{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":8.717,"endTime":10.468,"body":"We are so lucky I'm saying."},{"startTime":10.468,"endTime":12.012,"body":"Oh, my Lord. I'm Anita Bryant."},{"startTime":12.012,"endTime":17.559,"body":"Today we're going to."},{"startTime":17.642,"endTime":19.31,"body":"Oh, bless us."},{"startTime":19.31,"endTime":19.686,"body":"We have it."},{"startTime":19.686,"endTime":21.104,"body":"We're so lucky to be."},{"startTime":21.104,"endTime":22.772,"body":"No, Daniel."},{"startTime":22.772,"endTime":25.483,"body":"One of my all time favorite comic actors."},{"startTime":25.483,"endTime":28.319,"body":"People on this earth is coming next week."},{"startTime":28.319,"endTime":30.321,"body":"I don't"},{"startTime":30.321,"endTime":31.698,"body":"know what the funniest."},{"startTime":31.698,"endTime":33.366,"body":"actor, a comic, a writer."},{"startTime":33.366,"endTime":37.746,"body":"And may have known"},{"startTime":33.366,"endTime":37.746,"body":"that He was also a naval officer."},{"startTime":37.829,"endTime":40.707,"body":"Please welcome Andy Dick."},{"startTime":40.707,"endTime":42.667,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":42.667,"endTime":46.588,"body":"Wait a minute."},{"startTime":46.671,"endTime":51.134,"body":"Please welcome Andy Richter. Yay!"},{"startTime":51.134,"endTime":56.139,"body":"What's funny is that"},{"startTime":51.134,"endTime":56.139,"body":"I have had an numerous occasions."},{"startTime":56.264,"endTime":57.432,"body":"Hey, you're. Andy."},{"startTime":57.432,"endTime":58.85,"body":"No, you got to be kidding me."},{"startTime":58.85,"endTime":61.019,"body":"Oh, no."},{"startTime":61.019,"endTime":63.104,"body":"And it's just. It's just something."},{"startTime":63.104,"endTime":65.899,"body":"Because it happened so often,"},{"startTime":63.104,"endTime":65.899,"body":"and I think it just is something."},{"startTime":65.899,"endTime":67.025,"body":"The way the brain works."},{"startTime":67.025,"endTime":68.526,"body":"Because of Andy."},{"startTime":68.526,"endTime":71.738,"body":"Any comedian guy, Blondish."},{"startTime":71.821,"endTime":73.448,"body":"Andy. We're adding, like."},{"startTime":73.448,"endTime":74.908,"body":"You need to change. Your mind."},{"startTime":74.908,"endTime":76.409,"body":"No, no, no."},{"startTime":76.409,"endTime":77.118,"body":"Well,"},{"startTime":77.118,"endTime":81.206,"body":"that's almost I have to give a shout out"},{"startTime":77.118,"endTime":81.206,"body":"to Laurie Kilmartin because she said that"},{"startTime":81.414,"endTime":84.918,"body":"she did, even on her own half hour special"},{"startTime":81.414,"endTime":84.918,"body":"that she was doing."},{"startTime":85.001,"endTime":88.963,"body":"They the kid was new, whatever"},{"startTime":85.001,"endTime":88.963,"body":"introduced her as Laura Kightlinger."},{"startTime":89.005,"endTime":91.758,"body":"And I was like, and I got Laurie Kilmartin"},{"startTime":91.758,"endTime":94.677,"body":"when I was just texting something"},{"startTime":94.677,"endTime":100.391,"body":"or I was Instagramming or whatever,"},{"startTime":94.677,"endTime":100.391,"body":"axing some shit about"},{"startTime":100.475,"endTime":103.061,"body":"how can I say"},{"startTime":100.475,"endTime":103.061,"body":"accent because it's not Twitter anymore."},{"startTime":103.061,"endTime":104.02,"body":"What the fuck?"},{"startTime":104.02,"endTime":104.896,"body":"What do I call it?"},{"startTime":104.896,"endTime":109.317,"body":"It's so hilarious"},{"startTime":104.896,"endTime":109.317,"body":"because nobody like that fucking idiot."},{"startTime":109.4,"endTime":111.361,"body":"I haven't edited two."},{"startTime":111.361,"endTime":114.697,"body":"of every news"},{"startTime":111.361,"endTime":114.697,"body":"article ever says x parentheses formally."},{"startTime":114.697,"endTime":115.615,"body":"No Twitter."},{"startTime":115.615,"endTime":118.952,"body":"Yeah, it's fucking game over"},{"startTime":115.615,"endTime":118.952,"body":"and that's changing it."},{"startTime":118.993,"endTime":122.413,"body":"So So I was saying something and."},{"startTime":122.497,"endTime":123.957,"body":"said I had a dream. This is like."},{"startTime":123.957,"endTime":126.96,"body":"This is how, like, sterile"},{"startTime":123.957,"endTime":126.96,"body":"my life has become boring."},{"startTime":126.96,"endTime":128.503,"body":"That I could bring in new chairs"},{"startTime":128.503,"endTime":130.797,"body":"to the dentist office"},{"startTime":128.503,"endTime":130.797,"body":"because they were filthy old chairs. And."},{"startTime":130.797,"endTime":134.509,"body":"And that's why I dream about asking"},{"startTime":130.797,"endTime":134.509,"body":"the dentist, can I bring in new chairs?"},{"startTime":134.509,"endTime":136.219,"body":"Because I know they've been there"},{"startTime":134.509,"endTime":136.219,"body":"for ten years."},{"startTime":136.219,"endTime":137.095,"body":"I've gone in the same dentist."},{"startTime":137.095,"endTime":141.808,"body":"But anyway, so then this woman, she says,"},{"startTime":137.095,"endTime":141.808,"body":"you know, then you could say if you did,"},{"startTime":141.808,"endTime":144.811,"body":"it could be the Laurie"},{"startTime":141.808,"endTime":144.811,"body":"Kilmartin dental office,"},{"startTime":144.811,"endTime":146.729,"body":"you know that"},{"startTime":144.811,"endTime":146.729,"body":"Laurie Kilmartin reading room."},{"startTime":146.729,"endTime":148.69,"body":"And I'd be okay. But did my job."},{"startTime":148.69,"endTime":150.525,"body":"What do you think? The dentist."},{"startTime":150.525,"endTime":152.944,"body":"It's okay. It's."},{"startTime":153.027,"endTime":153.736,"body":"It's words."},{"startTime":153.736,"endTime":155.321,"body":"I know the. Words that you know."},{"startTime":155.321,"endTime":157.699,"body":"Do you think the dentist has dreams"},{"startTime":155.321,"endTime":157.699,"body":"about changing your teeth"},{"startTime":157.699,"endTime":159.242,"body":"the way you have dreams"},{"startTime":157.699,"endTime":159.242,"body":"about changing his chair?"},{"startTime":159.242,"endTime":160.535,"body":"I would hope so."