I remember thinking to like"},{"startTime":1385.675,"endTime":1388.845,"body":"I mean, the audience was so far away."},{"startTime":1389.262,"endTime":1390.222,"body":"It seemed like."},{"startTime":1390.222,"endTime":1392.682,"body":"Maybe a little more. Than usual."},{"startTime":1392.682,"endTime":1394.559,"body":"Yeah,"},{"startTime":1392.682,"endTime":1394.559,"body":"it didn't seem quite as intimate, but."},{"startTime":1394.559,"endTime":1395.894,"body":"Yeah, but absolutely."},{"startTime":1395.894,"endTime":1397.896,"body":"I mean, the shows were going fine,"},{"startTime":1395.894,"endTime":1397.896,"body":"I thought,"},{"startTime":1397.896,"endTime":1401.65,"body":"and I just always thought,"},{"startTime":1397.896,"endTime":1401.65,"body":"well, will have time."},{"startTime":1402.109,"endTime":1405.278,"body":"So I was more worried about the things"},{"startTime":1402.109,"endTime":1405.278,"body":"that were,"},{"startTime":1405.946,"endTime":1408.532,"body":"you know,"},{"startTime":1405.946,"endTime":1408.532,"body":"where it seemed like we were pressing. Mm."},{"startTime":1408.532,"endTime":1410.909,"body":"Yeah. Yeah. That would be the natural."},{"startTime":1410.909,"endTime":1413.662,"body":"And then you know, the just this, that"},{"startTime":1413.662,"endTime":1417.707,"body":"this phone call came like"},{"startTime":1413.662,"endTime":1417.707,"body":"come outside the building."},{"startTime":1417.707,"endTime":1420.544,"body":"I'm like, no, what's going on. Yeah."},{"startTime":1420.544,"endTime":1424.506,"body":"Oh, and our producer Jeff Ross were like,"},{"startTime":1420.544,"endTime":1424.506,"body":"can you come outside?"},{"startTime":1424.798,"endTime":1427.509,"body":"They were just like, Let's not even talk"},{"startTime":1424.798,"endTime":1427.509,"body":"in the building like it was."},{"startTime":1427.509,"endTime":1430.512,"body":"Oh, wow. Yeah. Hiding in the closet."},{"startTime":1430.554,"endTime":1431.179,"body":"Right, right, right."},{"startTime":1432.514,"endTime":1433.056,"body":"I mean, I think"},{"startTime":1433.056,"endTime":1436.685,"body":"it was more like,"},{"startTime":1433.056,"endTime":1436.685,"body":"Let's go for a walk out of the building."},{"startTime":1436.81,"endTime":1437.936,"body":"Did you think you were getting fired?"},{"startTime":1437.936,"endTime":1438.854,"body":"No, no, no."},{"startTime":1438.854,"endTime":1441.857,"body":"Yeah, Honestly, Fingers crossed."},{"startTime":1442.315,"endTime":1446.069,"body":"No. And we just walked and they said,"},{"startTime":1442.315,"endTime":1446.069,"body":"Well, here's what's going on."},{"startTime":1446.069,"endTime":1447.571,"body":"They they want to bring,"},{"startTime":1447.571,"endTime":1452.033,"body":"you know, Shay back at 1130"},{"startTime":1447.571,"endTime":1452.033,"body":"and we'd go on at 1205 and, you know."},{"startTime":1452.159,"endTime":1453.577,"body":"And here's hoping really fast."},{"startTime":1453.577,"endTime":1456.121,"body":"We had also not known"},{"startTime":1453.577,"endTime":1456.121,"body":"that she was going to"},{"startTime":1456.121,"endTime":1459.875,"body":"do a monologue and have one guest"},{"startTime":1456.121,"endTime":1459.875,"body":"and do like a 30 minute show."},{"startTime":1459.875,"endTime":1460.375,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":1460.375,"endTime":1464.546,"body":"Which it's like, hello, That's the first"},{"startTime":1460.375,"endTime":1464.546,"body":"half of the content of any Late Show."},{"startTime":1464.921,"endTime":1465.589,"body":"Is that so?"},{"startTime":1465.589,"endTime":1468.758,"body":"Who the fuck wants to watch"},{"startTime":1465.589,"endTime":1468.758,"body":"another monologue and another, Right."},{"startTime":1468.8,"endTime":1469.718,"body":"The first guest."},{"startTime":1469.718,"endTime":1472.804,"body":"Well, here was the other thing"},{"startTime":1469.718,"endTime":1472.804,"body":"that was obviously really"},{"startTime":1472.804,"endTime":1476.141,"body":"bad was we're counting down"},{"startTime":1472.804,"endTime":1476.141,"body":"to doing The Tonight Show."},{"startTime":1476.141,"endTime":1479.186,"body":"And then I get called into the office"},{"startTime":1476.141,"endTime":1479.186,"body":"in New York"},{"startTime":1479.561,"endTime":1483.44,"body":"like they just announced"},{"startTime":1479.561,"endTime":1483.44,"body":"Jay's going to do a 10 p.m."},{"startTime":1483.44,"endTime":1484.232,"body":"show."},{"startTime":1484.232,"endTime":1485.358,"body":"Wow. Yeah."},{"startTime":1485.358,"endTime":1489.321,"body":"Yeah, he did a one man show"},{"startTime":1485.358,"endTime":1489.321,"body":"and it was local news on The Tonight Show."},{"startTime":1489.654,"endTime":1492.699,"body":"And, you know that's really bad."},{"startTime":1492.699,"endTime":1495.494,"body":"And who is? It's The Tonight Show"},{"startTime":1492.699,"endTime":1495.494,"body":"before The Tonight Show. Yeah."},{"startTime":1495.494,"endTime":1498.163,"body":"And obviously that's not good."},{"startTime":1498.163,"endTime":1499.789,"body":"But, you know, we had to go."},{"startTime":1499.789,"endTime":1502.792,"body":"Well, okay,"},{"startTime":1499.789,"endTime":1502.792,"body":"so this year the cards now that are"},{"startTime":1502.834,"endTime":1505.378,"body":"and like it'll be okay"},{"startTime":1502.834,"endTime":1505.378,"body":"it'll be okay but you know."},{"startTime":1505.378,"endTime":1506.379,"body":"Because what are your options?"},{"startTime":1506.379,"endTime":1508.465,"body":"You know,"},{"startTime":1506.379,"endTime":1508.465,"body":"there were no options. No options."},{"startTime":1508.465,"endTime":1511.551,"body":"and it was like NBC"},{"startTime":1508.465,"endTime":1511.551,"body":"putting themselves into this corner"},{"startTime":1512.052,"endTime":1513.053,"body":"and it was getting smaller."},{"startTime":1513.053,"endTime":1518.517,"body":"And so so there was j 10 to 11 and now"},{"startTime":1513.053,"endTime":1518.517,"body":"it's how about Jay 1130 to midnight?"},{"startTime":1518.517,"endTime":1519.309,"body":"And it's like."},{"startTime":1519.309,"endTime":1520.81,"body":"Wow, yeah, that's."},{"startTime":1520.81,"endTime":1524.731,"body":"Just where it was like,"},{"startTime":1520.81,"endTime":1524.731,"body":"almost like, okay, I'm getting off this."},{"startTime":1524.731,"endTime":1526.733,"body":"Trip, which is what they meant to happen."},{"startTime":1526.733,"endTime":1528.86,"body":"Yeah, because they couldn't fire him"},{"startTime":1526.733,"endTime":1528.86,"body":"and they needed him."},{"startTime":1528.86,"endTime":1530.82,"body":"So I really, yeah."},{"startTime":1530.82,"endTime":1533.156,"body":"I mean, really cost them too"},{"startTime":1530.82,"endTime":1533.156,"body":"much. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":1533.156,"endTime":1534.366,"body":"And also who didn't remember it."},{"startTime":1534.366,"endTime":1536.743,"body":"Like the fatal flaw of the 10 p.m., right?"},{"startTime":1536.743,"endTime":1539.496,"body":"Whoopi Goldberg had won, Chevy"},{"startTime":1536.743,"endTime":1539.496,"body":"Chase had won, and then."},{"startTime":1539.496,"endTime":1541.915,"body":"I did Chevy Chase, which is a ten."},{"startTime":1541.915,"endTime":1544.584,"body":"Or was that little?"},{"startTime":1541.915,"endTime":1544.584,"body":"There may have been 11."},{"startTime":1544.584,"endTime":1548.255,"body":"Daniel knows more than he needs to"},{"startTime":1544.584,"endTime":1548.255,"body":"about this kind of that."},{"startTime":1548.838,"endTime":1551.341,"body":"But Eichler were both. Wow."},{"startTime":1554.219,"endTime":1555.845,"body":"And people can't watch that."},{"startTime":1555.845,"endTime":1558.431,"body":"Just there's a gap there. Right."},{"startTime":1558.431,"endTime":1562.852,"body":"And because you know couldn't"},{"startTime":1558.431,"endTime":1562.852,"body":"get offered the 11:00 spot on Fox"},{"startTime":1563.353,"endTime":1567.19,"body":"and and I guess there was this belief"},{"startTime":1563.353,"endTime":1567.19,"body":"that 11 was not great"},{"startTime":1567.19,"endTime":1569.734,"body":"for some reason"},{"startTime":1567.19,"endTime":1569.734,"body":"like people watching news that or."},{"startTime":1569.734,"endTime":1572.737,"body":"When I mean I do I love local news"},{"startTime":1569.734,"endTime":1572.737,"body":"yeah I do"},{"startTime":1572.737,"endTime":1576.199,"body":"what do you actually watch about says"},{"startTime":1572.737,"endTime":1576.199,"body":"oh my God it's the best."},{"startTime":1576.199,"endTime":1578.201,"body":"What what do you what's your. Local."},{"startTime":1578.201,"endTime":1580.662,"body":"I watch cow. Because she's."},{"startTime":1580.662,"endTime":1582.372,"body":"They're the CBS. CBS."},{"startTime":1582.372,"endTime":1584.207,"body":"So first of all"},{"startTime":1582.372,"endTime":1584.207,"body":"the weather girl is the best."},{"startTime":1584.207,"endTime":1588.003,"body":"I don't want to have her, but she"},{"startTime":1584.207,"endTime":1588.003,"body":"she has this like story arc"},{"startTime":1588.003,"endTime":1591.423,"body":"in every segment, whether it's a bumper"},{"startTime":1588.003,"endTime":1591.423,"body":"or the actual forecast."},{"startTime":1591.423,"endTime":1594.467,"body":"Yeah,"},{"startTime":1591.423,"endTime":1594.467,"body":"she starts out really high on Saturday."},{"startTime":1594.509,"endTime":1597.178,"body":"Temperatures are going to soar."},{"startTime":1594.509,"endTime":1597.178,"body":"And this is a really dramatic day."},{"startTime":1597.178,"endTime":1601.516,"body":"And right by the end of it,"},{"startTime":1597.178,"endTime":1601.516,"body":"she's got this all 000, Lord."},{"startTime":1602.35,"endTime":1604.561,"body":"When did they become cocktail waitresses?"},{"startTime":1604.561,"endTime":1607.397,"body":"That's"},{"startTime":1604.561,"endTime":1607.397,"body":"when I went. How everyone looks so sexy."},{"startTime":1608.44,"endTime":1609.065,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1609.065,"endTime":1611.026,"body":"Going to fuck up"},{"startTime":1609.065,"endTime":1611.026,"body":"twice in the first 5 minutes. Guaranteed."},{"startTime":1611.026,"endTime":1613.82,"body":"It's so fun. It's always a blooper."},{"startTime":1611.026,"endTime":1613.82,"body":"There's always."},{"startTime":1613.82,"endTime":1616.406,"body":"Oh. There's always someone out"},{"startTime":1613.82,"endTime":1616.406,"body":"at the shore."},{"startTime":1616.406,"endTime":1617.657,"body":"Yeah. The bet you."},{"startTime":1617.657,"endTime":1619.242,"body":"And the camera about Wilson."},{"startTime":1619.242,"endTime":1622.704,"body":"And it's one of the last places I think"},{"startTime":1619.242,"endTime":1622.704,"body":"I talk about this a lot, but it's like"},{"startTime":1622.704,"endTime":1626.041,"body":"we're in the last places where people"},{"startTime":1622.704,"endTime":1626.041,"body":"who They're unpolished, right?"},{"startTime":1626.124,"endTime":1627.876,"body":"Not like The Gong Show, right?"},{"startTime":1627.876,"endTime":1630.879,"body":"People who were on television"},{"startTime":1627.876,"endTime":1630.879,"body":"but didn't know they were on TV."},{"startTime":1631.212,"endTime":1631.588,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":1631.588,"endTime":1634.591,"body":"people who are on local news as guests"},{"startTime":1631.588,"endTime":1634.591,"body":"or like man on the street,"},{"startTime":1635.592,"endTime":1636.926,"body":"unpolished. Yeah."},{"startTime":1636.926,"endTime":1639.262,"body":"They're not ready to be photographed"},{"startTime":1636.926,"endTime":1639.262,"body":"kind of thing."