{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":8.717,"endTime":9.884,"body":"Yahoo!"},{"startTime":9.884,"endTime":11.302,"body":"Welcome to what we thought would happen."},{"startTime":11.302,"endTime":14.848,"body":"We? Daniel, we are so fortunate."},{"startTime":14.931,"endTime":16.016,"body":"I mean, just in general."},{"startTime":16.016,"endTime":21.354,"body":"But today we have Jon Kinnally,"},{"startTime":16.016,"endTime":21.354,"body":"the amazing writer,"},{"startTime":21.354,"endTime":25.275,"body":"actor who's written on everything,"},{"startTime":21.354,"endTime":25.275,"body":"been in Everything and books."},{"startTime":25.275,"endTime":28.153,"body":"Important to me was played"},{"startTime":25.275,"endTime":28.153,"body":"the serial killer in the minor"},{"startTime":28.153,"endTime":32.282,"body":"accomplishments of Jackie Woodman,"},{"startTime":28.153,"endTime":32.282,"body":"which you can get on Amazon."},{"startTime":32.365,"endTime":33.074,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":33.074,"endTime":35.91,"body":"And also, we have with us"},{"startTime":35.91,"endTime":38.705,"body":"another,"},{"startTime":35.91,"endTime":38.705,"body":"very talented writer and performer."},{"startTime":38.705,"endTime":40.915,"body":"He's a clowning person, actually."},{"startTime":40.915,"endTime":43.585,"body":"Does it clowning"},{"startTime":40.915,"endTime":43.585,"body":"sound like a euphemism of it?"},{"startTime":43.585,"endTime":46.838,"body":"I fucking hate it. Oh, okay."},{"startTime":46.921,"endTime":48.048,"body":"Oh, I fucking."},{"startTime":48.048,"endTime":52.218,"body":"Anyway, Chris Young is with us, too,"},{"startTime":48.048,"endTime":52.218,"body":"and we're going to talk about."},{"startTime":52.385,"endTime":55.388,"body":"He wrote this email. Yeah."},{"startTime":55.597,"endTime":57.474,"body":"He wrote this really beautiful book"},{"startTime":57.474,"endTime":60.852,"body":"with Susan Ottavino."},{"startTime":60.935,"endTime":61.686,"body":"Yeah. From book club."},{"startTime":61.686,"endTime":65.19,"body":"And it's the book is called The Green,"},{"startTime":61.686,"endTime":65.19,"body":"which is Guide to Magical Plants"},{"startTime":65.19,"endTime":65.899,"body":"and Flowers."},{"startTime":65.899,"endTime":68.902,"body":"And we're going to have Chris read from"},{"startTime":65.899,"endTime":68.902,"body":"it a bit."},{"startTime":68.943,"endTime":71.488,"body":"A little. Yeah."},{"startTime":71.571,"endTime":72.238,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":72.238,"endTime":74.157,"body":"So anyway, we're."},{"startTime":74.157,"endTime":76.91,"body":"Back and we're also"},{"startTime":76.91,"endTime":78.036,"body":"going to."},{"startTime":78.036,"endTime":79.871,"body":"Get my bag or move. Around."},{"startTime":79.871,"endTime":83.166,"body":"And I feel just lucky that Daniel is here."},{"startTime":83.166,"endTime":86.044,"body":"Daniel's been on the road"},{"startTime":83.166,"endTime":86.044,"body":"and we missed the last one together, but."},{"startTime":86.044,"endTime":88.088,"body":"So everything is going to be just."},{"startTime":88.088,"endTime":91.382,"body":"What a fucking great."},{"startTime":88.088,"endTime":91.382,"body":"Yeah. My bag removal."},{"startTime":91.466,"endTime":91.925,"body":"Yeah. There."},{"startTime":91.925,"endTime":95.053,"body":"There are 24 carat gold"},{"startTime":91.925,"endTime":95.053,"body":"masks that we had under our eyes."},{"startTime":95.053,"endTime":100.558,"body":"Will take some pictures of those,"},{"startTime":95.053,"endTime":100.558,"body":"and then I'm sure we'll get it sponsored."},{"startTime":100.642,"endTime":101.851,"body":"Can we?"},{"startTime":101.851,"endTime":103.603,"body":"Yeah. They feel really good."},{"startTime":103.603,"endTime":105.48,"body":"About getting sponsored by Nads."},{"startTime":105.48,"endTime":106.022,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":106.022,"endTime":109.776,"body":"Okay, so Nads was it was ninety's to me"},{"startTime":106.022,"endTime":109.776,"body":"or like turn of the century"},{"startTime":109.776,"endTime":113.154,"body":"infomercial like late night"},{"startTime":109.776,"endTime":113.154,"body":"and it was this mom she's Australian"},{"startTime":113.196,"endTime":116.282,"body":"and she made it very funny"},{"startTime":113.196,"endTime":116.282,"body":"because the accent and she"},{"startTime":116.282,"endTime":121.287,"body":"it was called nads which I mean"},{"startTime":116.282,"endTime":121.287,"body":"the unfortunate testicles right Yeah"},{"startTime":121.371,"endTime":121.83,"body":"is that"},{"startTime":121.83,"endTime":125.917,"body":"it's a nickname for her daughter Natalie"},{"startTime":121.83,"endTime":125.917,"body":"and now stress as you call it names."},{"startTime":126.0,"endTime":128.503,"body":"Oh oh my God."},{"startTime":128.503,"endTime":128.878,"body":"Eat it."},{"startTime":128.878,"endTime":129.754,"body":"Like it was. Funny."},{"startTime":129.754,"endTime":133.925,"body":"She named her daughter"},{"startTime":129.754,"endTime":133.925,"body":"after a testicle hair removal."},{"startTime":134.008,"endTime":135.135,"body":"But that was the thing."},{"startTime":135.135,"endTime":137.011,"body":"I was, like, so hot."},{"startTime":137.011,"endTime":137.72,"body":"In the boardroom."},{"startTime":137.72,"endTime":138.721,"body":"Was that ever like,"},{"startTime":138.721,"endTime":143.101,"body":"a 14 year old teenager was like,"},{"startTime":138.721,"endTime":143.101,"body":"We probably should name it that."},{"startTime":143.184,"endTime":145.311,"body":"Yeah, because I."},{"startTime":145.311,"endTime":146.354,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":146.354,"endTime":147.814,"body":"I can't. Do it."},{"startTime":147.814,"endTime":150.984,"body":"Oh, I know, I know. It was."},{"startTime":151.067,"endTime":153.319,"body":"Yeah. Aphids."},{"startTime":153.319,"endTime":154.279,"body":"Aphids."},{"startTime":154.279,"endTime":157.74,"body":"I think I discontinued it"},{"startTime":154.279,"endTime":157.74,"body":"when because of that reason."},{"startTime":157.74,"endTime":160.034,"body":"Because of that."},{"startTime":160.034,"endTime":162.954,"body":"And my mom had a stash of it"},{"startTime":160.034,"endTime":162.954,"body":"and I would eat it."},{"startTime":162.954,"endTime":163.913,"body":"I eat it all the time."},{"startTime":163.913,"endTime":165.957,"body":"Yeah, it was like an appetite suppressant."},{"startTime":165.957,"endTime":166.708,"body":"Did it work?"},{"startTime":166.708,"endTime":167.5,"body":"No, it was."},{"startTime":167.5,"endTime":169.419,"body":"I wasn't speed, was it?"},{"startTime":169.419,"endTime":171.212,"body":"Well, probably. Really."},{"startTime":171.212,"endTime":173.214,"body":"I used to take Dexedrine all the time."},{"startTime":173.214,"endTime":173.923,"body":"Do you remember that?"},{"startTime":173.923,"endTime":176.301,"body":"Ed Balls in high school?"},{"startTime":176.301,"endTime":178.595,"body":"I bought them all the time. Pink"},{"startTime":176.301,"endTime":178.595,"body":"footballs."},{"startTime":178.595,"endTime":179.762,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":179.762,"endTime":181.181,"body":"And pink carrots I had. Yeah."},{"startTime":181.181,"endTime":183.85,"body":"Black Beauty and, oh. Black."},{"startTime":183.85,"endTime":185.268,"body":"Do like truckers."},{"startTime":185.268,"endTime":186.769,"body":"Like, I would drive from Austin to Dallas"},{"startTime":186.769,"endTime":189.189,"body":"and I would get, like,"},{"startTime":186.769,"endTime":189.189,"body":"truckers love it or that shit."},{"startTime":189.189,"endTime":190.607,"body":"Oh, vibrant."},{"startTime":190.607,"endTime":192.817,"body":"Yeah, Those. Things. Yeah."},{"startTime":192.817,"endTime":197.447,"body":"I still isn't that crystal meth. Yeah,"},{"startTime":197.53,"endTime":198.99,"body":"they can't call it that."},{"startTime":198.99,"endTime":201.784,"body":"They have to call it crystal meth."},{"startTime":201.784,"endTime":203.328,"body":"It's such a crystal meth."},{"startTime":203.328,"endTime":205.58,"body":"Oh, that would be fucking great."},{"startTime":205.58,"endTime":210.46,"body":"They in the one thing I was always about,"},{"startTime":205.58,"endTime":210.46,"body":"like, that would fit in for tweet, right?"},{"startTime":210.543,"endTime":211.878,"body":"Yeah, that's like a sponsor."},{"startTime":211.878,"endTime":215.548,"body":"Yeah. The new the new dating app."},{"startTime":215.632,"endTime":216.841,"body":"Oh, man."},{"startTime":216.841,"endTime":218.635,"body":"Like narc."},{"startTime":218.635,"endTime":221.512,"body":"I mean, I missed cocaine."},{"startTime":221.512,"endTime":223.973,"body":"Chyna. They were all. Just for the."},{"startTime":223.973,"endTime":228.311,"body":"I mean, just for the camaraderie of it,"},{"startTime":223.973,"endTime":228.311,"body":"not the boring conversations."},{"startTime":228.353,"endTime":229.103,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":229.103,"endTime":232.649,"body":"No, you're fucking hilarious."},{"startTime":232.732,"endTime":234.192,"body":"Oh, for God's sakes."},{"startTime":234.192,"endTime":237.111,"body":"I have won."},{"startTime":237.111,"endTime":239.364,"body":"One of the last times"},{"startTime":237.111,"endTime":239.364,"body":"I ever did cocaine. With that."},{"startTime":239.364,"endTime":242.033,"body":"I was at a bachelor party full, sober."},{"startTime":242.033,"endTime":242.784,"body":"It was so boring."},{"startTime":242.784,"endTime":245.411,"body":"And this one dude, he, like, elbowed me."},{"startTime":245.411,"endTime":247.372,"body":"It's like,"},{"startTime":245.411,"endTime":247.372,"body":"I bet you know where to get cocaine."},{"startTime":247.372,"endTime":250.833,"body":"Technically, he was right, but it wasn't"},{"startTime":247.372,"endTime":250.833,"body":"because it was a habit of mine."},{"startTime":250.833,"endTime":252.794,"body":"I just knew people. Mm hmm."},{"startTime":252.794,"endTime":255.171,"body":"So anyway, we went and scored,"},{"startTime":252.794,"endTime":255.171,"body":"and we came back, and I was like,"},{"startTime":255.171,"endTime":258.174,"body":"I'm just going to do one line,"},{"startTime":255.171,"endTime":258.174,"body":"and that's it All this time."},{"startTime":258.216,"endTime":259.092,"body":"Know me."},{"startTime":259.092,"endTime":262.095,"body":"And we got back to the sober"},{"startTime":259.092,"endTime":262.095,"body":"bachelor party,"},{"startTime":262.095,"endTime":266.14,"body":"and they were all debating"},{"startTime":262.095,"endTime":266.14,"body":"how good of a President Reagan was."},{"startTime":266.224,"endTime":270.52,"body":"Oh, oh, oh, oh."},{"startTime":270.603,"endTime":273.606,"body":"Oh, my mouth. Oh."},{"startTime":273.773,"endTime":277.527,"body":"Oh, my. God. Famous Coke ads."},{"startTime":277.61,"endTime":278.152,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":278.152,"endTime":279.279,"body":"No, I would think so."},{"startTime":279.279,"endTime":280.363,"body":"I remember."},{"startTime":280.363,"endTime":281.614,"body":"I remember that."},{"startTime":281.614,"endTime":283.032,"body":"Yeah, Calling."},{"startTime":283.032,"endTime":285.91,"body":"You for a girl and Amber waves and."},{"startTime":285.91,"endTime":286.953,"body":"I love you."},{"startTime":286.953,"endTime":291.457,"body":"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":291.541,"endTime":292.709,"body":"But yeah."},{"startTime":292.709,"endTime":295.295,"body":"Julianne Moore, I love you. She's so good."},{"startTime":295.295,"endTime":296.546,"body":"She's amazing."},{"startTime":296.546,"endTime":299.048,"body":"I need to stop because every time I hear"},{"startTime":296.546,"endTime":299.048,"body":"something like Amber Waves,"},{"startTime":299.048,"endTime":301.259,"body":"I'm like,"},{"startTime":299.048,"endTime":301.259,"body":"this terrible song. Like, don't bring it."},{"startTime":301.259,"endTime":303.261,"body":"Oh, that's okay."},{"startTime":303.261,"endTime":307.098,"body":"We have to get her on the"},{"startTime":303.261,"endTime":307.098,"body":"We have to get her on the podcast."},{"startTime":307.181,"endTime":311.477,"body":"Tori Amos, Is she that busy?"},{"startTime":311.561,"endTime":312.437,"body":"We're not getting more."},{"startTime":312.437,"endTime":313.688,"body":"Than I."},{"startTime":313.688,"endTime":315.023,"body":"Fucking go now."},{"startTime":315.023,"endTime":317.191,"body":"I don't know what anybody does anymore."},{"startTime":317.191,"endTime":318.109,"body":"I don't know."},{"startTime":318.109,"endTime":320.987,"body":"She's probably at the auditorium"},{"startTime":318.109,"endTime":320.987,"body":"or at the."},{"startTime":320.987,"endTime":322.78,"body":"The What is it called?"},{"startTime":322.78,"endTime":325.533,"body":"No. It's better we're playing together."},{"startTime":325.533,"endTime":325.742,"body":"All right."},{"startTime":325.742,"endTime":328.202,"body":"I was saving this for a surprise,"},{"startTime":325.742,"endTime":328.202,"body":"but Tori Amos and I"},{"startTime":328.202,"endTime":331.664,"body":"are going to be headlining"},{"startTime":328.202,"endTime":331.664,"body":"at the VFW in Burbank."},{"startTime":331.748,"endTime":333.374,"body":"Yes, I'll drink to the occasion."},{"startTime":333.374,"endTime":336.044,"body":"You're more."},{"startTime":336.044,"endTime":337.211,"body":"It's been five months,"},{"startTime":337.211,"endTime":340.214,"body":"and no one has complimented anybody's"},{"startTime":337.211,"endTime":340.214,"body":"eyes. Oh."},{"startTime":340.34,"endTime":341.007,"body":"Oh, my God."},{"startTime":341.007,"endTime":343.551,"body":"Our eyes are sparkling"},{"startTime":341.007,"endTime":343.551,"body":"and so clear underneath."},{"startTime":343.551,"endTime":344.218,"body":"Well, I will say that Jon's right"},{"startTime":343.551,"endTime":344.218,"body":"bag is going all"},{"startTime":344.218,"endTime":344.886,"body":"Well, I will say that Jon's right"},{"startTime":344.218,"endTime":344.886,"body":"bag is going all"},{"startTime":344.886,"endTime":346.262,"body":"Well, I will say that Jon's right"},{"startTime":344.886,"endTime":346.262,"body":"bag is going all"},{"startTime":346.262,"endTime":349.015,"body":"Well, I will say that Jon's right"},{"startTime":346.262,"endTime":349.015,"body":"bag is going all"},{"startTime":349.098,"endTime":349.682,"body":"the way back."},{"startTime":349.682,"endTime":350.933,"body":"It's bigger."},{"startTime":350.933,"endTime":353.519,"body":"Mm hmm. Yeah."},{"startTime":353.519,"endTime":355.271,"body":"But mine are still black underneath."},{"startTime":355.271,"endTime":356.606,"body":"I thought it was like, because, you know,"},{"startTime":356.606,"endTime":359.067,"body":"if you have really dark circles"},{"startTime":356.606,"endTime":359.067,"body":"under your. Eyes."},{"startTime":359.067,"endTime":360.651,"body":"Now, I think it's to reduce."},{"startTime":360.651,"endTime":362.153,"body":"Oh, maybe that's it."},{"startTime":362.153,"endTime":363.529,"body":"Oh, I know."},{"startTime":363.529,"endTime":364.572,"body":"Oh, here it is."},{"startTime":364.572,"endTime":367.241,"body":"The older"},{"startTime":364.572,"endTime":367.241,"body":"I get, my more of my Mariah Carey."},{"startTime":367.241,"endTime":370.453,"body":"Small lie is getting smaller. Oh, shit."},{"startTime":370.536,"endTime":373.122,"body":"I mean. What she has, she got."},{"startTime":373.122,"endTime":375.208,"body":"I have that two. Really small eyes."},{"startTime":375.208,"endTime":378.836,"body":"So you have to turn your face"},{"startTime":375.208,"endTime":378.836,"body":"this way and headshots so you don't clot."},{"startTime":378.878,"endTime":379.879,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":379.879,"endTime":382.465,"body":"One testicles"},{"startTime":379.879,"endTime":382.465,"body":"larger one boob is larger, right?"},{"startTime":382.465,"endTime":384.509,"body":"Well, not mine. They're perfect. Yeah."},{"startTime":384.509,"endTime":386.094,"body":"All right, here we go."},{"startTime":386.094,"endTime":387.428,"body":"Wow. Oh."},{"startTime":387.428,"endTime":390.515,"body":"It's never mattered last. Here we go."},{"startTime":390.556,"endTime":390.89,"body":"Oh, wait."},{"startTime":390.89,"endTime":393.893,"body":"One of them is square. I didn't know why."},{"startTime":394.06,"endTime":395.228,"body":"I just picked out."},{"startTime":395.228,"endTime":396.729,"body":"Make sure I'm wearing."},{"startTime":396.729,"endTime":398.398,"body":"A Calvin Klein bra."},{"startTime":398.398,"endTime":401.401,"body":"You have the gold eyes strips under."},{"startTime":401.484,"endTime":402.86,"body":"To lift them. Okay."},{"startTime":402.86,"endTime":403.486,"body":"Come here."},{"startTime":403.486,"endTime":405.279,"body":"Oh, thank you."},{"startTime":405.279,"endTime":407.24,"body":"Oh, shit."},{"startTime":407.24,"endTime":408.866,"body":"I know if I end any."},{"startTime":408.866,"endTime":410.952,"body":"Name, there's going to be across my chest."},{"startTime":410.952,"endTime":413.538,"body":"It should be a gay guy's name. That's."},{"startTime":410.952,"endTime":413.538,"body":"That's so great."},{"startTime":413.538,"endTime":414.247,"body":"That's great."},{"startTime":414.247,"endTime":415.123,"body":"Are you sure?"},{"startTime":415.123,"endTime":415.665,"body":"Do you?"},{"startTime":415.665,"endTime":418.668,"body":"Okay, so you're into oils like Sasha."},{"startTime":418.751,"endTime":420.753,"body":"You use Rose. Or else. Oil."},{"startTime":420.753,"endTime":423.589,"body":"I mean, I was using com through"},{"startTime":420.753,"endTime":423.589,"body":"most of my thirties and forties."},{"startTime":423.589,"endTime":426.467,"body":"I just rose oil sounds cheaper."},{"startTime":426.467,"endTime":429.595,"body":"You both have all of you guys have great"},{"startTime":426.467,"endTime":429.595,"body":"skin though I still have adult and."},{"startTime":429.804,"endTime":431.222,"body":"A little bit."},{"startTime":431.222,"endTime":433.307,"body":"Hmm. Hmm."},{"startTime":433.307,"endTime":435.977,"body":"Yeah. I used to do sperm facials."},{"startTime":435.977,"endTime":440.398,"body":"You know,"},{"startTime":435.977,"endTime":440.398,"body":"I just go in theater, supposedly."},{"startTime":440.481,"endTime":443.484,"body":"Isn't that called waking up"},{"startTime":443.651,"endTime":445.82,"body":"gay? No, It's so awful."},{"startTime":445.82,"endTime":447.071,"body":"Jesus Christ."},{"startTime":447.071,"endTime":449.323,"body":"Got me that. Dress because he."},{"startTime":449.323,"endTime":452.285,"body":"He's really good friends with Jane Fonda."},{"startTime":449.323,"endTime":452.285,"body":"And they both have the same like."},{"startTime":452.285,"endTime":454.412,"body":"You know, they both have a J."},{"startTime":454.412,"endTime":457.039,"body":"But that. Was it."},{"startTime":457.039,"endTime":459.625,"body":"I thought I read it in his autobiography,"},{"startTime":457.039,"endTime":459.625,"body":"like in a bookstore, bookstores"},{"startTime":459.625,"endTime":460.209,"body":"flipping through."},{"startTime":460.209,"endTime":461.252,"body":"It was like I right."},{"startTime":461.252,"endTime":463.921,"body":"There's no way"},{"startTime":461.252,"endTime":463.921,"body":"that I don't think it's a biography."},{"startTime":463.921,"endTime":465.173,"body":"You know him?"},{"startTime":465.173,"endTime":467.925,"body":"No, it would be"},{"startTime":465.173,"endTime":467.925,"body":"I the only reason I know he's still alive."},{"startTime":467.925,"endTime":471.012,"body":"Because if it's not Jane Fonda"},{"startTime":467.925,"endTime":471.012,"body":"dropping his name, it's like Lucie Arnaz,"},{"startTime":471.012,"endTime":473.556,"body":"who has the most boring Instagram"},{"startTime":471.012,"endTime":473.556,"body":"I've ever seen."},{"startTime":473.556,"endTime":474.849,"body":"Yeah, Yeah, it was."},{"startTime":474.849,"endTime":475.6,"body":"It was an award show"},{"startTime":475.6,"endTime":480.104,"body":"where out of nowhere,"},{"startTime":475.6,"endTime":480.104,"body":"Jane Fonda goes and Happy birthday, Tommy."},{"startTime":480.188,"endTime":481.522,"body":"Ha ha."},{"startTime":481.522,"endTime":483.608,"body":"And she looks great. But,"},{"startTime":481.522,"endTime":483.608,"body":"you know, she's old by now."},{"startTime":483.608,"endTime":486.194,"body":"She pronounces the new in tune."},{"startTime":486.194,"endTime":489.28,"body":"I feel this from like that less."},{"startTime":489.322,"endTime":492.909,"body":"But old people get carried. Oh."},{"startTime":492.992,"endTime":494.327,"body":"Your dentures."},{"startTime":494.327,"endTime":495.077,"body":"Well, I."},{"startTime":495.077,"endTime":496.787,"body":"feel like I have a theory about that."},{"startTime":496.787,"endTime":498.247,"body":"About stars and their kids."