{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":9.134,"endTime":13.805,"body":"All Okay."},{"startTime":13.888,"endTime":15.849,"body":"Here's the intro."},{"startTime":15.849,"endTime":16.599,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":16.599,"endTime":17.809,"body":"You know,"},{"startTime":17.809,"endTime":21.479,"body":"we are so fortunate here"},{"startTime":17.809,"endTime":21.479,"body":"at what we thought would happen to welcome"},{"startTime":21.479,"endTime":22.897,"body":"a very good friend of mine,"},{"startTime":22.897,"endTime":26.359,"body":"one of the funniest people I've ever met"},{"startTime":22.897,"endTime":26.359,"body":"and am lucky to know."},{"startTime":26.359,"endTime":30.989,"body":"He dropped out of high school to study,"},{"startTime":26.359,"endTime":30.989,"body":"build a craft with George Santos."},{"startTime":31.072,"endTime":36.119,"body":"Here he is, co-creator, writer of The"},{"startTime":31.072,"endTime":36.119,"body":"Minor Accomplishment of Jackie Woodman."},{"startTime":36.244,"endTime":38.705,"body":"So many other things"},{"startTime":36.244,"endTime":38.705,"body":"we can't even mention."},{"startTime":38.705,"endTime":40.749,"body":"Please welcome Dave."},{"startTime":40.749,"endTime":43.668,"body":"Punch"},{"startTime":43.668,"endTime":45.503,"body":"in front."},{"startTime":45.503,"endTime":48.465,"body":"Of a."},{"startTime":48.465,"endTime":48.715,"body":"Light."},{"startTime":48.715,"endTime":49.257,"body":"You're the set."},{"startTime":49.257,"endTime":51.676,"body":"You're"},{"startTime":49.257,"endTime":51.676,"body":"the second Bostonian we've had on here."},{"startTime":51.676,"endTime":53.136,"body":"And I'm not going to say Bostonians."},{"startTime":53.136,"endTime":59.059,"body":"That's too fancy for Boston."},{"startTime":59.142,"endTime":63.563,"body":"Yes. Dave"},{"startTime":63.646,"endTime":66.733,"body":"is There can be only one Dave punch."},{"startTime":66.9,"endTime":69.235,"body":"No, it was Ken read it and he wasn't."},{"startTime":69.235,"endTime":70.111,"body":"I have so few friends."},{"startTime":70.111,"endTime":73.406,"body":"We have to go"},{"startTime":70.111,"endTime":73.406,"body":"out of town to get this done."},{"startTime":73.49,"endTime":77.452,"body":"But Pottery and Garrett and Garrett,"},{"startTime":73.49,"endTime":77.452,"body":"the only friend is me,"},{"startTime":77.452,"endTime":78.953,"body":"which is really sad."},{"startTime":78.953,"endTime":84.209,"body":"So, Dave Punch, I've asked."},{"startTime":84.292,"endTime":89.964,"body":"And I."},{"startTime":90.048,"endTime":91.049,"body":"I've been."},{"startTime":91.049,"endTime":95.428,"body":"I've."},{"startTime":95.512,"endTime":96.846,"body":"If they were drunk and couldn't"},{"startTime":96.846,"endTime":101.935,"body":"get out of bed. Hey,"},{"startTime":102.018,"endTime":102.56,"body":"darling,"},{"startTime":102.56,"endTime":107.065,"body":"I've been asking our best, all our guests"},{"startTime":102.56,"endTime":107.065,"body":"about high school, what it was like"},{"startTime":107.065,"endTime":110.151,"body":"for them, also, I forgot what high school"},{"startTime":110.151,"endTime":117.325,"body":"you went to."},{"startTime":117.408,"endTime":138.471,"body":"Great."},{"startTime":138.555,"endTime":151.818,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":151.901,"endTime":180.763,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":180.847,"endTime":203.203,"body":"Oh, And like,"},{"startTime":203.203,"endTime":206.581,"body":"they would have"},{"startTime":206.664,"endTime":210.251,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":210.293,"endTime":212.045,"body":"But we're talking about upstate"},{"startTime":212.045,"endTime":215.965,"body":"New York, right?"},{"startTime":216.049,"endTime":219.01,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":219.01,"endTime":238.947,"body":"Yeah. Wow."},{"startTime":239.03,"endTime":239.364,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":239.364,"endTime":240.448,"body":"Like western New York?"},{"startTime":240.448,"endTime":256.339,"body":"Sure."},{"startTime":256.422,"endTime":257.757,"body":"Just football."},{"startTime":257.757,"endTime":259.509,"body":"did you have"},{"startTime":259.509,"endTime":260.218,"body":"I mean, that was."},{"startTime":260.218,"endTime":262.136,"body":"That was the town over, So. Yeah,"},{"startTime":260.218,"endTime":262.136,"body":"that was."},{"startTime":262.136,"endTime":263.972,"body":"That was exactly what my life was like."},{"startTime":263.972,"endTime":267.892,"body":"And skateboarding in a town that's,"},{"startTime":263.972,"endTime":267.892,"body":"you know, everything shuts down when that"},{"startTime":267.934,"endTime":271.813,"body":"when there's a game on Friday night just"},{"startTime":267.934,"endTime":271.813,"body":"I got beat up cause"},{"startTime":271.938,"endTime":278.736,"body":"like if I still,"},{"startTime":271.938,"endTime":278.736,"body":"if I hear a diesel engine or a mustang 5.0"},{"startTime":278.82,"endTime":281.656,"body":"the nearest bush."},{"startTime":281.656,"endTime":282.156,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":282.156,"endTime":283.574,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":283.574,"endTime":285.743,"body":"They know what to do. All right."},{"startTime":285.743,"endTime":288.746,"body":"It sounds like skateboarding was like."},{"startTime":288.871,"endTime":290.248,"body":"Yeah. Skateboarding."},{"startTime":290.248,"endTime":292.625,"body":"Was this a code word for beat"},{"startTime":290.248,"endTime":292.625,"body":"the shit out of somebody?"},{"startTime":292.625,"endTime":295.878,"body":"And then also, I have to read to,"},{"startTime":292.625,"endTime":295.878,"body":"you know, a bunch of other problems,"},{"startTime":295.92,"endTime":298.381,"body":"and it was almost like"},{"startTime":295.92,"endTime":298.381,"body":"I was asking for it."},{"startTime":298.381,"endTime":304.804,"body":"You really"},{"startTime":304.887,"endTime":309.517,"body":"know, I'm done."},{"startTime":309.6,"endTime":310.81,"body":"It looks fun."},{"startTime":310.81,"endTime":313.062,"body":"I mean, that's really all it came down to"},{"startTime":310.81,"endTime":313.062,"body":"that looked fun."},{"startTime":313.062,"endTime":316.733,"body":"And then once I started getting into it,"},{"startTime":313.062,"endTime":316.733,"body":"then there's a lot of older kids"},{"startTime":316.858,"endTime":317.567,"body":"that skated"},{"startTime":317.567,"endTime":319.152,"body":"and there was a lot of like black"},{"startTime":319.152,"endTime":321.321,"body":"and Mexican kids that skated,"},{"startTime":319.152,"endTime":321.321,"body":"which I thought was really cool"},{"startTime":321.321,"endTime":322.488,"body":"because everything else was sort of"},{"startTime":322.488,"endTime":325.742,"body":"like football was so, I mean, of course"},{"startTime":322.488,"endTime":325.742,"body":"those black Mexicans played football,"},{"startTime":325.742,"endTime":329.537,"body":"but it was such kind of a white"},{"startTime":325.742,"endTime":329.537,"body":"dominated town that it was boring."},{"startTime":329.62,"endTime":332.623,"body":"So I just, you know, it was just"},{"startTime":329.62,"endTime":332.623,"body":"something different and I look fun."},{"startTime":332.707,"endTime":334.751,"body":"But what about baseball?"},{"startTime":332.707,"endTime":334.751,"body":"I thought you were really good."},{"startTime":334.751,"endTime":337.295,"body":"But I play baseball. But I fucking hate."},{"startTime":337.295,"endTime":343.718,"body":"Like, once I started playing, I played."},{"startTime":343.801,"endTime":346.637,"body":"It was fun"},{"startTime":343.801,"endTime":346.637,"body":"until, like, I started playing all stars"},{"startTime":346.637,"endTime":352.81,"body":"and having to travel and then having other"},{"startTime":346.637,"endTime":352.81,"body":"people's dads yell at me and like"},{"startTime":352.894,"endTime":353.853,"body":"high school."},{"startTime":353.853,"endTime":355.772,"body":"I just was like, I'm done with it."},{"startTime":355.772,"endTime":356.647,"body":"So I quit."