},{"startTime":1639.262,"endTime":1641.931,"body":"But yeah. I think everyone's so"},{"startTime":1639.262,"endTime":1641.931,"body":"camera savvy."},{"startTime":1641.931,"endTime":1642.849,"body":"Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":1642.849,"endTime":1647.479,"body":"Like, do you ever see old like"},{"startTime":1642.849,"endTime":1647.479,"body":"Robert Morrow reports from the fifties?"},{"startTime":1647.479,"endTime":1649.814,"body":"Like old early television."},{"startTime":1649.814,"endTime":1651.983,"body":"A lot of the man on the streets back then,"},{"startTime":1651.983,"endTime":1656.196,"body":"That's where people really didn't know"},{"startTime":1651.983,"endTime":1656.196,"body":"about cameras. Mm."},{"startTime":1656.863,"endTime":1658.823,"body":"So it's such a wonderful."},{"startTime":1658.823,"endTime":1661.117,"body":"I feel like it's a window back to life"},{"startTime":1662.118,"endTime":1663.328,"body":"before World War"},{"startTime":1663.328,"endTime":1666.331,"body":"You all, you know,"},{"startTime":1663.328,"endTime":1666.331,"body":"almost before World War two."},{"startTime":1666.331,"endTime":1669.042,"body":"But just that innocence,"},{"startTime":1666.331,"endTime":1669.042,"body":"that American innocence"},{"startTime":1669.042,"endTime":1671.836,"body":"of not even knowing to look at it."},{"startTime":1671.836,"endTime":1674.756,"body":"Uh huh. And and so unaffected."},{"startTime":1674.756,"endTime":1676.508,"body":"There's no camera. There, right? Yeah."},{"startTime":1676.508,"endTime":1680.804,"body":"I feel like now people are especially in"},{"startTime":1676.508,"endTime":1680.804,"body":"L.A., Oh my God, I'm an eyewitness."},{"startTime":1680.804,"endTime":1681.179,"body":"I know."},{"startTime":1681.179,"endTime":1681.596,"body":"Just what?"},{"startTime":1681.596,"endTime":1684.599,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1687.143,"endTime":1688.103,"body":"old man with a ponytail."},{"startTime":1688.103,"endTime":1688.937,"body":"So gross."},{"startTime":1688.937,"endTime":1691.94,"body":"It's like Old Man of the Year."},{"startTime":1688.937,"endTime":1691.94,"body":"Ponytail is."},{"startTime":1691.94,"endTime":1695.026,"body":"Especially"},{"startTime":1691.94,"endTime":1695.026,"body":"if the hair's almost gone in front. Oh."},{"startTime":1695.568,"endTime":1696.152,"body":"Yeah. Agree."},{"startTime":1696.152,"endTime":1699.155,"body":"That is the. Oh,"},{"startTime":1696.152,"endTime":1699.155,"body":"it is absolutely horrible."},{"startTime":1699.155,"endTime":1701.491,"body":"It makes me sad. Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":1701.491,"endTime":1705.036,"body":"It's like a acoustic guitar"},{"startTime":1701.491,"endTime":1705.036,"body":"that's like youth choir."},{"startTime":1705.203,"endTime":1705.912,"body":"It's like."},{"startTime":1705.912,"endTime":1707.664,"body":"It's like somebody"},{"startTime":1705.912,"endTime":1707.664,"body":"pulled your hair from behind"},{"startTime":1707.664,"endTime":1709.958,"body":"and it stayed there,"},{"startTime":1707.664,"endTime":1709.958,"body":"like, halfway on your head."},{"startTime":1711.292,"endTime":1712.752,"body":"It's like, Oh."},{"startTime":1712.752,"endTime":1715.755,"body":"And the worse is when you"},{"startTime":1712.752,"endTime":1715.755,"body":"when you're seeing them from the front."},{"startTime":1716.131,"endTime":1720.802,"body":"So you're, you're like, oh, and then they"},{"startTime":1716.131,"endTime":1720.802,"body":"turn around, you're like, oh, yeah, oh."},{"startTime":1722.137,"endTime":1723.471,"body":"Oh, oh."},{"startTime":1723.471,"endTime":1725.181,"body":"I worked at a restaurant"},{"startTime":1723.471,"endTime":1725.181,"body":"with this old queen."},{"startTime":1725.181,"endTime":1727.517,"body":"He was he was probably 48 at the time."},{"startTime":1727.517,"endTime":1732.313,"body":"He just he was saying exactly"},{"startTime":1727.517,"endTime":1732.313,"body":"what we're describing about Ponytail."},{"startTime":1732.731,"endTime":1735.567,"body":"And he had had long nails,"},{"startTime":1732.731,"endTime":1735.567,"body":"which is not a good look, old man."},{"startTime":1735.567,"endTime":1737.902,"body":"And these fucking mutton chops, Right."},{"startTime":1737.902,"endTime":1740.238,"body":"Ooh, he looks like your aunt is."},{"startTime":1740.238,"endTime":1743.241,"body":"Oh, and he would. Be."},{"startTime":1744.242,"endTime":1745.493,"body":"Like a 48 year old server."},{"startTime":1745.493,"endTime":1746.911,"body":"Well, he would wait tables."},{"startTime":1746.911,"endTime":1749.914,"body":"He'd sit there and play"},{"startTime":1746.911,"endTime":1749.914,"body":"with the curled up ponytail, which is."},{"startTime":1750.165,"endTime":1752.208,"body":"That's unsanitary."},{"startTime":1752.208,"endTime":1753.835,"body":"That's hair. And your food."},{"startTime":1753.835,"endTime":1756.296,"body":"When I. Oh,"},{"startTime":1753.835,"endTime":1756.296,"body":"you're supposed to play with that much."},{"startTime":1756.296,"endTime":1758.965,"body":"Yeah, yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":1758.965,"endTime":1762.761,"body":"But that, that image is burned in my brain"},{"startTime":1758.965,"endTime":1762.761,"body":"is what I understand with that."},{"startTime":1763.052,"endTime":1763.928,"body":"But he's. Also funny."},{"startTime":1763.928,"endTime":1765.18,"body":"He'd tell you all kinds of stuff."},{"startTime":1765.18,"endTime":1767.307,"body":"I'm like, Never dance on a roundtable."},{"startTime":1767.307,"endTime":1768.641,"body":"Oh, that is."},{"startTime":1768.641,"endTime":1771.144,"body":"Why you fall off the a."},{"startTime":1771.144,"endTime":1772.771,"body":"Flip over."},{"startTime":1771.144,"endTime":1772.771,"body":"It's not structurally sound from"},{"startTime":1773.938,"endTime":1777.567,"body":"you. Enough of your old history."},{"startTime":1777.567,"endTime":1778.735,"body":"With intellectuals."},{"startTime":1778.735,"endTime":1781.738,"body":"I call it faggy,"},{"startTime":1783.531,"endTime":1785.7,"body":"and I can say that."},{"startTime":1785.7,"endTime":1786.868,"body":"Oh, that's good."},{"startTime":1786.868,"endTime":1787.494,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1787.494,"endTime":1790.497,"body":"Nice day. And you. People."},{"startTime":1790.914,"endTime":1791.331,"body":"Want me now."},{"startTime":1791.331,"endTime":1794.417,"body":"How it works afterwards?"},{"startTime":1795.001,"endTime":1798.213,"body":"Yeah, that doesn't work quite as much."},{"startTime":1799.13,"endTime":1801.09,"body":"Okay, so I do I want to talk about."},{"startTime":1801.09,"endTime":1803.009,"body":"So Conan's been the biggest."},{"startTime":1803.009,"endTime":1805.762,"body":"What? You get off your love of CONAN,"},{"startTime":1803.009,"endTime":1805.762,"body":"Figure out."},{"startTime":1805.762,"endTime":1808.014,"body":"Can I have my. Well, it's mine."},{"startTime":1808.014,"endTime":1809.098,"body":"I've only worked for one."},{"startTime":1809.098,"endTime":1811.726,"body":"Show in years, so. Course. But."},{"startTime":1811.726,"endTime":1813.937,"body":"But you're a really good stand up as well."},{"startTime":1813.937,"endTime":1815.438,"body":"Very, very funny. Stand up."},{"startTime":1815.438,"endTime":1818.858,"body":"I was about know I was about to ask"},{"startTime":1815.438,"endTime":1818.858,"body":"if you wouldn't mind talking about"},{"startTime":1818.858,"endTime":1822.403,"body":"like your were set and what that entails"},{"startTime":1818.858,"endTime":1822.403,"body":"but go ahead if you want to."},{"startTime":1822.612,"endTime":1824.989,"body":"We're going to talk about Tony really,"},{"startTime":1822.612,"endTime":1824.989,"body":"really stuck out there."},{"startTime":1824.989,"endTime":1827.242,"body":"Usually a lot of sketches on. This."},{"startTime":1827.242,"endTime":1829.744,"body":"Play and his sister, that kind of stuff."},{"startTime":1829.744,"endTime":1832.455,"body":"So who were you in"},{"startTime":1829.744,"endTime":1832.455,"body":"on those parts of the show?"},{"startTime":1832.455,"endTime":1833.998,"body":"Yeah, because that was in the nineties."},{"startTime":1833.998,"endTime":1835.458,"body":"CONAN There was a nice nineties."},{"startTime":1835.458,"endTime":1837.877,"body":"Did you like"},{"startTime":1835.458,"endTime":1837.877,"body":"how did you get into sketch writing?"},{"startTime":1837.877,"endTime":1838.753,"body":"Was that just part of the game?"},{"startTime":1838.753,"endTime":1840.505,"body":"Um, yeah."},{"startTime":1840.505,"endTime":1841.798,"body":"I mean, I got hired to be a sketch."},{"startTime":1841.798,"endTime":1845.468,"body":"I also would write monologue jokes"},{"startTime":1841.798,"endTime":1845.468,"body":"occasionally."},{"startTime":1845.51,"endTime":1846.052,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":1846.052,"endTime":1847.512,"body":"But but primarily just."},{"startTime":1847.512,"endTime":1850.306,"body":"Sketch and then do were you doing"},{"startTime":1847.512,"endTime":1850.306,"body":"stand up all the time"},{"startTime":1850.306,"endTime":1852.392,"body":"while you had that job? Roseanne?"},{"startTime":1850.306,"endTime":1852.392,"body":"Something you left. Behind?"},{"startTime":1852.392,"endTime":1853.726,"body":"I left behind why?"},{"startTime":1853.726,"endTime":1858.022,"body":"I was well, I guess I was doing"},{"startTime":1853.726,"endTime":1858.022,"body":"the audience warm up for the war."},{"startTime":1858.106,"endTime":1860.108,"body":"And then I got I had to be a writer."},{"startTime":1860.108,"endTime":1863.862,"body":"warm up there was just didn't come out"},{"startTime":1860.108,"endTime":1863.862,"body":"for like 8 minutes and talk to like."},{"startTime":1864.612,"endTime":1866.072,"body":"You don't have to sit YMCA."},{"startTime":1866.072,"endTime":1867.532,"body":"None of that. Okay, now."},{"startTime":1867.532,"endTime":1871.494,"body":"So I was just like, hmm,"},{"startTime":1867.532,"endTime":1871.494,"body":"So it was, it didn't"},{"startTime":1872.12,"endTime":1874.998,"body":"it wasn't throwing T-shirts right now."},{"startTime":1874.998,"endTime":1876.124,"body":"And do you feel bitter?"},{"startTime":1876.124,"endTime":1880.128,"body":"Do you feel bitter at all about about"},{"startTime":1876.124,"endTime":1880.128,"body":"being Conan's valet or are you just like"},{"startTime":1881.129,"endTime":1883.715,"body":"it seems like the logical progression"},{"startTime":1881.129,"endTime":1883.715,"body":"of very."},{"startTime":1883.715,"endTime":1884.883,"body":"Angry. About it?"},{"startTime":1884.883,"endTime":1886.009,"body":"Yeah. Okay."},{"startTime":1886.009,"endTime":1888.511,"body":"But wait, you Laura, the question"},{"startTime":1886.009,"endTime":1888.511,"body":"is, what's your."},{"startTime":1888.511,"endTime":1890.972,"body":"I wanted to ask Mike"},{"startTime":1888.511,"endTime":1890.972,"body":"just about a road gig?"},{"startTime":1890.972,"endTime":1892.432,"body":"What was the worst one?"},{"startTime":1892.432,"endTime":1895.685,"body":"I think the word when it comes"},{"startTime":1899.022,"endTime":1899.772,"body":"really,"},{"startTime":1899.772,"endTime":1903.401,"body":"there's quite a number of places"},{"startTime":1899.772,"endTime":1903.401,"body":"to go through the Winnipeg."},{"startTime":1903.776,"endTime":1907.28,"body":"I got hired to be a headliner"},{"startTime":1903.776,"endTime":1907.28,"body":"at this club in Winnipeg Way"},{"startTime":1907.28,"endTime":1911.451,"body":"before I was ready,"},{"startTime":1907.28,"endTime":1911.451,"body":"and I was there for a whole week."