},{"startTime":160.535,"endTime":163.371,"body":"I can't wait to get these events"},{"startTime":160.535,"endTime":163.371,"body":"and years."},{"startTime":163.371,"endTime":165.582,"body":"I know, but see if he said anything."},{"startTime":165.582,"endTime":167.834,"body":"I don't. I would never know. I would say,"},{"startTime":165.582,"endTime":167.834,"body":"Yeah, go ahead."},{"startTime":167.834,"endTime":168.334,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":168.334,"endTime":170.461,"body":"And my mom dated our dentist."},{"startTime":170.461,"endTime":172.922,"body":"So what? Yeah. Same one."},{"startTime":172.922,"endTime":175.884,"body":"No, no, no, no."},{"startTime":175.884,"endTime":176.718,"body":"Oh, my God."},{"startTime":176.718,"endTime":179.22,"body":"No, no, no, no."},{"startTime":179.22,"endTime":181.347,"body":"Oh, my God. Horrible."},{"startTime":181.347,"endTime":182.682,"body":"Anything for that. One?"},{"startTime":182.682,"endTime":185.56,"body":"No, I think I have a"},{"startTime":182.682,"endTime":185.56,"body":"I have extra dental work"},{"startTime":185.56,"endTime":188.313,"body":"because he was thinking of ways"},{"startTime":185.56,"endTime":188.313,"body":"to see my mother."},{"startTime":188.313,"endTime":190.815,"body":"I have no I have no back teeth"},{"startTime":188.313,"endTime":190.815,"body":"because he was fucking."},{"startTime":190.815,"endTime":192.442,"body":"My mother in."},{"startTime":192.525,"endTime":194.611,"body":"Law. Has too many teeth, but."},{"startTime":194.611,"endTime":195.32,"body":"Yeah, Yeah,"},{"startTime":195.32,"endTime":198.531,"body":"But let's talk about Andy Richter's"},{"startTime":195.32,"endTime":198.531,"body":"grandfather, for one, the beekeeper."},{"startTime":198.698,"endTime":201.367,"body":"Can we please talk about the beekeeper"},{"startTime":198.698,"endTime":201.367,"body":"for 2 seconds?"},{"startTime":201.367,"endTime":202.535,"body":"Oh, yeah. Yeah, we."},{"startTime":202.535,"endTime":206.915,"body":"We started the podcast"},{"startTime":202.535,"endTime":206.915,"body":"before we were broke."},{"startTime":206.998,"endTime":208.124,"body":"Through your ancestry.com."},{"startTime":208.124,"endTime":210.877,"body":"What's that fucking PBS book where"},{"startTime":208.124,"endTime":210.877,"body":"you look at the book of your ancestry?"},{"startTime":210.877,"endTime":212.879,"body":"Oh, it's the."},{"startTime":212.879,"endTime":215.131,"body":"The show. Yeah. Yeah, that's. It. Yeah."},{"startTime":215.131,"endTime":216.424,"body":"Or something like that."},{"startTime":216.424,"endTime":218.885,"body":"But I can't remember what it's called."},{"startTime":216.424,"endTime":218.885,"body":"I remember Oprah cried."},{"startTime":218.885,"endTime":220.595,"body":"Yeah, Yeah."},{"startTime":218.885,"endTime":220.595,"body":"I mean, Tammy can make Oprah cry."},{"startTime":220.595,"endTime":221.179,"body":"Right, right."},{"startTime":221.179,"endTime":222.263,"body":"And yeah,"},{"startTime":222.263,"endTime":227.227,"body":"and it's that three, three named man,"},{"startTime":222.263,"endTime":227.227,"body":"you know, like Henry David, William."},{"startTime":227.227,"endTime":228.728,"body":"Or something like that. Yeah."},{"startTime":228.728,"endTime":231.397,"body":"Who's the voice of CNN and Darth Vader."},{"startTime":231.397,"endTime":233.483,"body":"James Earl Jones."},{"startTime":233.483,"endTime":235.318,"body":"Mm hmm. Mm hmm."},{"startTime":235.318,"endTime":236.861,"body":"I don't think so. No."},{"startTime":236.861,"endTime":238.321,"body":"Okay. Welcome back to tangents."},{"startTime":238.321,"endTime":242.283,"body":"Can I find out about what"},{"startTime":238.321,"endTime":242.283,"body":"the bees did? His grandfather's."},{"startTime":242.367,"endTime":242.575,"body":"Book."},{"startTime":242.575,"endTime":244.786,"body":"I was telling I was about? that."},{"startTime":244.786,"endTime":249.04,"body":"My mother lived in Springfield, Illinois,"},{"startTime":244.786,"endTime":249.04,"body":"during her high school years,"},{"startTime":249.04,"endTime":250.166,"body":"and that's where she met my father."},{"startTime":250.166,"endTime":254.128,"body":"And I said, because my grandfather"},{"startTime":250.166,"endTime":254.128,"body":"and the reason they lived in Springfield"},{"startTime":254.128,"endTime":258.675,"body":"is because my grandfather was director"},{"startTime":254.128,"endTime":258.675,"body":"of conservation for the state of Illinois."},{"startTime":258.716,"endTime":259.384,"body":"Oh, wow."},{"startTime":259.384,"endTime":262.762,"body":"And I was telling"},{"startTime":259.384,"endTime":262.762,"body":"about how my grandfather's family,"},{"startTime":262.762,"endTime":266.057,"body":"my maternal grandfather's family,"},{"startTime":262.762,"endTime":266.057,"body":"basically sold land for a living."},{"startTime":266.057,"endTime":271.145,"body":"They had a big tract of land that they had"},{"startTime":266.057,"endTime":271.145,"body":"gotten from Black Hawk Indians."},{"startTime":271.229,"endTime":273.439,"body":"And then they just"},{"startTime":271.229,"endTime":273.439,"body":"would sell a parcel of it."},{"startTime":273.439,"endTime":274.524,"body":"And that's what they live on."},{"startTime":274.524,"endTime":278.486,"body":"And then we got and they just raised hogs"},{"startTime":274.524,"endTime":278.486,"body":"and chickens and bees."},{"startTime":278.486,"endTime":279.946,"body":"And I mentioned the peas."},{"startTime":279.946,"endTime":282.448,"body":"And then we were talking about beekeeping."},{"startTime":282.448,"endTime":285.868,"body":"And I said, Yeah,"},{"startTime":282.448,"endTime":285.868,"body":"that's my great grandfather died"},{"startTime":285.91,"endTime":290.832,"body":"because he was beekeeping with his fly,"},{"startTime":290.915,"endTime":295.003,"body":"got apparently horribly"},{"startTime":290.915,"endTime":295.003,"body":"done and caused him a heart attack."},{"startTime":295.003,"endTime":296.129,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":296.129,"endTime":298.881,"body":"See, I'd call that a curse from the Black"},{"startTime":296.129,"endTime":298.881,"body":"Hawk Indians."