{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":8.8,"endTime":10.427,"body":"Welcome to what we thought would happen."},{"startTime":10.427,"endTime":13.388,"body":"Good morning. How are you?"},{"startTime":13.388,"endTime":18.476,"body":"We are so fortunate to have the lovely"},{"startTime":13.388,"endTime":18.476,"body":"and talented Fielding Edler with us."},{"startTime":18.518,"endTime":23.314,"body":"Yeah, I met Fielding at her show,"},{"startTime":18.518,"endTime":23.314,"body":"which was amazing."},{"startTime":23.606,"endTime":26.609,"body":"Eat, Pray, Fuck at the Improv."},{"startTime":26.693,"endTime":27.569,"body":"And that's."},{"startTime":27.569,"endTime":29.404,"body":"I was like, Geez, actually,"},{"startTime":27.569,"endTime":29.404,"body":"it's hilarious."},{"startTime":29.404,"endTime":30.905,"body":"I want to be her friend."},{"startTime":30.905,"endTime":33.908,"body":"I mean, just like,"},{"startTime":30.905,"endTime":33.908,"body":"I kind of took Daniel to see."},{"startTime":34.242,"endTime":36.036,"body":"Every person she wants to be friends with."},{"startTime":36.036,"endTime":38.955,"body":"She collects in this room up in her attic."},{"startTime":36.036,"endTime":38.955,"body":"And I've never locked the door."},{"startTime":38.955,"endTime":41.041,"body":"No, I've been here since. Yeah,"},{"startTime":38.955,"endTime":41.041,"body":"Yeah, exactly."},{"startTime":41.041,"endTime":42.584,"body":"I'm sleeping here tonight, but welcome."},{"startTime":42.584,"endTime":43.209,"body":"How are. You?"},{"startTime":43.209,"endTime":45.628,"body":"I'm good."},{"startTime":43.209,"endTime":45.628,"body":"Thanks for having me. You brought snacks?"},{"startTime":45.628,"endTime":48.173,"body":"Of course I did. So sweet. But we're here."},{"startTime":48.173,"endTime":49.841,"body":"Celebrate. You're headed to Edinburgh?"},{"startTime":48.173,"endTime":49.841,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":49.841,"endTime":52.093,"body":"Go in Edinburgh with the show."},{"startTime":52.093,"endTime":54.846,"body":"Solo show called"},{"startTime":52.093,"endTime":54.846,"body":"Gaslighting is My Love Language."},{"startTime":54.846,"endTime":57.599,"body":"And I think that's"},{"startTime":54.846,"endTime":57.599,"body":"the best thing about it, is."},{"startTime":58.683,"endTime":59.601,"body":"Yeah, now it is."},{"startTime":59.601,"endTime":61.728,"body":"And leopard pants."},{"startTime":59.601,"endTime":61.728,"body":"But yeah, that's the feeling."},{"startTime":61.728,"endTime":64.814,"body":"I saw some of your show and it was great."},{"startTime":64.814,"endTime":65.857,"body":"I think it's going to be."},{"startTime":65.857,"endTime":70.82,"body":"You try to collide"},{"startTime":65.857,"endTime":70.82,"body":"with my weird new strain CBD oil but no."},{"startTime":70.862,"endTime":71.821,"body":"Yeah I appreciate it."},{"startTime":71.821,"endTime":74.741,"body":"Laura You're kind of like a wannabe"},{"startTime":71.821,"endTime":74.741,"body":"euchre, right?"},{"startTime":74.741,"endTime":76.868,"body":"I am. I don't want to be in America. Yeah."},{"startTime":76.868,"endTime":78.286,"body":"What is there to like. You to put up?"},{"startTime":78.286,"endTime":80.622,"body":"Either, like, in Ireland or Scotland or I?"},{"startTime":80.622,"endTime":82.791,"body":"She texted me saying,"},{"startTime":80.622,"endTime":82.791,"body":"I just want to be on a bicycle"},{"startTime":82.791,"endTime":85.543,"body":"in Amsterdam like a ferret"},{"startTime":82.791,"endTime":85.543,"body":"and like a Danish."},{"startTime":85.543,"endTime":86.836,"body":"Like, yeah, you need to be in and."},{"startTime":86.836,"endTime":89.964,"body":"I know I have been in my"},{"startTime":86.836,"endTime":89.964,"body":"a good friend of mine, Nicole, goes"},{"startTime":89.964,"endTime":93.718,"body":"to Lille, lives there, and I've been there"},{"startTime":89.964,"endTime":93.718,"body":"on and off about five times."},{"startTime":93.718,"endTime":96.137,"body":"And I just"},{"startTime":93.718,"endTime":96.137,"body":"I feel like maybe I'll end up there."},{"startTime":96.137,"endTime":99.641,"body":"But I want to get you a PBS show"},{"startTime":96.137,"endTime":99.641,"body":"where it's like Laura's Ireland."},{"startTime":100.058,"endTime":101.017,"body":"I would love."},{"startTime":101.017,"endTime":104.437,"body":"I say you just go to, like, every dive"},{"startTime":101.017,"endTime":104.437,"body":"bar, like a walking cigar bucket."},{"startTime":104.813,"endTime":106.689,"body":"Yeah, just"},{"startTime":104.813,"endTime":106.689,"body":"I just want to announce a few things."},{"startTime":106.689,"endTime":108.608,"body":"That seems to be a soft pitch right now."},{"startTime":106.689,"endTime":108.608,"body":"I just."},{"startTime":108.608,"endTime":109.776,"body":"Yeah, Yeah."},{"startTime":109.776,"endTime":111.319,"body":"Something like we have."},{"startTime":111.319,"endTime":114.364,"body":"Just go next. Time on Laura."},{"startTime":111.319,"endTime":114.364,"body":"I'll be a grip."},{"startTime":114.364,"endTime":114.948,"body":"I don't care."},{"startTime":114.948,"endTime":118.284,"body":"I, like, learn how to speak English"},{"startTime":114.948,"endTime":118.284,"body":"and then go over there."},{"startTime":118.868,"endTime":119.744,"body":"Oh, God."},{"startTime":119.744,"endTime":122.455,"body":"Like Alan coming to. Yeah."},{"startTime":122.455,"endTime":124.999,"body":"So I said smoking cigars."},{"startTime":122.455,"endTime":124.999,"body":"You smoke cigars?"},{"startTime":124.999,"endTime":125.917,"body":"I did smoke."},{"startTime":125.917,"endTime":130.505,"body":"I Well, okay, so I with my friend Troy"},{"startTime":125.917,"endTime":130.505,"body":"and there's a cigar bar near the Improv."},{"startTime":130.505,"endTime":131.256,"body":"Have you guys seen this?"},{"startTime":131.256,"endTime":134.801,"body":"Like,"},{"startTime":131.256,"endTime":134.801,"body":"very like what's a Norman Mailer three?"},{"startTime":134.926,"endTime":135.76,"body":"Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":135.76,"endTime":137.887,"body":"And there's a secret room in the back."},{"startTime":137.887,"endTime":138.972,"body":"Oh, cigars."},{"startTime":138.972,"endTime":142.684,"body":"So I being like a,"},{"startTime":138.972,"endTime":142.684,"body":"you know, sober a long time."},{"startTime":142.684,"endTime":143.685,"body":"I was, like, being such a loser."},{"startTime":143.685,"endTime":146.688,"body":"I'm like, my going to get a little buzz"},{"startTime":143.685,"endTime":146.688,"body":"from this guy."},{"startTime":146.688,"endTime":149.649,"body":"And I did. Yeah. Cigar"},{"startTime":146.688,"endTime":149.649,"body":"business. Card. Yeah."},{"startTime":149.649,"endTime":150.441,"body":"Wow. Yeah."},{"startTime":150.441,"endTime":151.025,"body":"Cigars."},{"startTime":151.025,"endTime":154.112,"body":"Now, my dad, you know, I saw him probably,"},{"startTime":154.112,"endTime":157.115,"body":"like, eight times in my life,"},{"startTime":154.112,"endTime":157.115,"body":"and he had a cigar."},{"startTime":157.115,"endTime":160.702,"body":"Usually he was either eating chocolate"},{"startTime":157.115,"endTime":160.702,"body":"or smoking a cigar."},{"startTime":160.702,"endTime":162.37,"body":"And so I just, you know."},{"startTime":162.37,"endTime":164.956,"body":"It's sort of like a Pavlovian thing"},{"startTime":162.37,"endTime":164.956,"body":"or somebody smoking."},{"startTime":164.956,"endTime":171.004,"body":"Yeah, I just associate that with a cold,"},{"startTime":164.956,"endTime":171.004,"body":"you see, like, Yeah, yeah, I was married."},{"startTime":171.004,"endTime":172.505,"body":"I okay. Cheating on his wife."},{"startTime":172.505,"endTime":175.091,"body":"So I really I have that's"},{"startTime":172.505,"endTime":175.091,"body":"you know, that's the cigars are to me."},{"startTime":176.134,"endTime":179.137,"body":"Well because you know my mom"},{"startTime":176.134,"endTime":179.137,"body":"was absolutely yeah yeah all that shit."},{"startTime":179.179,"endTime":183.725,"body":"I mean I don't mean say absolutely"},{"startTime":179.179,"endTime":183.725,"body":"but yeah yeah story or."},{"startTime":183.892,"endTime":186.728,"body":"I mean it's"},{"startTime":183.892,"endTime":186.728,"body":"sort of an obnoxious set on some level."},{"startTime":186.728,"endTime":188.646,"body":"I mean, I like doing something new."},{"startTime":188.646,"endTime":189.939,"body":"Like I'm all about the new, right?"},{"startTime":189.939,"endTime":192.066,"body":"Yeah, sure. I just love indoor smoking."},{"startTime":192.066,"endTime":195.904,"body":"But you're, you're not supposed to, you're"},{"startTime":192.066,"endTime":195.904,"body":"not supposed to inhale cigaret cigars."},{"startTime":195.904,"endTime":197.405,"body":"And I always do."},{"startTime":197.405,"endTime":198.198,"body":"Accidentally."},{"startTime":198.198,"endTime":201.743,"body":"I was, I mean, I was like, besieged"},{"startTime":198.198,"endTime":201.743,"body":"aggressively to be like, do not inhale."},{"startTime":201.784,"endTime":202.368,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":202.368,"endTime":205.955,"body":"And so I was so I don't even know if"},{"startTime":202.368,"endTime":205.955,"body":"I took a little puff but like, do you get."},{"startTime":205.955,"endTime":208.499,"body":"To pick who you smoke with"},{"startTime":205.955,"endTime":208.499,"body":"or they just put you in with everybody?"},{"startTime":208.499,"endTime":210.668,"body":"They put you in"},{"startTime":208.499,"endTime":210.668,"body":"whatever. It's like a like a dating"},{"startTime":212.795,"endTime":213.546,"body":"be smoking."},{"startTime":213.546,"endTime":216.257,"body":"Yeah. I mean that's another soft pitch,"},{"startTime":213.546,"endTime":216.257,"body":"guys. Yeah."},{"startTime":216.257,"endTime":218.384,"body":"I kind of episode. Well"},{"startTime":218.384,"endTime":222.013,"body":"if you're going to Ember or like people"},{"startTime":218.384,"endTime":222.013,"body":"that's a smoky place right Like."},{"startTime":222.013,"endTime":227.435,"body":"Yeah I love cigaret smoke like I love"},{"startTime":222.013,"endTime":227.435,"body":"like I'm excited to date a smoker"},{"startTime":227.435,"endTime":229.729,"body":"and a drinker. Yeah. Oh, you're."},{"startTime":229.729,"endTime":230.521,"body":"Wild, right?"},{"startTime":230.521,"endTime":233.233,"body":"Yeah, I would be okay to do an I.V."},{"startTime":233.233,"endTime":234.067,"body":"with other people."},{"startTime":234.067,"endTime":236.903,"body":"I don't know, but not smoke, share."},{"startTime":234.067,"endTime":236.903,"body":"And maybe even."},{"startTime":236.903,"endTime":239.781,"body":"Colorado. Nice. My friend was like,"},{"startTime":236.903,"endTime":239.781,"body":"I had too much to drink."},{"startTime":239.781,"endTime":241.991,"body":"I just have to do a quick I.V.,"},{"startTime":239.781,"endTime":241.991,"body":"and then I'll meet you."},{"startTime":241.991,"endTime":243.826,"body":"Wow, that's insane. Yeah. Do you?"},{"startTime":243.826,"endTime":246.913,"body":"But it was just in the Times,"},{"startTime":243.826,"endTime":246.913,"body":"like it's a whole movement"},{"startTime":246.913,"endTime":248.915,"body":"of, like, getting the infusion."},{"startTime":248.915,"endTime":251.376,"body":"It's like, to stay hydrated"},{"startTime":248.915,"endTime":251.376,"body":"so you can, like,"},{"startTime":251.376,"endTime":254.087,"body":"I don't know, still drinking"},{"startTime":251.376,"endTime":254.087,"body":"and not destroy your life. Right?"},{"startTime":254.087,"endTime":256.589,"body":"I always loved the destruction."},{"startTime":254.087,"endTime":256.589,"body":"And that's why I was like, Yeah, right."},{"startTime":256.589,"endTime":257.799,"body":"I mean, why are you trying to"},{"startTime":259.092,"endTime":261.219,"body":"act? Yeah, that kind of kind of ruins"},{"startTime":259.092,"endTime":261.219,"body":"that."},{"startTime":261.219,"endTime":262.262,"body":"Like the whole point of it."},{"startTime":262.262,"endTime":264.764,"body":"Like I'm"},{"startTime":262.262,"endTime":264.764,"body":"almost at the point of overdosing."},{"startTime":264.764,"endTime":266.891,"body":"But wait, let me say so."},{"startTime":266.891,"endTime":267.517,"body":"Call the more."},{"startTime":267.517,"endTime":268.434,"body":"My stomach pumping."},{"startTime":268.434,"endTime":270.603,"body":"Yeah,"},{"startTime":268.434,"endTime":270.603,"body":"because I'm going to Aspen at the little."},{"startTime":270.603,"endTime":274.19,"body":"It's the weird form of strange form"},{"startTime":270.603,"endTime":274.19,"body":"of edging that."},{"startTime":274.19,"endTime":274.983,"body":"Right. Right."},{"startTime":274.983,"endTime":277.068,"body":"Yeah. Drink something new. Edgy."},{"startTime":277.068,"endTime":278.987,"body":"So, what have you been like?"},{"startTime":277.068,"endTime":278.987,"body":"Dating's crazy."},{"startTime":278.987,"endTime":281.99,"body":"We live in Los Angeles."},{"startTime":278.987,"endTime":281.99,"body":"That's a nightmare."},{"startTime":282.24,"endTime":285.952,"body":"Yeah, I actually just took myself off"},{"startTime":282.24,"endTime":285.952,"body":"hinge, and I'm like, Oh, really?"},{"startTime":285.952,"endTime":286.536,"body":"Cesspool."},{"startTime":286.536,"endTime":290.707,"body":"But I think it's my profile was just so,"},{"startTime":286.536,"endTime":290.707,"body":"like, weird and, like, contrarian."},{"startTime":290.915,"endTime":293.71,"body":"But they said hinge"},{"startTime":290.915,"endTime":293.71,"body":"specifically is set up for that."},{"startTime":293.71,"endTime":297.964,"body":"Like the palms that they ask you and"},{"startTime":293.71,"endTime":297.964,"body":"you can do like a little voice recording."},{"startTime":298.006,"endTime":298.548,"body":"Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":298.548,"endTime":300.341,"body":"Like basically a soft pitch for yourself"},{"startTime":300.341,"endTime":303.428,"body":"or like, I'm an asshole"},{"startTime":300.341,"endTime":303.428,"body":"and I eat late at night."},{"startTime":303.553,"endTime":305.888,"body":"I pronounce my name melt."},{"startTime":305.888,"endTime":308.349,"body":"Yeah. Like, and you're like,"},{"startTime":305.888,"endTime":308.349,"body":"Go fuck yourself."},{"startTime":308.349,"endTime":311.352,"body":"There should be a high maintenance thing"},{"startTime":308.349,"endTime":311.352,"body":"just call it high maintenance."},{"startTime":311.436,"endTime":312.228,"body":"Is a date."},{"startTime":312.228,"endTime":313.813,"body":"Someone who is like a drinker"},{"startTime":313.813,"endTime":316.816,"body":"because they inevitably do"},{"startTime":313.813,"endTime":316.816,"body":"and like pick out at the end of the."},{"startTime":316.858,"endTime":320.653,"body":"Well, I just want something Like what"},{"startTime":316.858,"endTime":320.653,"body":"I want what I haven't had, you know,"},{"startTime":320.945,"endTime":323.865,"body":"like I for me, I feel like my next book,"},{"startTime":320.945,"endTime":323.865,"body":"like someone's got to check out"},{"startTime":325.992,"endTime":326.492,"body":"my marriage."},{"startTime":326.492,"endTime":329.495,"body":"We were just like,"},{"startTime":326.492,"endTime":329.495,"body":"way amped and like, they're,"},{"startTime":329.662,"endTime":332.665,"body":"you know, not"},{"startTime":329.662,"endTime":332.665,"body":"I mean, he was always on Instagram, but."},{"startTime":332.874,"endTime":334.584,"body":"He was still in the room. Yeah."},{"startTime":334.584,"endTime":338.588,"body":"I feel like too, if you, you know, for me,"},{"startTime":334.584,"endTime":338.588,"body":"anyway, each drink lowers the bar."},{"startTime":338.88,"endTime":342.592,"body":"So by the end of a day, you know,"},{"startTime":338.88,"endTime":342.592,"body":"it's at my ankles pretty much like"},{"startTime":342.592,"endTime":346.346,"body":"I don't you know, what have in common"},{"startTime":342.592,"endTime":346.346,"body":"is that we drink but that's okay right."},{"startTime":346.512,"endTime":349.265,"body":"Or just"},{"startTime":346.512,"endTime":349.265,"body":"Yeah yeah. So I'm chewing. No, I'm. Kind."},{"startTime":349.265,"endTime":351.351,"body":"That yeah. I was just. Like, Oh."},{"startTime":351.351,"endTime":353.144,"body":"No. Laura story."},{"startTime":353.144,"endTime":355.563,"body":"No, I know. You're enjoying some."},{"startTime":355.563,"endTime":357.815,"body":"Like, I think we're already"},{"startTime":355.563,"endTime":357.815,"body":"on the other side of our friendship."},{"startTime":357.815,"endTime":360.818,"body":"We're already like,"},{"startTime":357.815,"endTime":360.818,"body":"kind of breaking up. We"},{"startTime":361.611,"endTime":363.237,"body":"like leaving the door open."},{"startTime":363.237,"endTime":364.03,"body":"I'm like."},{"startTime":364.03,"endTime":366.574,"body":"That is so, like, when does that happen?"},{"startTime":366.574,"endTime":366.908,"body":"Right?"},{"startTime":366.908,"endTime":368.826,"body":"Like, when at the point"},{"startTime":366.908,"endTime":368.826,"body":"are you so comfortable"},{"startTime":368.826,"endTime":370.703,"body":"with someone that you're going to walk in"},{"startTime":368.826,"endTime":370.703,"body":"while they're in the bathroom?"},{"startTime":370.703,"endTime":372.747,"body":"I think that's insanity, Right."},{"startTime":372.747,"endTime":376.542,"body":"And I mean, we've we did every mean"},{"startTime":372.747,"endTime":376.542,"body":"we said the worst things to each other,"},{"startTime":376.542,"endTime":378.211,"body":"like but we never did that."},{"startTime":378.211,"endTime":380.546,"body":"Oh like I think we like, held we Yeah."},{"startTime":380.546,"endTime":381.631,"body":"If to hold out for some."},{"startTime":381.631,"endTime":384.342,"body":"Hurt my feelings but leave me like don't"},{"startTime":381.631,"endTime":384.342,"body":"walk in while I'm taking."},{"startTime":384.342,"endTime":385.718,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":384.342,"endTime":385.718,"body":"I feel like because you know. What I mean."},{"startTime":385.718,"endTime":386.427,"body":"I don't even want to tell you."},{"startTime":386.427,"endTime":387.72,"body":"I do want to take a shower with him."},{"startTime":387.72,"endTime":389.764,"body":"I'm like,"},{"startTime":387.72,"endTime":389.764,"body":"he looks like a Frazier drove an Uber."},{"startTime":389.764,"endTime":392.475,"body":"I don't think I'm lifting the shower."},{"startTime":392.475,"endTime":394.644,"body":"Wait,"},{"startTime":392.475,"endTime":394.644,"body":"did you ever work with Kelsey Grammer?"},{"startTime":394.644,"endTime":395.978,"body":"No, you didn't."},{"startTime":395.978,"endTime":397.939,"body":"You were never like a for a Frasier part."},{"startTime":397.939,"endTime":402.735,"body":"No, I was one of the temps on Murphy"},{"startTime":397.939,"endTime":402.735,"body":"Brown."},{"startTime":402.944,"endTime":404.362,"body":"Shut up."},{"startTime":404.362,"endTime":405.279,"body":"We have."},{"startTime":405.279,"endTime":407.74,"body":"We talked about that."},{"startTime":405.279,"endTime":407.74,"body":"You were one of the episodes."},{"startTime":407.74,"endTime":409.158,"body":"You were one of the secretaries"},{"startTime":409.158,"endTime":411.494,"body":"because they usually they were there"},{"startTime":409.158,"endTime":411.494,"body":"at the beginning of the show."},{"startTime":411.494,"endTime":412.328,"body":"Yeah, I think yeah."},{"startTime":412.328,"endTime":416.374,"body":"Like, I feel like I might hold a record"},{"startTime":412.328,"endTime":416.374,"body":"for being in the most things for the show."},{"startTime":416.374,"endTime":418.251,"body":"This amount of time. That's it."},{"startTime":418.251,"endTime":418.96,"body":"That's me."},{"startTime":418.96,"endTime":422.255,"body":"So I call it a cameo,"},{"startTime":418.96,"endTime":422.255,"body":"but really it's because I suck."},{"startTime":422.338,"endTime":424.757,"body":"Yeah, You're like,"},{"startTime":422.338,"endTime":424.757,"body":"What's her name? Pat Carroll."},{"startTime":424.757,"endTime":425.383,"body":"Is that her name?"},{"startTime":425.383,"endTime":426.634,"body":"She's Diahann Carroll."},{"startTime":426.634,"endTime":429.345,"body":"Diahann Carroll. Yeah. Oh, my God."},{"startTime":426.634,"endTime":429.345,"body":"I want to look that up."},{"startTime":429.345,"endTime":430.304,"body":"What was that like?"},{"startTime":430.304,"endTime":433.057,"body":"It was fun."},{"startTime":430.304,"endTime":433.057,"body":"And I think his name is Charles."},{"startTime":433.057,"endTime":437.395,"body":"The guy who passed away recently"},{"startTime":433.057,"endTime":437.395,"body":"was the nicest Marine."},{"startTime":437.395,"endTime":439.814,"body":"The guy who played Murray. Yes."},{"startTime":437.395,"endTime":439.814,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":439.814,"endTime":440.773,"body":"I love the name Murray."},{"startTime":440.773,"endTime":441.566,"body":"Yeah, the cat's name."},{"startTime":441.566,"endTime":442.65,"body":"Or is that or am I?"},{"startTime":442.65,"endTime":445.278,"body":"I that with Mary Tyler Moore."},{"startTime":445.278,"endTime":446.529,"body":"Oh, interesting."},{"startTime":446.529,"endTime":447.738,"body":"What was that guy's name? I wouldn't."},{"startTime":447.738,"endTime":449.323,"body":"That's why we in the room."},{"startTime":449.323,"endTime":451.242,"body":"We need a little photo."