{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":8.842,"endTime":9.884,"body":"Hi. Hi."},{"startTime":9.884,"endTime":10.76,"body":"How are you?"},{"startTime":10.76,"endTime":13.513,"body":"Hi. Welcome to what"},{"startTime":10.76,"endTime":13.513,"body":"we thought would happen."},{"startTime":13.513,"endTime":17.267,"body":"And we are lucky enough"},{"startTime":13.513,"endTime":17.267,"body":"to have the brilliant and hilarious"},{"startTime":17.267,"endTime":18.685,"body":"Maggie Maye with us."},{"startTime":18.685,"endTime":21.646,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":21.688,"endTime":25.275,"body":"And we also know that we have one listener"},{"startTime":21.688,"endTime":25.275,"body":"because Maggie said she heard"},{"startTime":25.275,"endTime":29.946,"body":"the podcast wanted to do it. Yes."},{"startTime":30.03,"endTime":31.614,"body":"And thank you for your listeners."},{"startTime":31.614,"endTime":33.283,"body":"Yeah. What were you about to say, though?"},{"startTime":33.283,"endTime":34.826,"body":"You had a good story about, Oh. Okay."},{"startTime":34.826,"endTime":39.539,"body":"We were talking about having a live mic"},{"startTime":34.826,"endTime":39.539,"body":"and I remember I was in Boston."},{"startTime":39.581,"endTime":42.667,"body":"I was probably like 23"},{"startTime":39.581,"endTime":42.667,"body":"or 24 doing stand up."},{"startTime":42.667,"endTime":46.212,"body":"It was like an outdoor crowd"},{"startTime":42.667,"endTime":46.212,"body":"and it was a hockey team"},{"startTime":46.212,"endTime":47.797,"body":"like the Huskies or something."},{"startTime":47.797,"endTime":49.924,"body":"And nobody wanted to do"},{"startTime":47.797,"endTime":49.924,"body":"stand up in front of them."},{"startTime":49.924,"endTime":53.845,"body":"And I had to do like 15 minutes"},{"startTime":49.924,"endTime":53.845,"body":"and I cut it"},{"startTime":53.845,"endTime":56.848,"body":"short at ten because they were just"},{"startTime":53.845,"endTime":56.848,"body":"yelling and being gross."},{"startTime":56.973,"endTime":60.685,"body":"And so then I went backstage and the host,"},{"startTime":60.727,"endTime":63.772,"body":"I can't remember his name, but he said,"},{"startTime":60.727,"endTime":63.772,"body":"Do you think any of us"},{"startTime":63.772,"endTime":66.232,"body":"wants to do more time"},{"startTime":63.772,"endTime":66.232,"body":"because you went short?"},{"startTime":66.232,"endTime":69.486,"body":"Nobody wants to be out there"},{"startTime":66.232,"endTime":69.486,"body":"in front of those assholes right now."},{"startTime":69.569,"endTime":72.822,"body":"And he goes out."},{"startTime":72.906,"endTime":73.531,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":73.531,"endTime":76.326,"body":"They quieted up then."},{"startTime":76.326,"endTime":77.744,"body":"Yes. Oh, man."},{"startTime":77.744,"endTime":81.331,"body":"And they're so good. That's all, you know."},{"startTime":81.414,"endTime":83.166,"body":"You were on the ice performing."},{"startTime":83.166,"endTime":84.292,"body":"No, no, no."},{"startTime":84.292,"endTime":85.085,"body":"We're just outside."},{"startTime":85.085,"endTime":87.879,"body":"Like, I don't know, some outdoor venue"},{"startTime":85.085,"endTime":87.879,"body":"in Boston."},{"startTime":87.879,"endTime":88.797,"body":"I can't remember where."},{"startTime":88.797,"endTime":89.798,"body":"That's horrific."},{"startTime":89.798,"endTime":90.465,"body":"I know."},{"startTime":90.465,"endTime":93.468,"body":"Hey, welcome back. Hey."},{"startTime":93.551,"endTime":95.345,"body":"Hi, Maggie. Hey."},{"startTime":95.345,"endTime":97.013,"body":"I know Maggie. Way back from Texas."},{"startTime":97.013,"endTime":99.516,"body":"Oh, geez. Yeah, we go way back."},{"startTime":99.516,"endTime":104.479,"body":"You were like a queen of Austin scene"},{"startTime":99.516,"endTime":104.479,"body":"when I started in stand up."},{"startTime":104.646,"endTime":107.482,"body":"Maggie was like the darling. Oh, you were?"},{"startTime":107.482,"endTime":109.567,"body":"I remember doing your show"},{"startTime":107.482,"endTime":109.567,"body":"and thinking it was a big deal."},{"startTime":109.567,"endTime":111.611,"body":"You had a show at Spider house."},{"startTime":111.611,"endTime":114.614,"body":"You got the comedy talent review"},{"startTime":111.611,"endTime":114.614,"body":"That I did."},{"startTime":114.614,"endTime":116.449,"body":"Yeah. Oh, then you did."},{"startTime":116.449,"endTime":119.41,"body":"You did a character at the end."},{"startTime":116.449,"endTime":119.41,"body":"I remember."},{"startTime":119.41,"endTime":119.619,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":119.619,"endTime":123.081,"body":"You acted as like it was an aunt,"},{"startTime":119.619,"endTime":123.081,"body":"maybe a teacher, like an older lady."},{"startTime":123.289,"endTime":125.917,"body":"They just let me do stuff. Yeah,"},{"startTime":126.0,"endTime":128.753,"body":"but that was"},{"startTime":126.0,"endTime":128.753,"body":"like my fourth time ever doing stand up."},{"startTime":128.753,"endTime":130.463,"body":"You were always so funny."},{"startTime":130.463,"endTime":132.09,"body":"Like, everybody always knew that."},{"startTime":132.09,"endTime":134.592,"body":"You were icy yellow. Oh, I."},{"startTime":134.592,"endTime":137.595,"body":"Think I used. To. So did we."},{"startTime":134.592,"endTime":137.595,"body":"All right. But."},{"startTime":137.595,"endTime":138.054,"body":"How do you."},{"startTime":138.054,"endTime":141.349,"body":"Laura, There's a whole podcast"},{"startTime":138.054,"endTime":141.349,"body":"about me and Laura becoming friends."},{"startTime":141.432,"endTime":142.392,"body":"How have you guys? Matt?"},{"startTime":142.392,"endTime":143.893,"body":"We met at a club."},{"startTime":143.893,"endTime":145.478,"body":"I think it. Was the improv."},{"startTime":145.478,"endTime":147.147,"body":"Yeah, the Laura Houses show."},{"startTime":147.147,"endTime":148.481,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah, right."},{"startTime":148.481,"endTime":149.19,"body":"I love Laura House."},{"startTime":149.19,"endTime":152.193,"body":"Did you like Austin Stories? Yes."},{"startTime":152.318,"endTime":154.445,"body":"Yeah. Like as a kid, I watched that."},{"startTime":154.445,"endTime":155.738,"body":"Yeah. And was like."},{"startTime":155.738,"endTime":158.449,"body":"I had no clue"},{"startTime":155.738,"endTime":158.449,"body":"you'd, like, be friends with Chip later."},{"startTime":158.449,"endTime":158.992,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":158.992,"endTime":161.995,"body":"You know, like, I remember"},{"startTime":158.992,"endTime":161.995,"body":"when it came out and just being from Texas"},{"startTime":161.995,"endTime":166.124,"body":"and being like, Oh,"},{"startTime":161.995,"endTime":166.124,"body":"my God, Texas is on MTV right now."},{"startTime":166.207,"endTime":168.418,"body":"Like, on the map I've been to."},{"startTime":168.418,"endTime":172.213,"body":"Like, it was just so groundbreaking for"},{"startTime":168.418,"endTime":172.213,"body":"for a little Texas person."},{"startTime":172.213,"endTime":173.423,"body":"To see It did have that weird."},{"startTime":173.423,"endTime":177.093,"body":"I did I think that's why I watched because"},{"startTime":173.423,"endTime":177.093,"body":"it has some weird Texas identity to it."},{"startTime":177.135,"endTime":179.512,"body":"Have you been to Texas, Laura? Yeah."},{"startTime":179.512,"endTime":182.932,"body":"I did a documentary on a friend of mine,"},{"startTime":179.512,"endTime":182.932,"body":"Randy Credico,"},{"startTime":182.932,"endTime":186.853,"body":"who started a street movement"},{"startTime":182.932,"endTime":186.853,"body":"to repeal the Rockefeller drug laws."},{"startTime":186.936,"endTime":189.939,"body":"And so I was in Tulia, of all places."},{"startTime":190.148,"endTime":193.026,"body":"But I also have done standup in Austin,"},{"startTime":193.026,"endTime":196.07,"body":"which was a blast"},{"startTime":193.026,"endTime":196.07,"body":"as part of a comedy festival."},{"startTime":196.112,"endTime":198.072,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":196.112,"endTime":198.072,"body":"Austin's a great time for stand up."},{"startTime":198.072,"endTime":199.866,"body":"So imagine I moved up to L.A."},{"startTime":199.866,"endTime":201.242,"body":"sort of at the same time."},{"startTime":201.242,"endTime":203.995,"body":"Yeah, I think within, like,"},{"startTime":201.242,"endTime":203.995,"body":"a month of each other, I'm like that."},{"startTime":203.995,"endTime":204.495,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":204.495,"endTime":206.915,"body":"I want to talk to you about so much,"},{"startTime":204.495,"endTime":206.915,"body":"cause I've never actually, like, we don't."},{"startTime":206.915,"endTime":207.457,"body":"I've never."},{"startTime":207.457,"endTime":209.292,"body":"I hang out with your bunch written"},{"startTime":207.457,"endTime":209.292,"body":"a zillion shows together,"},{"startTime":209.292,"endTime":211.336,"body":"but I think we were, like,"},{"startTime":209.292,"endTime":211.336,"body":"talking about, like, comedy, and."},{"startTime":211.336,"endTime":213.338,"body":"You go on tour and stuff a lot. You."},{"startTime":213.338,"endTime":215.215,"body":"Not so much. These days."},{"startTime":215.215,"endTime":218.593,"body":"I think I'm going to slowly start"},{"startTime":215.215,"endTime":218.593,"body":"getting back into it every time."},{"startTime":218.593,"endTime":220.303,"body":"I'm like, I get back into touring."},{"startTime":220.303,"endTime":223.306,"body":"Like there's another COVID"},{"startTime":220.303,"endTime":223.306,"body":"spike that kind of scares me."},{"startTime":223.348,"endTime":225.892,"body":"Yeah, but."},{"startTime":223.348,"endTime":225.892,"body":"Yeah. You know, there's one right now."},{"startTime":225.892,"endTime":226.935,"body":"Yeah, right."},{"startTime":226.935,"endTime":227.894,"body":"Like a bunch of people."},{"startTime":227.894,"endTime":229.687,"body":"Got it. Oh, shit. From New York."},{"startTime":229.687,"endTime":230.563,"body":"Or just out here."},{"startTime":230.563,"endTime":233.024,"body":"Here. Oh, great. Oh, so it's like."},{"startTime":233.024,"endTime":234.859,"body":"Well, just stay off of social media."},{"startTime":234.859,"endTime":235.777,"body":"Yeah, that's."},{"startTime":235.777,"endTime":237.487,"body":"That's what makes it scary,"},{"startTime":235.777,"endTime":237.487,"body":"because I'm like, Oh, fuck."},{"startTime":237.487,"endTime":240.323,"body":"All my friends got it. Yeah,"},{"startTime":237.487,"endTime":240.323,"body":"but we went on a tour together."},{"startTime":240.323,"endTime":241.282,"body":"A mini tour?"},{"startTime":241.282,"endTime":242.2,"body":"Yeah, it was fun."},{"startTime":242.2,"endTime":245.119,"body":"She brought her dog, her dogs, all in."},{"startTime":245.119,"endTime":246.537,"body":"I thought I was going to come today."},{"startTime":246.537,"endTime":249.415,"body":"She's with my boyfriend."},{"startTime":249.415,"endTime":250.75,"body":"Like he has to go to Orange County"},{"startTime":250.75,"endTime":253.836,"body":"to pick up his car, and then I'm going"},{"startTime":250.75,"endTime":253.836,"body":"to go there for a show tonight."},{"startTime":253.836,"endTime":255.546,"body":"So he's like, I can take all with me."},{"startTime":255.546,"endTime":257.173,"body":"It's just going to be easier for you."},{"startTime":257.173,"endTime":258.549,"body":"So do you like L.A.?"},{"startTime":258.549,"endTime":261.135,"body":"I do, Yeah, I really do."},{"startTime":258.549,"endTime":261.135,"body":"You sound surprised."},{"startTime":261.135,"endTime":262.762,"body":"Well,"},{"startTime":261.135,"endTime":262.762,"body":"I like it now that you've got a boyfriend."},{"startTime":262.762,"endTime":265.056,"body":"The last time I talked to you. Well,"},{"startTime":262.762,"endTime":265.056,"body":"it was a few years ago."},{"startTime":265.056,"endTime":267.183,"body":"I think you were sort of dating somebody."},{"startTime":267.183,"endTime":269.894,"body":"And this is the same person?"},{"startTime":267.183,"endTime":269.894,"body":"Probably not. No. Good."},{"startTime":269.894,"endTime":274.482,"body":"No, no."},{"startTime":274.565,"endTime":276.067,"body":"Yeah, Okay."},{"startTime":276.067,"endTime":279.737,"body":"Yeah, I know someone where I lived way up."},{"startTime":279.821,"endTime":281.948,"body":"My new guy, He's great. He's wonderful."},{"startTime":281.948,"endTime":286.244,"body":"He lives in Orange County,"},{"startTime":281.948,"endTime":286.244,"body":"so it's nice to be able to get out of L.A."},{"startTime":286.244,"endTime":290.29,"body":"sometimes and just go see what Orange"},{"startTime":286.244,"endTime":290.29,"body":"County people are up to."},{"startTime":290.373,"endTime":291.249,"body":"What are. Y'all doing?"},{"startTime":291.249,"endTime":293.293,"body":"They've got great stores out there, too,"},{"startTime":293.293,"endTime":296.296,"body":"because it's like their targets"},{"startTime":293.293,"endTime":296.296,"body":"have everything."},{"startTime":296.421,"endTime":297.297,"body":"Yeah, right."},{"startTime":297.297,"endTime":300.216,"body":"And none of it's, like, locked up."},{"startTime":297.297,"endTime":300.216,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":300.216,"endTime":302.218,"body":"I love targets in other cities."},{"startTime":300.216,"endTime":302.218,"body":"Or I'm like, Wow, you're."},{"startTime":302.218,"endTime":304.387,"body":"You let your customers touch stuff."},{"startTime":302.218,"endTime":304.387,"body":"Without me."},{"startTime":304.387,"endTime":305.888,"body":"Causing an assistant. For."},{"startTime":305.888,"endTime":306.931,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":306.931,"endTime":309.642,"body":"Let me get my ashwagandha gummies,"},{"startTime":306.931,"endTime":309.642,"body":"for fuck's sake."},{"startTime":309.642,"endTime":310.685,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":310.685,"endTime":312.895,"body":"You don't need to be old enough"},{"startTime":310.685,"endTime":312.895,"body":"to buy that shit, right?"},{"startTime":312.895,"endTime":316.316,"body":"Yeah, I ask that because it's"},{"startTime":312.895,"endTime":316.316,"body":"like I am surprised that I like L.A."},{"startTime":316.357,"endTime":316.983,"body":"so much."},{"startTime":316.983,"endTime":317.4,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":317.4,"endTime":320.82,"body":"I mean, I feel like when I moved here,"},{"startTime":317.4,"endTime":320.82,"body":"I had, like,"},{"startTime":320.82,"endTime":324.198,"body":"a good, temperate expectation of, like,"},{"startTime":320.82,"endTime":324.198,"body":"you know, I live here now."},{"startTime":324.198,"endTime":327.827,"body":"I'm not going to step off the plane"},{"startTime":324.198,"endTime":327.827,"body":"and, like, have someone be like,"},{"startTime":327.827,"endTime":330.83,"body":"you are the one with been like,"},{"startTime":327.827,"endTime":330.83,"body":"I did not have that expectation."},{"startTime":330.913,"endTime":334.042,"body":"And I was just like, okay,"},{"startTime":330.913,"endTime":334.042,"body":"this is just going to be a lot more work"},{"startTime":334.042,"endTime":337.628,"body":"and I'm going to have to like"},{"startTime":334.042,"endTime":337.628,"body":"start everything back over again."},{"startTime":337.628,"endTime":341.049,"body":"And like, it's just going to be"},{"startTime":337.628,"endTime":341.049,"body":"a lot more work in a different state."},{"startTime":341.09,"endTime":345.595,"body":"And that's been true. So yeah,"},{"startTime":345.678,"endTime":347.93,"body":"it was like, yeah, I was right."},{"startTime":347.93,"endTime":350.892,"body":"With Pandemic,"},{"startTime":347.93,"endTime":350.892,"body":"is that a recovery for you coming out"},{"startTime":350.892,"endTime":354.103,"body":"and trying to stand up more again,"},{"startTime":350.892,"endTime":354.103,"body":"because you're such a low performer,"},{"startTime":354.103,"endTime":356.356,"body":"you're all over town"},{"startTime":354.103,"endTime":356.356,"body":"and then everything shut down."},{"startTime":356.356,"endTime":359.025,"body":"I can't tell you how many Zoom shows"},{"startTime":356.356,"endTime":359.025,"body":"I did. Yeah."},{"startTime":359.025,"endTime":359.442,"body":"Oh yeah."},{"startTime":359.442,"endTime":362.195,"body":"I cannot tell you how many Zoom shows"},{"startTime":359.442,"endTime":362.195,"body":"I did."},{"startTime":362.195,"endTime":362.945,"body":"If somebody was like,"},{"startTime":362.945,"endTime":365.948,"body":"You want to do a Zoom show in Australia"},{"startTime":362.945,"endTime":365.948,"body":"at four in the morning?"},{"startTime":365.99,"endTime":367.784,"body":"Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do."},{"startTime":367.784,"endTime":368.993,"body":"Because I will be away."},{"startTime":368.993,"endTime":371.829,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah. But pandemic or not."},{"startTime":368.993,"endTime":371.829,"body":"Maggie Brooks. Yeah."},{"startTime":371.829,"endTime":374.123,"body":"Like yeah, she's busy. I like it."},{"startTime":374.123,"endTime":376.042,"body":"So you're from the valley in Texas, right?"},{"startTime":376.042,"endTime":378.044,"body":"The RGV for the people at home."},{"startTime":378.044,"endTime":381.547,"body":"You moved to Austin"},{"startTime":378.044,"endTime":381.547,"body":"and then started standup? Yes."},{"startTime":381.547,"endTime":383.674,"body":"What were you watching as a kid like?"},{"startTime":383.674,"endTime":386.803,"body":"What made you laugh or what made"},{"startTime":383.674,"endTime":386.803,"body":"you want to get into like telling stories"},{"startTime":386.803,"endTime":387.637,"body":"and shit on stage?"},{"startTime":387.637,"endTime":391.14,"body":"I liked The Simpsons and Tracey"},{"startTime":387.637,"endTime":391.14,"body":"Ullman. Hmm."},{"startTime":391.182,"endTime":394.894,"body":"I loved that when I was a kid,"},{"startTime":391.182,"endTime":394.894,"body":"I loved Garry Shandling."},{"startTime":394.894,"endTime":396.479,"body":"I loved Whoopi Goldberg."},{"startTime":396.479,"endTime":400.9,"body":"I was also watching like, you know,"},{"startTime":396.479,"endTime":400.9,"body":"Jem and Shira, Princess, the power."},{"startTime":400.9,"endTime":402.276,"body":"And all, you know,"},{"startTime":402.276,"endTime":404.904,"body":"Oh, my God, have you seen, though,"},{"startTime":402.276,"endTime":404.904,"body":"someone has overdubbed"},{"startTime":404.904,"endTime":408.825,"body":"Jem and redubbed her jizz"},{"startTime":404.904,"endTime":408.825,"body":"and she's just Deep Throat a dork."},{"startTime":408.825,"endTime":411.744,"body":"I like this. And it's"},{"startTime":411.828,"endTime":413.413,"body":"like, Oh, my God, I just shaved my pants."},{"startTime":413.413,"endTime":415.665,"body":"And it's like, But they do the Jem song."},{"startTime":415.665,"endTime":419.544,"body":"I still wear, like, heads Jazz. Oh."},{"startTime":419.627,"endTime":420.336,"body":"Better be funny."