},{"startTime":1911.659,"endTime":1915.079,"body":"Oh, no, it's cold and brutal and."},{"startTime":1915.204,"endTime":1917.415,"body":"And that was just the audience. Yeah."},{"startTime":1917.415,"endTime":1920.001,"body":"Oh, no, no, no, no."},{"startTime":1917.415,"endTime":1920.001,"body":"I have enough material."},{"startTime":1920.001,"endTime":1920.627,"body":"I just."},{"startTime":1920.627,"endTime":1923.296,"body":"I wasn't seasoned enough to really be."},{"startTime":1923.296,"endTime":1923.755,"body":"And it's."},{"startTime":1923.755,"endTime":1924.38,"body":"I think it's because."},{"startTime":1924.38,"endTime":1926.758,"body":"Well, it is a New York comic,"},{"startTime":1924.38,"endTime":1926.758,"body":"you know, that sort of."},{"startTime":1926.758,"endTime":1929.302,"body":"Oh, yeah. Okay. I live in New York."},{"startTime":1931.22,"endTime":1931.846,"body":"Yes, you're right."},{"startTime":1931.846,"endTime":1933.014,"body":"You got the zip code, right?"},{"startTime":1933.014,"endTime":1936.559,"body":"But I don't I in hindsight,"},{"startTime":1933.014,"endTime":1936.559,"body":"it was during the week I was like, oh,"},{"startTime":1936.601,"endTime":1938.728,"body":"I was barely getting away with it."},{"startTime":1938.728,"endTime":1943.441,"body":"And it was every night"},{"startTime":1938.728,"endTime":1943.441,"body":"I was just like dreaded imposter."},{"startTime":1943.566,"endTime":1945.568,"body":"Yes. That."},{"startTime":1945.568,"endTime":1948.571,"body":"And who were the other comics on the show."},{"startTime":1949.197,"endTime":1950.74,"body":"Were from. Winnipeg?"},{"startTime":1950.74,"endTime":1954.661,"body":"Well, you know, I was bombing in Vegas"},{"startTime":1950.74,"endTime":1954.661,"body":"early on, I remember."},{"startTime":1954.869,"endTime":1957.872,"body":"But Vegas had talked about how Vegas"},{"startTime":1957.872,"endTime":1961.209,"body":"or Atlantic City"},{"startTime":1957.872,"endTime":1961.209,"body":"are not normal in terms of comedy."},{"startTime":1961.668,"endTime":1962.293,"body":"Oh, yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":1962.293,"endTime":1964.212,"body":"Because they've all they've lost something"},{"startTime":1964.212,"endTime":1965.964,"body":"and then they've lost"},{"startTime":1964.212,"endTime":1965.964,"body":"their sense of humor."},{"startTime":1965.964,"endTime":1968.049,"body":"It turns out."},{"startTime":1968.049,"endTime":1969.717,"body":"But I remember"},{"startTime":1969.717,"endTime":1973.012,"body":"one of the managers"},{"startTime":1969.717,"endTime":1973.012,"body":"was actually really nice and said, Laura,"},{"startTime":1973.096,"endTime":1976.891,"body":"if it's okay, we're going to have"},{"startTime":1973.096,"endTime":1976.891,"body":"the middle act a little bit more time"},{"startTime":1976.891,"endTime":1978.393,"body":"and have you do a less."},{"startTime":1978.393,"endTime":1981.354,"body":"I guess I think that was"},{"startTime":1978.393,"endTime":1981.354,"body":"that was another thing."},{"startTime":1981.354,"endTime":1983.773,"body":"I didn't really have the material yet."},{"startTime":1983.773,"endTime":1986.317,"body":"I didn't have certainly didn't"},{"startTime":1983.773,"endTime":1986.317,"body":"have the confidence."},{"startTime":1986.317,"endTime":1988.903,"body":"And then I was like, Hi,"},{"startTime":1986.317,"endTime":1988.903,"body":"yeah, you know, but."},{"startTime":1988.903,"endTime":1989.946,"body":"Something like that,"},{"startTime":1989.946,"endTime":1993.199,"body":"because you're so sensitive"},{"startTime":1989.946,"endTime":1993.199,"body":"when you're competing and everything."},{"startTime":1993.199,"endTime":1995.91,"body":"And then someone said"},{"startTime":1993.199,"endTime":1995.91,"body":"something like that, you're just like."},{"startTime":1995.91,"endTime":1999.622,"body":"Oh yeah, because then you have to kind of"},{"startTime":1995.91,"endTime":1999.622,"body":"got fired, but not really."},{"startTime":1999.956,"endTime":2000.665,"body":"Yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":2000.665,"endTime":2004.585,"body":"It's also at that point, it immediately"},{"startTime":2000.665,"endTime":2004.585,"body":"validates that you have made"},{"startTime":2004.585,"endTime":2005.461,"body":"all the wrong decisions"},{"startTime":2007.005,"endTime":2009.841,"body":"every choice."},{"startTime":2009.841,"endTime":2012.051,"body":"Oh yeah. No."},{"startTime":2012.051,"endTime":2017.348,"body":"I had so many, like whenever"},{"startTime":2012.051,"endTime":2017.348,"body":"anything was on the line, like if someone,"},{"startTime":2017.473,"endTime":2018.891,"body":"you know, for Frank Cannon"},{"startTime":2018.891,"endTime":2022.603,"body":"from Letterman came in,"},{"startTime":2018.891,"endTime":2022.603,"body":"or I would get so self-conscious."},{"startTime":2022.729,"endTime":2025.69,"body":"Oh, in my head. Mm hmm."},{"startTime":2026.232,"endTime":2028.943,"body":"Literally be outside my body"},{"startTime":2026.232,"endTime":2028.943,"body":"watching myself."},{"startTime":2028.943,"endTime":2032.196,"body":"I was just this automaton reciting"},{"startTime":2028.943,"endTime":2032.196,"body":"what I had."},{"startTime":2032.196,"endTime":2034.407,"body":"Then you're like, Snap out of it."},{"startTime":2032.196,"endTime":2034.407,"body":"What are you doing?"},{"startTime":2034.407,"endTime":2035.95,"body":"What are you doing out of the up?"},{"startTime":2035.95,"endTime":2038.953,"body":"Like, I'd literally be, like,"},{"startTime":2035.95,"endTime":2038.953,"body":"yelling at myself. Wow."},{"startTime":2038.953,"endTime":2040.955,"body":"Oh, no. That's incredible."},{"startTime":2040.955,"endTime":2045.543,"body":"Like, I was always the best"},{"startTime":2040.955,"endTime":2045.543,"body":"when I felt there was zero pressure. Mm."},{"startTime":2046.21,"endTime":2048.588,"body":"There is no one"},{"startTime":2046.21,"endTime":2048.588,"body":"in the audience of any important."},{"startTime":2048.588,"endTime":2049.964,"body":"But if there's someone"},{"startTime":2049.964,"endTime":2053.551,"body":"that I would give importance to,"},{"startTime":2049.964,"endTime":2053.551,"body":"I would give all this power to them."},{"startTime":2054.052,"endTime":2054.635,"body":"And so."},{"startTime":2054.635,"endTime":2057.597,"body":"so it's kind of self-sabotage"},{"startTime":2054.635,"endTime":2057.597,"body":"I guess you could call it. Or Yeah."},{"startTime":2057.597,"endTime":2059.432,"body":"You're talking about like regrets."},{"startTime":2059.432,"endTime":2064.854,"body":"but that to me was almost a constant"},{"startTime":2059.432,"endTime":2064.854,"body":"throughout was afterwards just going."},{"startTime":2066.064,"endTime":2069.609,"body":"Oh yeah, I remember I was bombing"},{"startTime":2066.064,"endTime":2069.609,"body":"so bad in Boston,"},{"startTime":2069.692,"endTime":2072.862,"body":"played against Sands"},{"startTime":2069.692,"endTime":2072.862,"body":"that I saw myself at the bar"},{"startTime":2074.072,"endTime":2076.157,"body":"high. You son of a bitch."},{"startTime":2076.157,"endTime":2077.95,"body":"God damn it, Webb."},{"startTime":2077.95,"endTime":2080.328,"body":"Yeah, Yeah, you're right."},{"startTime":2080.328,"endTime":2081.037,"body":"Exactly."},{"startTime":2081.037,"endTime":2082.872,"body":"You know, they definitely don't play it."},{"startTime":2082.872,"endTime":2085.374,"body":"Even the first time I was bombing."},{"startTime":2085.374,"endTime":2088.669,"body":"But that only happened once"},{"startTime":2085.374,"endTime":2088.669,"body":"where I had a real outer body."},{"startTime":2088.795,"endTime":2089.921,"body":"Put yourself out at the bar."},{"startTime":2089.921,"endTime":2092.715,"body":"Yeah. That kid's having a good time. No,"},{"startTime":2089.921,"endTime":2092.715,"body":"but I."},{"startTime":2092.715,"endTime":2094.55,"body":"It shocked me at the time"},{"startTime":2094.55,"endTime":2098.513,"body":"because I could see myself and didn't know"},{"startTime":2094.55,"endTime":2098.513,"body":"if I was even still on stage."},{"startTime":2098.763,"endTime":2099.222,"body":"back then."},{"startTime":2099.222,"endTime":2103.184,"body":"I drank scotch and I could see myself"},{"startTime":2099.222,"endTime":2103.184,"body":"holding like a scotch at the bar."},{"startTime":2103.226,"endTime":2108.147,"body":"Also not laughing at me at"},{"startTime":2103.226,"endTime":2108.147,"body":"I just go, Why are you doing this?"},{"startTime":2108.564,"endTime":2110.483,"body":"And yeah, why were you doing this?"},{"startTime":2110.483,"endTime":2111.15,"body":"But you're"},{"startTime":2111.15,"endTime":2115.404,"body":"the only person I've ever heard of that's"},{"startTime":2111.15,"endTime":2115.404,"body":"had an out-of-body experience, too. Wow."},{"startTime":2115.905,"endTime":2116.781,"body":"Oh, really? Yeah."},{"startTime":2116.781,"endTime":2118.324,"body":"Headspace of your."},{"startTime":2118.324,"endTime":2120.785,"body":"You're talking and doing your act, right?"},{"startTime":2118.324,"endTime":2120.785,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2120.785,"endTime":2123.788,"body":"The other level sometimes of like, okay,"},{"startTime":2120.785,"endTime":2123.788,"body":"and you're organizing what it is"},{"startTime":2123.788,"endTime":2124.58,"body":"you're saying."},{"startTime":2124.58,"endTime":2127.375,"body":"But then there's that other third one"},{"startTime":2124.58,"endTime":2127.375,"body":"you just talked about where you're like,"},{"startTime":2127.375,"endTime":2128.543,"body":"Stop doing that."},{"startTime":2128.543,"endTime":2130.419,"body":"Let's just be relaxed."},{"startTime":2130.419,"endTime":2132.171,"body":"That third voice."},{"startTime":2132.171,"endTime":2133.673,"body":"That where you're yelling at yourself."},{"startTime":2133.673,"endTime":2136.968,"body":"Like once you realize you're in your head"},{"startTime":2133.673,"endTime":2136.968,"body":"trying to get yourself,"},{"startTime":2136.968,"endTime":2139.971,"body":"Oh, you're fucked, you're so bad."},{"startTime":2140.179,"endTime":2142.431,"body":"But that little not hair of a moment."},{"startTime":2142.431,"endTime":2144.934,"body":"Yeah, yeah, that is so incredible."},{"startTime":2144.934,"endTime":2146.936,"body":"you saw yourself outside your body?"},{"startTime":2146.936,"endTime":2147.562,"body":"Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":2147.562,"endTime":2149.313,"body":"I was horrified. Wow."},{"startTime":2149.313,"endTime":2151.315,"body":"I was just like, Oh. Oh, my God."},{"startTime":2151.315,"endTime":2152.817,"body":"I can't believe I'm attached to this guy."},{"startTime":2154.819,"endTime":2156.404,"body":"I could."},{"startTime":2156.404,"endTime":2159.323,"body":"That that's"},{"startTime":2156.404,"endTime":2159.323,"body":"that's a that's really terrible."},{"startTime":2159.323,"endTime":2161.951,"body":"And especially having had him happen"},{"startTime":2159.323,"endTime":2161.951,"body":"more than once."},{"startTime":2161.951,"endTime":2163.035,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2163.035,"endTime":2163.494,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2163.494,"endTime":2165.413,"body":"The old fashioned dare I get self care."},{"startTime":2165.413,"endTime":2168.708,"body":"I literally just and go."},{"startTime":2169.041,"endTime":2172.295,"body":"Oh well, I mean, I think the reason"},{"startTime":2169.041,"endTime":2172.295,"body":"I had to stop drinking scotch"},{"startTime":2172.42,"endTime":2174.964,"body":"because it doesn't make you high as fuck"},{"startTime":2172.42,"endTime":2174.964,"body":"you made has been lit."