},{"startTime":356.647,"endTime":360.526,"body":"My dad used to umpire"},{"startTime":356.647,"endTime":360.526,"body":"our little league games in his court"},{"startTime":360.568,"endTime":369.786,"body":"because he was a"},{"startTime":369.869,"endTime":385.051,"body":"the system."},{"startTime":385.134,"endTime":401.776,"body":"Oh, I was."},{"startTime":401.776,"endTime":406.531,"body":"I was, you know, actually I remembered"},{"startTime":401.776,"endTime":406.531,"body":"there was one sport that I didn't get"},{"startTime":406.531,"endTime":410.868,"body":"kicked out over asked not to come back to,"},{"startTime":406.531,"endTime":410.868,"body":"and that was field hockey."},{"startTime":410.868,"endTime":412.12,"body":"I think that's white trash."},{"startTime":412.12,"endTime":442.984,"body":"Lacrosse."},{"startTime":443.025,"endTime":445.862,"body":"I've never gotten"},{"startTime":445.862,"endTime":450.45,"body":"a great."},{"startTime":450.533,"endTime":461.544,"body":"Amazing."},{"startTime":461.627,"endTime":462.879,"body":"I really liked it."},{"startTime":462.879,"endTime":467.049,"body":"It was something we could do that"},{"startTime":462.879,"endTime":467.049,"body":"or tennis, you know, in gym class."},{"startTime":467.049,"endTime":469.635,"body":"And then I couldn't hit anything."},{"startTime":469.635,"endTime":473.181,"body":"So I decided to hit other girls"},{"startTime":469.635,"endTime":473.181,"body":"in the kneecaps."},{"startTime":473.264,"endTime":476.058,"body":"And and I loved it"},{"startTime":476.1,"endTime":476.851,"body":"on the field."},{"startTime":476.851,"endTime":479.27,"body":"I fucking I really had fun."},{"startTime":476.851,"endTime":479.27,"body":"And we all had fun."},{"startTime":479.27,"endTime":480.438,"body":"I feel like we laughed a lot."},{"startTime":480.438,"endTime":483.149,"body":"Like, rolling around,"},{"startTime":480.438,"endTime":483.149,"body":"holding your Yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":483.149,"endTime":485.026,"body":"It wasn't very professional, you know?"},{"startTime":485.026,"endTime":488.446,"body":"It was just it was part of"},{"startTime":485.026,"endTime":488.446,"body":"a, you know, the curriculum really."},{"startTime":488.446,"endTime":490.948,"body":"You could choose and so I loved it."},{"startTime":490.948,"endTime":494.494,"body":"I really it was at one time"},{"startTime":490.948,"endTime":494.494,"body":"I felt like I, didn't get picked last."},{"startTime":494.494,"endTime":499.79,"body":"It was great."},{"startTime":499.874,"endTime":500.875,"body":"Oh, gee."},{"startTime":500.875,"endTime":506.255,"body":"At least at least I think it helped me"},{"startTime":500.875,"endTime":506.255,"body":"to, you know, hold grudges later on."},{"startTime":506.255,"endTime":510.468,"body":"If that's a character builder,"},{"startTime":506.255,"endTime":510.468,"body":"I don't know."},{"startTime":510.551,"endTime":513.554,"body":"I was able to stack up my enemies,"},{"startTime":510.551,"endTime":513.554,"body":"you know, And."},{"startTime":513.638,"endTime":515.806,"body":"You're still ranking in the in The Grudge."},{"startTime":515.806,"endTime":518.392,"body":"And Thank you so much. I know."},{"startTime":518.392,"endTime":519.018,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":519.018,"endTime":525.816,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":525.9,"endTime":527.61,"body":"Oh, I just want,"},{"startTime":527.61,"endTime":531.364,"body":"you know, when I'm talking to writers,"},{"startTime":527.61,"endTime":531.364,"body":"artists, comics, you know, like yourself,"},{"startTime":531.405,"endTime":533.908,"body":"with some people, it starts, you know,"},{"startTime":531.405,"endTime":533.908,"body":"when they're kid, they know really early."},{"startTime":533.908,"endTime":537.036,"body":"But I feel like where you find out"},{"startTime":533.908,"endTime":537.036,"body":"how things are going to be"},{"startTime":537.036,"endTime":540.831,"body":"is in like junior high and that"},{"startTime":537.036,"endTime":540.831,"body":"and then then you can decide like,"},{"startTime":540.831,"endTime":543.918,"body":"oh, yeah,"},{"startTime":540.831,"endTime":543.918,"body":"I think because I'm invited in to click,"},{"startTime":543.918,"endTime":548.256,"body":"because I'm not invited into any click"},{"startTime":543.918,"endTime":548.256,"body":"and I'm unpopular, I'll probably do this"},{"startTime":548.297,"endTime":551.926,"body":"yeah, it's, it's basically just an"},{"startTime":548.297,"endTime":551.926,"body":"uninspired boilerplate bullshit question."},{"startTime":552.051,"endTime":558.266,"body":"Fuck you, fuck you."},{"startTime":558.349,"endTime":567.191,"body":"Ha ha ha ha."},{"startTime":567.275,"endTime":576.033,"body":"Hmm. You know, and like."},{"startTime":576.117,"endTime":579.287,"body":"I'm not going to make it."},{"startTime":579.37,"endTime":602.226,"body":"Mhm. Mhm."},{"startTime":602.31,"endTime":613.237,"body":"No. Mhm."},{"startTime":613.321,"endTime":613.863,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":613.863,"endTime":614.78,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":614.78,"endTime":620.411,"body":"But Dave, I'm constantly quoting you you"},{"startTime":614.78,"endTime":620.411,"body":"know, lines from minor accomplishments."},{"startTime":620.536,"endTime":623.539,"body":"And I'm always talking about"},{"startTime":620.536,"endTime":623.539,"body":"how much I miss you because of course"},{"startTime":623.664,"endTime":626.208,"body":"you're on the East coast"},{"startTime":623.664,"endTime":626.208,"body":"and you're brilliant,"},{"startTime":626.208,"endTime":627.835,"body":"but one of the things I always quote was"},{"startTime":627.835,"endTime":630.129,"body":"when do you remember"},{"startTime":627.835,"endTime":630.129,"body":"when were at the rustic"},{"startTime":630.129,"endTime":634.3,"body":"and a mutual friend of ours was going on"},{"startTime":630.129,"endTime":634.3,"body":"about the latest like Playboy bunny."},{"startTime":634.3,"endTime":635.551,"body":"He was with and whatever."},{"startTime":635.551,"endTime":638.512,"body":"And I remember"},{"startTime":635.551,"endTime":638.512,"body":"we were all like a few beers in"},{"startTime":638.512,"endTime":643.267,"body":"and then you just turned to him and said,"},{"startTime":638.512,"endTime":643.267,"body":"Your hole is full of stories."},{"startTime":643.351,"endTime":651.192,"body":"Ha ha ha ha ha."},{"startTime":651.275,"endTime":657.281,"body":"Uh huh."},{"startTime":657.365,"endTime":659.909,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":659.909,"endTime":663.829,"body":"And that and because of you,"},{"startTime":659.909,"endTime":663.829,"body":"I made all these t shirts"},{"startTime":663.829,"endTime":665.164,"body":"because he was saying,"},{"startTime":665.164,"endTime":668.376,"body":"Oh, this girl's the one, there's always"},{"startTime":665.164,"endTime":668.376,"body":"someone who was too young also."},{"startTime":668.376,"endTime":671.379,"body":"And. But. No, no, she,"},{"startTime":668.376,"endTime":671.379,"body":"she she's smart, too."},{"startTime":671.379,"endTime":673.923,"body":"She has a, you know, a 3.0"},{"startTime":671.379,"endTime":673.923,"body":"and but in college where."},{"startTime":673.923,"endTime":680.096,"body":"And then he and then you said,"},{"startTime":673.923,"endTime":680.096,"body":"oh, is this anonymous what number. 256."},{"startTime":680.179,"endTime":683.391,"body":"So I made all these t shirts"},{"startTime":680.179,"endTime":683.391,"body":"anonymous twat number"},{"startTime":683.391,"endTime":695.736,"body":"256, which I still wear."},{"startTime":695.82,"endTime":699.74,"body":"How did you two meet?"},{"startTime":699.782,"endTime":710.918,"body":"I, I Please do."},{"startTime":711.001,"endTime":742.491,"body":"Mm. Uh, nice."},{"startTime":742.575,"endTime":763.387,"body":"Uh huh."},{"startTime":763.429,"endTime":777.693,"body":"Oh, Uh uh."},{"startTime":777.777,"endTime":779.945,"body":"Dave, you started with such a low bar."},{"startTime":779.945,"endTime":780.738,"body":"I can't believe it."},{"startTime":780.738,"endTime":786.494,"body":"But go on to me to meet me."