},{"startTime":420.336,"endTime":422.463,"body":"Or someone's getting a stern letter."},{"startTime":420.336,"endTime":422.463,"body":"It is, but."},{"startTime":422.463,"endTime":423.84,"body":"I don't like it."},{"startTime":423.84,"endTime":427.135,"body":"Oh, now one fighting for or against it."},{"startTime":427.135,"endTime":428.052,"body":"I don't like it."},{"startTime":428.052,"endTime":430.513,"body":"I don't know what you're talking about,"},{"startTime":428.052,"endTime":430.513,"body":"but I don't like it."},{"startTime":430.513,"endTime":432.974,"body":"But I'll draw your picture. Okay."},{"startTime":432.974,"endTime":434.475,"body":"It's funny."},{"startTime":434.475,"endTime":436.686,"body":"Have you ever met Tracey Ullman?"},{"startTime":436.686,"endTime":437.937,"body":"No. You get. Weird."},{"startTime":437.937,"endTime":439.105,"body":"I almost feel like I have."},{"startTime":439.105,"endTime":441.732,"body":"Yeah, I did. I met Garry Shandling."},{"startTime":439.105,"endTime":441.732,"body":"Yeah? Yeah."},{"startTime":441.732,"endTime":444.402,"body":"At Roseanne's wedding,"},{"startTime":441.732,"endTime":444.402,"body":"believe it or not. Wait, what?"},{"startTime":444.402,"endTime":445.862,"body":"Yeah. Yeah. Which. Where?"},{"startTime":445.862,"endTime":447.947,"body":"The Tom Arnold wedding? No, no, no."},{"startTime":447.947,"endTime":448.99,"body":"Bodyguard wedding."},{"startTime":448.99,"endTime":449.574,"body":"The bodyguard?"},{"startTime":449.574,"endTime":452.326,"body":"Well, yeah, and that was in Lake Tahoe."},{"startTime":452.326,"endTime":455.079,"body":"And that was really fun."},{"startTime":452.326,"endTime":455.079,"body":"And that's when I met Garry Shandling."},{"startTime":455.079,"endTime":457.415,"body":"He was there. Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":455.079,"endTime":457.415,"body":"Well, stop, everybody."},{"startTime":457.415,"endTime":458.207,"body":"You know, it's really funny."},{"startTime":458.207,"endTime":461.878,"body":"Sandra Bernhard, everybody was kind of"},{"startTime":458.207,"endTime":461.878,"body":"gambling because there's a casino there."},{"startTime":461.961,"endTime":464.255,"body":"Okay, wait, tell me everything."},{"startTime":461.961,"endTime":464.255,"body":"Were you apart of the wedding?"},{"startTime":464.255,"endTime":465.84,"body":"Our guest? No other guest."},{"startTime":465.84,"endTime":468.092,"body":"Okay. Because you were writing on that"},{"startTime":465.84,"endTime":468.092,"body":"season, right? Yeah."},{"startTime":468.092,"endTime":468.342,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":468.342,"endTime":472.763,"body":"And Lois Bromfield, David Feldman,"},{"startTime":468.342,"endTime":472.763,"body":"a lot of comics when she won, she was."},{"startTime":472.763,"endTime":473.556,"body":"Pregnant, right?"},{"startTime":473.556,"endTime":475.6,"body":"I think so, yeah. That's so crazy."},{"startTime":475.6,"endTime":477.727,"body":"Yeah, because that was."},{"startTime":475.6,"endTime":477.727,"body":"She was so super famous."},{"startTime":477.727,"endTime":479.77,"body":"Was that, like,"},{"startTime":477.727,"endTime":479.77,"body":"helicopters buzzing overhead, kind of."},{"startTime":479.77,"endTime":481.439,"body":"Well, it didn't seem like it."},{"startTime":481.439,"endTime":484.15,"body":"I think they kind of handled it well."},{"startTime":481.439,"endTime":484.15,"body":"I mean, there were other people"},{"startTime":484.15,"endTime":486.861,"body":"just in the casino,"},{"startTime":484.15,"endTime":486.861,"body":"but it wasn't like swarming."},{"startTime":486.861,"endTime":488.654,"body":"Maybe they rented it out. The whole thing."},{"startTime":486.861,"endTime":488.654,"body":"I don't know."},{"startTime":488.654,"endTime":490.948,"body":"I would have loved to sit next to Garry"},{"startTime":488.654,"endTime":490.948,"body":"Shandling at our wedding."},{"startTime":490.948,"endTime":494.869,"body":"That sounds fine. Well,"},{"startTime":490.948,"endTime":494.869,"body":"we just played pool together. But"},{"startTime":494.952,"endTime":496.037,"body":"I hate pool."},{"startTime":496.037,"endTime":497.079,"body":"Are you good at it?"},{"startTime":497.079,"endTime":498.372,"body":"No, I hate it."},{"startTime":498.372,"endTime":498.998,"body":"That's the thing."},{"startTime":498.998,"endTime":501.918,"body":"I think I'm good at it until I play"},{"startTime":498.998,"endTime":501.918,"body":"with someone who actually is good."},{"startTime":501.918,"endTime":503.878,"body":"Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, Well, I'm terrible."},{"startTime":503.878,"endTime":507.006,"body":"It's like,"},{"startTime":503.878,"endTime":507.006,"body":"I just do this once in a while, right?"},{"startTime":507.006,"endTime":510.343,"body":"Every time I bring up"},{"startTime":507.006,"endTime":510.343,"body":"Donald Duck and mathematics Land."},{"startTime":510.343,"endTime":512.845,"body":"Did you ever see that cartoon? See this?"},{"startTime":512.845,"endTime":513.971,"body":"It sounds kind of familiar."},{"startTime":513.971,"endTime":515.598,"body":"It's old. It's from the fucking eighties."},{"startTime":515.598,"endTime":519.018,"body":"And they explain geometry or some bullshit"},{"startTime":515.598,"endTime":519.018,"body":"via pool."},{"startTime":519.06,"endTime":521.02,"body":"Anyway, this is what I do"},{"startTime":519.06,"endTime":521.02,"body":"Every time I play pool,"},{"startTime":521.02,"endTime":523.189,"body":"I bore the other person in there."},{"startTime":521.02,"endTime":523.189,"body":"Fucking submission."},{"startTime":523.189,"endTime":524.899,"body":"Oh, wait."},{"startTime":524.899,"endTime":525.233,"body":"Maggie."},{"startTime":525.233,"endTime":525.816,"body":"So, you know,"},{"startTime":525.816,"endTime":529.153,"body":"Daniel and I have talked about,"},{"startTime":525.816,"endTime":529.153,"body":"like when we were growing up and stuff"},{"startTime":529.153,"endTime":532.615,"body":"and what we liked in school and, well,"},{"startTime":529.153,"endTime":532.615,"body":"I was unpopular and just like."},{"startTime":532.782,"endTime":534.575,"body":"Like how I was just popular, too. Okay?"},{"startTime":534.575,"endTime":536.744,"body":"We were both."},{"startTime":534.575,"endTime":536.744,"body":"She tries to turn off popular and popular."},{"startTime":536.744,"endTime":538.996,"body":"Did you have like a clip"},{"startTime":536.744,"endTime":538.996,"body":"that you hung around with"},{"startTime":538.996,"endTime":542.166,"body":"or were you kind of like outsider"},{"startTime":538.996,"endTime":542.166,"body":"because you're funny or."},{"startTime":542.25,"endTime":545.753,"body":"See in like elementary school and junior"},{"startTime":542.25,"endTime":545.753,"body":"high and stuff?"},{"startTime":545.753,"endTime":547.296,"body":"I thought I was popular"},{"startTime":547.296,"endTime":551.133,"body":"because everybody knew me,"},{"startTime":547.296,"endTime":551.133,"body":"but I was the only black kid in school."},{"startTime":551.133,"endTime":553.886,"body":"So of course you knew."},{"startTime":553.97,"endTime":555.471,"body":"Of course."},{"startTime":555.471,"endTime":558.975,"body":"Like, yeah, you can point me out in the"},{"startTime":555.471,"endTime":558.975,"body":"you know, the class."},{"startTime":559.016,"endTime":563.145,"body":"But of course I was like in junior"},{"startTime":559.016,"endTime":563.145,"body":"high and elementary."},{"startTime":563.145,"endTime":565.398,"body":"I was also a cheerleader, but I was like,"},{"startTime":563.145,"endTime":565.398,"body":"I was a cheerleader."},{"startTime":565.398,"endTime":570.111,"body":"The other cheerleaders didn't really hang"},{"startTime":565.398,"endTime":570.111,"body":"out with, Oh, because I was also weird."},{"startTime":570.319,"endTime":572.363,"body":"Okay. Yeah,"},{"startTime":572.363,"endTime":576.492,"body":"I was, like, better at cheerleading"},{"startTime":572.363,"endTime":576.492,"body":"than them, but, like, funny and weird."},{"startTime":576.492,"endTime":577.326,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":577.326,"endTime":579.579,"body":"Weird is something I got a lot called."},{"startTime":579.579,"endTime":580.997,"body":"Weird. Yeah. Really?"},{"startTime":580.997,"endTime":584.5,"body":"Like, if I'm just trying to be funny"},{"startTime":580.997,"endTime":584.5,"body":"or make people laugh, you're weird."},{"startTime":584.5,"endTime":585.459,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":585.459,"endTime":586.127,"body":"So a."},{"startTime":586.127,"endTime":588.546,"body":"Teacher brought that up to my mom"},{"startTime":586.127,"endTime":588.546,"body":"in a parent teacher."},{"startTime":588.546,"endTime":591.132,"body":"Conference, and she was like."},{"startTime":591.132,"endTime":596.596,"body":"Yeah, she's good at this and she's really"},{"startTime":591.132,"endTime":596.596,"body":"nice and this and that and kind of weird."},{"startTime":596.679,"endTime":598.222,"body":"That's"},{"startTime":598.306,"endTime":600.808,"body":"just like, weird to me."},{"startTime":600.808,"endTime":603.644,"body":"Like in what,"},{"startTime":600.808,"endTime":603.644,"body":"like goth weird or, like, awkward."},{"startTime":603.644,"endTime":605.73,"body":"Weird. I like awkward. Weird."},{"startTime":605.73,"endTime":611.569,"body":"I guess I try to be funny, you know,"},{"startTime":605.73,"endTime":611.569,"body":"and people not getting the references"},{"startTime":611.569,"endTime":613.154,"body":"because they weren't watching"},{"startTime":611.569,"endTime":613.154,"body":"Nick at night."},{"startTime":613.154,"endTime":615.364,"body":"Also, man,"},{"startTime":615.364,"endTime":617.199,"body":"I guess that's Nick at night."},{"startTime":617.199,"endTime":617.575,"body":"I'd be like,"},{"startTime":617.575,"endTime":621.996,"body":"if you all watch the many loves of Dobie"},{"startTime":617.575,"endTime":621.996,"body":"Gillis, y'all will be laughing."},{"startTime":622.079,"endTime":624.29,"body":"Oh, wait, Did you try out for cheerleader?"},{"startTime":624.29,"endTime":625.166,"body":"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":625.166,"endTime":626.208,"body":"I think I got two."},{"startTime":626.208,"endTime":628.753,"body":"Maybe one jump. And they're like,"},{"startTime":626.208,"endTime":628.753,"body":"Thank you."},{"startTime":628.753,"endTime":629.67,"body":"I'm like."},{"startTime":629.67,"endTime":630.171,"body":"Yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":630.171,"endTime":632.715,"body":"I can't believe."},{"startTime":630.171,"endTime":632.715,"body":"You tried out for cheerleader and made it."},{"startTime":632.715,"endTime":634.216,"body":"Were you a gymnast or anything before?"},{"startTime":634.216,"endTime":635.885,"body":"No, I just could do the stuff."},{"startTime":635.885,"endTime":636.469,"body":"Uh huh."},{"startTime":636.469,"endTime":641.349,"body":"I don't know how I knew how"},{"startTime":636.469,"endTime":641.349,"body":"to do gymnastic stuff, but I just could."},{"startTime":641.39,"endTime":642.099,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":642.099,"endTime":643.059,"body":"Well, I taught my sister"},{"startTime":643.059,"endTime":646.062,"body":"how to do a backhand spring"},{"startTime":643.059,"endTime":646.062,"body":"when I was, like, 12 years old."},{"startTime":646.27,"endTime":647.438,"body":"With no authority."},{"startTime":647.438,"endTime":648.272,"body":"No authority."},{"startTime":648.272,"endTime":651.275,"body":"I was just like, okay, so what you need"},{"startTime":648.272,"endTime":651.275,"body":"to do is bend and bounce back."},{"startTime":651.275,"endTime":655.988,"body":"And then later I took like a gymnastics"},{"startTime":651.275,"endTime":655.988,"body":"coaching class in college"},{"startTime":655.988,"endTime":657.239,"body":"and the things they were teaching."},{"startTime":657.239,"endTime":659.116,"body":"I was like, Yeah, that makes sense."},{"startTime":659.116,"endTime":660.785,"body":"Yeah, that's what I told my sister."},{"startTime":660.785,"endTime":663.954,"body":"And I was like, But still,"},{"startTime":660.785,"endTime":663.954,"body":"I should have maybe been a little, well,"},{"startTime":664.205,"endTime":665.748,"body":"you know, better supervised and running."},{"startTime":665.748,"endTime":667.708,"body":"What was your like position"},{"startTime":665.748,"endTime":667.708,"body":"in cheerleading?"},{"startTime":667.708,"endTime":670.211,"body":"Were you thrown in the air,"},{"startTime":667.708,"endTime":670.211,"body":"that kind of stuff? Not really."},{"startTime":670.211,"endTime":670.628,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":670.628,"endTime":673.589,"body":"No, I mean, there she was always,"},{"startTime":670.628,"endTime":673.589,"body":"you know what?"},{"startTime":673.589,"endTime":678.01,"body":"In sixth grade,"},{"startTime":673.589,"endTime":678.01,"body":"we had a cheerleading coach, Donna Weaver."},{"startTime":678.01,"endTime":681.013,"body":"I'll say her name now. Carol."},{"startTime":681.138,"endTime":683.14,"body":"She grossly underutilized me."},{"startTime":683.14,"endTime":684.183,"body":"Yeah, Yeah."},{"startTime":684.183,"endTime":685.768,"body":"Because I could jump really high."},{"startTime":685.768,"endTime":687.937,"body":"I could jump higher than anybody"},{"startTime":685.768,"endTime":687.937,"body":"on the squat."},{"startTime":687.937,"endTime":689.814,"body":"And, you know, as bendy, I do splits."},{"startTime":689.814,"endTime":690.94,"body":"I do all kinds of things."},{"startTime":690.94,"endTime":693.275,"body":"So we had to choose that We did."},{"startTime":693.275,"endTime":697.029,"body":"And then there were descending stunts"},{"startTime":693.275,"endTime":697.029,"body":"in both of them."},{"startTime":697.029,"endTime":703.077,"body":"And in one of them they even had somebody,"},{"startTime":697.029,"endTime":703.077,"body":"another cheerleader off on one side,"},{"startTime":703.119,"endTime":706.747,"body":"you know, just doing jumps and kicks"},{"startTime":703.119,"endTime":706.747,"body":"and whatever, you know, vamping that way."},{"startTime":706.747,"endTime":708.124,"body":"And then there's no one on this side."},{"startTime":708.124,"endTime":709.792,"body":"And I'm kneeling here."},{"startTime":709.792,"endTime":711.419,"body":"It's like, what is your point?"},{"startTime":711.419,"endTime":713.129,"body":"Like, What are you doing?"},{"startTime":713.129,"endTime":715.673,"body":"And then later,"},{"startTime":713.129,"endTime":715.673,"body":"we didn't win in cheerleading"},{"startTime":715.673,"endTime":720.553,"body":"competition, of course, because all we did"},{"startTime":715.673,"endTime":720.553,"body":"was like the intro to the Buffy theme."},{"startTime":720.636,"endTime":722.68,"body":"Where do you like dancing to?"},{"startTime":722.68,"endTime":724.306,"body":"Dun dun dun dun dun dun."},{"startTime":724.306,"endTime":725.391,"body":"We did the Buffy thing."},{"startTime":725.391,"endTime":726.934,"body":"That jam Turn it up. Yeah."},{"startTime":726.934,"endTime":728.394,"body":"The same thing that they did."},{"startTime":728.394,"endTime":730.688,"body":"We did that too. Yeah."},{"startTime":730.688,"endTime":731.856,"body":"She got mad at something."},{"startTime":731.856,"endTime":734.442,"body":"Some girl said something"},{"startTime":731.856,"endTime":734.442,"body":"to another cheerleader"},{"startTime":734.442,"endTime":736.986,"body":"and that other cheerleader went"},{"startTime":734.442,"endTime":736.986,"body":"and complained to her."},{"startTime":736.986,"endTime":739.488,"body":"I guess some girl came up was like, Well,"},{"startTime":736.986,"endTime":739.488,"body":"I think Maggie's is the best."},{"startTime":739.488,"endTime":741.949,"body":"And then the other girl laughed"},{"startTime":739.488,"endTime":741.949,"body":"and told the coach."},{"startTime":741.949,"endTime":744.285,"body":"And then apparently it's my fault"},{"startTime":741.949,"endTime":744.285,"body":"that this."},{"startTime":744.285,"endTime":745.536,"body":"And she was like,"},{"startTime":745.536,"endTime":748.33,"body":"you know, people even saying that"},{"startTime":745.536,"endTime":748.33,"body":"it was your fault that we didn't win."},{"startTime":748.33,"endTime":750.958,"body":"I was just like a hold up. Okay."},{"startTime":750.958,"endTime":752.877,"body":"First of all,"},{"startTime":750.958,"endTime":752.877,"body":"I didn't tell anybody to say anything."},{"startTime":752.877,"endTime":754.712,"body":"So somebody said something else"},{"startTime":752.877,"endTime":754.712,"body":"to someone else."},{"startTime":754.712,"endTime":755.755,"body":"That's not my problem."},{"startTime":755.755,"endTime":759.216,"body":"Second of all,"},{"startTime":755.755,"endTime":759.216,"body":"we got video of the competition."},{"startTime":759.3,"endTime":760.968,"body":"And. Go speak with Mrs."},{"startTime":760.968,"endTime":763.429,"body":"Todd. You can see I wasn't smiling, bitch."},{"startTime":763.429,"endTime":764.096,"body":"I was smile."},{"startTime":764.096,"endTime":767.266,"body":"I wasn't smiling when I walked"},{"startTime":764.096,"endTime":767.266,"body":"and go watch the video talking to me."},{"startTime":767.266,"endTime":769.059,"body":"And then she was like,"},{"startTime":767.266,"endTime":769.059,"body":"Oh, yeah, you're actually right."},{"startTime":769.059,"endTime":770.895,"body":"And I was like,"},{"startTime":769.059,"endTime":770.895,"body":"So that's why her name got mentioned."},{"startTime":770.895,"endTime":773.272,"body":"Today's"},{"startTime":773.272,"endTime":774.064,"body":"show is the video."},{"startTime":774.064,"endTime":776.609,"body":"Where is that VHS? Yeah, I mean."},{"startTime":776.609,"endTime":778.527,"body":"Were you in musicals"},{"startTime":776.609,"endTime":778.527,"body":"and plays and stuff in high school."},{"startTime":778.527,"endTime":779.904,"body":"Or choir and stuff?"},{"startTime":779.904,"endTime":783.949,"body":"We didn't have like school plays"},{"startTime":779.904,"endTime":783.949,"body":"or things like that, but like, insane."},{"startTime":784.033,"endTime":789.246,"body":"Oh, I think she hosted a show in Austin"},{"startTime":784.033,"endTime":789.246,"body":"called Called Hashtag Theater."},{"startTime":789.33,"endTime":791.457,"body":"What was it shtick where she'd end it?"},{"startTime":791.457,"endTime":792.917,"body":"She at the beginning of the show,"},{"startTime":792.917,"endTime":796.295,"body":"she'd give the audience"},{"startTime":792.917,"endTime":796.295,"body":"like three options of songs to vote on."},{"startTime":796.378,"endTime":798.13,"body":"I think because you do magic."},{"startTime":798.13,"endTime":800.174,"body":"And then at the end of the show,"},{"startTime":798.13,"endTime":800.174,"body":"she find out which song it was"},{"startTime":800.174,"endTime":801.425,"body":"and then just sing it live, right?"},{"startTime":801.425,"endTime":803.469,"body":"Do a karaoke of something."