},{"startTime":451.242,"endTime":453.87,"body":"I love Murphy Brown and Designing"},{"startTime":451.242,"endTime":453.87,"body":"Women were like the two shows"},{"startTime":453.87,"endTime":455.705,"body":"I watched with my mom exclusively."},{"startTime":455.705,"endTime":457.79,"body":"Yeah. And, like,"},{"startTime":455.705,"endTime":457.79,"body":"still had to come out to her."},{"startTime":457.79,"endTime":460.793,"body":"Like, are you kidding? Are you kidding?"},{"startTime":460.835,"endTime":461.377,"body":"I think that was like."},{"startTime":461.377,"endTime":462.17,"body":"It was like Murphy Brown"},{"startTime":462.17,"endTime":466.549,"body":"and then Northern Exposure was really like"},{"startTime":462.17,"endTime":466.549,"body":"such an adult watching that."},{"startTime":466.674,"endTime":467.3,"body":"That's adult."},{"startTime":467.3,"endTime":470.803,"body":"I just remember loving the,"},{"startTime":467.3,"endTime":470.803,"body":"like, pre AIDS Love boat, like slut."},{"startTime":471.512,"endTime":474.807,"body":"I totally I had to go to bed"},{"startTime":474.807,"endTime":478.144,"body":"halfway through and I'm like,"},{"startTime":474.807,"endTime":478.144,"body":"that's the best shit happens Like."},{"startTime":478.144,"endTime":479.145,"body":"Does the ship dock?"},{"startTime":479.145,"endTime":482.106,"body":"I know she's like,"},{"startTime":479.145,"endTime":482.106,"body":"is Gopher going to like, Yeah."},{"startTime":482.231,"endTime":483.691,"body":"They're just listing on"},{"startTime":484.901,"endTime":485.735,"body":"fire."},{"startTime":485.735,"endTime":487.445,"body":"Yeah, but you had good taste."},{"startTime":487.445,"endTime":487.987,"body":"I was just."},{"startTime":487.987,"endTime":490.531,"body":"Like, well, I was like the one."},{"startTime":487.987,"endTime":490.531,"body":"It was kind of that was the thing."},{"startTime":490.531,"endTime":492.7,"body":"If I watch from the next page,"},{"startTime":490.531,"endTime":492.7,"body":"I could stay up later."},{"startTime":492.7,"endTime":494.702,"body":"And Janine Turner was at that, but."},{"startTime":494.702,"endTime":498.998,"body":"She. Was from, she was from"},{"startTime":494.702,"endTime":498.998,"body":"the shitty suburb that I'm from."},{"startTime":498.998,"endTime":500.333,"body":"Oh, what was that?"},{"startTime":500.333,"endTime":501.667,"body":"Fucking Bedford, Texas?"},{"startTime":501.667,"endTime":502.084,"body":"Am I?"},{"startTime":502.084,"endTime":504.712,"body":"Okay, so my friend's parents got divorced,"},{"startTime":502.084,"endTime":504.712,"body":"and then the mom had to move to"},{"startTime":504.712,"endTime":507.673,"body":"an apartment complex,"},{"startTime":504.712,"endTime":507.673,"body":"which was just underneath Janine Turner."},{"startTime":507.673,"endTime":511.302,"body":"So basically they had gone from,"},{"startTime":507.673,"endTime":511.302,"body":"like a happy family to like Hollywood."},{"startTime":511.302,"endTime":512.678,"body":"Right? Right."},{"startTime":512.678,"endTime":517.058,"body":"And then my fucking gay"},{"startTime":512.678,"endTime":517.058,"body":"fifth grade teacher who swore up and down,"},{"startTime":517.058,"endTime":519.435,"body":"you know what I mean? He played it."},{"startTime":517.058,"endTime":519.435,"body":"He played it straight the whole time."},{"startTime":519.435,"endTime":521.687,"body":"He he was like one of those fags"},{"startTime":519.435,"endTime":521.687,"body":"that would be like"},{"startTime":521.687,"endTime":524.023,"body":"I went to school with Janine Turner."},{"startTime":524.023,"endTime":525.024,"body":"It's like, I don't know."},{"startTime":525.024,"endTime":526.275,"body":"I didn't really have those street cred."},{"startTime":526.275,"endTime":528.319,"body":"He thought I would"},{"startTime":526.275,"endTime":528.319,"body":"with ten year olds. Right."},{"startTime":528.319,"endTime":531.906,"body":"And when I think of all the men that"},{"startTime":528.319,"endTime":531.906,"body":"I thought might like women"},{"startTime":533.574,"endTime":536.035,"body":"were going to have crushes on crazy,"},{"startTime":533.574,"endTime":536.035,"body":"right?"},{"startTime":536.035,"endTime":539.038,"body":"Like Elton John might come around to me"},{"startTime":536.035,"endTime":539.038,"body":"at some point."},{"startTime":539.33,"endTime":542.333,"body":"And Freddie Mercury, you know, Liberace."},{"startTime":543.084,"endTime":543.793,"body":"I wasn't that bad."},{"startTime":543.793,"endTime":546.254,"body":"I need to"},{"startTime":546.254,"endTime":548.256,"body":"that is one thing I have to say."},{"startTime":548.256,"endTime":550.508,"body":"Feeling I knew that I knew"},{"startTime":548.256,"endTime":550.508,"body":"something was up with him."},{"startTime":550.508,"endTime":554.679,"body":"I even remember an interview"},{"startTime":550.508,"endTime":554.679,"body":"where an interviewer asked him,"},{"startTime":554.929,"endTime":557.932,"body":"So what type of woman are you looking for?"},{"startTime":558.099,"endTime":561.102,"body":"And he said, Well, someone nice?"},{"startTime":561.185,"endTime":562.979,"body":"Yeah, with a penis."},{"startTime":562.979,"endTime":564.438,"body":"Yeah. Yeah, exactly."},{"startTime":564.438,"endTime":565.815,"body":"And like a little package."},{"startTime":565.815,"endTime":566.107,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":566.107,"endTime":569.527,"body":"So you're going off for three weeks"},{"startTime":566.107,"endTime":569.527,"body":"to Edinburgh, right?"},{"startTime":569.527,"endTime":570.611,"body":"I'm not doing the full run."},{"startTime":570.611,"endTime":571.737,"body":"Okay? I was scared to death."},{"startTime":571.737,"endTime":573.698,"body":"So when I was, like, pulling up"},{"startTime":571.737,"endTime":573.698,"body":"a little questionnaire, I'm like,"},{"startTime":573.698,"endTime":576.075,"body":"So just so we're clear, like,"},{"startTime":573.698,"endTime":576.075,"body":"I do observe the Sabbath."},{"startTime":576.075,"endTime":578.119,"body":"So I have. A loophole."},{"startTime":578.119,"endTime":580.621,"body":"We love as if I'm Orthodox, you know,"},{"startTime":578.119,"endTime":580.621,"body":"that's great."},{"startTime":580.621,"endTime":582.915,"body":"But I'm doing ten nights,"},{"startTime":580.621,"endTime":582.915,"body":"which I don't know."},{"startTime":582.915,"endTime":585.126,"body":"Have you guys done that?"},{"startTime":585.126,"endTime":586.877,"body":"I've never done anything"},{"startTime":585.126,"endTime":586.877,"body":"ten nights in a row."},{"startTime":586.877,"endTime":588.879,"body":"And I'm kind of terrified."},{"startTime":588.879,"endTime":592.675,"body":"No, not terrified, but just like,"},{"startTime":588.879,"endTime":592.675,"body":"got to get it to gather."},{"startTime":593.009,"endTime":594.427,"body":"Like, that's something credible."},{"startTime":594.427,"endTime":596.637,"body":"It's a headspace. Yeah, it's a headspace."},{"startTime":596.637,"endTime":598.306,"body":"I think I tried to get into Edinburgh."},{"startTime":598.306,"endTime":600.558,"body":"Is it Edinburgh or Edinburgh?"},{"startTime":598.306,"endTime":600.558,"body":"I don't. Know."},{"startTime":600.558,"endTime":601.642,"body":"I heard."},{"startTime":601.642,"endTime":604.478,"body":"So my acupuncturist just corrected me"},{"startTime":601.642,"endTime":604.478,"body":"because we're an out."},{"startTime":604.478,"endTime":606.022,"body":"She's like Edinburgh."},{"startTime":606.022,"endTime":608.024,"body":"Oh is it really. Cool, you twat liquor."},{"startTime":608.024,"endTime":609.525,"body":"I'm like you just putting it on."},{"startTime":609.525,"endTime":612.236,"body":"Yeah but Edinburgh real okay."},{"startTime":612.236,"endTime":613.279,"body":"I think I'm surprised."},{"startTime":613.279,"endTime":615.281,"body":"I feel like you've headline there now."},{"startTime":615.281,"endTime":619.201,"body":"I think if I tried to get in and I think"},{"startTime":615.281,"endTime":619.201,"body":"I think maybe my agent sent a tape"},{"startTime":619.201,"endTime":622.58,"body":"and I got rejected and then I kind of"},{"startTime":619.201,"endTime":622.58,"body":"didn't try again after that."},{"startTime":622.58,"endTime":623.706,"body":"I just thought, okay."},{"startTime":623.706,"endTime":625.416,"body":"In situations like that"},{"startTime":623.706,"endTime":625.416,"body":"where you don't know how to say"},{"startTime":625.416,"endTime":627.126,"body":"the name,"},{"startTime":625.416,"endTime":627.126,"body":"you just have to say it like Oprah."},{"startTime":627.126,"endTime":628.836,"body":"It's like introducing a guest."},{"startTime":628.836,"endTime":631.088,"body":"You say, Oh, like I."},{"startTime":631.088,"endTime":634.425,"body":"Yeah, I do want I don't know if I know"},{"startTime":631.088,"endTime":634.425,"body":"someone's name on a show or anywhere."},{"startTime":634.425,"endTime":637.386,"body":"I'm just like,"},{"startTime":634.425,"endTime":637.386,"body":"I'll be like, Buddy or no. Yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":637.386,"endTime":639.764,"body":"People can see through me"},{"startTime":637.386,"endTime":639.764,"body":"when I do. Like, it's bad."},{"startTime":639.764,"endTime":640.431,"body":"It's kind of old."},{"startTime":640.431,"endTime":641.932,"body":"I feel like a schmo because"},{"startTime":641.932,"endTime":645.853,"body":"I repeat people's names a lot, but I do it"},{"startTime":641.932,"endTime":645.853,"body":"so I can remember, like even in the."},{"startTime":645.853,"endTime":647.73,"body":"Moment"},{"startTime":645.853,"endTime":647.73,"body":"I always think is an act of aggression"},{"startTime":647.73,"endTime":650.191,"body":"when someone says their name to you"},{"startTime":647.73,"endTime":650.191,"body":"in a conversation"},{"startTime":650.191,"endTime":651.984,"body":"like, you know, well, you know Laura."},{"startTime":651.984,"endTime":655.154,"body":"Unless like Laura saying it, well,"},{"startTime":651.984,"endTime":655.154,"body":"I get like a freeze."},{"startTime":655.154,"endTime":658.032,"body":"So I get like a shiver of displeasure"},{"startTime":655.154,"endTime":658.032,"body":"when you say, Well, Laura."},{"startTime":658.032,"endTime":660.284,"body":"Has nicknames. That I call. Over."},{"startTime":660.284,"endTime":662.203,"body":"Everybody has a baby name."},{"startTime":660.284,"endTime":662.203,"body":"But it's like, well, you know."},{"startTime":662.203,"endTime":664.455,"body":"Fieldy It sounds like you're"},{"startTime":662.203,"endTime":664.455,"body":"being sidelined, right?"},{"startTime":664.455,"endTime":667.458,"body":"Like a teacher called you out of everybody"},{"startTime":664.455,"endTime":667.458,"body":"to be like, feeling."},{"startTime":667.875,"endTime":670.544,"body":"It because it's a gerund"},{"startTime":667.875,"endTime":670.544,"body":"and people have to really like say,"},{"startTime":670.544,"endTime":673.547,"body":"I mean,"},{"startTime":670.544,"endTime":673.547,"body":"I kind of feel bad for my next boyfriend"},{"startTime":673.547,"endTime":675.966,"body":"so he wants to say fielding in bed,"},{"startTime":673.547,"endTime":675.966,"body":"you know."},{"startTime":675.966,"endTime":678.969,"body":"Well,"},{"startTime":675.966,"endTime":678.969,"body":"do you have nicknames. Fifi fears or."},{"startTime":679.22,"endTime":680.346,"body":"Oh I like I feel"},{"startTime":681.347,"endTime":682.515,"body":"my friend love. You."},{"startTime":682.515,"endTime":682.932,"body":"So we."},{"startTime":682.932,"endTime":683.349,"body":"Were okay."},{"startTime":683.349,"endTime":686.143,"body":"Your name is already a romcom title."},{"startTime":686.143,"endTime":689.647,"body":"I hate titles"},{"startTime":686.143,"endTime":689.647,"body":"that are like Darren's like finding this."},{"startTime":690.69,"endTime":692.858,"body":"So we were reading a story"},{"startTime":690.69,"endTime":692.858,"body":"about these people"},{"startTime":692.858,"endTime":696.07,"body":"who are robbing men in Vegas"},{"startTime":692.858,"endTime":696.07,"body":"or these women, and it's a non story,"},{"startTime":696.07,"endTime":698.698,"body":"but they let them buy them drinks"},{"startTime":696.07,"endTime":698.698,"body":"or whatever they, they drug them in"},{"startTime":698.698,"endTime":700.866,"body":"and they get them so wasted"},{"startTime":698.698,"endTime":700.866,"body":"that they go back to the hotel room"},{"startTime":700.866,"endTime":704.328,"body":"and then they like they either pass out"},{"startTime":700.866,"endTime":704.328,"body":"or they poison or whatever"},{"startTime":704.453,"endTime":705.996,"body":"and then they rob them right there."},{"startTime":705.996,"endTime":707.206,"body":"Security cameras all over Vegas."},{"startTime":707.206,"endTime":709.125,"body":"So what they were doing"},{"startTime":707.206,"endTime":709.125,"body":"was taking like the Rolex"},{"startTime":709.125,"endTime":712.044,"body":"and inserting it into their vaginas,"},{"startTime":709.125,"endTime":712.044,"body":"right? Yes. Oh, my God."},{"startTime":712.044,"endTime":713.045,"body":"And that's how they busted."},{"startTime":713.045,"endTime":715.381,"body":"The one was that they literally found"},{"startTime":713.045,"endTime":715.381,"body":"a Rolex inside of her."},{"startTime":715.381,"endTime":717.425,"body":"And so this is the article"},{"startTime":715.381,"endTime":717.425,"body":"we're reading in the newspaper."},{"startTime":717.425,"endTime":720.344,"body":"And the lady's name was Rachel CONARD."},{"startTime":720.344,"endTime":721.887,"body":"Wow. I was like,"},{"startTime":720.344,"endTime":721.887,"body":"You've got to be fucking kidding me."},{"startTime":721.887,"endTime":725.015,"body":"Canada is her is the criminals last name."},{"startTime":725.015,"endTime":726.559,"body":"Like, I. Don't know what I mean."},{"startTime":726.559,"endTime":728.602,"body":"Duncan French No, no."},{"startTime":728.602,"endTime":730.438,"body":"Canard means it's like a Romanian."},{"startTime":730.438,"endTime":732.815,"body":"It's like,"},{"startTime":730.438,"endTime":732.815,"body":"yeah, Canada is like, dude, it's a."},{"startTime":732.815,"endTime":733.899,"body":"Scam, Correct?"},{"startTime":733.899,"endTime":736.569,"body":"It it literally means, like, a subterfuge."},{"startTime":736.569,"endTime":739.321,"body":"Yeah, like, like,"},{"startTime":736.569,"endTime":739.321,"body":"like you're scamming someone with a."},{"startTime":739.321,"endTime":741.198,"body":"Now, I don't know what Rolodex means."},{"startTime":741.198,"endTime":743.325,"body":"No. Right. It's like, Oh, a Rolex."},{"startTime":743.325,"endTime":744.034,"body":"Jesus Christ."},{"startTime":744.034,"endTime":746.912,"body":"I thought you said"},{"startTime":744.034,"endTime":746.912,"body":"you put a Rolodex in your vagina."},{"startTime":746.912,"endTime":748.414,"body":"That would be a big connection point."},{"startTime":748.414,"endTime":750.249,"body":"This isn't from the 1980s."},{"startTime":750.249,"endTime":752.334,"body":"Yeah, well, I don't know. She."},{"startTime":752.334,"endTime":754.42,"body":"She robbed a secretary."},{"startTime":754.42,"endTime":756.672,"body":"I mean, if she could do that,"},{"startTime":754.42,"endTime":756.672,"body":"why does she has a scam and."},{"startTime":756.672,"endTime":758.007,"body":"Like, go to Ringland."},{"startTime":758.007,"endTime":760.217,"body":"There's apparently I like to entertain"},{"startTime":758.007,"endTime":760.217,"body":"people with."},{"startTime":760.217,"endTime":761.177,"body":"Yeah, exactly."},{"startTime":761.177,"endTime":764.138,"body":"But then my friend"},{"startTime":761.177,"endTime":764.138,"body":"Chrissie and I were thinking of like."},{"startTime":764.138,"endTime":764.764,"body":"I found your name."},{"startTime":764.764,"endTime":767.475,"body":"Obvious criminal names like Rachel Kinard."},{"startTime":767.475,"endTime":768.142,"body":"I was like, What?"},{"startTime":768.142,"endTime":770.102,"body":"Cop didn't see that coming, right?"},{"startTime":770.102,"endTime":772.813,"body":"I was Gary Grifter. No, no."},{"startTime":772.813,"endTime":777.943,"body":"And then she decided that her name"},{"startTime":772.813,"endTime":777.943,"body":"was she goes, I'm 53 feet. Yes."},{"startTime":778.235,"endTime":778.944,"body":"All right. I'm going to."},{"startTime":778.944,"endTime":779.445,"body":"I might take you."},{"startTime":779.445,"endTime":782.114,"body":"Did think of your criminal name,"},{"startTime":779.445,"endTime":782.114,"body":"but it has to be obvious."},{"startTime":782.114,"endTime":783.699,"body":"But Gary Grifter is my favorite."},{"startTime":783.699,"endTime":785.075,"body":"I'm Gary Grifter."},{"startTime":785.075,"endTime":786.41,"body":"I'm law lifter."},{"startTime":786.41,"endTime":788.954,"body":"I left anything in this room."},{"startTime":788.954,"endTime":791.415,"body":"Oh, my God. Can we rob together again?"},{"startTime":791.415,"endTime":792.625,"body":"Another soft pitch."},{"startTime":792.625,"endTime":795.127,"body":"This is a digital series to take over."},{"startTime":795.127,"endTime":796.754,"body":"Like a bar fight. But yes."},{"startTime":796.754,"endTime":799.632,"body":"Yeah, yeah, you can."},{"startTime":796.754,"endTime":799.632,"body":"Absolutely. The left in the grift."},{"startTime":805.012,"endTime":807.014,"body":"Rare is it that people choose stand up."},{"startTime":807.014,"endTime":810.643,"body":"They kind of accidentally fall into it"},{"startTime":807.014,"endTime":810.643,"body":"or it becomes funny later?"},{"startTime":810.643,"endTime":811.185,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":811.185,"endTime":814.98,"body":"I was interning at the Roundabout Theater"},{"startTime":811.185,"endTime":814.98,"body":"and I was just making a joke. How?"},{"startTime":815.022,"endTime":818.025,"body":"Like I blew the guy at New World"},{"startTime":815.022,"endTime":818.025,"body":"getting coffee,"},{"startTime":818.025,"endTime":819.652,"body":"and she's like, You should do stand up."},{"startTime":819.652,"endTime":820.569,"body":"Like the tone."},{"startTime":820.569,"endTime":824.406,"body":"And I was like, Oh, well, when a Broadway"},{"startTime":820.569,"endTime":824.406,"body":"casting is like, Look into it."},{"startTime":824.615,"endTime":827.535,"body":"But I did it and I was not ready"},{"startTime":824.615,"endTime":827.535,"body":"and I was in my twenties."},{"startTime":827.535,"endTime":829.328,"body":"So then I came back to it"},{"startTime":829.328,"endTime":833.082,"body":"at Williamstown and like Lewis Black,"},{"startTime":829.328,"endTime":833.082,"body":"I took a course with him."},{"startTime":833.624,"endTime":835.042,"body":"I had what was the scariest"},{"startTime":835.042,"endTime":839.421,"body":"that was doing my set to him with him"},{"startTime":835.042,"endTime":839.421,"body":"just looking at me like, Oh. Like"},{"startTime":840.422,"endTime":843.217,"body":"I did standup with Lewis"},{"startTime":843.217,"endTime":846.679,"body":"in Alaska and it was so hilarious."},{"startTime":846.679,"endTime":847.304,"body":"And he won't"},{"startTime":847.304,"endTime":848.514,"body":"I don't think he would mind."},{"startTime":848.514,"endTime":850.933,"body":"I think he's probably sober now,"},{"startTime":848.514,"endTime":850.933,"body":"so I think it's okay"},{"startTime":850.933,"endTime":852.434,"body":"to tell one of these stories."},{"startTime":852.434,"endTime":853.936,"body":"We were in Alaska"},{"startTime":853.936,"endTime":858.232,"body":"and he was headlining and I was featuring"},{"startTime":853.936,"endTime":858.232,"body":"I was middling, I guess they call it."},{"startTime":858.482,"endTime":862.903,"body":"And first of all, when we flew in,"},{"startTime":858.482,"endTime":862.903,"body":"we saw two people walk"},{"startTime":862.903,"endTime":866.198,"body":"right into a building in the afternoon"},{"startTime":862.903,"endTime":866.198,"body":"and then fall over"},{"startTime":867.533,"endTime":868.325,"body":"Anchorage. Where are you?"},{"startTime":868.325,"endTime":868.826,"body":"In Anchorage?"},{"startTime":868.826,"endTime":871.829,"body":"Yeah, places. Nuts? Yes. Keep on."},{"startTime":872.037,"endTime":872.496,"body":"Walking."},{"startTime":872.496,"endTime":874.957,"body":"So it was like, Yeah, gymnastics class"},{"startTime":872.496,"endTime":874.957,"body":"we took."},{"startTime":874.957,"endTime":876.458,"body":"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":876.458,"endTime":879.086,"body":"So she's building, by the way."},{"startTime":879.086,"endTime":880.504,"body":"God damn, this isn't fair."},{"startTime":880.504,"endTime":883.173,"body":"She is a true athlete."},{"startTime":883.173,"endTime":884.133,"body":"She's an acrobat."},{"startTime":884.133,"endTime":887.97,"body":"We took a gymnastics class together, and"},{"startTime":884.133,"endTime":887.97,"body":"all they did was lean me against the wall."},{"startTime":888.053,"endTime":890.723,"body":"But I could not fucking do"},{"startTime":888.053,"endTime":890.723,"body":"anything, Laura."},{"startTime":890.723,"endTime":892.808,"body":"And she's like, Just do your kip again."},{"startTime":892.808,"endTime":893.601,"body":"Go do your kip."},{"startTime":893.601,"endTime":895.811,"body":"And I'm like,"},{"startTime":893.601,"endTime":895.811,"body":"Laura, we're in this together."},{"startTime":895.811,"endTime":898.522,"body":"Win was going to do. Backflips"},{"startTime":895.811,"endTime":898.522,"body":"in front of Laura."},{"startTime":898.522,"endTime":901.901,"body":"I did backwards"},{"startTime":898.522,"endTime":901.901,"body":"roll and sounds complicated."