},{"startTime":786.577,"endTime":788.12,"body":"I actually."},{"startTime":788.12,"endTime":789.205,"body":"I met her in a bar."},{"startTime":789.205,"endTime":789.914,"body":"Oh, yeah?"},{"startTime":789.914,"endTime":792.917,"body":"Yeah, a low bar."},{"startTime":793.042,"endTime":796.003,"body":"That's. Oh, my God. Rustic."},{"startTime":796.003,"endTime":840.714,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":840.798,"endTime":885.301,"body":"Oh, Recipes. Oh."},{"startTime":885.384,"endTime":919.418,"body":"Mm hmm. Wow."},{"startTime":919.501,"endTime":931.347,"body":"I do."},{"startTime":931.43,"endTime":947.821,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":947.863,"endTime":949.114,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":949.114,"endTime":961.961,"body":"Yeah, It was really funny."},{"startTime":962.044,"endTime":963.295,"body":"Dang."},{"startTime":963.295,"endTime":965.297,"body":"Do you remember any of that, Yes, I."},{"startTime":965.297,"endTime":969.301,"body":"Do. And I just remember thinking, like,"},{"startTime":965.297,"endTime":969.301,"body":"how funny you were and smart."},{"startTime":969.385,"endTime":971.428,"body":"I felt like we met on the street out here."},{"startTime":971.428,"endTime":973.138,"body":"wood Coffee?"},{"startTime":973.138,"endTime":979.228,"body":"No, we were both in rehab,"},{"startTime":973.138,"endTime":979.228,"body":"and I couldn't afford it, and I."},{"startTime":979.311,"endTime":986.819,"body":"You got to dry out"},{"startTime":979.311,"endTime":986.819,"body":"and I didn't know we were both. We,"},{"startTime":986.902,"endTime":989.113,"body":"Know, we were at the at the"},{"startTime":989.113,"endTime":997.037,"body":"coffee shop in Beachwood,"},{"startTime":989.113,"endTime":997.037,"body":"I think when we met."},{"startTime":997.121,"endTime":998.372,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":998.372,"endTime":999.915,"body":"Spoon. I didn't know the."},{"startTime":999.915,"endTime":1001.25,"body":"I didn't know that you could."},{"startTime":1001.25,"endTime":1006.505,"body":"You could break the brick"},{"startTime":1001.25,"endTime":1006.505,"body":"before you inserted it."},{"startTime":1006.588,"endTime":1012.636,"body":"I mean while my asshole lapsed or."},{"startTime":1012.761,"endTime":1015.139,"body":"And whatever, so."},{"startTime":1015.139,"endTime":1015.848,"body":"No, no."},{"startTime":1015.848,"endTime":1017.766,"body":"But then,"},{"startTime":1017.766,"endTime":1018.642,"body":"yeah, that's what I meant."},{"startTime":1018.642,"endTime":1019.268,"body":"Prolapsed."},{"startTime":1019.268,"endTime":1022.271,"body":"I said lapsed."},{"startTime":1022.479,"endTime":1024.189,"body":"But anyway,"},{"startTime":1024.189,"endTime":1025.816,"body":"yes, I do remember. And I."},{"startTime":1025.816,"endTime":1028.694,"body":"But the thing was,"},{"startTime":1025.816,"endTime":1028.694,"body":"I remember thinking, here's somebody,"},{"startTime":1028.694,"endTime":1032.698,"body":"I mean, I didn't like writing with people"},{"startTime":1028.694,"endTime":1032.698,"body":"I think hadn't had a good experience"},{"startTime":1032.698,"endTime":1035.701,"body":"with it, that's for sure. Because I was on"},{"startTime":1032.698,"endTime":1035.701,"body":"SNL and that was miserable."},{"startTime":1035.701,"endTime":1039.079,"body":"So then I thought,"},{"startTime":1035.701,"endTime":1039.079,"body":"Oh, I hope I can write with this guy."},{"startTime":1039.079,"endTime":1042.082,"body":"And then when I found out"},{"startTime":1039.079,"endTime":1042.082,"body":"how funny you are that this is a dream,"},{"startTime":1042.082,"endTime":1045.753,"body":"if there's somebody that,"},{"startTime":1042.082,"endTime":1045.753,"body":"have a great time writing with"},{"startTime":1045.836,"endTime":1047.796,"body":"and this is going"},{"startTime":1045.836,"endTime":1047.796,"body":"to be really sentimental."},{"startTime":1047.796,"endTime":1050.674,"body":"But I still think about"},{"startTime":1047.796,"endTime":1050.674,"body":"when we were writing"},{"startTime":1050.674,"endTime":1053.719,"body":"just in here at the house like that,"},{"startTime":1050.674,"endTime":1053.719,"body":"we would look at each other"},{"startTime":1053.719,"endTime":1056.722,"body":"crying, laughing,"},{"startTime":1053.719,"endTime":1056.722,"body":"and it's just like that rarely happens."},{"startTime":1056.764,"endTime":1066.982,"body":"I never,"},{"startTime":1056.764,"endTime":1066.982,"body":"like, laugh that hard, except with you."},{"startTime":1067.066,"endTime":1068.692,"body":"Yeah, I think we're in this."},{"startTime":1068.692,"endTime":1069.777,"body":"We're in the same place."},{"startTime":1069.777,"endTime":1073.655,"body":"I'm just taking the long way around."},{"startTime":1073.739,"endTime":1074.782,"body":"I did an extra."},{"startTime":1074.782,"endTime":1079.411,"body":"I did an extra three blocks,"},{"startTime":1074.782,"endTime":1079.411,"body":"But here we are"},{"startTime":1079.495,"endTime":1090.631,"body":"because I got lost."},{"startTime":1090.714,"endTime":1091.548,"body":"way out."},{"startTime":1091.548,"endTime":1093.842,"body":"actually in commemoration of it all."},{"startTime":1093.842,"endTime":1107.564,"body":"We should be doing whippets right now"},{"startTime":1093.842,"endTime":1107.564,"body":"from whipped cream cans. Oh."},{"startTime":1107.648,"endTime":1110.943,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":1111.026,"endTime":1150.649,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":1150.732,"endTime":1152.442,"body":"Everyone's got."},{"startTime":1152.442,"endTime":1155.445,"body":"Come on, ladies."},{"startTime":1155.571,"endTime":1156.53,"body":"Go ahead."},{"startTime":1156.53,"endTime":1157.531,"body":"I'm a dartboard."},{"startTime":1157.531,"endTime":1162.202,"body":"Just come at me."},{"startTime":1162.286,"endTime":1173.463,"body":"Uh, and by the way,"},{"startTime":1173.547,"endTime":1175.632,"body":"and by the way, people listening."},{"startTime":1175.632,"endTime":1177.718,"body":"Talking"},{"startTime":1175.632,"endTime":1177.718,"body":"about how you're allergic to pussy."},{"startTime":1177.718,"endTime":1180.095,"body":"Dave Punch looks like a young Paul Newman."},{"startTime":1180.095,"endTime":1181.638,"body":"He has beautiful blue eyes. He's got."},{"startTime":1181.638,"endTime":1184.558,"body":"He's a blond. You like Paul Newman?"},{"startTime":1184.558,"endTime":1186.768,"body":"He and my father."},{"startTime":1186.768,"endTime":1189.146,"body":"But my father was not good looking."},{"startTime":1186.768,"endTime":1189.146,"body":"But yeah, Yeah."},{"startTime":1189.146,"endTime":1189.646,"body":"it's."},{"startTime":1189.646,"endTime":1192.399,"body":"It's insane that you're not a. Yeah,"},{"startTime":1189.646,"endTime":1192.399,"body":"my mom is really pretty."},{"startTime":1192.399,"endTime":1195.235,"body":"So I think that it doesn't fit here"},{"startTime":1192.399,"endTime":1195.235,"body":"is that you"},{"startTime":1195.235,"endTime":1198.238,"body":"didn't get laid"},{"startTime":1195.235,"endTime":1198.238,"body":"because you're incredibly handsome."},{"startTime":1198.405,"endTime":1201.033,"body":"It's because you were shy,"},{"startTime":1201.116,"endTime":1203.452,"body":"right?"},{"startTime":1203.452,"endTime":1207.748,"body":"Really?"},{"startTime":1207.831,"endTime":1217.507,"body":"You don't use that at a party"},{"startTime":1217.591,"endTime":1222.012,"body":"because."},{"startTime":1222.095,"endTime":1233.232,"body":"right."},{"startTime":1233.315,"endTime":1233.774,"body":"Yeah,"},{"startTime":1233.774,"endTime":1237.319,"body":"I was trying to lose my virginity"},{"startTime":1233.774,"endTime":1237.319,"body":"in high school."},{"startTime":1237.402,"endTime":1241.782,"body":"thought it would just, like, fall out"},{"startTime":1237.402,"endTime":1241.782,"body":"and then I would find it again."},{"startTime":1241.865,"endTime":1243.742,"body":"Know I was trying to."},{"startTime":1243.742,"endTime":1247.371,"body":"I know."},{"startTime":1247.454,"endTime":1248.205,"body":"How do you lose it?"