},{"startTime":803.469,"endTime":807.389,"body":"Like audience suggestion"},{"startTime":803.469,"endTime":807.389,"body":"for this. You'd tear the roof off the"},{"startTime":807.473,"endTime":809.683,"body":"shoe, shoe and nail that would do"},{"startTime":807.473,"endTime":809.683,"body":"the other thing."},{"startTime":809.683,"endTime":811.644,"body":"You'd be like, Oh my God. Like she did it."},{"startTime":811.644,"endTime":815.773,"body":"Like climbing on chairs and stuff and"},{"startTime":811.644,"endTime":815.773,"body":"like, making them crowd surf me and stuff."},{"startTime":815.856,"endTime":818.609,"body":"They just, they just let me do whatever"},{"startTime":818.609,"endTime":818.943,"body":"I should."},{"startTime":818.943,"endTime":824.323,"body":"Be in a place like that. Now,"},{"startTime":824.406,"endTime":825.95,"body":"like you're straight up stand up."},{"startTime":825.95,"endTime":830.162,"body":"You do stand up comedy, but you really"},{"startTime":825.95,"endTime":830.162,"body":"blur and move into like character stuff"},{"startTime":830.162,"endTime":834.083,"body":"or even just like more imaginative"},{"startTime":830.162,"endTime":834.083,"body":"exploratory ways of doing stand up."},{"startTime":834.124,"endTime":835.668,"body":"I look at you as like, being fearless"},{"startTime":835.668,"endTime":837.503,"body":"because I see you change your set"},{"startTime":835.668,"endTime":837.503,"body":"all the time."},{"startTime":837.503,"endTime":839.046,"body":"I see you constantly doing new stuff."},{"startTime":839.046,"endTime":842.007,"body":"I've seen you on the road"},{"startTime":839.046,"endTime":842.007,"body":"and see you like prepare."},{"startTime":842.007,"endTime":845.177,"body":"Like what directs you as a comedian"},{"startTime":842.007,"endTime":845.177,"body":"or like, influences."},{"startTime":845.177,"endTime":847.638,"body":"You seem pretty."},{"startTime":845.177,"endTime":847.638,"body":"Just bold. Like you'll just try anything."},{"startTime":847.638,"endTime":850.808,"body":"Yeah, I need the attention"},{"startTime":850.891,"endTime":853.853,"body":"or whatever to give me that sweet,"},{"startTime":850.891,"endTime":853.853,"body":"sweet attention."},{"startTime":853.853,"endTime":858.19,"body":"But I know I do whatever I want and like,"},{"startTime":853.853,"endTime":858.19,"body":"you can get a laugh, however."},{"startTime":858.19,"endTime":862.695,"body":"And I like not being like everybody else"},{"startTime":858.19,"endTime":862.695,"body":"and just generally being weird."},{"startTime":862.695,"endTime":864.822,"body":"And I luckily that."},{"startTime":864.822,"endTime":867.032,"body":"Works out for me a lot of. The time."},{"startTime":867.032,"endTime":869.326,"body":"But we only knew in high school"},{"startTime":867.032,"endTime":869.326,"body":"that it was okay."},{"startTime":869.326,"endTime":872.413,"body":"I know that got so, like, bankable."},{"startTime":872.496,"endTime":873.998,"body":"See, that's the thing"},{"startTime":872.496,"endTime":873.998,"body":"I hate about social media."},{"startTime":873.998,"endTime":875.833,"body":"To be the oldest person in the room right"},{"startTime":873.998,"endTime":875.833,"body":"now is like,"},{"startTime":875.833,"endTime":880.004,"body":"I see all these amazing, weird"},{"startTime":875.833,"endTime":880.004,"body":"fucking little kids and like, young people"},{"startTime":880.045,"endTime":882.464,"body":"expressing themselves and being artistic"},{"startTime":880.045,"endTime":882.464,"body":"and then they're"},{"startTime":882.464,"endTime":885.551,"body":"just like showing themselves"},{"startTime":882.464,"endTime":885.551,"body":"and it's a it's a great thing."},{"startTime":885.551,"endTime":888.554,"body":"As opposed to the old days where you just"},{"startTime":885.551,"endTime":888.554,"body":"had to, like, stay home with it."},{"startTime":888.554,"endTime":888.846,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":888.846,"endTime":891.682,"body":"Do you take your shows"},{"startTime":888.846,"endTime":891.682,"body":"when you do stuff like comedy sets. Audio."},{"startTime":891.682,"endTime":893.976,"body":"To like go back and look at it and see."},{"startTime":893.976,"endTime":899.106,"body":"Yeah, really see like which tags I did"},{"startTime":893.976,"endTime":899.106,"body":"or what came up in the moment or."},{"startTime":899.148,"endTime":899.857,"body":"Yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":899.857,"endTime":901.567,"body":"It gives me crazy anxiety."},{"startTime":901.567,"endTime":903.611,"body":"I don't love. It. Yeah."},{"startTime":903.611,"endTime":904.987,"body":"I really don't love it."},{"startTime":904.987,"endTime":906.572,"body":"Having to hear your voice back."},{"startTime":906.572,"endTime":908.866,"body":"I'm like, How do I have friends?"},{"startTime":908.866,"endTime":910.534,"body":"Haha yeah, why."},{"startTime":910.534,"endTime":912.494,"body":"Would you voluntarily listen to this?"},{"startTime":912.494,"endTime":914.079,"body":"It's just yeah,"},{"startTime":914.079,"endTime":914.914,"body":"I just did a show with Laura"},{"startTime":914.914,"endTime":918.208,"body":"and I've been a minute since I did a show"},{"startTime":914.914,"endTime":918.208,"body":"with her and Laura's voices."},{"startTime":918.208,"endTime":920.669,"body":"Hypnotic? Yeah, on the P.A.."},{"startTime":920.669,"endTime":921.795,"body":"I loved me."},{"startTime":921.795,"endTime":922.546,"body":"End of this. Like weird?"},{"startTime":922.546,"endTime":925.549,"body":"You mean monotone? No, not at all."},{"startTime":925.758,"endTime":927.676,"body":"Very soothing. I'm very."},{"startTime":927.676,"endTime":928.594,"body":"I was just like."},{"startTime":928.594,"endTime":931.764,"body":"I was like, what is this blurry sensation"},{"startTime":928.594,"endTime":931.764,"body":"I feel is great."},{"startTime":931.764,"endTime":934.224,"body":"Did you have fun? No, I didn't."},{"startTime":934.224,"endTime":938.354,"body":"I I've been for, like, going on, like,"},{"startTime":934.224,"endTime":938.354,"body":"Well, I have to bring this up."},{"startTime":938.354,"endTime":941.857,"body":"Every fucking podcast I had,"},{"startTime":938.354,"endTime":941.857,"body":"I had a brain aneurysm, but before that"},{"startTime":941.857,"endTime":946.57,"body":"I was still trying to do a 45 minute"},{"startTime":941.857,"endTime":946.57,"body":"set, a solid 45 minutes, and either"},{"startTime":946.57,"endTime":950.616,"body":"I can't remember it or the old shit"},{"startTime":946.57,"endTime":950.616,"body":"I don't want to do anymore."},{"startTime":950.824,"endTime":954.578,"body":"So then it's like every time"},{"startTime":950.824,"endTime":954.578,"body":"it gets shorter and shorter, the harder"},{"startTime":954.578,"endTime":956.121,"body":"I try to get it longer. Here's what we do."},{"startTime":956.121,"endTime":960.167,"body":"We're going to sign"},{"startTime":956.121,"endTime":960.167,"body":"you up for an 80 minute show"},{"startTime":960.25,"endTime":961.293,"body":"and then, by God."},{"startTime":961.293,"endTime":962.586,"body":"I take a nap in the. Middle."},{"startTime":962.586,"endTime":966.173,"body":"But you'll get"},{"startTime":962.586,"endTime":966.173,"body":"you'll get to 40 if the goal is 80."},{"startTime":966.173,"endTime":968.05,"body":"Do you know what I mean?"},{"startTime":966.173,"endTime":968.05,"body":"Yeah, you're right."},{"startTime":968.05,"endTime":969.009,"body":"There's stuff that way."},{"startTime":969.009,"endTime":971.804,"body":"Yeah, well, because we were talking"},{"startTime":969.009,"endTime":971.804,"body":"about the mental space."},{"startTime":971.804,"endTime":974.974,"body":"If there's not a clock,"},{"startTime":971.804,"endTime":974.974,"body":"or if you're someone who is like a rule"},{"startTime":974.974,"endTime":979.603,"body":"regulated set somewhere after 20 minutes,"},{"startTime":974.974,"endTime":979.603,"body":"mentally, it's like no man's land, right?"},{"startTime":979.603,"endTime":982.481,"body":"You're like, Have I been here 100 years"},{"startTime":979.603,"endTime":982.481,"body":"or am I under time?"},{"startTime":982.481,"endTime":983.565,"body":"Like, it's the worst feeling."},{"startTime":983.565,"endTime":987.444,"body":"For as long as I've done this,"},{"startTime":983.565,"endTime":987.444,"body":"my sense of time is still shit."},{"startTime":987.486,"endTime":989.279,"body":"I had no idea."},{"startTime":989.279,"endTime":991.198,"body":"I'll be like, Wait, that's the light."},{"startTime":991.198,"endTime":995.035,"body":"I have like nine more jokes in this 15"},{"startTime":991.198,"endTime":995.035,"body":"minute chat."},{"startTime":995.035,"endTime":996.829,"body":"What are you talking about?"},{"startTime":996.829,"endTime":999.873,"body":"Is that I used to have it down when Dustin"},{"startTime":999.999,"endTime":1003.127,"body":"said, like, would do like our FBI tapes"},{"startTime":999.999,"endTime":1003.127,"body":"every single time."},{"startTime":1003.127,"endTime":1006.38,"body":"At the end, you have 6 minutes"},{"startTime":1003.127,"endTime":1006.38,"body":"to do whatever your best fucking thing"},{"startTime":1006.38,"endTime":1008.298,"body":"is every single time."},{"startTime":1006.38,"endTime":1008.298,"body":"At the end of my set, I go, Thanks."},{"startTime":1008.298,"endTime":1009.341,"body":"I'm ready. I'm Daniel Webb."},{"startTime":1009.341,"endTime":1011.552,"body":"At the end of the clock. It's 559."},{"startTime":1011.552,"endTime":1013.137,"body":"I'm like, mother fucker."},{"startTime":1013.137,"endTime":1014.555,"body":"And now I'm just like, I don't know."},{"startTime":1014.555,"endTime":1018.058,"body":"It's like my brain has been erased"},{"startTime":1014.555,"endTime":1018.058,"body":"to cover, to raise your brain."},{"startTime":1018.058,"endTime":1020.894,"body":"It did me"},{"startTime":1018.058,"endTime":1020.894,"body":"Was that just getting older during COVID?"},{"startTime":1020.894,"endTime":1022.604,"body":"I feel like."},{"startTime":1022.604,"endTime":1024.565,"body":"Because we're age approximate."},{"startTime":1024.565,"endTime":1025.649,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1025.649,"endTime":1029.361,"body":"Koven Maybe reset my brain. Mm."},{"startTime":1029.445,"endTime":1031.697,"body":"I know your sleep schedules"},{"startTime":1029.445,"endTime":1031.697,"body":"and important thing."},{"startTime":1031.697,"endTime":1032.406,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":1032.406,"endTime":1035.826,"body":"And in COVID, I just was like,"},{"startTime":1032.406,"endTime":1035.826,"body":"I can go to sleep whenever, right?"},{"startTime":1035.826,"endTime":1038.245,"body":"If I'm tired and I lay down,"},{"startTime":1035.826,"endTime":1038.245,"body":"put a blanket on, I'm asleep."},{"startTime":1038.245,"endTime":1038.954,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1038.954,"endTime":1041.54,"body":"So I just would go to sleep"},{"startTime":1038.954,"endTime":1041.54,"body":"whenever I wanted to"},{"startTime":1041.54,"endTime":1043.083,"body":"and then wake up whenever I wanted to."},{"startTime":1043.083,"endTime":1045.252,"body":"And when I was awake"},{"startTime":1043.083,"endTime":1045.252,"body":"I would just do stuff."},{"startTime":1045.252,"endTime":1047.421,"body":"And so I just never knew what time it was."},{"startTime":1047.421,"endTime":1049.882,"body":"Oh yeah. And I just lived my life"},{"startTime":1047.421,"endTime":1049.882,"body":"that way."},{"startTime":1049.882,"endTime":1054.053,"body":"And it was fun because when you have"},{"startTime":1049.882,"endTime":1054.053,"body":"streaming, you never which is like"},{"startTime":1054.136,"endTime":1058.098,"body":"if you think about it, like that's"},{"startTime":1054.136,"endTime":1058.098,"body":"how you drive someone insane in prison"},{"startTime":1058.098,"endTime":1061.81,"body":"is you close all the windows,"},{"startTime":1058.098,"endTime":1061.81,"body":"not let them know what time it is."},{"startTime":1061.894,"endTime":1064.98,"body":"And I just didn't like I was like,"},{"startTime":1061.894,"endTime":1064.98,"body":"This is bad ass."},{"startTime":1065.022,"endTime":1067.858,"body":"I don't know when it is right"},{"startTime":1065.022,"endTime":1067.858,"body":"now. It's just a. Way."},{"startTime":1067.858,"endTime":1069.943,"body":"This is cool. Do you want to go outside?"},{"startTime":1069.943,"endTime":1072.946,"body":"I'll have a go outside."},{"startTime":1069.943,"endTime":1072.946,"body":"And I'd be like, Oh, it's day."},{"startTime":1072.988,"endTime":1074.073,"body":"It just so."},{"startTime":1074.073,"endTime":1076.366,"body":"I mean, that couldn't have been healthy."},{"startTime":1076.366,"endTime":1078.869,"body":"It couldn't have been good."},{"startTime":1078.869,"endTime":1083.999,"body":"You know, I, I was very isolated too,"},{"startTime":1078.869,"endTime":1083.999,"body":"and it didn't feel as bad at the time,"},{"startTime":1083.999,"endTime":1085.834,"body":"but it's like later coming out of it,"},{"startTime":1083.999,"endTime":1085.834,"body":"you're like, Oh,"},{"startTime":1085.834,"endTime":1088.045,"body":"I think that really did a number on me."},{"startTime":1085.834,"endTime":1088.045,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1088.045,"endTime":1090.005,"body":"Like as far as just like my social skills"},{"startTime":1088.045,"endTime":1090.005,"body":"and like, getting."},{"startTime":1090.005,"endTime":1093.092,"body":"Yeah, like used to being in crowds. Yeah."},{"startTime":1093.092,"endTime":1093.926,"body":"All that. Shit."},{"startTime":1093.926,"endTime":1095.219,"body":"I feel like I've been pretty lucky."},{"startTime":1095.219,"endTime":1097.346,"body":"I've always like, kind of worked at night"},{"startTime":1095.219,"endTime":1097.346,"body":"either."},{"startTime":1097.346,"endTime":1101.183,"body":"Like doing stand up or like, doing"},{"startTime":1097.346,"endTime":1101.183,"body":"punch up on shows that starts at 5 p.m.."},{"startTime":1101.183,"endTime":1103.268,"body":"But yeah, I still have friends"},{"startTime":1101.183,"endTime":1103.268,"body":"who would call at ten."},{"startTime":1103.268,"endTime":1106.063,"body":"Are you still asleep? Yes."},{"startTime":1103.268,"endTime":1106.063,"body":"How long have you known me?"},{"startTime":1106.063,"endTime":1107.147,"body":"Of course I'm still asleep."},{"startTime":1107.147,"endTime":1109.566,"body":"I'm going to be asleep"},{"startTime":1107.147,"endTime":1109.566,"body":"until probably 11 or noon."},{"startTime":1109.566,"endTime":1110.484,"body":"And you know."},{"startTime":1110.484,"endTime":1114.363,"body":"I miss that being like a teenager"},{"startTime":1110.484,"endTime":1114.363,"body":"who slept till noon and it felt great."},{"startTime":1114.404,"endTime":1117.241,"body":"There wasn't like, Oh,"},{"startTime":1114.404,"endTime":1117.241,"body":"I've wasted my life or anything like that."},{"startTime":1117.241,"endTime":1119.785,"body":"I miss also staying up late"},{"startTime":1117.241,"endTime":1119.785,"body":"and I love getting emails from Laura"},{"startTime":1119.785,"endTime":1122.162,"body":"because they're always after midnight."},{"startTime":1119.785,"endTime":1122.162,"body":"Yeah, Yeah."},{"startTime":1122.162,"endTime":1123.247,"body":"All right."},{"startTime":1123.247,"endTime":1127.292,"body":"What's the tick tock you send me about"},{"startTime":1123.247,"endTime":1127.292,"body":"the long arm dance that David was doing?"},{"startTime":1127.292,"endTime":1129.294,"body":"Oh, we have long arms."},{"startTime":1129.294,"endTime":1133.507,"body":"It's called your ape index or Da Vinci's"},{"startTime":1129.294,"endTime":1133.507,"body":"Vitruvian Man."},{"startTime":1133.549,"endTime":1138.387,"body":"Your height should be the same"},{"startTime":1133.549,"endTime":1138.387,"body":"as your wingspan from tip of your fingers."},{"startTime":1138.387,"endTime":1140.472,"body":"And mine is the same as Michael Phelps."},{"startTime":1140.472,"endTime":1142.349,"body":"I like to brag about it because I."},{"startTime":1142.349,"endTime":1146.436,"body":"My wingspan is three inches"},{"startTime":1142.349,"endTime":1146.436,"body":"longer than my height is, you know."},{"startTime":1146.52,"endTime":1150.107,"body":"My wingspan on is longer than my height"},{"startTime":1150.19,"endTime":1153.36,"body":"by a lot like my"},{"startTime":1150.19,"endTime":1153.36,"body":"doctor called in the nurse to come see me."},{"startTime":1153.443,"endTime":1156.572,"body":"I thought I had Marfan syndrome"},{"startTime":1153.443,"endTime":1156.572,"body":"because of that."},{"startTime":1156.572,"endTime":1157.364,"body":"I do not."},{"startTime":1157.364,"endTime":1159.867,"body":"But they were like,"},{"startTime":1157.364,"endTime":1159.867,"body":"There is no way this is not a."},{"startTime":1159.867,"endTime":1161.493,"body":"16 year wait."},{"startTime":1161.493,"endTime":1164.371,"body":"What is the syndrome"},{"startTime":1161.493,"endTime":1164.371,"body":"they thought you had? Marfan syndrome."},{"startTime":1164.371,"endTime":1164.872,"body":"Is that."},{"startTime":1164.872,"endTime":1167.958,"body":"It's like a heart"},{"startTime":1164.872,"endTime":1167.958,"body":"connective tissue or something."},{"startTime":1167.958,"endTime":1170.085,"body":"It makes your hands long make your arms."},{"startTime":1170.085,"endTime":1173.672,"body":"But like one of the signs is like,"},{"startTime":1170.085,"endTime":1173.672,"body":"really long, lanky arms and like,"},{"startTime":1173.839,"endTime":1174.673,"body":"being really tall."},{"startTime":1174.673,"endTime":1178.343,"body":"And I was like, I'm not tall enough"},{"startTime":1174.673,"endTime":1178.343,"body":"for what my arms are beautiful arms."},{"startTime":1178.343,"endTime":1181.221,"body":"I know every man you're stretching very."},{"startTime":1181.221,"endTime":1182.264,"body":"Very delicate. I know."},{"startTime":1182.264,"endTime":1182.89,"body":"So you after."},{"startTime":1182.89,"endTime":1185.934,"body":"But it's like, what's the different things"},{"startTime":1182.89,"endTime":1185.934,"body":"from looking at things?"},{"startTime":1186.143,"endTime":1187.561,"body":"Yeah, it's more than it should be."},{"startTime":1187.561,"endTime":1189.938,"body":"I feel unqualified to sit at this table."},{"startTime":1189.938,"endTime":1192.357,"body":"You're not."},{"startTime":1189.938,"endTime":1192.357,"body":"Not with two long arm girls like."},{"startTime":1192.357,"endTime":1193.525,"body":"I know. I feel like there should be."},{"startTime":1193.525,"endTime":1196.069,"body":"If there was a fire,"},{"startTime":1193.525,"endTime":1196.069,"body":"I somehow I'd make it to the bottom floor"},{"startTime":1196.069,"endTime":1198.822,"body":"safely between the two of you."},{"startTime":1198.906,"endTime":1201.158,"body":"We would fall over each other."},{"startTime":1201.158,"endTime":1202.492,"body":"But, Maggie, at."},{"startTime":1202.492,"endTime":1204.119,"body":"Least you know she was a cheerleader."},{"startTime":1204.119,"endTime":1206.914,"body":"So you probably have a better balance."},{"startTime":1206.914,"endTime":1209.958,"body":"Because you when I met you,"},{"startTime":1206.914,"endTime":1209.958,"body":"like I said, you like you were, like, up."