},{"startTime":298.881,"endTime":301.884,"body":"It's 100%. Are you telling me."},{"startTime":301.926,"endTime":303.219,"body":"That bees were Black. Hawk?"},{"startTime":303.219,"endTime":305.305,"body":"Did you see the thing?"},{"startTime":303.219,"endTime":305.305,"body":"The fucking spaceship,"},{"startTime":305.305,"endTime":308.057,"body":"where they were sending the dead"},{"startTime":305.305,"endTime":308.057,"body":"people's ashes to the moon."},{"startTime":308.057,"endTime":312.854,"body":"And the Navajo people were like, We"},{"startTime":308.057,"endTime":312.854,"body":"worship the moon as part of our cosmology."},{"startTime":312.854,"endTime":315.69,"body":"Oh, wow. And they had a White House"},{"startTime":312.854,"endTime":315.69,"body":"mean. Yes. Wow."},{"startTime":315.69,"endTime":318.693,"body":"White House was alerted and they always"},{"startTime":315.69,"endTime":318.693,"body":"had like a base of of whatever."},{"startTime":318.776,"endTime":320.862,"body":"I mean, I placed up the rocket ship"},{"startTime":318.776,"endTime":320.862,"body":"and then guess"},{"startTime":320.862,"endTime":323.281,"body":"what happened back in space,"},{"startTime":320.862,"endTime":323.281,"body":"launch the ship."},{"startTime":323.281,"endTime":326.2,"body":"And it had an anomaly"},{"startTime":323.281,"endTime":326.2,"body":"and they've never seen it since."},{"startTime":326.2,"endTime":328.077,"body":"Oh, wow."},{"startTime":328.077,"endTime":328.995,"body":"Fucking spaceship two."},{"startTime":328.995,"endTime":330.663,"body":"Wow. Walk me through this."},{"startTime":330.663,"endTime":331.039,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":331.039,"endTime":333.541,"body":"I'm sure there's, like, a death"},{"startTime":331.039,"endTime":333.541,"body":"certificate somewhere, but it's like he's"},{"startTime":333.541,"endTime":334.834,"body":"in the middle of beekeeping."},{"startTime":334.834,"endTime":338.171,"body":"Yeah, he's missed one. Vital. Yeah."},{"startTime":338.254,"endTime":338.921,"body":"Apparently."},{"startTime":338.921,"endTime":341.549,"body":"I mean, I don't. You know,"},{"startTime":338.921,"endTime":341.549,"body":"I don't have any."},{"startTime":341.549,"endTime":343.634,"body":"Yeah, Yeah, I don't have any data on it."},{"startTime":343.634,"endTime":345.97,"body":"Just the family. Yeah, the story. Yeah."},{"startTime":345.97,"endTime":348.89,"body":"But the folly of having the beekeepers"},{"startTime":345.97,"endTime":348.89,"body":"and all that."},{"startTime":348.89,"endTime":351.851,"body":"Oh, honey penis. Richter."},{"startTime":351.934,"endTime":354.02,"body":"I had a Ukrainian Orthodox priest friend"},{"startTime":354.02,"endTime":357.523,"body":"and he had native lineage down in Texas,"},{"startTime":354.02,"endTime":357.523,"body":"and they were using that."},{"startTime":357.523,"endTime":358.358,"body":"So like, correspond"},{"startTime":358.358,"endTime":362.528,"body":"with the actual native family member"},{"startTime":358.358,"endTime":362.528,"body":"so he could get free college."},{"startTime":362.612,"endTime":366.324,"body":"Oh, his mother was haunted by these dreams"},{"startTime":362.612,"endTime":366.324,"body":"about a wolf."},{"startTime":366.407,"endTime":366.949,"body":"Whoa."},{"startTime":366.949,"endTime":370.078,"body":"And then finally, one night,"},{"startTime":366.949,"endTime":370.078,"body":"she woke up to a wolf at the actual door"},{"startTime":370.078,"endTime":370.828,"body":"clawing at us."},{"startTime":370.828,"endTime":373.79,"body":"And then they sent a letter back"},{"startTime":370.828,"endTime":373.79,"body":"to Native said, Thank you. No, thanks."},{"startTime":373.79,"endTime":374.999,"body":"We don't we don't need it."},{"startTime":374.999,"endTime":376.876,"body":"Like,"},{"startTime":374.999,"endTime":376.876,"body":"we're not going to pursue it. College."},{"startTime":376.876,"endTime":378.294,"body":"Oh, because they went away."},{"startTime":378.294,"endTime":379.295,"body":"Oh, wow, So."},{"startTime":379.295,"endTime":382.924,"body":"But what do you think happened"},{"startTime":379.295,"endTime":382.924,"body":"that it got infected."},{"startTime":382.924,"endTime":384.759,"body":"He was. No, he was very old."},{"startTime":384.759,"endTime":391.766,"body":"And I think you get a lot"},{"startTime":384.759,"endTime":391.766,"body":"of these things on your game."},{"startTime":391.849,"endTime":395.186,"body":"I think"},{"startTime":391.849,"endTime":395.186,"body":"he just he 80 went into anaphylaxis."},{"startTime":395.269,"endTime":396.771,"body":"Oh, that would make sense."},{"startTime":396.771,"endTime":396.979,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":396.979,"endTime":399.982,"body":"They brought him back to the house and he"},{"startTime":400.066,"endTime":402.485,"body":"But I mean, you know,"},{"startTime":400.066,"endTime":402.485,"body":"and it's also it's rural"},{"startTime":402.485,"endTime":406.823,"body":"Illinois and I don't know, probably,"},{"startTime":402.485,"endTime":406.823,"body":"you know, 1910."},{"startTime":407.031,"endTime":408.241,"body":"Oh, yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":408.241,"endTime":411.119,"body":"So, you know,"},{"startTime":408.241,"endTime":411.119,"body":"that's what I was going to say."},{"startTime":411.119,"endTime":412.829,"body":"There was dinner."},{"startTime":411.119,"endTime":412.829,"body":"I don't know. You want to touch it?"},{"startTime":412.829,"endTime":415.123,"body":"I don't want to touch that thing."},{"startTime":412.829,"endTime":415.123,"body":"I ain't gonna to touch it."},{"startTime":415.123,"endTime":417.25,"body":"You ever see the movie The Savage Beast?"},{"startTime":417.25,"endTime":419.627,"body":"It's like a jaws, but it's bees."},{"startTime":419.627,"endTime":420.711,"body":"And then they have they."},{"startTime":420.711,"endTime":423.214,"body":"They notice"},{"startTime":420.711,"endTime":423.214,"body":"that the bees are attracted to loud."},{"startTime":423.214,"endTime":424.424,"body":"Sounds like a motor."