},{"startTime":1248.205,"endTime":1252.876,"body":"I've lost everything else but that"},{"startTime":1252.96,"endTime":1255.545,"body":"that seems to be attached to me somehow."},{"startTime":1255.545,"endTime":1257.047,"body":"So, no, I."},{"startTime":1257.047,"endTime":1261.134,"body":"I remember going to the prom"},{"startTime":1257.047,"endTime":1261.134,"body":"with my friend's younger brother,"},{"startTime":1261.176,"endTime":1264.263,"body":"and I had to get him to go with me"},{"startTime":1261.176,"endTime":1264.263,"body":"by because he was underage."},{"startTime":1264.263,"endTime":1267.557,"body":"I had my mom buy me a case of Blatz"},{"startTime":1264.263,"endTime":1267.557,"body":"to give them."},{"startTime":1267.641,"endTime":1270.686,"body":"And then I said something"},{"startTime":1267.641,"endTime":1270.686,"body":"like when we were in the car alone,"},{"startTime":1270.686,"endTime":1274.481,"body":"when everybody else was out drinking,"},{"startTime":1270.686,"endTime":1274.481,"body":"just just outside the car,"},{"startTime":1274.564,"endTime":1276.984,"body":"I said, like,"},{"startTime":1274.564,"endTime":1276.984,"body":"hey, it it doesn't have to be special."},{"startTime":1276.984,"endTime":1279.361,"body":"Let's let's take my virginity."},{"startTime":1279.361,"endTime":1281.905,"body":"And he he didn't want to."},{"startTime":1281.989,"endTime":1285.367,"body":"And then I was at a bar"},{"startTime":1285.45,"endTime":1290.414,"body":"later, like 18, like my summer"},{"startTime":1285.45,"endTime":1290.414,"body":"of my 18th birthday or something."},{"startTime":1290.497,"endTime":1294.876,"body":"And I met this guy from high school's"},{"startTime":1290.497,"endTime":1294.876,"body":"cousin who was Canadian."},{"startTime":1294.96,"endTime":1297.296,"body":"And I thought, Oh, yeah, exactly."},{"startTime":1297.296,"endTime":1298.922,"body":"I thought, ooh, he knows how to do it."},{"startTime":1298.922,"endTime":1300.966,"body":"He's French, but he was French Canadian."},{"startTime":1300.966,"endTime":1302.009,"body":"like Pepe Le Pew."},{"startTime":1302.009,"endTime":1305.637,"body":"He knows how to do."},{"startTime":1305.721,"endTime":1307.097,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1307.097,"endTime":1307.723,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1307.723,"endTime":1312.936,"body":"And you know, he always, Yeah he was"},{"startTime":1307.723,"endTime":1312.936,"body":"and I thought God if Pepe le you can't"},{"startTime":1313.145,"endTime":1316.606,"body":"kit overtake me when I'm giving it up."},{"startTime":1316.69,"endTime":1318.233,"body":"No, I don't know."},{"startTime":1316.69,"endTime":1318.233,"body":"I just thought he's French."},{"startTime":1318.233,"endTime":1319.192,"body":"That's sexy anyway."},{"startTime":1319.192,"endTime":1322.029,"body":"And he was sexy"},{"startTime":1322.029,"endTime":1323.613,"body":"and his name was Andre."},{"startTime":1323.613,"endTime":1326.783,"body":"And so anyway, in, my first year"},{"startTime":1326.783,"endTime":1329.953,"body":"I went to Fredonia College,"},{"startTime":1326.783,"endTime":1329.953,"body":"and it was parents weekend."},{"startTime":1329.953,"endTime":1331.038,"body":"I didn't tell my mother."},{"startTime":1331.038,"endTime":1340.505,"body":"And he came in and took my virginity"},{"startTime":1331.038,"endTime":1340.505,"body":"Wait, can I ask you a"},{"startTime":1340.589,"endTime":1341.923,"body":"yeah, it was a monkey."},{"startTime":1341.923,"endTime":1353.143,"body":"I was trying to get in my front"},{"startTime":1353.226,"endTime":1353.977,"body":"ear. So sweet."},{"startTime":1353.977,"endTime":1356.021,"body":"Dave. No,"},{"startTime":1356.021,"endTime":1356.73,"body":"no. Yeah."},{"startTime":1356.73,"endTime":1359.983,"body":"I really thought, like, you know,"},{"startTime":1356.73,"endTime":1359.983,"body":"I was just really curious."},{"startTime":1359.983,"endTime":1362.527,"body":"Everybody I know knew had already had sex."},{"startTime":1362.527,"endTime":1366.948,"body":"My best friend met, you know,"},{"startTime":1362.527,"endTime":1366.948,"body":"she had sex at, like, 16."},{"startTime":1366.948,"endTime":1369.076,"body":"Everybody had lost their virginity"},{"startTime":1366.948,"endTime":1369.076,"body":"except me."},{"startTime":1369.076,"endTime":1371.62,"body":"My mom lost hers over and over."},{"startTime":1371.62,"endTime":1374.039,"body":"And I just wanted"},{"startTime":1374.039,"endTime":1377.376,"body":"like, where I grew up"},{"startTime":1374.039,"endTime":1377.376,"body":"now in the same house."},{"startTime":1377.459,"endTime":1379.961,"body":"And I just was like, oh, my God, I can't."},{"startTime":1379.961,"endTime":1381.713,"body":"I just was really curious."},{"startTime":1381.713,"endTime":1384.674,"body":"Dave, how'd you lose your virginity?"},{"startTime":1384.674,"endTime":1390.263,"body":"I have you. In."},{"startTime":1390.347,"endTime":1397.854,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1397.938,"endTime":1399.689,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1399.689,"endTime":1410.534,"body":"Well, how did it come about?"},{"startTime":1410.617,"endTime":1423.338,"body":"Uh. Wow."},{"startTime":1423.422,"endTime":1423.713,"body":"That."},{"startTime":1423.713,"endTime":1436.893,"body":"That's closed for big girls, right? No,"},{"startTime":1436.977,"endTime":1452.117,"body":"I feel like it's going to happen"},{"startTime":1436.977,"endTime":1452.117,"body":"in the tub of Violets gone."},{"startTime":1452.2,"endTime":1454.286,"body":"Oh. My."},{"startTime":1454.286,"endTime":1456.872,"body":"Hey, but. But you came."},{"startTime":1456.872,"endTime":1460.625,"body":"And that's the most important thing."},{"startTime":1460.709,"endTime":1468.842,"body":"I, Who's your favorite guest star"},{"startTime":1460.709,"endTime":1468.842,"body":"on Jackie Wilma."},{"startTime":1468.842,"endTime":1470.469,"body":"The mitochondria were many."},{"startTime":1470.469,"endTime":1471.803,"body":"there's no way to say favorite."},{"startTime":1471.803,"endTime":1475.015,"body":"How about can we just brag about"},{"startTime":1471.803,"endTime":1475.015,"body":"first of all Mary"},{"startTime":1475.015,"endTime":1478.018,"body":"Kay Place played my mother"},{"startTime":1475.015,"endTime":1478.018,"body":"and she was amazing."},{"startTime":1478.018,"endTime":1480.52,"body":"And a movie called Diane."},{"startTime":1480.52,"endTime":1482.355,"body":"Which is incredible."},{"startTime":1482.355,"endTime":1483.023,"body":"Have you seen that?"},{"startTime":1483.023,"endTime":1485.484,"body":"Dave Oh, it's so incredible."},{"startTime":1483.023,"endTime":1485.484,"body":"We went to see it."},{"startTime":1485.484,"endTime":1486.568,"body":"We saw a premiere."},{"startTime":1486.568,"endTime":1490.906,"body":"Um, it's about this woman who kind of"},{"startTime":1486.568,"endTime":1490.906,"body":"takes care of everyone and her life."},{"startTime":1490.906,"endTime":1493.575,"body":"But we dated, you know, upstate New York."},{"startTime":1493.575,"endTime":1495.619,"body":"Yeah, I'll let. Yeah."},{"startTime":1495.619,"endTime":1506.63,"body":"And we can't say what happens."},{"startTime":1506.713,"endTime":1507.756,"body":"Oh, I."},{"startTime":1507.756,"endTime":1517.974,"body":"Know."},{"startTime":1518.016,"endTime":1523.939,"body":"Hmm. Careful."},{"startTime":1524.022,"endTime":1533.74,"body":"I don't know what."},{"startTime":1533.823,"endTime":1555.845,"body":"Oh, amazing. Hmm."},{"startTime":1555.929,"endTime":1566.106,"body":"Yeah, he was brilliant."},{"startTime":1566.189,"endTime":1567.107,"body":"I was thinking"},{"startTime":1567.107,"endTime":1570.652,"body":"Orson Bean, who was incredible"},{"startTime":1567.107,"endTime":1570.652,"body":"and a great dancer."},{"startTime":1570.902,"endTime":1576.324,"body":"And also, I think because it was somebody"},{"startTime":1570.902,"endTime":1576.324,"body":"I always wanted to meet."},{"startTime":1576.324,"endTime":1578.952,"body":"Ray Wise might be."},{"startTime":1579.035,"endTime":1580.203,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1580.203,"endTime":1581.454,"body":"Brilliant."