},{"startTime":1209.958,"endTime":1211.21,"body":"I mean, you're always"},{"startTime":1209.958,"endTime":1211.21,"body":"the same comedian, but."},{"startTime":1211.21,"endTime":1212.502,"body":"And I said, you certainly were."},{"startTime":1212.502,"endTime":1213.462,"body":"You were the first person"},{"startTime":1213.462,"endTime":1216.924,"body":"to make it to like, late night"},{"startTime":1213.462,"endTime":1216.924,"body":"and make it out of Austin."},{"startTime":1217.007,"endTime":1217.549,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":1217.549,"endTime":1219.885,"body":"You were definitely no one else. Yeah,"},{"startTime":1217.549,"endTime":1219.885,"body":"I think."},{"startTime":1219.885,"endTime":1221.929,"body":"Oh, Martha Kelly."},{"startTime":1221.929,"endTime":1223.263,"body":"Really? Yeah."},{"startTime":1223.263,"endTime":1224.223,"body":"Have you met Martha Kelly?"},{"startTime":1224.223,"endTime":1227.267,"body":"No, but I loved her on baskets. Yes."},{"startTime":1227.267,"endTime":1230.062,"body":"She's so great. Maggie,"},{"startTime":1227.267,"endTime":1230.062,"body":"I saw your set, by the way. I cried."},{"startTime":1230.062,"endTime":1231.48,"body":"I remember how great it was."},{"startTime":1231.48,"endTime":1233.273,"body":"It was amazing."},{"startTime":1231.48,"endTime":1233.273,"body":"It was really. Good. Thank you."},{"startTime":1233.273,"endTime":1236.902,"body":"We all watched at a bar, like, at home"},{"startTime":1233.273,"endTime":1236.902,"body":"and, like, cheered on Maggie."},{"startTime":1236.902,"endTime":1239.863,"body":"What was that like"},{"startTime":1236.902,"endTime":1239.863,"body":"coming from Austin, too?"},{"startTime":1239.863,"endTime":1241.365,"body":"Because that was in L.A., right?"},{"startTime":1241.365,"endTime":1242.699,"body":"Or New York. Is in L.A.."},{"startTime":1242.699,"endTime":1244.576,"body":"Okay. So that was it for the TBS show."},{"startTime":1244.576,"endTime":1246.328,"body":"Yes. Okay. Yeah. What was that like?"},{"startTime":1246.328,"endTime":1247.579,"body":"I've never really talk to you about it"},{"startTime":1247.579,"endTime":1250.332,"body":"because we are all screaming at the bar"},{"startTime":1247.579,"endTime":1250.332,"body":"like we were so proud."},{"startTime":1250.332,"endTime":1253.335,"body":"We were so happy. Everything was so. Yeah,"},{"startTime":1250.332,"endTime":1253.335,"body":"it was so exciting."},{"startTime":1253.335,"endTime":1257.881,"body":"It was so exciting because it was such"},{"startTime":1253.335,"endTime":1257.881,"body":"like a big deal for me,"},{"startTime":1258.048,"endTime":1260.634,"body":"you know, like being on television"},{"startTime":1258.048,"endTime":1260.634,"body":"on a show"},{"startTime":1260.634,"endTime":1264.805,"body":"that I had grown up"},{"startTime":1260.634,"endTime":1264.805,"body":"watching, you know, and grown up loving."},{"startTime":1264.805,"endTime":1268.809,"body":"And I remember it being such a huge deal"},{"startTime":1264.805,"endTime":1268.809,"body":"and like, meaning so much to me."},{"startTime":1268.809,"endTime":1271.812,"body":"And like,"},{"startTime":1268.809,"endTime":1271.812,"body":"I remember after getting the first laugh"},{"startTime":1271.853,"endTime":1274.94,"body":"and then getting the feeling of like, Oh,"},{"startTime":1271.853,"endTime":1274.94,"body":"I know what this is."},{"startTime":1274.94,"endTime":1277.442,"body":"I know what I'm doing. Like,"},{"startTime":1274.94,"endTime":1277.442,"body":"this is not anything."},{"startTime":1277.442,"endTime":1278.86,"body":"I know what's going on now."},{"startTime":1278.86,"endTime":1281.697,"body":"And like,"},{"startTime":1278.86,"endTime":1281.697,"body":"it was just such a rush, you know."},{"startTime":1281.697,"endTime":1283.782,"body":"She seems"},{"startTime":1281.697,"endTime":1283.782,"body":"so you just seem like so professional."},{"startTime":1283.782,"endTime":1287.035,"body":"Relax on her set, you just showed up to do"},{"startTime":1283.782,"endTime":1287.035,"body":"exactly what you did."},{"startTime":1287.077,"endTime":1289.121,"body":"Is your sister a performer? Also her?"},{"startTime":1289.121,"endTime":1290.747,"body":"One of my sisters is so."},{"startTime":1290.747,"endTime":1293.417,"body":"And it's three girls. Three girls,"},{"startTime":1290.747,"endTime":1293.417,"body":"Two boys. Oh, okay."},{"startTime":1293.417,"endTime":1296.545,"body":"Which is why I do stand up."},{"startTime":1296.628,"endTime":1297.421,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1297.421,"endTime":1298.13,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1298.13,"endTime":1302.342,"body":"It's either only kids or kids in"},{"startTime":1298.13,"endTime":1302.342,"body":"big family need to stand out."},{"startTime":1302.426,"endTime":1303.552,"body":"It seems like, you know, my."},{"startTime":1303.552,"endTime":1306.346,"body":"Older sisters, like you just"},{"startTime":1303.552,"endTime":1306.346,"body":"didn't get enough hugs, did. You?"},{"startTime":1306.346,"endTime":1308.598,"body":"I never enough."},{"startTime":1308.598,"endTime":1311.351,"body":"My cousin has five kids"},{"startTime":1308.598,"endTime":1311.351,"body":"and the baby is the funniest."},{"startTime":1311.351,"endTime":1313.27,"body":"And I guess the only way she'll be heard."},{"startTime":1313.27,"endTime":1316.398,"body":"No, when she's not being funny"},{"startTime":1313.27,"endTime":1316.398,"body":"until she says something."},{"startTime":1316.398,"endTime":1318.859,"body":"I remember like looks and notice"},{"startTime":1316.398,"endTime":1318.859,"body":"that she's in the room."},{"startTime":1318.859,"endTime":1320.402,"body":"Oh, Maggie's got a big family."},{"startTime":1320.402,"endTime":1322.237,"body":"She's like,"},{"startTime":1320.402,"endTime":1322.237,"body":"I don't know, Coming to Laura's house,"},{"startTime":1322.237,"endTime":1324.323,"body":"you never really leave"},{"startTime":1322.237,"endTime":1324.323,"body":"without something in your hand."},{"startTime":1324.323,"endTime":1327.075,"body":"But Maggie always gives you something"},{"startTime":1324.323,"endTime":1327.075,"body":"that her mom like."},{"startTime":1327.075,"endTime":1328.493,"body":"She's like, my mom sent me seven bags."},{"startTime":1328.493,"endTime":1330.412,"body":"Here's one right."},{"startTime":1330.412,"endTime":1332.956,"body":"Or a cake. Your mom sent me a cake? Yeah."},{"startTime":1332.956,"endTime":1334.124,"body":"I asked my mom."},{"startTime":1334.124,"endTime":1337.085,"body":"I was like, Will you give me the recipe"},{"startTime":1334.124,"endTime":1337.085,"body":"so I don't have to keep calling you"},{"startTime":1337.085,"endTime":1340.589,"body":"and asking you to send me"},{"startTime":1337.085,"endTime":1340.589,"body":"cakes for my friend's birthday."},{"startTime":1340.63,"endTime":1341.506,"body":"And she's like, No."},{"startTime":1341.506,"endTime":1344.426,"body":"My. Recipe"},{"startTime":1341.506,"endTime":1344.426,"body":"and I'll just send you a cake. Yes."},{"startTime":1344.426,"endTime":1348.347,"body":"Oh, sent me"},{"startTime":1344.426,"endTime":1348.347,"body":"a crazy and I ate the whole cake."},{"startTime":1348.388,"endTime":1348.847,"body":"I don't know."},{"startTime":1348.847,"endTime":1349.681,"body":"That's one of the benefits of."},{"startTime":1349.681,"endTime":1352.893,"body":"Living as we're sitting here"},{"startTime":1349.681,"endTime":1352.893,"body":"and thinking like Maggie's arms look"},{"startTime":1352.893,"endTime":1356.229,"body":"great Of all the shirts I have to give her"},{"startTime":1352.893,"endTime":1356.229,"body":"because I look like a skeleton."},{"startTime":1356.229,"endTime":1356.98,"body":"What?"},{"startTime":1356.98,"endTime":1357.773,"body":"Your arms."},{"startTime":1357.773,"endTime":1360.609,"body":"Yeah. Good. No, Maggie's very stylish."},{"startTime":1360.609,"endTime":1361.526,"body":"Yeah. Oh, thank. You."},{"startTime":1361.526,"endTime":1362.652,"body":"You have a lot of clothes?"},{"startTime":1362.652,"endTime":1367.491,"body":"Yeah, I guess I operate"},{"startTime":1362.652,"endTime":1367.491,"body":"on a large level of working clothes."},{"startTime":1367.574,"endTime":1368.116,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":1368.116,"endTime":1369.993,"body":"I always have a large amount of clothes."},{"startTime":1369.993,"endTime":1373.121,"body":"I'm trying to give away, like,"},{"startTime":1369.993,"endTime":1373.121,"body":"too many clothes."},{"startTime":1373.121,"endTime":1376.124,"body":"And then I'll get a bunch more clothes"},{"startTime":1373.121,"endTime":1376.124,"body":"and then just give more away."},{"startTime":1376.124,"endTime":1378.251,"body":"It's like a good revolving closet."},{"startTime":1378.251,"endTime":1379.503,"body":"Are you a Gemini?"},{"startTime":1379.503,"endTime":1381.296,"body":"No. Okay, Because I thought."},{"startTime":1381.296,"endTime":1383.298,"body":"Because I feel like I do."},{"startTime":1381.296,"endTime":1383.298,"body":"Exactly the same thing."},{"startTime":1383.298,"endTime":1384.674,"body":"I'll give something away,"},{"startTime":1383.298,"endTime":1384.674,"body":"because then I think."},{"startTime":1384.674,"endTime":1385.967,"body":"Then I can buy something else."},{"startTime":1385.967,"endTime":1388.303,"body":"Or I'll find something else. Like,"},{"startTime":1385.967,"endTime":1388.303,"body":"you know."},{"startTime":1388.303,"endTime":1390.347,"body":"Every time I'm away or something."},{"startTime":1390.347,"endTime":1393.141,"body":"Yeah, you're. My. Okay,"},{"startTime":1390.347,"endTime":1393.141,"body":"We toured together."},{"startTime":1393.141,"endTime":1394.768,"body":"That was fun. Have you, like, going on?"},{"startTime":1394.768,"endTime":1398.814,"body":"And you just recorded"},{"startTime":1394.768,"endTime":1398.814,"body":"a fucking special in Montana. Wow."},{"startTime":1398.897,"endTime":1401.566,"body":"When will that be out?"},{"startTime":1398.897,"endTime":1401.566,"body":"Hopefully as soon as possible."},{"startTime":1401.566,"endTime":1404.027,"body":"There's still some work on the back end"},{"startTime":1401.566,"endTime":1404.027,"body":"that I need to do,"},{"startTime":1404.027,"endTime":1406.988,"body":"but trying to get it out"},{"startTime":1404.027,"endTime":1406.988,"body":"just as quickly as we can."},{"startTime":1406.988,"endTime":1411.451,"body":"We're all working on"},{"startTime":1406.988,"endTime":1411.451,"body":"our back end, but back that."},{"startTime":1411.535,"endTime":1413.829,"body":"Yeah, but"},{"startTime":1413.829,"endTime":1414.871,"body":"I don't even. Look back. There."},{"startTime":1414.871,"endTime":1416.289,"body":"I don't know."},{"startTime":1416.289,"endTime":1417.124,"body":"I don't know what's going on."},{"startTime":1417.124,"endTime":1419.835,"body":"It's none of my business. Laura."},{"startTime":1419.835,"endTime":1423.505,"body":"With your long arms, get a mirror"},{"startTime":1419.835,"endTime":1423.505,"body":"and you can see everything."},{"startTime":1423.588,"endTime":1425.006,"body":"You can see the whole starlight."},{"startTime":1425.006,"endTime":1428.802,"body":"Do I feel like I should just get, like,"},{"startTime":1425.006,"endTime":1428.802,"body":"a tray and let everything fall into it?"},{"startTime":1428.802,"endTime":1429.761,"body":"I'll put a tray around my."},{"startTime":1429.761,"endTime":1431.388,"body":"Way, but around my."},{"startTime":1431.388,"endTime":1434.182,"body":"Knees sick and I couldn't. Give a shit."},{"startTime":1434.182,"endTime":1435.392,"body":"That's the way. But."},{"startTime":1435.392,"endTime":1436.476,"body":"Okay. So you were."},{"startTime":1436.476,"endTime":1439.271,"body":"Were you part of a comedy festival"},{"startTime":1436.476,"endTime":1439.271,"body":"or you were there?"},{"startTime":1439.271,"endTime":1441.94,"body":"You just chose Montana"},{"startTime":1439.271,"endTime":1441.94,"body":"to do a standup special."},{"startTime":1441.94,"endTime":1444.943,"body":"That's the one that lined up. Okay. Yeah."},{"startTime":1445.11,"endTime":1446.778,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1446.778,"endTime":1449.114,"body":"But like, talk about that"},{"startTime":1446.778,"endTime":1449.114,"body":"because it's even hard enough."},{"startTime":1449.114,"endTime":1452.117,"body":"I feel like anywhere to organize a show,"},{"startTime":1449.114,"endTime":1452.117,"body":"let alone one that you want"},{"startTime":1452.117,"endTime":1454.035,"body":"to, like, share with an audience"},{"startTime":1452.117,"endTime":1454.035,"body":"and share with the world."},{"startTime":1454.035,"endTime":1456.913,"body":"Like,"},{"startTime":1454.035,"endTime":1456.913,"body":"that's a bold choice. Yeah. Good time."},{"startTime":1456.913,"endTime":1457.956,"body":"It was great."},{"startTime":1457.956,"endTime":1461.251,"body":"I was very concerned"},{"startTime":1457.956,"endTime":1461.251,"body":"because I couldn't do it in Austin"},{"startTime":1461.334,"endTime":1465.422,"body":"because they recorded the Helium label"},{"startTime":1465.505,"endTime":1467.549,"body":"and I had already signed with"},{"startTime":1467.549,"endTime":1471.261,"body":"another label, so"},{"startTime":1467.549,"endTime":1471.261,"body":"it just wasn't going to be able to happen."},{"startTime":1471.261,"endTime":1474.014,"body":"And then like some dates"},{"startTime":1471.261,"endTime":1474.014,"body":"with some other clubs didn't work."},{"startTime":1474.014,"endTime":1478.477,"body":"And then my friend Gareth Reynolds"},{"startTime":1474.014,"endTime":1478.477,"body":"recommended like a list of places"},{"startTime":1478.477,"endTime":1482.481,"body":"and like last Best Comedy in"},{"startTime":1478.477,"endTime":1482.481,"body":"Montana was like one of his favorites"},{"startTime":1482.481,"endTime":1484.608,"body":"and everything got together"},{"startTime":1482.481,"endTime":1484.608,"body":"and I was like, Okay, this is great."},{"startTime":1484.608,"endTime":1485.358,"body":"This is going to be great."},{"startTime":1485.358,"endTime":1489.905,"body":"And then like a week before, I was just"},{"startTime":1485.358,"endTime":1489.905,"body":"like, Holy shit, this is Montana."},{"startTime":1489.988,"endTime":1491.74,"body":"I should maybe do some reasons."},{"startTime":1491.74,"endTime":1493.241,"body":"Of course Gareth is going to like it."},{"startTime":1493.241,"endTime":1494.951,"body":"He's a blond haired, blue eyed white."},{"startTime":1494.951,"endTime":1499.873,"body":"Guy and he's like,"},{"startTime":1494.951,"endTime":1499.873,"body":"This might be very different for me."},{"startTime":1499.956,"endTime":1502.209,"body":"But it. Was incredible."},{"startTime":1502.209,"endTime":1506.087,"body":"Like I spoke to some other comics before"},{"startTime":1502.209,"endTime":1506.087,"body":"I got there and, you know, kind of"},{"startTime":1506.087,"endTime":1507.088,"body":"got the idea of,"},{"startTime":1507.088,"endTime":1510.133,"body":"you know, the people, you know,"},{"startTime":1507.088,"endTime":1510.133,"body":"who live there and would come to the club."},{"startTime":1510.133,"endTime":1512.385,"body":"And I mean, the crowds"},{"startTime":1510.133,"endTime":1512.385,"body":"couldn't have been better."},{"startTime":1512.385,"endTime":1514.179,"body":"Like they could not have been better."},{"startTime":1514.179,"endTime":1515.388,"body":"Once you were on the ground,"},{"startTime":1515.388,"endTime":1517.682,"body":"did you change your approach in any way"},{"startTime":1515.388,"endTime":1517.682,"body":"or were you"},{"startTime":1517.682,"endTime":1519.893,"body":"just like you felt more confident"},{"startTime":1517.682,"endTime":1519.893,"body":"about what you came in with?"},{"startTime":1519.893,"endTime":1521.686,"body":"Was did you feel like you had to adjust?"},{"startTime":1521.686,"endTime":1527.567,"body":"No, I was pretty like hard lined with what"},{"startTime":1521.686,"endTime":1527.567,"body":"I was going to do, and I was like, okay,"},{"startTime":1527.567,"endTime":1530.612,"body":"I hope this all goes well"},{"startTime":1527.567,"endTime":1530.612,"body":"or else is going to be a chunk missing."},{"startTime":1530.654,"endTime":1531.905,"body":"Because that's the scarier part,"},{"startTime":1531.905,"endTime":1534.282,"body":"especially when you're trying"},{"startTime":1531.905,"endTime":1534.282,"body":"to get like new stuff out."},{"startTime":1534.282,"endTime":1536.535,"body":"Not that's the first time"},{"startTime":1534.282,"endTime":1536.535,"body":"you said these things, but you're like,"},{"startTime":1536.535,"endTime":1540.372,"body":"okay, if they don't like this,"},{"startTime":1536.535,"endTime":1540.372,"body":"then there goes that other 15 minutes."},{"startTime":1540.497,"endTime":1540.83,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1540.83,"endTime":1544.543,"body":"Like I feel there's a feeling of like"},{"startTime":1540.83,"endTime":1544.543,"body":"they've got to be invested at"},{"startTime":1544.543,"endTime":1545.627,"body":"a certain point"},{"startTime":1545.627,"endTime":1548.588,"body":"because otherwise you're just like"},{"startTime":1545.627,"endTime":1548.588,"body":"feeding them what they don't want."},{"startTime":1548.588,"endTime":1551.299,"body":"But luckily that wasn't the case."},{"startTime":1551.299,"endTime":1554.886,"body":"You know, I feel like they used to say,"},{"startTime":1551.299,"endTime":1554.886,"body":"you know, read the room or whatever."},{"startTime":1554.886,"endTime":1556.471,"body":"Even if I could read the room."},{"startTime":1556.471,"endTime":1559.599,"body":"Yeah, you know, it it's like, Oh,"},{"startTime":1556.471,"endTime":1559.599,"body":"the Christian Coalition is out here."},{"startTime":1559.599,"endTime":1562.852,"body":"Okay, well,"},{"startTime":1559.599,"endTime":1562.852,"body":"then I have nothing to say. Yeah. I"},{"startTime":1562.936,"endTime":1565.48,"body":"can't do my."},{"startTime":1565.48,"endTime":1566.439,"body":"And so."},{"startTime":1566.439,"endTime":1567.816,"body":"I read the room and."},{"startTime":1567.816,"endTime":1570.402,"body":"I did and they said, read the Bible."},{"startTime":1570.402,"endTime":1572.571,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":1572.571,"endTime":1573.822,"body":"Like Jesus."},{"startTime":1573.822,"endTime":1574.155,"body":"Times."},{"startTime":1574.155,"endTime":1577.701,"body":"I'll read the room and be like,"},{"startTime":1574.155,"endTime":1577.701,"body":"Hmm, y'all aren't going to like this."},{"startTime":1577.784,"endTime":1579.869,"body":"Well, here it goes. Yeah."},{"startTime":1579.869,"endTime":1582.581,"body":"Couple of y'all. Will be okay with it."},{"startTime":1579.869,"endTime":1582.581,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1582.581,"endTime":1584.207,"body":"I misread the room all the time."},{"startTime":1584.207,"endTime":1586.71,"body":"I did a bare convention. Oh, man."},{"startTime":1586.71,"endTime":1588.169,"body":"Just a few months ago."},{"startTime":1588.169,"endTime":1590.255,"body":"And there were just a few times"},{"startTime":1588.169,"endTime":1590.255,"body":"where you got groans."