},{"startTime":424.424,"endTime":425.091,"body":"Yeah. Wow."},{"startTime":425.091,"endTime":426.3,"body":"A Volkswagen, I think."},{"startTime":426.3,"endTime":428.803,"body":"Beetle to drive into a stadium."},{"startTime":428.803,"endTime":430.888,"body":"Yeah, it's the I've seen it's the."},{"startTime":430.888,"endTime":434.058,"body":"I think it's the Astrodome in Houston."},{"startTime":434.058,"endTime":435.101,"body":"That's it, right? Yeah."},{"startTime":435.101,"endTime":437.186,"body":"You can reduce the temperature."},{"startTime":435.101,"endTime":437.186,"body":"Right? Right."},{"startTime":437.186,"endTime":438.104,"body":"They all die."},{"startTime":438.104,"endTime":438.729,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":438.729,"endTime":440.523,"body":"Gee whiz."},{"startTime":440.523,"endTime":442.859,"body":"Crank up the air conditioning."},{"startTime":440.523,"endTime":442.859,"body":"And they are? Yeah."},{"startTime":442.859,"endTime":445.486,"body":"And they're just in the car."},{"startTime":442.859,"endTime":445.486,"body":"Yeah. You know, outside."},{"startTime":445.486,"endTime":447.989,"body":"Like to have lunch in there, I hope."},{"startTime":447.989,"endTime":449.157,"body":"Yeah, Yeah."},{"startTime":449.157,"endTime":450.199,"body":"Or Olivia de Havilland."},{"startTime":450.199,"endTime":452.618,"body":"I mean, wow."},{"startTime":450.199,"endTime":452.618,"body":"I was going to say the problem."},{"startTime":452.618,"endTime":456.247,"body":"Okay, so, like, family relationships"},{"startTime":452.618,"endTime":456.247,"body":"and just relationships in general,"},{"startTime":456.33,"endTime":460.168,"body":"an estrangement or just how like you know,"},{"startTime":456.33,"endTime":460.168,"body":"you start off and you go for decades"},{"startTime":460.168,"endTime":462.879,"body":"living or being in someone's life"},{"startTime":460.168,"endTime":462.879,"body":"and then sometimes that changes."},{"startTime":462.879,"endTime":465.047,"body":"Yeah,"},{"startTime":462.879,"endTime":465.047,"body":"that's the problem with living too long."},{"startTime":465.047,"endTime":469.719,"body":"When we are in our"},{"startTime":465.047,"endTime":469.719,"body":"thirties, everybody got along"},{"startTime":469.802,"endTime":470.678,"body":"right."},{"startTime":470.678,"endTime":471.387,"body":"You're right."},{"startTime":471.387,"endTime":473.848,"body":"Who gave a fuck about politics?"},{"startTime":473.848,"endTime":476.142,"body":"Because we're all going to be dead in"},{"startTime":473.848,"endTime":476.142,"body":"probably ten years."},{"startTime":476.142,"endTime":478.895,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":476.142,"endTime":478.895,"body":"I say bring that shit and."},{"startTime":478.895,"endTime":479.353,"body":"Well, yeah."},{"startTime":479.353,"endTime":483.983,"body":"And also to in fiction"},{"startTime":479.353,"endTime":483.983,"body":"there's the wise elderly person"},{"startTime":483.983,"endTime":488.488,"body":"who learns from their mistakes"},{"startTime":483.983,"endTime":488.488,"body":"and as they go along in life"},{"startTime":488.488,"endTime":492.909,"body":"and get closer to the grave,"},{"startTime":488.488,"endTime":492.909,"body":"they become more open and accepting."},{"startTime":492.992,"endTime":494.494,"body":"Never experienced that."},{"startTime":494.494,"endTime":498.206,"body":"Oh, yeah, it's true."},{"startTime":498.289,"endTime":499.123,"body":"People."},{"startTime":499.123,"endTime":504.128,"body":"They just my experience is all old People"},{"startTime":499.123,"endTime":504.128,"body":"that get scared."},{"startTime":504.128,"endTime":506.088,"body":"Yeah. And crossed over."},{"startTime":506.088,"endTime":506.839,"body":"Oh yeah."},{"startTime":506.839,"endTime":510.092,"body":"And all of the"},{"startTime":506.839,"endTime":510.092,"body":"like parts of their personality that you,"},{"startTime":510.092,"endTime":512.512,"body":"that you navigated around."},{"startTime":512.512,"endTime":515.223,"body":"those were what come to the front"},{"startTime":512.512,"endTime":515.223,"body":"and all the good parts,"},{"startTime":515.223,"endTime":517.725,"body":"all the things that you liked about him"},{"startTime":515.223,"endTime":517.725,"body":"and loved about him."},{"startTime":517.725,"endTime":520.978,"body":"Yeah. They, they just vaporize. Yeah."},{"startTime":521.062,"endTime":525.441,"body":"With, like, the person that could"},{"startTime":521.062,"endTime":525.441,"body":"occasionally, you know, who had a temper."},{"startTime":525.566,"endTime":528.528,"body":"Now it's just a fucking raging"},{"startTime":525.566,"endTime":528.528,"body":"all the time."},{"startTime":528.528,"endTime":529.987,"body":"Or a person that was like,"},{"startTime":529.987,"endTime":533.658,"body":"paranoid and nervous about things"},{"startTime":529.987,"endTime":533.658,"body":"is now just a fear of man."},{"startTime":533.741,"endTime":534.617,"body":"Exactly."},{"startTime":534.617,"endTime":538.412,"body":"I had a so as I say, at"},{"startTime":534.617,"endTime":538.412,"body":"my grandmother's was 82, 95 and I knew her"},{"startTime":538.579,"endTime":542.333,"body":"and I knew her"},{"startTime":538.579,"endTime":542.333,"body":"at the end in a nursing home,"},{"startTime":542.416,"endTime":545.002,"body":"which"},{"startTime":542.416,"endTime":545.002,"body":"wasn't anything but she was such a old"},{"startTime":545.002,"endTime":548.256,"body":"she had the weirdest thing"},{"startTime":545.002,"endTime":548.256,"body":"people always said is that she had a full"},{"startTime":548.256,"endTime":551.926,"body":"head of hair and all her original teeth,"},{"startTime":548.256,"endTime":551.926,"body":"which is such a strange thing."},{"startTime":552.009,"endTime":553.594,"body":"But but she would."},{"startTime":553.594,"endTime":557.64,"body":"They were trying to figure out ways"},{"startTime":553.594,"endTime":557.64,"body":"to sell her right up until the end."},{"startTime":557.723,"endTime":558.224,"body":"Damn it."},{"startTime":558.224,"endTime":559.392,"body":"All those things that she."