},{"startTime":1581.454,"endTime":1583.54,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1583.54,"endTime":1585.333,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":1585.333,"endTime":1587.335,"body":"Yeah. Okay."},{"startTime":1587.335,"endTime":1625.123,"body":"Yeah. And."},{"startTime":1625.206,"endTime":1635.258,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1635.342,"endTime":1681.262,"body":"Whoops."},{"startTime":1681.346,"endTime":1695.193,"body":"you up. Hmm."},{"startTime":1695.276,"endTime":1720.343,"body":"Oh, no."},{"startTime":1720.427,"endTime":1723.012,"body":"And I always have to know."},{"startTime":1723.012,"endTime":1724.347,"body":"Oh, I guess. Lena, I heard."},{"startTime":1724.347,"endTime":1724.556,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1724.556,"endTime":1728.56,"body":"That Lena Dunham, like the show?"},{"startTime":1728.643,"endTime":1733.273,"body":"Oh, yeah, Maybe he did out."},{"startTime":1733.356,"endTime":1734.607,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1734.607,"endTime":1735.275,"body":"I don't know."},{"startTime":1735.275,"endTime":1740.697,"body":"I mean, maybe a while ago, but I always"},{"startTime":1735.275,"endTime":1740.697,"body":"feel like with me, I'll mention it anyway."},{"startTime":1740.697,"endTime":1745.201,"body":"Like, if you asked me my name, I'll say"},{"startTime":1740.697,"endTime":1745.201,"body":"I've had a brain aneurysm, and I'll say."},{"startTime":1745.201,"endTime":1749.08,"body":"And also, I worked on this show called The"},{"startTime":1745.201,"endTime":1749.08,"body":"Minor Accomplishments of Jackie Woodman."},{"startTime":1749.08,"endTime":1759.048,"body":"It's on Amazon."},{"startTime":1759.132,"endTime":1759.924,"body":"I don't know."},{"startTime":1759.924,"endTime":1764.554,"body":"I think I at my high point,"},{"startTime":1759.924,"endTime":1764.554,"body":"I'm going to say in the mid aughts."},{"startTime":1764.721,"endTime":1766.181,"body":"Maybe. That was the watermark."},{"startTime":1766.181,"endTime":1766.431,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1766.431,"endTime":1770.059,"body":"Yeah I, I used to get, you"},{"startTime":1766.431,"endTime":1770.059,"body":"know, a little bit before that I suppose."},{"startTime":1770.059,"endTime":1774.439,"body":"I got letters from prisoners"},{"startTime":1770.059,"endTime":1774.439,"body":"and that they all ended with"},{"startTime":1774.439,"endTime":1777.192,"body":"I'll be out"},{"startTime":1774.439,"endTime":1777.192,"body":"and then they'd say when they'll be out"},{"startTime":1777.192,"endTime":1778.943,"body":"like I was in for a crime"},{"startTime":1777.192,"endTime":1778.943,"body":"he didn't commit."},{"startTime":1778.943,"endTime":1784.324,"body":"I'll be out maybe in June or. Okay."},{"startTime":1784.407,"endTime":1786.034,"body":"But no, but you know, I took that"},{"startTime":1786.034,"endTime":1790.747,"body":"honestly, I took that as a compliment"},{"startTime":1786.034,"endTime":1790.747,"body":"because, you know, people people have to"},{"startTime":1790.83,"endTime":1793.792,"body":"I think you have to kind of agree"},{"startTime":1790.83,"endTime":1793.792,"body":"on what you're going to watch"},{"startTime":1793.792,"endTime":1795.794,"body":"who if you're Incarcerated."},{"startTime":1795.794,"endTime":1798.004,"body":"Yeah. And the stabbings that took place."},{"startTime":1798.004,"endTime":1801.466,"body":"Well, you know, I think it was probably me"},{"startTime":1798.004,"endTime":1801.466,"body":"or Sally Jessy Raphael."},{"startTime":1801.716,"endTime":1804.552,"body":"And they said, well,"},{"startTime":1801.716,"endTime":1804.552,"body":"maybe we'll at least laugh"},{"startTime":1804.552,"endTime":1808.848,"body":"a little bit more with Laura."},{"startTime":1808.89,"endTime":1814.604,"body":"Yeah. Mm."},{"startTime":1814.687,"endTime":1815.522,"body":"That's."},{"startTime":1815.522,"endTime":1819.275,"body":"Oh, you know, Jean Tripplehorn"},{"startTime":1815.522,"endTime":1819.275,"body":"gave me a huge compliment."},{"startTime":1819.359,"endTime":1820.985,"body":"She just said I love your show."},{"startTime":1820.985,"endTime":1823.863,"body":"I feel like it's"},{"startTime":1820.985,"endTime":1823.863,"body":"one of the few shows that's made me laugh."},{"startTime":1823.863,"endTime":1826.825,"body":"And I hope there are more episodes"},{"startTime":1823.863,"endTime":1826.825,"body":"because I said"},{"startTime":1826.825,"endTime":1828.91,"body":"we'd just finished the second season,"},{"startTime":1826.825,"endTime":1828.91,"body":"I think."},{"startTime":1828.91,"endTime":1831.496,"body":"And I said, Well,"},{"startTime":1828.91,"endTime":1831.496,"body":"I don't think there will be."},{"startTime":1831.496,"endTime":1836.292,"body":"But she was really, really I was stunned"},{"startTime":1831.496,"endTime":1836.292,"body":"because that that was my moment."},{"startTime":1836.292,"endTime":1840.255,"body":"That was kind of like, I guess, my Paul"},{"startTime":1836.292,"endTime":1840.255,"body":"Dooley moment when Mary Kay"},{"startTime":1840.296,"endTime":1844.05,"body":"was introducing us and she said, Oh,"},{"startTime":1840.296,"endTime":1844.05,"body":"I know you, I love your show."},{"startTime":1844.133,"endTime":1860.275,"body":"That was a minor comedy,"},{"startTime":1860.358,"endTime":1865.196,"body":"Fernwood Tonight, Fernwood Tonight and"},{"startTime":1865.28,"endTime":1867.198,"body":"yeah, yeah,"},{"startTime":1865.28,"endTime":1867.198,"body":"I think they were both at the same."},{"startTime":1867.198,"endTime":1870.91,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":1870.994,"endTime":1877.083,"body":"but yeah."},{"startTime":1877.166,"endTime":1879.544,"body":"Oh, well, you know what, Dave?"},{"startTime":1879.544,"endTime":1880.253,"body":"No, it was."},{"startTime":1880.253,"endTime":1884.257,"body":"Well, first of all,"},{"startTime":1880.253,"endTime":1884.257,"body":"and I was also a huge fan of Big Love."},{"startTime":1884.34,"endTime":1889.429,"body":"And so I thought in my mind"},{"startTime":1884.34,"endTime":1889.429,"body":"we both dropped everything off at her."},{"startTime":1889.429,"endTime":1903.318,"body":"We found her address and dropped it off."},{"startTime":1903.401,"endTime":1904.193,"body":"Oh, my God."},{"startTime":1904.193,"endTime":1913.745,"body":"What's the."},{"startTime":1913.828,"endTime":1914.746,"body":"Phone number?"},{"startTime":1914.746,"endTime":1920.835,"body":"So that"},{"startTime":1920.919,"endTime":1923.087,"body":"I'm shocked by that, that we."},{"startTime":1923.087,"endTime":1925.131,"body":"That we didn't say,"},{"startTime":1923.087,"endTime":1925.131,"body":"Will you please do this?"},{"startTime":1925.131,"endTime":1929.886,"body":"And who we were"},{"startTime":1929.969,"endTime":1931.304,"body":"good and mighty."},{"startTime":1931.304,"endTime":1933.723,"body":"I mean, the thing is, is like,"},{"startTime":1931.304,"endTime":1933.723,"body":"I feel like everybody knows"},{"startTime":1933.723,"endTime":1935.224,"body":"when you get a pig's heart in the mail."},{"startTime":1935.224,"endTime":1938.853,"body":"Like care, for Christ's sake."},{"startTime":1938.937,"endTime":1941.272,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1941.272,"endTime":1944.776,"body":"Good God almighty."},{"startTime":1944.859,"endTime":1946.819,"body":"Yeah. What was yours?"},{"startTime":1946.819,"endTime":1948.988,"body":"Writing, schedule or routine?"},{"startTime":1948.988,"endTime":1952.533,"body":"What would you do to write, drink?"},{"startTime":1952.575,"endTime":1959.666,"body":"Ha ha. Ha."},{"startTime":1959.749,"endTime":1981.062,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1981.145,"endTime":1984.065,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":1984.065,"endTime":1989.696,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":1989.779,"endTime":2012.218,"body":"Mm. Yeah."},{"startTime":2012.301,"endTime":2018.391,"body":"I think it's."},{"startTime":2018.433,"endTime":2039.454,"body":"Yeah. Mm."},{"startTime":2039.537,"endTime":2060.058,"body":"Oh, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":2060.141,"endTime":2079.535,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2079.619,"endTime":2082.955,"body":"Well."