},{"startTime":498.247,"endTime":499.248,"body":"Like the stars"},{"startTime":499.248,"endTime":502.293,"body":"a lot of times have nothing to begin with"},{"startTime":499.248,"endTime":502.293,"body":"in the way of personalities."},{"startTime":502.293,"endTime":504.337,"body":"And then their kids have even less."},{"startTime":504.337,"endTime":507.798,"body":"So they're just kind of like"},{"startTime":504.337,"endTime":507.798,"body":"empty vessels."},{"startTime":507.882,"endTime":510.051,"body":"That they have to bother with."},{"startTime":507.882,"endTime":510.051,"body":"The person I."},{"startTime":510.051,"endTime":511.052,"body":"Know. Yeah, it's true."},{"startTime":511.052,"endTime":514.055,"body":"It's true energy"},{"startTime":511.052,"endTime":514.055,"body":"to have a for the doors of open door."},{"startTime":514.305,"endTime":514.847,"body":"But did you ever."},{"startTime":514.847,"endTime":518.684,"body":"See it's the it's Dick"},{"startTime":514.847,"endTime":518.684,"body":"Cavett's interview with Mae West."},{"startTime":518.768,"endTime":519.352,"body":"I love her."},{"startTime":519.352,"endTime":522.355,"body":"I love her. And I love Dick Cavett, too."},{"startTime":522.48,"endTime":525.107,"body":"I'm like, She's."},{"startTime":525.191,"endTime":526.317,"body":"Wait a second."},{"startTime":526.317,"endTime":528.402,"body":"What the hell is going on here?"},{"startTime":528.402,"endTime":530.238,"body":"Somebody had. That."},{"startTime":530.238,"endTime":534.283,"body":"She's like, the whole time, and it's like"},{"startTime":530.238,"endTime":534.283,"body":"she's chewing on a lost and right and."},{"startTime":534.367,"endTime":536.285,"body":"Oh, it's her."},{"startTime":536.285,"endTime":538.996,"body":"Oh, she's grinding them around."},{"startTime":538.996,"endTime":541.874,"body":"But didn't she have, like,"},{"startTime":538.996,"endTime":541.874,"body":"a kind of signature, like, kind"},{"startTime":541.874,"endTime":545.336,"body":"of a little kind of a gravelly voice? No."},{"startTime":545.378,"endTime":547.338,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":547.338,"endTime":549.298,"body":"Oh, yeah. Maybe that was it."},{"startTime":549.298,"endTime":551.509,"body":"Draw was like so trying to keep her gums"},{"startTime":549.298,"endTime":551.509,"body":"together."},{"startTime":551.509,"endTime":553.135,"body":"Daniel,"},{"startTime":551.509,"endTime":553.135,"body":"That could have been, like, threw out."},{"startTime":553.135,"endTime":554.554,"body":"I mean, maybe she always had them."},{"startTime":554.554,"endTime":556.138,"body":"I love her, too, because she has, like."},{"startTime":556.138,"endTime":558.641,"body":"Let's punch down on the dead."},{"startTime":558.641,"endTime":559.767,"body":"In a way. Yes."},{"startTime":559.767,"endTime":562.019,"body":"Which is like, bone"},{"startTime":559.767,"endTime":562.019,"body":"this way. Yeah, that did that."},{"startTime":562.019,"endTime":564.355,"body":"We got a wig on. Where is that?"},{"startTime":562.019,"endTime":564.355,"body":"But it's. Like."},{"startTime":564.355,"endTime":567.316,"body":"John Malkovich and Dangerous Liaisons"},{"startTime":564.355,"endTime":567.316,"body":"with the wig on way."},{"startTime":567.316,"endTime":567.817,"body":"I'm sorry."},{"startTime":567.817,"endTime":571.112,"body":"I don't know. Yes. Though. Wig on."},{"startTime":571.195,"endTime":574.532,"body":"But that's my favorite because the second"},{"startTime":571.195,"endTime":574.532,"body":"wig is, like, pulled in a ponytail."},{"startTime":574.532,"endTime":575.866,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":575.95,"endTime":577.285,"body":"Yeah. Mm."},{"startTime":577.285,"endTime":578.911,"body":"Live in Sunset Tower."},{"startTime":578.911,"endTime":581.706,"body":"Oh, I'm at the."},{"startTime":581.706,"endTime":582.707,"body":"Which used to be the Aga. Yeah."},{"startTime":582.707,"endTime":585.293,"body":"Which is now. And she lives there."},{"startTime":585.293,"endTime":586.335,"body":"Are you serious?"},{"startTime":586.335,"endTime":588.546,"body":"Yeah. I stayed in her room, shot her."},{"startTime":588.546,"endTime":591.632,"body":"I used her the day. Oh, my God."},{"startTime":588.546,"endTime":591.632,"body":"What it is."},{"startTime":591.799,"endTime":596.137,"body":"Can you let John"},{"startTime":591.799,"endTime":596.137,"body":"your husband finish a fucking sentence?"},{"startTime":596.22,"endTime":597.763,"body":"Go on, John."},{"startTime":597.763,"endTime":605.396,"body":"I never finished one,"},{"startTime":597.763,"endTime":605.396,"body":"so I don't know how I"},{"startTime":605.438,"endTime":608.983,"body":"had another stupid fact."},{"startTime":609.066,"endTime":609.9,"body":"You know."},{"startTime":609.9,"endTime":611.193,"body":"John Wayne."},{"startTime":611.193,"endTime":612.403,"body":"I don't care what they said."},{"startTime":612.403,"endTime":614.53,"body":"There were two penthouse apartments"},{"startTime":612.403,"endTime":614.53,"body":"and he lived in one,"},{"startTime":614.53,"endTime":617.199,"body":"and he kept a cow on the balcony."},{"startTime":617.199,"endTime":619.619,"body":"Oh, no. Milk like that."},{"startTime":619.619,"endTime":620.703,"body":"Oh, that's. Awful."},{"startTime":620.703,"endTime":624.04,"body":"The cow may with."},{"startTime":624.123,"endTime":625.207,"body":"That. Is really awful."},{"startTime":625.207,"endTime":626.584,"body":"How could he do that?"},{"startTime":626.584,"endTime":630.504,"body":"Why wasn't PETA alerted? He this?"},{"startTime":630.588,"endTime":631.714,"body":"That's awful."},{"startTime":631.714,"endTime":632.465,"body":"You have had a."},{"startTime":632.465,"endTime":635.134,"body":"Oh, what a gross pig."},{"startTime":635.134,"endTime":638.22,"body":"I mean, he and by the way,"},{"startTime":635.134,"endTime":638.22,"body":"and he ironically or non"},{"startTime":638.22,"endTime":643.726,"body":"ironically died with so much meat in his"},{"startTime":638.22,"endTime":643.726,"body":"you know, in his."},{"startTime":643.809,"endTime":646.354,"body":"Yeah. I mean, his baptism was such a he."},{"startTime":646.354,"endTime":651.067,"body":"Had like he had like £50 of shit"},{"startTime":646.354,"endTime":651.067,"body":"in his esophagus from all the media."},{"startTime":651.233,"endTime":651.734,"body":"You don't. Really."},{"startTime":651.734,"endTime":653.194,"body":"Digest red meat."},{"startTime":653.194,"endTime":655.529,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":655.529,"endTime":656.947,"body":"Ages. Yeah."},{"startTime":656.947,"endTime":658.866,"body":"I think. had to be doing this wrong."},{"startTime":658.866,"endTime":660.076,"body":"I think he got cancer. Right."},{"startTime":660.076,"endTime":663.663,"body":"And that cancer in it"},{"startTime":660.076,"endTime":663.663,"body":"came from the atomic bomb."},{"startTime":663.704,"endTime":665.498,"body":"Yes, yes, yes."},{"startTime":665.498,"endTime":668.042,"body":"Oh. Yes. In about Nevada."},{"startTime":668.042,"endTime":669.293,"body":"Yes. Yeah."},{"startTime":669.293,"endTime":670.836,"body":"Because he made some stupid movie."},{"startTime":670.836,"endTime":672.421,"body":"I can't remember the name of it with."},{"startTime":672.421,"endTime":674.131,"body":"With Agnes Moorehead."},{"startTime":674.131,"endTime":676.008,"body":"With who also."},{"startTime":676.008,"endTime":677.051,"body":"Died of a weird cancer."},{"startTime":677.051,"endTime":679.053,"body":"Oh no."},{"startTime":679.053,"endTime":681.639,"body":"Died of cancer because of the wind"},{"startTime":679.053,"endTime":681.639,"body":"while they were shooting."},{"startTime":681.639,"endTime":686.602,"body":"Not everyone, but while they were shooting, the winds were blowing all that studio"},{"startTime":686.686,"endTime":688.604,"body":"dust onto the set."},{"startTime":688.604,"endTime":689.897,"body":"That was. Oppenheimer."},{"startTime":689.897,"endTime":690.398,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":690.398,"endTime":692.191,"body":"Not at. All. During Oppenheimer."},{"startTime":692.191,"endTime":693.567,"body":"That's the story I was telling."},{"startTime":693.567,"endTime":696.445,"body":"And I just. Want to see somebody. To."},{"startTime":696.445,"endTime":697.071,"body":"Watch it"},{"startTime":697.071,"endTime":700.491,"body":"with a bunch of fucking like millennial"},{"startTime":697.071,"endTime":700.491,"body":"who are younger than me and so I was like,"},{"startTime":700.574,"endTime":704.036,"body":"I know who Agnes Moorehead is"},{"startTime":700.574,"endTime":704.036,"body":"and all these fucking Fagots don't know."},{"startTime":704.12,"endTime":705.454,"body":"Nobody knows."},{"startTime":705.454,"endTime":707.873,"body":"Like, really. Monster."},{"startTime":707.873,"endTime":709.417,"body":"It was like fucking Morticia Addams."},{"startTime":709.417,"endTime":712.086,"body":"Nobody knows. Eve Arden, who I love."},{"startTime":712.086,"endTime":715.089,"body":"And Priest. Um."},{"startTime":715.172,"endTime":717.425,"body":"Mm. Yes. Oh, my gosh."},{"startTime":717.425,"endTime":720.428,"body":"That's the link. An athletic supporter."},{"startTime":720.678,"endTime":721.929,"body":"She's in Greece one."},{"startTime":721.929,"endTime":723.639,"body":"Yes. Yeah, She was like."},{"startTime":723.639,"endTime":727.226,"body":"If you can't be an athlete,"},{"startTime":723.639,"endTime":727.226,"body":"be an athletic supporter."},{"startTime":727.476,"endTime":730.062,"body":"She wasn't the carryover. I Didi Kong."},{"startTime":730.062,"endTime":731.188,"body":"I was in the."},{"startTime":731.188,"endTime":734.358,"body":"Oh. Vice president or vice principal?"},{"startTime":734.442,"endTime":739.238,"body":"No, Deacon was Frenchy. Frenchy? Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":739.321,"endTime":741.49,"body":"Hmm. I just love my fucking fagot."},{"startTime":741.49,"endTime":743.659,"body":"I knew this was an early time"},{"startTime":741.49,"endTime":743.659,"body":"when it was like, gay."},{"startTime":743.659,"endTime":745.494,"body":"It was watching Grease."},{"startTime":745.494,"endTime":748.914,"body":"I'd seen it a million times, but it wasn't"},{"startTime":745.494,"endTime":748.914,"body":"till I had seen it in my teen years."},{"startTime":748.914,"endTime":751.083,"body":"I was like, Oh, is that Alice goes,"},{"startTime":751.083,"endTime":754.795,"body":"Oh, I don't like my Designing Women"},{"startTime":751.083,"endTime":754.795,"body":"credentials."},{"startTime":755.004,"endTime":756.922,"body":"Then I'm,"},{"startTime":756.922,"endTime":758.883,"body":"uh. Yeah."},{"startTime":758.883,"endTime":761.302,"body":"I remember her"},{"startTime":758.883,"endTime":761.302,"body":"from Bewitched to Bewitched. Yeah."},{"startTime":761.302,"endTime":762.136,"body":"Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":762.136,"endTime":763.846,"body":"Which was the greatest show. Mm hmm."},{"startTime":763.846,"endTime":766.849,"body":"I yeah, I rewatched a few. It had been a."},{"startTime":766.974,"endTime":768.476,"body":"We watched the pilot recently."},{"startTime":768.476,"endTime":770.77,"body":"We did. Oh, wow."},{"startTime":770.77,"endTime":771.312,"body":"Black and white."},{"startTime":771.312,"endTime":772.271,"body":"No, it was in color."},{"startTime":772.271,"endTime":774.023,"body":"We didn't understand"},{"startTime":772.271,"endTime":774.023,"body":"because the first one,"},{"startTime":774.023,"endTime":776.692,"body":"which started in black and white,"},{"startTime":774.023,"endTime":776.692,"body":"that was in color."},{"startTime":776.692,"endTime":778.778,"body":"I don't know if it had been colorized and."},{"startTime":778.778,"endTime":781.155,"body":"Oh. It to do it on or maybe."},{"startTime":781.155,"endTime":784.325,"body":"But they spent money on the pilot."},{"startTime":781.155,"endTime":784.325,"body":"So what?"},{"startTime":784.408,"endTime":787.036,"body":"Oh yeah."},{"startTime":787.036,"endTime":789.205,"body":"They, I"},{"startTime":787.036,"endTime":789.205,"body":"the one I watched was a later season."},{"startTime":789.205,"endTime":790.289,"body":"I mean I got into it"},{"startTime":790.289,"endTime":793.292,"body":"when they had it, like"},{"startTime":790.289,"endTime":793.292,"body":"it was like manufactured and really slick,"},{"startTime":793.292,"endTime":797.213,"body":"but it was an episode where they drink"},{"startTime":793.292,"endTime":797.213,"body":"an old wine and it makes you invisible."},{"startTime":797.379,"endTime":800.925,"body":"Oh. All the plates are floating."},{"startTime":800.925,"endTime":802.259,"body":"And it's like all the."},{"startTime":802.259,"endTime":803.552,"body":"I love that."},{"startTime":803.552,"endTime":805.971,"body":"The candy"},{"startTime":803.552,"endTime":805.971,"body":"and make it look like it's invisible."},{"startTime":805.971,"endTime":808.057,"body":"And so I lived for that. Yeah."},{"startTime":808.057,"endTime":808.849,"body":"Very clunky."},{"startTime":808.849,"endTime":811.727,"body":"Another weird fact,"},{"startTime":808.849,"endTime":811.727,"body":"the guy who played Larry Tate."},{"startTime":811.727,"endTime":813.145,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":813.145,"endTime":817.525,"body":"Is buried in the Hollywood Forever"},{"startTime":813.145,"endTime":817.525,"body":"cemetery."},{"startTime":817.608,"endTime":822.571,"body":"And in one of those, his ashes"},{"startTime":817.608,"endTime":822.571,"body":"are there behind a piece of glass"},{"startTime":822.655,"endTime":823.489,"body":"next to skulls."},{"startTime":823.489,"endTime":824.824,"body":"It has a little."},{"startTime":824.824,"endTime":830.079,"body":"Oh. Knowing that we need to go"},{"startTime":824.824,"endTime":830.079,"body":"see her at home forever."},{"startTime":830.162,"endTime":833.123,"body":"She's got it. But they have."},{"startTime":833.123,"endTime":837.211,"body":"He's killing."},{"startTime":837.294,"endTime":838.254,"body":"Her right."},{"startTime":838.254,"endTime":840.506,"body":"Now. And Johnny. Ramone wa."},{"startTime":840.506,"endTime":841.34,"body":"Oh, that's right."},{"startTime":841.34,"endTime":842.174,"body":"But what was."},{"startTime":842.174,"endTime":845.845,"body":"But Larry were Larry Tate"},{"startTime":842.174,"endTime":845.845,"body":"and Stella Stevens were they an item?"},{"startTime":846.053,"endTime":846.72,"body":"Not that I know."},{"startTime":846.72,"endTime":849.473,"body":"Oh. Happened to be next"},{"startTime":846.72,"endTime":849.473,"body":"to each other in the movie."},{"startTime":849.473,"endTime":850.933,"body":"Maybe now in urn."},{"startTime":850.933,"endTime":852.852,"body":"Oh, okay."},{"startTime":852.852,"endTime":853.936,"body":"Now that they're dead, they're mourning."},{"startTime":853.936,"endTime":856.981,"body":"And, uh, it's like product placement."},{"startTime":856.981,"endTime":857.982,"body":"There's, urn placement."},{"startTime":857.982,"endTime":858.899,"body":"Round the corner."},{"startTime":858.899,"endTime":862.444,"body":"Casanova. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I grew up."},{"startTime":862.528,"endTime":866.365,"body":"Uh, like his body went"},{"startTime":862.528,"endTime":866.365,"body":"on, like, tour, right?"},{"startTime":866.365,"endTime":868.409,"body":"Didn't they, like. Yeah."},{"startTime":868.409,"endTime":870.369,"body":"Yeah, they put him on, like, a train."},{"startTime":870.369,"endTime":873.08,"body":"I kind of want to do that now"},{"startTime":873.163,"endTime":873.747,"body":"because I don't want"},{"startTime":873.747,"endTime":876.75,"body":"to do anything,"},{"startTime":873.747,"endTime":876.75,"body":"and I'll just be, like, seen."},{"startTime":876.75,"endTime":878.043,"body":"I've almost died, you know?"},{"startTime":878.043,"endTime":879.461,"body":"So why not do it now?"},{"startTime":879.461,"endTime":881.255,"body":"People just like you've died on stage?"},{"startTime":881.255,"endTime":881.881,"body":"Oh, for."},{"startTime":881.881,"endTime":883.173,"body":"Sure. You're right, John."},{"startTime":883.173,"endTime":885.759,"body":"Why not just make."},{"startTime":885.759,"endTime":886.552,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":886.552,"endTime":888.804,"body":"And talk about, you know, your dad?"},{"startTime":888.804,"endTime":891.765,"body":"Yeah. Yeah. His and hers."},{"startTime":891.765,"endTime":894.518,"body":"Yes. That's fantastic. That's just."},{"startTime":894.518,"endTime":895.644,"body":"It's like."},{"startTime":895.644,"endTime":896.854,"body":"I like it. Let's do it."},{"startTime":896.854,"endTime":899.732,"body":"But we're going to put some fucking gold"},{"startTime":896.854,"endTime":899.732,"body":"things under your eyes."},{"startTime":899.732,"endTime":901.901,"body":"Okay. Okay."},{"startTime":901.901,"endTime":903.652,"body":"I tell you what, it was one of the."},{"startTime":903.652,"endTime":907.281,"body":"I don't tell you what I tell you,"},{"startTime":903.652,"endTime":907.281,"body":"you Texan,"},{"startTime":907.364,"endTime":909.074,"body":"my great great. He was an old man."},{"startTime":909.074,"endTime":913.746,"body":"He had he had fucking sawed off his"},{"startTime":909.074,"endTime":913.746,"body":"fingers building his house in 1942, so."},{"startTime":913.829,"endTime":916.54,"body":"Wow. His eyes were"},{"startTime":913.829,"endTime":916.54,"body":"so you could see the red."},{"startTime":916.54,"endTime":917.666,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":917.75,"endTime":919.96,"body":"So he had no teeth and so."},{"startTime":919.96,"endTime":923.589,"body":"But when he fucking died,"},{"startTime":919.96,"endTime":923.589,"body":"they put him in the casket and whatever"},{"startTime":923.631,"endTime":927.801,"body":"ghoul mortician had, like,"},{"startTime":923.631,"endTime":927.801,"body":"stapled his. Own."},{"startTime":927.885,"endTime":928.427,"body":"Teeth in."},{"startTime":928.427,"endTime":930.596,"body":"And I guess to give his mouth full."},{"startTime":930.596,"endTime":932.848,"body":"So when we saw him are like, Who is this?"},{"startTime":932.848,"endTime":936.101,"body":"Oh, it was good humor. Oh."},{"startTime":936.185,"endTime":938.02,"body":"She was made up like a drag queen."},{"startTime":938.02,"endTime":938.896,"body":"Yeah. Mhm."},{"startTime":938.896,"endTime":943.192,"body":"And her and I still can't like"},{"startTime":938.896,"endTime":943.192,"body":"I feel so PTSD from it."},{"startTime":943.192,"endTime":945.653,"body":"Yeah. Oh really. That's not my. Mom."},{"startTime":945.653,"endTime":948.906,"body":"Uh, of where I was like"},{"startTime":945.653,"endTime":948.906,"body":"she would fuck if she was a little."},{"startTime":948.948,"endTime":950.991,"body":"Sure she would struggle. Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":950.991,"endTime":954.244,"body":"Uh, one of the weirdest things I saw was"},{"startTime":950.991,"endTime":954.244,"body":"they,"},{"startTime":954.328,"endTime":957.581,"body":"did the viewing, and then there's"},{"startTime":954.328,"endTime":957.581,"body":"the fucking burial where the old."},{"startTime":957.706,"endTime":959.708,"body":"They wanted to see her again."},{"startTime":959.708,"endTime":961.752,"body":"So they opened it up at the gravesite."},{"startTime":961.752,"endTime":962.336,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":962.336,"endTime":963.462,"body":"Jeez, I."},{"startTime":963.462,"endTime":964.755,"body":"Thought it was the craziest thing"},{"startTime":964.755,"endTime":966.507,"body":"I ever heard because I was like,"},{"startTime":964.755,"endTime":966.507,"body":"Surely she's jostled."},{"startTime":966.507,"endTime":969.343,"body":"You know what I mean? Yeah, he's gone"},{"startTime":966.507,"endTime":969.343,"body":"from peacefully wrestling or something."},{"startTime":969.343,"endTime":970.052,"body":"Right, Right."},{"startTime":970.052,"endTime":971.845,"body":"But she had her hand."},{"startTime":971.845,"endTime":974.682,"body":"Yeah, she had her hand down her dress."},{"startTime":974.682,"endTime":976.392,"body":"Down her own dress."},{"startTime":976.392,"endTime":977.768,"body":"I'm still embarrassed."},{"startTime":977.768,"endTime":981.063,"body":"But. With the with the horrible"},{"startTime":977.768,"endTime":981.063,"body":"makeup and shit they put on you to make"},{"startTime":981.063,"endTime":984.817,"body":"you look alive or whatever, Uh, I'm like,"},{"startTime":981.063,"endTime":984.817,"body":"You look amazing."},{"startTime":984.942,"endTime":986.944,"body":"Oh. Look, this is."},{"startTime":986.944,"endTime":987.361,"body":"I want."},{"startTime":987.361,"endTime":989.655,"body":"It's lighting this truly beautiful. Right?"},{"startTime":989.655,"endTime":992.408,"body":"Well, the ring. Yes."