},{"startTime":2174.964,"endTime":2175.673,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2175.673,"endTime":2178.968,"body":"Oh, that could, it could have been"},{"startTime":2175.673,"endTime":2178.968,"body":"a lot of things, but I mean I."},{"startTime":2178.968,"endTime":2182.388,"body":"That was the only time I'd ever been like,"},{"startTime":2178.968,"endTime":2182.388,"body":"you know what's happening?"},{"startTime":2182.388,"endTime":2186.142,"body":"I, I'm bombing bad that I've got"},{"startTime":2182.388,"endTime":2186.142,"body":"or even that right."},{"startTime":2186.142,"endTime":2189.145,"body":"Or Yeah,"},{"startTime":2186.142,"endTime":2189.145,"body":"but even then I had time to be looking"},{"startTime":2189.52,"endTime":2192.273,"body":"like the time was going by so slowly."},{"startTime":2192.273,"endTime":2195.276,"body":"I was like 12 by the time"},{"startTime":2192.273,"endTime":2195.276,"body":"I left the States getting no laugh,"},{"startTime":2195.568,"endTime":2198.154,"body":"but I was like,"},{"startTime":2195.568,"endTime":2198.154,"body":"I don't know. It's so weird."},{"startTime":2198.154,"endTime":2199.197,"body":"Do you ever have one of those?"},{"startTime":2199.197,"endTime":2201.616,"body":"Like I used to like college gigs for."},{"startTime":2201.616,"endTime":2203.159,"body":"Well, and you have to do an hour."},{"startTime":2203.159,"endTime":2206.454,"body":"Oh, you know,"},{"startTime":2203.159,"endTime":2206.454,"body":"I remember one night it was going"},{"startTime":2206.454,"endTime":2209.874,"body":"okay, but it"},{"startTime":2206.454,"endTime":2209.874,"body":"but I was definitely talking fast."},{"startTime":2209.874,"endTime":2212.835,"body":"I was all through stuff."},{"startTime":2213.336,"endTime":2215.63,"body":"I remember there's one thing"},{"startTime":2213.336,"endTime":2215.63,"body":"where I'm like, oh, in 5 minutes"},{"startTime":2215.63,"endTime":2219.592,"body":"I'll be doing that bit where I pull my arm"},{"startTime":2215.63,"endTime":2219.592,"body":"up and I can check my watch."},{"startTime":2221.886,"endTime":2223.054,"body":"Oh, that's smart."},{"startTime":2223.054,"endTime":2227.141,"body":"So, you know, I but I'm just like,"},{"startTime":2223.054,"endTime":2227.141,"body":"okay, here comes this."},{"startTime":2227.141,"endTime":2229.977,"body":"I get better before"},{"startTime":2229.977,"endTime":2232.98,"body":"and now I always remember this"},{"startTime":2229.977,"endTime":2232.98,"body":"and it's like 20."},{"startTime":2233.022,"endTime":2235.983,"body":"Oh, no, mother of"},{"startTime":2235.983,"endTime":2238.861,"body":"crooks."},{"startTime":2238.861,"endTime":2240.279,"body":"Oh, that's wow."},{"startTime":2240.279,"endTime":2240.821,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":2240.821,"endTime":2244.2,"body":"I love having a talk on stage because"},{"startTime":2240.821,"endTime":2244.2,"body":"it can be your absolute best friend."},{"startTime":2244.2,"endTime":2245.91,"body":"And it's just like."},{"startTime":2245.91,"endTime":2248.663,"body":"Like a death staring you in the face."},{"startTime":2248.663,"endTime":2250.873,"body":"That's an agonizing 4 minutes."},{"startTime":2250.873,"endTime":2251.582,"body":"And you look over."},{"startTime":2251.582,"endTime":2253.668,"body":"Wow, How agonizing"},{"startTime":2253.668,"endTime":2255.253,"body":"minutes."},{"startTime":2255.253,"endTime":2256.212,"body":"Oh, hell."},{"startTime":2256.212,"endTime":2258.464,"body":"I do have a bit where I complain"},{"startTime":2256.212,"endTime":2258.464,"body":"about being old man."},{"startTime":2258.464,"endTime":2261.217,"body":"I do look at my I do absolutely do that."},{"startTime":2261.217,"endTime":2262.927,"body":"Right. That for sure. Time check."},{"startTime":2262.927,"endTime":2265.805,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, just let it,"},{"startTime":2262.927,"endTime":2265.805,"body":"hopefully. Oh, sorry, guys."},{"startTime":2265.805,"endTime":2268.224,"body":"I don't know. I just never trust myself"},{"startTime":2265.805,"endTime":2268.224,"body":"like I always do."},{"startTime":2268.224,"endTime":2271.727,"body":"Like, once anything over 10 minutes,"},{"startTime":2268.224,"endTime":2271.727,"body":"I have no idea where I am anymore."},{"startTime":2271.811,"endTime":2272.853,"body":"Like in podcast."},{"startTime":2273.938,"endTime":2274.313,"body":"I have"},{"startTime":2274.313,"endTime":2278.025,"body":"a good bombing story"},{"startTime":2274.313,"endTime":2278.025,"body":"that it's my favorite college bombing. Of."},{"startTime":2278.067,"endTime":2280.569,"body":"Oh. Comedian and Billy Jay."},{"startTime":2280.569,"endTime":2282.071,"body":"Oh, yeah, Yeah, definitely do."},{"startTime":2282.071,"endTime":2284.532,"body":"So he he was doing all these collages."},{"startTime":2284.532,"endTime":2285.95,"body":"And impressions and stuff, right?"},{"startTime":2285.95,"endTime":2287.743,"body":"That's a killer, didn't he?"},{"startTime":2285.95,"endTime":2287.743,"body":"Oh, I don't know."},{"startTime":2287.743,"endTime":2289.829,"body":"I thought so. I'm not sure."},{"startTime":2287.743,"endTime":2289.829,"body":"I don't. Maybe."},{"startTime":2289.829,"endTime":2290.913,"body":"Oh, maybe not."},{"startTime":2290.913,"endTime":2294.458,"body":"But he was saying, oh, you know,"},{"startTime":2290.913,"endTime":2294.458,"body":"he's doing these Midwest colleges."},{"startTime":2294.458,"endTime":2295.751,"body":"They were all great. Mhm."},{"startTime":2295.751,"endTime":2299.38,"body":"And the last night there was some college,"},{"startTime":2295.751,"endTime":2299.38,"body":"small college in Iowa"},{"startTime":2299.463,"endTime":2302.383,"body":"and I can just go finish this"},{"startTime":2299.463,"endTime":2302.383,"body":"and then go back to New York."},{"startTime":2302.383,"endTime":2305.052,"body":"You know who's better than me?"},{"startTime":2302.383,"endTime":2305.052,"body":"The king of the hill."},{"startTime":2305.052,"endTime":2308.639,"body":"So they pick him up and they drive him"},{"startTime":2305.052,"endTime":2308.639,"body":"to the college and they're like, Oh,"},{"startTime":2310.141,"endTime":2313.185,"body":"we just very minor detail."},{"startTime":2313.185,"endTime":2316.147,"body":"We accidentally, you know,"},{"startTime":2313.185,"endTime":2316.147,"body":"we booked you tonight."},{"startTime":2316.397,"endTime":2319.608,"body":"We also it's student Boxing Night and"},{"startTime":2321.277,"endTime":2321.902,"body":"it's like, it's"},{"startTime":2321.902,"endTime":2324.947,"body":"a boxing exhibition"},{"startTime":2321.902,"endTime":2324.947,"body":"and it's the students boxing."},{"startTime":2324.947,"endTime":2326.532,"body":"And he's like, Oh, okay."},{"startTime":2326.532,"endTime":2329.535,"body":"And he's like, So we're going to combine"},{"startTime":2330.578,"endTime":2331.871,"body":"something dry."},{"startTime":2331.871,"endTime":2335.624,"body":"And this is a thing where they kind of"},{"startTime":2331.871,"endTime":2335.624,"body":"picked him up close to Showtime,"},{"startTime":2336.375,"endTime":2340.129,"body":"so they drive him to go,"},{"startTime":2336.375,"endTime":2340.129,"body":"You were going to be in a theater,"},{"startTime":2340.129,"endTime":2343.424,"body":"but we've moved it to the gym, uh, driving"},{"startTime":2343.424,"endTime":2346.427,"body":"to this giant college gym he goes in."},{"startTime":2346.427,"endTime":2351.265,"body":"In the center of the gym"},{"startTime":2346.427,"endTime":2351.265,"body":"is is a boxing ring, and everyone's just."},{"startTime":2351.724,"endTime":2352.558,"body":"Oh, my God, I'm."},{"startTime":2352.558,"endTime":2355.436,"body":"Sitting around this ring"},{"startTime":2352.558,"endTime":2355.436,"body":"and they're like, Yeah,"},{"startTime":2355.436,"endTime":2358.814,"body":"we're going to bring you up in the"},{"startTime":2355.436,"endTime":2358.814,"body":"after the first bout."},{"startTime":2359.44,"endTime":2361.317,"body":"After the first bout."},{"startTime":2361.317,"endTime":2361.984,"body":"Oh, my."},{"startTime":2361.984,"endTime":2364.987,"body":"God. Opener. Yeah."},{"startTime":2365.279,"endTime":2366.822,"body":"Oh, Oh, opener."},{"startTime":2366.822,"endTime":2370.743,"body":"Go short"},{"startTime":2366.822,"endTime":2370.743,"body":"because this guy gets his nose broken open"},{"startTime":2370.743,"endTime":2373.829,"body":"and amazing knocked out immediately"},{"startTime":2370.743,"endTime":2373.829,"body":"in the first round."},{"startTime":2373.829,"endTime":2376.832,"body":"There's blood. He literally clean blood."},{"startTime":2377.249,"endTime":2378.751,"body":"Oh my. God."},{"startTime":2378.751,"endTime":2382.004,"body":"And the the ring microphone came down."},{"startTime":2382.588,"endTime":2384.632,"body":"And the studio's"},{"startTime":2382.588,"endTime":2384.632,"body":"all right. Are you ready for your"},{"startTime":2385.883,"endTime":2386.092,"body":"book?"},{"startTime":2386.092,"endTime":2387.927,"body":"Whoa."},{"startTime":2387.927,"endTime":2390.429,"body":"He had to do the comedy"},{"startTime":2387.927,"endTime":2390.429,"body":"from the center of the ring."},{"startTime":2390.429,"endTime":2393.432,"body":"Oh, my God. He's listening."},{"startTime":2393.432,"endTime":2394.266,"body":"That's incredible."},{"startTime":2394.266,"endTime":2395.518,"body":"The what?"},{"startTime":2395.518,"endTime":2397.186,"body":"I would rather like love."},{"startTime":2397.186,"endTime":2399.855,"body":"Give me gloves and I'll"},{"startTime":2399.855,"endTime":2401.315,"body":"let him do that. Yeah."},{"startTime":2401.315,"endTime":2403.734,"body":"Well, it's a"},{"startTime":2401.315,"endTime":2403.734,"body":"Where was Billy Jay in all of this?"},{"startTime":2403.734,"endTime":2404.443,"body":"He that was."},{"startTime":2404.443,"endTime":2405.569,"body":"Yeah. Act as the comedian."},{"startTime":2405.569,"endTime":2407.655,"body":"Yeah. Oh, I thought you were doing it."},{"startTime":2407.655,"endTime":2410.491,"body":"No, he told. I'm sorry."},{"startTime":2410.491,"endTime":2411.826,"body":"This is his story."},{"startTime":2411.826,"endTime":2413.661,"body":"Oh, I'm sorry. I just seared my brain."},{"startTime":2413.661,"endTime":2414.87,"body":"Oh, oh, oh."},{"startTime":2414.87,"endTime":2417.748,"body":"I'm. I'm telling someone else's response."},{"startTime":2417.748,"endTime":2418.707,"body":"Oh, okay."},{"startTime":2418.707,"endTime":2421.127,"body":"But because, well, he was loved."},{"startTime":2421.127,"endTime":2421.919,"body":"I shouldn't get it."},{"startTime":2421.919,"endTime":2422.086,"body":"When."},{"startTime":2422.086,"endTime":2425.881,"body":"When you cut this together,"},{"startTime":2422.086,"endTime":2425.881,"body":"take out the fact that Mike told"},{"startTime":2425.881,"endTime":2426.674,"body":"somebody else's story."},{"startTime":2426.674,"endTime":2430.553,"body":"I thought it because it meant more"},{"startTime":2426.674,"endTime":2430.553,"body":"when he was in it."},{"startTime":2430.553,"endTime":2433.431,"body":"When it was him,"},{"startTime":2430.553,"endTime":2433.431,"body":"I thought it was him that knew Daniel."},{"startTime":2433.431,"endTime":2435.015,"body":"Was on technological. Journey."},{"startTime":2435.015,"endTime":2437.935,"body":"And then he was like,"},{"startTime":2435.015,"endTime":2437.935,"body":"Oh, that's not my story."