},{"startTime":559.392,"endTime":561.102,"body":"Would eat or something"},{"startTime":561.102,"endTime":564.23,"body":"if it got sick, she'd spit it to the side"},{"startTime":561.102,"endTime":564.23,"body":"no matter who was sitting next to her."},{"startTime":564.23,"endTime":565.898,"body":"Do you know what I mean? So, yeah,"},{"startTime":564.23,"endTime":565.898,"body":"just be a kid."},{"startTime":565.898,"endTime":567.525,"body":"All of a sudden, food is going steady."},{"startTime":567.525,"endTime":569.193,"body":"Well, we're all watching you."},{"startTime":569.193,"endTime":572.863,"body":"That's the memory I have of her,"},{"startTime":569.193,"endTime":572.863,"body":"not the 97 years prior to that."},{"startTime":573.03,"endTime":576.867,"body":"You know, she was a fun ball."},{"startTime":576.867,"endTime":578.995,"body":"And who now, Right? I"},{"startTime":579.078,"endTime":580.788,"body":"think."},{"startTime":580.788,"endTime":582.456,"body":"Oh, yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":582.456,"endTime":584.667,"body":"You never got to know her, though."},{"startTime":582.456,"endTime":584.667,"body":"It's like."},{"startTime":584.667,"endTime":588.254,"body":"Like my mom's dad, he was very old."},{"startTime":588.337,"endTime":588.754,"body":"He was."},{"startTime":588.754,"endTime":591.757,"body":"He was eight years"},{"startTime":588.754,"endTime":591.757,"body":"older than my grandmother, too."},{"startTime":591.757,"endTime":595.511,"body":"so, like, he died in 1975 when I was nine."},{"startTime":595.595,"endTime":596.262,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":596.262,"endTime":599.015,"body":"And when my mom was divorced,"},{"startTime":596.262,"endTime":599.015,"body":"we lived with him."},{"startTime":599.015,"endTime":599.849,"body":"So I lived with him."},{"startTime":599.849,"endTime":603.728,"body":"But he just was like"},{"startTime":599.849,"endTime":603.728,"body":"he had his own bedroom downstairs."},{"startTime":603.728,"endTime":609.15,"body":"By that point, you know, I just did"},{"startTime":603.728,"endTime":609.15,"body":"not have the stairs to deal with and like,"},{"startTime":609.15,"endTime":612.528,"body":"I'd I'd his final drive"},{"startTime":612.528,"endTime":616.157,"body":"was taking me and my brother to lunch"},{"startTime":616.24,"endTime":618.284,"body":"age like seven,"},{"startTime":618.284,"endTime":622.246,"body":"having like, you know, who pays attention,"},{"startTime":622.33,"endTime":624.665,"body":"what what road safety is about."},{"startTime":624.665,"endTime":627.084,"body":"You know, they we're both like,"},{"startTime":624.665,"endTime":627.084,"body":"this is not good. Yeah."},{"startTime":627.084,"endTime":629.003,"body":"Oh that."},{"startTime":629.003,"endTime":633.299,"body":"And I think that was it was his last"},{"startTime":629.003,"endTime":633.299,"body":"after that because we came home and like,"},{"startTime":633.299,"endTime":638.012,"body":"what, a seven and a nine year old says,"},{"startTime":633.299,"endTime":638.012,"body":"Grandpa almost killed us three times."},{"startTime":638.179,"endTime":646.02,"body":"I feel like going that going, going a mile"},{"startTime":638.179,"endTime":646.02,"body":"and a quarter in your cradle, Illinois"},{"startTime":646.103,"endTime":647.938,"body":"think that you drive."},{"startTime":647.938,"endTime":648.606,"body":"but you know, it too."},{"startTime":648.606,"endTime":652.068,"body":"I mean, I remember like, my grandmother,"},{"startTime":648.606,"endTime":652.068,"body":"she died."},{"startTime":652.276,"endTime":654.945,"body":"She was 72 when she died."},{"startTime":652.276,"endTime":654.945,"body":"She died in a car accident."},{"startTime":654.945,"endTime":655.821,"body":"She was driving,"},{"startTime":655.821,"endTime":659.867,"body":"but She always drove with a foot on the"},{"startTime":655.821,"endTime":659.867,"body":"brake and a foot on the gas and says she."},{"startTime":659.95,"endTime":662.119,"body":"Yeah. So that. Yeah."},{"startTime":662.119,"endTime":665.373,"body":"Because I remember look at,"},{"startTime":662.119,"endTime":665.373,"body":"you know, like if we were to go together."},{"startTime":665.456,"endTime":668.459,"body":"Don't die in a. Car. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":668.501,"endTime":673.089,"body":"That was I guess that was the point of"},{"startTime":668.501,"endTime":673.089,"body":"this was she, she was driven watch."},{"startTime":673.172,"endTime":675.049,"body":"Yeah. Yeah. Could be."},{"startTime":675.049,"endTime":678.678,"body":"And she, she, she drove"},{"startTime":675.049,"endTime":678.678,"body":"and my stepfather was with her"},{"startTime":678.678,"endTime":683.516,"body":"and she was driving and he, she died"},{"startTime":678.678,"endTime":683.516,"body":"and he didn't but it."},{"startTime":683.724,"endTime":685.226,"body":"Yeah, but."},{"startTime":685.226,"endTime":687.395,"body":"You. Know what my for."},{"startTime":687.395,"endTime":687.937,"body":"Oh my God."},{"startTime":687.937,"endTime":691.649,"body":"He had said what I remember about my"},{"startTime":687.937,"endTime":691.649,"body":"I don't know him that well."},{"startTime":691.649,"endTime":692.942,"body":"I remember that my grandmother"},{"startTime":692.942,"endTime":697.154,"body":"used to boss him around because he was"},{"startTime":692.942,"endTime":697.154,"body":"I guess he was in the Korean War."},{"startTime":697.196,"endTime":698.948,"body":"He was on drugs they wouldn't take."},{"startTime":698.948,"endTime":701.742,"body":"So he was kind of"},{"startTime":698.948,"endTime":701.742,"body":"just like following around like a robot."},{"startTime":701.742,"endTime":704.995,"body":"All I remember about their relationship"},{"startTime":701.742,"endTime":704.995,"body":"was stuff on me around Pete."},{"startTime":704.995,"endTime":706.747,"body":"That's what I remember."},{"startTime":706.831,"endTime":709.25,"body":"I don't understand in their own house."},{"startTime":709.25,"endTime":711.043,"body":"But anyway. Who doesn't"},{"startTime":709.25,"endTime":711.043,"body":"want to take drugs?"