},{"startTime":992.491,"endTime":993.283,"body":"I used to do"},{"startTime":993.283,"endTime":996.37,"body":"this bit about because I went to"},{"startTime":993.283,"endTime":996.37,"body":"my grandmother's funeral."},{"startTime":996.37,"endTime":1000.749,"body":"Ah, white trash family put, like,"},{"startTime":996.37,"endTime":1000.749,"body":"little trinkets in the casket,"},{"startTime":1000.791,"endTime":1002.626,"body":"and I used to make a joke like that."},{"startTime":1000.791,"endTime":1002.626,"body":"We were pharaohs."},{"startTime":1002.626,"endTime":1006.63,"body":"I was looking in, and there was,"},{"startTime":1002.626,"endTime":1006.63,"body":"like, a little mirror in her casket."},{"startTime":1006.714,"endTime":1009.883,"body":"So I was like, looking at my,"},{"startTime":1006.714,"endTime":1009.883,"body":"you know, a Budweiser mirror."},{"startTime":1009.883,"endTime":1012.678,"body":"No, now. But it"},{"startTime":1009.883,"endTime":1012.678,"body":"but it was trashy like that."},{"startTime":1012.678,"endTime":1015.472,"body":"And I was like, Oh, my God, this is sad."},{"startTime":1015.472,"endTime":1017.474,"body":"I don't know. No."},{"startTime":1017.474,"endTime":1020.477,"body":"They just"},{"startTime":1020.686,"endTime":1024.398,"body":"it just stands."},{"startTime":1024.481,"endTime":1026.15,"body":"She's going to do some trading."},{"startTime":1026.15,"endTime":1029.319,"body":"See, people still do it"},{"startTime":1026.15,"endTime":1029.319,"body":"where you pose next to the body."},{"startTime":1029.445,"endTime":1031.28,"body":"Oh, God. Yeah, I've seen that."},{"startTime":1031.28,"endTime":1032.448,"body":"It was a whole school."},{"startTime":1032.448,"endTime":1035.534,"body":"I mean, I've been noticing"},{"startTime":1032.448,"endTime":1035.534,"body":"people on Instagram"},{"startTime":1035.534,"endTime":1039.204,"body":"and, like,"},{"startTime":1035.534,"endTime":1039.204,"body":"social media is posting pictures of there."},{"startTime":1039.413,"endTime":1039.621,"body":"And then,"},{"startTime":1039.621,"endTime":1042.624,"body":"you know, they're making that announcement"},{"startTime":1039.621,"endTime":1042.624,"body":"that you make when your pet dies."},{"startTime":1042.833,"endTime":1047.379,"body":"And there is a picture of the dead pet,"},{"startTime":1042.833,"endTime":1047.379,"body":"not like a, you know, a live picture"},{"startTime":1047.379,"endTime":1049.423,"body":"about like a dead. Oh, no."},{"startTime":1049.423,"endTime":1051.383,"body":"That's a I've been seeing that a. Lot."},{"startTime":1051.383,"endTime":1054.136,"body":"That's how I feel about the wax museum."},{"startTime":1054.136,"endTime":1055.095,"body":"Oh, no, no, Go ahead, please."},{"startTime":1055.095,"endTime":1058.682,"body":"I was going to say there is a"},{"startTime":1055.095,"endTime":1058.682,"body":"in New Orleans and maybe it's environs."},{"startTime":1058.724,"endTime":1060.642,"body":"they have bodies that they pose"},{"startTime":1058.724,"endTime":1060.642,"body":"at a funeral,"},{"startTime":1060.642,"endTime":1063.062,"body":"like smoking and sitting in a chair."},{"startTime":1063.062,"endTime":1064.646,"body":"Oh, wow."},{"startTime":1064.646,"endTime":1066.065,"body":"Different things, which I kind of love."},{"startTime":1066.065,"endTime":1068.65,"body":"I mean, you can get buried"},{"startTime":1066.065,"endTime":1068.65,"body":"in your Cadillac or whatever."},{"startTime":1068.65,"endTime":1071.57,"body":"And I want. To hold a martini for. Sure."},{"startTime":1071.57,"endTime":1074.114,"body":"I wish you could have an open casket,"},{"startTime":1071.57,"endTime":1074.114,"body":"but I have, like,"},{"startTime":1074.114,"endTime":1077.701,"body":"one of the legs rigged on the casket"},{"startTime":1074.114,"endTime":1077.701,"body":"to give out in the middle of the ceremony."},{"startTime":1077.701,"endTime":1078.702,"body":"So I fall."},{"startTime":1078.702,"endTime":1082.915,"body":"And then I wanted"},{"startTime":1078.702,"endTime":1082.915,"body":"to test is who picks me up. I"},{"startTime":1082.998,"endTime":1083.624,"body":"What do you mean?"},{"startTime":1083.624,"endTime":1084.875,"body":"You're standing?"},{"startTime":1084.875,"endTime":1086.376,"body":"No, like I'm laying in a casket."},{"startTime":1086.376,"endTime":1089.421,"body":"One of the legs. Of the casket fall out."},{"startTime":1089.421,"endTime":1090.881,"body":"I thought you meant your casque."},{"startTime":1090.881,"endTime":1092.758,"body":"I mean, your leg. Okay."},{"startTime":1092.758,"endTime":1094.051,"body":"You know who your who likes you."},{"startTime":1094.051,"endTime":1097.054,"body":"Knew exactly who was going to come."},{"startTime":1097.096,"endTime":1097.846,"body":"And you to where."},{"startTime":1097.846,"endTime":1098.347,"body":"There's."},{"startTime":1098.347,"endTime":1101.016,"body":"It's just like videos of people"},{"startTime":1098.347,"endTime":1101.016,"body":"falling out of casket."},{"startTime":1101.016,"endTime":1101.975,"body":"Oh, no."},{"startTime":1101.975,"endTime":1104.394,"body":"Like a casket falls"},{"startTime":1101.975,"endTime":1104.394,"body":"out of the back of a hearse."},{"startTime":1104.394,"endTime":1105.395,"body":"It's hilarious."},{"startTime":1105.395,"endTime":1108.524,"body":"Oh, I guess it has. To have. Happened."},{"startTime":1108.524,"endTime":1109.942,"body":"It has? Yeah."},{"startTime":1109.942,"endTime":1111.151,"body":"I love Hollywood forever."},{"startTime":1111.151,"endTime":1112.194,"body":"Like, just there's, like, a place to."},{"startTime":1112.194,"endTime":1114.571,"body":"Drink when I do whatever."},{"startTime":1114.571,"endTime":1116.198,"body":"I don't have any money or anything."},{"startTime":1116.198,"endTime":1118.408,"body":"So I went to cemeteries"},{"startTime":1116.198,"endTime":1118.408,"body":"because I love that shit."},{"startTime":1118.408,"endTime":1121.37,"body":"I mean, sit there on a bench or whatever"},{"startTime":1118.408,"endTime":1121.37,"body":"Hollywood forever is."},{"startTime":1121.37,"endTime":1122.287,"body":"Oh, it is."},{"startTime":1122.287,"endTime":1124.164,"body":"And we sell gardens"},{"startTime":1122.287,"endTime":1124.164,"body":"just. Sitting there forever."},{"startTime":1124.164,"endTime":1127.918,"body":"That's why Charlie Manson outside."},{"startTime":1127.96,"endTime":1128.71,"body":"I love."},{"startTime":1128.71,"endTime":1129.795,"body":"I love Shirley Manson."},{"startTime":1129.795,"endTime":1134.842,"body":"I saw garbage over for the Smashing"},{"startTime":1129.795,"endTime":1134.842,"body":"Pumpkins in 1991."},{"startTime":1134.925,"endTime":1136.635,"body":"Yeah, that's. A great show."},{"startTime":1136.635,"endTime":1140.848,"body":"Just this fucking glitter red like pixie"},{"startTime":1136.635,"endTime":1140.848,"body":"running back the back of the band."},{"startTime":1140.889,"endTime":1143.684,"body":"Uh. Blondie a couple of years ago."},{"startTime":1143.684,"endTime":1147.312,"body":"And we're driving through Beverly Hills,"},{"startTime":1143.684,"endTime":1147.312,"body":"which we don't usually do,"},{"startTime":1147.521,"endTime":1149.481,"body":"and we saw her going into a nail salon."},{"startTime":1149.481,"endTime":1151.692,"body":"We yelled out the window,"},{"startTime":1149.481,"endTime":1151.692,"body":"We love you, Shirley."},{"startTime":1151.692,"endTime":1153.36,"body":"And she flipped around. She goes."},{"startTime":1153.36,"endTime":1158.407,"body":"Thanks, fellas are so great and amazing."},{"startTime":1158.615,"endTime":1159.658,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1159.658,"endTime":1161.66,"body":"But I was going to say,"},{"startTime":1159.658,"endTime":1161.66,"body":"speaking of Blondie,"},{"startTime":1161.66,"endTime":1164.496,"body":"I think that you should read the foreword."},{"startTime":1164.538,"endTime":1165.914,"body":"And Chris is."},{"startTime":1165.914,"endTime":1168.75,"body":"Is it is it a long for. It is a long."},{"startTime":1168.75,"endTime":1170.377,"body":"No, it's not, actually."},{"startTime":1170.377,"endTime":1171.92,"body":"I mean. Let's read it."},{"startTime":1171.92,"endTime":1173.672,"body":"Y'all read the for it. Yeah."},{"startTime":1173.672,"endTime":1175.966,"body":"Put it out there cause Chris."},{"startTime":1175.966,"endTime":1177.968,"body":"Chris and John are good friends"},{"startTime":1175.966,"endTime":1177.968,"body":"with Blondie."},{"startTime":1177.968,"endTime":1181.263,"body":"Coachella. This last year. She again she."},{"startTime":1181.346,"endTime":1182.89,"body":"She ruled on Rio."},{"startTime":1182.89,"endTime":1186.894,"body":"She ruled their with Nile"},{"startTime":1182.89,"endTime":1186.894,"body":"Rodgers is not now."},{"startTime":1186.894,"endTime":1190.105,"body":"And their version of rapture she's just."},{"startTime":1190.189,"endTime":1191.273,"body":"She's incredible and."},{"startTime":1191.273,"endTime":1194.484,"body":"My favorite thing is at the end"},{"startTime":1191.273,"endTime":1194.484,"body":"she does is like and my wife's her nose"},{"startTime":1194.484,"endTime":1196.612,"body":"because it's fucking cold"},{"startTime":1194.484,"endTime":1196.612,"body":"and she's like up there."},{"startTime":1196.612,"endTime":1200.282,"body":"And I was like,"},{"startTime":1196.612,"endTime":1200.282,"body":"after she just killed the set. But."},{"startTime":1200.365,"endTime":1203.785,"body":"And also there's a rap group"},{"startTime":1200.365,"endTime":1203.785,"body":"that kind of that"},{"startTime":1203.785,"endTime":1206.788,"body":"says that they were influenced by her"},{"startTime":1203.785,"endTime":1206.788,"body":"because of rapture."},{"startTime":1206.872,"endTime":1210.083,"body":"A lot of I can't remember who they are"},{"startTime":1206.872,"endTime":1210.083,"body":"now, but Somebody are like."},{"startTime":1210.083,"endTime":1211.919,"body":"Credited a lot for being on the first."},{"startTime":1210.083,"endTime":1211.919,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1211.919,"endTime":1214.588,"body":"Put rap. In like, Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":1214.588,"endTime":1215.005,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1215.005,"endTime":1217.925,"body":"So what could be a better review of this"},{"startTime":1215.005,"endTime":1217.925,"body":"book?"},{"startTime":1217.925,"endTime":1219.176,"body":"Chris is."},{"startTime":1219.176,"endTime":1221.011,"body":"Deborah Harris's foreword to. My book."},{"startTime":1221.011,"endTime":1223.013,"body":"Okay. Okay."},{"startTime":1221.011,"endTime":1223.013,"body":"Now imagine that I'm beautiful."},{"startTime":1223.013,"endTime":1227.1,"body":"Deborah Harry I was invited to visit"},{"startTime":1223.013,"endTime":1227.1,"body":"Chris Young's home while I was in L.A."},{"startTime":1227.309,"endTime":1228.644,"body":"having known him for years"},{"startTime":1228.644,"endTime":1232.481,"body":"when he was a younger Blondie fan"},{"startTime":1228.644,"endTime":1232.481,"body":"and having some downtime between shows."},{"startTime":1232.481,"endTime":1234.316,"body":"I said yes to this invitation."},{"startTime":1234.316,"endTime":1237.611,"body":"L.A., like many cities with a history,"},{"startTime":1234.316,"endTime":1237.611,"body":"has a lot of hidden"},{"startTime":1237.611,"endTime":1240.614,"body":"curiosities, a wealth of places"},{"startTime":1237.611,"endTime":1240.614,"body":"tucked away in the hills"},{"startTime":1240.781,"endTime":1244.243,"body":"or at the dead end of a street"},{"startTime":1240.781,"endTime":1244.243,"body":"that appears to trail off to the Pacific."},{"startTime":1244.326,"endTime":1247.788,"body":"When I arrived at Chris's place,"},{"startTime":1244.326,"endTime":1247.788,"body":"he showed me around his charming house"},{"startTime":1247.871,"endTime":1250.624,"body":"and then said, Let's"},{"startTime":1247.871,"endTime":1250.624,"body":"go outside to the garden."},{"startTime":1250.624,"endTime":1253.543,"body":"This is where I learned"},{"startTime":1250.624,"endTime":1253.543,"body":"something about him that I never knew."},{"startTime":1253.543,"endTime":1257.381,"body":"Chris has a passion for creating"},{"startTime":1253.543,"endTime":1257.381,"body":"habitats of beauty with all the sweet,"},{"startTime":1257.381,"endTime":1261.635,"body":"spicy, earthy smells that come along"},{"startTime":1257.381,"endTime":1261.635,"body":"with the flowers, trees, past and ponds."},{"startTime":1261.718,"endTime":1263.553,"body":"I could even smell the sunshine."},{"startTime":1263.553,"endTime":1266.139,"body":"That's my favorite."},{"startTime":1266.223,"endTime":1266.682,"body":"Smell."},{"startTime":1266.682,"endTime":1269.685,"body":"Were you both on acid? Yeah."},{"startTime":1269.935,"endTime":1272.813,"body":"Immediately"},{"startTime":1269.935,"endTime":1272.813,"body":"I was transported to another dimension."},{"startTime":1272.813,"endTime":1275.315,"body":"What an incredible surprise"},{"startTime":1272.813,"endTime":1275.315,"body":"it was finding out another side"},{"startTime":1275.315,"endTime":1277.192,"body":"to Chris's personality."},{"startTime":1277.192,"endTime":1279.069,"body":"His split. Personality."},{"startTime":1279.069,"endTime":1281.154,"body":"Later, Chris and his friend Susan Tatiana"},{"startTime":1281.154,"endTime":1284.491,"body":"put together the Green Witch's"},{"startTime":1281.154,"endTime":1284.491,"body":"Guide to magical plants and flowers."},{"startTime":1284.491,"endTime":1287.995,"body":"And I can think of more than a few friends"},{"startTime":1284.491,"endTime":1287.995,"body":"who would love to have this book,"},{"startTime":1287.995,"endTime":1289.621,"body":"which is also full of info,"},{"startTime":1289.621,"endTime":1292.624,"body":"recipes, illustrations,"},{"startTime":1289.621,"endTime":1292.624,"body":"and lots of stories, history and lore."},{"startTime":1292.749,"endTime":1295.711,"body":"As for myself,"},{"startTime":1292.749,"endTime":1295.711,"body":"I think this book is a keeper"},{"startTime":1295.961,"endTime":1299.464,"body":"and I will have it on my shelf"},{"startTime":1295.961,"endTime":1299.464,"body":"within easy reach for the next time."},{"startTime":1299.464,"endTime":1302.676,"body":"I want to cast a love spell"},{"startTime":1299.464,"endTime":1302.676,"body":"on the object of my affection."},{"startTime":1302.759,"endTime":1304.845,"body":"I love surprises and this collection."},{"startTime":1304.845,"endTime":1305.971,"body":"That's a really good one."},{"startTime":1305.971,"endTime":1308.64,"body":"Wow, that's wonderful."},{"startTime":1305.971,"endTime":1308.64,"body":"She's a good writer, too."},{"startTime":1308.64,"endTime":1309.85,"body":"That's beautiful."},{"startTime":1309.85,"endTime":1312.477,"body":"Well-written. Yeah, she's awesome."},{"startTime":1312.477,"endTime":1316.148,"body":"You know,"},{"startTime":1312.477,"endTime":1316.148,"body":"she had a story, and you probably told me"},{"startTime":1316.148,"endTime":1320.61,"body":"this, Chris or John, that that she thinks"},{"startTime":1316.148,"endTime":1320.61,"body":"she was picked up by Ted Bundy."},{"startTime":1320.694,"endTime":1322.154,"body":"Right on house down."},{"startTime":1322.154,"endTime":1326.7,"body":"And this was early"},{"startTime":1322.154,"endTime":1326.7,"body":"seventies. Yeah. Recently"},{"startTime":1326.783,"endTime":1328.201,"body":"I. Was in my cruise."},{"startTime":1328.201,"endTime":1328.618,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1328.618,"endTime":1332.205,"body":"No he she was going to like a New Year's"},{"startTime":1328.618,"endTime":1332.205,"body":"Eve party and she was wearing"},{"startTime":1332.205,"endTime":1335.208,"body":"platform shoes and she could barely walk."},{"startTime":1335.208,"endTime":1338.628,"body":"And then so she took them off and"},{"startTime":1335.208,"endTime":1338.628,"body":"there was all this broken glass on Halston"},{"startTime":1338.712,"endTime":1341.673,"body":"because back in the day. Mm hmm."},{"startTime":1341.673,"endTime":1344.384,"body":"And this guy offered to give her a ride,"},{"startTime":1341.673,"endTime":1344.384,"body":"and she's like, nine."},{"startTime":1344.384,"endTime":1345.469,"body":"And he kept coming around."},{"startTime":1345.469,"endTime":1347.679,"body":"And finally she was like, Yeah, why not?"},{"startTime":1347.679,"endTime":1350.057,"body":"And she thought"},{"startTime":1347.679,"endTime":1350.057,"body":"she would just bring him to the party."},{"startTime":1350.057,"endTime":1353.018,"body":"And then she got inside and noticed"},{"startTime":1350.057,"endTime":1353.018,"body":"the car was stripped out."},{"startTime":1353.018,"endTime":1353.935,"body":"No door."},{"startTime":1353.935,"endTime":1356.355,"body":"Ooh, smell really bad."},{"startTime":1356.355,"endTime":1359.649,"body":"And she just squeezed her arm out"},{"startTime":1356.355,"endTime":1359.649,"body":"through the top of the window"},{"startTime":1359.649,"endTime":1362.986,"body":"and opened the door"},{"startTime":1359.649,"endTime":1362.986,"body":"and threw herself out onto how she was."},{"startTime":1362.986,"endTime":1366.573,"body":"So was it locked on the inside like so"},{"startTime":1362.986,"endTime":1366.573,"body":"there was no way to get."},{"startTime":1366.573,"endTime":1369.576,"body":"Out for her? Yeah."},{"startTime":1369.576,"endTime":1371.62,"body":"Was this door. Obviously,"},{"startTime":1369.576,"endTime":1371.62,"body":"he hadn't been crossed."},{"startTime":1371.62,"endTime":1372.371,"body":"He had been kind."},{"startTime":1372.371,"endTime":1376.041,"body":"She said that when he was caught,"},{"startTime":1372.371,"endTime":1376.041,"body":"she saw him on the news and recognized him"},{"startTime":1376.041,"endTime":1383.382,"body":"and she said, like the hairs on her neck,"},{"startTime":1376.041,"endTime":1383.382,"body":"just, Oh, I am so fucking scary. You"},{"startTime":1383.465,"endTime":1384.257,"body":"know?"},{"startTime":1384.257,"endTime":1387.803,"body":"So we were talking about cruising"},{"startTime":1384.257,"endTime":1387.803,"body":"after I like scruff and grinder"},{"startTime":1387.803,"endTime":1391.807,"body":"and yeah, remember when Craigslist was"},{"startTime":1387.803,"endTime":1391.807,"body":"the early version of all of that, right?"},{"startTime":1391.807,"endTime":1393.433,"body":"Was called Casual Encounters."},{"startTime":1393.433,"endTime":1395.143,"body":"Rest in Peace. Great. Right."},{"startTime":1395.143,"endTime":1396.937,"body":"So you go post an email"},{"startTime":1396.937,"endTime":1400.148,"body":"basically thing like looking for"},{"startTime":1396.937,"endTime":1400.148,"body":"and then maybe a picture of your dick."},{"startTime":1400.148,"endTime":1401.983,"body":"Maybe it was really crude times."},{"startTime":1401.983,"endTime":1405.32,"body":"But this one guy I was"},{"startTime":1401.983,"endTime":1405.32,"body":"this is an author, someone who posted"},{"startTime":1405.32,"endTime":1409.116,"body":"several just face photos of them"},{"startTime":1405.32,"endTime":1409.116,"body":"smiling, fully clothed."},{"startTime":1409.199,"endTime":1410.826,"body":"Holding meals in their home."},{"startTime":1410.826,"endTime":1412.953,"body":"Yeah, the guy."},{"startTime":1412.953,"endTime":1414.579,"body":"With a wagon wheel."},{"startTime":1414.579,"endTime":1416.623,"body":"Wouldn't like. Oh. She's right."},{"startTime":1416.623,"endTime":1418.708,"body":"Like all this, like, exposure."},{"startTime":1418.708,"endTime":1421.586,"body":"But on it,"},{"startTime":1418.708,"endTime":1421.586,"body":"they had the biggest, dumbest smile."},{"startTime":1421.586,"endTime":1422.712,"body":"Oof! Just like."},{"startTime":1422.712,"endTime":1425.549,"body":"Like a real estate"},{"startTime":1422.712,"endTime":1425.549,"body":"license photo or something like that."},{"startTime":1425.549,"endTime":1428.844,"body":"And I remember laughing my ass up"},{"startTime":1425.549,"endTime":1428.844,"body":"and was like, Who puts these photos on"},{"startTime":1428.844,"endTime":1429.594,"body":"to get that?"},{"startTime":1429.594,"endTime":1429.845,"body":"You know?"},{"startTime":1429.845,"endTime":1431.972,"body":"I mean, it's just so like. And then, you."},{"startTime":1431.972,"endTime":1433.89,"body":"Know, I just laughed at it."},{"startTime":1433.89,"endTime":1437.727,"body":"Flash forward like a few months"},{"startTime":1433.89,"endTime":1437.727,"body":"and they're like, There was a murder"},{"startTime":1437.727,"endTime":1439.563,"body":"and no forced entry."},{"startTime":1439.563,"endTime":1443.358,"body":"A man's like, skull was bashed in"},{"startTime":1439.563,"endTime":1443.358,"body":"and they showed his photo and it was that"},{"startTime":1443.525,"endTime":1445.318,"body":"dude. You've. Shown his."},{"startTime":1445.318,"endTime":1446.611,"body":"Driver's license photo."},{"startTime":1446.611,"endTime":1449.489,"body":"And I was like, Who smiles like that for"},{"startTime":1446.611,"endTime":1449.489,"body":"their driver's license and all of that."