},{"startTime":901.901,"endTime":905.112,"body":"I look over, I look over,"},{"startTime":901.901,"endTime":905.112,"body":"and Fielding is walking on her hand."},{"startTime":905.362,"endTime":906.447,"body":"I mean, fine."},{"startTime":906.447,"endTime":908.991,"body":"Yeah, I. Can still do that."},{"startTime":906.447,"endTime":908.991,"body":"But I'm not like Mary Lou."},{"startTime":908.991,"endTime":911.744,"body":"Mary Frances"},{"startTime":908.991,"endTime":911.744,"body":"calling from the fucking ceiling."},{"startTime":911.744,"endTime":914.663,"body":"I can still fall over."},{"startTime":911.744,"endTime":914.663,"body":"I just keep falling too."},{"startTime":914.663,"endTime":916.29,"body":"And then this woman, like, stacks"},{"startTime":916.29,"endTime":920.044,"body":"some mat and leans me against the mats"},{"startTime":916.29,"endTime":920.044,"body":"because I can't fucking do anything."},{"startTime":920.044,"endTime":921.503,"body":"So here's the difference"},{"startTime":920.044,"endTime":921.503,"body":"in what you just said."},{"startTime":921.503,"endTime":923.881,"body":"The feelings"},{"startTime":921.503,"endTime":923.881,"body":"that I can still do some shit."},{"startTime":923.881,"endTime":924.34,"body":"That's true."},{"startTime":924.34,"endTime":926.342,"body":"That at some point she did do some shit."},{"startTime":926.342,"endTime":927.885,"body":"Like that's all I had in my."},{"startTime":927.885,"endTime":929.595,"body":"But I'm starting a sea level, right?"},{"startTime":929.595,"endTime":931.096,"body":"I'm ground level. I'm ground zero."},{"startTime":931.096,"endTime":933.098,"body":"I don't have any"},{"startTime":931.096,"endTime":933.098,"body":"like I'm starting in my ward."},{"startTime":933.098,"endTime":937.519,"body":"But then this was the very place"},{"startTime":933.098,"endTime":937.519,"body":"that I was talking about."},{"startTime":937.77,"endTime":939.605,"body":"It's like a gym"},{"startTime":937.77,"endTime":939.605,"body":"where we could climb a rope"},{"startTime":939.605,"endTime":941.857,"body":"and that and feel me and I went there."},{"startTime":941.857,"endTime":943.609,"body":"It's called the Gymnastics Club, right?"},{"startTime":943.609,"endTime":947.696,"body":"It's where my kid did club"},{"startTime":943.609,"endTime":947.696,"body":"with the gay club with the gay."},{"startTime":947.696,"endTime":948.28,"body":"And by the way,"},{"startTime":948.28,"endTime":952.159,"body":"there was someone got there early, set up"},{"startTime":948.28,"endTime":952.159,"body":"a video camera doing a round up."},{"startTime":952.159,"endTime":952.993,"body":"I can see my daughter."},{"startTime":952.993,"endTime":955.537,"body":"And I was like,"},{"startTime":952.993,"endTime":955.537,"body":"You fucking show pony comment down."},{"startTime":955.537,"endTime":960.417,"body":"Yeah, I is this the rock climbing, indoor"},{"startTime":955.537,"endTime":960.417,"body":"rock climbing thing like Hollywood?"},{"startTime":960.417,"endTime":961.627,"body":"This is in Atwater."},{"startTime":961.627,"endTime":963.337,"body":"Okay. No. Where it's like for kids?"},{"startTime":963.337,"endTime":967.132,"body":"No, like on Sundays, they're like,"},{"startTime":963.337,"endTime":967.132,"body":"come on down and try not to get you know."},{"startTime":967.132,"endTime":968.384,"body":"My boys are."},{"startTime":968.384,"endTime":969.551,"body":"Really well-trained."},{"startTime":969.551,"endTime":971.762,"body":"I would say I."},{"startTime":969.551,"endTime":971.762,"body":"Thought you were very elegant."},{"startTime":971.762,"endTime":973.263,"body":"Oh, and some dance moves."},{"startTime":973.263,"endTime":977.017,"body":"You you do things like you're"},{"startTime":973.263,"endTime":977.017,"body":"a swan to dance."},{"startTime":977.017,"endTime":977.518,"body":"You're very."},{"startTime":977.518,"endTime":978.394,"body":"You know, I."},{"startTime":978.394,"endTime":980.104,"body":"You know, I did, you know. Okay."},{"startTime":980.104,"endTime":983.399,"body":"I took tab classes"},{"startTime":980.104,"endTime":983.399,"body":"with a group of elderly women"},{"startTime":983.649,"endTime":988.32,"body":"who were like, I guess 70 and up,"},{"startTime":983.649,"endTime":988.32,"body":"and they toured and they were amazing."},{"startTime":988.32,"endTime":990.364,"body":"And she goes, Well,"},{"startTime":988.32,"endTime":990.364,"body":"you can start out in this class."},{"startTime":990.364,"endTime":993.492,"body":"And anyway, and I thought,"},{"startTime":990.364,"endTime":993.492,"body":"Oh, this is so, you know, inspirational."},{"startTime":993.867,"endTime":997.955,"body":"Anyway, all of the women,"},{"startTime":993.867,"endTime":997.955,"body":"I was so slow after three classes,"},{"startTime":997.955,"endTime":1002.126,"body":"they all like, conspired against me"},{"startTime":997.955,"endTime":1002.126,"body":"and got me kicked out of my class."},{"startTime":1002.626,"endTime":1004.128,"body":"These all being."},{"startTime":1004.128,"endTime":1005.087,"body":"I know. They're they."},{"startTime":1005.087,"endTime":1007.172,"body":"Oh well, they were like,"},{"startTime":1005.087,"endTime":1007.172,"body":"look how long do we have on earth"},{"startTime":1007.172,"endTime":1010.05,"body":"to wait for this like, slow"},{"startTime":1007.172,"endTime":1010.05,"body":"jack ass to get any."},{"startTime":1010.05,"endTime":1013.303,"body":"Bad? You see, the improv"},{"startTime":1010.05,"endTime":1013.303,"body":"practice group was like."},{"startTime":1013.804,"endTime":1016.015,"body":"Okay, fuck them. Left you in the. Yes."},{"startTime":1016.015,"endTime":1016.807,"body":"Yeah, that's not that."},{"startTime":1016.807,"endTime":1019.935,"body":"That was so funny because I started to"},{"startTime":1016.807,"endTime":1019.935,"body":"bring cookies and stuff and like, Oh, and,"},{"startTime":1020.394,"endTime":1023.814,"body":"and they were just I didn't even realize"},{"startTime":1020.394,"endTime":1023.814,"body":"I was being, you know, frozen out. And"},{"startTime":1024.898,"endTime":1027.317,"body":"they were like, Oh, okay."},{"startTime":1027.317,"endTime":1029.611,"body":"What were you all tap dancing to?"},{"startTime":1027.317,"endTime":1029.611,"body":"Good question."},{"startTime":1029.611,"endTime":1030.07,"body":"They were what?"},{"startTime":1030.07,"endTime":1032.156,"body":"The first of all, they were okay."},{"startTime":1032.156,"endTime":1033.991,"body":"They were fast."},{"startTime":1033.991,"endTime":1037.745,"body":"And, you know, there was I don't know"},{"startTime":1033.991,"endTime":1037.745,"body":"if they had a piano player there."},{"startTime":1037.786,"endTime":1040.33,"body":"I don't even know what what the music was."},{"startTime":1037.786,"endTime":1040.33,"body":"I can't."},{"startTime":1040.33,"endTime":1040.622,"body":"Remember."},{"startTime":1040.622,"endTime":1043.584,"body":"Oh yeah. That's"},{"startTime":1040.622,"endTime":1043.584,"body":"why I. Know that's so shallow."},{"startTime":1043.584,"endTime":1043.917,"body":"Yeah, it."},{"startTime":1043.917,"endTime":1046.795,"body":"Really worked with their little jokes."},{"startTime":1046.795,"endTime":1048.505,"body":"Yeah. And pick it up, you."},{"startTime":1048.505,"endTime":1049.339,"body":"Know."},{"startTime":1049.339,"endTime":1052.259,"body":"And I'm still like, you know, shuffle ball"},{"startTime":1049.339,"endTime":1052.259,"body":"changing or whatever."},{"startTime":1052.259,"endTime":1054.47,"body":"Shuffle ball change. Yeah."},{"startTime":1052.259,"endTime":1054.47,"body":"And the boyfriend took us."},{"startTime":1054.47,"endTime":1056.221,"body":"We were supposed to have, like, sunset"},{"startTime":1054.47,"endTime":1056.221,"body":"and like,"},{"startTime":1056.221,"endTime":1058.891,"body":"Coffee of Hollywood Forever Cemetery,"},{"startTime":1056.221,"endTime":1058.891,"body":"which sounded lovely."},{"startTime":1058.891,"endTime":1059.516,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":1059.516,"endTime":1060.851,"body":"And but they were closed."},{"startTime":1060.851,"endTime":1061.435,"body":"I think they were filming."},{"startTime":1061.435,"endTime":1064.063,"body":"Some of the gates were closed,"},{"startTime":1061.435,"endTime":1064.063,"body":"so, like, right across the street."},{"startTime":1064.063,"endTime":1065.439,"body":"Is this fucking indoor rock."},{"startTime":1065.439,"endTime":1066.69,"body":"And he's like, What about that?"},{"startTime":1066.69,"endTime":1070.152,"body":"And this is a few months ago, so still"},{"startTime":1066.69,"endTime":1070.152,"body":"trying to be like, adventurous, right?"},{"startTime":1070.569,"endTime":1071.528,"body":"There's like, sure."},{"startTime":1072.78,"endTime":1074.364,"body":"And first of all, it's packed, right?"},{"startTime":1074.364,"endTime":1077.284,"body":"There's all these sweaty, gross"},{"startTime":1074.364,"endTime":1077.284,"body":"people. Oh, no."},{"startTime":1077.284,"endTime":1079.286,"body":"First of all, it's something they love."},{"startTime":1079.286,"endTime":1081.205,"body":"Oh, yeah, I can't even imagine it."},{"startTime":1081.205,"endTime":1085.751,"body":"It's very vibe"},{"startTime":1081.205,"endTime":1085.751,"body":"they make you go through a demo"},{"startTime":1085.751,"endTime":1087.211,"body":"with, like,"},{"startTime":1085.751,"endTime":1087.211,"body":"a person who works there, right?"},{"startTime":1087.211,"endTime":1089.213,"body":"You go through a quick training course"},{"startTime":1089.213,"endTime":1092.758,"body":"and literally I'm like, on the wall"},{"startTime":1089.213,"endTime":1092.758,"body":"and she's like, the left foot."},{"startTime":1092.758,"endTime":1094.551,"body":"I'm of the right foot."},{"startTime":1092.758,"endTime":1094.551,"body":"She's like, No, the laugh."},{"startTime":1094.551,"endTime":1096.804,"body":"I'm like, I'm 41. Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":1096.804,"endTime":1099.389,"body":"That's like the documentary."},{"startTime":1096.804,"endTime":1099.389,"body":"The Dude Who Didn't use a Rope."},{"startTime":1099.389,"endTime":1101.225,"body":"Did you guys see that? No, He."},{"startTime":1101.225,"endTime":1102.184,"body":"Just climb Shit."},{"startTime":1102.184,"endTime":1106.897,"body":"Dude, he climbed that high a sheet"},{"startTime":1102.184,"endTime":1106.897,"body":"where he's like, I'm going to do this"},{"startTime":1107.064,"endTime":1107.815,"body":"without a rope."},{"startTime":1107.815,"endTime":1109.858,"body":"No. Or crampons in the thing."},{"startTime":1109.858,"endTime":1111.902,"body":"Yeah. And this one, I mean, I think he."},{"startTime":1111.902,"endTime":1114.404,"body":"They studied his brain"},{"startTime":1111.902,"endTime":1114.404,"body":"like he's off. Yeah."},{"startTime":1114.404,"endTime":1117.95,"body":"And then he got, he got to I mean,"},{"startTime":1114.404,"endTime":1117.95,"body":"I think he says he's on the spectrum"},{"startTime":1117.95,"endTime":1121.745,"body":"because he gets to the top"},{"startTime":1117.95,"endTime":1121.745,"body":"and then he goes, I feel elated."},{"startTime":1122.246,"endTime":1124.623,"body":"This is very this is exhilaration."},{"startTime":1124.623,"endTime":1128.502,"body":"And you're like, Dude, I know where you"},{"startTime":1124.623,"endTime":1128.502,"body":"We cut you off with the Lewis Black story."},{"startTime":1128.502,"endTime":1129.169,"body":"Did we cut you?"},{"startTime":1129.169,"endTime":1131.588,"body":"Oh, oh, oh. Alaska to Alaska."},{"startTime":1131.588,"endTime":1134.133,"body":"Because I had a dad there"},{"startTime":1131.588,"endTime":1134.133,"body":"on the Lewis thing, too."},{"startTime":1134.133,"endTime":1135.092,"body":"I want to hear you're okay."},{"startTime":1135.092,"endTime":1140.222,"body":"So, I mean, I'd say we were we both"},{"startTime":1135.092,"endTime":1140.222,"body":"did great, but it was always kind of cold."},{"startTime":1140.43,"endTime":1140.806,"body":"Kind of."},{"startTime":1140.806,"endTime":1143.433,"body":"The room was a little bit weird each time."},{"startTime":1143.433,"endTime":1146.854,"body":"And then on our last night,"},{"startTime":1143.433,"endTime":1146.854,"body":"we had a really good show, both of us."},{"startTime":1147.062,"endTime":1150.44,"body":"And he bought the audience"},{"startTime":1147.062,"endTime":1150.44,"body":"a round of drinks."},{"startTime":1150.44,"endTime":1152.776,"body":"And then these drinks"},{"startTime":1150.44,"endTime":1152.776,"body":"were called duck farts"},{"startTime":1152.776,"endTime":1155.821,"body":"and they were like four different kinds"},{"startTime":1152.776,"endTime":1155.821,"body":"of shot."},{"startTime":1156.155,"endTime":1160.742,"body":"And he, I think he didn't realize"},{"startTime":1156.155,"endTime":1160.742,"body":"that everybody is a bit of a drunk"},{"startTime":1161.994,"endTime":1164.538,"body":"or, you know, dry drunk or whatever."},{"startTime":1164.538,"endTime":1168.167,"body":"And I think there were maybe"},{"startTime":1164.538,"endTime":1168.167,"body":"200 people in the audience, maybe. Wow."},{"startTime":1168.375,"endTime":1171.378,"body":"And everybody,"},{"startTime":1168.375,"endTime":1171.378,"body":"I think, probably had two shots."},{"startTime":1171.545,"endTime":1172.963,"body":"They were completely hammered."},{"startTime":1172.963,"endTime":1176.216,"body":"And at the end, that was his entire check."},{"startTime":1176.675,"endTime":1177.634,"body":"Oh, my. God."},{"startTime":1177.634,"endTime":1178.969,"body":"All the winning. Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":1178.969,"endTime":1181.346,"body":"It's because when we got back to New York,"},{"startTime":1178.969,"endTime":1181.346,"body":"he had to borrow money."},{"startTime":1181.346,"endTime":1182.973,"body":"You know?"},{"startTime":1182.973,"endTime":1184.016,"body":"And I went to anchor."},{"startTime":1184.016,"endTime":1185.309,"body":"I was on my way to Denali,"},{"startTime":1185.309,"endTime":1187.144,"body":"but I spent one night in Anchorage"},{"startTime":1185.309,"endTime":1187.144,"body":"waiting for the train."},{"startTime":1187.144,"endTime":1189.73,"body":"And it was"},{"startTime":1187.144,"endTime":1189.73,"body":"I remember the rose of Roseanne Barr."},{"startTime":1189.73,"endTime":1191.064,"body":"I was like, I want to watch that."},{"startTime":1191.064,"endTime":1193.859,"body":"And I was in my hotel room"},{"startTime":1191.064,"endTime":1193.859,"body":"and that was over at like 11:30 p.m.."},{"startTime":1193.859,"endTime":1195.903,"body":"I was like, Well,"},{"startTime":1193.859,"endTime":1195.903,"body":"I should go to sleep the train."},{"startTime":1195.903,"endTime":1197.237,"body":"And then but the sun was up."},{"startTime":1197.237,"endTime":1199.531,"body":"It was the summer nights I look over like,"},{"startTime":1197.237,"endTime":1199.531,"body":"Well, that's fucking crazy."},{"startTime":1199.531,"endTime":1201.2,"body":"I should, I'm in Anchorage, let's go out."},{"startTime":1201.2,"endTime":1204.828,"body":"And so I went out on the streets"},{"startTime":1201.2,"endTime":1204.828,"body":"and it's broad daylight at midnight"},{"startTime":1205.078,"endTime":1208.081,"body":"and everyone who was normal"},{"startTime":1205.078,"endTime":1208.081,"body":"before was now crooked."},{"startTime":1208.081,"endTime":1210.876,"body":"It was like the weirdest thing. Yeah."},{"startTime":1208.081,"endTime":1210.876,"body":"And that's what I saw."},{"startTime":1210.876,"endTime":1214.463,"body":"I first caught my eye was all these people"},{"startTime":1210.876,"endTime":1214.463,"body":"just laying in the grass and laughing."},{"startTime":1214.463,"endTime":1215.964,"body":"I was like, Whoa, yeah."},{"startTime":1215.964,"endTime":1217.716,"body":"And then someone was in the street."},{"startTime":1217.716,"endTime":1219.509,"body":"Lorne Like, just laughing."},{"startTime":1219.509,"endTime":1222.387,"body":"And then there was a car that came,"},{"startTime":1219.509,"endTime":1222.387,"body":"and then that's when I was like,"},{"startTime":1222.387,"endTime":1223.18,"body":"What the fuck is happening?"},{"startTime":1223.18,"endTime":1224.139,"body":"And the person in the car goes,"},{"startTime":1224.139,"endTime":1227.017,"body":"they open their door"},{"startTime":1224.139,"endTime":1227.017,"body":"and go get the fuck out of the road."},{"startTime":1227.017,"endTime":1228.477,"body":"And then they fell down."},{"startTime":1228.477,"endTime":1231.48,"body":"Oh yeah, it was if it. Landed in. Wrong."},{"startTime":1233.023,"endTime":1234.274,"body":"Nudge, it was so crazy."},{"startTime":1234.274,"endTime":1235.442,"body":"That's crazy."},{"startTime":1235.442,"endTime":1239.738,"body":"I was just trying to go to a corner store"},{"startTime":1235.442,"endTime":1239.738,"body":"and get a beer or something,"},{"startTime":1239.821,"endTime":1240.948,"body":"which they don't have."},{"startTime":1240.948,"endTime":1243.45,"body":"Like, you can't just buy beer like that."},{"startTime":1243.45,"endTime":1246.995,"body":"So then I just went to a bar"},{"startTime":1243.45,"endTime":1246.995,"body":"where a Vietnam vet came up to me."},{"startTime":1247.037,"endTime":1249.498,"body":"He was in Alaska for like a bucket list"},{"startTime":1247.037,"endTime":1249.498,"body":"trip."},{"startTime":1249.498,"endTime":1250.916,"body":"His friend had terminal cancer."},{"startTime":1250.916,"endTime":1252.626,"body":"Oh no. I go and I go."},{"startTime":1252.626,"endTime":1252.876,"body":"I go."},{"startTime":1252.876,"endTime":1254.544,"body":"How's the trip? Because I hate it."},{"startTime":1254.544,"endTime":1255.963,"body":"I want to go. He's from Florida."},{"startTime":1255.963,"endTime":1258.924,"body":"I want to go back to Florida. And I go,"},{"startTime":1255.963,"endTime":1258.924,"body":"What have you done?"},{"startTime":1258.924,"endTime":1260.676,"body":"He goes, We've been whale watching."},{"startTime":1260.676,"endTime":1262.261,"body":"And what kind of what kind of whales"},{"startTime":1260.676,"endTime":1262.261,"body":"did you see?"},{"startTime":1262.261,"endTime":1264.179,"body":"He goes, Oh, no. Brown ones."},{"startTime":1264.179,"endTime":1266.932,"body":"Oh, I don't think there's like."},{"startTime":1264.179,"endTime":1266.932,"body":"What's the brown one?"},{"startTime":1266.932,"endTime":1269.184,"body":"He showed me Vietnam like bullet wounds."},{"startTime":1269.184,"endTime":1270.727,"body":"And it was wild."},{"startTime":1270.727,"endTime":1271.687,"body":"That sounds like."},{"startTime":1271.687,"endTime":1273.063,"body":"True. People are. Fucking."},{"startTime":1273.063,"endTime":1274.564,"body":"I feel like this could be a moth."},{"startTime":1275.524,"endTime":1276.817,"body":"Yeah, this sounds like."},{"startTime":1276.817,"endTime":1278.485,"body":"It as much as we are."},{"startTime":1278.485,"endTime":1279.361,"body":"Yeah, I know."},{"startTime":1279.361,"endTime":1280.654,"body":"I feel that way now."},{"startTime":1280.654,"endTime":1283.615,"body":"I'm like, to sum up America"},{"startTime":1283.657,"endTime":1286.66,"body":"with two words memory foam, and"},{"startTime":1287.703,"endTime":1290.414,"body":"I hate that so much."},{"startTime":1290.414,"endTime":1294.876,"body":"That is any kind of advertising boost"},{"startTime":1290.414,"endTime":1294.876,"body":"to anything."},{"startTime":1295.127,"endTime":1297.921,"body":"Like, where did I Sweat last?"},{"startTime":1297.921,"endTime":1298.38,"body":"Right?"},{"startTime":1298.38,"endTime":1300.299,"body":"And make a hole"},{"startTime":1300.299,"endTime":1302.342,"body":"in the bed on a pillow?"},{"startTime":1302.342,"endTime":1304.97,"body":"It's fucking disgusting."},{"startTime":1302.342,"endTime":1304.97,"body":"That's what. My God."},{"startTime":1304.97,"endTime":1307.764,"body":"Now, with memory foam there,"},{"startTime":1304.97,"endTime":1307.764,"body":"those are shoes and everything."},{"startTime":1307.764,"endTime":1309.891,"body":"And so blows. Every sponsorship we get."},{"startTime":1309.891,"endTime":1313.854,"body":"I never thought about the like"},{"startTime":1309.891,"endTime":1313.854,"body":"it takes us through Amsterdam."},{"startTime":1313.854,"endTime":1315.897,"body":"Oh no. Ireland. It's like Laura."},{"startTime":1315.897,"endTime":1316.398,"body":"Ireland."},{"startTime":1316.398,"endTime":1320.402,"body":"Laura is taking us through the cliffs"},{"startTime":1316.398,"endTime":1320.402,"body":"of Moher sponsored by memory foam."},{"startTime":1320.402,"endTime":1322.446,"body":"I'm telling you, that could be a thing."},{"startTime":1322.446,"endTime":1325.866,"body":"So. Okay, you said you did stand up,"},{"startTime":1322.446,"endTime":1325.866,"body":"then you weren't."},{"startTime":1325.866,"endTime":1327.075,"body":"Ready for it. I wasn't ready."},{"startTime":1327.075,"endTime":1329.328,"body":"And then you came back to it."},{"startTime":1327.075,"endTime":1329.328,"body":"And so I did."},{"startTime":1329.328,"endTime":1330.579,"body":"Where did you go?"},{"startTime":1330.579,"endTime":1333.707,"body":"Uh, I did the improv thing,"},{"startTime":1330.579,"endTime":1333.707,"body":"and I did a solo show,"},{"startTime":1333.707,"endTime":1336.251,"body":"so it was really like I started like"},{"startTime":1333.707,"endTime":1336.251,"body":"I went to the Neighborhood Playhouse,"},{"startTime":1336.251,"endTime":1340.088,"body":"so I did Coke Fridge app,"},{"startTime":1336.251,"endTime":1340.088,"body":"which was my solo show and friends."},{"startTime":1340.088,"endTime":1341.006,"body":"So hold on."},{"startTime":1341.006,"endTime":1343.216,"body":"Wait, this is so you're going to end"},{"startTime":1341.006,"endTime":1343.216,"body":"with a solo show."