},{"startTime":1590.255,"endTime":1591.756,"body":"I was like, How's the old bear going?"},{"startTime":1591.756,"endTime":1595.76,"body":"A grown ass like a gay"},{"startTime":1591.756,"endTime":1595.76,"body":"centric joke, right?"},{"startTime":1595.76,"endTime":1598.513,"body":"Yeah. I don't know. My Princess"},{"startTime":1595.76,"endTime":1598.513,"body":"Diana material killed."},{"startTime":1598.513,"endTime":1601.975,"body":"Go figure,"},{"startTime":1598.513,"endTime":1601.975,"body":"Kenny slapping at a dead princess."},{"startTime":1601.975,"endTime":1603.643,"body":"Anyway,"},{"startTime":1603.643,"endTime":1605.103,"body":"I'm just trying to think of the situation."},{"startTime":1605.103,"endTime":1606.646,"body":"What would the circumstances be"},{"startTime":1605.103,"endTime":1606.646,"body":"that would lead"},{"startTime":1606.646,"endTime":1610.15,"body":"Laura Kightlinger to be performing"},{"startTime":1606.646,"endTime":1610.15,"body":"in front of the Christian Coalition?"},{"startTime":1610.317,"endTime":1611.359,"body":"What now?"},{"startTime":1611.359,"endTime":1613.486,"body":"What would happen in your life"},{"startTime":1611.359,"endTime":1613.486,"body":"to get you through those days?"},{"startTime":1613.486,"endTime":1616.489,"body":"I guess that's why"},{"startTime":1613.486,"endTime":1616.489,"body":"I didn't really go on the road that much."},{"startTime":1616.489,"endTime":1621.536,"body":"I mean, you know, I was just even shocked"},{"startTime":1616.489,"endTime":1621.536,"body":"at how conservative it was in San Diego."},{"startTime":1621.62,"endTime":1626.958,"body":"Like, I was just talking about something"},{"startTime":1621.62,"endTime":1626.958,"body":"and a woman says, We're not all Democrats."},{"startTime":1626.958,"endTime":1629.169,"body":"Yeah, I'm like."},{"startTime":1626.958,"endTime":1629.169,"body":"They don't want to hear it."},{"startTime":1629.169,"endTime":1630.17,"body":"And they're mouthy."},{"startTime":1630.17,"endTime":1632.13,"body":"Yeah, it's like, okay, we'll get out."},{"startTime":1632.13,"endTime":1634.841,"body":"Yeah, I hear"},{"startTime":1634.924,"endTime":1635.383,"body":"like, San"},{"startTime":1635.383,"endTime":1638.678,"body":"Diego is not like the rest of the country,"},{"startTime":1635.383,"endTime":1638.678,"body":"but it is."},{"startTime":1638.678,"endTime":1640.639,"body":"It's like it's a bit of a freak show."},{"startTime":1640.639,"endTime":1642.974,"body":"You tour and you perform all over."},{"startTime":1642.974,"endTime":1644.517,"body":"Do you like going on the road?"},{"startTime":1644.517,"endTime":1645.352,"body":"I like it. Okay."},{"startTime":1645.352,"endTime":1646.936,"body":"I like doing stand up."},{"startTime":1646.936,"endTime":1650.023,"body":"I don't like the things involved"},{"startTime":1646.936,"endTime":1650.023,"body":"with travel."},{"startTime":1650.148,"endTime":1653.818,"body":"I'm like, if I could just be there."},{"startTime":1653.985,"endTime":1655.695,"body":"Yeah, yeah, that'd be tight."},{"startTime":1655.695,"endTime":1658.406,"body":"And then sleep in my bed. Yeah, I guess."},{"startTime":1658.406,"endTime":1659.741,"body":"That would be the best."},{"startTime":1659.741,"endTime":1664.12,"body":"Bit like going to airports or driving"},{"startTime":1659.741,"endTime":1664.12,"body":"or That part sucks."},{"startTime":1664.12,"endTime":1667.874,"body":"I understand people who don't immediately"},{"startTime":1664.12,"endTime":1667.874,"body":"when they're done performing,"},{"startTime":1667.874,"endTime":1670.001,"body":"I don't understand people"},{"startTime":1667.874,"endTime":1670.001,"body":"who don't want to immediately run to bed."},{"startTime":1670.001,"endTime":1672.42,"body":"Who are these people who stay out"},{"startTime":1670.001,"endTime":1672.42,"body":"after it? You know what I mean?"},{"startTime":1672.42,"endTime":1674.13,"body":"People can't sleep like me now."},{"startTime":1674.13,"endTime":1676.091,"body":"But that squashes the anxiety."},{"startTime":1676.091,"endTime":1679.511,"body":"Just run and hide. Oh yeah. I do that too."},{"startTime":1679.594,"endTime":1682.597,"body":"I do that before I do that the whole day"},{"startTime":1679.594,"endTime":1682.597,"body":"before. I."},{"startTime":1682.764,"endTime":1687.102,"body":"Sleep, the whole day before, or walk"},{"startTime":1682.764,"endTime":1687.102,"body":"around and try and, you know, think of my."},{"startTime":1687.185,"endTime":1691.314,"body":"Boyfriend's had friends in from out"},{"startTime":1687.185,"endTime":1691.314,"body":"of town this weekend and I had three shows"},{"startTime":1691.314,"endTime":1693.858,"body":"and they didn't really,"},{"startTime":1691.314,"endTime":1693.858,"body":"they couldn't get it around 2 p.m.."},{"startTime":1693.858,"endTime":1695.777,"body":"I'd be like, well I have to go go do."},{"startTime":1695.777,"endTime":1697.612,"body":"I was like, Well, I got nothing."},{"startTime":1697.612,"endTime":1698.446,"body":"Yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":1698.446,"endTime":1701.366,"body":"Having a stare too"},{"startTime":1698.446,"endTime":1701.366,"body":"offered seven. And a half. Yeah."},{"startTime":1701.366,"endTime":1702.409,"body":"I got to go be myself."},{"startTime":1702.409,"endTime":1709.541,"body":"Yeah, yeah, by myself, By myself."},{"startTime":1709.624,"endTime":1711.0,"body":"Daniel wants to wear a cape."},{"startTime":1711.0,"endTime":1715.755,"body":"Maggie and I are going to start our own"},{"startTime":1711.0,"endTime":1715.755,"body":"clothing line for women with long arms."},{"startTime":1715.797,"endTime":1719.884,"body":"Which Maggie just flexed her"},{"startTime":1715.797,"endTime":1719.884,"body":"arms up against the doorframe"},{"startTime":1720.051,"endTime":1721.177,"body":"to measure the length of her."},{"startTime":1721.177,"endTime":1723.93,"body":"Arm, and then went through the ceiling."},{"startTime":1723.93,"endTime":1725.557,"body":"Went straight through the ceiling."},{"startTime":1725.557,"endTime":1726.433,"body":"Never seen more."},{"startTime":1726.433,"endTime":1729.436,"body":"By a carpenter. Right now."},{"startTime":1729.436,"endTime":1731.02,"body":"I am sorry about that."},{"startTime":1731.02,"endTime":1733.106,"body":"So, no, I'm glad I'm."},{"startTime":1733.106,"endTime":1736.86,"body":"But but gold fell through the roof."},{"startTime":1736.901,"endTime":1738.486,"body":"Oh, my God. I work at a restaurant."},{"startTime":1738.486,"endTime":1741.614,"body":"These people owned it, and they"},{"startTime":1738.486,"endTime":1741.614,"body":"they were Natori."},{"startTime":1741.614,"endTime":1743.783,"body":"This is in the eighties."},{"startTime":1741.614,"endTime":1743.783,"body":"But they told me they told me this story."},{"startTime":1743.783,"endTime":1745.16,"body":"They did a bunch of blow all the time."},{"startTime":1745.16,"endTime":1746.161,"body":"They would party with, like, rock stars"},{"startTime":1746.161,"endTime":1747.579,"body":"because it would be like people"},{"startTime":1746.161,"endTime":1747.579,"body":"coming through."},{"startTime":1747.579,"endTime":1751.875,"body":"But one night the ceiling fell through"},{"startTime":1747.579,"endTime":1751.875,"body":"and these best was like falling through."},{"startTime":1751.875,"endTime":1753.752,"body":"But they were so high"},{"startTime":1751.875,"endTime":1753.752,"body":"they thought it because they also"},{"startTime":1753.752,"endTime":1755.962,"body":"stashed their coke in the ceiling."},{"startTime":1753.752,"endTime":1755.962,"body":"Oh shit."},{"startTime":1755.962,"endTime":1757.63,"body":"And they thought it was their blow."},{"startTime":1757.63,"endTime":1760.216,"body":"And so they were sweeping it like,"},{"startTime":1757.63,"endTime":1760.216,"body":"get away from people nine."},{"startTime":1760.216,"endTime":1762.218,"body":"But then they put it together,"},{"startTime":1760.216,"endTime":1762.218,"body":"but they were overreacting"},{"startTime":1762.218,"endTime":1764.262,"body":"because they thought"},{"startTime":1762.218,"endTime":1764.262,"body":"there's trash had been revealed."},{"startTime":1764.262,"endTime":1767.39,"body":"Gosh, I thought maybe"},{"startTime":1764.262,"endTime":1767.39,"body":"they would be blowing asbestos up there."},{"startTime":1767.39,"endTime":1769.517,"body":"No, no. They lived okay."},{"startTime":1769.517,"endTime":1771.895,"body":"Oh, they did do it. Yeah. No. Oh, wow."},{"startTime":1771.895,"endTime":1772.52,"body":"Okay. Sorry."},{"startTime":1772.52,"endTime":1776.357,"body":"But Maggie measured her"},{"startTime":1772.52,"endTime":1776.357,"body":"arms and versus her height,"},{"startTime":1776.357,"endTime":1779.235,"body":"and it's like your arms are four"},{"startTime":1776.357,"endTime":1779.235,"body":"or five inches longer, Maggie."},{"startTime":1779.235,"endTime":1781.404,"body":"Three, five, seven. Yes."},{"startTime":1779.235,"endTime":1781.404,"body":"What does that mean?"},{"startTime":1781.404,"endTime":1781.905,"body":"Are you five?"},{"startTime":1781.905,"endTime":1782.322,"body":"Seven?"},{"startTime":1782.322,"endTime":1786.951,"body":"No, I'm five, nine,"},{"startTime":1782.322,"endTime":1786.951,"body":"and my arms are six feet. What"},{"startTime":1787.035,"endTime":1787.619,"body":"was that?"},{"startTime":1787.619,"endTime":1791.664,"body":"So the ape index, I don't know"},{"startTime":1787.619,"endTime":1791.664,"body":"if it's eight factor or eight index, but"},{"startTime":1791.748,"endTime":1794.334,"body":"it's three inches,"},{"startTime":1791.748,"endTime":1794.334,"body":"whatever the difference is. Huh?"},{"startTime":1794.334,"endTime":1801.841,"body":"Don't argue with a man"},{"startTime":1794.334,"endTime":1801.841,"body":"about the difference in three inches."},{"startTime":1801.925,"endTime":1803.593,"body":"I can measure it."},{"startTime":1803.593,"endTime":1805.97,"body":"Okay, that's great. Okay, so we."},{"startTime":1805.97,"endTime":1808.64,"body":"But you were saying"},{"startTime":1805.97,"endTime":1808.64,"body":"you want to start a clothing line?"},{"startTime":1808.64,"endTime":1810.6,"body":"Yeah, I think we should. Yeah."},{"startTime":1810.6,"endTime":1814.729,"body":"I feel like there are other women"},{"startTime":1810.6,"endTime":1814.729,"body":"who would like to have a sweater"},{"startTime":1814.729,"endTime":1819.609,"body":"that they can hold in their palm"},{"startTime":1814.729,"endTime":1819.609,"body":"instead of it goes above your wrist."},{"startTime":1819.734,"endTime":1820.86,"body":"Yeah, You know."},{"startTime":1820.86,"endTime":1822.529,"body":"Can we call it up in arms?"},{"startTime":1822.529,"endTime":1825.406,"body":"My God, I love it."},{"startTime":1825.406,"endTime":1827.408,"body":"I love that, Daniel. Because we."},{"startTime":1827.408,"endTime":1831.746,"body":"Have a message also, like, let's be,"},{"startTime":1827.408,"endTime":1831.746,"body":"you know, our choice and women's."},{"startTime":1831.746,"endTime":1833.623,"body":"Rights. Yeah, there we go."},{"startTime":1833.623,"endTime":1835.959,"body":"Women's rights in general. Anarchy also."},{"startTime":1835.959,"endTime":1836.835,"body":"Yeah, a little bit."},{"startTime":1836.835,"endTime":1838.67,"body":"I sometimes I'll go to the dry cleaner."},{"startTime":1838.67,"endTime":1840.463,"body":"Well, I usually take stuff out myself."},{"startTime":1840.463,"endTime":1841.005,"body":"I have a thing"},{"startTime":1841.005,"endTime":1844.843,"body":"that takes stitches out of the sleeves,"},{"startTime":1841.005,"endTime":1844.843,"body":"but sometimes I'll go into the dry cleaner"},{"startTime":1844.843,"endTime":1847.846,"body":"and I think they'll look at me like,"},{"startTime":1844.843,"endTime":1847.846,"body":"Why don't you get something that fits?"},{"startTime":1847.929,"endTime":1849.556,"body":"Like, I."},{"startTime":1849.639,"endTime":1850.348,"body":"Like it so many."},{"startTime":1850.348,"endTime":1851.266,"body":"Times"},{"startTime":1851.266,"endTime":1854.227,"body":"because I'll get large so it fits there,"},{"startTime":1851.266,"endTime":1854.227,"body":"but then it doesn't fit anywhere."},{"startTime":1854.227,"endTime":1855.52,"body":"Else."},{"startTime":1855.52,"endTime":1858.356,"body":"So I've been laughed out of men's"},{"startTime":1855.52,"endTime":1858.356,"body":"department, so trying to find pants"},{"startTime":1858.356,"endTime":1861.192,"body":"that are my length versus"},{"startTime":1858.356,"endTime":1861.192,"body":"the waist. Like do you?"},{"startTime":1861.192,"endTime":1863.444,"body":"How many Forget old Queens at Banana"},{"startTime":1861.192,"endTime":1863.444,"body":"Republic."},{"startTime":1863.444,"endTime":1866.322,"body":"You're like, Oh no, girl"},{"startTime":1866.322,"endTime":1867.782,"body":"I like sent me to the discount."},{"startTime":1867.782,"endTime":1870.159,"body":"Like, you need to check the discount"},{"startTime":1867.782,"endTime":1870.159,"body":"at Marshalls and like, that's,"},{"startTime":1870.159,"endTime":1873.079,"body":"that's where you're going to find"},{"startTime":1870.159,"endTime":1873.079,"body":"that freak show of a measurement."},{"startTime":1873.079,"endTime":1873.371,"body":"You know."},{"startTime":1873.371,"endTime":1875.331,"body":"Maybe Kathy Ireland can help you."},{"startTime":1875.331,"endTime":1876.916,"body":"Out, not your."},{"startTime":1876.916,"endTime":1880.128,"body":"Bag. Were your parents really supportive"},{"startTime":1876.916,"endTime":1880.128,"body":"about performing"},{"startTime":1880.128,"endTime":1881.629,"body":"and all that stuff"},{"startTime":1880.128,"endTime":1881.629,"body":"when you were growing up?"},{"startTime":1881.629,"endTime":1884.632,"body":"Not really. Yeah,"},{"startTime":1884.841,"endTime":1886.009,"body":"because. I was a really smart kid."},{"startTime":1886.009,"endTime":1890.054,"body":"And so they were like,"},{"startTime":1886.009,"endTime":1890.054,"body":"Well, you can go to med school,"},{"startTime":1890.054,"endTime":1891.472,"body":"you can handle that, you know,"},{"startTime":1891.472,"endTime":1894.851,"body":"and you can make a life for yourself"},{"startTime":1891.472,"endTime":1894.851,"body":"and something guaranteed."},{"startTime":1894.976,"endTime":1898.771,"body":"You know, all of this"},{"startTime":1894.976,"endTime":1898.771,"body":"performance, it's subjective."},{"startTime":1898.771,"endTime":1902.65,"body":"And if they don't like you"},{"startTime":1898.771,"endTime":1902.65,"body":"or if there's any reason to, I mean,"},{"startTime":1902.859,"endTime":1904.527,"body":"there doesn't even have to be a reason."},{"startTime":1904.527,"endTime":1905.862,"body":"Yeah. So subjective."},{"startTime":1905.862,"endTime":1906.571,"body":"And, you know,"},{"startTime":1906.571,"endTime":1909.699,"body":"we've been in this country"},{"startTime":1906.571,"endTime":1909.699,"body":"long enough to see how things aren't fair."},{"startTime":1909.699,"endTime":1913.036,"body":"And so get a plan B before anything."},{"startTime":1913.036,"endTime":1915.914,"body":"But they're pretty supportive"},{"startTime":1913.036,"endTime":1915.914,"body":"now. Yeah, I was."},{"startTime":1915.914,"endTime":1919.167,"body":"I think they realized that they have to be"},{"startTime":1915.914,"endTime":1919.167,"body":"because it's like there is no."},{"startTime":1919.25,"endTime":1920.084,"body":"Plan B."},{"startTime":1920.084,"endTime":1921.586,"body":"Yeah, exactly."},{"startTime":1921.586,"endTime":1926.841,"body":"My is my plan"},{"startTime":1921.586,"endTime":1926.841,"body":"B is death. And I almost got it. Yeah,"},{"startTime":1926.925,"endTime":1928.009,"body":"I know, But how are you?"},{"startTime":1928.009,"endTime":1931.638,"body":"Are you really going to win the lotto"},{"startTime":1928.009,"endTime":1931.638,"body":"twice or really not?"},{"startTime":1931.763,"endTime":1933.348,"body":"I better think of something."},{"startTime":1933.348,"endTime":1936.225,"body":"My mom would still like me"},{"startTime":1933.348,"endTime":1936.225,"body":"to be a court stenographer."},{"startTime":1936.225,"endTime":1938.853,"body":"I feel like a great stenographer."},{"startTime":1938.853,"endTime":1940.813,"body":"Maybe that would be a fun job, right?"},{"startTime":1940.813,"endTime":1943.358,"body":"You're kind of eavesdropping,"},{"startTime":1940.813,"endTime":1943.358,"body":"but you're not acting like it."},{"startTime":1943.358,"endTime":1945.86,"body":"I have, though"},{"startTime":1943.358,"endTime":1945.86,"body":"I'd be, like, thinking about what"},{"startTime":1945.86,"endTime":1949.364,"body":"a word meant"},{"startTime":1945.86,"endTime":1949.364,"body":"and then not get anything by lawyers."},{"startTime":1949.447,"endTime":1952.075,"body":"My boyfriend is Hawaiian"},{"startTime":1949.447,"endTime":1952.075,"body":"and he lived in Australia."},{"startTime":1952.075,"endTime":1952.909,"body":"So as a kid."},{"startTime":1952.909,"endTime":1956.079,"body":"So there's a couple of blinds, spots"},{"startTime":1952.909,"endTime":1956.079,"body":"and things that he doesn't know about."},{"startTime":1956.079,"endTime":1958.998,"body":"But I just had to teach him"},{"startTime":1956.079,"endTime":1958.998,"body":"about the Menendez brothers."},{"startTime":1958.998,"endTime":1960.249,"body":"Oh, right."},{"startTime":1960.249,"endTime":1961.96,"body":"It was like I had the same reactions."},{"startTime":1961.96,"endTime":1962.126,"body":"I was."},{"startTime":1962.126,"endTime":1964.963,"body":"I was like, Oh, is Cuba like,"},{"startTime":1962.126,"endTime":1964.963,"body":"oh, like, let's talk about it."},{"startTime":1964.963,"endTime":1967.674,"body":"But they don't have the news."},{"startTime":1967.757,"endTime":1968.049,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1968.049,"endTime":1970.51,"body":"And then the other funny thing"},{"startTime":1968.049,"endTime":1970.51,"body":"is trying to watch him to be like,"},{"startTime":1970.51,"endTime":1974.514,"body":"Wait till he finds out that"},{"startTime":1970.51,"endTime":1974.514,"body":"they're kind of hot, you know what I mean?"},{"startTime":1974.597,"endTime":1975.932,"body":"Wait till we watch the documentary."},{"startTime":1975.932,"endTime":1979.519,"body":"I'm watching his face,"},{"startTime":1975.932,"endTime":1979.519,"body":"watching this, and like."},{"startTime":1979.602,"endTime":1981.854,"body":"And at what point do you find one of them"},{"startTime":1979.602,"endTime":1981.854,"body":"kind of smoke?"},{"startTime":1981.854,"endTime":1983.231,"body":"And anyway."},{"startTime":1983.231,"endTime":1984.691,"body":"Yeah, they are. It's."},{"startTime":1984.691,"endTime":1987.61,"body":"I hate that ad like a serial"},{"startTime":1984.691,"endTime":1987.61,"body":"killers are hot."},{"startTime":1987.61,"endTime":1989.821,"body":"But I feel so bad."},{"startTime":1987.61,"endTime":1989.821,"body":"They're not really serial killers."},{"startTime":1989.821,"endTime":1991.322,"body":"They just killed their parents, which."},{"startTime":1991.322,"endTime":1993.7,"body":"We all. Probably would have."},{"startTime":1991.322,"endTime":1993.7,"body":"Yeah. Yeah, it was."},{"startTime":1993.7,"endTime":1995.451,"body":"The thing is, they ratted themselves out."