},{"startTime":1449.489,"endTime":1451.992,"body":"I remember the. Ooh."},{"startTime":1451.992,"endTime":1454.703,"body":"I was like,"},{"startTime":1451.992,"endTime":1454.703,"body":"This has to be a Craigslist killer, right?"},{"startTime":1454.703,"endTime":1456.705,"body":"Like a no forced entry, gay man."},{"startTime":1456.705,"endTime":1457.914,"body":"Oh, my. Gosh."},{"startTime":1457.914,"endTime":1460.667,"body":"But I was afraid to incriminate myself."},{"startTime":1460.667,"endTime":1462.127,"body":"Yeah, really hammered."},{"startTime":1462.127,"endTime":1465.672,"body":"And I called 911 at, like, 2 a.m.. Mm hmm."},{"startTime":1465.714,"endTime":1467.09,"body":"I saw this because I never have."},{"startTime":1467.09,"endTime":1470.051,"body":"I don't want to use my name"},{"startTime":1467.09,"endTime":1470.051,"body":"because I don't like this because I'm."},{"startTime":1470.051,"endTime":1471.47,"body":"An upstanding Christian."},{"startTime":1471.47,"endTime":1472.596,"body":"Yeah, Yeah."},{"startTime":1472.596,"endTime":1475.807,"body":"But anyway, they didn't, like,"},{"startTime":1472.596,"endTime":1475.807,"body":"take it seriously at all."},{"startTime":1475.891,"endTime":1478.852,"body":"And I kind of, like, saw the white kids."},{"startTime":1478.852,"endTime":1480.187,"body":"You had seen him somewhere else?"},{"startTime":1480.187,"endTime":1482.314,"body":"I saw his photo."},{"startTime":1482.314,"endTime":1483.982,"body":"Oh, just on Craigslist. Oh, I'm sorry."},{"startTime":1483.982,"endTime":1485.692,"body":"Murder house."},{"startTime":1485.692,"endTime":1486.359,"body":"In Texas."},{"startTime":1486.359,"endTime":1489.237,"body":"I was like, Oh, my God, that poor fagot."},{"startTime":1489.237,"endTime":1491.698,"body":"But I was also like,"},{"startTime":1489.237,"endTime":1491.698,"body":"Don't don't ever smile that big."},{"startTime":1491.698,"endTime":1494.367,"body":"And your driver's license photo"},{"startTime":1491.698,"endTime":1494.367,"body":"got anything happens to you on the news?"},{"startTime":1494.367,"endTime":1495.494,"body":"That's what they use."},{"startTime":1495.494,"endTime":1498.747,"body":"I don't think they want you to smile"},{"startTime":1495.494,"endTime":1498.747,"body":"either, because I feel like when I last"},{"startTime":1498.747,"endTime":1503.335,"body":"got my picture taken, they were like,"},{"startTime":1498.747,"endTime":1503.335,"body":"Stop smiling and like, you're smiling."},{"startTime":1503.418,"endTime":1504.878,"body":"And it's also cliche."},{"startTime":1504.878,"endTime":1505.545,"body":"I think"},{"startTime":1505.545,"endTime":1509.841,"body":"that, you know, serial killers are nuts"},{"startTime":1505.545,"endTime":1509.841,"body":"and they have a big smile on their faces."},{"startTime":1509.841,"endTime":1512.093,"body":"Right. Ted Bundy was how he was."},{"startTime":1512.093,"endTime":1513.428,"body":"He was. Okay."},{"startTime":1513.428,"endTime":1514.429,"body":"Is that inappropriate?"},{"startTime":1514.429,"endTime":1516.181,"body":"Yeah, he was. He was smoking."},{"startTime":1516.181,"endTime":1517.474,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":1517.474,"endTime":1520.477,"body":"Apparently he was thinking he had it,"},{"startTime":1517.474,"endTime":1520.477,"body":"so I can't reconcile that."},{"startTime":1520.519,"endTime":1521.019,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1521.019,"endTime":1523.021,"body":"Like pit stinky or like, urine."},{"startTime":1523.021,"endTime":1525.44,"body":"I think there's, like, dirty, stinky."},{"startTime":1525.44,"endTime":1527.108,"body":"Where did you meet?"},{"startTime":1527.108,"endTime":1529.236,"body":"Wait, why does that lead to Debra? Harry?"},{"startTime":1529.236,"endTime":1532.906,"body":"And speaking of French,"},{"startTime":1529.236,"endTime":1532.906,"body":"speaking of French people,"},{"startTime":1532.989,"endTime":1535.784,"body":"you know, I dated this guy."},{"startTime":1535.784,"endTime":1537.452,"body":"But how. Did that interaction. Happen?"},{"startTime":1537.452,"endTime":1541.706,"body":"We met in the early nineties"},{"startTime":1537.452,"endTime":1541.706,"body":"I met her through my friends"},{"startTime":1541.706,"endTime":1543.291,"body":"who have a band called Betty."},{"startTime":1543.291,"endTime":1547.212,"body":"Um, and then I was working on the Jon"},{"startTime":1543.291,"endTime":1547.212,"body":"Stewart show and I booked her"},{"startTime":1547.212,"endTime":1550.09,"body":"for the very first episode"},{"startTime":1547.212,"endTime":1550.09,"body":"and we hung out in the green room all day."},{"startTime":1550.09,"endTime":1550.924,"body":"The Jon Stewart show."},{"startTime":1550.924,"endTime":1552.926,"body":"Like the talk show? Yeah. Are you kidding?"},{"startTime":1552.926,"endTime":1554.719,"body":"I care."},{"startTime":1554.719,"endTime":1558.306,"body":"Jon and I met 100 years ago Chris Taylor."},{"startTime":1558.39,"endTime":1559.641,"body":"The same agent for one."},{"startTime":1559.641,"endTime":1560.308,"body":"Yeah, we."},{"startTime":1560.308,"endTime":1564.437,"body":"Yeah,"},{"startTime":1560.308,"endTime":1564.437,"body":"I was with William Morris and James Dixon."},{"startTime":1564.646,"endTime":1566.106,"body":"Does that give you a chill?"},{"startTime":1566.106,"endTime":1568.9,"body":"He go, Hey, hey, hey,"},{"startTime":1568.984,"endTime":1571.987,"body":"hey. Look, he called"},{"startTime":1568.984,"endTime":1571.987,"body":"me up and give me tickets to the Dodgers."},{"startTime":1571.987,"endTime":1573.947,"body":"And I'd say,"},{"startTime":1571.987,"endTime":1573.947,"body":"How about just booking me on something?"},{"startTime":1573.947,"endTime":1575.615,"body":"I don't give a fuck about baseball."},{"startTime":1575.615,"endTime":1577.284,"body":"I know that. You know."},{"startTime":1577.284,"endTime":1578.41,"body":"Like. Yeah."},{"startTime":1578.41,"endTime":1580.161,"body":"Or I mean, not the Dodgers."},{"startTime":1578.41,"endTime":1580.161,"body":"The Mets. What?"},{"startTime":1580.161,"endTime":1580.912,"body":"What was in New York?"},{"startTime":1580.912,"endTime":1583.873,"body":"But I don't even know. But Yeah."},{"startTime":1583.873,"endTime":1585.875,"body":"But remember, catch, remember?"},{"startTime":1585.875,"endTime":1587.168,"body":"Okay, I've talked about this."},{"startTime":1587.168,"endTime":1592.34,"body":"I dated John briefly he, I had his show"},{"startTime":1587.168,"endTime":1592.34,"body":"and then his agents and I said,"},{"startTime":1592.549,"endTime":1596.303,"body":"I said we went out or something"},{"startTime":1592.549,"endTime":1596.303,"body":"and it and his agent."},{"startTime":1596.386,"endTime":1596.636,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1596.636,"endTime":1600.515,"body":"Or the, or was the manager was like"},{"startTime":1596.636,"endTime":1600.515,"body":"oh this isn't, this isn't good for John."},{"startTime":1600.599,"endTime":1601.808,"body":"I don't talk about that."},{"startTime":1601.808,"endTime":1603.435,"body":"It's not good for John's image."},{"startTime":1603.435,"endTime":1603.768,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1603.768,"endTime":1606.479,"body":"That he went out with a"},{"startTime":1603.768,"endTime":1606.479,"body":"slut like me or something."},{"startTime":1606.479,"endTime":1609.024,"body":"I don't know what, what I don't know"},{"startTime":1606.479,"endTime":1609.024,"body":"what did they want to think?"},{"startTime":1609.024,"endTime":1611.276,"body":"The producers were very upset"},{"startTime":1609.024,"endTime":1611.276,"body":"that she mentioned rules."},{"startTime":1611.276,"endTime":1612.277,"body":"What to do."},{"startTime":1612.277,"endTime":1615.155,"body":"I think they wanted this image of"},{"startTime":1612.277,"endTime":1615.155,"body":"John is like this single."},{"startTime":1615.155,"endTime":1616.323,"body":"Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":1616.323,"endTime":1618.033,"body":"Well, we weren't going out at the time."},{"startTime":1618.033,"endTime":1620.201,"body":"Yeah, it was weird, but I remember."},{"startTime":1620.201,"endTime":1622.203,"body":"I think that's funny."},{"startTime":1620.201,"endTime":1622.203,"body":"I thought you told me that."},{"startTime":1622.203,"endTime":1623.538,"body":"They said. This is the. Average."},{"startTime":1623.538,"endTime":1624.372,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":1624.372,"endTime":1627.917,"body":"Oh, you have to note that John can't"},{"startTime":1624.372,"endTime":1627.917,"body":"have had a relationship like that."},{"startTime":1628.043,"endTime":1628.752,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1628.752,"endTime":1630.045,"body":"With another comic Who?"},{"startTime":1630.045,"endTime":1632.255,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that was funny."},{"startTime":1632.255,"endTime":1635.8,"body":"That was like, I remember"},{"startTime":1632.255,"endTime":1635.8,"body":"my friends at the time were huge into"},{"startTime":1635.8,"endTime":1637.594,"body":"the Jon Stewart show."},{"startTime":1637.636,"endTime":1639.262,"body":"He is a sweetheart,"},{"startTime":1639.262,"endTime":1643.266,"body":"you know what he was when he was doing"},{"startTime":1639.262,"endTime":1643.266,"body":"his sign off The Daily Show?"},{"startTime":1643.266,"endTime":1643.808,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1643.808,"endTime":1646.811,"body":"He mentioned my name about,"},{"startTime":1643.808,"endTime":1646.811,"body":"like all the comics he started with him."},{"startTime":1647.062,"endTime":1650.315,"body":"And that meant so much to my uncle,"},{"startTime":1647.062,"endTime":1650.315,"body":"who watched the show every day."},{"startTime":1650.398,"endTime":1651.691,"body":"And he goes, you know, he mentioned you."},{"startTime":1651.691,"endTime":1653.276,"body":"And I was like, Oh, that's sweet."},{"startTime":1653.276,"endTime":1656.279,"body":"He's the only celebrity"},{"startTime":1653.276,"endTime":1656.279,"body":"that I can think of right now"},{"startTime":1656.321,"endTime":1659.157,"body":"that I followed once because,"},{"startTime":1659.157,"endTime":1662.535,"body":"you know, he's cute as hell"},{"startTime":1659.157,"endTime":1662.535,"body":"and he's a good guy."},{"startTime":1662.619,"endTime":1664.12,"body":"That wasn't my father."},{"startTime":1664.12,"endTime":1667.04,"body":"Yeah, no. You got a decent man. I was."},{"startTime":1667.04,"endTime":1668.041,"body":"He's his."},{"startTime":1668.041,"endTime":1669.209,"body":"His wife is a vet."},{"startTime":1669.209,"endTime":1670.251,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":1670.251,"endTime":1671.211,"body":"She's incredible."},{"startTime":1671.211,"endTime":1672.462,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":1672.462,"endTime":1674.964,"body":"Sanctuary. Yeah. I'm crazy about his wife."},{"startTime":1672.462,"endTime":1674.964,"body":"I'm going to say it."},{"startTime":1674.964,"endTime":1676.424,"body":"I love Jon Stewart's wife."},{"startTime":1676.424,"endTime":1678.259,"body":"They're upset. At. Her."},{"startTime":1678.259,"endTime":1679.719,"body":"I think she was working at the Gap."},{"startTime":1679.719,"endTime":1680.095,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1680.095,"endTime":1680.595,"body":"Oh, really?"},{"startTime":1680.595,"endTime":1683.598,"body":"Yeah. Oh, oh, because I remember."},{"startTime":1683.598,"endTime":1686.935,"body":"Oh, because I just remember him"},{"startTime":1683.598,"endTime":1686.935,"body":"saying that because I."},{"startTime":1686.935,"endTime":1691.231,"body":"gave him one of his first cats in New"},{"startTime":1686.935,"endTime":1691.231,"body":"York, an orange cat who he named Stanley."},{"startTime":1691.314,"endTime":1692.816,"body":"And I know."},{"startTime":1692.816,"endTime":1695.819,"body":"And he said,"},{"startTime":1692.816,"endTime":1695.819,"body":"he said, You'll be glad to know my wife."},{"startTime":1695.944,"endTime":1697.654,"body":"My wife is a veterinarian. And."},{"startTime":1697.654,"endTime":1699.781,"body":"Oh, I don't know."},{"startTime":1697.654,"endTime":1699.781,"body":"I don't know how I remember that."},{"startTime":1699.781,"endTime":1700.532,"body":"But anyway."},{"startTime":1700.532,"endTime":1703.201,"body":"Yeah, he's a good"},{"startTime":1700.532,"endTime":1703.201,"body":"I mean, he seems like he's awesome."},{"startTime":1703.201,"endTime":1706.705,"body":"I've never loved a job"},{"startTime":1703.201,"endTime":1706.705,"body":"more than when I was working"},{"startTime":1706.788,"endTime":1707.455,"body":"for him."},{"startTime":1707.455,"endTime":1708.665,"body":"Yeah, he's great."},{"startTime":1708.665,"endTime":1711.126,"body":"Because The Daily Show"},{"startTime":1708.665,"endTime":1711.126,"body":"is what he's known for. No more."},{"startTime":1711.126,"endTime":1712.377,"body":"I think people totally forget that."},{"startTime":1712.377,"endTime":1714.003,"body":"He had a great show."},{"startTime":1714.003,"endTime":1717.006,"body":"He started on MTV. Yeah. He booked"},{"startTime":1717.006,"endTime":1719.467,"body":"all the people,"},{"startTime":1717.006,"endTime":1719.467,"body":"not all the talent, but I did."},{"startTime":1719.467,"endTime":1722.137,"body":"And he has a show. His show now."},{"startTime":1722.137,"endTime":1723.096,"body":"Oh, right. Hated."},{"startTime":1723.096,"endTime":1728.852,"body":"And we were up against CONAN O'Brien and"},{"startTime":1723.096,"endTime":1728.852,"body":"we didn't have a network supporting us."},{"startTime":1728.852,"endTime":1731.813,"body":"So CONAN kind of won that. Yeah. MM."},{"startTime":1731.813,"endTime":1734.649,"body":"They were similar vibe. Similar vibe,"},{"startTime":1731.813,"endTime":1734.649,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1734.649,"endTime":1737.652,"body":"Just young and kind of unknown, right?"},{"startTime":1734.649,"endTime":1737.652,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1737.694,"endTime":1740.363,"body":"Where did you follow it? Oh,"},{"startTime":1740.363,"endTime":1743.408,"body":"I was in New York,"},{"startTime":1740.363,"endTime":1743.408,"body":"and I'm just talking about it."},{"startTime":1743.575,"endTime":1745.785,"body":"You mean you followed him on the street?"},{"startTime":1745.785,"endTime":1747.912,"body":"He was the Craigslist killer."},{"startTime":1747.912,"endTime":1751.458,"body":"How should I knew this would come around?"},{"startTime":1751.541,"endTime":1752.917,"body":"No, no, I just saw him on the street,"},{"startTime":1752.917,"endTime":1755.92,"body":"and I kind of hated myself for it,"},{"startTime":1752.917,"endTime":1755.92,"body":"but I thought, you know, he's hot."},{"startTime":1755.92,"endTime":1756.921,"body":"I want to follow a little bit."},{"startTime":1756.921,"endTime":1759.007,"body":"So I followed him to village. And."},{"startTime":1759.007,"endTime":1760.8,"body":"You mean you stocked it?"},{"startTime":1760.8,"endTime":1761.468,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1761.468,"endTime":1763.511,"body":"This stock is overrated."},{"startTime":1763.511,"endTime":1765.263,"body":"Okay. Right. Right."},{"startTime":1765.263,"endTime":1766.681,"body":"But he went to a gym."},{"startTime":1766.681,"endTime":1768.308,"body":"I lost him when he went into the gym."},{"startTime":1768.308,"endTime":1770.435,"body":"Oh, yeah, in the village."},{"startTime":1770.435,"endTime":1772.353,"body":"So I lost him for several blocks."},{"startTime":1772.353,"endTime":1772.979,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":1772.979,"endTime":1774.314,"body":"John, you're so."},{"startTime":1774.314,"endTime":1776.608,"body":"You're so cute. I thought you meant."},{"startTime":1776.608,"endTime":1779.319,"body":"Oh, just walk down the street behind him."},{"startTime":1779.319,"endTime":1781.946,"body":"He's cute as fucking. Hell."},{"startTime":1781.946,"endTime":1782.989,"body":"As my man."},{"startTime":1782.989,"endTime":1785.45,"body":"Oh, my God. Well, you know, I was on the."},{"startTime":1785.45,"endTime":1786.785,"body":"I was on the."},{"startTime":1786.785,"endTime":1787.577,"body":"She was not in."},{"startTime":1787.577,"endTime":1793.041,"body":"The movie that I was cut out of one of"},{"startTime":1787.577,"endTime":1793.041,"body":"the movies that was kind of was Anchorman"},{"startTime":1793.124,"endTime":1796.961,"body":"and yeah, I was kind of in the background"},{"startTime":1793.124,"endTime":1796.961,"body":"a little bit, but then I'm in the,"},{"startTime":1797.086,"endTime":1800.924,"body":"I had a scene with Christina Applegate,"},{"startTime":1797.086,"endTime":1800.924,"body":"who's brilliant."},{"startTime":1801.007,"endTime":1804.219,"body":"I was the whole section got"},{"startTime":1804.302,"endTime":1808.223,"body":"became"},{"startTime":1804.302,"endTime":1808.223,"body":"another movie called Wake Up Ron Burgundy."},{"startTime":1808.306,"endTime":1811.351,"body":"So I was in that"},{"startTime":1808.306,"endTime":1811.351,"body":"but I met Paul Rudd on that"},{"startTime":1811.351,"endTime":1815.73,"body":"and he was just really, you know,"},{"startTime":1811.351,"endTime":1815.73,"body":"so handsome and so goddamn funny."},{"startTime":1815.73,"endTime":1818.107,"body":"Yeah. He wasn't funny."},{"startTime":1815.73,"endTime":1818.107,"body":"He was just an actor."},{"startTime":1818.107,"endTime":1820.318,"body":"And even then he was. You know, he was."},{"startTime":1820.318,"endTime":1821.736,"body":"Yeah, he was really funny as an actor."},{"startTime":1821.736,"endTime":1824.531,"body":"I think he was on the Stewart show"},{"startTime":1821.736,"endTime":1824.531,"body":"a lot promoting Clueless and stuff."},{"startTime":1824.531,"endTime":1825.198,"body":"And I remember"},{"startTime":1825.198,"endTime":1829.577,"body":"I would sit at his feet in the green room"},{"startTime":1825.198,"endTime":1829.577,"body":"and he would tell funny stuff."},{"startTime":1829.661,"endTime":1831.496,"body":"Oh, wow."},{"startTime":1831.496,"endTime":1834.666,"body":"The only celebrity ever if I was Angelina,"},{"startTime":1834.749,"endTime":1836.876,"body":"because it was like, You see her,"},{"startTime":1834.749,"endTime":1836.876,"body":"you can't let her go."},{"startTime":1836.876,"endTime":1839.879,"body":"Oh, you object to your birth?"},{"startTime":1839.879,"endTime":1841.047,"body":"I couldn't do it."},{"startTime":1841.047,"endTime":1843.049,"body":"I had a friend. Who was necessarily."},{"startTime":1843.049,"endTime":1845.343,"body":"My friend was not from L.A."},{"startTime":1843.049,"endTime":1845.343,"body":"He was in the shotgun seat."},{"startTime":1845.343,"endTime":1848.429,"body":"I was like, What are we doing?"},{"startTime":1848.513,"endTime":1849.597,"body":"We have to catch you."},{"startTime":1849.597,"endTime":1850.849,"body":"Why did he even ask?"},{"startTime":1850.849,"endTime":1852.684,"body":"I saw her with you."},{"startTime":1852.684,"endTime":1853.268,"body":"If you said."},{"startTime":1853.268,"endTime":1854.811,"body":"Oh, yes, yes. Oh, my God."},{"startTime":1854.811,"endTime":1857.021,"body":"I've seen her in different grocery stores."},{"startTime":1857.021,"endTime":1858.189,"body":"She shops a lot."},{"startTime":1858.189,"endTime":1860.191,"body":"And one time I don't mean No, no, no."},{"startTime":1860.191,"endTime":1864.32,"body":"One time when I saw her,"},{"startTime":1860.191,"endTime":1864.32,"body":"she was kind of looking at some melons."},{"startTime":1864.404,"endTime":1866.03,"body":"Yes, I saw her in a purse."},{"startTime":1866.03,"endTime":1868.074,"body":"Yeah, Like an animal in the wild."},{"startTime":1868.074,"endTime":1869.242,"body":"One of them fell."},{"startTime":1869.242,"endTime":1872.704,"body":"You know that thing where you take one"},{"startTime":1869.242,"endTime":1872.704,"body":"and they started to fall."},{"startTime":1872.787,"endTime":1874.998,"body":"And then in my mind, she fell too."},{"startTime":1874.998,"endTime":1877.584,"body":"But I'm not sure I."},{"startTime":1877.584,"endTime":1879.878,"body":"Oh. Oh."},{"startTime":1879.878,"endTime":1882.797,"body":"She was one of the melons. Yeah."},{"startTime":1882.797,"endTime":1883.256,"body":"Yeah, I."},{"startTime":1883.256,"endTime":1886.759,"body":"Saw her, like, cruising through so fast"},{"startTime":1883.256,"endTime":1886.759,"body":"through the produce."},{"startTime":1886.759,"endTime":1888.511,"body":"I was like,"},{"startTime":1886.759,"endTime":1888.511,"body":"it's like an animal in the wild."},{"startTime":1888.511,"endTime":1890.513,"body":"Did you pick up the melon, The film?"},{"startTime":1890.513,"endTime":1893.433,"body":"No, I got out of there"},{"startTime":1890.513,"endTime":1893.433,"body":"because I was like a celebrity"},{"startTime":1893.433,"endTime":1895.476,"body":"having a horrible moment"},{"startTime":1893.433,"endTime":1895.476,"body":"in her life or something."