},{"startTime":1343.216,"endTime":1345.302,"body":"How many like shows have you produced?"},{"startTime":1345.302,"endTime":1347.095,"body":"This would be my third solo show."},{"startTime":1347.095,"endTime":1349.931,"body":"I feel like I didn't do stand up"},{"startTime":1347.095,"endTime":1349.931,"body":"until I was like 38."},{"startTime":1349.931,"endTime":1350.557,"body":"Yeah, it's out here,"},{"startTime":1350.557,"endTime":1353.894,"body":"but I've had improv and acting and writing"},{"startTime":1350.557,"endTime":1353.894,"body":"and then I watched it."},{"startTime":1353.935,"endTime":1357.064,"body":"My friend"},{"startTime":1353.935,"endTime":1357.064,"body":"just bomb at the Improv like it was, and."},{"startTime":1357.356,"endTime":1358.815,"body":"It wasn't me. It was"},{"startTime":1360.567,"endTime":1362.319,"body":"I thought."},{"startTime":1362.319,"endTime":1364.821,"body":"It was Terry Moran and I was just like"},{"startTime":1362.319,"endTime":1364.821,"body":"I said,"},{"startTime":1364.821,"endTime":1366.907,"body":"I was the point in my life where I'm like,"},{"startTime":1364.821,"endTime":1366.907,"body":"Come at me."},{"startTime":1366.907,"endTime":1369.242,"body":"Oh, name names. Yeah, that's great."},{"startTime":1366.907,"endTime":1369.242,"body":"That's okay."},{"startTime":1369.242,"endTime":1370.327,"body":"Yeah, that's fine."},{"startTime":1370.327,"endTime":1372.746,"body":"But my friend was like,"},{"startTime":1370.327,"endTime":1372.746,"body":"teaching in classrooms."},{"startTime":1372.746,"endTime":1373.955,"body":"I'm like a class nerd."},{"startTime":1373.955,"endTime":1377.709,"body":"And so I took Leslie Will's class,"},{"startTime":1373.955,"endTime":1377.709,"body":"and then I just did standup."},{"startTime":1377.709,"endTime":1380.712,"body":"Yeah, but it was helpful"},{"startTime":1377.709,"endTime":1380.712,"body":"because I feel like I'd had this kid,"},{"startTime":1380.712,"endTime":1381.588,"body":"so I was like, I just."},{"startTime":1381.588,"endTime":1383.215,"body":"I started months pregnant, so I'm like,"},{"startTime":1383.215,"endTime":1384.966,"body":"No one's going to throw a pumpkin"},{"startTime":1383.215,"endTime":1384.966,"body":"at a pregnant woman."},{"startTime":1384.966,"endTime":1387.969,"body":"And I mean, well, I go to Texas."},{"startTime":1388.72,"endTime":1389.513,"body":"Maybe they will."},{"startTime":1389.513,"endTime":1391.348,"body":"And so then it so I found it later."},{"startTime":1391.348,"endTime":1395.227,"body":"But what was nice is that I felt"},{"startTime":1391.348,"endTime":1395.227,"body":"the improv was helpful for sure."},{"startTime":1395.727,"endTime":1398.73,"body":"So when you're like pregnant,"},{"startTime":1395.727,"endTime":1398.73,"body":"having a kid, like,"},{"startTime":1399.147,"endTime":1400.857,"body":"is that why you're just like,"},{"startTime":1399.147,"endTime":1400.857,"body":"screaming from the inside?"},{"startTime":1400.857,"endTime":1403.11,"body":"You're like, I have to do something like."},{"startTime":1400.857,"endTime":1403.11,"body":"And then like, yeah, it was."},{"startTime":1403.11,"endTime":1405.862,"body":"I mean, literally it was like,"},{"startTime":1403.11,"endTime":1405.862,"body":"you're not going to take over."},{"startTime":1405.862,"endTime":1407.531,"body":"Like, you're, you've. Already"},{"startTime":1405.862,"endTime":1407.531,"body":"been a cock block."},{"startTime":1407.531,"endTime":1408.115,"body":"Like, All right,"},{"startTime":1408.115,"endTime":1411.159,"body":"I've told the story so many times,"},{"startTime":1408.115,"endTime":1411.159,"body":"but like, I got someone's like,"},{"startTime":1411.159,"endTime":1413.912,"body":"you want to do nonthreatening,"},{"startTime":1411.159,"endTime":1413.912,"body":"attractive club patron and magic."},{"startTime":1413.912,"endTime":1414.871,"body":"Mike Yeah."},{"startTime":1414.871,"endTime":1418.708,"body":"So I was like, and literally"},{"startTime":1414.871,"endTime":1418.708,"body":"the casting directors like, Channing"},{"startTime":1418.708,"endTime":1420.168,"body":"Tatum is going to give you a lap dance."},{"startTime":1420.168,"endTime":1421.628,"body":"Wow. And I was like,"},{"startTime":1421.628,"endTime":1425.34,"body":"And I just in my morning pages that day"},{"startTime":1421.628,"endTime":1425.34,"body":"and I was like, See, I was open."},{"startTime":1425.382,"endTime":1425.882,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1425.882,"endTime":1429.428,"body":"But I get to the set"},{"startTime":1425.882,"endTime":1429.428,"body":"and they see that I'm ten weeks pregnant"},{"startTime":1429.803,"endTime":1431.596,"body":"and the cunt on the headset."},{"startTime":1431.596,"endTime":1432.18,"body":"The second it is"},{"startTime":1432.18,"endTime":1435.183,"body":"like she's not going to be able"},{"startTime":1432.18,"endTime":1435.183,"body":"to get thrown and work on the fire."},{"startTime":1435.475,"endTime":1437.227,"body":"And I'm like, Oh,"},{"startTime":1435.475,"endTime":1437.227,"body":"I didn't have a plate of pasta"},{"startTime":1437.227,"endTime":1440.564,"body":"carbonara like,"},{"startTime":1437.227,"endTime":1440.564,"body":"you know, So she literally was a cock."},{"startTime":1440.564,"endTime":1443.4,"body":"BLOCK. Oh, that's remarkable."},{"startTime":1443.4,"endTime":1444.192,"body":"Yeah. You're going."},{"startTime":1444.192,"endTime":1447.195,"body":"To be able to tell that at, like,"},{"startTime":1444.192,"endTime":1447.195,"body":"the graduation."},{"startTime":1447.779,"endTime":1448.363,"body":"Wedding."},{"startTime":1448.363,"endTime":1451.283,"body":"I know she that she's like,"},{"startTime":1448.363,"endTime":1451.283,"body":"you're not funny"},{"startTime":1451.283,"endTime":1453.535,"body":"and you need to derma plain"},{"startTime":1451.283,"endTime":1453.535,"body":"and your pores are big."},{"startTime":1453.535,"endTime":1456.121,"body":"Oh, Ouch. She's mean. Wait, how?"},{"startTime":1456.121,"endTime":1456.872,"body":"See, this is thing."},{"startTime":1456.872,"endTime":1458.957,"body":"That's why I don't have kids."},{"startTime":1456.872,"endTime":1458.957,"body":"Because they're fucking mean, too."},{"startTime":1458.957,"endTime":1461.042,"body":"You're like, Yeah,"},{"startTime":1458.957,"endTime":1461.042,"body":"you know what I mean? Tell me."},{"startTime":1461.042,"endTime":1461.793,"body":"But she's not nice."},{"startTime":1461.793,"endTime":1462.586,"body":"No, she's not."},{"startTime":1462.586,"endTime":1465.422,"body":"She's sweet to everyone,"},{"startTime":1462.586,"endTime":1465.422,"body":"but no, she's horrible to me."},{"startTime":1465.422,"endTime":1468.508,"body":"My friend has like a six year old"},{"startTime":1465.422,"endTime":1468.508,"body":"and a four year old."},{"startTime":1468.508,"endTime":1470.218,"body":"And we were talking to just about this."},{"startTime":1470.218,"endTime":1472.387,"body":"That the mean shit that she says,"},{"startTime":1470.218,"endTime":1472.387,"body":"She's like, Oh, they call me fat"},{"startTime":1472.387,"endTime":1472.846,"body":"all the time."},{"startTime":1472.846,"endTime":1474.723,"body":"And she goes, Here's"},{"startTime":1472.846,"endTime":1474.723,"body":"the thing I know, which is heartbreaking,"},{"startTime":1474.723,"endTime":1478.81,"body":"But she goes, The thing they don't know"},{"startTime":1474.723,"endTime":1478.81,"body":"is I'm keeping track of every meeting."},{"startTime":1478.977,"endTime":1480.228,"body":"They say, Yeah."},{"startTime":1480.228,"endTime":1482.063,"body":"You got to love that in a dossier."},{"startTime":1482.063,"endTime":1484.274,"body":"I mean,"},{"startTime":1482.063,"endTime":1484.274,"body":"I actually just put codes on everything."},{"startTime":1484.274,"endTime":1485.525,"body":"Yeah, she went through my texts"},{"startTime":1485.525,"endTime":1488.528,"body":"and she goes through my Instagram"},{"startTime":1485.525,"endTime":1488.528,"body":"and she's she literally goes,"},{"startTime":1488.612,"endTime":1490.113,"body":"Are you stalking him?"},{"startTime":1490.113,"endTime":1491.865,"body":"You're like a stalker."},{"startTime":1491.865,"endTime":1493.074,"body":"And she was right."},{"startTime":1493.074,"endTime":1494.743,"body":"Yeah, she knew that I was."},{"startTime":1494.743,"endTime":1496.745,"body":"Too. Mm hmm."},{"startTime":1496.745,"endTime":1498.371,"body":"I'm like, this was a wake up call."},{"startTime":1498.371,"endTime":1501.708,"body":"That's the one thing is it's like,"},{"startTime":1498.371,"endTime":1501.708,"body":"never leave a paper trail."},{"startTime":1502.0,"endTime":1504.294,"body":"Never. I think that's the only thing"},{"startTime":1502.0,"endTime":1504.294,"body":"Donald Trump ever. Got, right?"},{"startTime":1504.294,"endTime":1505.587,"body":"Well, you know."},{"startTime":1505.587,"endTime":1507.297,"body":"He never paid no paper."},{"startTime":1507.297,"endTime":1509.049,"body":"I mean, just"},{"startTime":1507.297,"endTime":1509.049,"body":"I have to put everything in a safe."},{"startTime":1513.929,"endTime":1515.138,"body":"You grew up in Manhattan."},{"startTime":1515.138,"endTime":1515.847,"body":"Yeah, right."},{"startTime":1515.847,"endTime":1516.598,"body":"I feel like that"},{"startTime":1516.598,"endTime":1520.185,"body":"makes the person more savvy about,"},{"startTime":1516.598,"endTime":1520.185,"body":"you know, everything about performing of"},{"startTime":1520.227,"endTime":1521.561,"body":"I mean. You'd think so."},{"startTime":1521.561,"endTime":1524.94,"body":"And, like, all I did was just, like, spend"},{"startTime":1525.065,"endTime":1529.069,"body":"my entire nineties at Limelight"},{"startTime":1525.065,"endTime":1529.069,"body":"with someone doing coke off me."},{"startTime":1529.444,"endTime":1531.571,"body":"Like, Oh, I remember."},{"startTime":1531.571,"endTime":1533.49,"body":"And the way I like that. Right?"},{"startTime":1533.49,"endTime":1535.867,"body":"What did you go see shows with parents?"},{"startTime":1535.867,"endTime":1537.869,"body":"You know,"},{"startTime":1535.867,"endTime":1537.869,"body":"I feel like one of the best about my mom"},{"startTime":1537.869,"endTime":1539.913,"body":"is she took me to Broadway shows"},{"startTime":1537.869,"endTime":1539.913,"body":"since I was four."},{"startTime":1539.913,"endTime":1543.375,"body":"So I remember seeing like awesome"},{"startTime":1539.913,"endTime":1543.375,"body":"Yul Brynner in The King in a Maze."},{"startTime":1543.416,"endTime":1544.96,"body":"I remember it."},{"startTime":1544.96,"endTime":1546.211,"body":"Yeah. Which was crazy."},{"startTime":1546.211,"endTime":1548.547,"body":"So yes, I saw a lot."},{"startTime":1546.211,"endTime":1548.547,"body":"So that was incredible."},{"startTime":1548.547,"endTime":1550.924,"body":"Where in the city"},{"startTime":1548.547,"endTime":1550.924,"body":"did you grow up? Upper East."},{"startTime":1550.924,"endTime":1552.008,"body":"Oh, that's cool."},{"startTime":1552.008,"endTime":1553.26,"body":"Oh, it is so cool."},{"startTime":1553.26,"endTime":1556.471,"body":"I mean, well,"},{"startTime":1553.26,"endTime":1556.471,"body":"I like keep that on the DL really people,"},{"startTime":1556.471,"endTime":1559.474,"body":"because I have friends"},{"startTime":1556.471,"endTime":1559.474,"body":"who grew up in like the West Village."},{"startTime":1559.766,"endTime":1560.433,"body":"I mean, that's."},{"startTime":1560.433,"endTime":1562.269,"body":"My favorite restaurant is on every side."},{"startTime":1562.269,"endTime":1565.272,"body":"I do a it's on my. Parents go there."},{"startTime":1565.438,"endTime":1566.982,"body":"I love I."},{"startTime":1566.982,"endTime":1569.317,"body":"Will. I'll go. I'm never going to one."},{"startTime":1569.317,"endTime":1572.32,"body":"I love doing one of the best meals"},{"startTime":1569.317,"endTime":1572.32,"body":"I ever had in my entire life."},{"startTime":1572.487,"endTime":1575.657,"body":"And I remember my friend who was vegan"},{"startTime":1572.487,"endTime":1575.657,"body":"and they had a dish for her,"},{"startTime":1575.657,"endTime":1576.533,"body":"but hers was shitty."},{"startTime":1576.533,"endTime":1579.119,"body":"It wasn't the best. And I was like,"},{"startTime":1576.533,"endTime":1579.119,"body":"I. Can't go vegan to do. It. Not there."},{"startTime":1579.119,"endTime":1582.956,"body":"Oh yeah, but I did because the place,"},{"startTime":1579.119,"endTime":1582.956,"body":"the endoscopy place"},{"startTime":1582.956,"endTime":1587.002,"body":"where Joan Rivers had"},{"startTime":1582.956,"endTime":1587.002,"body":"her fatal procedure is close to that."},{"startTime":1587.085,"endTime":1588.753,"body":"I love this."},{"startTime":1588.753,"endTime":1591.506,"body":"Well, obviously it was. It was a journey."},{"startTime":1591.506,"endTime":1594.05,"body":"I went and spit on the endoscopy place"},{"startTime":1591.506,"endTime":1594.05,"body":"and then I went and had lunch."},{"startTime":1594.05,"endTime":1595.468,"body":"It doing."},{"startTime":1595.468,"endTime":1597.47,"body":"Was crazy. There you have it."},{"startTime":1597.47,"endTime":1598.93,"body":"But I you know, I was there."},{"startTime":1598.93,"endTime":1600.015,"body":"I haven't seen you."},{"startTime":1600.015,"endTime":1603.685,"body":"And I was wondering when we can"},{"startTime":1600.015,"endTime":1603.685,"body":"get this out, if it's too personal."},{"startTime":1603.685,"endTime":1607.814,"body":"But I was wondering if you went to Harper"},{"startTime":1603.685,"endTime":1607.814,"body":"Simon's party."},{"startTime":1607.856,"endTime":1608.815,"body":"I did. And."},{"startTime":1608.815,"endTime":1610.609,"body":"Oh. I kind of."},{"startTime":1610.609,"endTime":1612.569,"body":"Grew up with your. Show. Yeah."},{"startTime":1612.569,"endTime":1615.864,"body":"I feel like I knew a lot of people"},{"startTime":1612.569,"endTime":1615.864,"body":"who lost her virginity to Harper Simon."},{"startTime":1615.947,"endTime":1616.99,"body":"Oh, my."},{"startTime":1616.99,"endTime":1620.91,"body":"And I made out because he lived in the App"},{"startTime":1616.99,"endTime":1620.91,"body":"Store, which is 79th and Broadway,"},{"startTime":1621.328,"endTime":1623.246,"body":"where the only that my thing is"},{"startTime":1621.328,"endTime":1623.246,"body":"they were like,"},{"startTime":1623.246,"endTime":1625.081,"body":"Why don't you walk on a ledge?"},{"startTime":1623.246,"endTime":1625.081,"body":"Lizzie Yeah."},{"startTime":1625.081,"endTime":1627.125,"body":"So I would walk on the ledge."},{"startTime":1627.125,"endTime":1629.836,"body":"Edge of the building. Yeah, I did. Where?"},{"startTime":1627.125,"endTime":1629.836,"body":"What were you trying to prove?"},{"startTime":1629.836,"endTime":1633.423,"body":"I exactly bring that up in my next EMDR"},{"startTime":1629.836,"endTime":1633.423,"body":"session."},{"startTime":1634.049,"endTime":1636.217,"body":"Okay. But yeah, no, I."},{"startTime":1636.217,"endTime":1641.473,"body":"He was like this very almost Gatsby,"},{"startTime":1636.217,"endTime":1641.473,"body":"like, fit this figure assignment."},{"startTime":1641.598,"endTime":1644.934,"body":"Like, there's a few figures in New York"},{"startTime":1641.598,"endTime":1644.934,"body":"like that."},{"startTime":1644.934,"endTime":1647.354,"body":"Yeah, I'm just having flashes of you"},{"startTime":1644.934,"endTime":1647.354,"body":"walking on the edge of a building."},{"startTime":1647.354,"endTime":1649.022,"body":"Like, that's very Jim Morrison of you."},{"startTime":1649.022,"endTime":1649.648,"body":"Like, right?"},{"startTime":1649.648,"endTime":1652.984,"body":"Funny you should say that is I saw"},{"startTime":1649.648,"endTime":1652.984,"body":"the Doors movie twice in the theater."},{"startTime":1653.902,"endTime":1656.78,"body":"Well,"},{"startTime":1653.902,"endTime":1656.78,"body":"and then my Matt Jones, the guy was like,"},{"startTime":1656.78,"endTime":1659.824,"body":"cheating on my boyfriend"},{"startTime":1656.78,"endTime":1659.824,"body":"with him, like, on the roof of the car."},{"startTime":1659.824,"endTime":1663.495,"body":"And he's like, I am wild and free guy."},{"startTime":1663.495,"endTime":1663.87,"body":"And I was."},{"startTime":1663.87,"endTime":1665.163,"body":"Like, Get out."},{"startTime":1665.163,"endTime":1667.624,"body":"My. Yeah, we go to church every Sunday."},{"startTime":1667.624,"endTime":1669.084,"body":"But it wasn't like that oppressive"},{"startTime":1669.084,"endTime":1671.67,"body":"because it was Methodist,"},{"startTime":1669.084,"endTime":1671.67,"body":"but it was so like fucking"},{"startTime":1671.67,"endTime":1673.38,"body":"they had to get out of bed every Sunday,"},{"startTime":1671.67,"endTime":1673.38,"body":"which was rough."},{"startTime":1673.38,"endTime":1677.717,"body":"And one time our minister had this,"},{"startTime":1673.38,"endTime":1677.717,"body":"it was don't do drugs sermon."},{"startTime":1677.967,"endTime":1682.43,"body":"But his whole core of the story"},{"startTime":1677.967,"endTime":1682.43,"body":"was that he saw the Doors final concert,"},{"startTime":1683.014,"endTime":1685.934,"body":"and even to him as a fan back in the day,"},{"startTime":1685.934,"endTime":1689.104,"body":"it was like Jim"},{"startTime":1685.934,"endTime":1689.104,"body":"Morrison was bloated and out of his mind"},{"startTime":1689.396,"endTime":1693.149,"body":"and sat on the edge of the stage"},{"startTime":1689.396,"endTime":1693.149,"body":"and just stared into oblivion."},{"startTime":1693.149,"endTime":1695.151,"body":"And that was like"},{"startTime":1693.149,"endTime":1695.151,"body":"the trauma of all the drugs."},{"startTime":1695.151,"endTime":1697.737,"body":"And I was just sitting in the pew like,"},{"startTime":1695.151,"endTime":1697.737,"body":"That sounds awesome."},{"startTime":1697.737,"endTime":1699.572,"body":"Yeah, I. Can't wait to see the."},{"startTime":1699.572,"endTime":1700.615,"body":"Coolest thing I've. Ever."},{"startTime":1700.615,"endTime":1703.201,"body":"Yeah,"},{"startTime":1700.615,"endTime":1703.201,"body":"we should all hope to end on the toilet."},{"startTime":1703.201,"endTime":1704.119,"body":"Well."},{"startTime":1704.119,"endTime":1706.496,"body":"It was an. Elvis. No, no, I know. He."},{"startTime":1706.496,"endTime":1707.414,"body":"I don't know."},{"startTime":1707.414,"endTime":1707.872,"body":"He did."},{"startTime":1707.872,"endTime":1710.417,"body":"Yeah, I finished."},{"startTime":1707.872,"endTime":1710.417,"body":"She was in a bathtub or toilet."},{"startTime":1710.417,"endTime":1713.044,"body":"I feel like either way, if you're."},{"startTime":1710.417,"endTime":1713.044,"body":"If you die."},{"startTime":1713.044,"endTime":1716.715,"body":"If you die in a seated position,"},{"startTime":1713.044,"endTime":1716.715,"body":"like a good for you."},{"startTime":1716.715,"endTime":1717.173,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":1717.173,"endTime":1717.59,"body":"Easy on a."},{"startTime":1717.59,"endTime":1720.051,"body":"Life with a phone and relaxed. Yeah."},{"startTime":1720.051,"endTime":1721.219,"body":"I'm stoic and elegant."},{"startTime":1721.219,"endTime":1722.846,"body":"Yeah. You just kind of keel over."},{"startTime":1722.846,"endTime":1724.597,"body":"It's the whole. I'm tall, right? Yeah."},{"startTime":1724.597,"endTime":1727.517,"body":"If I just fall over dead, I'm"},{"startTime":1724.597,"endTime":1727.517,"body":"going to have, like, a head wound."},{"startTime":1727.517,"endTime":1729.269,"body":"I'm going to knock a vase off."},{"startTime":1727.517,"endTime":1729.269,"body":"I'm going to."},{"startTime":1729.269,"endTime":1730.103,"body":"Both of you."},{"startTime":1730.103,"endTime":1732.063,"body":"I mean, I. Know it's going to be clumsy."},{"startTime":1732.063,"endTime":1733.982,"body":"Yeah, it's"},{"startTime":1732.063,"endTime":1733.982,"body":"the only good thing about being Madonna's."},{"startTime":1733.982,"endTime":1735.734,"body":"I have moments."},{"startTime":1735.734,"endTime":1738.695,"body":"Well, no, Now she has your face"},{"startTime":1735.734,"endTime":1738.695,"body":"to soften the blow, which is fine."},{"startTime":1738.695,"endTime":1738.987,"body":"I know."},{"startTime":1738.987,"endTime":1741.573,"body":"Every time I bring up"},{"startTime":1738.987,"endTime":1741.573,"body":"now, everyone's like, Oh, God, You."},{"startTime":1741.573,"endTime":1742.24,"body":"Know, I."},{"startTime":1742.24,"endTime":1742.949,"body":"I support it."},{"startTime":1742.949,"endTime":1745.744,"body":"I like Madonna. Yeah, but you're"},{"startTime":1742.949,"endTime":1745.744,"body":"the perfect actress height, by the way."},{"startTime":1745.744,"endTime":1746.745,"body":"You're five two, right?"},{"startTime":1746.745,"endTime":1749.164,"body":"Yeah. Every actress out here is five two."},{"startTime":1749.164,"endTime":1750.081,"body":"You have to be small. Yeah."},{"startTime":1750.081,"endTime":1753.042,"body":"And every actor is five six."},{"startTime":1753.042,"endTime":1755.962,"body":"But they have five. Nine. Right? Exactly."},{"startTime":1755.962,"endTime":1756.963,"body":"That's what I see, Laura."},{"startTime":1756.963,"endTime":1759.591,"body":"That's why we're not movie stars too tall."},{"startTime":1756.963,"endTime":1759.591,"body":"I know."},{"startTime":1759.591,"endTime":1760.091,"body":"We have to write."},{"startTime":1760.091,"endTime":1762.51,"body":"We'll have to write a movie"},{"startTime":1760.091,"endTime":1762.51,"body":"about tall people."},{"startTime":1762.51,"endTime":1764.345,"body":"Tall people from the neck up."