},{"startTime":2083.039,"endTime":2083.956,"body":"Oh, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":2083.956,"endTime":2088.127,"body":"it was, it was a huge thing that we wrote"},{"startTime":2083.956,"endTime":2088.127,"body":"everything ourselves."},{"startTime":2088.127,"endTime":2091.005,"body":"We wrote 16 episodes, just the two of us."},{"startTime":2091.005,"endTime":2094.008,"body":"We got great reviews,"},{"startTime":2091.005,"endTime":2094.008,"body":"especially on the writing."},{"startTime":2094.05,"endTime":2099.138,"body":"And then IFC got a new programing person"},{"startTime":2094.05,"endTime":2099.138,"body":"who decided it"},{"startTime":2099.138,"endTime":2103.309,"body":"wasn't worth going on, even though we got"},{"startTime":2099.138,"endTime":2103.309,"body":"great reviews and blah, blah, blah, blah."},{"startTime":2103.309,"endTime":2110.858,"body":"Right?"},{"startTime":2110.942,"endTime":2117.281,"body":"And I remember."},{"startTime":2117.365,"endTime":2118.616,"body":"we but we were also told"},{"startTime":2118.616,"endTime":2122.703,"body":"that the, said"},{"startTime":2118.616,"endTime":2122.703,"body":"that they have spent all their money on"},{"startTime":2122.703,"endTime":2126.415,"body":"Chris Clayton's Bollywood show,"},{"startTime":2122.703,"endTime":2126.415,"body":"and that's why they had no money for us."},{"startTime":2126.624,"endTime":2129.627,"body":"And they never had no money for us"},{"startTime":2126.624,"endTime":2129.627,"body":"in the beginning because we were doing it"},{"startTime":2129.627,"endTime":2147.061,"body":"for 250,000 an episode and everybody"},{"startTime":2129.627,"endTime":2147.061,"body":"was wearing my clothes right?"},{"startTime":2147.145,"endTime":2156.529,"body":"Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":2156.612,"endTime":2166.205,"body":"I would say that,"},{"startTime":2166.289,"endTime":2169.292,"body":"yeah."},{"startTime":2169.292,"endTime":2169.917,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2169.917,"endTime":2170.376,"body":"It was."},{"startTime":2170.376,"endTime":2171.46,"body":"It was Big star."},{"startTime":2171.46,"endTime":2183.764,"body":"Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":2183.848,"endTime":2185.308,"body":"And to me."},{"startTime":2185.308,"endTime":2187.977,"body":"I'll say this, and it's not just because"},{"startTime":2185.308,"endTime":2187.977,"body":"I'm fucking both of you"},{"startTime":2187.977,"endTime":2191.063,"body":"all, but it was when it was out."},{"startTime":2191.063,"endTime":2191.606,"body":"I just."},{"startTime":2191.606,"endTime":2195.526,"body":"I couldn't fucking believe"},{"startTime":2191.606,"endTime":2195.526,"body":"how good it was, how funny what it had."},{"startTime":2195.526,"endTime":2197.528,"body":"Laughs like 30 Rock."},{"startTime":2197.528,"endTime":2199.322,"body":"Yeah. Every few seconds."},{"startTime":2199.322,"endTime":2202.491,"body":"And then the weirdness of it,"},{"startTime":2199.322,"endTime":2202.491,"body":"I think, is really what drew me in."},{"startTime":2202.658,"endTime":2204.994,"body":"Just like the strangeness of it."},{"startTime":2202.658,"endTime":2204.994,"body":"It was so perfect."},{"startTime":2204.994,"endTime":2208.623,"body":"And then, yeah, once the show was"},{"startTime":2204.994,"endTime":2208.623,"body":"canceled, IFC had a couple of other shows"},{"startTime":2208.831,"endTime":2210.833,"body":"that were fucking dog shit,"},{"startTime":2210.833,"endTime":2213.628,"body":"and I was like, Why don't they"},{"startTime":2210.833,"endTime":2213.628,"body":"just bring back my accomplishment?"},{"startTime":2213.628,"endTime":2216.214,"body":"I think the peyote episode"},{"startTime":2213.628,"endTime":2216.214,"body":"where you played trumpet"},{"startTime":2216.214,"endTime":2218.424,"body":"was one of my favorite things."},{"startTime":2218.424,"endTime":2221.26,"body":"In face Baseball card license."},{"startTime":2221.26,"endTime":2224.513,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":2224.597,"endTime":2237.151,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":2237.235,"endTime":2256.337,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":2256.42,"endTime":2258.339,"body":"I never get notice, Dave."},{"startTime":2258.339,"endTime":2260.258,"body":"In fact, I have it."},{"startTime":2260.258,"endTime":2264.637,"body":"All right,"},{"startTime":2264.72,"endTime":2264.929,"body":"All right."},{"startTime":2264.929,"endTime":2273.145,"body":"I'm sorry."},{"startTime":2273.229,"endTime":2279.068,"body":"Mm. I know, I know."},{"startTime":2279.277,"endTime":2280.903,"body":"But you chose not to."},{"startTime":2280.903,"endTime":2285.324,"body":"You decided to go off and write like"},{"startTime":2280.903,"endTime":2285.324,"body":"a real artist in the woods of Maine."},{"startTime":2285.408,"endTime":2286.158,"body":"Massachusetts."},{"startTime":2286.158,"endTime":2286.659,"body":"I know."},{"startTime":2286.659,"endTime":2291.289,"body":"I like to say Maine, though,"},{"startTime":2286.659,"endTime":2291.289,"body":"because it makes me think"},{"startTime":2291.33,"endTime":2293.416,"body":"she. I remember"},{"startTime":2293.416,"endTime":2294.834,"body":"there are times"},{"startTime":2293.416,"endTime":2294.834,"body":"where people recognize her,"},{"startTime":2294.834,"endTime":2298.838,"body":"but I remember her telling me"},{"startTime":2294.834,"endTime":2298.838,"body":"that when Mulholland Drive came out, Asian"},{"startTime":2298.838,"endTime":2301.841,"body":"people used to think that she was"},{"startTime":2298.838,"endTime":2301.841,"body":"Laura Herring."},{"startTime":2301.841,"endTime":2304.76,"body":"And I remember seeing the trailer"},{"startTime":2301.841,"endTime":2304.76,"body":"for Ball and Drive and thinking"},{"startTime":2304.76,"endTime":2307.93,"body":"it was Laura,"},{"startTime":2304.76,"endTime":2307.93,"body":"And we were at, used for Bobcats movies."},{"startTime":2307.93,"endTime":2311.809,"body":"Oh, it was the documentary about,"},{"startTime":2307.93,"endTime":2311.809,"body":"It was, yeah."},{"startTime":2311.892,"endTime":2312.351,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2312.351,"endTime":2316.814,"body":"And we're walking out in this, middle age"},{"startTime":2312.351,"endTime":2316.814,"body":"Asian man comes up, he's like, Oh, it's"},{"startTime":2316.814,"endTime":2317.732,"body":"so great to see you."},{"startTime":2317.732,"endTime":2319.817,"body":"Like,"},{"startTime":2317.732,"endTime":2319.817,"body":"you know, I'm a huge fan, and you're."},{"startTime":2319.817,"endTime":2321.36,"body":"Like, Oh, thank you so much."},{"startTime":2321.36,"endTime":2322.903,"body":"And he was like, Yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":2322.903,"endTime":2325.281,"body":"It's just a natural."},{"startTime":2322.903,"endTime":2325.281,"body":"Look at this. It's it's so amazing."},{"startTime":2325.281,"endTime":2327.45,"body":"And he thought you were hearing us"},{"startTime":2325.281,"endTime":2327.45,"body":"like, only shit."},{"startTime":2327.45,"endTime":2330.536,"body":"you know, it's funny, I go"},{"startTime":2330.619,"endTime":2333.039,"body":"Oh. Oh, my God."},{"startTime":2333.039,"endTime":2335.624,"body":"That was conspiracy theorists."},{"startTime":2335.624,"endTime":2338.044,"body":"He never died. Oh, God."},{"startTime":2338.044,"endTime":2342.131,"body":"Oh, no."},{"startTime":2342.214,"endTime":2343.466,"body":"Yeah, No,"},{"startTime":2343.466,"endTime":2346.594,"body":"I remember,"},{"startTime":2343.466,"endTime":2346.594,"body":"like, during like, during the show,"},{"startTime":2346.719,"endTime":2350.931,"body":"I was Gelson's, and this, small woman"},{"startTime":2346.719,"endTime":2350.931,"body":"was like kind of looking up at me."},{"startTime":2350.931,"endTime":2353.601,"body":"And, and I finally looked over"},{"startTime":2350.931,"endTime":2353.601,"body":"and whatever."},{"startTime":2353.601,"endTime":2354.977,"body":"I thought she recognized me."},{"startTime":2354.977,"endTime":2356.729,"body":"And she said, you know, excuse me?"},{"startTime":2356.729,"endTime":2358.189,"body":"And I said, Yeah."