},{"startTime":1895.476,"endTime":1898.354,"body":"So, yeah, you're very generous"},{"startTime":1895.476,"endTime":1898.354,"body":"with the term celebrity."},{"startTime":1898.354,"endTime":1900.481,"body":"Yeah,"},{"startTime":1900.565,"endTime":1903.109,"body":"because normally celebrities"},{"startTime":1900.565,"endTime":1903.109,"body":"don't sell T-shirts out of their trunk."},{"startTime":1903.109,"endTime":1904.402,"body":"I bought."},{"startTime":1904.402,"endTime":1905.57,"body":"I bought."},{"startTime":1905.57,"endTime":1907.697,"body":"I vote for her every year."},{"startTime":1907.697,"endTime":1908.031,"body":"All right."},{"startTime":1908.031,"endTime":1910.283,"body":"Because she runs for governor. Hmm."},{"startTime":1910.283,"endTime":1913.202,"body":"When she was running for governor,"},{"startTime":1910.283,"endTime":1913.202,"body":"she had, like, merch you could buy."},{"startTime":1913.202,"endTime":1915.538,"body":"Oh, I think it was a cell phone case."},{"startTime":1915.538,"endTime":1918.041,"body":"You were alive, but it was like $100."},{"startTime":1918.041,"endTime":1919.167,"body":"Like her."},{"startTime":1919.167,"endTime":1923.129,"body":"Her price"},{"startTime":1919.167,"endTime":1923.129,"body":"point is so far off, like a $40 tote."},{"startTime":1923.212,"endTime":1924.255,"body":"There we go."},{"startTime":1924.255,"endTime":1926.591,"body":"With, like, iron. On it."},{"startTime":1924.255,"endTime":1926.591,"body":"She's a Hollywood."},{"startTime":1926.591,"endTime":1927.842,"body":"She's still Hollywood."},{"startTime":1927.842,"endTime":1929.928,"body":"She's a Hollywood legend."},{"startTime":1929.928,"endTime":1932.18,"body":"And have you ever met? No."},{"startTime":1932.18,"endTime":1933.181,"body":"I wish I could remember."},{"startTime":1933.181,"endTime":1934.182,"body":"She was for doing nothing."},{"startTime":1934.182,"endTime":1935.934,"body":"She might have been the first for Rihanna."},{"startTime":1935.934,"endTime":1938.269,"body":"Well, what the. Hell does anybody else do?"},{"startTime":1938.269,"endTime":1939.187,"body":"John Canelo."},{"startTime":1939.187,"endTime":1941.147,"body":"But she was kind of ahead of the curve"},{"startTime":1939.187,"endTime":1941.147,"body":"because, yeah,"},{"startTime":1941.147,"endTime":1944.15,"body":"you've got all the kind of like"},{"startTime":1941.147,"endTime":1944.15,"body":"Kardashians and Paris Hilton."},{"startTime":1944.15,"endTime":1944.651,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1944.651,"endTime":1948.905,"body":"Don't"},{"startTime":1944.651,"endTime":1948.905,"body":"do anything in terms of talent, right?"},{"startTime":1948.988,"endTime":1950.698,"body":"Yeah. Yeah. And she."},{"startTime":1950.698,"endTime":1951.491,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1951.491,"endTime":1953.201,"body":"Skip it over like applause or anything."},{"startTime":1953.201,"endTime":1954.41,"body":"They did something."},{"startTime":1954.41,"endTime":1957.121,"body":"Well, are you saying Green Acres?"},{"startTime":1957.121,"endTime":1960.625,"body":"Doesn't matter. You dismissing green"},{"startTime":1960.708,"endTime":1961.96,"body":"law? Well,"},{"startTime":1961.96,"endTime":1965.171,"body":"through a wormhole of Georgia, like,"},{"startTime":1961.96,"endTime":1965.171,"body":"because she."},{"startTime":1965.213,"endTime":1967.131,"body":"I don't know. She's done"},{"startTime":1965.213,"endTime":1967.131,"body":"so many tortures in the eighties."},{"startTime":1967.131,"endTime":1969.092,"body":"Oh. Slap that."},{"startTime":1969.092,"endTime":1971.427,"body":"She was just such a good conversation."},{"startTime":1971.427,"endTime":1972.929,"body":"One of them made a movie."},{"startTime":1972.929,"endTime":1975.306,"body":"I remember when I was a kid. You."},{"startTime":1972.929,"endTime":1975.306,"body":"I think you."},{"startTime":1975.306,"endTime":1976.849,"body":"I don't know, wishes Jar Jar ever."},{"startTime":1976.849,"endTime":1977.392,"body":"And there's another."},{"startTime":1977.392,"endTime":1980.395,"body":"One to I've I've"},{"startTime":1980.478,"endTime":1981.854,"body":"I. Know."},{"startTime":1981.854,"endTime":1984.732,"body":"The third."},{"startTime":1984.732,"endTime":1985.775,"body":"I think."},{"startTime":1985.775,"endTime":1987.193,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1987.193,"endTime":1990.321,"body":"Oh man there's a movie"},{"startTime":1987.193,"endTime":1990.321,"body":"she made called one of them"},{"startTime":1990.321,"endTime":1992.24,"body":"made called Queen of Outer Space."},{"startTime":1992.24,"endTime":1994.409,"body":"Oh wow."},{"startTime":1994.409,"endTime":1996.035,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1996.035,"endTime":1996.786,"body":"Lovely."},{"startTime":1996.786,"endTime":1999.58,"body":"And one line though even as a kid,"},{"startTime":1996.786,"endTime":1999.58,"body":"I thought I got to remember this"},{"startTime":1999.58,"endTime":2003.084,"body":"like she at one point"},{"startTime":1999.58,"endTime":2003.084,"body":"she just says, I hate that queen."},{"startTime":2003.167,"endTime":2006.546,"body":"Oh, fantastic."},{"startTime":2006.629,"endTime":2007.797,"body":"Yeah, that's the best line ever."},{"startTime":2007.797,"endTime":2013.636,"body":"Amazing."},{"startTime":2013.72,"endTime":2016.806,"body":"are y'all ever star struck like"},{"startTime":2013.72,"endTime":2016.806,"body":"when you meet like Debbie, Harry's a huge."},{"startTime":2016.931,"endTime":2019.183,"body":"First time Debbie, my knees gave out."},{"startTime":2019.183,"endTime":2021.227,"body":"Oh, they really did."},{"startTime":2021.227,"endTime":2021.769,"body":"I walked over."},{"startTime":2021.769,"endTime":2024.731,"body":"I just sort of said"},{"startTime":2021.769,"endTime":2024.731,"body":"hello and, you know, blah, blah, blah."},{"startTime":2024.731,"endTime":2028.693,"body":"And then I turned and walked away"},{"startTime":2024.731,"endTime":2028.693,"body":"and I got about 100 feet away from her."},{"startTime":2028.901,"endTime":2031.904,"body":"And my knees. Kind of, uh."},{"startTime":2032.113,"endTime":2035.658,"body":"We we went saw Blondie recently"},{"startTime":2035.742,"endTime":2038.745,"body":"up at a casino in Seattle."},{"startTime":2038.745,"endTime":2039.871,"body":"Oh, wow."},{"startTime":2039.871,"endTime":2044.25,"body":"And I said something so stupid to her,"},{"startTime":2039.871,"endTime":2044.25,"body":"like, I was thrilled to meet her. She."},{"startTime":2044.292,"endTime":2046.669,"body":"She was a celebrity"},{"startTime":2044.292,"endTime":2046.669,"body":"that was like, Oh, my God."},{"startTime":2046.669,"endTime":2048.046,"body":"You know, back in the day, Oh, my God."},{"startTime":2048.046,"endTime":2050.757,"body":"I think maybe you introduce me. In fact,"},{"startTime":2048.046,"endTime":2050.757,"body":"I met."},{"startTime":2050.757,"endTime":2054.677,"body":"No, I was working at"},{"startTime":2050.757,"endTime":2054.677,"body":"Barney's in Chelsea. Hmm."},{"startTime":2054.761,"endTime":2058.473,"body":"She did a show there, like,"},{"startTime":2054.761,"endTime":2058.473,"body":"I think in the basement there was a stage"},{"startTime":2058.556,"endTime":2060.975,"body":"and we found out he was there."},{"startTime":2060.975,"endTime":2062.977,"body":"He was sitting down,"},{"startTime":2060.975,"endTime":2062.977,"body":"and I was working there."},{"startTime":2062.977,"endTime":2066.481,"body":"I snuck down to watch her first set,"},{"startTime":2062.977,"endTime":2066.481,"body":"and that's the"},{"startTime":2066.564,"endTime":2070.86,"body":"So I remember somebody"},{"startTime":2066.564,"endTime":2070.86,"body":"sitting at her feet now."},{"startTime":2070.943,"endTime":2073.237,"body":"Ha. In my mind."},{"startTime":2073.237,"endTime":2076.115,"body":"You know, I, I was sitting."},{"startTime":2076.115,"endTime":2077.033,"body":"Yeah, I know."},{"startTime":2077.033,"endTime":2080.995,"body":"I was, I was starstruck by, another comic"},{"startTime":2077.033,"endTime":2080.995,"body":"which is Jimmy Kimmel."},{"startTime":2080.995,"endTime":2085.541,"body":"And I remember and I, I,"},{"startTime":2080.995,"endTime":2085.541,"body":"I know I kind of met him"},{"startTime":2085.541,"endTime":2087.335,"body":"briefly and I said something so stupid"},{"startTime":2087.335,"endTime":2089.504,"body":"the last time I saw him,"},{"startTime":2087.335,"endTime":2089.504,"body":"I just didn't expect to see him."},{"startTime":2089.504,"endTime":2092.173,"body":"I was like I just got from"},{"startTime":2089.504,"endTime":2092.173,"body":"my mom loves you so much."},{"startTime":2092.173,"endTime":2093.966,"body":"And he said, Thank you."},{"startTime":2093.966,"endTime":2095.51,"body":"Then I was like, How stupid."},{"startTime":2095.51,"endTime":2096.803,"body":"And my mom has good taste."},{"startTime":2096.803,"endTime":2101.641,"body":"Actually, she knows he's funny, but I"},{"startTime":2096.803,"endTime":2101.641,"body":"thought that was such a dumb thing to say."},{"startTime":2101.724,"endTime":2102.85,"body":"We also dumb things."},{"startTime":2102.85,"endTime":2106.395,"body":"I just said something dumb to Debbie"},{"startTime":2102.85,"endTime":2106.395,"body":"at that same show."},{"startTime":2106.395,"endTime":2107.73,"body":"I was like, I don't know."},{"startTime":2107.73,"endTime":2109.107,"body":"I was like, We were in the dressing room"},{"startTime":2109.107,"endTime":2112.944,"body":"chatting and I felt very chatty"},{"startTime":2109.107,"endTime":2112.944,"body":"and I wanted her to like me always do."},{"startTime":2113.027,"endTime":2113.528,"body":"I know."},{"startTime":2113.528,"endTime":2117.198,"body":"But I can't stop getting her to like me"},{"startTime":2113.528,"endTime":2117.198,"body":"more."},{"startTime":2117.24,"endTime":2119.2,"body":"Ha ha ha ha ha."},{"startTime":2119.2,"endTime":2120.451,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2120.451,"endTime":2123.246,"body":"I said, Oh,"},{"startTime":2120.451,"endTime":2123.246,"body":"we were talking about squeezebox"},{"startTime":2123.246,"endTime":2127.792,"body":"to bring us back to squeezebox"},{"startTime":2123.246,"endTime":2127.792,"body":"and rock and roll the gay bar, basically."},{"startTime":2127.834,"endTime":2132.463,"body":"And I said to her, and this is true,"},{"startTime":2127.834,"endTime":2132.463,"body":"but I should have said that I,"},{"startTime":2132.63,"endTime":2137.009,"body":"I was watching her perform one night there"},{"startTime":2132.63,"endTime":2137.009,"body":"and I took off my boxer shorts."},{"startTime":2137.009,"endTime":2141.097,"body":"Like I just ripped them off, like,"},{"startTime":2137.009,"endTime":2141.097,"body":"kind of took it out of my sleeve."},{"startTime":2141.18,"endTime":2145.268,"body":"I threw the matter and I remember her"},{"startTime":2141.18,"endTime":2145.268,"body":"commenting on them like that."},{"startTime":2145.268,"endTime":2147.145,"body":"She couldn't leave something"},{"startTime":2145.268,"endTime":2147.145,"body":"through the boxes, but she didn't."},{"startTime":2147.145,"endTime":2148.02,"body":"She laughed or something."},{"startTime":2148.02,"endTime":2150.69,"body":"And I told her that in Seattle"},{"startTime":2148.02,"endTime":2150.69,"body":"when we saw her"},{"startTime":2150.69,"endTime":2153.484,"body":"and she didn't really give me a great"},{"startTime":2150.69,"endTime":2153.484,"body":"but she didn't laugh or anything"},{"startTime":2153.484,"endTime":2155.611,"body":"because I wish I never said that. Yeah."},{"startTime":2155.611,"endTime":2159.532,"body":"Oh, that's Louis, you know."},{"startTime":2159.615,"endTime":2160.199,"body":"A back."},{"startTime":2160.199,"endTime":2163.953,"body":"And it's kind of like she's Tom Jones"},{"startTime":2160.199,"endTime":2163.953,"body":"and people are throwing her underwear on."},{"startTime":2163.953,"endTime":2167.498,"body":"Stage behind my doing that. Yeah."},{"startTime":2167.582,"endTime":2170.877,"body":"Shitfaced on a lot of drugs. And"},{"startTime":2170.96,"endTime":2172.295,"body":"look, we're all just people."},{"startTime":2172.295,"endTime":2175.298,"body":"We all put our bras on one leg at a time."},{"startTime":2175.339,"endTime":2178.801,"body":"We'll look Ronnie Spector, the airport."},{"startTime":2179.051,"endTime":2181.637,"body":"Oh, my God, that's random."},{"startTime":2179.051,"endTime":2181.637,"body":"It's super random."},{"startTime":2181.637,"endTime":2182.889,"body":"But I lost my mind."},{"startTime":2182.889,"endTime":2185.266,"body":"It was in Austin flying to L.A., Right."},{"startTime":2185.266,"endTime":2188.186,"body":"And it was ashes coming in"},{"startTime":2185.266,"endTime":2188.186,"body":"or in the airport."},{"startTime":2188.186,"endTime":2190.229,"body":"You know, the doors slide open. Mm hmm."},{"startTime":2190.229,"endTime":2191.856,"body":"Another set of doors that slide open."},{"startTime":2191.856,"endTime":2194.775,"body":"But in the middle, there's the two glass"},{"startTime":2191.856,"endTime":2194.775,"body":"things that don't slide at all."},{"startTime":2194.775,"endTime":2197.778,"body":"Ronnie Spector was standing"},{"startTime":2194.775,"endTime":2197.778,"body":"at those waiting for that to slide open,"},{"startTime":2197.778,"endTime":2200.406,"body":"and the other two were going"},{"startTime":2197.778,"endTime":2200.406,"body":"open. Close over comes over."},{"startTime":2200.406,"endTime":2201.824,"body":"And I'm like, Who is this old woman?"},{"startTime":2201.824,"endTime":2203.951,"body":"And I just turn like,"},{"startTime":2201.824,"endTime":2203.951,"body":"I come around and see your face."},{"startTime":2203.951,"endTime":2205.536,"body":"I'm like,"},{"startTime":2203.951,"endTime":2205.536,"body":"Oh my fucking God, it's Ronnie Spector."},{"startTime":2205.536,"endTime":2206.829,"body":"Well, God bless you. For doing this."},{"startTime":2206.829,"endTime":2208.706,"body":"Oh, I know, Ronnie. You're just a baby."},{"startTime":2208.706,"endTime":2211.334,"body":"I couldn't believe it."},{"startTime":2208.706,"endTime":2211.334,"body":"And so I knew I could see."},{"startTime":2211.334,"endTime":2211.876,"body":"I looked"},{"startTime":2211.876,"endTime":2214.003,"body":"and there was a car"},{"startTime":2211.876,"endTime":2214.003,"body":"that looked like a big SUV"},{"startTime":2214.003,"endTime":2216.964,"body":"with people's like, okay,"},{"startTime":2214.003,"endTime":2216.964,"body":"I probably have 40 seconds. Right?"},{"startTime":2216.964,"endTime":2218.216,"body":"So I was ironic."},{"startTime":2218.216,"endTime":2220.176,"body":"I had the perfect interaction with her."},{"startTime":2220.176,"endTime":2222.053,"body":"Like I told her I loved her"},{"startTime":2220.176,"endTime":2222.053,"body":"Christmas music."},{"startTime":2222.053,"endTime":2223.346,"body":"I told her she's a goddess."},{"startTime":2223.346,"endTime":2227.266,"body":"She told me, I love. You, baby. Are like,"},{"startTime":2227.35,"endTime":2228.976,"body":"Sure, everything was perfect."},{"startTime":2228.976,"endTime":2230.228,"body":"And I was like, okay, thank you so much."},{"startTime":2230.228,"endTime":2233.689,"body":"And I left right not to overstaying"},{"startTime":2230.228,"endTime":2233.689,"body":"my welcome or be a psycho, right?"},{"startTime":2233.689,"endTime":2237.235,"body":"But then Austin's a small airport"},{"startTime":2233.689,"endTime":2237.235,"body":"and there's really just one flight to L.A."},{"startTime":2237.235,"endTime":2240.112,"body":"So then and security."},{"startTime":2240.112,"endTime":2242.198,"body":"Oh, I mean,"},{"startTime":2242.198,"endTime":2245.66,"body":"I were waiting for the 500."},{"startTime":2245.66,"endTime":2246.244,"body":"It's too late."},{"startTime":2246.244,"endTime":2248.037,"body":"So we're all kind of in the same"},{"startTime":2246.244,"endTime":2248.037,"body":"lobby area."},{"startTime":2248.037,"endTime":2249.664,"body":"I'm, like, sitting near her."},{"startTime":2249.664,"endTime":2249.956,"body":"And then."},{"startTime":2249.956,"endTime":2256.545,"body":"You're back at her hotel with her, like,"},{"startTime":2249.956,"endTime":2256.545,"body":"Oh, God damn. It!"},{"startTime":2256.629,"endTime":2259.423,"body":"Finally, you land LAX, and she's longer."},{"startTime":2259.423,"endTime":2261.259,"body":"She's in first class."},{"startTime":2259.423,"endTime":2261.259,"body":"And so I'm getting off the plane."},{"startTime":2261.259,"endTime":2264.345,"body":"It's that weird lower level"},{"startTime":2261.259,"endTime":2264.345,"body":"of where you're coming out of the airport"},{"startTime":2264.345,"endTime":2266.389,"body":"and she's coming"},{"startTime":2264.345,"endTime":2266.389,"body":"one way and I'm coming the other."},{"startTime":2266.389,"endTime":2268.099,"body":"And this is like the sixth interaction."},{"startTime":2268.099,"endTime":2272.436,"body":"And I'm actually not looking at her"},{"startTime":2268.099,"endTime":2272.436,"body":"because I'm like, I can't."},{"startTime":2272.52,"endTime":2272.77,"body":"Find."},{"startTime":2272.77,"endTime":2275.731,"body":"That as the time she goes, she goes,"},{"startTime":2272.77,"endTime":2275.731,"body":"I love you, baby."},{"startTime":2275.731,"endTime":2276.816,"body":"And said."},{"startTime":2276.816,"endTime":2280.361,"body":"Oh. That's so sweet."},{"startTime":2280.403,"endTime":2283.99,"body":"I have this image of her in front of that"},{"startTime":2280.403,"endTime":2283.99,"body":"glass and it's not moving."},{"startTime":2284.073,"endTime":2286.742,"body":"And by the time she realizes that,"},{"startTime":2284.073,"endTime":2286.742,"body":"she's like"},{"startTime":2286.742,"endTime":2291.038,"body":"she had to commit."},{"startTime":2291.122,"endTime":2292.081,"body":"Senior to it."},{"startTime":2292.081,"endTime":2293.958,"body":"Okay? Right."},{"startTime":2293.958,"endTime":2294.5,"body":"It's like."},{"startTime":2294.5,"endTime":2298.004,"body":"Look, I'm going to I'm going"},{"startTime":2294.5,"endTime":2298.004,"body":"to just face my aggressor."},{"startTime":2298.087,"endTime":2300.506,"body":"Because my. Friend dropped me off"},{"startTime":2298.087,"endTime":2300.506,"body":"and you could see her."},{"startTime":2300.506,"endTime":2301.215,"body":"And my friend goes,"},{"startTime":2301.215,"endTime":2304.844,"body":"I hope Joan Jett's on your flight because"},{"startTime":2301.215,"endTime":2304.844,"body":"she was just this long hair from behind."},{"startTime":2305.011,"endTime":2308.472,"body":"Oh. She was dressed. Well."},{"startTime":2308.556,"endTime":2309.849,"body":"Like a somebody."},{"startTime":2309.849,"endTime":2312.268,"body":"to bring it back to the probably"},{"startTime":2309.849,"endTime":2312.268,"body":"one of the best"},{"startTime":2312.268,"endTime":2315.271,"body":"shows on on cable, the minor"},{"startTime":2312.268,"endTime":2315.271,"body":"accomplishments of Jackie Webber,"},{"startTime":2315.313,"endTime":2318.232,"body":"I thought there'd be no way"},{"startTime":2318.232,"endTime":2321.902,"body":"to get Ray Wise or too wise."},{"startTime":2321.986,"endTime":2324.78,"body":"Yes. And he's because he's"},{"startTime":2321.986,"endTime":2324.78,"body":"such an amazing actor."},{"startTime":2324.78,"endTime":2328.701,"body":"And and I also thought"},{"startTime":2324.78,"endTime":2328.701,"body":"Mary Kay Place would be out of reach."},{"startTime":2328.701,"endTime":2330.703,"body":"And we got them both."},{"startTime":2330.703,"endTime":2336.834,"body":"Ray Wise was so goddamn funny,"},{"startTime":2330.703,"endTime":2336.834,"body":"and so is Mary Kay is my mom. And."},{"startTime":2336.917,"endTime":2338.419,"body":"And she was in this movie."},{"startTime":2338.419,"endTime":2342.048,"body":"I want to I want to actually get her"},{"startTime":2338.419,"endTime":2342.048,"body":"on the podcast, who called Diane."},{"startTime":2342.089,"endTime":2344.425,"body":"And it was phenomenal."},{"startTime":2344.425,"endTime":2346.51,"body":"She Yeah. And it came out less."},{"startTime":2346.51,"endTime":2347.887,"body":"Yeah, she's phenomenal."},{"startTime":2347.887,"endTime":2351.182,"body":"And, and she was also amazing on Big Love."},{"startTime":2351.223,"endTime":2352.975,"body":"Do you remember that on HBO?"},{"startTime":2352.975,"endTime":2355.478,"body":"Some saw that. The Sister. Wives. Yeah,"},{"startTime":2352.975,"endTime":2355.478,"body":"yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":2355.478,"endTime":2358.314,"body":"What about. Yeah. Wife kill Laura. Palmer."},{"startTime":2358.314,"endTime":2362.735,"body":"I think because of those movies I fell in"},{"startTime":2358.314,"endTime":2362.735,"body":"love with him even though it's creepy."