},{"startTime":1764.345,"endTime":1766.347,"body":"Yeah. It's not ordinary people."},{"startTime":1766.347,"endTime":1769.35,"body":"No tall people. Ever. Because we."},{"startTime":1769.768,"endTime":1771.686,"body":"Do you wear heels? Funny"},{"startTime":1769.768,"endTime":1771.686,"body":"you should say that."},{"startTime":1771.686,"endTime":1775.44,"body":"I said I'm still nursing a really boring"},{"startTime":1771.686,"endTime":1775.44,"body":"knee strain because I was like,"},{"startTime":1775.44,"endTime":1778.234,"body":"I'm going to get these quirk hot."},{"startTime":1775.44,"endTime":1778.234,"body":"I'm divorced."},{"startTime":1778.234,"endTime":1779.194,"body":"Let's get out."},{"startTime":1779.194,"endTime":1780.028,"body":"Yeah, do it."},{"startTime":1780.028,"endTime":1780.779,"body":"Yeah, I'm."},{"startTime":1780.779,"endTime":1784.824,"body":"That's not to bring up gymnastics again,"},{"startTime":1780.779,"endTime":1784.824,"body":"but I also she goes she's."},{"startTime":1784.824,"endTime":1786.159,"body":"Down on a trapeze. Yeah."},{"startTime":1786.159,"endTime":1787.702,"body":"I would find out when she's six"},{"startTime":1786.159,"endTime":1787.702,"body":"all around."},{"startTime":1787.702,"endTime":1789.579,"body":"The physical superiority."},{"startTime":1789.579,"endTime":1790.83,"body":"Well, you've been on trapeze."},{"startTime":1790.83,"endTime":1791.456,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1791.456,"endTime":1794.042,"body":"Have you done the I swing from the trapeze"},{"startTime":1791.456,"endTime":1794.042,"body":"and grab the other trapeze."},{"startTime":1794.042,"endTime":1795.168,"body":"Yes, I did that. Have you."},{"startTime":1795.168,"endTime":1798.046,"body":"Oh, no."},{"startTime":1795.168,"endTime":1798.046,"body":"But I know the dude grabbed the person."},{"startTime":1798.046,"endTime":1800.173,"body":"I was really impressed with that shock."},{"startTime":1800.173,"endTime":1802.342,"body":"Shock of taking my hands."},{"startTime":1800.173,"endTime":1802.342,"body":"But right now, no."},{"startTime":1802.342,"endTime":1803.843,"body":"I just broke out into a sweat."},{"startTime":1803.843,"endTime":1804.844,"body":"I'm like, you know, I use."},{"startTime":1804.844,"endTime":1807.847,"body":"I'm like, braggart. But hold on."},{"startTime":1807.931,"endTime":1809.432,"body":"Just. Okay."},{"startTime":1809.432,"endTime":1813.228,"body":"This is one of my biggest fears"},{"startTime":1809.432,"endTime":1813.228,"body":"is because it involves structural failure,"},{"startTime":1813.228,"endTime":1814.562,"body":"which is my biggest fear."},{"startTime":1814.562,"endTime":1817.148,"body":"But then it's"},{"startTime":1814.562,"endTime":1817.148,"body":"like I can fuck up my shit all day, right?"},{"startTime":1817.148,"endTime":1818.399,"body":"And I can be okay with it."},{"startTime":1818.399,"endTime":1820.485,"body":"Yeah, it's"},{"startTime":1818.399,"endTime":1820.485,"body":"been someone else fucks up my shit."},{"startTime":1820.485,"endTime":1821.82,"body":"I'm going live it, right?"},{"startTime":1821.82,"endTime":1822.028,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1822.028,"endTime":1824.864,"body":"So trapeze swing, you're swinging, right?"},{"startTime":1824.864,"endTime":1827.909,"body":"And it's totally that person's decision to"},{"startTime":1824.864,"endTime":1827.909,"body":"when to catch you, right?"},{"startTime":1827.909,"endTime":1829.619,"body":"If they're the receiver. Trapeze. Yeah."},{"startTime":1829.619,"endTime":1832.622,"body":"And then you're either a professional"},{"startTime":1829.619,"endTime":1832.622,"body":"instructor, which is what he was."},{"startTime":1832.831,"endTime":1835.166,"body":"Or when the fuck do you end"},{"startTime":1832.831,"endTime":1835.166,"body":"up on a trapeze without the."},{"startTime":1836.167,"endTime":1836.584,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1836.584,"endTime":1838.044,"body":"Why does that."},{"startTime":1838.044,"endTime":1839.879,"body":"Because you're making"},{"startTime":1838.044,"endTime":1839.879,"body":"it sound like just lands."},{"startTime":1839.879,"endTime":1840.839,"body":"Well, I'm waiting."},{"startTime":1840.839,"endTime":1841.297,"body":"To go to."},{"startTime":1841.297,"endTime":1842.131,"body":"Edinburgh."},{"startTime":1842.131,"endTime":1842.674,"body":"You're on."},{"startTime":1842.674,"endTime":1845.218,"body":"Absinthe"},{"startTime":1842.674,"endTime":1845.218,"body":"and then you're going to be on a. Trapeze."},{"startTime":1845.218,"endTime":1846.01,"body":"So you do?"},{"startTime":1846.01,"endTime":1849.013,"body":"In Ireland? I do a circus."},{"startTime":1846.01,"endTime":1849.013,"body":"They have no net."},{"startTime":1849.389,"endTime":1850.932,"body":"Europeans are psycho."},{"startTime":1850.932,"endTime":1852.267,"body":"Yeah. I won't let."},{"startTime":1852.267,"endTime":1854.769,"body":"Laura's"},{"startTime":1852.267,"endTime":1854.769,"body":"leap of the Edinburgh leads to absinthe."},{"startTime":1854.769,"endTime":1855.895,"body":"Every road leads to."},{"startTime":1855.895,"endTime":1858.273,"body":"Absinthe and then fuck. And Fielding's"},{"startTime":1855.895,"endTime":1858.273,"body":"going to be there."},{"startTime":1858.273,"endTime":1860.441,"body":"But Lizzie, Brains is going to kick"},{"startTime":1858.273,"endTime":1860.441,"body":"and be like, Look,"},{"startTime":1860.441,"endTime":1862.402,"body":"I can walk on the side of a building,"},{"startTime":1860.441,"endTime":1862.402,"body":"right?"},{"startTime":1862.402,"endTime":1863.903,"body":"Look at me. I'm still cool."},{"startTime":1863.903,"endTime":1865.864,"body":"But I do want to dissect that"},{"startTime":1863.903,"endTime":1865.864,"body":"for a second."},{"startTime":1865.864,"endTime":1868.074,"body":"So you're on one trapeze."},{"startTime":1868.074,"endTime":1871.077,"body":"We did this for my kid"},{"startTime":1868.074,"endTime":1871.077,"body":"and they looked at me and I."},{"startTime":1871.077,"endTime":1873.83,"body":"Of course, I had to be like I was"},{"startTime":1871.077,"endTime":1873.83,"body":"a gymnast, which I shouldn't have said."},{"startTime":1873.83,"endTime":1875.623,"body":"Right? It's gradations. It's level."},{"startTime":1875.623,"endTime":1878.501,"body":"So first you do it"},{"startTime":1875.623,"endTime":1878.501,"body":"and then you do a backflip into the net."},{"startTime":1878.501,"endTime":1880.587,"body":"Just that's the first fucking"},{"startTime":1881.796,"endTime":1882.797,"body":"mark."},{"startTime":1882.797,"endTime":1883.715,"body":"I know."},{"startTime":1883.715,"endTime":1887.01,"body":"And then, of course, my dad's watching"},{"startTime":1883.715,"endTime":1887.01,"body":"and I feel like Jane Fonda in or in"},{"startTime":1887.427,"endTime":1888.553,"body":"on Golden Pond."},{"startTime":1888.553,"endTime":1891.556,"body":"Yeah, she's like, Daddy,"},{"startTime":1888.553,"endTime":1891.556,"body":"I'm going to do the Die"},{"startTime":1892.223,"endTime":1894.475,"body":"Hard was like, Look at me, Dad."},{"startTime":1894.475,"endTime":1897.937,"body":"It was like in my mind's eye,"},{"startTime":1894.475,"endTime":1897.937,"body":"like I have a total aneurysm and then I'm."},{"startTime":1898.229,"endTime":1900.94,"body":"But what was cause I think I was having"},{"startTime":1898.229,"endTime":1900.94,"body":"an out-of-body experience"},{"startTime":1900.94,"endTime":1904.319,"body":"because I think it was like, I know that"},{"startTime":1900.94,"endTime":1904.319,"body":"I can't completely go to a hospital."},{"startTime":1904.319,"endTime":1905.361,"body":"There's a net. So what?"},{"startTime":1905.361,"endTime":1907.864,"body":"The worst thing that happens is"},{"startTime":1905.361,"endTime":1907.864,"body":"I make a fool of myself."},{"startTime":1907.864,"endTime":1910.158,"body":"Sure. So he, like I see him chalk up."},{"startTime":1910.158,"endTime":1914.245,"body":"We have the, like, matrix"},{"startTime":1910.158,"endTime":1914.245,"body":"eye of the tiger going go and catches."},{"startTime":1914.245,"endTime":1916.414,"body":"Your hands or your. Wrist."},{"startTime":1914.245,"endTime":1916.414,"body":"So you have to do it."},{"startTime":1916.414,"endTime":1917.582,"body":"You have to time it perfectly."},{"startTime":1917.582,"endTime":1918.583,"body":"So there's this alchemy."},{"startTime":1918.583,"endTime":1920.585,"body":"So right when he's there, I'm here."},{"startTime":1920.585,"endTime":1922.045,"body":"It was like this thing where you just."},{"startTime":1922.045,"endTime":1923.254,"body":"Give yourself things you."},{"startTime":1923.254,"endTime":1925.84,"body":"Give yourself"},{"startTime":1923.254,"endTime":1925.84,"body":"is like a complete surrender."},{"startTime":1925.84,"endTime":1928.843,"body":"I was like, If only I did"},{"startTime":1925.84,"endTime":1928.843,"body":"this more in my relationship."},{"startTime":1929.01,"endTime":1930.511,"body":"It was a metaphor."},{"startTime":1930.511,"endTime":1932.096,"body":"For, yeah, therapy."},{"startTime":1932.096,"endTime":1934.14,"body":"I would have grabbed him anywhere"},{"startTime":1932.096,"endTime":1934.14,"body":"I could like."},{"startTime":1934.14,"endTime":1935.016,"body":"Yeah, I know."},{"startTime":1935.016,"endTime":1936.351,"body":"Daddy has to grab you."},{"startTime":1936.351,"endTime":1937.143,"body":"Oh, I see."},{"startTime":1937.143,"endTime":1941.356,"body":"So you're just like, you're your lady in"},{"startTime":1937.143,"endTime":1941.356,"body":"waiting, and you're just like, hopefully."},{"startTime":1941.356,"endTime":1943.816,"body":"No, you know,"},{"startTime":1941.356,"endTime":1943.816,"body":"like when like a cat falls out of a tree,"},{"startTime":1943.816,"endTime":1946.11,"body":"you're like a squirrel"},{"startTime":1943.816,"endTime":1946.11,"body":"doesn't make the branch thing."},{"startTime":1946.11,"endTime":1947.487,"body":"That's me, like, scraping."},{"startTime":1947.487,"endTime":1949.238,"body":"I think you could do it."},{"startTime":1949.238,"endTime":1950.74,"body":"I think my arms are too long."},{"startTime":1950.74,"endTime":1955.078,"body":"In fact, I remember telling Fielding, and"},{"startTime":1950.74,"endTime":1955.078,"body":"this is like one of my favorite memories"},{"startTime":1955.078,"endTime":1958.247,"body":"of us first meeting, I was saying,"},{"startTime":1955.078,"endTime":1958.247,"body":"Yeah, my arms are really long."},{"startTime":1958.289,"endTime":1959.582,"body":"You know that. And then I."},{"startTime":1959.582,"endTime":1962.46,"body":"Then I went like this"},{"startTime":1959.582,"endTime":1962.46,"body":"and took my arms out of my sleeve."},{"startTime":1962.46,"endTime":1963.461,"body":"She goes, Oh."},{"startTime":1966.422,"endTime":1967.924,"body":"It's was like a parlor trick."},{"startTime":1967.924,"endTime":1972.053,"body":"I was like, Jesus, you're so gorgeous."},{"startTime":1972.053,"endTime":1973.513,"body":"What? I."},{"startTime":1973.513,"endTime":1974.514,"body":"I No, no, no."},{"startTime":1974.514,"endTime":1976.849,"body":"That's my thing."},{"startTime":1974.514,"endTime":1976.849,"body":"Laura could be like a dancer. We."},{"startTime":1976.849,"endTime":1978.184,"body":"You were a dancer. You were."},{"startTime":1978.184,"endTime":1981.354,"body":"I think you were doing Graham Technique"},{"startTime":1978.184,"endTime":1981.354,"body":"and Martha Graham in your previous life."},{"startTime":1981.354,"endTime":1982.981,"body":"Oh. Oh."},{"startTime":1982.981,"endTime":1985.066,"body":"Yeah, sure. In a previous life."},{"startTime":1985.066,"endTime":1986.567,"body":"Definitely. On this one."},{"startTime":1986.567,"endTime":1989.278,"body":"I see you as, like, an indoor"},{"startTime":1986.567,"endTime":1989.278,"body":"smoker in Paris or something."},{"startTime":1989.278,"endTime":1991.739,"body":"Yeah, like she's wearing ballet slippers"},{"startTime":1989.278,"endTime":1991.739,"body":"around the house."},{"startTime":1991.739,"endTime":1994.45,"body":"Yeah, ballet slippers are on. Yeah,"},{"startTime":1991.739,"endTime":1994.45,"body":"totally. We."},{"startTime":1994.45,"endTime":1996.16,"body":"Did you ever look cigaret lighter?"},{"startTime":1994.45,"endTime":1996.16,"body":"You never did."},{"startTime":1996.16,"endTime":1998.037,"body":"No. You did. It."},{"startTime":1998.037,"endTime":2002.625,"body":"I think I did a little in my twenties"},{"startTime":1998.037,"endTime":2002.625,"body":"because one of my temp jobs"},{"startTime":2002.625,"endTime":2007.088,"body":"was being a telemarketer and I pretended"},{"startTime":2002.625,"endTime":2007.088,"body":"to smoke to be next to this guy."},{"startTime":2007.547,"endTime":2009.048,"body":"Oh, my God."},{"startTime":2009.048,"endTime":2010.341,"body":"He would have vowed to smoke."},{"startTime":2010.341,"endTime":2011.926,"body":"And I'd only jab when."},{"startTime":2011.926,"endTime":2013.469,"body":"You go to bed in smokers, you"},{"startTime":2014.512,"endTime":2016.431,"body":"like American spirits and you weren't"},{"startTime":2014.512,"endTime":2016.431,"body":"even in here."},{"startTime":2016.431,"endTime":2016.889,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2016.889,"endTime":2017.974,"body":"What were you selling?"},{"startTime":2017.974,"endTime":2018.474,"body":"Oh, jeez."},{"startTime":2018.474,"endTime":2020.059,"body":"I did so many things to be next."},{"startTime":2020.059,"endTime":2021.811,"body":"I was in no time. I'd done that."},{"startTime":2021.811,"endTime":2023.146,"body":"Really well in high school."},{"startTime":2023.146,"endTime":2026.149,"body":"I took a rifle club to be on the ground"},{"startTime":2023.146,"endTime":2026.149,"body":"next to guys."},{"startTime":2026.149,"endTime":2027.9,"body":"What? Okay, wait."},{"startTime":2027.9,"endTime":2029.736,"body":"Wait for Jesus. Can you imagine?"},{"startTime":2029.736,"endTime":2031.07,"body":"Who was the telemarketer?"},{"startTime":2031.07,"endTime":2032.572,"body":"The heartthrob you had to be near?"},{"startTime":2032.572,"endTime":2033.906,"body":"Yeah. Oh, God."},{"startTime":2033.906,"endTime":2036.117,"body":"He had a fake name"},{"startTime":2033.906,"endTime":2036.117,"body":"because he was in a band."},{"startTime":2036.117,"endTime":2037.827,"body":"Everything was at a telemarketing."},{"startTime":2037.827,"endTime":2039.662,"body":"Hello? No one, Marvin."},{"startTime":2039.662,"endTime":2042.707,"body":"Oh, Amos. No, but he was also in a band."},{"startTime":2042.707,"endTime":2043.666,"body":"I think his name."},{"startTime":2043.666,"endTime":2045.418,"body":"His fake name was Dictate."},{"startTime":2045.418,"endTime":2046.669,"body":"Oh, that's clever."},{"startTime":2046.669,"endTime":2048.588,"body":"Yeah. And so, I don't know."},{"startTime":2048.588,"endTime":2050.757,"body":"I guess I'll look at his Twitter handle."},{"startTime":2050.757,"endTime":2052.967,"body":"I think. I ever knew what his real name"},{"startTime":2050.757,"endTime":2052.967,"body":"was, because."},{"startTime":2052.967,"endTime":2055.428,"body":"I was a telemarketer. Also,"},{"startTime":2052.967,"endTime":2055.428,"body":"when you're teenager and stuff."},{"startTime":2055.428,"endTime":2059.974,"body":"But we were selling long distance and"},{"startTime":2055.428,"endTime":2059.974,"body":"everybody there was like a coke addict."},{"startTime":2059.974,"endTime":2060.516,"body":"It was. Why?"},{"startTime":2060.516,"endTime":2061.392,"body":"Oh, yes,"},{"startTime":2061.392,"endTime":2065.229,"body":"because my friend was we were teenagers,"},{"startTime":2061.392,"endTime":2065.229,"body":"but she was the one experimenting"},{"startTime":2065.229,"endTime":2065.938,"body":"with stuff."},{"startTime":2065.938,"endTime":2069.317,"body":"So it was like we worked there for a week"},{"startTime":2065.938,"endTime":2069.317,"body":"and she had everybody rat it out."},{"startTime":2069.317,"endTime":2073.821,"body":"So but it was while the company changed"},{"startTime":2069.317,"endTime":2073.821,"body":"names like three times within a month,"},{"startTime":2074.03,"endTime":2074.781,"body":"I was so shady."},{"startTime":2074.781,"endTime":2077.784,"body":"Who knows if it was okay. Yeah, you were."},{"startTime":2077.784,"endTime":2080.203,"body":"So I would hang up on people"},{"startTime":2077.784,"endTime":2080.203,"body":"because I felt so bad"},{"startTime":2080.203,"endTime":2081.996,"body":"about interrupting their lives."},{"startTime":2081.996,"endTime":2085.75,"body":"So I would just immediately hang up"},{"startTime":2081.996,"endTime":2085.75,"body":"on them, which translated to low sales."},{"startTime":2085.75,"endTime":2089.295,"body":"So then they put me in like the inferior"},{"startTime":2085.75,"endTime":2089.295,"body":"market where you're calling non-English"},{"startTime":2089.295,"endTime":2094.008,"body":"speakers and I like poor people anyway,"},{"startTime":2089.295,"endTime":2094.008,"body":"that was the best because yeah, you could,"},{"startTime":2094.008,"endTime":2097.011,"body":"you couldn't take a lunch break,"},{"startTime":2094.008,"endTime":2097.011,"body":"but you could take a smoke break. Oh."},{"startTime":2097.47,"endTime":2099.263,"body":"That's so funny. Everybody was yellow."},{"startTime":2101.766,"endTime":2103.101,"body":"Did you ever have any jobs like that?"},{"startTime":2103.101,"endTime":2107.772,"body":"I did a really funny job I had was I was"},{"startTime":2103.101,"endTime":2107.772,"body":"like, No, I'm tired of being a hostess."},{"startTime":2107.772,"endTime":2108.606,"body":"I can do more."},{"startTime":2108.606,"endTime":2108.898,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2108.898,"endTime":2111.901,"body":"So I was trying"},{"startTime":2108.898,"endTime":2111.901,"body":"to, like, furlough, like my acting skills."},{"startTime":2111.901,"endTime":2116.447,"body":"So I played a fake patient"},{"startTime":2111.901,"endTime":2116.447,"body":"for medical students at Mount Sinai."},{"startTime":2116.656,"endTime":2122.328,"body":"So Destiny Alexis was a promiscuous"},{"startTime":2116.656,"endTime":2122.328,"body":"Hispanic asthmatic and had her attitude."},{"startTime":2122.328,"endTime":2126.499,"body":"And also Sarah Edelman, who was going for"},{"startTime":2122.328,"endTime":2126.499,"body":"answers about the breast cancer gene,"},{"startTime":2126.749,"endTime":2129.961,"body":"And the woman came in at the end and goes,"},{"startTime":2126.749,"endTime":2129.961,"body":"hey, let me just just a quick note."},{"startTime":2131.712,"endTime":2134.715,"body":"Yeah,"},{"startTime":2131.712,"endTime":2134.715,"body":"just we just need you to be more sad."},{"startTime":2134.924,"endTime":2136.926,"body":"The news you're getting isn't good."},{"startTime":2136.926,"endTime":2137.844,"body":"And they're like, I don't"},{"startTime":2137.844,"endTime":2140.721,"body":"I mean, if you can cry,"},{"startTime":2137.844,"endTime":2140.721,"body":"I mean, you don't have, but just. I don't."},{"startTime":2140.721,"endTime":2142.348,"body":"I don't really believe you."},{"startTime":2142.348,"endTime":2142.974,"body":"You were so. High."},{"startTime":2142.974,"endTime":2146.144,"body":"I was $16 an. Hour, and I'm getting."},{"startTime":2146.144,"endTime":2147.228,"body":"No, you can tell me."},{"startTime":2147.228,"endTime":2149.897,"body":"My parents died from, like, Lufthansa."},{"startTime":2149.897,"endTime":2151.399,"body":"And I was like, I can't cry."},{"startTime":2151.399,"endTime":2154.527,"body":"I mean, I. Can't cry. Either. I can't cry."},{"startTime":2154.527,"endTime":2159.782,"body":"And I remember feeling I mean, just being"},{"startTime":2154.527,"endTime":2159.782,"body":"so in honor of this woman, in this acting"},{"startTime":2159.782,"endTime":2163.578,"body":"class in New York, I was in gatekeeper"},{"startTime":2159.782,"endTime":2163.578,"body":"and she could cry at the drop of a hat."},{"startTime":2163.578,"endTime":2166.706,"body":"And I was like, She is so amazing."},{"startTime":2166.914,"endTime":2169.584,"body":"And I remember we became friends."},{"startTime":2169.584,"endTime":2171.377,"body":"And at that point"},{"startTime":2169.584,"endTime":2171.377,"body":"I was like in my twenties."},{"startTime":2171.377,"endTime":2173.754,"body":"And she said, Well,"},{"startTime":2171.377,"endTime":2173.754,"body":"what about your sex life?"},{"startTime":2173.754,"endTime":2177.049,"body":"And I said, I've never had an orgasm"},{"startTime":2173.754,"endTime":2177.049,"body":"because that's why you can't cry"},{"startTime":2177.258,"endTime":2179.177,"body":"and that's why you can't."},{"startTime":2177.258,"endTime":2179.177,"body":"And I was like, What?"},{"startTime":2179.177,"endTime":2182.305,"body":"And she said,"},{"startTime":2179.177,"endTime":2182.305,"body":"You had me convinced that I can't act the."},{"startTime":2182.305,"endTime":2185.057,"body":"Same, nor Desmond,"},{"startTime":2182.305,"endTime":2185.057,"body":"who is giving you, is acting like."},{"startTime":2185.057,"endTime":2187.643,"body":"This weird therapy from this place?"},{"startTime":2187.643,"endTime":2187.894,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2187.894,"endTime":2191.272,"body":"No, She had me convinced that I couldn't"},{"startTime":2187.894,"endTime":2191.272,"body":"act because I couldn't have an orgasm,"},{"startTime":2191.564,"endTime":2192.481,"body":"and I was like, Oh, that's why"},{"startTime":2192.481,"endTime":2194.984,"body":"I didn't get the wheelchair commercial,"},{"startTime":2192.481,"endTime":2194.984,"body":"because I can't go."},{"startTime":2197.236,"endTime":2197.904,"body":"She was a crier."