},{"startTime":1995.451,"endTime":1997.161,"body":"Yeah, one of them did. Yeah."},{"startTime":1997.161,"endTime":2001.04,"body":"He confessed to a therapist,"},{"startTime":1997.161,"endTime":2001.04,"body":"but the therapist was cheating"},{"startTime":2001.04,"endTime":2004.711,"body":"on his wife, and his girlfriend"},{"startTime":2001.04,"endTime":2004.711,"body":"was eavesdropping in the office."},{"startTime":2004.836,"endTime":2006.921,"body":"So there was a whole. Anyway, that's. Oh."},{"startTime":2006.921,"endTime":2010.383,"body":"That's a hip of isolation."},{"startTime":2010.466,"endTime":2011.676,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2011.676,"endTime":2014.679,"body":"So. But anyway, I was educating him"},{"startTime":2011.676,"endTime":2014.679,"body":"on the Menendez brothers."},{"startTime":2014.679,"endTime":2016.889,"body":"Right. We're watching"},{"startTime":2014.679,"endTime":2016.889,"body":"some stupid documentary on YouTube."},{"startTime":2016.889,"endTime":2019.976,"body":"And then his friends come over"},{"startTime":2016.889,"endTime":2019.976,"body":"because we're now hosting"},{"startTime":2019.976,"endTime":2022.562,"body":"like a dinner party and we're like,"},{"startTime":2019.976,"endTime":2022.562,"body":"catching up with his friends."},{"startTime":2022.562,"endTime":2025.148,"body":"Meanwhile, Court TV, it's now lapsed"},{"startTime":2025.148,"endTime":2028.317,"body":"into like the YouTube video is now rolled"},{"startTime":2025.148,"endTime":2028.317,"body":"into the next algorithm or whatever."},{"startTime":2028.317,"endTime":2032.28,"body":"And it's the seven hour"},{"startTime":2028.317,"endTime":2032.28,"body":"testimony of the Menendez."},{"startTime":2032.488,"endTime":2033.114,"body":"One of them."},{"startTime":2033.114,"endTime":2036.784,"body":"The other one, the less guilty one,"},{"startTime":2033.114,"endTime":2036.784,"body":"because he's not as hot,"},{"startTime":2036.868,"endTime":2040.038,"body":"does he?"},{"startTime":2040.121,"endTime":2043.499,"body":"But he none of these people I know, I'm"},{"startTime":2040.121,"endTime":2043.499,"body":"the oldest person in the room"},{"startTime":2043.499,"endTime":2047.67,"body":"and his group of friends,"},{"startTime":2043.499,"endTime":2047.67,"body":"none of them had like known about it."},{"startTime":2047.67,"endTime":2049.714,"body":"They didn't know anything about the how."},{"startTime":2049.714,"endTime":2050.673,"body":"I know."},{"startTime":2050.673,"endTime":2052.759,"body":"And it was like"},{"startTime":2050.673,"endTime":2052.759,"body":"even the Menendez brothers."},{"startTime":2052.759,"endTime":2056.304,"body":"But they had a plan B"},{"startTime":2052.759,"endTime":2056.304,"body":"I a plan B, like people get that."},{"startTime":2056.387,"endTime":2057.388,"body":"That was my whole just wait."},{"startTime":2057.388,"endTime":2059.223,"body":"The Menendez brothers had a plan B?"},{"startTime":2059.223,"endTime":2061.809,"body":"Yeah,"},{"startTime":2059.223,"endTime":2061.809,"body":"they had inheritance and they had like."},{"startTime":2061.809,"endTime":2063.436,"body":"Oh, okay. All that."},{"startTime":2063.436,"endTime":2065.438,"body":"They're in Phuket,"},{"startTime":2063.436,"endTime":2065.438,"body":"they're in jail and married."},{"startTime":2065.438,"endTime":2068.191,"body":"They have a better off"},{"startTime":2065.438,"endTime":2068.191,"body":"and like a book deal."},{"startTime":2068.191,"endTime":2069.942,"body":"Do you know what I'm saying?"},{"startTime":2068.191,"endTime":2069.942,"body":"Yeah, well, that's so funny."},{"startTime":2069.942,"endTime":2072.278,"body":"I would never"},{"startTime":2069.942,"endTime":2072.278,"body":"you'd be like the only person"},{"startTime":2072.278,"endTime":2074.363,"body":"that would think of the Menendez"},{"startTime":2072.278,"endTime":2074.363,"body":"brothers as,"},{"startTime":2074.363,"endTime":2077.033,"body":"you know, people to look up to"},{"startTime":2074.363,"endTime":2077.033,"body":"as having a plan B."},{"startTime":2077.033,"endTime":2079.285,"body":"They they were"},{"startTime":2077.033,"endTime":2079.285,"body":"they were. Going to inherit."},{"startTime":2079.285,"endTime":2081.621,"body":"Well, yeah, that was a big if."},{"startTime":2081.621,"endTime":2085.249,"body":"Yeah, there's a whole wave of sympathy"},{"startTime":2081.621,"endTime":2085.249,"body":"in the new generation"},{"startTime":2085.249,"endTime":2088.836,"body":"because they, they confessed"},{"startTime":2085.249,"endTime":2088.836,"body":"to being sexually abused by their dad."},{"startTime":2088.836,"endTime":2090.546,"body":"And I think one of the Menudo brothers"},{"startTime":2090.546,"endTime":2093.466,"body":"also claims"},{"startTime":2090.546,"endTime":2093.466,"body":"to have been assaulted by their dad. Yeah."},{"startTime":2093.466,"endTime":2094.217,"body":"Because he"},{"startTime":2094.217,"endTime":2097.804,"body":"he was in the music business for a second"},{"startTime":2094.217,"endTime":2097.804,"body":"anyway, so that kind of confirms it."},{"startTime":2097.804,"endTime":2102.391,"body":"So now there's this wave of sympathy for"},{"startTime":2097.804,"endTime":2102.391,"body":"them being are they death row or whatever."},{"startTime":2102.391,"endTime":2103.81,"body":"When they also adopted?"},{"startTime":2103.81,"endTime":2105.978,"body":"No way. No, I don't think so."},{"startTime":2105.978,"endTime":2111.067,"body":"Maybe I missed that part of the doc."},{"startTime":2105.978,"endTime":2111.067,"body":"I was like, Wait till they get hot."},{"startTime":2111.15,"endTime":2113.861,"body":"You know,"},{"startTime":2111.15,"endTime":2113.861,"body":"fast forward through their childhood."},{"startTime":2113.861,"endTime":2116.405,"body":"There's soccer, there's trauma, trust me."},{"startTime":2116.405,"endTime":2118.324,"body":"But yeah,"},{"startTime":2116.405,"endTime":2118.324,"body":"it has blind spots for those things."},{"startTime":2118.324,"endTime":2120.493,"body":"I don't think they should still be in"},{"startTime":2118.324,"endTime":2120.493,"body":"jail."},{"startTime":2120.493,"endTime":2121.661,"body":"What do you think should happen?"},{"startTime":2121.661,"endTime":2123.788,"body":"Well,"},{"startTime":2121.661,"endTime":2123.788,"body":"I don't know, but I did a documentary"},{"startTime":2123.788,"endTime":2127.291,"body":"and I interviewed people who are in jail"},{"startTime":2123.788,"endTime":2127.291,"body":"who got out like this"},{"startTime":2127.291,"endTime":2130.503,"body":"woman who was in jail"},{"startTime":2127.291,"endTime":2130.503,"body":"because she was set up, her boyfriend."},{"startTime":2130.503,"endTime":2132.755,"body":"She was 19 and she was part of a sting."},{"startTime":2132.755,"endTime":2136.008,"body":"And so she went to jail"},{"startTime":2132.755,"endTime":2136.008,"body":"for 18 years for drugs."},{"startTime":2136.05,"endTime":2138.928,"body":"She was 19."},{"startTime":2136.05,"endTime":2138.928,"body":"She gave birth at Rikers. Down."},{"startTime":2138.928,"endTime":2143.015,"body":"And like interviewing her afterward,"},{"startTime":2138.928,"endTime":2143.015,"body":"a couple other women, there was a woman"},{"startTime":2143.015,"endTime":2147.186,"body":"whose son, somebody had planted"},{"startTime":2143.015,"endTime":2147.186,"body":"pot on her son's wheelchair."},{"startTime":2147.186,"endTime":2150.69,"body":"And then he went to jail and"},{"startTime":2147.186,"endTime":2150.69,"body":"he had to be turned at night because he."},{"startTime":2150.69,"endTime":2151.566,"body":"Oh, my God. Yeah."},{"startTime":2151.566,"endTime":2154.694,"body":"Because he was not quadriplegic,"},{"startTime":2151.566,"endTime":2154.694,"body":"but terribly dead."},{"startTime":2154.694,"endTime":2155.528,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":2155.528,"endTime":2156.821,"body":"The drug laws were so terrible."},{"startTime":2156.821,"endTime":2157.864,"body":"But anyway, my point was, like,"},{"startTime":2157.864,"endTime":2161.909,"body":"just this woman, anyone talk to,"},{"startTime":2157.864,"endTime":2161.909,"body":"it's like your life force is gone."},{"startTime":2162.16,"endTime":2164.912,"body":"Yeah, like, you just look in this person"},{"startTime":2162.16,"endTime":2164.912,"body":"signs and there's just something that."},{"startTime":2164.912,"endTime":2166.289,"body":"Yeah, Yeah."},{"startTime":2166.289,"endTime":2169.458,"body":"My friend's brother, who's going to see"},{"startTime":2166.289,"endTime":2169.458,"body":"his name is Andy."},{"startTime":2169.458,"endTime":2173.379,"body":"He was in the military and he just shared"},{"startTime":2169.458,"endTime":2173.379,"body":"a joint with some people."},{"startTime":2173.462,"endTime":2176.674,"body":"And those people that he shared a joint"},{"startTime":2173.462,"endTime":2176.674,"body":"with got busted for stealing."},{"startTime":2176.674,"endTime":2179.927,"body":"And part of their plea deal"},{"startTime":2176.674,"endTime":2179.927,"body":"was ratting him out, period."},{"startTime":2179.927,"endTime":2180.636,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":2180.636,"endTime":2182.93,"body":"But they got him"},{"startTime":2180.636,"endTime":2182.93,"body":"because he literally handed it to them."},{"startTime":2182.93,"endTime":2184.515,"body":"It was distribution."},{"startTime":2184.515,"endTime":2188.06,"body":"So he went to military prison"},{"startTime":2184.515,"endTime":2188.06,"body":"and some appellate lawyer"},{"startTime":2188.06,"endTime":2190.021,"body":"in Washington, DC"},{"startTime":2188.06,"endTime":2190.021,"body":"and a totally different state."},{"startTime":2190.021,"endTime":2191.772,"body":"It was just reviewing his case"},{"startTime":2191.772,"endTime":2195.026,"body":"and found the discrepancies"},{"startTime":2191.772,"endTime":2195.026,"body":"and that the people who incriminated him"},{"startTime":2195.026,"endTime":2196.444,"body":"had actually done a worse crime"},{"startTime":2195.026,"endTime":2196.444,"body":"and all that."},{"startTime":2196.444,"endTime":2202.158,"body":"And the prosecutor of him in the first"},{"startTime":2196.444,"endTime":2202.158,"body":"trial took his child and his child"},{"startTime":2202.158,"endTime":2206.078,"body":"and the mother off to like Italy and all"},{"startTime":2202.158,"endTime":2206.078,"body":"that shit was romancing his child's"},{"startTime":2206.078,"endTime":2207.413,"body":"mother and all this shit. Yes."},{"startTime":2207.413,"endTime":2208.08,"body":"Oh, my God."},{"startTime":2208.08,"endTime":2211.083,"body":"So anyway, got the case"},{"startTime":2208.08,"endTime":2211.083,"body":"and it's time he was released."},{"startTime":2211.083,"endTime":2212.96,"body":"I mean, he's not with us anymore,"},{"startTime":2211.083,"endTime":2212.96,"body":"but before that,"},{"startTime":2212.96,"endTime":2216.589,"body":"his case was overturned,"},{"startTime":2212.96,"endTime":2216.589,"body":"but he was facing all kinds of crazy time."},{"startTime":2216.589,"endTime":2218.382,"body":"And it was like,"},{"startTime":2216.589,"endTime":2218.382,"body":"how do you mentally recover from that"},{"startTime":2218.382,"endTime":2220.384,"body":"when you were never supposed to be there"},{"startTime":2218.382,"endTime":2220.384,"body":"in the first place?"},{"startTime":2220.384,"endTime":2221.552,"body":"Yeah, And it's a"},{"startTime":2221.552,"endTime":2225.306,"body":"what if a military court, which"},{"startTime":2221.552,"endTime":2225.306,"body":"they're always trying to set an example?"},{"startTime":2225.348,"endTime":2225.765,"body":"I don't know."},{"startTime":2225.765,"endTime":2227.642,"body":"I figure that's"},{"startTime":2225.765,"endTime":2227.642,"body":"why they don't want me in the military"},{"startTime":2227.642,"endTime":2231.896,"body":"because I just look, I don't I mean,"},{"startTime":2227.642,"endTime":2231.896,"body":"that's got to be bad for the enemy, right?"},{"startTime":2231.896,"endTime":2235.816,"body":"Don't send him to"},{"startTime":2231.896,"endTime":2235.816,"body":"the front. He looks loaded."},{"startTime":2235.9,"endTime":2237.318,"body":"That's why I wanted the new driver's"},{"startTime":2237.318,"endTime":2241.197,"body":"license photo"},{"startTime":2237.318,"endTime":2241.197,"body":"is because I look baked in my current one."},{"startTime":2241.197,"endTime":2245.952,"body":"You could be in the house,"},{"startTime":2241.197,"endTime":2245.952,"body":"you could be in the human shield section."},{"startTime":2246.035,"endTime":2248.496,"body":"Just giving you a cane"},{"startTime":2246.035,"endTime":2248.496,"body":"and a fucking straw hat, Laura,"},{"startTime":2248.496,"endTime":2251.499,"body":"and send me in a bad, terrible. Don't."},{"startTime":2251.499,"endTime":2253.209,"body":"How did we get on this shit?"},{"startTime":2253.209,"endTime":2256.003,"body":"By the way, you were on a Oh, I got out."},{"startTime":2256.003,"endTime":2260.049,"body":"You were up in arms about our long arms."},{"startTime":2260.132,"endTime":2264.595,"body":"But Maggie,"},{"startTime":2260.132,"endTime":2264.595,"body":"what was your worst up gig ever? Hmm?"},{"startTime":2264.679,"endTime":2265.805,"body":"Maggie always kills."},{"startTime":2265.805,"endTime":2267.807,"body":"I mean, sure. Oh, okay. Well,"},{"startTime":2265.805,"endTime":2267.807,"body":"maybe I had one."},{"startTime":2267.807,"endTime":2270.017,"body":"I had our dying experience because."},{"startTime":2270.017,"endTime":2271.06,"body":"I block it out."},{"startTime":2271.06,"endTime":2273.479,"body":"If it's"},{"startTime":2273.479,"endTime":2274.146,"body":"okay, then fine."},{"startTime":2274.146,"endTime":2276.899,"body":"If you can't think one"},{"startTime":2274.146,"endTime":2276.899,"body":"who's the worst comedian you've ever was."},{"startTime":2276.899,"endTime":2280.486,"body":"Okay. I don't know his name."},{"startTime":2280.569,"endTime":2281.779,"body":"That's good."},{"startTime":2281.779,"endTime":2285.992,"body":"I hosted an open mic for, like,"},{"startTime":2281.779,"endTime":2285.992,"body":"five and a half years, so I know several."},{"startTime":2286.075,"endTime":2288.953,"body":"Horrible. But one stands out is Guy."},{"startTime":2288.953,"endTime":2294.208,"body":"He did several jokes where he would"},{"startTime":2288.953,"endTime":2294.208,"body":"say, like, So I was raping this chick."},{"startTime":2294.333,"endTime":2295.293,"body":"Oh, my God."},{"startTime":2295.293,"endTime":2297.503,"body":"It wasn't funny"},{"startTime":2295.293,"endTime":2297.503,"body":"because it's like, horrifying."},{"startTime":2297.503,"endTime":2301.215,"body":"But then also at the end of his joke,"},{"startTime":2297.503,"endTime":2301.215,"body":"it's like, if you would have just said"},{"startTime":2301.215,"endTime":2305.136,"body":"I was having sex with this chick,"},{"startTime":2301.215,"endTime":2305.136,"body":"the joke might have worked."},{"startTime":2305.219,"endTime":2306.053,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2306.053,"endTime":2308.18,"body":"The joke might have made sense."},{"startTime":2308.18,"endTime":2309.807,"body":"It wouldn't have been horrifying."},{"startTime":2309.807,"endTime":2313.311,"body":"Like you threw that horrifying shit in"},{"startTime":2309.807,"endTime":2313.311,"body":"because you thought it was edgy"},{"startTime":2313.311,"endTime":2316.605,"body":"and you ruined everything."},{"startTime":2313.311,"endTime":2316.605,"body":"Everything? Yeah."},{"startTime":2316.689,"endTime":2318.816,"body":"So he's probably the worst comedian"},{"startTime":2316.689,"endTime":2318.816,"body":"I've ever seen."},{"startTime":2318.816,"endTime":2319.317,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":2319.317,"endTime":2321.902,"body":"Our friend Carrie"},{"startTime":2319.317,"endTime":2321.902,"body":"Lindo used to run a show."},{"startTime":2321.902,"endTime":2324.488,"body":"I forget what it was called."},{"startTime":2321.902,"endTime":2324.488,"body":"What was it? Down to the Lexington."},{"startTime":2324.488,"endTime":2328.409,"body":"But there was some dude"},{"startTime":2324.488,"endTime":2328.409,"body":"telling a similar joke like that."},{"startTime":2328.534,"endTime":2331.579,"body":"Gary just takes the money, goes. Nope."},{"startTime":2331.662,"endTime":2333.122,"body":"And then he kept going."},{"startTime":2333.122,"endTime":2334.415,"body":"It goes, I said no."},{"startTime":2334.415,"endTime":2337.752,"body":"And then little Carolyn,"},{"startTime":2334.415,"endTime":2337.752,"body":"my little bird, she's not a loud person."},{"startTime":2337.835,"endTime":2340.171,"body":"She shot his ass down. Good."},{"startTime":2340.171,"endTime":2342.423,"body":"Okay. And left the stage."},{"startTime":2340.171,"endTime":2342.423,"body":"It was hilarious."},{"startTime":2342.423,"endTime":2343.299,"body":"I love that."},{"startTime":2343.299,"endTime":2345.134,"body":"But to answer Laura's question,"},{"startTime":2343.299,"endTime":2345.134,"body":"what is the worst gig?"},{"startTime":2345.134,"endTime":2348.637,"body":"Wait, actually,"},{"startTime":2345.134,"endTime":2348.637,"body":"I can think of one I agreed to do."},{"startTime":2348.637,"endTime":2350.306,"body":"Someone's party."},{"startTime":2350.306,"endTime":2352.725,"body":"Oh, she said how much? And I"},{"startTime":2350.306,"endTime":2352.725,"body":"gave her an amount."},{"startTime":2352.725,"endTime":2356.395,"body":"And she was like,"},{"startTime":2352.725,"endTime":2356.395,"body":"Well, can you do it for so and so amount?"},{"startTime":2356.479,"endTime":2359.94,"body":"Because it's his birthday,"},{"startTime":2356.479,"endTime":2359.94,"body":"which is like where I first fucked up."},{"startTime":2359.94,"endTime":2361.442,"body":"I should've been like,"},{"startTime":2359.94,"endTime":2361.442,"body":"No, I don't care about."},{"startTime":2361.442,"endTime":2363.569,"body":"Yeah, this is I don't know him."},{"startTime":2363.569,"endTime":2364.528,"body":"And so it did."},{"startTime":2364.528,"endTime":2369.909,"body":"My said she wanted me to like roast him"},{"startTime":2364.528,"endTime":2369.909,"body":"some so roasted him a little bit."},{"startTime":2369.909,"endTime":2374.622,"body":"But I think she thought that I was going"},{"startTime":2369.909,"endTime":2374.622,"body":"to like, roast him a lot for it."},{"startTime":2374.622,"endTime":2375.915,"body":"And it's like one."},{"startTime":2375.915,"endTime":2379.168,"body":"I don't know, you know, nice little"},{"startTime":2375.915,"endTime":2379.168,"body":"I guess he likes cats"},{"startTime":2379.168,"endTime":2383.756,"body":"and jazz or whatever"},{"startTime":2379.168,"endTime":2383.756,"body":"he wrote in the email, but also like,"},{"startTime":2383.839,"endTime":2384.84,"body":"don't get someone"},{"startTime":2384.84,"endTime":2387.927,"body":"who doesn't know you and doesn't care"},{"startTime":2384.84,"endTime":2387.927,"body":"about you to roast you."},{"startTime":2387.927,"endTime":2388.219,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2388.219,"endTime":2390.388,"body":"Adam Because I could just go off the,"},{"startTime":2390.388,"endTime":2393.808,"body":"you know, the rails"},{"startTime":2390.388,"endTime":2393.808,"body":"and just really embarrass everybody."