},{"startTime":2362.735,"endTime":2363.778,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":2363.778,"endTime":2367.49,"body":"And also it was funny"},{"startTime":2363.778,"endTime":2367.49,"body":"because a friend of ours, Jeremy Kramer,"},{"startTime":2367.74,"endTime":2370.409,"body":"was on set"},{"startTime":2367.74,"endTime":2370.409,"body":"and we were just talking about stuff,"},{"startTime":2370.409,"endTime":2374.58,"body":"and he knew that I had kind of a crush"},{"startTime":2370.409,"endTime":2374.58,"body":"on Ray Wise He said he'd been Transylvania"},{"startTime":2374.663,"endTime":2377.833,"body":"and he said, Laura,"},{"startTime":2374.663,"endTime":2377.833,"body":"do you know that you can buy"},{"startTime":2377.833,"endTime":2381.42,"body":"a castle in Transformania for $13,000?"},{"startTime":2381.504,"endTime":2389.97,"body":"And then Jeremy"},{"startTime":2381.504,"endTime":2389.97,"body":"says, Laura, do you want to live forever?"},{"startTime":2390.054,"endTime":2393.432,"body":"Playing into the scary rewind factor."},{"startTime":2393.516,"endTime":2396.018,"body":"I don't. Do that. Eric called me."},{"startTime":2396.018,"endTime":2397.728,"body":"Oh, she did?"},{"startTime":2397.728,"endTime":2399.939,"body":"Cause she directed your episode."},{"startTime":2399.939,"endTime":2401.065,"body":"I don't know if I ever tell it."},{"startTime":2401.065,"endTime":2402.233,"body":"She Oh yeah."},{"startTime":2402.233,"endTime":2404.944,"body":"She called and left message on our"},{"startTime":2402.233,"endTime":2404.944,"body":"our answering machine."},{"startTime":2404.944,"endTime":2406.278,"body":"That's how long ago. And."},{"startTime":2406.278,"endTime":2408.072,"body":"And tell me how good."},{"startTime":2408.072,"endTime":2410.241,"body":"Oh, you're phenomenal, isn't she?"},{"startTime":2410.241,"endTime":2412.743,"body":"But you're great, too. I know,"},{"startTime":2410.241,"endTime":2412.743,"body":"but you're so good."},{"startTime":2412.743,"endTime":2414.995,"body":"Did you. Save them?"},{"startTime":2412.743,"endTime":2414.995,"body":"I did. I mean, it's similar."},{"startTime":2414.995,"endTime":2416.038,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":2416.038,"endTime":2417.998,"body":"We have to get her back messages."},{"startTime":2417.998,"endTime":2419.417,"body":"You're on quite a few."},{"startTime":2419.417,"endTime":2422.211,"body":"Oh, I still want to. I'm It is on Amazon."},{"startTime":2422.211,"endTime":2423.671,"body":"The main accomplishment is a jacket,"},{"startTime":2423.671,"endTime":2427.55,"body":"but I haven't given up hope on getting"},{"startTime":2423.671,"endTime":2427.55,"body":"it rebooted because I own the rights."},{"startTime":2427.55,"endTime":2430.01,"body":"So maybe get sponsored by your own show."},{"startTime":2430.01,"endTime":2431.429,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":2431.429,"endTime":2434.974,"body":"I haven't seen it"},{"startTime":2431.429,"endTime":2434.974,"body":"go out and work and they watch Amazon."},{"startTime":2435.057,"endTime":2441.063,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":2441.147,"endTime":2443.19,"body":"I met Doris Day on her 90th birthday."},{"startTime":2443.19,"endTime":2448.446,"body":"Wild that's the celebrity that I met where"},{"startTime":2443.19,"endTime":2448.446,"body":"I thought I was going to shit my film."},{"startTime":2448.487,"endTime":2449.238,"body":"I bet."},{"startTime":2449.238,"endTime":2450.781,"body":"I cried."},{"startTime":2450.781,"endTime":2454.41,"body":"Oh, birthday party You imagine ish."},{"startTime":2454.41,"endTime":2458.33,"body":"I mean, there was no room"},{"startTime":2454.41,"endTime":2458.33,"body":"with that kind of, uh, but I did."},{"startTime":2458.414,"endTime":2462.668,"body":"We went to her birthday party,"},{"startTime":2458.414,"endTime":2462.668,"body":"and she they famously she's got fans,"},{"startTime":2462.668,"endTime":2466.088,"body":"obsessive fans, and we flew in from"},{"startTime":2462.668,"endTime":2466.088,"body":"they fly in from all over the world."},{"startTime":2466.088,"endTime":2468.507,"body":"Let's go to this birthday party"},{"startTime":2466.088,"endTime":2468.507,"body":"every year."},{"startTime":2468.507,"endTime":2469.258,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":2469.258,"endTime":2472.887,"body":"In at the Quail Lodge in Carmel. Oh."},{"startTime":2472.97,"endTime":2473.721,"body":"Why is that?"},{"startTime":2473.721,"endTime":2474.805,"body":"What do you mean?"},{"startTime":2474.805,"endTime":2477.224,"body":"You mean it's golf and lesbians?"},{"startTime":2477.224,"endTime":2479.059,"body":"No, that's the Dinah Shore."},{"startTime":2479.059,"endTime":2480.686,"body":"And it's golf. It's a golf. Course."},{"startTime":2480.686,"endTime":2482.062,"body":"Oh, but isn't she?"},{"startTime":2482.062,"endTime":2482.605,"body":"You're right."},{"startTime":2482.605,"endTime":2484.607,"body":"It is Dinah Shore. Or is it? Both?"},{"startTime":2484.607,"endTime":2486.901,"body":"Isn't there? Isn't there?"},{"startTime":2486.984,"endTime":2487.359,"body":"It isn't."},{"startTime":2487.359,"endTime":2489.862,"body":"Doris Day. No, I'm sorry. You're right."},{"startTime":2487.359,"endTime":2489.862,"body":"It's Dinah Shore. I'm sorry."},{"startTime":2489.862,"endTime":2492.156,"body":"Right in Palm Springs. Mm hmm."},{"startTime":2492.156,"endTime":2493.699,"body":"That's Diana. Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":2493.699,"endTime":2494.366,"body":"But there's golf."},{"startTime":2494.366,"endTime":2496.911,"body":"I mean that she loved all of the golf"},{"startTime":2494.366,"endTime":2496.911,"body":"course."},{"startTime":2496.911,"endTime":2500.706,"body":"See, I've just lost the game man test"},{"startTime":2496.911,"endTime":2500.706,"body":"just now."},{"startTime":2500.748,"endTime":2502.124,"body":"I'm sorry. Please go ahead."},{"startTime":2502.124,"endTime":2503.209,"body":"So she, um."},{"startTime":2503.209,"endTime":2505.377,"body":"So we went"},{"startTime":2505.377,"endTime":2507.88,"body":"to her birthday party, you know,"},{"startTime":2505.377,"endTime":2507.88,"body":"and she wasn't going to be there."},{"startTime":2507.88,"endTime":2510.424,"body":"Well, yeah, it was a fundraiser for her"},{"startTime":2507.88,"endTime":2510.424,"body":"animal charity."},{"startTime":2510.424,"endTime":2512.51,"body":"Yeah. Oh, a movie of hers."},{"startTime":2512.51,"endTime":2515.387,"body":"And you sit there and watch it"},{"startTime":2512.51,"endTime":2515.387,"body":"go with her crazy fan."},{"startTime":2515.387,"endTime":2517.431,"body":"Well,"},{"startTime":2515.387,"endTime":2517.431,"body":"she wasn't going to be there. She was."},{"startTime":2517.431,"endTime":2519.266,"body":"Oh, she never goes to this country."},{"startTime":2519.266,"endTime":2520.392,"body":"So we were sitting at a table."},{"startTime":2520.392,"endTime":2522.686,"body":"We got the worst shitty table"},{"startTime":2520.392,"endTime":2522.686,"body":"by the kitchen. Kitchen."},{"startTime":2522.686,"endTime":2526.941,"body":"So we're sitting there at the round table"},{"startTime":2522.686,"endTime":2526.941,"body":"with all these weirdos and"},{"startTime":2527.024,"endTime":2531.445,"body":"ha. Let's hear their side of the story."},{"startTime":2531.487,"endTime":2535.824,"body":"All the words that I saw,"},{"startTime":2535.908,"endTime":2538.369,"body":"like,"},{"startTime":2538.369,"endTime":2541.455,"body":"okay, I used that because we were"},{"startTime":2538.369,"endTime":2541.455,"body":"at a table near the kitchen."},{"startTime":2541.622,"endTime":2545.459,"body":"Wait, I don't love men as much as you guys"},{"startTime":2541.622,"endTime":2545.459,"body":"Go on."},{"startTime":2545.543,"endTime":2547.169,"body":"The doors open, the kitchen doors"},{"startTime":2547.169,"endTime":2550.172,"body":"opened, and I was only watching"},{"startTime":2547.169,"endTime":2550.172,"body":"as I was facing the door."},{"startTime":2550.339,"endTime":2554.301,"body":"And this little old lady, the shrunken"},{"startTime":2550.339,"endTime":2554.301,"body":"head of a lady that looked just like Doris"},{"startTime":2554.301,"endTime":2558.055,"body":"Day comes out with this man"},{"startTime":2554.301,"endTime":2558.055,"body":"supporting a security guy, supporting her."},{"startTime":2558.264,"endTime":2560.724,"body":"And I thought, holy shit,"},{"startTime":2558.264,"endTime":2560.724,"body":"I think that's Doris Day."},{"startTime":2560.724,"endTime":2561.934,"body":"And I told Chris that."},{"startTime":2561.934,"endTime":2565.604,"body":"And as soon as I took Chris,"},{"startTime":2561.934,"endTime":2565.604,"body":"our whole table trashed and it's wild."},{"startTime":2565.688,"endTime":2566.814,"body":"Oh, now."},{"startTime":2566.814,"endTime":2570.317,"body":"The whole room just erupted"},{"startTime":2566.814,"endTime":2570.317,"body":"and they circled around her like,"},{"startTime":2570.484,"endTime":2572.194,"body":"But I made sure I saw her first."},{"startTime":2572.194,"endTime":2575.489,"body":"I kind of grabbed you on it,"},{"startTime":2572.194,"endTime":2575.489,"body":"pushed you to go to go near her"},{"startTime":2575.573,"endTime":2579.535,"body":"and everyone swarmed around her and Chris"},{"startTime":2575.573,"endTime":2579.535,"body":"got close to her and it was pandemonium."},{"startTime":2579.535,"endTime":2583.747,"body":"And this 90 something year old woman"},{"startTime":2579.535,"endTime":2583.747,"body":"had people like like was a rock star."},{"startTime":2583.789,"endTime":2584.915,"body":"People were swarming around her."},{"startTime":2584.915,"endTime":2587.042,"body":"And the security started saying,"},{"startTime":2584.915,"endTime":2587.042,"body":"please leave her alone."},{"startTime":2587.042,"endTime":2588.335,"body":"No pictures, no pictures."},{"startTime":2588.335,"endTime":2590.796,"body":"But I wasn't going to have that because"},{"startTime":2588.335,"endTime":2590.796,"body":"it's a fucking once in a lifetime thing."},{"startTime":2590.796,"endTime":2595.175,"body":"So I started taking pictures of"},{"startTime":2590.796,"endTime":2595.175,"body":"and Chris snuck behind her and leaned up"},{"startTime":2595.259,"endTime":2600.097,"body":"and I took pictures and a security guard"},{"startTime":2595.259,"endTime":2600.097,"body":"was kind of pushing me away, but."},{"startTime":2600.097,"endTime":2601.015,"body":"And I felt terrible."},{"startTime":2601.015,"endTime":2606.312,"body":"This is a 100 year old woman story"},{"startTime":2601.015,"endTime":2606.312,"body":"about especially adult Ed, I guess I know."},{"startTime":2606.395,"endTime":2608.439,"body":"You killed Doris Day."},{"startTime":2608.439,"endTime":2611.275,"body":"It's I did not. But"},{"startTime":2611.358,"endTime":2614.361,"body":"just another random weird thing is Peter"},{"startTime":2611.358,"endTime":2614.361,"body":"Marshall hosted that."},{"startTime":2614.403,"endTime":2616.905,"body":"Oh, wow."},{"startTime":2616.905,"endTime":2619.408,"body":"He's saying he was a he was fucking good."},{"startTime":2619.408,"endTime":2622.161,"body":"Like I was like a pure Marshall Center"},{"startTime":2619.408,"endTime":2622.161,"body":"square whatever."},{"startTime":2622.161,"endTime":2623.996,"body":"You know."},{"startTime":2623.996,"endTime":2626.165,"body":"He he hosted it. Yeah."},{"startTime":2626.165,"endTime":2627.291,"body":"He was great."},{"startTime":2627.291,"endTime":2630.169,"body":"He was funny and he could sing."},{"startTime":2627.291,"endTime":2630.169,"body":"And we were like, he was stuck."},{"startTime":2630.169,"endTime":2631.587,"body":"It was awesome."},{"startTime":2631.587,"endTime":2632.171,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2632.171,"endTime":2635.633,"body":"I got to tell her"},{"startTime":2632.171,"endTime":2635.633,"body":"how much my mom loved her,"},{"startTime":2635.633,"endTime":2638.886,"body":"and she put her hand on my arm"},{"startTime":2635.633,"endTime":2638.886,"body":"and I just thought I was going to die."},{"startTime":2638.886,"endTime":2641.263,"body":"And, uh, she was lovely."},{"startTime":2641.263,"endTime":2641.597,"body":"See what?"},{"startTime":2641.597,"endTime":2644.683,"body":"Jimmy Kimmel didn't do that to me"},{"startTime":2641.597,"endTime":2644.683,"body":"when I said my mom loved him."},{"startTime":2644.892,"endTime":2647.936,"body":"Yeah, And I guess, I mean,"},{"startTime":2644.892,"endTime":2647.936,"body":"I love him to by whatever."},{"startTime":2648.062,"endTime":2651.023,"body":"Reminds me of."},{"startTime":2648.062,"endTime":2651.023,"body":"Can I just. Yeah. Yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":2651.273,"endTime":2654.193,"body":"When Laura and I worked on Will and Grace,"},{"startTime":2651.273,"endTime":2654.193,"body":"like, decades"},{"startTime":2654.193,"endTime":2655.819,"body":"and decades ago, 100 years ago."},{"startTime":2655.819,"endTime":2657.404,"body":"So not really."},{"startTime":2657.404,"endTime":2658.697,"body":"Jan 2019."},{"startTime":2658.697,"endTime":2661.408,"body":"Oh, yes. We were,"},{"startTime":2658.697,"endTime":2661.408,"body":"because we were on the OC."},{"startTime":2661.408,"endTime":2662.451,"body":"Reboot, right? Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":2662.451,"endTime":2663.41,"body":"But that."},{"startTime":2663.41,"endTime":2666.08,"body":"So now are you hearing this people say"},{"startTime":2666.08,"endTime":2669.375,"body":"when they when they heard"},{"startTime":2666.08,"endTime":2669.375,"body":"you wrote for that show or on the show"},{"startTime":2669.458,"endTime":2673.212,"body":"whatever they used to be, I love that show"},{"startTime":2669.458,"endTime":2673.212,"body":"and that it was my parents."},{"startTime":2673.212,"endTime":2674.38,"body":"My mother loves that show."},{"startTime":2674.38,"endTime":2676.632,"body":"And I recently got my grandmother."},{"startTime":2676.632,"endTime":2679.093,"body":"Oh, no. I got that."},{"startTime":2679.093,"endTime":2680.427,"body":"And I was like, Well."},{"startTime":2680.427,"endTime":2682.429,"body":"It was it was a gateway show."},{"startTime":2682.429,"endTime":2685.182,"body":"It was like the grandma could love again."},{"startTime":2685.182,"endTime":2687.601,"body":"That's how I came out"},{"startTime":2685.182,"endTime":2687.601,"body":"to my parents. Shut up."},{"startTime":2687.601,"endTime":2688.268,"body":"Are you serious?"},{"startTime":2688.268,"endTime":2689.269,"body":"Yeah. Wow."},{"startTime":2689.269,"endTime":2689.77,"body":"I was like,"},{"startTime":2689.77,"endTime":2693.607,"body":"you know, Jack, I said, half the shit"},{"startTime":2689.77,"endTime":2693.607,"body":"that he says is stuff that I have said."},{"startTime":2693.732,"endTime":2695.317,"body":"Oh, you still stole from me."},{"startTime":2695.317,"endTime":2697.444,"body":"Oh, oh. Oh."},{"startTime":2697.444,"endTime":2698.779,"body":"But where did you."},{"startTime":2698.779,"endTime":2700.489,"body":"Wow. So then."},{"startTime":2700.489,"endTime":2701.448,"body":"The show so much that they were."},{"startTime":2701.448,"endTime":2704.368,"body":"Like, So when you met John, could you"},{"startTime":2701.448,"endTime":2704.368,"body":"you were probably shocked."},{"startTime":2704.368,"endTime":2708.08,"body":"Like, did you guys meet"},{"startTime":2704.368,"endTime":2708.08,"body":"when John was writing for the show?"},{"startTime":2708.163,"endTime":2711.166,"body":"Just. Oh my God, I'm so old. I can't."},{"startTime":2711.25,"endTime":2712.084,"body":"Oh, wait."},{"startTime":2712.084,"endTime":2714.253,"body":"I thought that that I was that."},{"startTime":2714.253,"endTime":2715.713,"body":"That's why I was."},{"startTime":2715.713,"endTime":2716.38,"body":"Wait a second."},{"startTime":2716.38,"endTime":2718.59,"body":"I thought I was the second person"},{"startTime":2716.38,"endTime":2718.59,"body":"to introduce you."},{"startTime":2718.59,"endTime":2720.342,"body":"The same time you swear."},{"startTime":2720.342,"endTime":2722.594,"body":"You just said, Yeah,"},{"startTime":2720.342,"endTime":2722.594,"body":"and we're escorted away."},{"startTime":2722.594,"endTime":2724.43,"body":"And so, yeah, I"},{"startTime":2724.513,"endTime":2724.888,"body":"know."},{"startTime":2724.888,"endTime":2727.307,"body":"They were both like,"},{"startTime":2724.888,"endTime":2727.307,"body":"there's this guy was coming out to L.A."},{"startTime":2727.307,"endTime":2731.228,"body":"from New York for work, and Laura"},{"startTime":2727.307,"endTime":2731.228,"body":"and then my friend Blair Fell,"},{"startTime":2731.228,"endTime":2732.479,"body":"who's a great writer."},{"startTime":2732.479,"endTime":2734.732,"body":"Blair who don't know each other."},{"startTime":2734.732,"endTime":2736.692,"body":"You guys don't know what I'm saying?"},{"startTime":2736.692,"endTime":2738.152,"body":"There's this guy you've got to meet."},{"startTime":2738.152,"endTime":2741.739,"body":"And I didn't realize until I met him"},{"startTime":2738.152,"endTime":2741.739,"body":"that it was the same person."},{"startTime":2741.822,"endTime":2744.366,"body":"Yeah. Huh?"},{"startTime":2744.366,"endTime":2745.451,"body":"That's right."},{"startTime":2745.451,"endTime":2747.161,"body":"It has been all downhill ever."},{"startTime":2747.161,"endTime":2752.207,"body":"I think in Star Struck like Will"},{"startTime":2747.161,"endTime":2752.207,"body":"and Grace, your share of Madonna."},{"startTime":2752.207,"endTime":2755.836,"body":"And I as we had shared on it,"},{"startTime":2752.207,"endTime":2755.836,"body":"we all snuck into Cher's trailer"},{"startTime":2755.919,"endTime":2758.338,"body":"before she tried on this. The wig trailer."},{"startTime":2758.338,"endTime":2758.922,"body":"Wait a minute."},{"startTime":2758.922,"endTime":2761.425,"body":"I was kicked out of Cher's wig trailer."},{"startTime":2761.425,"endTime":2762.718,"body":"Did you know that?"},{"startTime":2762.718,"endTime":2765.053,"body":"No. Well, yeah, it was my off."},{"startTime":2765.053,"endTime":2769.516,"body":"No, I had no, I was on the show"},{"startTime":2765.053,"endTime":2769.516,"body":"as an Ursula that one time and that."},{"startTime":2769.6,"endTime":2770.809,"body":"No, look, No, no, no."},{"startTime":2770.809,"endTime":2772.227,"body":"I mean, when Cher was on or whatever,"},{"startTime":2772.227,"endTime":2777.733,"body":"but I got kicked out of my dressing room"},{"startTime":2772.227,"endTime":2777.733,"body":"because they needed it for Cher's wig."},{"startTime":2777.816,"endTime":2779.86,"body":"Which was flown in separately from there."},{"startTime":2779.86,"endTime":2783.322,"body":"And, yes."},{"startTime":2783.405,"endTime":2784.114,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2784.114,"endTime":2786.7,"body":"That was from a designer location."},{"startTime":2786.7,"endTime":2789.286,"body":"The wig had its own airplane. Yeah."},{"startTime":2789.286,"endTime":2793.916,"body":"So I'm not as important as real hair."},{"startTime":2793.999,"endTime":2794.917,"body":"And you know that."},{"startTime":2794.917,"endTime":2797.92,"body":"I know that. I know that she's real. Yeah."},{"startTime":2797.961,"endTime":2799.63,"body":"I mean, that it was more expensive than"},{"startTime":2799.63,"endTime":2803.175,"body":"and probably more than anything"},{"startTime":2799.63,"endTime":2803.175,"body":"I've ever made in my career working."},{"startTime":2803.217,"endTime":2803.967,"body":"On a show like that."},{"startTime":2803.967,"endTime":2806.72,"body":"And someone of like, Mag,"},{"startTime":2803.967,"endTime":2806.72,"body":"like Madonna magnitude comes in."},{"startTime":2806.72,"endTime":2809.223,"body":"Is it something you have to gauge or like,"},{"startTime":2806.72,"endTime":2809.223,"body":"are they approachable?"},{"startTime":2809.223,"endTime":2810.599,"body":"Do I even like."},{"startTime":2810.599,"endTime":2813.685,"body":"Wait a second, now this is something"},{"startTime":2810.599,"endTime":2813.685,"body":"John can answer because I was"},{"startTime":2813.685,"endTime":2816.688,"body":"I was like, shitting on her from,"},{"startTime":2813.685,"endTime":2816.688,"body":"like a secondhand story."},{"startTime":2816.73,"endTime":2821.693,"body":"John, you were there"},{"startTime":2816.73,"endTime":2821.693,"body":"when Madonna showed up late, right? Yes."},{"startTime":2821.777,"endTime":2823.07,"body":"Oh, yes."},{"startTime":2823.07,"endTime":2826.782,"body":"We had a table read as we do,"},{"startTime":2823.07,"endTime":2826.782,"body":"and everyone's on time."},{"startTime":2826.782,"endTime":2829.243,"body":"It's a table read."},{"startTime":2826.782,"endTime":2829.243,"body":"Our actors are always on time."},{"startTime":2829.243,"endTime":2829.952,"body":"It was good."},{"startTime":2829.952,"endTime":2831.662,"body":"We waited and waited and waited."},{"startTime":2831.662,"endTime":2835.749,"body":"It probably about 45 minutes,"},{"startTime":2831.662,"endTime":2835.749,"body":"which is a long time to wait."