},{"startTime":2358.189,"endTime":2360.733,"body":"And she said,"},{"startTime":2358.189,"endTime":2360.733,"body":"Can you reach that can for me?"},{"startTime":2360.733,"endTime":2363.069,"body":"She just wanted me to reach something"},{"startTime":2360.733,"endTime":2363.069,"body":"that she couldn't reach."},{"startTime":2363.069,"endTime":2363.736,"body":"Am I a jerk?"},{"startTime":2363.736,"endTime":2373.829,"body":"And who should I reach this to?"},{"startTime":2373.871,"endTime":2375.581,"body":"Well, this is this is crazy."},{"startTime":2375.581,"endTime":2376.874,"body":"You know what we have to do?"},{"startTime":2376.874,"endTime":2380.294,"body":"I feel like we have to do a regular East"},{"startTime":2376.874,"endTime":2380.294,"body":"Coast segment"},{"startTime":2380.378,"endTime":2383.798,"body":"because I will never get"},{"startTime":2380.378,"endTime":2383.798,"body":"I'll never tire of talking today."},{"startTime":2383.798,"endTime":2395.059,"body":"We're going to have to fit this in."},{"startTime":2395.142,"endTime":2416.914,"body":"Oh, sure."},{"startTime":2416.997,"endTime":2422.628,"body":"Wow. Amazing"},{"startTime":2422.711,"endTime":2422.92,"body":"show."},{"startTime":2422.92,"endTime":2425.714,"body":"So what kind of magic is"},{"startTime":2422.92,"endTime":2425.714,"body":"like when you get hosed down or."},{"startTime":2425.714,"endTime":2428.175,"body":"No, it's not a memory foam, is it?"},{"startTime":2428.175,"endTime":2433.556,"body":"Okay, good."},{"startTime":2433.639,"endTime":2435.391,"body":"That's so good."},{"startTime":2435.391,"endTime":2440.563,"body":"That's really good."},{"startTime":2440.646,"endTime":2443.649,"body":"You don't ever want any mattress"},{"startTime":2440.646,"endTime":2443.649,"body":"to remember what you've done."},{"startTime":2443.774,"endTime":2446.777,"body":"That's so good for today. Good Lord."},{"startTime":2446.944,"endTime":2453.075,"body":"Good Lord. Oh."},{"startTime":2453.159,"endTime":2458.289,"body":"Oh, Well,"},{"startTime":2458.289,"endTime":2461.542,"body":"I like to thank everyone I love you."},{"startTime":2461.625,"endTime":2462.46,"body":"We love you."},{"startTime":2462.46,"endTime":2465.421,"body":"And hopefully a season"},{"startTime":2462.46,"endTime":2465.421,"body":"three of Jackie would."},{"startTime":2465.504,"endTime":2467.923,"body":"Yeah, I think the. Script is written."},{"startTime":2467.923,"endTime":2471.093,"body":"And there are so many places"},{"startTime":2467.923,"endTime":2471.093,"body":"that it could really go."},{"startTime":2471.177,"endTime":2472.011,"body":"Things have been."},{"startTime":2472.011,"endTime":2475.389,"body":"And still and still nobody would see it,"},{"startTime":2472.011,"endTime":2475.389,"body":"but still there's a"},{"startTime":2475.598,"endTime":2480.519,"body":"there's got to be a place"},{"startTime":2475.598,"endTime":2480.519,"body":"where it's somewhere."},{"startTime":2480.603,"endTime":2483.564,"body":"I know."},{"startTime":2483.606,"endTime":2493.574,"body":"I honestly, I."},{"startTime":2493.657,"endTime":2496.452,"body":"Yeah I that's very much"},{"startTime":2496.452,"endTime":2503.834,"body":"that would be kind"},{"startTime":2496.452,"endTime":2503.834,"body":"of like a reality TV hybrid"},{"startTime":2503.918,"endTime":2506.504,"body":"hybrid it's more"},{"startTime":2506.504,"endTime":2512.885,"body":"it's bullshit meets."},{"startTime":2512.968,"endTime":2517.181,"body":"But with more balls coming."},{"startTime":2517.223,"endTime":2519.433,"body":"At. It in there those dogs know."},{"startTime":2519.433,"endTime":2520.559,"body":"Oh my God."},{"startTime":2520.559,"endTime":2523.979,"body":"Plugging Gary, would you tell the story"},{"startTime":2520.559,"endTime":2523.979,"body":"about your friend growing up?"},{"startTime":2524.188,"endTime":2525.397,"body":"About his dad."},{"startTime":2525.397,"endTime":2527.816,"body":"Oh, okay. This"},{"startTime":2525.397,"endTime":2527.816,"body":"and then we will in the episode."},{"startTime":2527.816,"endTime":2529.276,"body":"If this works, I might cut it out."},{"startTime":2529.276,"endTime":2533.531,"body":"But when I was a kid, my neighbors"},{"startTime":2533.656,"endTime":2537.201,"body":"played tennis and I was, you know,"},{"startTime":2533.656,"endTime":2537.201,"body":"my mom really wanted me to play tennis."},{"startTime":2537.243,"endTime":2539.036,"body":"It was fine."},{"startTime":2537.243,"endTime":2539.036,"body":"Whatever, anyhow, is at their house."},{"startTime":2539.036,"endTime":2542.665,"body":"And but there were two boys, two brothers,"},{"startTime":2539.036,"endTime":2542.665,"body":"and they were fucking crazy."},{"startTime":2542.665,"endTime":2543.332,"body":"And I love them,"},{"startTime":2543.332,"endTime":2545.918,"body":"but we went to go play tennis"},{"startTime":2543.332,"endTime":2545.918,"body":"and we came back to the house"},{"startTime":2545.918,"endTime":2548.921,"body":"and I was waiting in the kitchen"},{"startTime":2545.918,"endTime":2548.921,"body":"for my mom to pick me up."},{"startTime":2548.921,"endTime":2552.675,"body":"And my friend's mom"},{"startTime":2548.921,"endTime":2552.675,"body":"was standing in the kitchen at the island."},{"startTime":2552.675,"endTime":2554.468,"body":"There's a There's a skylight above her."},{"startTime":2554.468,"endTime":2557.388,"body":"And she still has her tennis visor on."},{"startTime":2557.388,"endTime":2558.764,"body":"Her tennis outfit on."},{"startTime":2558.764,"endTime":2560.891,"body":"She's drinking a glass of white wine."},{"startTime":2560.891,"endTime":2563.936,"body":"and the dad comes home, walks"},{"startTime":2560.891,"endTime":2563.936,"body":"in, you know, just got off work,"},{"startTime":2564.019,"endTime":2567.648,"body":"and they're talking."},{"startTime":2564.019,"endTime":2567.648,"body":"And all of a sudden I hear"},{"startTime":2567.731,"endTime":2569.483,"body":"like a scream."},{"startTime":2569.483,"endTime":2571.277,"body":"The dad said, He goes."},{"startTime":2571.277,"endTime":2573.862,"body":"I didn't want to tell you boys"},{"startTime":2571.277,"endTime":2573.862,"body":"about kicking each other in the nuts."},{"startTime":2573.862,"endTime":2575.864,"body":"And he like, goes,"},{"startTime":2575.864,"endTime":2582.162,"body":"And the mom just sits there"},{"startTime":2582.246,"endTime":2584.415,"body":"drinking the glass,"},{"startTime":2584.415,"endTime":2585.916,"body":"just just stone cold."},{"startTime":2585.916,"endTime":2588.794,"body":"Just, you know, her eyes are like,"},{"startTime":2585.916,"endTime":2588.794,"body":"not even focused."},{"startTime":2588.794,"endTime":2591.422,"body":"And the thing was, was"},{"startTime":2591.422,"endTime":2594.425,"body":"I just moved into town"},{"startTime":2591.422,"endTime":2594.425,"body":"from out in the country."},{"startTime":2594.425,"endTime":2598.637,"body":"We lived out of town,"},{"startTime":2594.425,"endTime":2598.637,"body":"so we moved into town and I was like"},{"startTime":2598.637,"endTime":2602.933,"body":"I was like, literally dumped"},{"startTime":2598.637,"endTime":2602.933,"body":"and had a hound dog follow me everywhere."},{"startTime":2603.017,"endTime":2604.184,"body":"I had no idea."},{"startTime":2604.184,"endTime":2605.644,"body":"You were Huckleberry Finn."},{"startTime":2605.644,"endTime":2608.272,"body":"Was like, That was like, I was like,"},{"startTime":2605.644,"endTime":2608.272,"body":"You guys, like, dig holes in the road."},{"startTime":2608.272,"endTime":2609.189,"body":"We have video games."},{"startTime":2609.189,"endTime":2612.943,"body":"Like, what the fuck is a video game? Yeah,"},{"startTime":2613.027,"endTime":2614.778,"body":"why the fuck not?"},{"startTime":2614.778,"endTime":2615.195,"body":"But that."},{"startTime":2615.195,"endTime":2618.407,"body":"Yeah, they had video games, you know,"},{"startTime":2615.195,"endTime":2618.407,"body":"So they were like,"},{"startTime":2618.616,"endTime":2622.411,"body":"Hey, we're going to go to we're going"},{"startTime":2618.616,"endTime":2622.411,"body":"to go to these this kid's house."},{"startTime":2622.411,"endTime":2624.83,"body":"They're like, Hey,"},{"startTime":2622.411,"endTime":2624.83,"body":"do you have shin guards?"