},{"startTime":2393.808,"endTime":2395.643,"body":"They it'd be funny,"},{"startTime":2393.808,"endTime":2395.643,"body":"but it would be really like,"},{"startTime":2395.643,"endTime":2398.354,"body":"that's not something"},{"startTime":2395.643,"endTime":2398.354,"body":"that you want to necessarily do."},{"startTime":2398.354,"endTime":2401.399,"body":"And then at the end of the show,"},{"startTime":2398.354,"endTime":2401.399,"body":"she wrote me a check,"},{"startTime":2401.565,"endTime":2404.527,"body":"but she wrote it short."},{"startTime":2404.527,"endTime":2406.195,"body":"But she was like,"},{"startTime":2404.527,"endTime":2406.195,"body":"I have to write it short."},{"startTime":2406.195,"endTime":2408.239,"body":"Or like she gave me cash"},{"startTime":2406.195,"endTime":2408.239,"body":"and shorted me with the cash."},{"startTime":2408.239,"endTime":2409.74,"body":"So it's like all of that."},{"startTime":2409.74,"endTime":2412.66,"body":"And she double didn't pay me what I want."},{"startTime":2412.66,"endTime":2415.746,"body":"You know, I've seen you roast"},{"startTime":2412.66,"endTime":2415.746,"body":"people jewelry at a party."},{"startTime":2415.788,"endTime":2417.957,"body":"Christina Parrish was in town. Oh, yeah?"},{"startTime":2417.957,"endTime":2419.792,"body":"And there's the asinine dude."},{"startTime":2419.792,"endTime":2420.835,"body":"They got into it."},{"startTime":2420.835,"endTime":2424.338,"body":"He said one thing to Christina, and Maggie"},{"startTime":2420.835,"endTime":2424.338,"body":"swooped in and just."},{"startTime":2424.338,"endTime":2425.339,"body":"Trying to put her down."},{"startTime":2425.339,"endTime":2428.134,"body":"He was like, Oh, well, I work at this."},{"startTime":2428.134,"endTime":2430.636,"body":"And I wrote this movie with so-and-so."},{"startTime":2430.636,"endTime":2433.264,"body":"And, you know, Christina,"},{"startTime":2430.636,"endTime":2433.264,"body":"she writes movies."},{"startTime":2433.264,"endTime":2435.558,"body":"It's, you know, she does a great job."},{"startTime":2435.558,"endTime":2436.142,"body":"He's hilarious."},{"startTime":2436.142,"endTime":2441.021,"body":"And she said something and he was trying"},{"startTime":2436.142,"endTime":2441.021,"body":"to, like, diminish her and whatnot."},{"startTime":2441.021,"endTime":2445.359,"body":"And I was just like, hold up, Kyle."},{"startTime":2445.443,"endTime":2446.735,"body":"You don't talk to her."},{"startTime":2446.735,"endTime":2448.571,"body":"You don't know who she is."},{"startTime":2448.571,"endTime":2450.239,"body":"Yeah, I don't know who you are."},{"startTime":2450.239,"endTime":2452.241,"body":"Like, who the hell cares"},{"startTime":2450.239,"endTime":2452.241,"body":"what you think you wrote?"},{"startTime":2452.241,"endTime":2457.246,"body":"And then let me go to IMDB right now"},{"startTime":2452.241,"endTime":2457.246,"body":"and see if it checks out."},{"startTime":2457.329,"endTime":2461.959,"body":"I left the room and went and fuck and long"},{"startTime":2457.329,"endTime":2461.959,"body":"winded talk to someone on a balcony"},{"startTime":2461.959,"endTime":2465.087,"body":"and had a drink and two drinks"},{"startTime":2461.959,"endTime":2465.087,"body":"and came back in to get another drink."},{"startTime":2465.087,"endTime":2467.715,"body":"And Maggie was still going with this guy."},{"startTime":2467.715,"endTime":2469.133,"body":"Nobody had moved."},{"startTime":2469.133,"endTime":2472.845,"body":"Everyone was still holding their position"},{"startTime":2469.133,"endTime":2472.845,"body":"at the kitchen counter."},{"startTime":2472.928,"endTime":2475.681,"body":"And I remember looking at Christina,"},{"startTime":2472.928,"endTime":2475.681,"body":"I think, being like, Are you all okay?"},{"startTime":2475.681,"endTime":2478.225,"body":"She's like, We're fine. And package"},{"startTime":2475.681,"endTime":2478.225,"body":"just the litany."},{"startTime":2478.225,"endTime":2479.852,"body":"It was so great."},{"startTime":2479.852,"endTime":2482.646,"body":"Oh, it's about when you get roasting"},{"startTime":2479.852,"endTime":2482.646,"body":"that gets."},{"startTime":2482.646,"endTime":2483.814,"body":"What you get. Is beautiful."},{"startTime":2483.814,"endTime":2485.316,"body":"That was the same night we actually got"},{"startTime":2485.316,"endTime":2487.735,"body":"because I just passed the street"},{"startTime":2485.316,"endTime":2487.735,"body":"like a couple of months ago"},{"startTime":2487.735,"endTime":2491.405,"body":"where we were"},{"startTime":2487.735,"endTime":2491.405,"body":"recounting the whole thing in the street,"},{"startTime":2491.405,"endTime":2493.199,"body":"you remember,"},{"startTime":2491.405,"endTime":2493.199,"body":"and someone from their house,"},{"startTime":2493.199,"endTime":2495.993,"body":"it's like a fucking character from Beauty"},{"startTime":2493.199,"endTime":2495.993,"body":"and the Beast out"},{"startTime":2495.993,"endTime":2498.329,"body":"the second story window. Like,"},{"startTime":2495.993,"endTime":2498.329,"body":"keep it down."},{"startTime":2498.329,"endTime":2500.498,"body":"Yeah, yeah. I got like the mom."},{"startTime":2500.498,"endTime":2505.753,"body":"And then I had the night cap"},{"startTime":2500.498,"endTime":2505.753,"body":"and the gown, like, know, and"},{"startTime":2505.836,"endTime":2508.631,"body":"now it's 430."},{"startTime":2508.631,"endTime":2512.718,"body":"I think you were like, She is right."},{"startTime":2512.76,"endTime":2513.302,"body":"Shut up."},{"startTime":2513.302,"endTime":2514.136,"body":"She's not wrong."},{"startTime":2514.136,"endTime":2517.139,"body":"Yeah,"},{"startTime":2517.181,"endTime":2518.182,"body":"it was good."},{"startTime":2518.182,"endTime":2520.559,"body":"I have to interject about rape jokes."},{"startTime":2520.559,"endTime":2521.018,"body":"I was."},{"startTime":2521.018,"endTime":2522.394,"body":"I was just."},{"startTime":2522.394,"endTime":2524.104,"body":"Just because I want to slam somebody."},{"startTime":2524.104,"endTime":2528.567,"body":"I was doing punch up on two broke girls,"},{"startTime":2524.104,"endTime":2528.567,"body":"and I kind of took it upon myself"},{"startTime":2528.817,"endTime":2530.194,"body":"to get the rape jokes out."},{"startTime":2530.194,"endTime":2532.696,"body":"But I think the showrunner thought"},{"startTime":2530.194,"endTime":2532.696,"body":"it was really edgy"},{"startTime":2532.696,"endTime":2536.283,"body":"and so doing punch up on a show like,"},{"startTime":2532.696,"endTime":2536.283,"body":"you know, you film something"},{"startTime":2536.283,"endTime":2539.954,"body":"and then you give it a second"},{"startTime":2536.283,"endTime":2539.954,"body":"try with new jokes and so on."},{"startTime":2539.954,"endTime":2542.998,"body":"The second try, the showrunner says, Well,"},{"startTime":2539.954,"endTime":2542.998,"body":"I know you don't like that"},{"startTime":2542.998,"endTime":2544.5,"body":"because it's a rape joke. What do you got?"},{"startTime":2544.5,"endTime":2547.836,"body":"But he said it almost like, Well,"},{"startTime":2544.5,"endTime":2547.836,"body":"you know, I know that's your thing."},{"startTime":2547.836,"endTime":2550.172,"body":"You don't think rape is funny."},{"startTime":2550.172,"endTime":2553.717,"body":"You know, like like I'm allergic"},{"startTime":2550.172,"endTime":2553.717,"body":"to cranberries or something."},{"startTime":2553.717,"endTime":2555.344,"body":"Like, I know you and, you know."},{"startTime":2555.344,"endTime":2556.72,"body":"You're the one. Mary Ellen."},{"startTime":2556.72,"endTime":2560.182,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":2556.72,"endTime":2560.182,"body":"It's like, okay. Yeah, you're right."},{"startTime":2560.266,"endTime":2562.893,"body":"Clearly only my brother."},{"startTime":2562.893,"endTime":2563.519,"body":"Right?"},{"startTime":2563.519,"endTime":2567.273,"body":"Your law with the vegetable option."},{"startTime":2567.356,"endTime":2568.607,"body":"Exactly."},{"startTime":2568.607,"endTime":2573.904,"body":"Okay, let me slow everything down"},{"startTime":2568.607,"endTime":2573.904,"body":"and care about women."},{"startTime":2573.988,"endTime":2575.489,"body":"When this show was that."},{"startTime":2575.489,"endTime":2577.491,"body":"That was a network show, right? Yeah."},{"startTime":2577.491,"endTime":2579.368,"body":"Yeah. CBS wasn't. There."},{"startTime":2579.368,"endTime":2580.786,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2579.368,"endTime":2580.786,"body":"And they're still trying to say that."},{"startTime":2580.786,"endTime":2582.997,"body":"By way,"},{"startTime":2582.997,"endTime":2584.915,"body":"you would think that would be,"},{"startTime":2582.997,"endTime":2584.915,"body":"like, squeaky clean."},{"startTime":2584.915,"endTime":2588.002,"body":"Yeah, right. In like, your TV work."},{"startTime":2588.002,"endTime":2590.421,"body":"Did they have to clean up your set"},{"startTime":2588.002,"endTime":2590.421,"body":"or anything for you came in?"},{"startTime":2590.421,"endTime":2591.213,"body":"Not really."},{"startTime":2591.213,"endTime":2594.008,"body":"You're clean."},{"startTime":2591.213,"endTime":2594.008,"body":"You're not really, like a filthy comedian."},{"startTime":2594.008,"endTime":2595.175,"body":"Is that like a rule you try to have?"},{"startTime":2595.175,"endTime":2597.553,"body":"Or do you have any rules"},{"startTime":2595.175,"endTime":2597.553,"body":"that are consistent of like,"},{"startTime":2597.553,"endTime":2598.971,"body":"does that a mindful thing of yours?"},{"startTime":2598.971,"endTime":2602.641,"body":"Like if I want to, like,"},{"startTime":2598.971,"endTime":2602.641,"body":"put something on television or like"},{"startTime":2602.725,"endTime":2606.27,"body":"have it in a place where I can like"},{"startTime":2602.725,"endTime":2606.27,"body":"have the most possible,"},{"startTime":2606.312,"endTime":2608.105,"body":"you know, serious plays or something?"},{"startTime":2608.105,"endTime":2610.441,"body":"Yeah, that's something"},{"startTime":2608.105,"endTime":2610.441,"body":"I'm going to be mindful of."},{"startTime":2610.441,"endTime":2614.069,"body":"But I guess in general,"},{"startTime":2610.441,"endTime":2614.069,"body":"I just don't really skew that way."},{"startTime":2614.278,"endTime":2619.283,"body":"We did a show called Parfait"},{"startTime":2614.278,"endTime":2619.283,"body":"and I was very loosely writing like, Well,"},{"startTime":2619.283,"endTime":2622.036,"body":"we were all writing stuff,"},{"startTime":2619.283,"endTime":2622.036,"body":"but like it would just be like an idea"},{"startTime":2622.036,"endTime":2624.83,"body":"and they'd just like, give it to"},{"startTime":2622.036,"endTime":2624.83,"body":"Maggie, and Maggie would blow it up."},{"startTime":2624.83,"endTime":2626.582,"body":"Like,"},{"startTime":2624.83,"endTime":2626.582,"body":"it was really fun to do sketches with you"},{"startTime":2626.582,"endTime":2629.585,"body":"because I think you're really natural"},{"startTime":2626.582,"endTime":2629.585,"body":"in that environment."},{"startTime":2629.585,"endTime":2630.878,"body":"Well, thank you. You came out here"},{"startTime":2630.878,"endTime":2633.422,"body":"to pursue acting as well,"},{"startTime":2630.878,"endTime":2633.422,"body":"or just whatever comedy brings you."},{"startTime":2633.422,"endTime":2636.3,"body":"Acting to just anything funny."},{"startTime":2636.3,"endTime":2638.844,"body":"Yeah. You are dramatic."},{"startTime":2636.3,"endTime":2638.844,"body":"I'll cry for money."},{"startTime":2638.844,"endTime":2640.429,"body":"Yeah, You like to."},{"startTime":2640.429,"endTime":2642.848,"body":"I mean, you do sketch comedy as well"},{"startTime":2640.429,"endTime":2642.848,"body":"that's something that you."},{"startTime":2642.848,"endTime":2645.225,"body":"Yeah, but you write that sometimes."},{"startTime":2645.225,"endTime":2647.436,"body":"Yeah. Do you audition for commercials"},{"startTime":2645.225,"endTime":2647.436,"body":"and all that stuff?"},{"startTime":2647.436,"endTime":2648.145,"body":"Mm hmm. Okay."},{"startTime":2648.145,"endTime":2649.438,"body":"I'm so. I have makeup on right now."},{"startTime":2649.438,"endTime":2651.398,"body":"I had a self tape that I."},{"startTime":2651.398,"endTime":2653.484,"body":"Do a brand. Oh, my God. Did you get that?"},{"startTime":2653.484,"endTime":2655.778,"body":"There's an email that they're like,"},{"startTime":2653.484,"endTime":2655.778,"body":"self tapes are here to stay."},{"startTime":2655.778,"endTime":2658.238,"body":"I was like, Man, I fucking hate that."},{"startTime":2658.238,"endTime":2661.659,"body":"I want to humiliate myself"},{"startTime":2658.238,"endTime":2661.659,"body":"in a room full of people alone."},{"startTime":2661.867,"endTime":2663.243,"body":"Yeah, on my phone."},{"startTime":2663.243,"endTime":2665.913,"body":"I want to walk out in front"},{"startTime":2663.243,"endTime":2665.913,"body":"of all the people who have an audition."},{"startTime":2665.913,"endTime":2670.959,"body":"Didn't have to have,"},{"startTime":2665.913,"endTime":2670.959,"body":"like, a brave smile for that."},{"startTime":2671.043,"endTime":2672.336,"body":"You know, you just ate ass in"},{"startTime":2672.336,"endTime":2673.796,"body":"there and you're like,"},{"startTime":2672.336,"endTime":2673.796,"body":"And it's still not going to get it."},{"startTime":2673.796,"endTime":2677.299,"body":"My favorite is the one actor"},{"startTime":2673.796,"endTime":2677.299,"body":"who says Break legs."},{"startTime":2677.383,"endTime":2680.052,"body":"All right, I want to strangle that person."},{"startTime":2680.052,"endTime":2681.845,"body":"Right? There's always one. Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":2681.845,"endTime":2684.39,"body":"There's like, the actor. Actor."},{"startTime":2681.845,"endTime":2684.39,"body":"They're really nice."},{"startTime":2684.39,"endTime":2686.225,"body":"Yeah, they're really nice."},{"startTime":2686.225,"endTime":2689.561,"body":"Yeah. Yeah, they were to me anyway."},{"startTime":2689.645,"endTime":2694.233,"body":"Yeah, they give the the next people"},{"startTime":2689.645,"endTime":2694.233,"body":"a review of the atmosphere in the room."},{"startTime":2694.233,"endTime":2695.818,"body":"Yeah. Oh, my God."},{"startTime":2695.818,"endTime":2697.903,"body":"See, I find everybody. That one."},{"startTime":2695.818,"endTime":2697.903,"body":"What's that?"},{"startTime":2697.903,"endTime":2700.447,"body":"Have fun, everybody. Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":2700.447,"endTime":2701.115,"body":"Any of that."},{"startTime":2701.115,"endTime":2703.409,"body":"Although I did"},{"startTime":2701.115,"endTime":2703.409,"body":"see that I cut out of the show last night."},{"startTime":2703.409,"endTime":2706.62,"body":"I was at a club in Burbank"},{"startTime":2703.409,"endTime":2706.62,"body":"and I was like, third on the list."},{"startTime":2706.62,"endTime":2708.205,"body":"And I flew out of there. Right."},{"startTime":2708.205,"endTime":2710.499,"body":"Like, as soon as they did my thing,"},{"startTime":2708.205,"endTime":2710.499,"body":"I go by everybody."},{"startTime":2710.499,"endTime":2712.501,"body":"And one of the greens goes, Oh."},{"startTime":2712.501,"endTime":2713.252,"body":"You're kidding me."},{"startTime":2713.252,"endTime":2716.255,"body":"Yes. Like, I was like,"},{"startTime":2713.252,"endTime":2716.255,"body":"Am I supposed to stick around and watch?"},{"startTime":2716.255,"endTime":2718.882,"body":"I have to go home and get in bed? Yeah."},{"startTime":2718.966,"endTime":2720.592,"body":"Immediately."},{"startTime":2720.592,"endTime":2722.344,"body":"I think"},{"startTime":2720.592,"endTime":2722.344,"body":"I got to start putting bedding in my truck"},{"startTime":2722.344,"endTime":2725.431,"body":"so I can just do that,"},{"startTime":2722.344,"endTime":2725.431,"body":"maybe return to the venue or get hot."},{"startTime":2725.472,"endTime":2728.392,"body":"Haven't we done that together? Yeah."},{"startTime":2728.392,"endTime":2729.935,"body":"Yeah. Tailgating."},{"startTime":2729.935,"endTime":2730.728,"body":"We had that."},{"startTime":2730.728,"endTime":2731.27,"body":"Pre-party."},{"startTime":2731.27,"endTime":2733.856,"body":"Thing, so it isn't about"},{"startTime":2731.27,"endTime":2733.856,"body":"Have you ever done that?"},{"startTime":2733.856,"endTime":2734.815,"body":"We did. That."},{"startTime":2734.815,"endTime":2737.943,"body":"That was one of my favorite"},{"startTime":2734.815,"endTime":2737.943,"body":"memories is we were singing karaoke"},{"startTime":2738.026,"endTime":2741.113,"body":"with a group of friends"},{"startTime":2738.026,"endTime":2741.113,"body":"and at the same time,"},{"startTime":2741.238,"endTime":2743.407,"body":"but I think Maggie leaned over was like,"},{"startTime":2741.238,"endTime":2743.407,"body":"This party needs something."},{"startTime":2743.407,"endTime":2746.243,"body":"So we go to the we go to like CVS."},{"startTime":2746.243,"endTime":2748.954,"body":"I walk out with you guys"},{"startTime":2748.954,"endTime":2751.957,"body":"and we buy a shit ton of candy. Yes."},{"startTime":2752.166,"endTime":2756.128,"body":"And then like, sparkly"},{"startTime":2752.166,"endTime":2756.128,"body":"grape juice and like Andre champagne."},{"startTime":2756.295,"endTime":2758.839,"body":"Oh. And we were going to cran."},{"startTime":2756.295,"endTime":2758.839,"body":"Grape. Juice."},{"startTime":2758.839,"endTime":2760.174,"body":"Cran grape juice, Yes."},{"startTime":2760.174,"endTime":2762.259,"body":"And we were going"},{"startTime":2760.174,"endTime":2762.259,"body":"to jack up the party inside."},{"startTime":2762.259,"endTime":2766.555,"body":"But when we came back with all this candy"},{"startTime":2762.259,"endTime":2766.555,"body":"and toys and boozer people"},{"startTime":2766.638,"endTime":2770.434,"body":"as the group was karaoke ing,"},{"startTime":2766.638,"endTime":2770.434,"body":"that's what friends are for."},{"startTime":2770.434,"endTime":2774.188,"body":"So we got to walk in the room, were like,"},{"startTime":2770.434,"endTime":2774.188,"body":"That's what friends are for."},{"startTime":2774.271,"endTime":2776.607,"body":"Oh, that's my favorite"},{"startTime":2774.271,"endTime":2776.607,"body":"I. Showed up with, though."},{"startTime":2776.607,"endTime":2780.152,"body":"Cran Grape Champs."},{"startTime":2776.607,"endTime":2780.152,"body":"Yes, those are the best."},{"startTime":2780.152,"endTime":2781.32,"body":"That's also when I discovered"},{"startTime":2781.32,"endTime":2785.532,"body":"that a really good group"},{"startTime":2781.32,"endTime":2785.532,"body":"song is Mariah Carey O Holy Night."},{"startTime":2785.616,"endTime":2786.7,"body":"It's not a Christmas song."},{"startTime":2786.7,"endTime":2788.452,"body":"No, it is, but doesn't matter."},{"startTime":2788.452,"endTime":2791.455,"body":"So like Mariah Carey and like dramatic"},{"startTime":2788.452,"endTime":2791.455,"body":"that it will, like, inspire."},{"startTime":2791.705,"endTime":2794.5,"body":"Do you karaoke? No. Can you sing? No."