},{"startTime":2835.833,"endTime":2837.751,"body":"I've been I've been I've been calling."},{"startTime":2837.751,"endTime":2840.42,"body":"In the waiting period. Are"},{"startTime":2837.751,"endTime":2840.42,"body":"there is everyone like, where's Madonna?"},{"startTime":2840.42,"endTime":2841.046,"body":"What do we do?"},{"startTime":2841.046,"endTime":2842.756,"body":"Well,"},{"startTime":2841.046,"endTime":2842.756,"body":"we all knew and we were sitting there"},{"startTime":2842.756,"endTime":2844.842,"body":"and maybe somebody told us,"},{"startTime":2842.756,"endTime":2844.842,"body":"but I can't remember."},{"startTime":2844.842,"endTime":2846.009,"body":"But I have to"},{"startTime":2846.009,"endTime":2849.179,"body":"in case there's somebody listening"},{"startTime":2846.009,"endTime":2849.179,"body":"that's not in this shitty business."},{"startTime":2849.263,"endTime":2852.808,"body":"A table read is"},{"startTime":2849.263,"endTime":2852.808,"body":"when the actors read the script"},{"startTime":2852.808,"endTime":2856.228,"body":"that the writers have worked on all week,"},{"startTime":2852.808,"endTime":2856.228,"body":"and then they say, See how it goes?"},{"startTime":2856.228,"endTime":2858.73,"body":"Yeah, yeah. Network is there"},{"startTime":2856.228,"endTime":2858.73,"body":"and the writers are all there."},{"startTime":2858.73,"endTime":2862.109,"body":"And the actors sit around this table"},{"startTime":2858.73,"endTime":2862.109,"body":"and they read it and everyone."},{"startTime":2862.192,"endTime":2865.612,"body":"And that's where you get notes of ideas"},{"startTime":2862.192,"endTime":2865.612,"body":"and how to rewrite it if it doesn't work."},{"startTime":2865.612,"endTime":2866.864,"body":"That's what the network says. No."},{"startTime":2866.864,"endTime":2868.74,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":2868.74,"endTime":2872.244,"body":"So, yeah, Jimmy Burrows was a"},{"startTime":2868.74,"endTime":2872.244,"body":"Oh, right, Yeah."},{"startTime":2872.369,"endTime":2877.165,"body":"So Madonna finally comes swooping"},{"startTime":2872.369,"endTime":2877.165,"body":"in about 45 minutes late and she goes,"},{"startTime":2877.249,"endTime":2879.751,"body":"There's a trail of people behind her"},{"startTime":2877.249,"endTime":2879.751,"body":"and she just goes, I know, I know."},{"startTime":2879.751,"endTime":2881.42,"body":"I'm late, I don't care."},{"startTime":2881.42,"endTime":2883.589,"body":"And, and we were all like, Oh my God."},{"startTime":2883.589,"endTime":2885.841,"body":"And I later on I was thinking about"},{"startTime":2885.841,"endTime":2889.845,"body":"I think that was her attempt to be funny,"},{"startTime":2885.841,"endTime":2889.845,"body":"like she was oh, I don't know."},{"startTime":2889.845,"endTime":2892.431,"body":"She's in over a"},{"startTime":2889.845,"endTime":2892.431,"body":"great sense of. You're right."},{"startTime":2892.514,"endTime":2893.724,"body":"Yes, of course."},{"startTime":2893.724,"endTime":2896.602,"body":"I mean, I've already told"},{"startTime":2893.724,"endTime":2896.602,"body":"I blabbed about the story."},{"startTime":2896.602,"endTime":2898.395,"body":"I said she was an hour and a half late"},{"startTime":2898.395,"endTime":2902.149,"body":"and said that she says, I know I'm late,"},{"startTime":2898.395,"endTime":2902.149,"body":"but who cares on Madonna. Hmm."},{"startTime":2902.232,"endTime":2905.527,"body":"It might have been that time that"},{"startTime":2905.611,"endTime":2907.654,"body":"I got to go with that one,"},{"startTime":2905.611,"endTime":2907.654,"body":"because that's better."},{"startTime":2907.654,"endTime":2908.28,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":2908.28,"endTime":2908.947,"body":"Thank you."},{"startTime":2908.947,"endTime":2912.91,"body":"And she went up to Eric McCormack"},{"startTime":2912.91,"endTime":2915.913,"body":"after the table read,"},{"startTime":2912.91,"endTime":2915.913,"body":"which you all know what that is now."},{"startTime":2916.121,"endTime":2919.333,"body":"And she said, Oh, which one are you?"},{"startTime":2919.333,"endTime":2922.336,"body":"And oh great. This happened."},{"startTime":2922.502,"endTime":2927.132,"body":"And Eric pointed, he said, Turn the page,"},{"startTime":2922.502,"endTime":2927.132,"body":"See that name at the top?"},{"startTime":2927.215,"endTime":2930.469,"body":"That's me. Haha"},{"startTime":2930.552,"endTime":2932.095,"body":"I'd love to do that."},{"startTime":2932.095,"endTime":2933.68,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2933.68,"endTime":2935.682,"body":"So maybe she was funny, but."},{"startTime":2935.682,"endTime":2937.643,"body":"I want to say something nice."},{"startTime":2937.643,"endTime":2939.853,"body":"But really fire"},{"startTime":2939.937,"endTime":2942.606,"body":"is really something that she's good at."},{"startTime":2942.606,"endTime":2945.317,"body":"But and I. Great moment."},{"startTime":2942.606,"endTime":2945.317,"body":"I had a great moment."},{"startTime":2945.317,"endTime":2947.444,"body":"You're not with her. I saw it."},{"startTime":2947.444,"endTime":2951.74,"body":"I was we were shooting the episode"},{"startTime":2947.444,"endTime":2951.74,"body":"that she's in and we were between"},{"startTime":2951.74,"endTime":2954.743,"body":"shots moving the cameras"},{"startTime":2951.74,"endTime":2954.743,"body":"to a different scene or something."},{"startTime":2954.91,"endTime":2957.12,"body":"And so she was outside her apartment door."},{"startTime":2957.12,"endTime":2958.58,"body":"It was he was in her apartment."},{"startTime":2958.58,"endTime":2962.0,"body":"And the way everything was angled,"},{"startTime":2958.58,"endTime":2962.0,"body":"no one could really see her."},{"startTime":2962.0,"endTime":2964.711,"body":"I was standing there"},{"startTime":2962.0,"endTime":2964.711,"body":"and I saw her waiting for her entrance."},{"startTime":2964.711,"endTime":2968.006,"body":"It's in a madonna song, came out"},{"startTime":2964.711,"endTime":2968.006,"body":"or was playing ordered."},{"startTime":2968.006,"endTime":2969.007,"body":"I bought a lucky star."},{"startTime":2969.007,"endTime":2972.344,"body":"One of them, that's one of the great ones"},{"startTime":2969.007,"endTime":2972.344,"body":"from back in the day."},{"startTime":2972.427,"endTime":2974.179,"body":"And she started dancing to it."},{"startTime":2974.179,"endTime":2976.765,"body":"Oh, I'm dancing to it."},{"startTime":2976.765,"endTime":2978.558,"body":"I was the only one who saw it"},{"startTime":2978.558,"endTime":2981.395,"body":"because I was, you know, obviously"},{"startTime":2978.558,"endTime":2981.395,"body":"staring for the entire night."},{"startTime":2981.395,"endTime":2983.897,"body":"And and I thought,"},{"startTime":2981.395,"endTime":2983.897,"body":"this is a great moment. Yeah."},{"startTime":2983.897,"endTime":2986.108,"body":"That's when cameras were invented."},{"startTime":2986.108,"endTime":2988.068,"body":"I mean, cameras were"},{"startTime":2988.151,"endTime":2992.447,"body":"high, phones were invented, yet."},{"startTime":2992.531,"endTime":2994.199,"body":"Some would never. Fucking have that."},{"startTime":2994.199,"endTime":2998.161,"body":"But my that would be like a comic"},{"startTime":2994.199,"endTime":2998.161,"body":"laughing at their own joke."},{"startTime":2998.245,"endTime":3001.123,"body":"But I've met Bob, who's now on tour. Oh."},{"startTime":3001.123,"endTime":3002.165,"body":"Oh, right."},{"startTime":3002.165,"endTime":3003.083,"body":"A the audience."},{"startTime":3003.083,"endTime":3006.044,"body":"Yeah. Bob is great. Really hard to like."},{"startTime":3006.044,"endTime":3008.588,"body":"I don't think so. I think."},{"startTime":3006.044,"endTime":3008.588,"body":"I think you are."},{"startTime":3008.588,"endTime":3012.592,"body":"I mean, just conversationally,"},{"startTime":3008.588,"endTime":3012.592,"body":"like no one interrupts Bob because Bob."},{"startTime":3012.634,"endTime":3013.927,"body":"I don't know."},{"startTime":3013.927,"endTime":3015.554,"body":"He's on tour with Madonna right now."},{"startTime":3015.554,"endTime":3016.763,"body":"And so the last time"},{"startTime":3015.554,"endTime":3016.763,"body":"I saw was before that."},{"startTime":3016.763,"endTime":3018.348,"body":"But they've been in rehearsals."},{"startTime":3016.763,"endTime":3018.348,"body":"What is he?"},{"startTime":3018.348,"endTime":3019.224,"body":"He it's a."},{"startTime":3019.224,"endTime":3024.604,"body":"He does like, uh, ballroom dance hall like"},{"startTime":3019.224,"endTime":3024.604,"body":"comes out in drag but does like the, um."},{"startTime":3024.688,"endTime":3026.982,"body":"The French shit out of the Renaissance."},{"startTime":3026.982,"endTime":3027.607,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3027.607,"endTime":3031.695,"body":"All that does Vogue and comes out"},{"startTime":3027.607,"endTime":3031.695,"body":"but does a whole night"},{"startTime":3031.695,"endTime":3034.656,"body":"like ballroom scene on tour."},{"startTime":3031.695,"endTime":3034.656,"body":"It's really a great feature."},{"startTime":3034.656,"endTime":3035.907,"body":"But I. You saw the tour?"},{"startTime":3035.907,"endTime":3039.828,"body":"No, I just go,"},{"startTime":3035.907,"endTime":3039.828,"body":"I can't fucking afford to go."},{"startTime":3039.911,"endTime":3041.204,"body":"Oh, but they."},{"startTime":3041.204,"endTime":3043.248,"body":"I asked Bob like, what is Madonna like."},{"startTime":3043.248,"endTime":3047.753,"body":"And he said that she's really funny"},{"startTime":3043.248,"endTime":3047.753,"body":"and she sings a lot and she'll just start"},{"startTime":3047.753,"endTime":3050.756,"body":"singing all of a sudden,"},{"startTime":3047.753,"endTime":3050.756,"body":"but she'll start singing her own songs."},{"startTime":3050.756,"endTime":3054.259,"body":"Wow, that's such a great"},{"startTime":3054.342,"endTime":3055.802,"body":"but. So that is a"},{"startTime":3055.802,"endTime":3060.057,"body":"that is like narcissism times three Well,"},{"startTime":3055.802,"endTime":3060.057,"body":"sing your own songs."},{"startTime":3060.14,"endTime":3061.141,"body":"You telling your own joke."},{"startTime":3061.141,"endTime":3063.185,"body":"You son of a bitch."},{"startTime":3063.185,"endTime":3067.105,"body":"You son of a bitch in the mirror, too,"},{"startTime":3063.185,"endTime":3067.105,"body":"you son of a bitch."},{"startTime":3067.105,"endTime":3070.108,"body":"Chris Rock, God dammit!"},{"startTime":3070.233,"endTime":3072.027,"body":"Her hair and curlers."},{"startTime":3072.027,"endTime":3078.325,"body":"Laura, you are killing me,"},{"startTime":3078.408,"endTime":3078.7,"body":"Well, we."},{"startTime":3078.7,"endTime":3080.994,"body":"Usually ask a question like,"},{"startTime":3078.7,"endTime":3080.994,"body":"how do you know when you've made it."},{"startTime":3080.994,"endTime":3083.455,"body":"And mine was it was like homeownership,"},{"startTime":3080.994,"endTime":3083.455,"body":"which is a joke."},{"startTime":3083.455,"endTime":3085.207,"body":"But I think right now is Mae West."},{"startTime":3085.207,"endTime":3090.837,"body":"I know I've made it when I'm"},{"startTime":3085.207,"endTime":3090.837,"body":"living in the Hollywood Tower where. Oh."},{"startTime":3090.921,"endTime":3093.256,"body":"It's so beautiful, that place."},{"startTime":3093.256,"endTime":3094.341,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3094.341,"endTime":3097.636,"body":"Know, I've made it when I have a car"},{"startTime":3094.341,"endTime":3097.636,"body":"with my balcony."},{"startTime":3097.719,"endTime":3098.929,"body":"Shit."},{"startTime":3098.929,"endTime":3101.014,"body":"I'll come over tomorrow."},{"startTime":3101.014,"endTime":3102.849,"body":"Might be funny, but this weekend."},{"startTime":3102.849,"endTime":3107.354,"body":"Celebrities. Like they didn't."},{"startTime":3102.849,"endTime":3107.354,"body":"They're not laughing it over. You have."},{"startTime":3107.437,"endTime":3107.854,"body":"Three."},{"startTime":3107.854,"endTime":3110.565,"body":"But you have a bingo card"},{"startTime":3107.854,"endTime":3110.565,"body":"and you pick a celebrity."},{"startTime":3110.565,"endTime":3113.401,"body":"Oh, I will die that year. Yeah."},{"startTime":3110.565,"endTime":3113.401,"body":"So I won this last year."},{"startTime":3113.401,"endTime":3114.694,"body":"Oh, no. Who did you bet?"},{"startTime":3114.694,"endTime":3118.824,"body":"Tina and Bob Barker and fucking Jimmy"},{"startTime":3114.694,"endTime":3118.824,"body":"Carter would have been my winner,"},{"startTime":3118.865,"endTime":3119.95,"body":"but he's still with us."},{"startTime":3119.95,"endTime":3121.785,"body":"Oh, who's the third one?"},{"startTime":3121.785,"endTime":3122.202,"body":"There's no."},{"startTime":3122.202,"endTime":3125.205,"body":"And Tori Spelling was my young person. Mm."},{"startTime":3125.33,"endTime":3125.956,"body":"I won."},{"startTime":3125.956,"endTime":3129.126,"body":"So my meal,"},{"startTime":3125.956,"endTime":3129.126,"body":"I get to be taken to dinner at sunset."},{"startTime":3129.209,"endTime":3130.877,"body":"Oh, nice."},{"startTime":3130.877,"endTime":3131.294,"body":"We had to."},{"startTime":3131.294,"endTime":3134.464,"body":"Pick a young person that wasn't just like,"},{"startTime":3131.294,"endTime":3134.464,"body":"you know, why her?"},{"startTime":3134.631,"endTime":3135.257,"body":"Why? Notorious."},{"startTime":3135.257,"endTime":3138.385,"body":"She's a crazy bag of snakes. She."},{"startTime":3138.468,"endTime":3144.724,"body":"I wrote every cast member of Beverly Hills"},{"startTime":3138.468,"endTime":3144.724,"body":"91 or a fan letter, and Tori Spelling"},{"startTime":3144.724,"endTime":3148.145,"body":"is the only one that wrote me back"},{"startTime":3144.724,"endTime":3148.145,"body":"and gave me an autograph."},{"startTime":3148.228,"endTime":3149.896,"body":"What a sweetie."},{"startTime":3149.896,"endTime":3151.231,"body":"And you tried to kill her this year?"},{"startTime":3151.231,"endTime":3153.817,"body":"Yeah, I."},{"startTime":3151.231,"endTime":3153.817,"body":"Just pay her back by killing. Her off."},{"startTime":3153.817,"endTime":3154.276,"body":"I love."},{"startTime":3154.276,"endTime":3158.238,"body":"Well, I still love her, but, you know,"},{"startTime":3154.276,"endTime":3158.238,"body":"she was in the news and it was like"},{"startTime":3158.238,"endTime":3160.49,"body":"she was kind of like Britney level. Like."},{"startTime":3160.49,"endTime":3163.285,"body":"Yeah, Yeah. Okay. Well, you."},{"startTime":3163.368,"endTime":3164.661,"body":"Plus, you got to be down."},{"startTime":3164.661,"endTime":3165.829,"body":"I don't know how."},{"startTime":3165.829,"endTime":3168.039,"body":"I mean, any child actors can survive."},{"startTime":3168.039,"endTime":3169.416,"body":"It's so incredible."},{"startTime":3169.416,"endTime":3173.336,"body":"Child actor But your dad is Aaron Spelling"},{"startTime":3169.416,"endTime":3173.336,"body":"and he left you nothing."},{"startTime":3173.503,"endTime":3175.463,"body":"I know. It's disgusting."},{"startTime":3175.463,"endTime":3176.131,"body":"Nothing. Right."},{"startTime":3176.131,"endTime":3179.593,"body":"And you know who got it"},{"startTime":3176.131,"endTime":3179.593,"body":"all? Fucking candy."},{"startTime":3179.676,"endTime":3182.053,"body":"Candy and candy."},{"startTime":3182.053,"endTime":3184.472,"body":"Have a heart, for fuck's sake."},{"startTime":3184.472,"endTime":3185.682,"body":"Do you know who his first wife was?"},{"startTime":3185.682,"endTime":3188.685,"body":"Aaron Spelling First all, I was like, No,"},{"startTime":3188.894,"endTime":3191.897,"body":"I've ever had Carolyn Jones."},{"startTime":3192.063,"endTime":3195.483,"body":"Wow. Oh, was it?"},{"startTime":3195.692,"endTime":3198.904,"body":"There's a Lucille Ball had a radio show"},{"startTime":3195.692,"endTime":3198.904,"body":"that says REHASHED"},{"startTime":3198.904,"endTime":3201.907,"body":"and put it on CBS"},{"startTime":3198.904,"endTime":3201.907,"body":"where she interviews Carolyn Jones."},{"startTime":3202.157,"endTime":3203.825,"body":"And she's just asking about like,"},{"startTime":3202.157,"endTime":3203.825,"body":"what do you do?"},{"startTime":3203.825,"endTime":3206.453,"body":"And Carolyn Jones,"},{"startTime":3203.825,"endTime":3206.453,"body":"without mentioning any name, she as well."},{"startTime":3206.453,"endTime":3208.496,"body":"I've just recently been divorced."},{"startTime":3208.496,"endTime":3210.498,"body":"Oh, she's having a hard time with it."},{"startTime":3210.498,"endTime":3212.876,"body":"Oh, you're an old soul."},{"startTime":3212.876,"endTime":3217.589,"body":"It ain't No, there's no"},{"startTime":3212.876,"endTime":3217.589,"body":"there is no one that Daniel doesn't know."},{"startTime":3217.589,"endTime":3218.965,"body":"It's crazy."},{"startTime":3218.965,"endTime":3219.716,"body":"They're so. Good."},{"startTime":3219.716,"endTime":3220.508,"body":"I know."},{"startTime":3220.508,"endTime":3222.677,"body":"And I suppose that also just means gay."},{"startTime":3222.677,"endTime":3224.221,"body":"Right? Yeah."},{"startTime":3224.221,"endTime":3226.681,"body":"So. Yeah, right."},{"startTime":3226.681,"endTime":3230.602,"body":"Or just old the old."},{"startTime":3230.685,"endTime":3234.397,"body":"Oh. I love this show."},{"startTime":3234.564,"endTime":3235.857,"body":"Oh, love you, kids."},{"startTime":3235.857,"endTime":3236.608,"body":"All right."},{"startTime":3236.608,"endTime":3238.193,"body":"Thank you so much for joining us."},{"startTime":3238.193,"endTime":3239.277,"body":"And wait a second."},{"startTime":3239.277,"endTime":3242.072,"body":"We want I want to talk about"},{"startTime":3239.277,"endTime":3242.072,"body":"where to get Chris's book."},{"startTime":3242.072,"endTime":3246.451,"body":"You can get the Green Witch's Guide"},{"startTime":3242.072,"endTime":3246.451,"body":"to Magical Cleanser Flowers"},{"startTime":3246.534,"endTime":3248.995,"body":"Anywhere, anywhere"},{"startTime":3246.534,"endTime":3248.995,"body":"the books are sold at Amazon"},{"startTime":3248.995,"endTime":3252.332,"body":"or Barnes and Noble WSJ.com or Go."},{"startTime":3252.332,"endTime":3255.335,"body":"I recommend going to an independent"},{"startTime":3252.332,"endTime":3255.335,"body":"bookstore and asking me."},{"startTime":3255.543,"endTime":3258.505,"body":"And if we're"},{"startTime":3255.543,"endTime":3258.505,"body":"if we want to see John perform"},{"startTime":3258.505,"endTime":3261.675,"body":"or Chris,"},{"startTime":3258.505,"endTime":3261.675,"body":"we're going to have to go to Spain."},{"startTime":3261.758,"endTime":3262.217,"body":"Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":3262.217,"endTime":3264.719,"body":"We've been kicked out of the country"},{"startTime":3264.719,"endTime":3267.722,"body":"by Madonna."},{"startTime":3267.806,"endTime":3268.932,"body":"No, we just want to leave."},{"startTime":3268.932,"endTime":3274.187,"body":"And yeah, there's I didn't have a job"},{"startTime":3268.932,"endTime":3274.187,"body":"for a while and there was a strike."},{"startTime":3274.187,"endTime":3274.688,"body":"And you know what?"},{"startTime":3274.688,"endTime":3276.064,"body":"It just felt like a good."},{"startTime":3276.064,"endTime":3278.024,"body":"And it sucks here in America."},{"startTime":3278.024,"endTime":3280.235,"body":"I was totally expatriate,"},{"startTime":3278.024,"endTime":3280.235,"body":"you know, going home."},{"startTime":3280.235,"endTime":3280.986,"body":"We're moving."},{"startTime":3280.986,"endTime":3284.99,"body":"We're going in for the golden Visa"},{"startTime":3280.986,"endTime":3284.99,"body":"and become citizens."},{"startTime":3284.99,"endTime":3286.491,"body":"And the whole thing."},{"startTime":3286.491,"endTime":3289.411,"body":"Is that like the golden bachelor. That."},{"startTime":3289.494,"endTime":3290.912,"body":"John's going to be like?"},{"startTime":3290.912,"endTime":3292.622,"body":"All John's opening."},{"startTime":3292.622,"endTime":3294.833,"body":"Us. To. John's opening a theater there."},{"startTime":3294.833,"endTime":3296.126,"body":"Don's opening a theater there."},{"startTime":3296.126,"endTime":3297.335,"body":"So we'll do our show there, too."},{"startTime":3297.335,"endTime":3299.296,"body":"Yes, I want to do that."},{"startTime":3299.296,"endTime":3302.924,"body":"Yeah, have to just, you know, I love"},{"startTime":3299.296,"endTime":3302.924,"body":"it is Make America Great Again with."},{"startTime":3303.008,"endTime":3304.634,"body":"Oh, my heart. Yeah."},{"startTime":3304.634,"endTime":3305.719,"body":"Oh, Jesus, John."},{"startTime":3305.719,"endTime":3306.886,"body":"Remember when you got the letter?"},{"startTime":3306.886,"endTime":3308.847,"body":"It Will and Grace for your episode?"