},{"startTime":2624.83,"endTime":2626.54,"body":"And I was like, I think so."},{"startTime":2626.54,"endTime":2628.959,"body":"And they're like, okay, well,"},{"startTime":2626.54,"endTime":2628.959,"body":"you can borrow some online."},{"startTime":2628.959,"endTime":2633.672,"body":"The game was when you went over there,"},{"startTime":2628.959,"endTime":2633.672,"body":"someone would say four and you would have"},{"startTime":2633.672,"endTime":2636.675,"body":"to put your shin up like,"},{"startTime":2636.8,"endTime":2639.803,"body":"like your ankle to your knee,"},{"startTime":2636.8,"endTime":2639.803,"body":"one ankle to one knee."},{"startTime":2640.054,"endTime":2641.68,"body":"In the shape of, a four."},{"startTime":2641.68,"endTime":2643.932,"body":"A four because they would kick."},{"startTime":2643.932,"endTime":2645.517,"body":"And the thing was"},{"startTime":2643.932,"endTime":2645.517,"body":"you couldn't bend your leg."},{"startTime":2645.517,"endTime":2647.978,"body":"When you kick butt,"},{"startTime":2645.517,"endTime":2647.978,"body":"they would kick like straight up like a"},{"startTime":2647.978,"endTime":2649.438,"body":"you know, like a Nazi marching."},{"startTime":2649.438,"endTime":2655.027,"body":"And if you put your leg on a floor,"},{"startTime":2649.438,"endTime":2655.027,"body":"you wouldn't get kicked in the nuts."},{"startTime":2655.11,"endTime":2656.278,"body":"That was the game."},{"startTime":2656.278,"endTime":2660.032,"body":"And so when when I was there,"},{"startTime":2656.278,"endTime":2660.032,"body":"I guess, brother,"},{"startTime":2660.115,"endTime":2663.118,"body":"which I can't say his name,"},{"startTime":2660.115,"endTime":2663.118,"body":"the older brother"},{"startTime":2663.16,"endTime":2665.579,"body":"got the Yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":2665.579,"endTime":2671.043,"body":"Got the younger brother on"},{"startTime":2665.579,"endTime":2671.043,"body":"for when he wasn't expecting it."},{"startTime":2671.126,"endTime":2674.046,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2674.046,"endTime":2675.631,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2675.631,"endTime":2679.134,"body":"But just like those kind of ones"},{"startTime":2675.631,"endTime":2679.134,"body":"I was drawn to like I."},{"startTime":2679.134,"endTime":2681.553,"body":"Would just dad saying it."},{"startTime":2681.553,"endTime":2682.513,"body":"Was it like, it's like, it's like,"},{"startTime":2682.513,"endTime":2684.598,"body":"oh why is there a police car"},{"startTime":2682.513,"endTime":2684.598,"body":"in front of their house?"},{"startTime":2684.598,"endTime":2686.1,"body":"And it's like, oh, was it for anything"},{"startTime":2686.1,"endTime":2690.104,"body":"the parents is like because of something"},{"startTime":2686.1,"endTime":2690.104,"body":"the kid did."},{"startTime":2690.187,"endTime":2692.356,"body":"But also just that it was such a routine."},{"startTime":2692.356,"endTime":2695.359,"body":"What and I like"},{"startTime":2692.356,"endTime":2695.359,"body":"he's had to tell them more than once."},{"startTime":2695.484,"endTime":2699.905,"body":"What to do, like kicking each other."},{"startTime":2699.988,"endTime":2701.865,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2701.865,"endTime":2704.451,"body":"You just got home from work,"},{"startTime":2701.865,"endTime":2704.451,"body":"from a shitty job."},{"startTime":2704.451,"endTime":2707.538,"body":"Like, just travel,"},{"startTime":2707.621,"endTime":2717.506,"body":"huh? Hooray for Harley. What"},{"startTime":2717.589,"endTime":2731.687,"body":"is not kicking javelin?"},{"startTime":2731.77,"endTime":2734.773,"body":"There are other ways to get blue"},{"startTime":2731.77,"endTime":2734.773,"body":"balls, gentlemen."},{"startTime":2734.982,"endTime":2762.426,"body":"Oh, God almighty."},{"startTime":2762.509,"endTime":2776.356,"body":"Oh, my God."},{"startTime":2776.44,"endTime":2777.399,"body":"There's had a run."},{"startTime":2777.399,"endTime":2792.79,"body":"The truck."},{"startTime":2792.873,"endTime":2795.375,"body":"God, Dave,"},{"startTime":2792.873,"endTime":2795.375,"body":"you're still invited over to sleepovers."},{"startTime":2795.375,"endTime":2799.505,"body":"Talk about repressed."},{"startTime":2799.588,"endTime":2802.132,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2802.132,"endTime":2802.466,"body":"Kelly."},{"startTime":2802.466,"endTime":2806.929,"body":"We're about the Anyway,"},{"startTime":2807.012,"endTime":2808.806,"body":"Okay, we're going to do minor"},{"startTime":2808.806,"endTime":2814.102,"body":"accomplishments again,"},{"startTime":2808.806,"endTime":2814.102,"body":"but we'll call it something else."},{"startTime":2814.186,"endTime":2816.063,"body":"One last stab."},{"startTime":2816.063,"endTime":2819.775,"body":"Let's keep trying for no reason,"},{"startTime":2819.858,"endTime":2825.447,"body":"go fuck yourself."},{"startTime":2825.531,"endTime":2826.114,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2826.114,"endTime":2827.407,"body":"Bye bye, honey."},{"startTime":2827.407,"endTime":2828.2,"body":"Let us. Right."},{"startTime":2828.2,"endTime":2832.037,"body":"We're better than most."},{"startTime":2832.12,"endTime":2832.913,"body":"yeah."},{"startTime":2832.913,"endTime":2834.039,"body":"Thank you for coming on."},{"startTime":2834.039,"endTime":2838.252,"body":"The show is there for coming. One"},{"startTime":2838.293,"endTime":2844.383,"body":"I would like"},{"startTime":2844.424,"endTime":2846.593,"body":"what we're missing."},{"startTime":2846.593,"endTime":2847.928,"body":"We're missing Daniel."},{"startTime":2847.928,"endTime":2849.263,"body":"Yeah, and we're doing that."},{"startTime":2849.263,"endTime":2852.099,"body":"We do. We have to do"},{"startTime":2852.099,"endTime":2852.558,"body":"this."},{"startTime":2852.558,"endTime":2855.185,"body":"We're doing the East Coast segment"},{"startTime":2852.558,"endTime":2855.185,"body":"from now on. So you."},{"startTime":2855.185,"endTime":2858.105,"body":"I will be. I mean,"},{"startTime":2858.188,"endTime":2860.858,"body":"I think"},{"startTime":2858.188,"endTime":2860.858,"body":"like, I feel like if we're the guestroom,"},{"startTime":2860.858,"endTime":2865.028,"body":"I feel like that like so many friendships"},{"startTime":2860.858,"endTime":2865.028,"body":"are utilitarian out here."},{"startTime":2865.028,"endTime":2870.701,"body":"This is like our friendship going on over"},{"startTime":2865.028,"endTime":2870.701,"body":"performing, you know, kind of thing."},{"startTime":2870.784,"endTime":2875.914,"body":"that would say like the."},{"startTime":2875.998,"endTime":2880.544,"body":"World is, like"},{"startTime":2880.627,"endTime":2882.88,"body":"hanging out."},{"startTime":2882.88,"endTime":2883.839,"body":"I know."},{"startTime":2883.839,"endTime":2891.722,"body":"I love it to it is"},{"startTime":2891.805,"endTime":2894.182,"body":"I ayahuasca."},{"startTime":2894.182,"endTime":2895.142,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":2895.142,"endTime":2898.812,"body":"Oh, that'll be fun."},{"startTime":2898.896,"endTime":2901.273,"body":"Valhalla."},{"startTime":2901.273,"endTime":2905.36,"body":"Oh, love you, David."},{"startTime":2905.444,"endTime":2911.199,"body":"DAVID Okay, so, well,"},{"startTime":2905.444,"endTime":2911.199,"body":"hopefully we're going to season and"},{"startTime":2911.283,"endTime":2913.702,"body":"thank you for joining us."},{"startTime":2913.702,"endTime":2915.454,"body":"Are you?"},{"startTime":2915.454,"endTime":2916.58,"body":"Yeah, it's true."},{"startTime":2916.58,"endTime":2921.418,"body":"You're right."},{"startTime":2921.501,"endTime":2923.128,"body":"Peggy."},{"startTime":2923.128,"endTime":2925.047,"body":"Thank you."},{"startTime":2925.047,"endTime":2927.382,"body":"For that. Yeah, thank you."},{"startTime":2927.382,"endTime":2929.134,"body":"Thank you."},{"startTime":2929.134,"endTime":2930.093,"body":"They did it wrong."},{"startTime":2930.093,"endTime":2933.096,"body":"Yeah. I said okay, I'm leaving town."},{"startTime":2933.221,"endTime":2935.641,"body":"And I put in a big fight."}]}