},{"startTime":711.043,"endTime":713.003,"body":"Especially when someone tells you"},{"startTime":711.043,"endTime":713.003,"body":"it's okay?"},{"startTime":713.003,"endTime":714.922,"body":"I think if you have to, you don't want to."},{"startTime":714.922,"endTime":716.048,"body":"It's more fun when you're not."},{"startTime":716.048,"endTime":718.884,"body":"But like my cousins"},{"startTime":716.048,"endTime":718.884,"body":"and I, when he would throw his drugs"},{"startTime":718.884,"endTime":720.72,"body":"into the little creek"},{"startTime":718.884,"endTime":720.72,"body":"so that she wouldn't."},{"startTime":720.72,"endTime":722.68,"body":"No, we would wind up taking them anyway."},{"startTime":722.68,"endTime":724.265,"body":"Now they're in the water supply."},{"startTime":724.265,"endTime":726.475,"body":"I would hope so."},{"startTime":726.475,"endTime":728.018,"body":"She's. Yeah."},{"startTime":728.018,"endTime":729.729,"body":"Speaking of like suspicious name,"},{"startTime":729.729,"endTime":733.733,"body":"there was a great aunt"},{"startTime":729.729,"endTime":733.733,"body":"and an uncle and he, you know, the pegs."},{"startTime":733.733,"endTime":735.901,"body":"We drive the car off"},{"startTime":733.733,"endTime":735.901,"body":"so you can work on it."},{"startTime":735.901,"endTime":736.36,"body":"Uh huh."},{"startTime":736.36,"endTime":739.363,"body":"He was laying on the ground"},{"startTime":736.36,"endTime":739.363,"body":"going a little further."},{"startTime":739.572,"endTime":742.491,"body":"Oh no. Oh, she killed him."},{"startTime":742.491,"endTime":746.036,"body":"The fucking."},{"startTime":742.491,"endTime":746.036,"body":"She drove over the peg and it killed him."},{"startTime":746.12,"endTime":746.579,"body":"Uncle Pete."},{"startTime":746.579,"endTime":747.037,"body":"I know."},{"startTime":747.037,"endTime":749.498,"body":"So you'd"},{"startTime":747.037,"endTime":749.498,"body":"meet the oldest woman in the world."},{"startTime":749.498,"endTime":750.958,"body":"You'd ever see her"},{"startTime":749.498,"endTime":750.958,"body":"at funerals and wedding."},{"startTime":750.958,"endTime":753.961,"body":"You always have to play the frail"},{"startTime":750.958,"endTime":753.961,"body":"old woman we had."},{"startTime":754.211,"endTime":755.755,"body":"This was his wife?"},{"startTime":755.755,"endTime":756.505,"body":"Yes. Oh, my."},{"startTime":756.505,"endTime":759.008,"body":"God. Honey,"},{"startTime":756.505,"endTime":759.008,"body":"can you get under the car or like,"},{"startTime":759.008,"endTime":761.51,"body":"I'll be under the car"},{"startTime":759.008,"endTime":761.51,"body":"and I'll wave you on?"},{"startTime":761.51,"endTime":764.513,"body":"I mean, was she did it upset her?"},{"startTime":764.513,"endTime":766.974,"body":"She of that she had murdered."},{"startTime":766.974,"endTime":769.56,"body":"That's what he was."},{"startTime":766.974,"endTime":769.56,"body":"Why was he under the car?"},{"startTime":769.56,"endTime":771.562,"body":"So he was fix. It or change the oil."},{"startTime":771.562,"endTime":774.106,"body":"Guiding it. So get it up on the. Yeah."},{"startTime":774.106,"endTime":775.191,"body":"Oh is, is she."},{"startTime":775.191,"endTime":776.358,"body":"Oh I see."},{"startTime":776.358,"endTime":777.026,"body":"Just got it."},{"startTime":777.026,"endTime":778.944,"body":"And you put him behind and then you."},{"startTime":778.944,"endTime":781.822,"body":"Can they make the ramp"},{"startTime":778.944,"endTime":781.822,"body":"and he was under it."},{"startTime":781.822,"endTime":785.242,"body":"Oh you would think you hiding"},{"startTime":781.822,"endTime":785.242,"body":"a haunted woman or something."},{"startTime":785.242,"endTime":787.203,"body":"Yeah. She was loveliest lady."},{"startTime":787.203,"endTime":789.663,"body":"Um, I like donuts. Mm."},{"startTime":789.663,"endTime":790.873,"body":"How many years prior?"},{"startTime":790.873,"endTime":793.375,"body":"Oh, like the seventies. Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":793.375,"endTime":794.835,"body":"It's time to get old."},{"startTime":794.835,"endTime":798.464,"body":"You said"},{"startTime":794.835,"endTime":798.464,"body":"75. And me, I was like. Like an apple."},{"startTime":798.547,"endTime":800.257,"body":"Wow. Are you."},{"startTime":800.257,"endTime":802.968,"body":"I. I'm like a kid of the eighties"},{"startTime":800.257,"endTime":802.968,"body":"nineties."},{"startTime":802.968,"endTime":805.262,"body":"Are you."},{"startTime":802.968,"endTime":805.262,"body":"Do you consider yourself, like, seventies?"},{"startTime":805.262,"endTime":808.182,"body":"Like, well,"},{"startTime":805.262,"endTime":808.182,"body":"you know, more eighties because I mean"},{"startTime":808.182,"endTime":812.061,"body":"it would be seventies"},{"startTime":808.182,"endTime":812.061,"body":"eighties would be the childhood years"},{"startTime":812.061,"endTime":816.148,"body":"and then the high school was eighties"},{"startTime":812.061,"endTime":816.148,"body":"because I graduated high school in 1984."},{"startTime":816.232,"endTime":819.902,"body":"Because you're an actor and comedian"},{"startTime":816.232,"endTime":819.902,"body":"and you don't want to learn that way,"},{"startTime":819.902,"endTime":821.487,"body":"but you do a lot of different things"},{"startTime":821.487,"endTime":823.989,"body":"and a lot of people know you"},{"startTime":821.487,"endTime":823.989,"body":"from The O'Brien Show. Yeah."},{"startTime":823.989,"endTime":828.244,"body":"So it's like not only did you ever see"},{"startTime":823.989,"endTime":828.244,"body":"yourself in the talk show arena,"},{"startTime":828.244,"endTime":831.622,"body":"but was that something you liked as a kid"},{"startTime":828.244,"endTime":831.622,"body":"or when you were like coming out"},{"startTime":831.622,"endTime":833.707,"body":"like in the eighties? No, no."},{"startTime":833.707,"endTime":835.334,"body":"I mean, I like David Letterman."},{"startTime":835.334,"endTime":835.668,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":835.668,"endTime":837.837,"body":"I really I mean, David Letterman."},{"startTime":837.837,"endTime":841.006,"body":"SC TV monitor. Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":841.131,"endTime":845.094,"body":"Those are like the formative"},{"startTime":841.131,"endTime":845.094,"body":"comedic influences."},{"startTime":845.094,"endTime":848.305,"body":"And, you know, like, took comedy"},{"startTime":845.094,"endTime":848.305,"body":"and it's the same thing"},{"startTime":848.305,"endTime":851.475,"body":"with everybody that I know that"},{"startTime":848.305,"endTime":851.475,"body":"does this for a living."},{"startTime":851.725,"endTime":856.397,"body":"I was taking comedy seriously before I"},{"startTime":851.725,"endTime":856.397,"body":"even knew that I was taking comedy series."},{"startTime":856.48,"endTime":857.857,"body":"Like I was studying it."},{"startTime":857.857,"endTime":861.527,"body":"And I had and I had standards,"},{"startTime":857.857,"endTime":861.527,"body":"you know. Mhm."},{"startTime":861.61,"endTime":865.322,"body":"There was shitty comedy and there was good"},{"startTime":861.61,"endTime":865.322,"body":"comedy and there was David Letterman"},{"startTime":865.406,"endTime":869.243,"body":"who came in and was kind of like that,"},{"startTime":869.326,"endTime":873.455,"body":"you know, when he was Johnny Carson,"},{"startTime":869.326,"endTime":873.455,"body":"it was it was all bullshit."},{"startTime":873.706,"endTime":876.709,"body":"Mm hmm. Phony showbiz. Bullshit."},{"startTime":876.709,"endTime":879.712,"body":"And then David Letterman comes in"},{"startTime":876.709,"endTime":879.712,"body":"and it's like"},{"startTime":879.795,"endTime":883.34,"body":"he's kind of a smart ass"},{"startTime":879.795,"endTime":883.34,"body":"who thinks everything, you know, and."},{"startTime":883.465,"endTime":885.426,"body":"And a very Midwestern."},{"startTime":885.426,"endTime":887.761,"body":"Yeah, a very Midwestern, like,"},{"startTime":887.761,"endTime":891.432,"body":"you know, this whole thing, like,"},{"startTime":887.761,"endTime":891.432,"body":"you're get too big for your britches and."},{"startTime":891.599,"endTime":895.019,"body":"Oh, you love to toot your own horn"},{"startTime":895.102,"endTime":895.769,"body":"or the one I"},{"startTime":895.769,"endTime":899.607,"body":"love that there's it's a"},{"startTime":895.769,"endTime":899.607,"body":"I mean, I heard it in like Australia"},{"startTime":899.607,"endTime":904.987,"body":"and New Zealand, the tall poppy syndrome"},{"startTime":899.607,"endTime":904.987,"body":"which is that poppies grow."},{"startTime":905.112,"endTime":908.49,"body":"And if any of them get to high,"},{"startTime":905.112,"endTime":908.49,"body":"you've cut off their head"},{"startTime":908.574,"endTime":912.161,"body":"why everyone should all the poppies"},{"startTime":908.574,"endTime":912.161,"body":"should have a uniform level."},{"startTime":912.244,"endTime":916.832,"body":"So if one drug so if you grow to high,"},{"startTime":912.244,"endTime":916.832,"body":"we're going to cut your head off and wow,"},{"startTime":916.916,"endTime":917.917,"body":"that's the."},{"startTime":917.917,"endTime":920.711,"body":"And that's happened to all of. Us. Yeah."},{"startTime":920.711,"endTime":921.67,"body":"We're all tall."},{"startTime":921.67,"endTime":924.298,"body":"In New Zealand, Australia"},{"startTime":921.67,"endTime":924.298,"body":"and especially New Zealand."},{"startTime":924.298,"endTime":928.594,"body":"They say if somebody from New Zealand"},{"startTime":924.298,"endTime":928.594,"body":"goes out and gets big, they are now."},{"startTime":928.594,"endTime":930.095,"body":"That's when the New Zealanders,"},{"startTime":930.095,"endTime":933.766,"body":"they have 5 minutes of pride"},{"startTime":930.095,"endTime":933.766,"body":"and then they start to, then they Yeah."},{"startTime":933.766,"endTime":935.142,"body":"Then they're ready to cut their head."},{"startTime":935.142,"endTime":938.062,"body":"Well I'm here."},{"startTime":938.062,"endTime":939.396,"body":"No people are surprised."},{"startTime":939.396,"endTime":940.314,"body":"I come in."},{"startTime":940.314,"endTime":943.359,"body":"Yeah well he's. Huge. He's six foot four."},{"startTime":943.359,"endTime":946.07,"body":"I think I'm 6161."},{"startTime":946.07,"endTime":948.364,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very much taller."},{"startTime":948.364,"endTime":948.906,"body":"No, no."},{"startTime":948.906,"endTime":951.784,"body":"I only want my famous people to be tall."},{"startTime":951.784,"endTime":954.787,"body":"Me too. And there are. It's there."},{"startTime":954.787,"endTime":957.998,"body":"Everybody out"},{"startTime":954.787,"endTime":957.998,"body":"here is tiny, and Hollywood is."},{"startTime":958.082,"endTime":959.833,"body":"The good looking ones are."},{"startTime":959.833,"endTime":961.752,"body":"It's very hard to be big and pretty."},{"startTime":961.752,"endTime":963.295,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":963.295,"endTime":963.545,"body":"I know."},{"startTime":963.545,"endTime":965.464,"body":"But you know, you're tall,"},{"startTime":963.545,"endTime":965.464,"body":"but you're beautiful."},{"startTime":965.464,"endTime":967.299,"body":"Oh, bless your heart."},{"startTime":967.299,"endTime":968.3,"body":"Well, you mean."},{"startTime":968.3,"endTime":970.594,"body":"But that makes them even weirder, too."},{"startTime":968.3,"endTime":970.594,"body":"I don't have that."},{"startTime":970.594,"endTime":971.303,"body":"But it's like when."},{"startTime":971.303,"endTime":973.639,"body":"Like a heartthrob. A movie star. Yeah."},{"startTime":973.639,"endTime":975.057,"body":"They're just this tiny, weird. Yeah."},{"startTime":975.057,"endTime":977.351,"body":"And I don't mean"},{"startTime":975.057,"endTime":977.351,"body":"it's like a miniature. Like."},{"startTime":977.351,"endTime":979.144,"body":"Yeah, like a toy version. Yes."},{"startTime":979.144,"endTime":981.397,"body":"It's really hard to find them"},{"startTime":979.144,"endTime":981.397,"body":"sexy at that point."},{"startTime":981.397,"endTime":986.193,"body":"I think it's just"},{"startTime":981.397,"endTime":986.193,"body":"the camera likes small skull."