},{"startTime":3308.847,"endTime":3312.475,"body":"I got a lot of hate mail he's been posting"},{"startTime":3308.847,"endTime":3312.475,"body":"and I've been posted on Instagram."},{"startTime":3312.475,"endTime":3313.893,"body":"Oh, really?"},{"startTime":3313.893,"endTime":3316.021,"body":"John Connolly"},{"startTime":3316.021,"endTime":3317.188,"body":"Well, you got a conversion."},{"startTime":3317.188,"endTime":3318.898,"body":"You got a conversion."},{"startTime":3318.898,"endTime":3322.152,"body":"I'm sorry, you got a conversion therapy,"},{"startTime":3318.898,"endTime":3322.152,"body":"something letter or conversion?"},{"startTime":3322.152,"endTime":3323.528,"body":"What's it, a family letter? Yeah."},{"startTime":3323.528,"endTime":3328.199,"body":"Yes. And I have been posting the hate mail"},{"startTime":3323.528,"endTime":3328.199,"body":"because, because Chris and I are moving,"},{"startTime":3328.199,"endTime":3330.076,"body":"I've been going through old stuff"},{"startTime":3328.199,"endTime":3330.076,"body":"and throwing stuff away."},{"startTime":3330.076,"endTime":3332.912,"body":"And I found this folder of hate"},{"startTime":3330.076,"endTime":3332.912,"body":"mail and kept."},{"startTime":3332.912,"endTime":3335.081,"body":"I guess I was proud."},{"startTime":3332.912,"endTime":3335.081,"body":"I was getting hate mail. Yes."},{"startTime":3335.081,"endTime":3339.002,"body":"And that's how, you know,"},{"startTime":3335.081,"endTime":3339.002,"body":"it's on my Instagram, A lot of it."},{"startTime":3339.002,"endTime":3339.961,"body":"There's a lot more to come,"},{"startTime":3339.961,"endTime":3343.256,"body":"but they're fucking funny"},{"startTime":3339.961,"endTime":3343.256,"body":"and usually they're riddled with typos."},{"startTime":3343.298,"endTime":3346.092,"body":"Yes, I know one from this woman who's"},{"startTime":3346.092,"endTime":3349.637,"body":"she says she's 17"},{"startTime":3346.092,"endTime":3349.637,"body":"and this silly show is not funny."},{"startTime":3349.637,"endTime":3352.39,"body":"And I thought I thought"},{"startTime":3349.637,"endTime":3352.39,"body":"silly kind of funny, but whatever."},{"startTime":3352.39,"endTime":3353.641,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":3353.641,"endTime":3356.978,"body":"She was praying to her, God"},{"startTime":3353.641,"endTime":3356.978,"body":"that we were canceled soon."},{"startTime":3356.978,"endTime":3358.271,"body":"And I."},{"startTime":3358.271,"endTime":3361.358,"body":"And I put her name up"},{"startTime":3358.271,"endTime":3361.358,"body":"because, you know, she died like."},{"startTime":3361.566,"endTime":3363.651,"body":"Hmm, yes,"},{"startTime":3363.735,"endTime":3364.903,"body":"but yeah."},{"startTime":3364.903,"endTime":3366.696,"body":"So a lot of hate mail."},{"startTime":3366.696,"endTime":3367.155,"body":"What's your."},{"startTime":3367.155,"endTime":3369.616,"body":"Instagram handle"},{"startTime":3367.155,"endTime":3369.616,"body":"so people can look at hate mail."},{"startTime":3369.616,"endTime":3371.076,"body":"At John Connolly, right? Yeah."},{"startTime":3371.076,"endTime":3374.079,"body":"Oh, and I add a l l y."},{"startTime":3374.162,"endTime":3376.748,"body":"K and a l l y."},{"startTime":3376.748,"endTime":3378.166,"body":"Did you believe it when you started this?"},{"startTime":3378.166,"endTime":3380.085,"body":"No, I wasn't sure."},{"startTime":3380.085,"endTime":3383.213,"body":"You know, I remember moving here"},{"startTime":3380.085,"endTime":3383.213,"body":"and hearing people say their names"},{"startTime":3383.213,"endTime":3386.841,"body":"like a question. Monica Yeah."},{"startTime":3386.925,"endTime":3389.719,"body":"And I was like, Well,"},{"startTime":3386.925,"endTime":3389.719,"body":"if you don't know, neither do I."},{"startTime":3389.719,"endTime":3390.136,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":3390.136,"endTime":3395.308,"body":"I was told once by a dear friend"},{"startTime":3390.136,"endTime":3395.308,"body":"who's passed away, she wants told me"},{"startTime":3395.308,"endTime":3399.979,"body":"never to do that,"},{"startTime":3395.308,"endTime":3399.979,"body":"never talk like this and do it to her."},{"startTime":3400.063,"endTime":3401.314,"body":"You lose your power."},{"startTime":3401.314,"endTime":3403.525,"body":"Ooh, yeah, that makes total sense."},{"startTime":3403.525,"endTime":3405.527,"body":"When you're questioning everything"},{"startTime":3403.525,"endTime":3405.527,"body":"you. Said."},{"startTime":3405.527,"endTime":3406.236,"body":"You also never supposed"},{"startTime":3406.236,"endTime":3409.531,"body":"say the word just because it"},{"startTime":3406.236,"endTime":3409.531,"body":"diminishes the values or whatever else."},{"startTime":3409.572,"endTime":3411.157,"body":"It's just the. Oh, I see that."},{"startTime":3411.157,"endTime":3412.909,"body":"Oh, right."},{"startTime":3412.909,"endTime":3415.537,"body":"Miniaturizing yourself. That's."},{"startTime":3415.537,"endTime":3417.914,"body":"That's good advice. Yeah."},{"startTime":3417.914,"endTime":3419.874,"body":"That's what this podcast is known"},{"startTime":3417.914,"endTime":3419.874,"body":"for. Right."},{"startTime":3419.874,"endTime":3424.003,"body":"Well really. Up or down and. Yeah,"},{"startTime":3424.087,"endTime":3425.547,"body":"you laugh, you provide."},{"startTime":3425.547,"endTime":3426.005,"body":"Something."},{"startTime":3426.005,"endTime":3430.844,"body":"I had a viral moment with Barack Obama"},{"startTime":3426.005,"endTime":3430.844,"body":"that was gay. Jay."},{"startTime":3430.927,"endTime":3432.846,"body":"Oh, fuck. That's right."},{"startTime":3432.846,"endTime":3435.265,"body":"I see what you meant. Barack Obama."},{"startTime":3435.265,"endTime":3437.559,"body":"Oh, so handsome. Pre gay marriage."},{"startTime":3437.559,"endTime":3438.852,"body":"This was in Texas. That's a long story."},{"startTime":3438.852,"endTime":3442.772,"body":"But I was working"},{"startTime":3438.852,"endTime":3442.772,"body":"and I was is I Rick Perry was governor,"},{"startTime":3442.772,"endTime":3446.568,"body":"so I was like, equal rights for gay people"},{"startTime":3442.772,"endTime":3446.568,"body":"because gay marriage was in the news."},{"startTime":3446.651,"endTime":3448.403,"body":"And Obama looks at me, goes, are you gay?"},{"startTime":3448.403,"endTime":3449.946,"body":"And I said, Only when I'm having sex."},{"startTime":3449.946,"endTime":3451.573,"body":"And then he fits."},{"startTime":3451.573,"endTime":3453.7,"body":"But I feel like I remember"},{"startTime":3451.573,"endTime":3453.7,"body":"there's a story."},{"startTime":3453.7,"endTime":3456.87,"body":"You told that story numerous"},{"startTime":3453.7,"endTime":3456.87,"body":"I think I know on this podcast."},{"startTime":3457.078,"endTime":3460.081,"body":"Yeah. Yeah. I remember a thing."},{"startTime":3460.165,"endTime":3460.832,"body":"Yeah mine."},{"startTime":3460.832,"endTime":3461.624,"body":"Yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":3461.624,"endTime":3462.125,"body":"I think I was."},{"startTime":3462.125,"endTime":3466.254,"body":"I don't mean to say I'm, you know,"},{"startTime":3462.125,"endTime":3466.254,"body":"I remember hearing that I was on."},{"startTime":3466.254,"endTime":3467.63,"body":"The Huffington Post, but."},{"startTime":3467.63,"endTime":3469.257,"body":"Huffington Post, hang."},{"startTime":3469.257,"endTime":3471.134,"body":"On out of the restaurant."},{"startTime":3471.134,"endTime":3474.888,"body":"I worked and got mailed like a bible"},{"startTime":3471.134,"endTime":3474.888,"body":"and people just highlighted"},{"startTime":3474.888,"endTime":3478.391,"body":"the gay shit was just a couple of pages"},{"startTime":3474.888,"endTime":3478.391,"body":"that they would send scripture."},{"startTime":3478.433,"endTime":3479.726,"body":"Oh, no."},{"startTime":3479.726,"endTime":3481.06,"body":"Few things that were all these, like"},{"startTime":3481.06,"endTime":3483.48,"body":"Christian people"},{"startTime":3481.06,"endTime":3483.48,"body":"praying for me to lose my job."},{"startTime":3483.48,"endTime":3485.982,"body":"That was all. Horrible."},{"startTime":3485.982,"endTime":3488.151,"body":"Equally, if you ever lose a job,"},{"startTime":3485.982,"endTime":3488.151,"body":"you do it on your own."},{"startTime":3488.151,"endTime":3491.362,"body":"But yeah, the website"},{"startTime":3488.151,"endTime":3491.362,"body":"and my my like, press section,"},{"startTime":3491.362,"endTime":3493.656,"body":"it's like all of whatever"},{"startTime":3491.362,"endTime":3493.656,"body":"articles I've had and it's like"},{"startTime":3493.656,"endTime":3495.074,"body":"hated by Internet Christians."},{"startTime":3495.074,"endTime":3497.911,"body":"And there's the link"},{"startTime":3495.074,"endTime":3497.911,"body":"to all the facts again, but there."},{"startTime":3497.911,"endTime":3501.873,"body":"Are type."},{"startTime":3497.911,"endTime":3501.873,"body":"That's how you knew you made it. Yeah."},{"startTime":3501.956,"endTime":3502.916,"body":"Hate me?"},{"startTime":3502.916,"endTime":3504.0,"body":"Yeah. Hi."},{"startTime":3504.0,"endTime":3506.252,"body":"Yeah,"},{"startTime":3504.0,"endTime":3506.252,"body":"I've stopped thinking about making it."},{"startTime":3506.252,"endTime":3508.922,"body":"That's how I've made it."},{"startTime":3508.922,"endTime":3510.048,"body":"I've gotten out of it."},{"startTime":3510.048,"endTime":3511.466,"body":"But, you."},{"startTime":3511.466,"endTime":3511.758,"body":"Know."},{"startTime":3511.758,"endTime":3513.927,"body":"But I used to get mail"},{"startTime":3511.758,"endTime":3513.927,"body":"From mail prisoners."},{"startTime":3513.927,"endTime":3517.472,"body":"And I thought that was kind of,"},{"startTime":3513.927,"endTime":3517.472,"body":"you know, because they can only"},{"startTime":3517.472,"endTime":3519.641,"body":"they probably have to vote"},{"startTime":3517.472,"endTime":3519.641,"body":"on what they're going to watch."},{"startTime":3519.641,"endTime":3525.021,"body":"I get letters from prisoners"},{"startTime":3519.641,"endTime":3525.021,"body":"saying that they like my brand of humor."},{"startTime":3525.021,"endTime":3529.651,"body":"And then they'd end the that end"},{"startTime":3525.021,"endTime":3529.651,"body":"the letter with when they'd be out,"},{"startTime":3529.734,"endTime":3532.362,"body":"I'll be out in May"},{"startTime":3532.362,"endTime":3532.82,"body":"or whatever."},{"startTime":3532.82,"endTime":3534.614,"body":"And it's like, okay, great."},{"startTime":3534.614,"endTime":3537.867,"body":"You know, I'm sorry, I,"},{"startTime":3537.951,"endTime":3539.953,"body":"I used to write"},{"startTime":3539.953,"endTime":3543.122,"body":"prisoners because I thought that would be"},{"startTime":3539.953,"endTime":3543.122,"body":"a nice thing to do back in the nineties."},{"startTime":3543.331,"endTime":3543.873,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":3543.873,"endTime":3545.792,"body":"Like a way to write to gay prisoners."},{"startTime":3545.792,"endTime":3547.544,"body":"Mm hmm. And be a pen pal."},{"startTime":3547.544,"endTime":3551.464,"body":"And it went well at first, but they always"},{"startTime":3551.506,"endTime":3555.051,"body":"almost always said,"},{"startTime":3551.506,"endTime":3555.051,"body":"could they stay with me when they got out?"},{"startTime":3555.218,"endTime":3556.594,"body":"Oh, wow."},{"startTime":3556.594,"endTime":3558.096,"body":"And they always ask for money."},{"startTime":3558.096,"endTime":3560.014,"body":"Oh, sometimes in an envelope."},{"startTime":3560.014,"endTime":3563.059,"body":"I gave them stamps and the next letter"},{"startTime":3560.014,"endTime":3563.059,"body":"would always come back."},{"startTime":3563.268,"endTime":3566.229,"body":"I liked the stamps,"},{"startTime":3563.268,"endTime":3566.229,"body":"but could you send me money?"},{"startTime":3566.229,"endTime":3569.19,"body":"Oh, and I did."},{"startTime":3569.19,"endTime":3569.566,"body":"I didn't."},{"startTime":3569.566,"endTime":3575.78,"body":"I never got that"},{"startTime":3569.566,"endTime":3575.78,"body":"far in a prison relationship."},{"startTime":3575.863,"endTime":3578.616,"body":"So you finally gave money to somebody"},{"startTime":3578.616,"endTime":3581.619,"body":"and you haven't stopped"},{"startTime":3581.786,"endTime":3582.37,"body":"looking."},{"startTime":3582.37,"endTime":3585.79,"body":"So if there are any ex-cons listening"},{"startTime":3582.37,"endTime":3585.79,"body":"right now, what's your hand now?"},{"startTime":3585.999,"endTime":3586.749,"body":"We just want. Is it?"},{"startTime":3586.749,"endTime":3589.002,"body":"Yeah, I was just"},{"startTime":3586.749,"endTime":3589.002,"body":"my johns on Instagram out there."},{"startTime":3589.002,"endTime":3590.503,"body":"And Chris's book, too."},{"startTime":3590.503,"endTime":3591.671,"body":"So do you want to say it."},{"startTime":3591.671,"endTime":3594.34,"body":"Again at two green, which is."},{"startTime":3594.34,"endTime":3596.175,"body":"And it's the number two to green."},{"startTime":3596.175,"endTime":3598.469,"body":"No, that's so good. We just yeah."},{"startTime":3598.469,"endTime":3601.848,"body":"If Lynch it's a documentary about it."},{"startTime":3602.015,"endTime":3605.018,"body":"Is Lynch influenced by the movie"},{"startTime":3602.015,"endTime":3605.018,"body":"The Wizard of Oz, right?"},{"startTime":3605.143,"endTime":3605.518,"body":"Uh huh."},{"startTime":3605.518,"endTime":3606.394,"body":"Like five directors."},{"startTime":3606.394,"endTime":3606.936,"body":"I know he."},{"startTime":3606.936,"endTime":3607.979,"body":"Is. He's obsessed with. It."},{"startTime":3607.979,"endTime":3608.563,"body":"He is."},{"startTime":3608.563,"endTime":3611.274,"body":"Was he going,"},{"startTime":3608.563,"endTime":3611.274,"body":"Oh, let's. Talk about really fast comedy."},{"startTime":3611.274,"endTime":3613.568,"body":"Yeah, There was a"},{"startTime":3611.274,"endTime":3613.568,"body":"there's a quote where he's like,"},{"startTime":3613.568,"endTime":3617.78,"body":"not a day goes by that"},{"startTime":3613.568,"endTime":3617.78,"body":"I don't think of The Wizard of Oz. Wow."},{"startTime":3617.864,"endTime":3621.075,"body":"Wow. I thought in the new Twin Peaks"},{"startTime":3621.159,"endTime":3623.995,"body":"that came out a few years ago,"},{"startTime":3621.159,"endTime":3623.995,"body":"you really saw that?"},{"startTime":3623.995,"endTime":3626.122,"body":"Yeah. Yeah,"},{"startTime":3623.995,"endTime":3626.122,"body":"there's a documentary about that."},{"startTime":3626.122,"endTime":3627.832,"body":"I want to I want to."},{"startTime":3627.832,"endTime":3629.5,"body":"Add a little because I think."},{"startTime":3629.5,"endTime":3630.668,"body":"That's what we watch just."},{"startTime":3630.668,"endTime":3633.921,"body":"Because of Wizard of Oz."},{"startTime":3630.668,"endTime":3633.921,"body":"I want to feel the poppies."},{"startTime":3634.005,"endTime":3636.466,"body":"Yeah, Chris, you're the one to do it, too."},{"startTime":3636.466,"endTime":3639.469,"body":"Would you plan a field of poppies"},{"startTime":3636.466,"endTime":3639.469,"body":"out here for me?"},{"startTime":3639.552,"endTime":3640.928,"body":"Now, I know heroin."},{"startTime":3640.928,"endTime":3642.472,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3642.472,"endTime":3644.474,"body":"And Linda would have killed them all"},{"startTime":3642.472,"endTime":3644.474,"body":"with fentanyl."},{"startTime":3644.474,"endTime":3645.433,"body":"You know."},{"startTime":3645.433,"endTime":3648.061,"body":"John,"},{"startTime":3645.433,"endTime":3648.061,"body":"say your Instagram handle again, please."},{"startTime":3648.061,"endTime":3650.48,"body":"Oh, I've already forgotten it."},{"startTime":3650.48,"endTime":3651.856,"body":"And your name?"},{"startTime":3651.856,"endTime":3652.774,"body":"She needs everyone."},{"startTime":3652.774,"endTime":3655.36,"body":"She's at John Connolly."},{"startTime":3655.36,"endTime":3656.11,"body":"Do I spell."},{"startTime":3656.11,"endTime":3657.362,"body":"Where John Connolly at?"},{"startTime":3657.362,"endTime":3659.28,"body":"John Connolly at John Connolly."},{"startTime":3659.28,"endTime":3660.406,"body":"Only want to act."},{"startTime":3660.406,"endTime":3661.991,"body":"I don't know."},{"startTime":3661.991,"endTime":3664.285,"body":"I'm not on Instagram."},{"startTime":3664.285,"endTime":3665.161,"body":"Oh my."},{"startTime":3665.161,"endTime":3668.581,"body":"Oh my God, dammit, get."},{"startTime":3668.665,"endTime":3669.874,"body":"I follow you."},{"startTime":3669.874,"endTime":3672.126,"body":"I you at least."},{"startTime":3672.126,"endTime":3674.337,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3674.337,"endTime":3675.88,"body":"Poor Garret. I'm sorry."},{"startTime":3675.88,"endTime":3677.799,"body":"Oh. Oh. So you're at John Connolly."},{"startTime":3677.799,"endTime":3680.802,"body":"That John Connolly"},{"startTime":3677.799,"endTime":3680.802,"body":"and to add to Greenwood."},{"startTime":3680.802,"endTime":3682.387,"body":"Yay, yay, yay."},{"startTime":3682.387,"endTime":3683.054,"body":"Thank you, guys."},{"startTime":3683.054,"endTime":3683.68,"body":"Thank you."},{"startTime":3683.68,"endTime":3685.264,"body":"I love you. God, this is great."},{"startTime":3685.264,"endTime":3686.432,"body":"I love my way."},{"startTime":3686.432,"endTime":3688.685,"body":"I love this podcast."},{"startTime":3686.432,"endTime":3688.685,"body":"I'm so happy to get on it."},{"startTime":3688.685,"endTime":3691.688,"body":"I hope you know,"},{"startTime":3688.685,"endTime":3691.688,"body":"you can cut everything out that we know."},{"startTime":3691.688,"endTime":3694.691,"body":"We're going to continue on with you guys"},{"startTime":3691.688,"endTime":3694.691,"body":"when you're in Spain."},{"startTime":3694.691,"endTime":3697.235,"body":"We're going to loop"},{"startTime":3694.691,"endTime":3697.235,"body":"the reading of Debbie's intro."},{"startTime":3697.235,"endTime":3698.611,"body":"It's going to be 8 hours of it. Yes."},{"startTime":3698.611,"endTime":3701.864,"body":"Yeah, that's what I wanted to pay."},{"startTime":3701.948,"endTime":3702.49,"body":"Thanks."},{"startTime":3702.49,"endTime":3704.742,"body":"I wanted to pay a compliment to you, too,"},{"startTime":3702.49,"endTime":3704.742,"body":"because you."},{"startTime":3704.742,"endTime":3705.91,"body":"Think things."},{"startTime":3705.91,"endTime":3708.204,"body":"Would follow you on the street."},{"startTime":3708.204,"endTime":3710.498,"body":"Oh, my God."},{"startTime":3710.498,"endTime":3713.126,"body":"That's pretty amazing."},{"startTime":3710.498,"endTime":3713.126,"body":"We're going to a jam."},{"startTime":3713.126,"endTime":3714.127,"body":"We don't deserve."},{"startTime":3714.127,"endTime":3715.336,"body":"We don't deserve it."},{"startTime":3715.336,"endTime":3716.045,"body":"No, no, that's great."},{"startTime":3716.045,"endTime":3719.048,"body":"Daniel does."},{"startTime":3719.048,"endTime":3720.133,"body":"Section."},{"startTime":3720.133,"endTime":3720.717,"body":"It was the books."},{"startTime":3720.717,"endTime":3721.634,"body":"I don't know what section."},{"startTime":3721.634,"endTime":3724.595,"body":"Because when you got in the door,"},{"startTime":3721.634,"endTime":3724.595,"body":"my friend Marta, David and I,"},{"startTime":3724.762,"endTime":3727.64,"body":"we had been following him"},{"startTime":3724.762,"endTime":3727.64,"body":"and we got scared and we ran away."},{"startTime":3727.64,"endTime":3729.559,"body":"Once we went inside, we're like,"},{"startTime":3727.64,"endTime":3729.559,"body":"We can't do it."},{"startTime":3729.559,"endTime":3733.521,"body":"I mean, I loved him from the start and,"},{"startTime":3729.559,"endTime":3733.521,"body":"you know, got to meet him."},{"startTime":3733.521,"endTime":3736.733,"body":"But now that I know that he reads"},{"startTime":3736.774,"endTime":3738.443,"body":"not so sexy now."},{"startTime":3738.443,"endTime":3740.528,"body":"Not sexy."},{"startTime":3740.528,"endTime":3741.32,"body":"Paul Rudd."},{"startTime":3741.32,"endTime":3743.573,"body":"Paul Rudd reads,"},{"startTime":3743.573,"endTime":3745.867,"body":"I'm sorry. Literacy is hot."},{"startTime":3745.867,"endTime":3749.787,"body":"You take nothing from this and you set"},{"startTime":3745.867,"endTime":3749.787,"body":"the literacy and and Ted Bundy are."},{"startTime":3749.787,"endTime":3751.33,"body":"All yes. Haters."},{"startTime":3751.33,"endTime":3754.959,"body":"When a man has a"},{"startTime":3751.33,"endTime":3754.959,"body":"leg up on my reading ability."},{"startTime":3755.042,"endTime":3755.543,"body":"I do."},{"startTime":3755.543,"endTime":3757.086,"body":"I do. Thank you, guys."},{"startTime":3757.086,"endTime":3757.879,"body":"I love you guys."},{"startTime":3757.879,"endTime":3759.38,"body":"Thank you. God, That was fun."},{"startTime":3759.38,"endTime":3761.174,"body":"Appreciate it. You"}]}