},{"startTime":2437.935,"endTime":2441.147,"body":"Well, see, my great grandmother,"},{"startTime":2437.935,"endTime":2441.147,"body":"she went down on this huge boat,"},{"startTime":2441.147,"endTime":2443.232,"body":"I think it was called the Titanic."},{"startTime":2443.232,"endTime":2445.734,"body":"Well, okay, well, it wasn't actually me."},{"startTime":2445.734,"endTime":2446.61,"body":"Good Christ."},{"startTime":2448.112,"endTime":2449.405,"body":"It's just a good Bobby."},{"startTime":2449.405,"endTime":2449.864,"body":"I'm sorry."},{"startTime":2449.864,"endTime":2452.95,"body":"You know,"},{"startTime":2449.864,"endTime":2452.95,"body":"I have so many of my own bombing stories,"},{"startTime":2453.784,"endTime":2456.745,"body":"you know, and funny."},{"startTime":2457.079,"endTime":2459.748,"body":"Upstate New York,"},{"startTime":2457.079,"endTime":2459.748,"body":"and they were perfectly nice."},{"startTime":2459.748,"endTime":2461.876,"body":"It was. Yeah."},{"startTime":2459.748,"endTime":2461.876,"body":"I mean, it's in a cafeteria also. And."},{"startTime":2461.876,"endTime":2464.879,"body":"But they made an announcement before me"},{"startTime":2461.876,"endTime":2464.879,"body":"because apparently"},{"startTime":2464.879,"endTime":2468.09,"body":"the male comedian"},{"startTime":2464.879,"endTime":2468.09,"body":"the last week was atrocious."},{"startTime":2468.466,"endTime":2469.258,"body":"So before."},{"startTime":2469.258,"endTime":2471.135,"body":"Which it's not show business, right?"},{"startTime":2469.258,"endTime":2471.135,"body":"Whatever."},{"startTime":2471.135,"endTime":2474.68,"body":"It's not comedy"},{"startTime":2471.135,"endTime":2474.68,"body":"when you're performing Or a cafeteria."},{"startTime":2474.722,"endTime":2477.516,"body":"Or a cafeteria."},{"startTime":2477.516,"endTime":2478.559,"body":"I beg your pardon?"},{"startTime":2478.559,"endTime":2481.645,"body":"The cafeteria. Guy."},{"startTime":2482.313,"endTime":2485.316,"body":"Or whoever brought me"},{"startTime":2482.313,"endTime":2485.316,"body":"the girl, she's like,"},{"startTime":2485.941,"endTime":2487.443,"body":"Thank you, everyone, for coming tonight."},{"startTime":2487.443,"endTime":2490.779,"body":"And just so you know, in regards"},{"startTime":2487.443,"endTime":2490.779,"body":"to last week's performance,"},{"startTime":2490.779,"endTime":2493.782,"body":"if at any point you feel uncomfortable"},{"startTime":2490.779,"endTime":2493.782,"body":"or there's anything"},{"startTime":2495.284,"endTime":2498.412,"body":"you can leave at"},{"startTime":2495.284,"endTime":2498.412,"body":"any time, please welcome Daniel."},{"startTime":2500.039,"endTime":2501.874,"body":"I know."},{"startTime":2501.874,"endTime":2503.042,"body":"I'm not going to you know, that's a."},{"startTime":2503.042,"endTime":2504.752,"body":"Very modern and."},{"startTime":2504.752,"endTime":2507.296,"body":"I'm. Oh, my God, it is, isn't it?"},{"startTime":2507.296,"endTime":2507.588,"body":"Are you."},{"startTime":2507.588,"endTime":2510.591,"body":"Ready to get Trigger."},{"startTime":2511.008,"endTime":2514.011,"body":"The same face over here?"},{"startTime":2514.094,"endTime":2515.429,"body":"Yeah, Yeah."},{"startTime":2515.429,"endTime":2518.724,"body":"But it really just turned what I was doing"},{"startTime":2515.429,"endTime":2518.724,"body":"into a huge tantrum, right?"},{"startTime":2518.724,"endTime":2520.351,"body":"You know, at that point,"},{"startTime":2518.724,"endTime":2520.351,"body":"I felt two of them, like,"},{"startTime":2520.351,"endTime":2521.852,"body":"I don't want to offend anybody."},{"startTime":2521.852,"endTime":2523.896,"body":"So any time ago,"},{"startTime":2521.852,"endTime":2523.896,"body":"you know what I mean? To joke about."},{"startTime":2523.896,"endTime":2525.773,"body":"But, you know."},{"startTime":2525.773,"endTime":2528.776,"body":"So we were out at that point."},{"startTime":2529.235,"endTime":2530.027,"body":"Oh, no, no, no."},{"startTime":2530.027,"endTime":2531.028,"body":"But I don't"},{"startTime":2531.028,"endTime":2533.405,"body":"look, I'm not going to do anything"},{"startTime":2531.028,"endTime":2533.405,"body":"because I'm not attracted anybody"},{"startTime":2533.405,"endTime":2536.408,"body":"here."},{"startTime":2536.492,"endTime":2537.743,"body":"Oh, all right."},{"startTime":2537.743,"endTime":2539.828,"body":"Okay. Down the middle."},{"startTime":2539.828,"endTime":2540.663,"body":"That was one of those shows"},{"startTime":2540.663,"endTime":2544.416,"body":"where someone this person at the end"},{"startTime":2540.663,"endTime":2544.416,"body":"student was like, You're just waiting."},{"startTime":2544.416,"endTime":2546.46,"body":"Like, there's anyone talking to me? Yeah."},{"startTime":2546.46,"endTime":2548.337,"body":"And they come to like, I just saw."},{"startTime":2548.337,"endTime":2550.381,"body":"I'm the only queer person"},{"startTime":2548.337,"endTime":2550.381,"body":"at this whole school."},{"startTime":2550.381,"endTime":2553.801,"body":"Oh, well, we need an old woman."},{"startTime":2553.801,"endTime":2554.885,"body":"Yeah, that's what I said."},{"startTime":2554.885,"endTime":2557.012,"body":"I know. That's right. Well,"},{"startTime":2554.885,"endTime":2557.012,"body":"they were even like."},{"startTime":2557.012,"endTime":2558.097,"body":"I was like, just. They're not."},{"startTime":2558.097,"endTime":2560.224,"body":"They're not. They don't know yet. Mm."},{"startTime":2561.308,"endTime":2563.936,"body":"No. So we were showering together,"},{"startTime":2561.308,"endTime":2563.936,"body":"and I just wanted to ask."},{"startTime":2563.936,"endTime":2566.188,"body":"Do you think that's weird? Yeah."},{"startTime":2566.188,"endTime":2568.607,"body":"No. If that person was doing"},{"startTime":2566.188,"endTime":2568.607,"body":"their whole thesis, they wanted to write"},{"startTime":2568.607,"endTime":2573.153,"body":"on the neurological damage"},{"startTime":2568.607,"endTime":2573.153,"body":"of living like a closeted, uh oh."},{"startTime":2573.362,"endTime":2575.364,"body":"You have to fucking unwind all that shit."},{"startTime":2575.364,"endTime":2577.116,"body":"Um, you know, was like, See? Yeah."},{"startTime":2577.116,"endTime":2578.242,"body":"That's what I love about performance."},{"startTime":2578.242,"endTime":2580.119,"body":"It brings damage people together."},{"startTime":2580.119,"endTime":2580.953,"body":"Nice."},{"startTime":2580.953,"endTime":2582.121,"body":"That's really nice."},{"startTime":2582.121,"endTime":2584.498,"body":"That's that is one of my favorite things."},{"startTime":2584.498,"endTime":2589.461,"body":"When I started doing comedy was it didn't"},{"startTime":2584.498,"endTime":2589.461,"body":"matter what anyone's background was."},{"startTime":2589.545,"endTime":2592.548,"body":"Yeah, shared this severe damage."},{"startTime":2593.132,"endTime":2594.925,"body":"Oh yeah"},{"startTime":2594.925,"endTime":2598.387,"body":"I bet Other than Matt Brunker, who had."},{"startTime":2598.679,"endTime":2599.888,"body":"Great. He's hilarious."},{"startTime":2599.888,"endTime":2603.35,"body":"No, but he had a really good nose"},{"startTime":2599.888,"endTime":2603.35,"body":"and say he had an amazing childhood."},{"startTime":2603.35,"endTime":2604.977,"body":"He said his parents were teachers."},{"startTime":2604.977,"endTime":2606.604,"body":"He had. all this love"},{"startTime":2606.604,"endTime":2610.19,"body":"and one of his bits is when he was saying"},{"startTime":2606.604,"endTime":2610.19,"body":"goodbye, like on bus"},{"startTime":2610.316,"endTime":2612.901,"body":"when he was a kid he was saying by owner"},{"startTime":2610.316,"endTime":2612.901,"body":"and he turned around."},{"startTime":2612.901,"endTime":2616.447,"body":"Never been to stare at him"},{"startTime":2612.901,"endTime":2616.447,"body":"like you are a mama's boy or whatever."},{"startTime":2616.447,"endTime":2619.45,"body":"But but I was going to say, most comics"},{"startTime":2616.447,"endTime":2619.45,"body":"don't have a good childhood."},{"startTime":2619.575,"endTime":2622.411,"body":"Yeah, Yeah, I probably. Right."},{"startTime":2622.411,"endTime":2622.953,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2622.953,"endTime":2626.123,"body":"Garrett, can you take out the part"},{"startTime":2622.953,"endTime":2626.123,"body":"where Laura told another comics? Hi."},{"startTime":2626.999,"endTime":2627.916,"body":"I said his name."},{"startTime":2627.916,"endTime":2630.919,"body":"No, I gave him the thing. I said"},{"startTime":2627.916,"endTime":2630.919,"body":"Matt Braga?"},{"startTime":2631.045,"endTime":2631.503,"body":"Yeah. I said."},{"startTime":2637.801,"endTime":2639.678,"body":"How competitive"},{"startTime":2637.801,"endTime":2639.678,"body":"is late night when you're in?"},{"startTime":2639.678,"endTime":2642.222,"body":"Are you even just doing"},{"startTime":2639.678,"endTime":2642.222,"body":"You're just doing the job, right."},{"startTime":2642.222,"endTime":2644.933,"body":"And again, thank you for staring."},{"startTime":2644.933,"endTime":2647.936,"body":"Let's look at standup is so competitive."},{"startTime":2648.062,"endTime":2651.023,"body":"You know, just night after night"},{"startTime":2648.062,"endTime":2651.023,"body":"you're being and you're in competition."},{"startTime":2651.023,"endTime":2653.567,"body":"You mean. Like working out late night?"},{"startTime":2651.023,"endTime":2653.567,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2653.567,"endTime":2656.403,"body":"Yeah, like watching day to day out there."},{"startTime":2653.567,"endTime":2656.403,"body":"I did it on your."},{"startTime":2656.403,"endTime":2659.657,"body":"I wouldn't watch any other late"},{"startTime":2656.403,"endTime":2659.657,"body":"night shows just because I didn't"},{"startTime":2659.865,"endTime":2661.2,"body":"like what I said. Right."},{"startTime":2661.2,"endTime":2663.452,"body":"Or I didn't"},{"startTime":2661.2,"endTime":2663.452,"body":"want to know what anyone else was doing."},{"startTime":2663.452,"endTime":2664.328,"body":"Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":2664.328,"endTime":2667.331,"body":"And it was just Let's worry about what"},{"startTime":2664.328,"endTime":2667.331,"body":"we're doing."},{"startTime":2667.539,"endTime":2670.292,"body":"you had some great writers on the staff"},{"startTime":2667.539,"endTime":2670.292,"body":"here, Laurie"},{"startTime":2670.292,"endTime":2674.213,"body":"Kilmartin, Bryan Kiley, Oh,"},{"startTime":2670.292,"endTime":2674.213,"body":"my God, just like, it's a long list."},{"startTime":2674.296,"endTime":2675.589,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":2675.589,"endTime":2678.3,"body":"You know, Brian Stack,"},{"startTime":2675.589,"endTime":2678.3,"body":"Brian McCann, Allison Silver."},{"startTime":2678.3,"endTime":2680.928,"body":"Uh, yeah, it's an endless list."},{"startTime":2680.928,"endTime":2682.388,"body":"Yeah, wasn't real."},{"startTime":2682.388,"endTime":2684.306,"body":"It just all these wonderful writers."},{"startTime":2684.306,"endTime":2687.601,"body":"Laurie Kilmartin, though, is, like,"},{"startTime":2684.306,"endTime":2687.601,"body":"the best joke writer."},{"startTime":2687.601,"endTime":2689.978,"body":"She's a. She's amazing. She's so good."},{"startTime":2689.978,"endTime":2691.188,"body":"Storyteller, the whole thing."},{"startTime":2691.188,"endTime":2693.273,"body":"She was a monologue. Writer, and."},{"startTime":2693.273,"endTime":2695.192,"body":"Uh, yeah, Yeah."},{"startTime":2695.192,"endTime":2696.527,"body":"early on and late night."},{"startTime":2696.527,"endTime":2699.571,"body":"It was monologue"},{"startTime":2696.527,"endTime":2699.571,"body":"writers and sketch writers,"},{"startTime":2699.571,"endTime":2702.574,"body":"and they didn't really cross."