},{"startTime":2197.904,"endTime":2199.322,"body":"I'm sorry. I don't. Know."},{"startTime":2199.322,"endTime":2203.534,"body":"People who can cry so easily, like,"},{"startTime":2199.322,"endTime":2203.534,"body":"I know there are a lot of people who can,"},{"startTime":2203.534,"endTime":2205.036,"body":"but I don't totally trust."},{"startTime":2205.036,"endTime":2206.621,"body":"It's a weird mechanism, isn't there?"},{"startTime":2206.621,"endTime":2209.624,"body":"Yeah, I think I'd have to be punched"},{"startTime":2206.621,"endTime":2209.624,"body":"in the back, right?"},{"startTime":2209.749,"endTime":2212.46,"body":"I'd have to be decapitated"},{"startTime":2209.749,"endTime":2212.46,"body":"like my liver had to be cut out."},{"startTime":2212.46,"endTime":2213.002,"body":"What's."},{"startTime":2213.002,"endTime":2215.004,"body":"What's your medical actress name? Destiny."},{"startTime":2215.004,"endTime":2217.131,"body":"Destiny. Alexis. That's good. Yeah."},{"startTime":2217.131,"endTime":2219.592,"body":"And by the way, you would see, like,"},{"startTime":2217.131,"endTime":2219.592,"body":"I'm like, Oh,"},{"startTime":2219.592,"endTime":2222.762,"body":"you're going to be an atrocious doctor,"},{"startTime":2219.592,"endTime":2222.762,"body":"like in the in the eye."},{"startTime":2223.054,"endTime":2226.307,"body":"And they do this, like, leading questions,"},{"startTime":2223.054,"endTime":2226.307,"body":"which now it actually, like,"},{"startTime":2226.307,"endTime":2228.1,"body":"I always think about it"},{"startTime":2226.307,"endTime":2228.1,"body":"because they'll be like,"},{"startTime":2228.1,"endTime":2229.644,"body":"So you don't have headaches, right?"},{"startTime":2229.644,"endTime":2232.563,"body":"Oh if they. Do, yeah."},{"startTime":2229.644,"endTime":2232.563,"body":"They prompt you. It's almost."},{"startTime":2232.563,"endTime":2235.024,"body":"Like that's leading. The witness."},{"startTime":2235.024,"endTime":2238.027,"body":"Leading the guy"},{"startTime":2235.024,"endTime":2238.027,"body":"and other ones would just be like,"},{"startTime":2238.027,"endTime":2241.364,"body":"just like really present and calm"},{"startTime":2238.027,"endTime":2241.364,"body":"and I'd be like, Can I get their number?"},{"startTime":2241.364,"endTime":2243.532,"body":"Like,"},{"startTime":2241.364,"endTime":2243.532,"body":"I actually would like a gynecologist."},{"startTime":2243.532,"endTime":2246.535,"body":"That's like when a guy says,"},{"startTime":2243.532,"endTime":2246.535,"body":"Do you like my big cock?"},{"startTime":2247.119,"endTime":2248.579,"body":"I guess, yeah."},{"startTime":2248.579,"endTime":2250.748,"body":"Do you have another one"},{"startTime":2248.579,"endTime":2250.748,"body":"that's leading to win?"},{"startTime":2250.748,"endTime":2253.167,"body":"Yeah, right. You're like,"},{"startTime":2250.748,"endTime":2253.167,"body":"I mean, it's medium."},{"startTime":2253.167,"endTime":2255.92,"body":"No running a Rite Aid for a magnum like,"},{"startTime":2253.167,"endTime":2255.92,"body":"chill out."},{"startTime":2255.92,"endTime":2257.838,"body":"Yeah, I just started looking."},{"startTime":2257.838,"endTime":2258.714,"body":"I just."},{"startTime":2258.714,"endTime":2260.383,"body":"I'll get back to you dirty talk."},{"startTime":2260.383,"endTime":2262.885,"body":"It's just all these rhetorical questions."},{"startTime":2260.383,"endTime":2262.885,"body":"That's why I need it, right?"},{"startTime":2262.885,"endTime":2264.512,"body":"I'm here. Like,"},{"startTime":2262.885,"endTime":2264.512,"body":"do you talk dirty? I'm like, I don't."},{"startTime":2264.512,"endTime":2266.722,"body":"It's like. Yeah. You're trying to bait"},{"startTime":2264.512,"endTime":2266.722,"body":"the audience, right?"},{"startTime":2266.722,"endTime":2267.974,"body":"I don't need feedback."},{"startTime":2267.974,"endTime":2269.016,"body":"I'm doing great."},{"startTime":2269.016,"endTime":2272.061,"body":"I find it confusing, self-congratulatory,"},{"startTime":2273.02,"endTime":2274.105,"body":"and also, I don't know."},{"startTime":2274.105,"endTime":2276.983,"body":"I know I feel like it's been"},{"startTime":2274.105,"endTime":2276.983,"body":"I'm authentically like."},{"startTime":2276.983,"endTime":2279.527,"body":"I like."},{"startTime":2276.983,"endTime":2279.527,"body":"I like to talk. Yeah, yeah. I just."},{"startTime":2279.527,"endTime":2279.986,"body":"I feel like."},{"startTime":2279.986,"endTime":2282.154,"body":"I mean, I feel like you would talk"},{"startTime":2279.986,"endTime":2282.154,"body":"sometimes about, like,"},{"startTime":2282.154,"endTime":2283.906,"body":"tell me what you'd want to do to a woman."},{"startTime":2283.906,"endTime":2286.242,"body":"Mm hmm. Yeah. And I'd be like, Right."},{"startTime":2286.242,"endTime":2288.202,"body":"I want to share that with you."},{"startTime":2286.242,"endTime":2288.202,"body":"It's personal."},{"startTime":2288.202,"endTime":2290.955,"body":"And I'd rather"},{"startTime":2288.202,"endTime":2290.955,"body":"you were a woman, right? Right."},{"startTime":2290.955,"endTime":2291.289,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2291.289,"endTime":2293.541,"body":"You watch porn, you're just you'd she."},{"startTime":2293.541,"endTime":2294.875,"body":"Fuck, right? Yes."},{"startTime":2294.875,"endTime":2298.546,"body":"I think I told you this story, but"},{"startTime":2294.875,"endTime":2298.546,"body":"I had sex with this woman who had a truck,"},{"startTime":2299.088,"endTime":2301.424,"body":"and we were outside outdoors."},{"startTime":2299.088,"endTime":2301.424,"body":"We were fucking in the truck, and."},{"startTime":2301.424,"endTime":2304.844,"body":"But she would only talk to me as truck."},{"startTime":2305.386,"endTime":2307.555,"body":"Oh, my name was Betsy."},{"startTime":2307.555,"endTime":2310.266,"body":"And she would say Betsy or Betsy"},{"startTime":2307.555,"endTime":2310.266,"body":"like that."},{"startTime":2310.266,"endTime":2311.726,"body":"Or Betsy once."},{"startTime":2311.726,"endTime":2313.853,"body":"You know what"},{"startTime":2311.726,"endTime":2313.853,"body":"I mean? The last woman. Say was,"},{"startTime":2315.396,"endTime":2318.899,"body":"I think it may"},{"startTime":2315.396,"endTime":2318.899,"body":"have been, but the funny thing was she was"},{"startTime":2318.899,"endTime":2320.985,"body":"she was actually super fine,"},{"startTime":2318.899,"endTime":2320.985,"body":"but she was just wild."},{"startTime":2320.985,"endTime":2322.57,"body":"It was one weird, crazy night."},{"startTime":2322.57,"endTime":2325.573,"body":"Betsy, having a gas leak going."},{"startTime":2326.324,"endTime":2328.784,"body":"Betsy knew Betsy needs a belt change."},{"startTime":2328.784,"endTime":2331.495,"body":"Betsy needs a dental dam because."},{"startTime":2331.495,"endTime":2333.164,"body":"She broke all the rules."},{"startTime":2333.164,"endTime":2335.75,"body":"It was like someone I worked with."},{"startTime":2333.164,"endTime":2335.75,"body":"It was a neighbor."},{"startTime":2335.75,"endTime":2337.043,"body":"It was all the stuff."},{"startTime":2337.043,"endTime":2339.587,"body":"She wasn't. I'm sure like,"},{"startTime":2337.043,"endTime":2339.587,"body":"I wasn't her boss or anything."},{"startTime":2339.587,"endTime":2340.504,"body":"She was just wild."},{"startTime":2340.504,"endTime":2342.59,"body":"And she had handcuffs,"},{"startTime":2340.504,"endTime":2342.59,"body":"all this great shit."},{"startTime":2342.59,"endTime":2344.717,"body":"But at the end of it,"},{"startTime":2342.59,"endTime":2344.717,"body":"right in the morning,"},{"startTime":2344.717,"endTime":2348.054,"body":"she she gave me the key to"},{"startTime":2344.717,"endTime":2348.054,"body":"the handcuffs was going to hear Keep that."},{"startTime":2348.054,"endTime":2349.972,"body":"It was like, Oh, wow, what a souvenir."},{"startTime":2348.054,"endTime":2349.972,"body":"You know what I mean?"},{"startTime":2349.972,"endTime":2351.599,"body":"And then I left"},{"startTime":2349.972,"endTime":2351.599,"body":"and on the back of her door"},{"startTime":2351.599,"endTime":2355.394,"body":"hanging was a Ziploc bag of"},{"startTime":2351.599,"endTime":2355.394,"body":"about 20 more copies of the key."},{"startTime":2355.394,"endTime":2358.606,"body":"There were more"},{"startTime":2355.394,"endTime":2358.606,"body":"identical copies of the keys."},{"startTime":2358.606,"endTime":2360.816,"body":"And that sounds like a hey,"},{"startTime":2358.606,"endTime":2360.816,"body":"nothing special."},{"startTime":2360.816,"endTime":2363.569,"body":"So it's kind of. Jewelry"},{"startTime":2360.816,"endTime":2363.569,"body":"that she's a hoarder. Yeah, I. Know."},{"startTime":2363.569,"endTime":2365.029,"body":"They have names for everything."},{"startTime":2365.029,"endTime":2367.49,"body":"I mean, like when you're in a bed,"},{"startTime":2365.029,"endTime":2367.49,"body":"would you have a name for it?"},{"startTime":2367.49,"endTime":2369.367,"body":"It was. All Betsy. It was just Betsy."},{"startTime":2369.367,"endTime":2370.993,"body":"Oh, that's always Betsy. Yeah,"},{"startTime":2370.993,"endTime":2374.83,"body":"because the sacks started in the yard"},{"startTime":2370.993,"endTime":2374.83,"body":"because we were drinking on the porch."},{"startTime":2374.83,"endTime":2375.206,"body":"That's right."},{"startTime":2375.206,"endTime":2377.416,"body":"Yeah. Yeah. So then it was like,"},{"startTime":2375.206,"endTime":2377.416,"body":"I like your truck."},{"startTime":2377.416,"endTime":2379.752,"body":"Her name is Betsy Gray,"},{"startTime":2377.416,"endTime":2379.752,"body":"and then Flash flood or whatever."},{"startTime":2379.752,"endTime":2381.629,"body":"Wow, that's crazy."},{"startTime":2381.629,"endTime":2383.839,"body":"But it was that's when I was like,"},{"startTime":2381.629,"endTime":2383.839,"body":"I'm dealing with a head case"},{"startTime":2383.839,"endTime":2387.885,"body":"because she would be like, it was like"},{"startTime":2383.839,"endTime":2387.885,"body":"I was fucking the truck and saying, Yeah."},{"startTime":2387.885,"endTime":2390.679,"body":"It's weird when you're like,"},{"startTime":2387.885,"endTime":2390.679,"body":"This person actually might be bonkers."},{"startTime":2390.679,"endTime":2392.264,"body":"The sex isn't worth it. Yeah."},{"startTime":2392.264,"endTime":2393.849,"body":"That's a guy named Matthew I found."},{"startTime":2393.849,"endTime":2395.935,"body":"I changed his name to seven, okay?"},{"startTime":2395.935,"endTime":2398.312,"body":"And I was like,"},{"startTime":2395.935,"endTime":2398.312,"body":"whatever. And I. I'm not surprised."},{"startTime":2398.312,"endTime":2402.066,"body":"I know what you are"},{"startTime":2398.312,"endTime":2402.066,"body":"such a loose cannon, weirdo."},{"startTime":2402.316,"endTime":2403.651,"body":"I That's the best evolution."},{"startTime":2403.651,"endTime":2405.736,"body":"And seeing what happened to the people"},{"startTime":2403.651,"endTime":2405.736,"body":"you had sex with, right?"},{"startTime":2405.736,"endTime":2409.156,"body":"Living long enough that it's, like, 20"},{"startTime":2405.736,"endTime":2409.156,"body":"years later, you're like, Oh, my God, I."},{"startTime":2409.156,"endTime":2412.618,"body":"Just found out"},{"startTime":2409.156,"endTime":2412.618,"body":"someone died of natural causes."},{"startTime":2412.618,"endTime":2415.204,"body":"And I'm like, Then I'm getting old. Yes."},{"startTime":2412.618,"endTime":2415.204,"body":"Oh, wow."},{"startTime":2415.204,"endTime":2417.373,"body":"He just died."},{"startTime":2417.373,"endTime":2419.875,"body":"And I'm like, John Hoffman. Mm hmm."},{"startTime":2419.875,"endTime":2423.921,"body":"So someone it was"},{"startTime":2419.875,"endTime":2423.921,"body":"not to the life of I'm not, you know."},{"startTime":2424.088,"endTime":2425.673,"body":"Yeah. I mean, to death as. A celebration."},{"startTime":2425.673,"endTime":2427.758,"body":"Did have a life size Gumby"},{"startTime":2425.673,"endTime":2427.758,"body":"in the corner of his room."},{"startTime":2427.758,"endTime":2430.261,"body":"Oh, my. God. While you were fucking."},{"startTime":2430.261,"endTime":2431.303,"body":"I would see the Gumby"},{"startTime":2431.303,"endTime":2435.766,"body":"wash shaved cock, totally shaved and Gumby"},{"startTime":2431.303,"endTime":2435.766,"body":"and all these things."},{"startTime":2436.1,"endTime":2437.977,"body":"You're not worth me."},{"startTime":2436.1,"endTime":2437.977,"body":"Getting on the five was."},{"startTime":2437.977,"endTime":2440.646,"body":"Gumby, like, super. Hairy. I'm like,"},{"startTime":2437.977,"endTime":2440.646,"body":"I was in a romper."},{"startTime":2440.646,"endTime":2441.689,"body":"I was like, What do you."},{"startTime":2441.689,"endTime":2442.815,"body":"He's yielding."},{"startTime":2442.815,"endTime":2445.317,"body":"I told you about the."},{"startTime":2442.815,"endTime":2445.317,"body":"The animation. Person."},{"startTime":2445.317,"endTime":2446.402,"body":"My favorite story you've ever."},{"startTime":2446.402,"endTime":2447.862,"body":"Told me I was."},{"startTime":2447.862,"endTime":2450.156,"body":"I'm not going to say where it is."},{"startTime":2450.156,"endTime":2450.99,"body":"I was."},{"startTime":2450.99,"endTime":2452.032,"body":"I was just thinking about."},{"startTime":2452.032,"endTime":2454.952,"body":"I was doing stand up and then I guess"},{"startTime":2452.032,"endTime":2454.952,"body":"it was, you know, booty call."},{"startTime":2454.952,"endTime":2459.457,"body":"And I thought I was in the wrong place"},{"startTime":2454.952,"endTime":2459.457,"body":"because I saw the backs"},{"startTime":2459.457,"endTime":2461.0,"body":"of two people in the window."},{"startTime":2461.0,"endTime":2461.459,"body":"And I was like,"},{"startTime":2461.459,"endTime":2465.754,"body":"as I got up to the second floor"},{"startTime":2461.459,"endTime":2465.754,"body":"and then I fell backwards down the steps."},{"startTime":2465.754,"endTime":2468.382,"body":"God damn, I know all I do."},{"startTime":2468.382,"endTime":2472.094,"body":"That's like becoming like foreplay for me"},{"startTime":2468.382,"endTime":2472.094,"body":"falling."},{"startTime":2472.511,"endTime":2475.514,"body":"And by the time,"},{"startTime":2472.511,"endTime":2475.514,"body":"unless I fall down the stairs."},{"startTime":2475.514,"endTime":2478.017,"body":"I hurt myself down the staircase."},{"startTime":2478.017,"endTime":2480.06,"body":"Then you can come on my. Face, right?"},{"startTime":2481.187,"endTime":2483.063,"body":"No wonder you've never had an orgasm."},{"startTime":2483.063,"endTime":2486.066,"body":"You've never been in like a fire drill or"},{"startTime":2488.402,"endTime":2490.863,"body":"run mine."},{"startTime":2490.863,"endTime":2491.864,"body":"But it was so crazy."},{"startTime":2491.864,"endTime":2493.449,"body":"So I got in there."},{"startTime":2493.449,"endTime":2495.075,"body":"Well, first of all,"},{"startTime":2493.449,"endTime":2495.075,"body":"he looked out the window"},{"startTime":2495.075,"endTime":2498.078,"body":"and saw me fall down the stairs backwards."},{"startTime":2495.075,"endTime":2498.078,"body":"And then he goes, Are you."},{"startTime":2498.078,"endTime":2500.456,"body":"Are you all right?"},{"startTime":2498.078,"endTime":2500.456,"body":"And I said, Yes, I'm all right."},{"startTime":2500.456,"endTime":2502.625,"body":"And I said, Well,"},{"startTime":2500.456,"endTime":2502.625,"body":"I thought maybe it was the wrong place."},{"startTime":2502.625,"endTime":2504.919,"body":"And he said, Why? And I said,"},{"startTime":2502.625,"endTime":2504.919,"body":"Because of the people in the Senate."},{"startTime":2504.919,"endTime":2505.669,"body":"No people."},{"startTime":2505.669,"endTime":2506.795,"body":"Anyway, get in there."},{"startTime":2506.795,"endTime":2509.006,"body":"And he and his life size."},{"startTime":2509.006,"endTime":2511.8,"body":"Count"},{"startTime":2509.006,"endTime":2511.8,"body":"Dracula, count from Sesame Street count."},{"startTime":2511.8,"endTime":2514.512,"body":"Oh, the count. Yeah."},{"startTime":2514.512,"endTime":2514.845,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2514.845,"endTime":2517.389,"body":"And Miss Piggy sitting together. Look."},{"startTime":2517.389,"endTime":2518.599,"body":"But they're life size."},{"startTime":2518.599,"endTime":2520.726,"body":"And my friend Dave was teasing me."},{"startTime":2520.726,"endTime":2525.439,"body":"I'm going to fuck you one"},{"startTime":2520.726,"endTime":2525.439,"body":"time to three times the count counting."},{"startTime":2525.439,"endTime":2527.483,"body":"And I was like, Oh, my God."},{"startTime":2527.483,"endTime":2530.861,"body":"But remember when the count"},{"startTime":2527.483,"endTime":2530.861,"body":"got to his number, he would climax."},{"startTime":2530.861,"endTime":2533.572,"body":"There's lightning and thunder, right?"},{"startTime":2530.861,"endTime":2533.572,"body":"Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":2533.572,"endTime":2535.824,"body":"He would get to like eight"},{"startTime":2533.572,"endTime":2535.824,"body":"would be the number of the day."},{"startTime":2535.824,"endTime":2536.992,"body":"Be like eight."},{"startTime":2538.077,"endTime":2538.953,"body":"Oh I."},{"startTime":2538.953,"endTime":2540.829,"body":"St unpack. Yeah. And then he was."},{"startTime":2540.829,"endTime":2542.206,"body":"I never thought about that."},{"startTime":2542.206,"endTime":2543.541,"body":"He was."},{"startTime":2543.541,"endTime":2546.168,"body":"So why you. Are so. Smart. Yeah, that's."},{"startTime":2546.168,"endTime":2547.294,"body":"Why. Mags, wait."},{"startTime":2547.294,"endTime":2552.091,"body":"Daniel, as a Wikipedia, of all things"},{"startTime":2547.294,"endTime":2552.091,"body":"TV and film, did you?"},{"startTime":2552.091,"endTime":2554.593,"body":"Well, you're blowing my mind with me."},{"startTime":2552.091,"endTime":2554.593,"body":"Yeah. Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":2554.593,"endTime":2555.594,"body":"I mean, literally."},{"startTime":2555.594,"endTime":2557.388,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":2555.594,"endTime":2557.388,"body":"I'm not going to be the same after I."},{"startTime":2557.388,"endTime":2558.639,"body":"No, I want to hear."},{"startTime":2558.639,"endTime":2561.225,"body":"It's like saying Snuffleupagus"},{"startTime":2558.639,"endTime":2561.225,"body":"wasn't here."},{"startTime":2561.225,"endTime":2562.268,"body":"Right? Oh, wait a minute."},{"startTime":2562.268,"endTime":2564.27,"body":"Well, yeah, well, he's a fucking metaphor."},{"startTime":2564.27,"endTime":2566.939,"body":"Hello? Yeah. Yeah, or what? Well."},{"startTime":2566.939,"endTime":2568.691,"body":"He was on board, but."},{"startTime":2568.691,"endTime":2570.025,"body":"Well, for his huge trunk."},{"startTime":2570.025,"endTime":2570.859,"body":"Let's start with that."},{"startTime":2570.859,"endTime":2573.195,"body":"Oh, but he always hung out with Big Bird."},{"startTime":2573.195,"endTime":2574.446,"body":"Because he's Big birds."},{"startTime":2574.446,"endTime":2579.076,"body":"Imaginary friend, i.e., his closeted"},{"startTime":2574.446,"endTime":2579.076,"body":"gay Hello."},{"startTime":2579.201,"endTime":2581.328,"body":"Oh, you're"},{"startTime":2581.328,"endTime":2583.664,"body":"not the words non-binary big birds."},{"startTime":2583.664,"endTime":2585.708,"body":"Gay he way. He's"},{"startTime":2583.664,"endTime":2585.708,"body":"non-binary. Yeah, I'm. Kidding. I"},{"startTime":2586.875,"endTime":2587.918,"body":"hate this century."},{"startTime":2587.918,"endTime":2589.545,"body":"Thank you. Thank you, Thank you."},{"startTime":2589.545,"endTime":2589.795,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2589.795,"endTime":2594.508,"body":"Big Bird is closeted,"},{"startTime":2589.795,"endTime":2594.508,"body":"and that's why Snuffy, he's imaginary."},{"startTime":2594.8,"endTime":2595.968,"body":"The only person can see Snuffy is."},{"startTime":2595.968,"endTime":2598.971,"body":"Big Bird"},{"startTime":2601.849,"endTime":2603.767,"body":"because of okay,"},{"startTime":2601.849,"endTime":2603.767,"body":"what we thought would happen."},{"startTime":2603.767,"endTime":2609.773,"body":"One of the topics that I'm really kind of"},{"startTime":2603.767,"endTime":2609.773,"body":"fascinated with is patents, TNT patents."},{"startTime":2609.773,"endTime":2611.692,"body":"It didn't were patents that did work."},{"startTime":2611.692,"endTime":2614.695,"body":"And this I wanted to share it's"},{"startTime":2615.362,"endTime":2619.074,"body":"it's called the electrical bed"},{"startTime":2615.362,"endTime":2619.074,"body":"bug x2 Dominator patent."},{"startTime":2619.074,"endTime":2621.827,"body":"It was a patent that was made in 1898."},{"startTime":2621.827,"endTime":2622.995,"body":"And I'll just read this real quick."},{"startTime":2622.995,"endTime":2626.123,"body":"This invention"},{"startTime":2622.995,"endTime":2626.123,"body":"relates to bedbug exterminators"},{"startTime":2626.123,"endTime":2630.919,"body":"and it consists of electrical devices"},{"startTime":2626.123,"endTime":2630.919,"body":"is applied to bed studs in such a manner"},{"startTime":2630.919,"endTime":2634.089,"body":"that currents of electricity will be sent"},{"startTime":2630.919,"endTime":2634.089,"body":"through the bodies of the bugs,"},{"startTime":2634.256,"endTime":2636.8,"body":"which will either kill them"},{"startTime":2634.256,"endTime":2636.8,"body":"or startle them."},{"startTime":2636.8,"endTime":2639.553,"body":"So they will leave the bedstead."