},{"startTime":2794.5,"endTime":2796.919,"body":"Have you ever tried? Yes."},{"startTime":2794.5,"endTime":2796.919,"body":"You don't like it?"},{"startTime":2796.919,"endTime":2797.669,"body":"I know."},{"startTime":2797.669,"endTime":2800.255,"body":"I'm not going to make you say I can sing."},{"startTime":2797.669,"endTime":2800.255,"body":"If I'm."},{"startTime":2800.255,"endTime":2802.966,"body":"Kind of trying to do an impression,"},{"startTime":2800.255,"endTime":2802.966,"body":"I can kind of."},{"startTime":2802.966,"endTime":2805.636,"body":"A little bit. Okay. But other than that."},{"startTime":2805.636,"endTime":2806.804,"body":"You got real quiet on that."},{"startTime":2806.804,"endTime":2808.722,"body":"I No, but that's because it's something"},{"startTime":2806.804,"endTime":2808.722,"body":"I want to do."},{"startTime":2808.722,"endTime":2810.849,"body":"I wish I really could sing."},{"startTime":2808.722,"endTime":2810.849,"body":"I wish you could take lessons."},{"startTime":2810.849,"endTime":2814.645,"body":"You have such a velvety voice that"},{"startTime":2810.849,"endTime":2814.645,"body":"all you would have to do is just talk."},{"startTime":2814.853,"endTime":2817.856,"body":"Oh, you. Know, I told you hypnotize."},{"startTime":2818.023,"endTime":2820.15,"body":"I listened back to"},{"startTime":2818.023,"endTime":2820.15,"body":"you reading your poetry."},{"startTime":2820.15,"endTime":2822.236,"body":"We need you to read the whole poem."},{"startTime":2822.236,"endTime":2823.237,"body":"Oh, that was so awful."},{"startTime":2823.237,"endTime":2824.53,"body":"Why don't you write poetry in high school?"},{"startTime":2824.53,"endTime":2826.365,"body":"We would be okay."},{"startTime":2826.365,"endTime":2827.241,"body":"I still."},{"startTime":2827.241,"endTime":2832.955,"body":"I have a notebook of, like, poetry that"},{"startTime":2827.241,"endTime":2832.955,"body":"I wrote and, like, different accounts."},{"startTime":2832.955,"endTime":2834.748,"body":"I still have it with me,"},{"startTime":2832.955,"endTime":2834.748,"body":"and I look through it"},{"startTime":2834.748,"endTime":2836.75,"body":"sometimes, like, Wow, I really thought."},{"startTime":2836.75,"endTime":2838.71,"body":"I was gonna write. Oh."},{"startTime":2838.71,"endTime":2840.295,"body":"I look back, I think."},{"startTime":2840.295,"endTime":2842.923,"body":"I can't believe I lived."},{"startTime":2843.006,"endTime":2843.34,"body":"I was so."},{"startTime":2843.34,"endTime":2843.966,"body":"Depressed."},{"startTime":2843.966,"endTime":2845.217,"body":"Yeah, but yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":2845.217,"endTime":2847.052,"body":"Laura's was about car crash."},{"startTime":2847.052,"endTime":2851.348,"body":"Crash mine was about a ghost"},{"startTime":2847.052,"endTime":2851.348,"body":"in a graveyard or love."},{"startTime":2851.348,"endTime":2853.809,"body":"And the words are between"},{"startTime":2851.348,"endTime":2853.809,"body":"a boy and a girl."},{"startTime":2853.809,"endTime":2855.185,"body":"So I was very."},{"startTime":2855.185,"endTime":2858.105,"body":"I was very binary."},{"startTime":2855.185,"endTime":2858.105,"body":"What were you writing about?"},{"startTime":2858.105,"endTime":2861.108,"body":"Just random, like, existential stuff"},{"startTime":2861.149,"endTime":2864.528,"body":"that I thought that I came up with."},{"startTime":2864.57,"endTime":2866.238,"body":"Myself and."},{"startTime":2866.238,"endTime":2867.823,"body":"I was just like, Oh, my gosh, is it?"},{"startTime":2867.823,"endTime":2871.618,"body":"And it's like you're talking"},{"startTime":2867.823,"endTime":2871.618,"body":"about the categorical imperative, like."},{"startTime":2871.702,"endTime":2874.621,"body":"Oh, hey, what are you talking about?"},{"startTime":2874.621,"endTime":2876.248,"body":"But it's all just like,"},{"startTime":2876.248,"endTime":2879.835,"body":"Oh my gosh, you never know"},{"startTime":2876.248,"endTime":2879.835,"body":"what's going on behind someone's eyes."},{"startTime":2879.835,"endTime":2883.839,"body":"And there's like a lot of,"},{"startTime":2879.835,"endTime":2883.839,"body":"like, depressed and like,"},{"startTime":2883.881,"endTime":2887.05,"body":"thinking that I had come up with."},{"startTime":2887.134,"endTime":2888.844,"body":"It's just it's."},{"startTime":2888.844,"endTime":2891.805,"body":"She tried her best. Yeah."},{"startTime":2891.889,"endTime":2894.099,"body":"She, she needed the outlet."},{"startTime":2894.099,"endTime":2896.768,"body":"I yeah I wrote in secret mine was various"},{"startTime":2896.768,"endTime":2899.938,"body":"secretive and there was a hutch right."},{"startTime":2899.938,"endTime":2904.109,"body":"With all the dishes in it that had like"},{"startTime":2899.938,"endTime":2904.109,"body":"a skeleton key or like a key I guess."},{"startTime":2904.359,"endTime":2905.903,"body":"But yeah, I would lock mine in there."},{"startTime":2905.903,"endTime":2907.446,"body":"All dramatic. Wow."},{"startTime":2907.446,"endTime":2909.489,"body":"And I'd like, wait, we're no one to look."},{"startTime":2909.489,"endTime":2912.159,"body":"And then I'd get my poetry out,"},{"startTime":2909.489,"endTime":2912.159,"body":"and. Right."},{"startTime":2912.159,"endTime":2914.536,"body":"I was hoping some, like,"},{"startTime":2912.159,"endTime":2914.536,"body":"Prince would find it."},{"startTime":2914.536,"endTime":2916.204,"body":"I mean,"},{"startTime":2916.204,"endTime":2919.207,"body":"I'd like to sleep with the killer"},{"startTime":2916.204,"endTime":2919.207,"body":"on my wrist and shit."},{"startTime":2919.416,"endTime":2920.918,"body":"Yeah, well, I. Yeah, you did."},{"startTime":2920.918,"endTime":2922.169,"body":"You wasn't going to find yours."},{"startTime":2922.169,"endTime":2924.212,"body":"Well, no, but my mom always did."},{"startTime":2924.212,"endTime":2926.298,"body":"No matter what,"},{"startTime":2924.212,"endTime":2926.298,"body":"she would find it and read it."},{"startTime":2926.298,"endTime":2929.301,"body":"And I even put something in there like,"},{"startTime":2926.298,"endTime":2929.301,"body":"you know, you."},{"startTime":2929.343,"endTime":2929.801,"body":"Might say."},{"startTime":2929.801,"endTime":2933.388,"body":"Like, my mom is a Snoopy bitch"},{"startTime":2929.801,"endTime":2933.388,"body":"if she's looking at this."},{"startTime":2933.43,"endTime":2935.891,"body":"Really? What? I mean, Yeah. Oh."},{"startTime":2935.891,"endTime":2936.767,"body":"But you want to."},{"startTime":2936.767,"endTime":2939.269,"body":"You want to competition and you were."},{"startTime":2936.767,"endTime":2939.269,"body":"And they read. It."},{"startTime":2939.269,"endTime":2940.062,"body":"Oh, that was in high school."},{"startTime":2940.062,"endTime":2942.189,"body":"It was a Spanish competition. Oh that."},{"startTime":2942.189,"endTime":2943.231,"body":"Oh no, no. Right."},{"startTime":2943.231,"endTime":2943.774,"body":"I also Yeah."},{"startTime":2943.774,"endTime":2946.401,"body":"That was like a and what the fun question."},{"startTime":2946.401,"endTime":2947.653,"body":"What's the Spanish competition."},{"startTime":2947.653,"endTime":2949.696,"body":"Oh yeah. I was in the Spanish class."},{"startTime":2949.696,"endTime":2953.241,"body":"We went to Fredonia State College"},{"startTime":2949.696,"endTime":2953.241,"body":"for a competition"},{"startTime":2953.241,"endTime":2956.495,"body":"and I read a poem in Spanish, and I won."},{"startTime":2956.578,"endTime":2959.081,"body":"What? Where's that poem."},{"startTime":2959.081,"endTime":2960.29,"body":"Laura? I remember what it's called."},{"startTime":2960.29,"endTime":2964.127,"body":"It was called loosely"},{"startTime":2960.29,"endTime":2964.127,"body":"Boss of the Olive Trees."},{"startTime":2964.211,"endTime":2967.464,"body":"What was it about? Olive trees. Really?"},{"startTime":2967.547,"endTime":2974.388,"body":"It's this very cameo of you"},{"startTime":2974.429,"endTime":2976.306,"body":"writing about olive trees."},{"startTime":2976.306,"endTime":2978.558,"body":"Where you in Algiers during the war?"},{"startTime":2978.558,"endTime":2980.644,"body":"No, it was an olive tree."},{"startTime":2980.644,"endTime":2980.978,"body":"It was."},{"startTime":2980.978,"endTime":2982.562,"body":"It was a poem"},{"startTime":2980.978,"endTime":2982.562,"body":"that had already been written."},{"startTime":2982.562,"endTime":2984.815,"body":"I mean, I was just reading this"},{"startTime":2982.562,"endTime":2984.815,"body":"famous Spanish poem."},{"startTime":2984.815,"endTime":2987.067,"body":"I mean, I didn't know what it was."},{"startTime":2984.815,"endTime":2987.067,"body":"I was just, you know."},{"startTime":2987.067,"endTime":2989.82,"body":"I see. I had an"},{"startTime":2987.067,"endTime":2989.82,"body":"I had to memorize the Spanish. Poem."},{"startTime":2989.82,"endTime":2993.24,"body":"Not that not the Van Gogh painting."},{"startTime":2993.323,"endTime":2995.117,"body":"Have you read Kimo a Happy Death?"},{"startTime":2995.117,"endTime":2998.203,"body":"No, he's"},{"startTime":2995.117,"endTime":2998.203,"body":"just fucking in Algiers in olive trees."},{"startTime":2998.245,"endTime":3000.747,"body":"Oh, he's like a Laura Kightlinger poem."},{"startTime":3000.747,"endTime":3001.748,"body":"Oh, I like that."},{"startTime":3001.748,"endTime":3004.376,"body":"I was going to say we should all try to"},{"startTime":3001.748,"endTime":3004.376,"body":"write a poem in Spanish for the next show."},{"startTime":3004.376,"endTime":3006.712,"body":"That's your challenge."},{"startTime":3004.376,"endTime":3006.712,"body":"Okay. We have to write about fucking."},{"startTime":3006.712,"endTime":3010.924,"body":"Olives and Maggie, when you come back,"},{"startTime":3006.712,"endTime":3010.924,"body":"we have to hear your high school poem."},{"startTime":3011.091,"endTime":3012.384,"body":"Oh, I'll bring the notebook."},{"startTime":3012.384,"endTime":3013.844,"body":"Okay, Well, here's the thing."},{"startTime":3013.844,"endTime":3016.888,"body":"I remember having a friend"},{"startTime":3013.844,"endTime":3016.888,"body":"or like a couple of friends"},{"startTime":3016.888,"endTime":3024.104,"body":"read of the poems, and they were just"},{"startTime":3016.888,"endTime":3024.104,"body":"like, Why did this happen?"},{"startTime":3024.187,"endTime":3025.188,"body":"Why is this?"},{"startTime":3025.188,"endTime":3025.731,"body":"And I was like."},{"startTime":3025.731,"endTime":3027.816,"body":"Oh, I know"},{"startTime":3027.816,"endTime":3029.109,"body":"you read ours to each other."},{"startTime":3029.109,"endTime":3030.652,"body":"That was agony."},{"startTime":3030.652,"endTime":3032.487,"body":"I was years were years were good."},{"startTime":3032.487,"endTime":3035.949,"body":"No, I had huge anxiety in that moment."},{"startTime":3035.991,"endTime":3037.826,"body":"We should come back and do it again. Okay."},{"startTime":3037.826,"endTime":3039.077,"body":"Because I know I more poems."},{"startTime":3039.077,"endTime":3041.038,"body":"You do too, Maggie. Let's do a plug."},{"startTime":3041.038,"endTime":3043.874,"body":"Are you going out and performing anywhere"},{"startTime":3041.038,"endTime":3043.874,"body":"soon? You're working."},{"startTime":3043.874,"endTime":3044.541,"body":"People find you."},{"startTime":3044.541,"endTime":3046.418,"body":"Oh, what's your special call? Did you."},{"startTime":3046.418,"endTime":3048.92,"body":"Have you gone to all that and named it"},{"startTime":3046.418,"endTime":3048.92,"body":"and everything?"},{"startTime":3048.92,"endTime":3052.34,"body":"You haven't quite 100% landed on?"},{"startTime":3052.34,"endTime":3055.01,"body":"It's something I'm just kind of honing in."},{"startTime":3055.01,"endTime":3056.845,"body":"Have you been in Montana now?"},{"startTime":3056.845,"endTime":3059.723,"body":"It's really pretty, but"},{"startTime":3056.845,"endTime":3059.723,"body":"I would be terrified to do stand up there."},{"startTime":3059.723,"endTime":3060.557,"body":"I can imagine."},{"startTime":3060.557,"endTime":3060.891,"body":"Oh, shoot."},{"startTime":3060.891,"endTime":3063.56,"body":"I'm going to be in San Diego"},{"startTime":3060.891,"endTime":3063.56,"body":"next week. Yes."},{"startTime":3063.56,"endTime":3072.736,"body":"Oh, well, take take me shitting on."},{"startTime":3072.819,"endTime":3075.03,"body":"No, it might be that way."},{"startTime":3075.03,"endTime":3075.989,"body":"It might not be that way."},{"startTime":3075.989,"endTime":3078.825,"body":"For. For, you know. Everyone."},{"startTime":3078.825,"endTime":3081.953,"body":"But just like, go in liking Trump."},{"startTime":3081.953,"endTime":3084.122,"body":"Maggie That's it. Yeah."},{"startTime":3084.122,"endTime":3086.291,"body":"Going"},{"startTime":3086.291,"endTime":3088.085,"body":"on is Trump is being set up."},{"startTime":3088.085,"endTime":3091.63,"body":"Yeah. And then a 12 minute applause break."},{"startTime":3091.713,"endTime":3093.173,"body":"Yeah, there you go. Yeah."},{"startTime":3093.173,"endTime":3095.675,"body":"And that's their time to get."},{"startTime":3095.675,"endTime":3097.469,"body":"Carried out by them. Yeah."},{"startTime":3097.469,"endTime":3097.677,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3097.677,"endTime":3100.43,"body":"Well, this is a San"},{"startTime":3097.677,"endTime":3100.43,"body":"Diego is open to interpretation."},{"startTime":3100.43,"endTime":3102.057,"body":"Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":3102.057,"endTime":3105.018,"body":"I think that's part of the delusion,"},{"startTime":3102.057,"endTime":3105.018,"body":"because I'll be like, doing a set."},{"startTime":3105.018,"endTime":3108.772,"body":"And if they're not enjoying it, be like,"},{"startTime":3105.018,"endTime":3108.772,"body":"Oh, that one guy like that."},{"startTime":3108.855,"endTime":3109.689,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3109.689,"endTime":3113.026,"body":"I do a set"},{"startTime":3109.689,"endTime":3113.026,"body":"now that says Fagot all the time"},{"startTime":3113.026,"endTime":3116.446,"body":"and it's born out of the last time"},{"startTime":3113.026,"endTime":3116.446,"body":"I went in San Diego"},{"startTime":3116.446,"endTime":3120.45,"body":"and I followed some fucking old MAGA dude,"},{"startTime":3116.446,"endTime":3120.45,"body":"and I'm always thinking in me."},{"startTime":3120.45,"endTime":3123.995,"body":"But he was like, That was his whole shtick"},{"startTime":3120.45,"endTime":3123.995,"body":"was I'm the world's worst nightmare."},{"startTime":3124.079,"endTime":3127.082,"body":"He goes, I say,"},{"startTime":3124.079,"endTime":3127.082,"body":"he says, like I say, fagot."},{"startTime":3127.165,"endTime":3128.375,"body":"And everybody laughed."},{"startTime":3128.375,"endTime":3131.086,"body":"And then he was like, I say, the N-word,"},{"startTime":3128.375,"endTime":3131.086,"body":"but just to friends and family."},{"startTime":3131.086,"endTime":3132.671,"body":"But he abbreviated the N-word."},{"startTime":3132.671,"endTime":3135.549,"body":"I was like,"},{"startTime":3132.671,"endTime":3135.549,"body":"Have some fucking. Balls because."},{"startTime":3135.59,"endTime":3137.467,"body":"I had to go back, you know, and like,"},{"startTime":3137.467,"endTime":3140.72,"body":"you know, balance out"},{"startTime":3137.467,"endTime":3140.72,"body":"his fucking rhetoric and be like,"},{"startTime":3140.72,"endTime":3142.931,"body":"I was trying to get an audience on my side"},{"startTime":3142.931,"endTime":3146.518,"body":"who would laughed at the opener,"},{"startTime":3142.931,"endTime":3146.518,"body":"who did about 10 minutes on like autism."},{"startTime":3146.685,"endTime":3147.769,"body":"Oh, God."},{"startTime":3147.769,"endTime":3149.062,"body":"Without being autistic."},{"startTime":3149.062,"endTime":3152.065,"body":"I don't know. Have fun is Diego Maggie."},{"startTime":3152.274,"endTime":3154.526,"body":"I have a great fagot that I mean"},{"startTime":3152.274,"endTime":3154.526,"body":"fucking time."},{"startTime":3154.526,"endTime":3157.529,"body":"Yeah, Things are going."},{"startTime":3157.612,"endTime":3158.905,"body":"Thank you"},{"startTime":3158.905,"endTime":3159.865,"body":"so much. Fine."},{"startTime":3159.865,"endTime":3161.867,"body":"Exquisite work."},{"startTime":3159.865,"endTime":3161.867,"body":"Oh, yeah. We're going. To meet."},{"startTime":3161.867,"endTime":3163.16,"body":"I don't think it's at a club."},{"startTime":3163.16,"endTime":3165.287,"body":"It's called The Bad, Bad Show."},{"startTime":3165.287,"endTime":3167.122,"body":"I don't have a location for it."},{"startTime":3167.122,"endTime":3168.915,"body":"I think it's a secret location."},{"startTime":3168.915,"endTime":3169.583,"body":"Oh, okay."},{"startTime":3169.583,"endTime":3172.711,"body":"Yeah, I'm doing a couple of those secret"},{"startTime":3169.583,"endTime":3172.711,"body":"shows next week"},{"startTime":3172.711,"endTime":3174.963,"body":"where they don't"},{"startTime":3172.711,"endTime":3174.963,"body":"really tell you where it's going to be."},{"startTime":3174.963,"endTime":3176.506,"body":"Okay, You got to show up to somewhere."},{"startTime":3176.506,"endTime":3178.925,"body":"Yeah, it sounds suspicious,"},{"startTime":3176.506,"endTime":3178.925,"body":"but at the end of it, there's a paycheck."},{"startTime":3178.925,"endTime":3180.927,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah, right."},{"startTime":3180.927,"endTime":3183.722,"body":"I did one in San Diego"},{"startTime":3180.927,"endTime":3183.722,"body":"with a gym, actually."},{"startTime":3183.722,"endTime":3185.182,"body":"Man, that's always in a gym."},{"startTime":3185.182,"endTime":3188.935,"body":"Nothing makes me feel more comedy"},{"startTime":3185.182,"endTime":3188.935,"body":"and a bunch of people getting sweaty"},{"startTime":3188.935,"endTime":3191.938,"body":"and laughing in a gym. Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":3192.147,"endTime":3193.398,"body":"This is so bacterial."},{"startTime":3193.398,"endTime":3195.066,"body":"The whole thing. Yeah, right."},{"startTime":3195.066,"endTime":3196.109,"body":"But they're great audiences."},{"startTime":3196.109,"endTime":3198.278,"body":"Yeah. Mm hmm. Yeah. Oh, well,"},{"startTime":3196.109,"endTime":3198.278,"body":"so that'll be fun."},{"startTime":3198.278,"endTime":3202.199,"body":"I performed at a surfing store"},{"startTime":3198.278,"endTime":3202.199,"body":"in, like, Huntington Beach or some shit."},{"startTime":3202.199,"endTime":3205.869,"body":"I was like,"},{"startTime":3202.199,"endTime":3205.869,"body":"Wow, this crowd is lit. Like, I"},{"startTime":3205.911,"endTime":3207.162,"body":"don't know when I'm ever going to be back"},{"startTime":3207.162,"endTime":3210.832,"body":"at this surfing store again,"},{"startTime":3207.162,"endTime":3210.832,"body":"but it was a biomass club."},{"startTime":3210.916,"endTime":3212.042,"body":"Yeah. Okay."},{"startTime":3212.042,"endTime":3213.668,"body":"Well, we're going to see. Yeah,"},{"startTime":3212.042,"endTime":3213.668,"body":"we'll find."},{"startTime":3213.668,"endTime":3215.921,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":3215.921,"endTime":3217.881,"body":"Me too. Thank you. Bye."}]}