},{"startTime":2702.658,"endTime":2706.12,"body":"Oh, and then when we moved out to L.A., it"},{"startTime":2706.412,"endTime":2709.79,"body":"became much more fluid,"},{"startTime":2706.412,"endTime":2709.79,"body":"like the model writers would do."},{"startTime":2709.79,"endTime":2712.376,"body":"The model, but then they'd come in"},{"startTime":2709.79,"endTime":2712.376,"body":"and pitch sketch stuff."},{"startTime":2712.376,"endTime":2716.255,"body":"And the coyote would have a sketch"},{"startTime":2712.376,"endTime":2716.255,"body":"in his monologue sometimes."},{"startTime":2716.255,"endTime":2718.09,"body":"Yes. Yes. After the bottom end."},{"startTime":2718.09,"endTime":2719.633,"body":"Absolutely right. Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":2719.633,"endTime":2722.219,"body":"Was there a family"},{"startTime":2719.633,"endTime":2722.219,"body":"that was joined together? They had."},{"startTime":2722.219,"endTime":2723.762,"body":"Uh, they."},{"startTime":2723.762,"endTime":2726.265,"body":"It was like a total side of it."},{"startTime":2723.762,"endTime":2726.265,"body":"Like for 30 seconds."},{"startTime":2726.265,"endTime":2728.726,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2726.265,"endTime":2728.726,"body":"I mean, they were 8 million, trillion."},{"startTime":2728.726,"endTime":2730.519,"body":"The. Year bad."},{"startTime":2730.519,"endTime":2732.02,"body":"Girls girls."},{"startTime":2732.02,"endTime":2733.939,"body":"First thing was the one about the guys"},{"startTime":2733.939,"endTime":2736.066,"body":"that had their pants off"},{"startTime":2733.939,"endTime":2736.066,"body":"next to the stove. What was it?"},{"startTime":2736.066,"endTime":2736.817,"body":"But my favorite."},{"startTime":2736.817,"endTime":2739.653,"body":"I think, of all times"},{"startTime":2736.817,"endTime":2739.653,"body":"preparation. Is range, right?"},{"startTime":2739.653,"endTime":2740.863,"body":"Oh, okay."},{"startTime":2740.863,"endTime":2741.947,"body":"That was that."},{"startTime":2741.947,"endTime":2745.659,"body":"That was a character that Brian McCann,"},{"startTime":2741.947,"endTime":2745.659,"body":"a writer, did people's favorite"},{"startTime":2745.659,"endTime":2747.286,"body":"things were born in the writers room."},{"startTime":2747.286,"endTime":2748.203,"body":"That's one of the reasons"},{"startTime":2748.203,"endTime":2751.123,"body":"I stopped doing standup, was because"},{"startTime":2748.203,"endTime":2751.123,"body":"we're there till after midnight."},{"startTime":2751.123,"endTime":2751.915,"body":"Oh, jeez."},{"startTime":2751.915,"endTime":2754.918,"body":"So I literally"},{"startTime":2751.915,"endTime":2754.918,"body":"I was like, putting in four sets"},{"startTime":2755.127,"endTime":2757.004,"body":"and I was like,"},{"startTime":2755.127,"endTime":2757.004,"body":"I think that I was canceling"},{"startTime":2757.004,"endTime":2759.631,"body":"and I was like,"},{"startTime":2757.004,"endTime":2759.631,"body":"Oh, this place Like, we had dinner."},{"startTime":2759.631,"endTime":2764.344,"body":"And then back then we stayed"},{"startTime":2759.631,"endTime":2764.344,"body":"till after midnight and for years."},{"startTime":2764.344,"endTime":2768.557,"body":"Yeah, I just had to stop doing standup,"},{"startTime":2764.344,"endTime":2768.557,"body":"so we'd be there in the writers room"},{"startTime":2768.557,"endTime":2769.516,"body":"at like 11 p.m."},{"startTime":2769.516,"endTime":2773.395,"body":"at night and that's"},{"startTime":2769.516,"endTime":2773.395,"body":"when things like preparation, a train"},{"startTime":2773.395,"endTime":2777.065,"body":"and the guy just handed out"},{"startTime":2773.395,"endTime":2777.065,"body":"boxes of Preparation H to the audience."},{"startTime":2777.566,"endTime":2780.944,"body":"It's because Preparation"},{"startTime":2777.566,"endTime":2780.944,"body":"H sent us a basket"},{"startTime":2782.905,"endTime":2783.739,"body":"and so they"},{"startTime":2783.739,"endTime":2786.742,"body":"were sitting around the writers room"},{"startTime":2783.739,"endTime":2786.742,"body":"and that just."},{"startTime":2786.784,"endTime":2787.826,"body":"That's great."},{"startTime":2787.826,"endTime":2789.703,"body":"I could see how that would be useful"},{"startTime":2787.826,"endTime":2789.703,"body":"anyway,"},{"startTime":2789.703,"endTime":2792.706,"body":"because that's when it hurts"},{"startTime":2789.703,"endTime":2792.706,"body":"is really late at night."},{"startTime":2792.706,"endTime":2795.25,"body":"and also a lot of times"},{"startTime":2792.706,"endTime":2795.25,"body":"you'd be there in 1:00 at night"},{"startTime":2795.25,"endTime":2798.253,"body":"because we needed second sketch. Yeah."},{"startTime":2798.712,"endTime":2799.922,"body":"Oh yeah."},{"startTime":2799.922,"endTime":2801.757,"body":"You until it was green lit."},{"startTime":2801.757,"endTime":2805.219,"body":"And so, and then all the phone calls"},{"startTime":2801.757,"endTime":2805.219,"body":"like the writers produced"},{"startTime":2805.594,"endTime":2808.263,"body":"to do call wardrobe props."},{"startTime":2808.263,"endTime":2809.223,"body":"Oh damn."},{"startTime":2809.223,"endTime":2813.143,"body":"All that stuff had to be done"},{"startTime":2809.223,"endTime":2813.143,"body":"before you left the building that night."},{"startTime":2813.143,"endTime":2815.896,"body":"Right. I feel like people,"},{"startTime":2813.143,"endTime":2815.896,"body":"like writers have to produce."},{"startTime":2815.896,"endTime":2817.689,"body":"You don't always get the credit. Every."},{"startTime":2817.689,"endTime":2818.816,"body":"Every show is different."},{"startTime":2818.816,"endTime":2821.944,"body":"I know CONAN was based on the SNL model."},{"startTime":2821.944,"endTime":2823.278,"body":"your sketch is approved."},{"startTime":2823.278,"endTime":2825.864,"body":"You've got to produce it."},{"startTime":2823.278,"endTime":2825.864,"body":"So you live or die."},{"startTime":2825.864,"endTime":2828.784,"body":"So you're like, you're"},{"startTime":2825.864,"endTime":2828.784,"body":"if something goes wrong, you can't go,"},{"startTime":2828.784,"endTime":2832.246,"body":"oh, well, you know, so-and-so"},{"startTime":2828.784,"endTime":2832.246,"body":"ordered the wrong dress."},{"startTime":2832.246,"endTime":2835.207,"body":"It's like, no, you ordered the wrong dress"},{"startTime":2835.249,"endTime":2838.252,"body":"or you didn't"},{"startTime":2835.249,"endTime":2838.252,"body":"shoot the pre-tape part, right?"},{"startTime":2838.71,"endTime":2841.338,"body":"So if something was great. Mm hmm."},{"startTime":2841.338,"endTime":2842.631,"body":"Yes. But I did it."},{"startTime":2843.841,"endTime":2845.717,"body":"There was no one else."},{"startTime":2845.717,"endTime":2845.968,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":2845.968,"endTime":2848.971,"body":"Mm hmm. SNL didn't overlap."},{"startTime":2849.346,"endTime":2850.722,"body":"And. No. I had one year."},{"startTime":2850.722,"endTime":2853.767,"body":"There was in 94, and I think I even"},{"startTime":2853.767,"endTime":2856.895,"body":"was on CONAN because during the week,"},{"startTime":2853.767,"endTime":2856.895,"body":"I was Connie Chung."},{"startTime":2857.187,"endTime":2861.066,"body":"And so I did the whatever"},{"startTime":2857.187,"endTime":2861.066,"body":"the mouth of Connie Chung."},{"startTime":2861.191,"endTime":2863.11,"body":"Yeah. Oh. Yeah."},{"startTime":2863.11,"endTime":2864.403,"body":"We call those clutch cars."},{"startTime":2864.403,"endTime":2866.822,"body":"I like to say the mouth of Connie Chung."},{"startTime":2866.822,"endTime":2869.575,"body":"You did. The mouth of."},{"startTime":2869.575,"endTime":2870.659,"body":"The. Yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":2870.659,"endTime":2872.077,"body":"Clutch car, right?"},{"startTime":2872.077,"endTime":2874.58,"body":"We call them because I was an old show."},{"startTime":2874.58,"endTime":2877.583,"body":"Children. Cha cha. Oh, okay."},{"startTime":2877.583,"endTime":2880.168,"body":"How would it. All brought that? Yeah."},{"startTime":2880.168,"endTime":2881.712,"body":"Oh, that's so funny."},{"startTime":2881.712,"endTime":2882.546,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":2882.546,"endTime":2883.422,"body":"So when."},{"startTime":2883.422,"endTime":2887.885,"body":"Okay, I'm batting all over the place,"},{"startTime":2883.422,"endTime":2887.885,"body":"but yeah, after the Jay Leno Tonight"},{"startTime":2887.885,"endTime":2890.888,"body":"Show, blah, blah, blah,"},{"startTime":2887.885,"endTime":2890.888,"body":"you guys debacle, debacle."},{"startTime":2891.221,"endTime":2892.89,"body":"You guys went on the road? Yeah."},{"startTime":2892.89,"endTime":2895.726,"body":"Team Coco Who was it Call"},{"startTime":2892.89,"endTime":2895.726,"body":"I hit corner of the it."},{"startTime":2895.726,"endTime":2899.062,"body":"Was the legally prohibited from. Oh."},{"startTime":2899.313,"endTime":2902.107,"body":"Television tour. Right. Oh that's great."},{"startTime":2902.107,"endTime":2903.609,"body":"You were a writer for that. Yeah."},{"startTime":2903.609,"endTime":2904.902,"body":"And you didn't perform?"},{"startTime":2904.902,"endTime":2907.487,"body":"No, I was like the head writer"},{"startTime":2904.902,"endTime":2907.487,"body":"that did you do."},{"startTime":2907.487,"endTime":2908.363,"body":"A warm up act on that?"},{"startTime":2908.363,"endTime":2910.908,"body":"I didn't. Okay. Yeah, I did."},{"startTime":2910.908,"endTime":2914.161,"body":"When I became a writer in 2000,"},{"startTime":2910.908,"endTime":2914.161,"body":"I stopped doing this."},{"startTime":2914.161,"endTime":2915.746,"body":"I had to be in the monologue."},{"startTime":2915.746,"endTime":2917.873,"body":"Yeah, we were taking the jokes."},{"startTime":2917.873,"endTime":2920.918,"body":"In warm up"},{"startTime":2917.873,"endTime":2920.918,"body":"was a horrible thing to be doing anyway."},{"startTime":2920.918,"endTime":2922.669,"body":"It's awful. I actually. Enjoyed it."},{"startTime":2922.669,"endTime":2926.506,"body":"So we did the tour like kind of solidify"},{"startTime":2922.669,"endTime":2926.506,"body":"we can do our own show"},{"startTime":2926.506,"endTime":2928.926,"body":"or did it mean anything"},{"startTime":2926.506,"endTime":2928.926,"body":"or was it just a thing to go out and. Do."},{"startTime":2931.428,"endTime":2931.637,"body":"Those?"},{"startTime":2931.637,"endTime":2933.013,"body":"A Jay Leno fans are not."},{"startTime":2933.013,"endTime":2936.016,"body":"Ha ha ha."},{"startTime":2933.013,"endTime":2936.016,"body":"They're taking down the building."},{"startTime":2936.433,"endTime":2938.143,"body":"They're moving the house, too."},{"startTime":2938.143,"endTime":2939.311,"body":"Back to New York."},{"startTime":2939.311,"endTime":2941.229,"body":"Six feet under"},{"startTime":2941.229,"endTime":2944.232,"body":"right"},{"startTime":2944.399,"endTime":2944.942,"body":"you know what?"},{"startTime":2944.942,"endTime":2949.196,"body":"CONAN So kind of large and"},{"startTime":2944.942,"endTime":2949.196,"body":"and charge of his shows"},{"startTime":2949.196,"endTime":2952.783,"body":"that no one ever bothered him"},{"startTime":2949.196,"endTime":2952.783,"body":"about what was on the show."},{"startTime":2952.783,"endTime":2956.286,"body":"No, you so people were bothering him"},{"startTime":2952.783,"endTime":2956.286,"body":"at late night."