},{"startTime":2639.553,"endTime":2643.182,"body":"The electrical devices"},{"startTime":2639.553,"endTime":2643.182,"body":"used consist of a battery induction"},{"startTime":2643.182,"endTime":2647.311,"body":"coil, a switch and a number of circuits"},{"startTime":2643.182,"endTime":2647.311,"body":"leading to various locations on the bed."},{"startTime":2647.311,"endTime":2648.771,"body":"Now, what could possibly go wrong?"},{"startTime":2650.272,"endTime":2651.231,"body":"I mean, that's amazing."},{"startTime":2651.231,"endTime":2652.9,"body":"Fascinating. Yes."},{"startTime":2652.9,"endTime":2653.275,"body":"Hopefully."},{"startTime":2653.275,"endTime":2656.153,"body":"Like,"},{"startTime":2653.275,"endTime":2656.153,"body":"can you clamp it to your nipples? Yeah."},{"startTime":2656.153,"endTime":2657.279,"body":"Turn this into a breeze."},{"startTime":2657.279,"endTime":2658.781,"body":"There's an electric ocean."},{"startTime":2658.781,"endTime":2660.366,"body":"Did you see that? Oh, my God."},{"startTime":2660.366,"endTime":2662.91,"body":"There's a dead body."},{"startTime":2660.366,"endTime":2662.91,"body":"That's a different one. This is the."},{"startTime":2662.91,"endTime":2665.579,"body":"This is the improved burial case."},{"startTime":2665.579,"endTime":2667.164,"body":"What the fuck? Yeah. Okay."},{"startTime":2667.164,"endTime":2670.459,"body":"The nature of this invention consists"},{"startTime":2667.164,"endTime":2670.459,"body":"in placing of the lid of the coffin"},{"startTime":2670.459,"endTime":2672.586,"body":"and directly over the face,"},{"startTime":2670.459,"endTime":2672.586,"body":"the body laid in there."},{"startTime":2672.586,"endTime":2675.881,"body":"And God, this language, a square tube"},{"startTime":2672.586,"endTime":2675.881,"body":"which extends the coffin."},{"startTime":2675.881,"endTime":2676.882,"body":"What is the point?"},{"startTime":2676.882,"endTime":2679.885,"body":"Because a lot of people were buried alive"},{"startTime":2676.882,"endTime":2679.885,"body":"back then by."},{"startTime":2679.927,"endTime":2682.388,"body":"Oh, my. God. Yes. What?"},{"startTime":2682.388,"endTime":2683.138,"body":"What do you mean?"},{"startTime":2683.138,"endTime":2686.475,"body":"Should a person be interned"},{"startTime":2683.138,"endTime":2686.475,"body":"before they die?"},{"startTime":2686.475,"endTime":2689.978,"body":"He can on recovery to consciousness,"},{"startTime":2686.475,"endTime":2689.978,"body":"ascend"},{"startTime":2689.978,"endTime":2692.981,"body":"from the grave"},{"startTime":2689.978,"endTime":2692.981,"body":"and the coffin by the a ladder."},{"startTime":2693.065,"endTime":2696.443,"body":"And if they can't ascend to the ladder"},{"startTime":2693.065,"endTime":2696.443,"body":"as illustrated in the photo,"},{"startTime":2696.652,"endTime":2699.655,"body":"they can ring"},{"startTime":2696.652,"endTime":2699.655,"body":"the bell, thereby giving alarm"},{"startTime":2699.655,"endTime":2702.658,"body":"and thus save himself from premature"},{"startTime":2699.655,"endTime":2702.658,"body":"burial and death."},{"startTime":2702.95,"endTime":2703.617,"body":"Fantastic."},{"startTime":2703.617,"endTime":2705.411,"body":"How much of a problem was that?"},{"startTime":2705.411,"endTime":2707.663,"body":"I know what the ubiquitous it was."},{"startTime":2707.663,"endTime":2710.666,"body":"It they used to have bells near"},{"startTime":2710.708,"endTime":2714.294,"body":"where a person was buried"},{"startTime":2710.708,"endTime":2714.294,"body":"so that they could like ring a bell."},{"startTime":2714.294,"endTime":2719.216,"body":"If they could, like, dig themselves out,"},{"startTime":2714.294,"endTime":2719.216,"body":"they'd ring the bell like the fog, maybe."},{"startTime":2719.216,"endTime":2721.468,"body":"What if you couldn't hear the bell?"},{"startTime":2719.216,"endTime":2721.468,"body":"I don't know."},{"startTime":2721.468,"endTime":2723.679,"body":"If you couldn't afford a bell. Ha!"},{"startTime":2723.679,"endTime":2726.014,"body":"What if the bell stopped"},{"startTime":2723.679,"endTime":2726.014,"body":"working? Oh, my God."},{"startTime":2726.014,"endTime":2729.56,"body":"Okay, but seriously, like,"},{"startTime":2726.014,"endTime":2729.56,"body":"why couldn't they just wait one more day"},{"startTime":2729.768,"endTime":2730.728,"body":"before they should do?"},{"startTime":2730.728,"endTime":2733.188,"body":"I don't know. I guess back"},{"startTime":2730.728,"endTime":2733.188,"body":"then, like that was in the 1800s, the."},{"startTime":2733.188,"endTime":2737.693,"body":"Body taking up so much space,"},{"startTime":2733.188,"endTime":2737.693,"body":"they couldn't just, like, Hang on to it."},{"startTime":2737.818,"endTime":2739.903,"body":"There was that news story"},{"startTime":2737.818,"endTime":2739.903,"body":"just recently of. Right."},{"startTime":2739.903,"endTime":2741.113,"body":"The Lady. It was in a different country."},{"startTime":2741.113,"endTime":2743.741,"body":"But she they were at her funeral"},{"startTime":2741.113,"endTime":2743.741,"body":"and she was knocking on the coffin"},{"startTime":2743.741,"endTime":2746.66,"body":"and they opened up"},{"startTime":2743.741,"endTime":2746.66,"body":"and she crawled out. Yes. Yes. Yeah."},{"startTime":2746.66,"endTime":2749.538,"body":"But then the bitch died like seven days"},{"startTime":2746.66,"endTime":2749.538,"body":"later, right? Yeah."},{"startTime":2749.538,"endTime":2750.706,"body":"I'm like, well, what's the point?"},{"startTime":2750.706,"endTime":2753.041,"body":"Right?"},{"startTime":2750.706,"endTime":2753.041,"body":"I hope she maximizes those seven days."},{"startTime":2753.041,"endTime":2755.627,"body":"No, she just watch"},{"startTime":2753.041,"endTime":2755.627,"body":"like the Love Boat again."},{"startTime":2755.627,"endTime":2758.088,"body":"She felt like she found the last hours."},{"startTime":2758.088,"endTime":2758.964,"body":"This is fascinating."},{"startTime":2758.964,"endTime":2762.676,"body":"If I could method all over again,"},{"startTime":2758.964,"endTime":2762.676,"body":"I would do it with Captain Stubing."},{"startTime":2762.885,"endTime":2763.51,"body":"Right?"},{"startTime":2763.51,"endTime":2764.97,"body":"He was. And Vicki?"},{"startTime":2764.97,"endTime":2767.097,"body":"Well, Vicki gave that. Oh."},{"startTime":2764.97,"endTime":2767.097,"body":"She was so cute."},{"startTime":2767.097,"endTime":2767.931,"body":"Wasn't she adorable."},{"startTime":2767.931,"endTime":2768.974,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":2768.974,"endTime":2771.852,"body":"Method of preserving the dead."},{"startTime":2771.852,"endTime":2774.813,"body":"And it's just how to keep the dead body"},{"startTime":2771.852,"endTime":2774.813,"body":"like maintained."},{"startTime":2774.813,"endTime":2777.566,"body":"And you'll know they're just ahead"},{"startTime":2774.813,"endTime":2777.566,"body":"a box. Wow."},{"startTime":2777.566,"endTime":2779.234,"body":"But you're supposed to fill it with water."},{"startTime":2779.234,"endTime":2782.154,"body":"I think that's a hair treatment."},{"startTime":2779.234,"endTime":2782.154,"body":"I used to get the straight men."},{"startTime":2782.154,"endTime":2783.614,"body":"And because Larry would be like, you know,"},{"startTime":2783.614,"endTime":2785.991,"body":"that's the"},{"startTime":2783.614,"endTime":2785.991,"body":"the chemicals they use on dead people."},{"startTime":2785.991,"endTime":2788.16,"body":"Oh, well, it it was it would straighten."},{"startTime":2788.16,"endTime":2790.788,"body":"And when I would,"},{"startTime":2788.16,"endTime":2790.788,"body":"you know, being like my own,"},{"startTime":2790.788,"endTime":2794.374,"body":"like anti-Semitic beauty tirade,"},{"startTime":2790.788,"endTime":2794.374,"body":"it was like, let's take the curls out."},{"startTime":2794.541,"endTime":2796.001,"body":"So it's like an embalming fluid."},{"startTime":2796.001,"endTime":2797.377,"body":"Yes, exactly."},{"startTime":2797.377,"endTime":2798.045,"body":"We used it."},{"startTime":2798.045,"endTime":2800.005,"body":"My friend"},{"startTime":2798.045,"endTime":2800.005,"body":"Art and I were trying to think of themes"},{"startTime":2800.005,"endTime":2804.051,"body":"for, like, a really fun funeral parlor"},{"startTime":2800.005,"endTime":2804.051,"body":"and was like, Come get bombed at the mall."},{"startTime":2806.136,"endTime":2806.553,"body":"Adorable."},{"startTime":2806.553,"endTime":2808.972,"body":"Yeah. Like, your body is somebody to us."},{"startTime":2808.972,"endTime":2810.724,"body":"Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":2810.724,"endTime":2813.56,"body":"Daniel, that's crushing me again."},{"startTime":2813.56,"endTime":2815.27,"body":"To make it fun. I forgot. The other."},{"startTime":2815.27,"endTime":2815.979,"body":"It was good, though."},{"startTime":2815.979,"endTime":2819.107,"body":"Okay, I don't want to out you,"},{"startTime":2815.979,"endTime":2819.107,"body":"but I just saw your cell"},{"startTime":2819.107,"endTime":2822.152,"body":"phone case,"},{"startTime":2819.107,"endTime":2822.152,"body":"and I think it has mouse ears on. Yes."},{"startTime":2822.194,"endTime":2824.238,"body":"Are they Mickey Mouse ears? Maybe."},{"startTime":2824.238,"endTime":2825.656,"body":"Are they Disney?"},{"startTime":2825.656,"endTime":2829.576,"body":"Well, all I think just general glittery"},{"startTime":2825.656,"endTime":2829.576,"body":"mouse ears."},{"startTime":2829.576,"endTime":2831.703,"body":"Okay. Are you a Disney person? No."},{"startTime":2831.703,"endTime":2832.496,"body":"Oh, you're not."},{"startTime":2832.496,"endTime":2837.543,"body":"I taking my ungrateful kid Robo eating"},{"startTime":2832.496,"endTime":2837.543,"body":"and she's like, this sucks."},{"startTime":2837.709,"endTime":2839.711,"body":"Like, get me off this fucking boat."},{"startTime":2839.711,"endTime":2841.63,"body":"So I'm like,"},{"startTime":2839.711,"endTime":2841.63,"body":"That's funny. Bait and switch."},{"startTime":2841.63,"endTime":2844.466,"body":"So I was like, Let's go to Koreatown"},{"startTime":2841.63,"endTime":2844.466,"body":"and just buy shit. Yeah."},{"startTime":2844.466,"endTime":2846.885,"body":"So it was one of our best afternoons."},{"startTime":2844.466,"endTime":2846.885,"body":"Absolutely."},{"startTime":2846.885,"endTime":2849.555,"body":"She's like, Mommy,"},{"startTime":2846.885,"endTime":2849.555,"body":"I think you should have this case."},{"startTime":2849.555,"endTime":2851.765,"body":"So everyone, it's"},{"startTime":2849.555,"endTime":2851.765,"body":"a real conversation starter."},{"startTime":2853.559,"endTime":2854.101,"body":"You like it?"},{"startTime":2854.101,"endTime":2856.687,"body":"I thought that was cute too."},{"startTime":2854.101,"endTime":2856.687,"body":"I noticed that. So you're not."},{"startTime":2856.687,"endTime":2857.563,"body":"We should. All go."},{"startTime":2857.563,"endTime":2858.48,"body":"A Disney fan."},{"startTime":2858.48,"endTime":2861.358,"body":"You're just culturally appropriate."},{"startTime":2858.48,"endTime":2861.358,"body":"A Korean."},{"startTime":2861.358,"endTime":2864.444,"body":"I I'm just a glitter person"},{"startTime":2861.358,"endTime":2864.444,"body":"as the my stripper today."},{"startTime":2864.444,"endTime":2867.364,"body":"Well I live in Chi-Town"},{"startTime":2864.444,"endTime":2867.364,"body":"and I'm just above town"},{"startTime":2867.364,"endTime":2870.409,"body":"and did you go to the mall where they have"},{"startTime":2867.364,"endTime":2870.409,"body":"like the disco show and all that stuff."},{"startTime":2870.576,"endTime":2872.452,"body":"So we have to go. They have an arcade."},{"startTime":2872.452,"endTime":2874.162,"body":"I love it. Yes."},{"startTime":2874.162,"endTime":2875.664,"body":"And there's a bar in the arcade."},{"startTime":2875.664,"endTime":2878.0,"body":"No way. And a bowling alley"},{"startTime":2875.664,"endTime":2878.0,"body":"and a karaoke place."},{"startTime":2878.0,"endTime":2881.003,"body":"I'm obsessed with arcades."},{"startTime":2878.0,"endTime":2881.003,"body":"I mean, not too."},{"startTime":2881.003,"endTime":2882.004,"body":"I have the highest score."},{"startTime":2882.004,"endTime":2884.84,"body":"The temporary hair salon in Pac-Man."},{"startTime":2882.004,"endTime":2884.84,"body":"Thank you."},{"startTime":2884.84,"endTime":2887.718,"body":"What the good Lord. Well,"},{"startTime":2884.84,"endTime":2887.718,"body":"you can cut that part out."},{"startTime":2887.718,"endTime":2889.845,"body":"No, no."},{"startTime":2889.845,"endTime":2891.805,"body":"What's your go to? What's your"},{"startTime":2889.845,"endTime":2891.805,"body":"what do you."},{"startTime":2891.805,"endTime":2894.808,"body":"I mean, in Pac-Man"},{"startTime":2891.805,"endTime":2894.808,"body":"that's going on, my bio,"},{"startTime":2895.017,"endTime":2897.519,"body":"my I mean, I think I had 7000."},{"startTime":2897.519,"endTime":2899.688,"body":"I mean. Yeah, that's."},{"startTime":2899.688,"endTime":2900.188,"body":"What I mean."},{"startTime":2900.188,"endTime":2902.524,"body":"What's"},{"startTime":2900.188,"endTime":2902.524,"body":"what do you like to play at the mine."},{"startTime":2902.524,"endTime":2904.026,"body":"Oh I just anything racing."},{"startTime":2904.026,"endTime":2907.529,"body":"Oh I did the Fast and the Furious"},{"startTime":2904.026,"endTime":2907.529,"body":"and they have a malibu edition"},{"startTime":2907.863,"endTime":2909.197,"body":"and I killed like 100 people."},{"startTime":2909.197,"endTime":2911.325,"body":"I was never on the road. Yeah. How?"},{"startTime":2911.325,"endTime":2913.035,"body":"But the best thing about next time"},{"startTime":2913.035,"endTime":2916.038,"body":"you go with your daughter,"},{"startTime":2913.035,"endTime":2916.038,"body":"Do you ever have Korean shaved ice? No."},{"startTime":2916.079,"endTime":2918.457,"body":"Have you ever had it?"},{"startTime":2916.079,"endTime":2918.457,"body":"But she loves. Holy shit."},{"startTime":2918.457,"endTime":2921.168,"body":"So that's what it is."},{"startTime":2918.457,"endTime":2921.168,"body":"It's like, well, you pick your flavor."},{"startTime":2921.168,"endTime":2923.67,"body":"You can be strawberry mango,"},{"startTime":2921.168,"endTime":2923.67,"body":"like I chocolate kind of stuff."},{"startTime":2923.67,"endTime":2927.549,"body":"So it's that on ice,"},{"startTime":2923.67,"endTime":2927.549,"body":"which sounds super gross."},{"startTime":2927.591,"endTime":2930.594,"body":"No, no, it is amazing."},{"startTime":2927.591,"endTime":2930.594,"body":"It sounds delicious."},{"startTime":2930.844,"endTime":2932.846,"body":"They're just Korean championship."},{"startTime":2932.846,"endTime":2933.805,"body":"Okay, Fucking delicious."},{"startTime":2933.805,"endTime":2936.266,"body":"Thank Or so mi so mi, which is ice cream."},{"startTime":2936.266,"endTime":2939.269,"body":"And then they shove"},{"startTime":2936.266,"endTime":2939.269,"body":"a fish shaped cookie in it,"},{"startTime":2939.311,"endTime":2941.98,"body":"and you're supposed to eat it"},{"startTime":2939.311,"endTime":2941.98,"body":"with the fish. Oh."},{"startTime":2941.98,"endTime":2943.774,"body":"Yeah. So me."},{"startTime":2943.774,"endTime":2944.9,"body":"That's what I said."},{"startTime":2944.9,"endTime":2947.444,"body":"Thank you. So tell me. Tell me. So"},{"startTime":2948.528,"endTime":2950.656,"body":"I said that you have."},{"startTime":2950.656,"endTime":2954.618,"body":"I need a drink to bear"},{"startTime":2950.656,"endTime":2954.618,"body":"any more of these puns?"},{"startTime":2954.952,"endTime":2957.955,"body":"Amaretto saw a round of Amaretto sours."},{"startTime":2958.246,"endTime":2960.457,"body":"You guys,"},{"startTime":2958.246,"endTime":2960.457,"body":"because we were talking about artists"},{"startTime":2960.457,"endTime":2962.417,"body":"earlier"},{"startTime":2960.457,"endTime":2962.417,"body":"and how people are philanthropists."},{"startTime":2962.417,"endTime":2966.38,"body":"There is an amazing organization"},{"startTime":2962.417,"endTime":2966.38,"body":"and it's need"},{"startTime":2966.38,"endTime":2970.55,"body":"which stands for nurturing Independence"},{"startTime":2966.38,"endTime":2970.55,"body":"through artists development."},{"startTime":2970.759,"endTime":2972.886,"body":"And you can buy amazing art."},{"startTime":2972.886,"endTime":2976.39,"body":"Nyad Art Dawg, I bought a lot of paintings"},{"startTime":2976.39,"endTime":2979.601,"body":"and a few sketches,"},{"startTime":2976.39,"endTime":2979.601,"body":"a little sculpture from them and."},{"startTime":2979.601,"endTime":2983.73,"body":"You're helping disabled artists"},{"startTime":2979.601,"endTime":2983.73,"body":"and also you have a piece of art."},{"startTime":2983.73,"endTime":2985.107,"body":"You have great taste in art."},{"startTime":2985.107,"endTime":2987.025,"body":"We're really do."},{"startTime":2985.107,"endTime":2987.025,"body":"We're in Laura's house. Yeah."},{"startTime":2987.025,"endTime":2990.07,"body":"Every room. Is exquisite. Festooned."},{"startTime":2987.025,"endTime":2990.07,"body":"I know."},{"startTime":2990.112,"endTime":2993.115,"body":"Yeah, well,"},{"startTime":2990.112,"endTime":2993.115,"body":"that has a lot to do with Nyad."},{"startTime":2994.408,"endTime":2995.617,"body":"Nyad archive."},{"startTime":2995.617,"endTime":2996.618,"body":"God damn Cigarets."},{"startTime":2996.618,"endTime":2997.911,"body":"Yeah, you are. You will."},{"startTime":2997.911,"endTime":2999.788,"body":"You know, it's a great organization."},{"startTime":2999.788,"endTime":3002.374,"body":"Yeah. Paints too. I paint."},{"startTime":2999.788,"endTime":3002.374,"body":"Are you artistic?"},{"startTime":3002.374,"endTime":3003.25,"body":"I don't pay."},{"startTime":3003.25,"endTime":3006.253,"body":"I mean, hello. Oh, yeah. Well. I."},{"startTime":3006.586,"endTime":3008.046,"body":"I mean, I collect stickers."},{"startTime":3008.046,"endTime":3009.631,"body":"That's how you do."},{"startTime":3009.631,"endTime":3012.592,"body":"I do. Got a sticker. Planet group. No."},{"startTime":3012.592,"endTime":3013.719,"body":"That's a thing. Sticker."},{"startTime":3013.719,"endTime":3017.222,"body":"So it's in the pocket of my Jacket Cajuns"},{"startTime":3013.719,"endTime":3017.222,"body":"podcast."},{"startTime":3017.222,"endTime":3017.681,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3017.681,"endTime":3020.017,"body":"And I'm so obsessed with stickers,"},{"startTime":3017.681,"endTime":3020.017,"body":"I go But Jacki,"},{"startTime":3020.017,"endTime":3023.02,"body":"somebody else has done stickers,"},{"startTime":3020.017,"endTime":3023.02,"body":"and she's like, Are you insane?"},{"startTime":3023.603,"endTime":3026.106,"body":"And she was like,"},{"startTime":3023.603,"endTime":3026.106,"body":"Can you save it for the podcast?"},{"startTime":3026.106,"endTime":3028.025,"body":"Nobody as an stickers."},{"startTime":3028.025,"endTime":3028.692,"body":"Yeah, No, no."},{"startTime":3028.692,"endTime":3030.402,"body":"I have a bunch from the eighties."},{"startTime":3028.692,"endTime":3030.402,"body":"Yeah, me too."},{"startTime":3030.402,"endTime":3033.739,"body":"Like, you remember, like the Troll"},{"startTime":3030.402,"endTime":3033.739,"body":"and Scholastic's school books. Yes."},{"startTime":3033.739,"endTime":3036.7,"body":"And you could just order stickers."},{"startTime":3033.739,"endTime":3036.7,"body":"Yeah, I have a bunch of those."},{"startTime":3036.7,"endTime":3038.952,"body":"I have zoo Zoo stickers. Oh, my God."},{"startTime":3038.952,"endTime":3041.83,"body":"I know my mom. Scratch, sniff, puppy dog."},{"startTime":3041.83,"endTime":3044.499,"body":"My mom put stickers"},{"startTime":3041.83,"endTime":3044.499,"body":"all over everything for me today."},{"startTime":3044.499,"endTime":3046.626,"body":"And every little cats and little dog."},{"startTime":3046.626,"endTime":3048.378,"body":"I can't send a letter"},{"startTime":3046.626,"endTime":3048.378,"body":"without a sticker on it."},{"startTime":3048.378,"endTime":3050.047,"body":"So it was hard to go back to it."},{"startTime":3048.378,"endTime":3050.047,"body":"But have you been to die?"},{"startTime":3050.047,"endTime":3052.174,"body":"So the Japanese dollar store? Yeah."},{"startTime":3052.174,"endTime":3053.925,"body":"Well, first. Of all, that's"},{"startTime":3052.174,"endTime":3053.925,"body":"perfect place to."},{"startTime":3053.925,"endTime":3055.177,"body":"Go. It's so fun."},{"startTime":3055.177,"endTime":3057.804,"body":"But it's not a dollar."},{"startTime":3055.177,"endTime":3057.804,"body":"Everything is a dollar. 75, of course."},{"startTime":3057.804,"endTime":3060.057,"body":"But have you seen their stickers there?"},{"startTime":3060.057,"endTime":3062.601,"body":"So you do. Oh."},{"startTime":3062.601,"endTime":3064.061,"body":"Do you have to go?"},{"startTime":3064.061,"endTime":3067.773,"body":"I all I want is a puffy sticker"},{"startTime":3064.061,"endTime":3067.773,"body":"and just a working drummer."},{"startTime":3067.773,"endTime":3068.523,"body":"Boyfriend. So they're"},{"startTime":3069.816,"endTime":3071.318,"body":"like, Oh, that's"},{"startTime":3071.318,"endTime":3074.029,"body":"what does every drummer say"},{"startTime":3071.318,"endTime":3074.029,"body":"to his girlfriend in the morning?"},{"startTime":3074.029,"endTime":3075.781,"body":"Thanks for the ride."},{"startTime":3074.029,"endTime":3075.781,"body":"I'll see you after work."},{"startTime":3075.781,"endTime":3079.117,"body":"How are this morning?"},{"startTime":3079.409,"endTime":3080.327,"body":"That's all."},{"startTime":3080.327,"endTime":3081.578,"body":"I love that time."},{"startTime":3081.578,"endTime":3084.623,"body":"And that's your type."},{"startTime":3081.578,"endTime":3084.623,"body":"You are Travis Barker."