},{"startTime":2956.578,"endTime":2959.748,"body":"then, yeah,"},{"startTime":2956.578,"endTime":2959.748,"body":"we were at the show and did it on tour,"},{"startTime":2959.748,"endTime":2963.335,"body":"and then we cruised right"},{"startTime":2959.748,"endTime":2963.335,"body":"into doing the show again on TV. Yes."},{"startTime":2963.835,"endTime":2967.965,"body":"And yeah, I was kind of just he had carte"},{"startTime":2963.835,"endTime":2967.965,"body":"blanche to do what he wanted to do."},{"startTime":2968.34,"endTime":2971.343,"body":"I'm sorry. I have to take this caller."},{"startTime":2971.426,"endTime":2974.888,"body":"Mike, Yeah,"},{"startTime":2971.426,"endTime":2974.888,"body":"this is the left turn While Mike was,"},{"startTime":2974.93,"endTime":2977.933,"body":"I believe, still studying law in New York,"},{"startTime":2974.93,"endTime":2977.933,"body":"right between"},{"startTime":2977.933,"endTime":2982.062,"body":"law and stand up, there was an artist"},{"startTime":2977.933,"endTime":2982.062,"body":"whose name was Keith Haring."},{"startTime":2982.062,"endTime":2984.481,"body":"And I'm wondering how"},{"startTime":2982.062,"endTime":2984.481,"body":"what your connection is."},{"startTime":2984.481,"endTime":2985.44,"body":"With Keith Haring."},{"startTime":2985.44,"endTime":2987.943,"body":"It's a way drawings"},{"startTime":2985.44,"endTime":2987.943,"body":"he did around 5000 subway"},{"startTime":2989.152,"endTime":2989.903,"body":"and subway."},{"startTime":2989.903,"endTime":2992.531,"body":"And, you know, I admire them. I like them."},{"startTime":2992.531,"endTime":2998.036,"body":"And then when I moved into the city"},{"startTime":2992.531,"endTime":2998.036,"body":"in September of 1983,"},{"startTime":2998.036,"endTime":3001.039,"body":"I would periodically go down the subway"},{"startTime":2998.036,"endTime":3001.039,"body":"and take one."},{"startTime":3001.039,"endTime":3002.165,"body":"So I."},{"startTime":3002.165,"endTime":3003.834,"body":"Fantastic."},{"startTime":3003.834,"endTime":3007.087,"body":"Yeah, I have 70."},{"startTime":3007.421,"endTime":3010.173,"body":"What? Yeah. That's insane."},{"startTime":3010.173,"endTime":3011.8,"body":"So he doesn't have to worry"},{"startTime":3010.173,"endTime":3011.8,"body":"about anything."},{"startTime":3011.8,"endTime":3013.301,"body":"In other words."},{"startTime":3013.301,"endTime":3015.303,"body":"You guys know. I can."},{"startTime":3015.303,"endTime":3019.141,"body":"Watch the bullshit like Architectural"},{"startTime":3015.303,"endTime":3019.141,"body":"Digest, like, at people's homes, right?"},{"startTime":3019.349,"endTime":3021.059,"body":"But what I do watch is an inferior"},{"startTime":3021.059,"endTime":3024.062,"body":"one called Quintessence,"},{"startTime":3021.059,"endTime":3024.062,"body":"which is just much of a rich white people."},{"startTime":3024.062,"endTime":3025.856,"body":"Right. But it's hysterical. It's."},{"startTime":3025.856,"endTime":3031.319,"body":"Yeah, folly of out, but it's inevitably"},{"startTime":3025.856,"endTime":3031.319,"body":"like two rich, old gay guys, right?"},{"startTime":3031.319,"endTime":3033.196,"body":"Right up like five houses. And."},{"startTime":3033.196,"endTime":3036.033,"body":"But one of them has a subway"},{"startTime":3033.196,"endTime":3036.033,"body":"Keith Haring piece."},{"startTime":3036.033,"endTime":3038.368,"body":"That's cool because they're just chalk"},{"startTime":3036.033,"endTime":3038.368,"body":"or they're just chalk."},{"startTime":3038.368,"endTime":3041.079,"body":"And you have like, Yeah,"},{"startTime":3038.368,"endTime":3041.079,"body":"you have to really preserve it."},{"startTime":3041.079,"endTime":3043.999,"body":"Yeah. I mean, I literally have dreams"},{"startTime":3041.079,"endTime":3043.999,"body":"that I wake up from."},{"startTime":3043.999,"endTime":3048.17,"body":"Watch schoolchildren"},{"startTime":3043.999,"endTime":3048.17,"body":"with a blackboard race. Huh?"},{"startTime":3049.254,"endTime":3050.63,"body":"Oh, my God, my dear."},{"startTime":3050.63,"endTime":3053.216,"body":"I was like, okay."},{"startTime":3053.216,"endTime":3055.969,"body":"So where are disco? Where are they?"},{"startTime":3055.969,"endTime":3058.18,"body":"Under there. By house. In a safe."},{"startTime":3058.18,"endTime":3058.93,"body":"And a. Lot."},{"startTime":3058.93,"endTime":3063.351,"body":"And my was right here in"},{"startTime":3058.93,"endTime":3063.351,"body":"Hollywood are independent."},{"startTime":3063.852,"endTime":3066.605,"body":"Yeah, but how smart feel like I remember"},{"startTime":3066.605,"endTime":3069.941,"body":"seeing them like, their during the"},{"startTime":3066.605,"endTime":3069.941,"body":"all of the eighties."},{"startTime":3069.941,"endTime":3071.943,"body":"He stopped doing them in June of 85."},{"startTime":3071.943,"endTime":3075.238,"body":"I've actually and I can look at them"},{"startTime":3071.943,"endTime":3075.238,"body":"and know when he did. Oh."},{"startTime":3075.989,"endTime":3078.45,"body":"and now there's a lot of fakes"},{"startTime":3075.989,"endTime":3078.45,"body":"and I can tell them."},{"startTime":3078.45,"endTime":3079.951,"body":"Oh wow. Okay."},{"startTime":3079.951,"endTime":3082.913,"body":"Yes He's kind of easy to knock off. Hmm."},{"startTime":3082.913,"endTime":3085.916,"body":"Try to knock them off"},{"startTime":3082.913,"endTime":3085.916,"body":"and put them on distressed paper."},{"startTime":3086.958,"endTime":3091.046,"body":"And I'm like, Oh, they're me"},{"startTime":3086.958,"endTime":3091.046,"body":"and one other guy who an artist. Mm."},{"startTime":3091.588,"endTime":3092.923,"body":"Worked with. Harry."},{"startTime":3092.923,"endTime":3093.924,"body":"Oh, wow."},{"startTime":3093.924,"endTime":3097.01,"body":"You met him. Or did you? I, I now know."},{"startTime":3097.052,"endTime":3101.765,"body":"Yeah, No, but he stopped in June at 802"},{"startTime":3097.052,"endTime":3101.765,"body":"and he did thousands."},{"startTime":3102.099,"endTime":3102.432,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":3102.432,"endTime":3104.309,"body":"So I was thinking, like in my head,"},{"startTime":3104.309,"endTime":3106.019,"body":"I was like,"},{"startTime":3104.309,"endTime":3106.019,"body":"why wasn't I smart enough to do that?"},{"startTime":3106.019,"endTime":3108.188,"body":"But I wasn't in New York then."},{"startTime":3106.019,"endTime":3108.188,"body":"But even so."},{"startTime":3108.188,"endTime":3112.526,"body":"Because the road or probably"},{"startTime":3108.188,"endTime":3112.526,"body":"the road has a huge record collection."},{"startTime":3112.901,"endTime":3114.778,"body":"And, well,"},{"startTime":3112.901,"endTime":3114.778,"body":"they have a retrospective. That's."},{"startTime":3114.778,"endTime":3116.363,"body":"Do you ever lend your stuff to them?"},{"startTime":3116.363,"endTime":3117.03,"body":"I or I."},{"startTime":3117.03,"endTime":3118.865,"body":"Just laugh"},{"startTime":3117.03,"endTime":3118.865,"body":"out loud in the museum. You go in."},{"startTime":3118.865,"endTime":3120.033,"body":"I do. I just go."},{"startTime":3121.034,"endTime":3121.243,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":3121.243,"endTime":3125.038,"body":"They are you know,"},{"startTime":3121.243,"endTime":3125.038,"body":"they were in like a Whitney retrospective."},{"startTime":3125.038,"endTime":3126.832,"body":"Oh, amazing."},{"startTime":3126.832,"endTime":3128.959,"body":"The nineties. And some of them."},{"startTime":3128.959,"endTime":3130.168,"body":"No travel. Before."},{"startTime":3130.168,"endTime":3132.17,"body":"Oh, have you ever like"},{"startTime":3132.17,"endTime":3134.381,"body":"I'm sure you touched them to grab them"},{"startTime":3132.17,"endTime":3134.381,"body":"but you really touch the."},{"startTime":3134.381,"endTime":3136.758,"body":"Chocolate and you want to fucking know"},{"startTime":3134.381,"endTime":3136.758,"body":"I don't touch it."},{"startTime":3136.758,"endTime":3139.177,"body":"You are. Amazing."},{"startTime":3136.758,"endTime":3139.177,"body":"Yeah. Yeah. There's, they're very."},{"startTime":3139.177,"endTime":3143.056,"body":"So even taking them down"},{"startTime":3139.177,"endTime":3143.056,"body":"when you were stealing them did you."},{"startTime":3143.932,"endTime":3146.893,"body":"From the subway stations."},{"startTime":3146.893,"endTime":3148.854,"body":"He was vandalizing."},{"startTime":3148.854,"endTime":3149.312,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3149.312,"endTime":3151.273,"body":"Oh that's right."},{"startTime":3151.273,"endTime":3152.858,"body":"Well we'll when it advertisement."},{"startTime":3152.858,"endTime":3155.735,"body":"When, when the release was up"},{"startTime":3152.858,"endTime":3155.735,"body":"they put black paper over it"},{"startTime":3155.735,"endTime":3158.071,"body":"there's all this,"},{"startTime":3155.735,"endTime":3158.071,"body":"these black paper to draw on."},{"startTime":3158.071,"endTime":3159.447,"body":"So he started doing his drawing."},{"startTime":3159.447,"endTime":3161.449,"body":"Oh he was arrested a lot."},{"startTime":3161.449,"endTime":3163.91,"body":"Wow. I had no idea."},{"startTime":3163.91,"endTime":3166.705,"body":"I thought they were just up like,"},{"startTime":3163.91,"endTime":3166.705,"body":"you know, like the way people spray"},{"startTime":3166.705,"endTime":3168.248,"body":"paint stuff and do murals."},{"startTime":3168.248,"endTime":3171.293,"body":"And you're right,"},{"startTime":3168.248,"endTime":3171.293,"body":"he didn't want people to take them."},{"startTime":3171.96,"endTime":3175.714,"body":"So I did, in a sense, violate his wishes."},{"startTime":3176.256,"endTime":3178.508,"body":"But I only in my mind"},{"startTime":3179.801,"endTime":3180.886,"body":"it was."},{"startTime":3180.886,"endTime":3183.68,"body":"We're here with art, the."},{"startTime":3183.68,"endTime":3184.306,"body":"Opinion."},{"startTime":3184.306,"endTime":3187.309,"body":"But and also they wouldn't exist anymore."},{"startTime":3187.642,"endTime":3189.06,"body":"I only took A few."},{"startTime":3189.06,"endTime":3192.063,"body":"But I mean, just it was that"},{"startTime":3192.439,"endTime":3195.233,"body":"I never who would have had the wherewithal"},{"startTime":3192.439,"endTime":3195.233,"body":"to think that's."},{"startTime":3195.233,"endTime":3197.986,"body":"Honestly. You know,"},{"startTime":3195.233,"endTime":3197.986,"body":"I mean, you just think whatever."},{"startTime":3197.986,"endTime":3198.737,"body":"I don't know."},{"startTime":3198.737,"endTime":3205.035,"body":"The first few times I went, I went to a"},{"startTime":3198.737,"endTime":3205.035,"body":"ride dressed like a cat and I'd be like."},{"startTime":3205.577,"endTime":3207.537,"body":"Oh, amazing."},{"startTime":3207.537,"endTime":3209.414,"body":"But then I was like,"},{"startTime":3207.537,"endTime":3209.414,"body":"Oh, it's New York City."},{"startTime":3209.414,"endTime":3212.5,"body":"Like,"},{"startTime":3209.414,"endTime":3212.5,"body":"then I would just go like on a Sunday"},{"startTime":3212.667,"endTime":3215.337,"body":"at 12 noon with cops on the platform."},{"startTime":3215.337,"endTime":3219.174,"body":"And it's the classic thing where if you"},{"startTime":3215.337,"endTime":3219.174,"body":"act like you're supposed to be doing that."},{"startTime":3219.507,"endTime":3220.383,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3220.383,"endTime":3222.052,"body":"Oh, that's so cool."},{"startTime":3222.052,"endTime":3223.637,"body":"No one even know what that's like."},{"startTime":3223.637,"endTime":3227.682,"body":"You're wearing cables into a into a show"},{"startTime":3223.637,"endTime":3227.682,"body":"to get into concerts for free."},{"startTime":3227.724,"endTime":3229.935,"body":"thing"},{"startTime":3227.724,"endTime":3229.935,"body":"you guys. We've taken this Dallas girl."},{"startTime":3229.935,"endTime":3230.727,"body":"She is great."},{"startTime":3230.727,"endTime":3233.521,"body":"I mean, she is like a cute blond, too,"},{"startTime":3230.727,"endTime":3233.521,"body":"but she put an apron on"},{"startTime":3233.521,"endTime":3236.399,"body":"and she'd get boxes"},{"startTime":3233.521,"endTime":3236.399,"body":"and she'd go to the back and go catering."},{"startTime":3236.399,"endTime":3240.445,"body":"And if they let her in to show that she"},{"startTime":3236.399,"endTime":3240.445,"body":"just did the box and the apron Oh, that's."},{"startTime":3240.779,"endTime":3242.656,"body":"That's really cool."},{"startTime":3242.656,"endTime":3243.782,"body":"Oh, that's amazing."},{"startTime":3243.782,"endTime":3244.407,"body":"I used to do"},{"startTime":3244.407,"endTime":3248.995,"body":"I used to sneak into places and then"},{"startTime":3244.407,"endTime":3248.995,"body":"I'd make friends with the security guard"},{"startTime":3249.704,"endTime":3251.873,"body":"so I could go and get my friends and like,"},{"startTime":3251.873,"endTime":3253.75,"body":"I'd make friends"},{"startTime":3251.873,"endTime":3253.75,"body":"with a security guard at the door."},{"startTime":3253.75,"endTime":3255.794,"body":"Mm hmm. Okay, I'll be right back."},{"startTime":3255.794,"endTime":3258.797,"body":"And it's there with, like, three friends."},{"startTime":3259.13,"endTime":3260.674,"body":"That's incredible."},{"startTime":3260.674,"endTime":3263.969,"body":"He was shooting a video right near us."},{"startTime":3264.01,"endTime":3265.553,"body":"Go to school, and I."},{"startTime":3265.553,"endTime":3268.223,"body":"You know,"},{"startTime":3265.553,"endTime":3268.223,"body":"I just follow the video cables out"},{"startTime":3268.223,"endTime":3271.977,"body":"to this club, and I just walked in like"},{"startTime":3268.223,"endTime":3271.977,"body":"I was supposed to be there in the lobby,"},{"startTime":3272.018,"endTime":3274.02,"body":"and I'm standing next to David Bowie."},{"startTime":3274.02,"endTime":3275.146,"body":"Oh, my gosh."},{"startTime":3275.146,"endTime":3278.608,"body":"Music video"},{"startTime":3275.146,"endTime":3278.608,"body":"for the song Fashion that like, I like"},{"startTime":3279.734,"endTime":3282.737,"body":"I can't"},{"startTime":3279.734,"endTime":3282.737,"body":"because he was doing that on Broadway."},{"startTime":3282.737,"endTime":3284.322,"body":"Oh, my God. Monday on his day off."},{"startTime":3284.322,"endTime":3289.16,"body":"So. And I think I made a joke like,"},{"startTime":3284.322,"endTime":3289.16,"body":"Oh, are you doing a music video"},{"startTime":3289.452,"endTime":3290.537,"body":"on your day off?"},{"startTime":3290.537,"endTime":3291.788,"body":"You're real."},{"startTime":3291.788,"endTime":3294.124,"body":"You really know how to relax. You know?"},{"startTime":3294.124,"endTime":3295.959,"body":"Uh huh, uh."},{"startTime":3295.959,"endTime":3298.67,"body":"The only time I ever tried, like,"},{"startTime":3295.959,"endTime":3298.67,"body":"so many things,"},{"startTime":3298.67,"endTime":3301.131,"body":"but I had all these Bowie fanatic friends."},{"startTime":3301.131,"endTime":3301.798,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3301.798,"endTime":3305.427,"body":"So I went about is amazing."},{"startTime":3305.677,"endTime":3307.053,"body":"Yeah, we did. That."},{"startTime":3307.053,"endTime":3310.14,"body":"We faked it"},{"startTime":3307.053,"endTime":3310.14,"body":"till we made it until the Redlands bus."},{"startTime":3310.14,"endTime":3311.975,"body":"And then. Oh, yeah, but this."},{"startTime":3310.14,"endTime":3311.975,"body":"How did you do that?"},{"startTime":3311.975,"endTime":3314.394,"body":"We just walked on with it just loud."},{"startTime":3314.394,"endTime":3315.02,"body":"I love. It."},{"startTime":3315.02,"endTime":3316.271,"body":"But you're in such close quarters"},{"startTime":3316.271,"endTime":3318.523,"body":"that as soon as the other"},{"startTime":3316.271,"endTime":3318.523,"body":"four people in the bus realize, they're"},{"startTime":3318.523,"endTime":3319.19,"body":"like, Who are you?"},{"startTime":3320.191,"endTime":3320.608,"body":"Is the hills."},{"startTime":3320.608,"endTime":3321.776,"body":"I know, but we mean."},{"startTime":3321.776,"endTime":3324.779,"body":"What happened, how deep into that it was."},{"startTime":3325.03,"endTime":3328.033,"body":"But we were in the living room, I guess."},{"startTime":3328.742,"endTime":3330.535,"body":"And that's pretty great."},{"startTime":3330.535,"endTime":3332.162,"body":"That's kind of obvious."},{"startTime":3332.162,"endTime":3334.789,"body":"To put Loretta on ice."},{"startTime":3334.789,"endTime":3335.874,"body":"You know, she used to be like."},{"startTime":3335.874,"endTime":3337.542,"body":"She was gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":3337.542,"endTime":3339.336,"body":"Like, yeah, with a lower."},{"startTime":3339.336,"endTime":3340.92,"body":"Lower, lower, lower level."},{"startTime":3340.92,"endTime":3344.299,"body":"Last time I saw her pool ball gown. Right."},{"startTime":3344.299,"endTime":3345.342,"body":"But can't even walk."},{"startTime":3345.342,"endTime":3348.345,"body":"She's golf cart to the stage"},{"startTime":3345.342,"endTime":3348.345,"body":"because that's how we knew to get to her"},{"startTime":3348.345,"endTime":3351.264,"body":"bus because she's an A golfer"},{"startTime":3348.345,"endTime":3351.264,"body":"we can be faster."},{"startTime":3351.264,"endTime":3351.681,"body":"Literally."},{"startTime":3351.681,"endTime":3355.602,"body":"The last time I saw I was right a little"},{"startTime":3351.681,"endTime":3355.602,"body":"I was as she's being carried up"},{"startTime":3355.643,"endTime":3357.896,"body":"by a strong man he has her in his arms"},{"startTime":3357.896,"endTime":3360.899,"body":"as she's being carried up"},{"startTime":3357.896,"endTime":3360.899,"body":"the steps of the bus in a full ball gown."},{"startTime":3360.94,"endTime":3361.691,"body":"And it was her birthday."},{"startTime":3361.691,"endTime":3364.402,"body":"So world on happy birthday to you."},{"startTime":3364.402,"endTime":3366.946,"body":"And the red light"},{"startTime":3364.402,"endTime":3366.946,"body":"goes at my birthday again already."},{"startTime":3366.946,"endTime":3369.866,"body":"And there she went, Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":3369.866,"endTime":3371.242,"body":"And then she voted for Trump. And I"},{"startTime":3376.331,"endTime":3377.999,"body":"We were so lucky"},{"startTime":3377.999,"endTime":3382.045,"body":"to have Mike Sweeney here today"},{"startTime":3377.999,"endTime":3382.045,"body":"who's so goddamn funny."},{"startTime":3382.253,"endTime":3383.671,"body":"No, I mean, it."},{"startTime":3383.671,"endTime":3386.466,"body":"It went by like. Like a week."},{"startTime":3386.466,"endTime":3387.717,"body":"No. Yeah."},{"startTime":3387.717,"endTime":3389.844,"body":"No, but I know. So, Mike, you're going to."},{"startTime":3389.844,"endTime":3392.472,"body":"We're going to have to do a part"},{"startTime":3389.844,"endTime":3392.472,"body":"two of Mike Sweeney, for sure."},{"startTime":3392.472,"endTime":3394.015,"body":"We've seen these. Days."},{"startTime":3394.015,"endTime":3396.017,"body":"Oh, yeah. Of this."},{"startTime":3396.017,"endTime":3397.685,"body":"Podcast. That's."},{"startTime":3397.685,"endTime":3400.271,"body":"But you and Laurie still do."},{"startTime":3397.685,"endTime":3400.271,"body":"Every once in a while, you do podcast."},{"startTime":3400.271,"endTime":3402.982,"body":"You know, I come back. With Jesse Gaskill,"},{"startTime":3400.271,"endTime":3402.982,"body":"who's a hilarious."},{"startTime":3402.982,"endTime":3404.526,"body":"Oh, okay, great."},{"startTime":3404.526,"endTime":3407.529,"body":"That it's, of course, about CONAN."},{"startTime":3408.238,"endTime":3411.241,"body":"CONAN"},{"startTime":3408.238,"endTime":3411.241,"body":"And we talk about, you know, sketches"},{"startTime":3411.574,"endTime":3413.91,"body":"and travel shows and things like that."},{"startTime":3413.91,"endTime":3416.329,"body":"Oh, yes. Oh, that's fantastic."},{"startTime":3416.329,"endTime":3419.416,"body":"In the nineties,"},{"startTime":3416.329,"endTime":3419.416,"body":"we went to do the NBC tour."},{"startTime":3419.499,"endTime":3422.335,"body":"Yeah, and saw the Rosie O'Donnell studio."},{"startTime":3419.499,"endTime":3422.335,"body":"Yes. Studio."},{"startTime":3422.335,"endTime":3423.795,"body":"All the Vietnam era."},{"startTime":3423.795,"endTime":3426.506,"body":"And then the guest was Kevin Bacon."},{"startTime":3426.506,"endTime":3428.049,"body":"And so we lined up for the tickets."},{"startTime":3428.049,"endTime":3430.385,"body":"It was on The Rosie Show, Your show."},{"startTime":3430.385,"endTime":3433.346,"body":"Oh. CONAN okay. Kevin Bacon was the guest."},{"startTime":3433.346,"endTime":3433.721,"body":"All right."},{"startTime":3433.721,"endTime":3436.224,"body":"Line up like you had to do for tickets"},{"startTime":3433.721,"endTime":3436.224,"body":"right on the street"},{"startTime":3436.224,"endTime":3438.768,"body":"and you show back up at like 1045, right?"},{"startTime":3438.768,"endTime":3441.771,"body":"Or 430, whatever. STANLEY And we did."},{"startTime":3442.021,"endTime":3445.692,"body":"And they Kevin Bacon had to be somewhere"},{"startTime":3442.021,"endTime":3445.692,"body":"so that everybody to film early."},{"startTime":3445.692,"endTime":3447.485,"body":"So they turned us all the way."},{"startTime":3447.485,"endTime":3451.406,"body":"We not have that ticket somewhere"},{"startTime":3447.485,"endTime":3451.406,"body":"The NBC went with the."},{"startTime":3451.656,"endTime":3455.577,"body":"Kevin Bacon owes you"},{"startTime":3451.656,"endTime":3455.577,"body":"an interview owes us an interview."},{"startTime":3456.119,"endTime":3458.413,"body":"Well,"},{"startTime":3456.119,"endTime":3458.413,"body":"I. Know where he lives in Los Angeles."},{"startTime":3458.413,"endTime":3460.457,"body":"Really? What?"},{"startTime":3460.457,"endTime":3462.667,"body":"But you're good friends with Kevin Bacon."},{"startTime":3460.457,"endTime":3462.667,"body":"We can ask and convert."},{"startTime":3462.667,"endTime":3463.334,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":3463.334,"endTime":3466.963,"body":"Well, I sat I'll drive you"},{"startTime":3463.334,"endTime":3466.963,"body":"my first week in L.A., living here."},{"startTime":3466.963,"endTime":3470.133,"body":"I drove to Malibu, and I hated"},{"startTime":3466.963,"endTime":3470.133,"body":"the real end, which is a great play."},{"startTime":3470.258,"endTime":3473.178,"body":"But I sat next to Kevin Bacon"},{"startTime":3470.258,"endTime":3473.178,"body":"and Cat Centric,"},{"startTime":3473.178,"endTime":3475.847,"body":"and I wanted to pick that bone"},{"startTime":3473.178,"endTime":3475.847,"body":"with him by thought was not"},{"startTime":3476.973,"endTime":3478.725,"body":"picked up."},{"startTime":3478.725,"endTime":3479.976,"body":"Well, we just have to interview him."},{"startTime":3479.976,"endTime":3481.227,"body":"And then you can feel like I."},{"startTime":3481.227,"endTime":3482.27,"body":"Ambush him right at the end of the day."},{"startTime":3482.27,"endTime":3484.731,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks for coming."},{"startTime":3484.731,"endTime":3486.9,"body":"Okay. Bye bye."},{"startTime":3486.9,"endTime":3488.693,"body":"yeah, he. Thank you."}]}