},{"startTime":3084.623,"endTime":3086.374,"body":"You want know I don't like Travis."},{"startTime":3086.374,"endTime":3089.044,"body":"Okay, But you're a mix like word I."},{"startTime":3089.044,"endTime":3090.42,"body":"Those are the only two drummers I know."},{"startTime":3090.42,"endTime":3094.341,"body":"I mean, I would take a graphic designer"},{"startTime":3090.42,"endTime":3094.341,"body":"with, like, a meth addicted stepkids. Is."},{"startTime":3095.884,"endTime":3096.468,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3096.468,"endTime":3098.47,"body":"I mean, no,"},{"startTime":3096.468,"endTime":3098.47,"body":"because that's a job of drummers,"},{"startTime":3098.47,"endTime":3100.347,"body":"not just because it actually"},{"startTime":3098.47,"endTime":3100.347,"body":"is a whole section of my show."},{"startTime":3100.347,"endTime":3101.431,"body":"Because that's all I did."},{"startTime":3101.431,"endTime":3103.141,"body":"Like when I was in New York."},{"startTime":3103.141,"endTime":3105.602,"body":"Sure. Drummer"},{"startTime":3103.141,"endTime":3105.602,"body":"But they're always the best looking."},{"startTime":3105.602,"endTime":3107.562,"body":"But I. But they weren't even in backup."},{"startTime":3107.562,"endTime":3110.19,"body":"They weren't even a backup drummer"},{"startTime":3107.562,"endTime":3110.19,"body":"for like, a bar mitzvah cover band."},{"startTime":3110.19,"endTime":3111.274,"body":"This wasn't even a real drummer."},{"startTime":3111.274,"endTime":3113.902,"body":"But drumming is hot. It's not good,"},{"startTime":3111.274,"endTime":3113.902,"body":"I think."},{"startTime":3113.902,"endTime":3116.78,"body":"I think it's more like balding"},{"startTime":3113.902,"endTime":3116.78,"body":"character actors."},{"startTime":3116.78,"endTime":3118.031,"body":"I still seem to be circling. Oh,"},{"startTime":3119.449,"endTime":3119.95,"body":"it's really."},{"startTime":3119.95,"endTime":3121.451,"body":"Paul Giamatti."},{"startTime":3121.451,"endTime":3122.702,"body":"Wait a second."},{"startTime":3122.702,"endTime":3125.831,"body":"This guy, Stanley Tucci."},{"startTime":3125.831,"endTime":3126.54,"body":"Is that really?"},{"startTime":3126.54,"endTime":3127.541,"body":"No, no, no."},{"startTime":3127.541,"endTime":3130.127,"body":"But, you know, drummers are hot"},{"startTime":3127.541,"endTime":3130.127,"body":"unless they're"},{"startTime":3130.127,"endTime":3133.421,"body":"practicing in front of you"},{"startTime":3130.127,"endTime":3133.421,"body":"while they're driving an Uber."},{"startTime":3133.588,"endTime":3136.591,"body":"I also we talk about this."},{"startTime":3136.675,"endTime":3140.387,"body":"You know, there's somebody we were"},{"startTime":3136.675,"endTime":3140.387,"body":"I guess it was an Uber,"},{"startTime":3140.387,"endTime":3144.641,"body":"and this guy had drumsticks and he was"},{"startTime":3140.387,"endTime":3144.641,"body":"he was driving and with a drumstick"},{"startTime":3144.975,"endTime":3147.811,"body":"hitting the dash of his car,"},{"startTime":3144.975,"endTime":3147.811,"body":"like keeping a beat or whatever"},{"startTime":3147.811,"endTime":3150.063,"body":"it was just to let us know"},{"startTime":3147.811,"endTime":3150.063,"body":"that he's a drummer, right? Yeah, of."},{"startTime":3150.063,"endTime":3152.983,"body":"Course. Well, that the meth addicted"},{"startTime":3150.063,"endTime":3152.983,"body":"son of the graphics. Yeah."},{"startTime":3152.983,"endTime":3155.068,"body":"You're talking about that"},{"startTime":3152.983,"endTime":3155.068,"body":"goddamn Corvette."},{"startTime":3155.068,"endTime":3157.904,"body":"I tried, I. Yeah. Oh, my God."},{"startTime":3157.904,"endTime":3161.825,"body":"I like him being like, Let me just do the,"},{"startTime":3157.904,"endTime":3161.825,"body":"like, stage directions of my screenplay."},{"startTime":3161.992,"endTime":3164.995,"body":"I drive you to Echo Park. Oh, yes."},{"startTime":3165.12,"endTime":3167.33,"body":"That's"},{"startTime":3165.12,"endTime":3167.33,"body":"my favorite thing about. And I only."},{"startTime":3168.331,"endTime":3170.375,"body":"I only noticed"},{"startTime":3168.331,"endTime":3170.375,"body":"it in L.A., where you're in an Uber"},{"startTime":3170.375,"endTime":3173.587,"body":"and there's a they're playing a song"},{"startTime":3170.375,"endTime":3173.587,"body":"you've never heard before."},{"startTime":3173.587,"endTime":3175.13,"body":"And I'm like, This is their music."},{"startTime":3175.13,"endTime":3176.923,"body":"Oh, yeah, Yeah."},{"startTime":3176.923,"endTime":3180.218,"body":"Where they're trying to, like,"},{"startTime":3176.923,"endTime":3180.218,"body":"audition themselves, things like that."},{"startTime":3180.218,"endTime":3183.763,"body":"Right back to the like,"},{"startTime":3180.218,"endTime":3183.763,"body":"I guess you're type A your"},{"startTime":3184.055,"endTime":3186.933,"body":"if we're going with the Stanley Tucci"},{"startTime":3184.055,"endTime":3186.933,"body":"that that era, even though when I."},{"startTime":3186.933,"endTime":3189.019,"body":"Am balding sober character I just."},{"startTime":3189.019,"endTime":3191.771,"body":"I, I in Ziering from 1981."},{"startTime":3191.771,"endTime":3194.649,"body":"Oh yes. He was my."},{"startTime":3194.649,"endTime":3195.442,"body":"So I came."},{"startTime":3195.442,"endTime":3199.029,"body":"Out here in the summer before like I guess"},{"startTime":3195.442,"endTime":3199.029,"body":"after freshman year in college"},{"startTime":3199.029,"endTime":3200.655,"body":"and I was like,"},{"startTime":3199.029,"endTime":3200.655,"body":"I just want to see Steve say."},{"startTime":3200.655,"endTime":3201.781,"body":"Yeah, I got your number."},{"startTime":3201.781,"endTime":3204.242,"body":"Yeah, that's great because I do."},{"startTime":3204.242,"endTime":3207.913,"body":"I did have that fucked kind of frat boy,"},{"startTime":3204.242,"endTime":3207.913,"body":"but he's right."},{"startTime":3207.913,"endTime":3210.874,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3207.913,"endTime":3210.874,"body":"We're in a teenage bedroom right now."},{"startTime":3210.874,"endTime":3213.793,"body":"In 1993."},{"startTime":3213.793,"endTime":3217.13,"body":"I mean, he, you know, he's psychic."},{"startTime":3217.13,"endTime":3217.631,"body":"I know."},{"startTime":3217.631,"endTime":3219.549,"body":"Well, Daniel knows I'm."},{"startTime":3219.549,"endTime":3221.843,"body":"Actually freaked out by, you know."},{"startTime":3221.843,"endTime":3224.221,"body":"Everything. You're unbelievable."},{"startTime":3224.221,"endTime":3224.846,"body":"It's like."},{"startTime":3224.846,"endTime":3226.264,"body":"You're like, Yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":3226.264,"endTime":3229.809,"body":"Texas is the nicest thing."},{"startTime":3229.935,"endTime":3232.479,"body":"You're"},{"startTime":3229.935,"endTime":3232.479,"body":"the smartest Texan. Texas on the planet."},{"startTime":3232.479,"endTime":3233.563,"body":"Freeze your brain."},{"startTime":3233.563,"endTime":3238.026,"body":"And to another level of frequency"},{"startTime":3233.563,"endTime":3238.026,"body":"is called it's it's not nirvana, but"},{"startTime":3239.194,"endTime":3240.07,"body":"it still is anti."},{"startTime":3240.07,"endTime":3242.906,"body":"So my college boyfriend was from Houston."},{"startTime":3242.906,"endTime":3243.323,"body":"Texas."},{"startTime":3243.323,"endTime":3246.201,"body":"I do know I just rewatched a lot of nine"},{"startTime":3243.323,"endTime":3246.201,"body":"or ten of first season."},{"startTime":3246.201,"endTime":3248.828,"body":"I'm going to call it"},{"startTime":3246.201,"endTime":3248.828,"body":"the temple of my new detail."},{"startTime":3248.828,"endTime":3250.163,"body":"That's"},{"startTime":3250.163,"endTime":3252.499,"body":"that's that's that's a great title."},{"startTime":3252.499,"endTime":3254.501,"body":"Temple of my mine."},{"startTime":3254.501,"endTime":3256.002,"body":"And what are you doing?"},{"startTime":3256.002,"endTime":3258.463,"body":"A haiku in front of us. Oh."},{"startTime":3258.463,"endTime":3260.048,"body":"I know."},{"startTime":3260.048,"endTime":3262.342,"body":"I can't count that high."},{"startTime":3262.342,"endTime":3265.345,"body":"Is that you do love the count? I"},{"startTime":3265.804,"endTime":3267.973,"body":"One, two, three."},{"startTime":3267.973,"endTime":3269.14,"body":"Thunder and lightning."},{"startTime":3269.14,"endTime":3271.559,"body":"Max. That's how I'm going to orgasm."},{"startTime":3271.559,"endTime":3272.143,"body":"I know, right?"},{"startTime":3272.143,"endTime":3275.188,"body":"That's the next orgasm we all have."},{"startTime":3275.188,"endTime":3278.024,"body":"We just have to start"},{"startTime":3275.188,"endTime":3278.024,"body":"shouting the counts. Well."},{"startTime":3278.024,"endTime":3279.15,"body":"The three of us be in bed together."},{"startTime":3279.15,"endTime":3281.903,"body":"I know, but if Laura can't orgasm,"},{"startTime":3279.15,"endTime":3281.903,"body":"she just keeps counting. Right?"},{"startTime":3283.029,"endTime":3283.446,"body":"I love."},{"startTime":3283.446,"endTime":3283.655,"body":"I know."},{"startTime":3283.655,"endTime":3285.198,"body":"We just have to find a flight of stairs."},{"startTime":3285.198,"endTime":3286.783,"body":"I can now that Garrett's in the room."},{"startTime":3286.783,"endTime":3289.077,"body":"Donna, we missed you."},{"startTime":3289.077,"endTime":3291.037,"body":"Go through your. Room."},{"startTime":3291.037,"endTime":3292.747,"body":"There are all kinds of things"},{"startTime":3291.037,"endTime":3292.747,"body":"we didn't know,"},{"startTime":3292.747,"endTime":3295.292,"body":"and we needed the heterosexual voice"},{"startTime":3292.747,"endTime":3295.292,"body":"of reason."},{"startTime":3295.292,"endTime":3296.668,"body":"Yeah, I'm not calling you that."},{"startTime":3296.668,"endTime":3299.462,"body":"We just need something close. Yeah."},{"startTime":3299.462,"endTime":3300.839,"body":"Yeah. It's the best."},{"startTime":3300.839,"endTime":3302.34,"body":"So when do you ship out?"},{"startTime":3302.34,"endTime":3304.509,"body":"I ship out. July 29th."},{"startTime":3304.509,"endTime":3305.927,"body":"And then I'm giving myself"},{"startTime":3305.927,"endTime":3309.306,"body":"a couple of days just to have the cricket"},{"startTime":3305.927,"endTime":3309.306,"body":"in rhythms to sleep."},{"startTime":3309.723,"endTime":3312.017,"body":"See, not be a total narcissist."},{"startTime":3312.017,"endTime":3314.602,"body":"Be like, let me support"},{"startTime":3312.017,"endTime":3314.602,"body":"other shows and see what's going on."},{"startTime":3314.602,"endTime":3316.229,"body":"And then third through the 13th."},{"startTime":3316.229,"endTime":3319.733,"body":"So Fielding,"},{"startTime":3316.229,"endTime":3319.733,"body":"tell us the exact day of your first show"},{"startTime":3319.983,"endTime":3322.444,"body":"and where it is exactly"},{"startTime":3319.983,"endTime":3322.444,"body":"so people know what."},{"startTime":3322.444,"endTime":3323.236,"body":"That's fine."},{"startTime":3323.236,"endTime":3326.156,"body":"I really appreciate you have seen it."},{"startTime":3326.156,"endTime":3329.617,"body":"Preview August 3rd in the meeting room"},{"startTime":3326.156,"endTime":3329.617,"body":"with just the tonic"},{"startTime":3329.951,"endTime":3333.163,"body":"and it's going to run through August 13th"},{"startTime":3329.951,"endTime":3333.163,"body":"and it's 7:00."},{"startTime":3333.496,"endTime":3335.957,"body":"So get your like late afternoon snack."},{"startTime":3335.957,"endTime":3338.96,"body":"You can still like hit the"},{"startTime":3335.957,"endTime":3338.96,"body":"I don't even know where the fuck"},{"startTime":3339.044,"endTime":3341.796,"body":"I know when I caught the fourth bridge."},{"startTime":3341.796,"endTime":3344.049,"body":"I don't. Know where the fuck people"},{"startTime":3341.796,"endTime":3344.049,"body":"go. Yeah."},{"startTime":3344.049,"endTime":3345.05,"body":"Have you seen the place?"},{"startTime":3345.05,"endTime":3348.011,"body":"I mean, is it on the website"},{"startTime":3345.05,"endTime":3348.011,"body":"of what it looks like? Yeah, I saw it."},{"startTime":3348.011,"endTime":3352.599,"body":"So that's why I gave myself some kind of,"},{"startTime":3348.011,"endTime":3352.599,"body":"like, very kind of interesting rooms"},{"startTime":3352.599,"endTime":3355.81,"body":"to mimic that room because it looks like"},{"startTime":3352.599,"endTime":3355.81,"body":"a conference room at Deloitte."},{"startTime":3355.81,"endTime":3356.186,"body":"And to"},{"startTime":3357.27,"endTime":3359.022,"body":"me it's very bare bones."},{"startTime":3359.022,"endTime":3362.4,"body":"I mean, but I'm psyched to get some clamp"},{"startTime":3359.022,"endTime":3362.4,"body":"lights."},{"startTime":3362.4,"endTime":3365.236,"body":"Yeah. And like,"},{"startTime":3362.4,"endTime":3365.236,"body":"you know, a very fancy shower curtain."},{"startTime":3365.236,"endTime":3368.239,"body":"I can go a long way. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":3368.74,"endTime":3371.159,"body":"And my and my iPhone case. Yes."},{"startTime":3371.159,"endTime":3373.787,"body":"I feel like this isn't Disney."},{"startTime":3373.787,"endTime":3375.163,"body":"Yeah, isn't Disney."},{"startTime":3375.163,"endTime":3377.332,"body":"I'm talking about the performance"},{"startTime":3375.163,"endTime":3377.332,"body":"space or."},{"startTime":3377.332,"endTime":3379.751,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's very barebones."},{"startTime":3379.751,"endTime":3382.42,"body":"I know, But what about"},{"startTime":3379.751,"endTime":3382.42,"body":"what did you mean about the show?"},{"startTime":3382.42,"endTime":3386.049,"body":"You can either hang it up as a curtain"},{"startTime":3382.42,"endTime":3386.049,"body":"or you can wrap a body in."},{"startTime":3386.049,"endTime":3387.717,"body":"It depends on how the show goes."},{"startTime":3387.717,"endTime":3390.011,"body":"Someone may know"},{"startTime":3387.717,"endTime":3390.011,"body":"if someone buries me alive."},{"startTime":3390.011,"endTime":3391.513,"body":"Yeah. If I get buried alive."},{"startTime":3391.513,"endTime":3391.971,"body":"And it just."},{"startTime":3391.971,"endTime":3394.724,"body":"It's like what this could cause"},{"startTime":3391.971,"endTime":3394.724,"body":"New York, you know?"},{"startTime":3394.724,"endTime":3397.519,"body":"Thank you."},{"startTime":3394.724,"endTime":3397.519,"body":"Well, we'll send a bell. You can put it"},{"startTime":3399.229,"endTime":3400.063,"body":"down."},{"startTime":3400.063,"endTime":3402.44,"body":"So I might just get me out of air."},{"startTime":3402.44,"endTime":3403.983,"body":"Laura, come rescue me."},{"startTime":3403.983,"endTime":3406.611,"body":"This is like"},{"startTime":3403.983,"endTime":3406.611,"body":"I'm going to blow my brains out."},{"startTime":3406.611,"endTime":3408.571,"body":"Give me a fucking bell."},{"startTime":3408.571,"endTime":3411.282,"body":"Buried alive. I went to rescue."},{"startTime":3411.282,"endTime":3412.784,"body":"That was great, right?"},{"startTime":3412.784,"endTime":3414.869,"body":"Yeah. I'm going to be."},{"startTime":3412.784,"endTime":3414.869,"body":"What's tapping you? Are you kidding?"},{"startTime":3414.869,"endTime":3417.414,"body":"You're the guy. I called you from Atlanta."},{"startTime":3414.869,"endTime":3417.414,"body":"I was like, I'm going to."},{"startTime":3417.414,"endTime":3421.251,"body":"I did a 30 minute"},{"startTime":3417.414,"endTime":3421.251,"body":"set at a bachelorette bridal party"},{"startTime":3421.626,"endTime":3425.255,"body":"of just in the mid-afternoon,"},{"startTime":3421.626,"endTime":3425.255,"body":"and they are nobody heard a word I said."},{"startTime":3425.38,"endTime":3427.006,"body":"And it was 40."},{"startTime":3427.006,"endTime":3429.426,"body":"It was 30 minutes. So 20 minutes."},{"startTime":3429.426,"endTime":3433.304,"body":"I got the light and I was like,"},{"startTime":3429.426,"endTime":3433.304,"body":"I'm just going to and end it right now."},{"startTime":3433.304,"endTime":3435.223,"body":"And then flip my well, how many."},{"startTime":3435.223,"endTime":3438.101,"body":"How many people were in the party"},{"startTime":3435.223,"endTime":3438.101,"body":"like watching you?"},{"startTime":3438.101,"endTime":3440.728,"body":"It was just like it's"},{"startTime":3438.101,"endTime":3440.728,"body":"just they have a lot of people."},{"startTime":3440.728,"endTime":3440.979,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3440.979,"endTime":3444.941,"body":"Anyway,"},{"startTime":3440.979,"endTime":3444.941,"body":"and by the way, hate producers who said"},{"startTime":3445.024,"endTime":3449.028,"body":"there was like she did 20 at the top"},{"startTime":3445.024,"endTime":3449.028,"body":"and it was another 25,"},{"startTime":3449.028,"endTime":3452.031,"body":"then 32, then I'm supposed to do 40."},{"startTime":3452.365,"endTime":3454.2,"body":"And by the way, I get on stage."},{"startTime":3454.2,"endTime":3455.243,"body":"Nobody likes me."},{"startTime":3455.243,"endTime":3457.245,"body":"Yeah. We're done. Yeah."},{"startTime":3457.245,"endTime":3459.747,"body":"What's the question now? I was. Done."},{"startTime":3457.245,"endTime":3459.747,"body":"I know."},{"startTime":3459.747,"endTime":3462.709,"body":"They've had their wine spritzers"},{"startTime":3459.747,"endTime":3462.709,"body":"and now it's like time to move on to."},{"startTime":3462.709,"endTime":3465.003,"body":"The Calgary. I'm like, I was on drown."},{"startTime":3465.003,"endTime":3466.838,"body":"Myself and soaking tub."},{"startTime":3466.838,"endTime":3468.882,"body":"Kind of bachelor party"},{"startTime":3466.838,"endTime":3468.882,"body":"bachelorette parties."},{"startTime":3468.882,"endTime":3470.508,"body":"They're awful. Awful."},{"startTime":3470.508,"endTime":3472.927,"body":"My friends were having anniversary"},{"startTime":3470.508,"endTime":3472.927,"body":"party, right?"},{"startTime":3472.927,"endTime":3474.971,"body":"They rented a house"},{"startTime":3472.927,"endTime":3474.971,"body":"and all the friends are there."},{"startTime":3474.971,"endTime":3476.848,"body":"I was like a friend anniversary,"},{"startTime":3476.848,"endTime":3478.725,"body":"which is always a sign"},{"startTime":3476.848,"endTime":3478.725,"body":"that the marriage is in trouble."},{"startTime":3480.435,"endTime":3480.768,"body":"And then"},{"startTime":3480.768,"endTime":3484.189,"body":"other thing was they were like,"},{"startTime":3480.768,"endTime":3484.189,"body":"We want you to do a SAT."},{"startTime":3484.272,"endTime":3487.317,"body":"And I was like, Fucking No, no,"},{"startTime":3487.775,"endTime":3490.695,"body":"you're no, no, I did."},{"startTime":3490.695,"endTime":3491.863,"body":"You're our funny friend."},{"startTime":3491.863,"endTime":3493.907,"body":"Yeah, it was so weird."},{"startTime":3491.863,"endTime":3493.907,"body":"I was like, Well, yeah, I'll."},{"startTime":3493.907,"endTime":3495.533,"body":"Give you Venmo, you 50 bucks."},{"startTime":3495.533,"endTime":3496.91,"body":"So you're not even."},{"startTime":3496.91,"endTime":3498.369,"body":"It was just it was so crazy."},{"startTime":3498.369,"endTime":3500.497,"body":"I was like, What are you all like?"},{"startTime":3500.497,"endTime":3503.875,"body":"I couldn't imagine that their relationship"},{"startTime":3500.497,"endTime":3503.875,"body":"was so bad that they needed my support."},{"startTime":3505.502,"endTime":3507.67,"body":"Leaning on me for that shit."},{"startTime":3507.67,"endTime":3508.463,"body":"But yeah, terrible."},{"startTime":3508.463,"endTime":3509.13,"body":"I did it."},{"startTime":3509.13,"endTime":3512.133,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3514.385,"endTime":3515.011,"body":"Fielding at"},{"startTime":3515.011,"endTime":3518.014,"body":"Low has been a joy to be with you."},{"startTime":3518.139,"endTime":3519.265,"body":"She'll be a joy again."},{"startTime":3519.265,"endTime":3522.268,"body":"Best day of my summer. Thank me."},{"startTime":3522.268,"endTime":3523.061,"body":"I'm okay. So."},{"startTime":3523.061,"endTime":3526.064,"body":"But Edinburgh is of the third to the 13th."},{"startTime":3526.272,"endTime":3527.065,"body":"Through the 13th."},{"startTime":3527.065,"endTime":3529.943,"body":"I have one more date of. August."},{"startTime":3527.065,"endTime":3529.943,"body":"But I will. This will be out by then."},{"startTime":3529.943,"endTime":3532.028,"body":"It doesn't matter. But yeah."},{"startTime":3529.943,"endTime":3532.028,"body":"And then hopefully I bring it back here."},{"startTime":3532.028,"endTime":3534.864,"body":"But I might just"},{"startTime":3532.028,"endTime":3534.864,"body":"be in a coffin with a pal."},{"startTime":3536.658,"endTime":3537.158,"body":"Like, what's that?"},{"startTime":3537.158,"endTime":3539.619,"body":"Sounds like I think lunch is ready."},{"startTime":3539.619,"endTime":3540.245,"body":"It's coming."},{"startTime":3540.245,"endTime":3541.538,"body":"It's coming from Cork."},{"startTime":3541.538,"endTime":3544.541,"body":"Oh, my sister Char,"},{"startTime":3541.538,"endTime":3544.541,"body":"there's some bells coming from."},{"startTime":3545.208,"endTime":3546.501,"body":"Here, and I don't feel."},{"startTime":3546.501,"endTime":3547.377,"body":"I love you guys. Thank you."},{"startTime":3547.377,"endTime":3548.336,"body":"Thanks for having me."},{"startTime":3548.336,"endTime":3549.587,"body":"That was so much fun."},{"startTime":3549.587,"endTime":3552.131,"body":"Okay, Bye bye."}]}