},{"startTime":986.276,"endTime":988.529,"body":"I don't care"},{"startTime":988.529,"endTime":990.322,"body":"just too much real estate because."},{"startTime":990.322,"endTime":992.282,"body":"Yeah, I'm got a big skull."},{"startTime":992.282,"endTime":993.951,"body":"Yeah, everything is shot."},{"startTime":993.951,"endTime":997.121,"body":"like from beneath, because everyone is a"},{"startTime":993.951,"endTime":997.121,"body":"humble figure out here."},{"startTime":997.121,"endTime":999.79,"body":"It's like you have to get it"},{"startTime":997.121,"endTime":999.79,"body":"from the ground and that's it."},{"startTime":999.79,"endTime":1003.085,"body":"And if you have to go up too far,"},{"startTime":999.79,"endTime":1003.085,"body":"then you're just Godzilla, or whatever."},{"startTime":1003.085,"endTime":1003.794,"body":"It's just like, what?"},{"startTime":1003.794,"endTime":1006.296,"body":"But, okay,"},{"startTime":1003.794,"endTime":1006.296,"body":"so there's this award show season."},{"startTime":1006.296,"endTime":1007.548,"body":"We were talking about that earlier. Yeah."},{"startTime":1007.548,"endTime":1011.468,"body":"And it's like it's"},{"startTime":1007.548,"endTime":1011.468,"body":"I am I'm still a viewer by any standard,"},{"startTime":1011.468,"endTime":1014.68,"body":"but it's like you have worked"},{"startTime":1011.468,"endTime":1014.68,"body":"in a lot of movies, television,"},{"startTime":1014.68,"endTime":1016.348,"body":"and you've met"},{"startTime":1014.68,"endTime":1016.348,"body":"all these people sing for you."},{"startTime":1016.348,"endTime":1018.35,"body":"You fuck everybody. Hmm."},{"startTime":1018.35,"endTime":1019.977,"body":"Can you separate yourself from it"},{"startTime":1019.977,"endTime":1022.73,"body":"when you're watching"},{"startTime":1019.977,"endTime":1022.73,"body":"like the fucking Critics Choice Award?"},{"startTime":1022.73,"endTime":1024.44,"body":"Or is it like I should be there?"},{"startTime":1024.44,"endTime":1026.692,"body":"No, no, no, no."},{"startTime":1026.692,"endTime":1031.238,"body":"I mean, having gone to having gone"},{"startTime":1026.692,"endTime":1031.238,"body":"to the Emmys for an hour and being,"},{"startTime":1031.321,"endTime":1032.364,"body":"you know, Lucky."},{"startTime":1032.364,"endTime":1033.282,"body":"Yeah. No."},{"startTime":1033.282,"endTime":1036.243,"body":"Well,"},{"startTime":1033.282,"endTime":1036.243,"body":"I know I never I've never won an Emmy."},{"startTime":1036.243,"endTime":1038.37,"body":"The CONAN Show won a couple of Emmys."},{"startTime":1038.37,"endTime":1040.33,"body":"You don't take or at least one."},{"startTime":1038.37,"endTime":1040.33,"body":"But I wasn't."},{"startTime":1040.33,"endTime":1040.789,"body":"I was."},{"startTime":1040.789,"endTime":1042.249,"body":"It was after I left, you know."},{"startTime":1042.249,"endTime":1044.168,"body":"Yeah. Yeah, we were nominated."},{"startTime":1044.168,"endTime":1045.169,"body":"We were nominated."},{"startTime":1045.169,"endTime":1047.254,"body":"That doesn't make any sense."},{"startTime":1047.254,"endTime":1051.175,"body":"They would almost never we would never get"},{"startTime":1047.254,"endTime":1051.175,"body":"nominated for best show."},{"startTime":1051.175,"endTime":1051.592,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":1051.592,"endTime":1054.47,"body":"Because you know, it's like that."},{"startTime":1054.47,"endTime":1056.68,"body":"You know, losing dorks, I think, is what."},{"startTime":1056.68,"endTime":1061.602,"body":"But we would get nominated for writing"},{"startTime":1056.68,"endTime":1061.602,"body":"and we would always lose like,"},{"startTime":1061.685,"endTime":1067.149,"body":"the one that made me angriest was"},{"startTime":1061.685,"endTime":1067.149,"body":"and it was it was such a weird category"},{"startTime":1067.149,"endTime":1071.57,"body":"because stand up"},{"startTime":1067.149,"endTime":1071.57,"body":"specials would be on there with variety."},{"startTime":1071.612,"endTime":1072.112,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1072.112,"endTime":1077.159,"body":"So, like, we would work 47 weeks a year,"},{"startTime":1072.112,"endTime":1077.159,"body":"writing 5 minutes a week,"},{"startTime":1077.242,"endTime":1080.662,"body":"and then like,"},{"startTime":1077.242,"endTime":1080.662,"body":"the one that got me was Eddie Izzard."},{"startTime":1080.788,"endTime":1081.497,"body":"Oh, fuck."},{"startTime":1081.497,"endTime":1085.667,"body":"Him or beat us one year"},{"startTime":1081.497,"endTime":1085.667,"body":"and I saw this special and I was like,"},{"startTime":1085.834,"endTime":1087.795,"body":"Oh, I like Eddie Izzard just fine."},{"startTime":1087.795,"endTime":1091.84,"body":"But it was like not"},{"startTime":1087.795,"endTime":1091.84,"body":"take that fucking dress off,"},{"startTime":1091.924,"endTime":1095.594,"body":"you know,"},{"startTime":1091.924,"endTime":1095.594,"body":"This is just this is like a movie."},{"startTime":1095.677,"endTime":1096.303,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1096.303,"endTime":1099.807,"body":"Oh my God, Hearing that so funny dress."},{"startTime":1099.89,"endTime":1102.101,"body":"Yeah. And."},{"startTime":1102.101,"endTime":1105.437,"body":"And you know, one of the I'm sorry,"},{"startTime":1102.101,"endTime":1105.437,"body":"but one of his big bits that he did"},{"startTime":1105.437,"endTime":1109.316,"body":"about planting a flag anywhere,"},{"startTime":1105.437,"endTime":1109.316,"body":"that was Paula POUNDSTONE."},{"startTime":1109.399,"endTime":1111.652,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":1111.652,"endTime":1113.278,"body":"She did it first. Yeah."},{"startTime":1113.278,"endTime":1115.239,"body":"You kind of like, Wow. Really?"},{"startTime":1115.239,"endTime":1116.865,"body":"I don't. Give me sample."},{"startTime":1116.865,"endTime":1117.491,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":1117.491,"endTime":1118.534,"body":"In clips, like."},{"startTime":1118.534,"endTime":1120.953,"body":"I love. Her."},{"startTime":1118.534,"endTime":1120.953,"body":"I don't know. I sort of interview with."},{"startTime":1120.953,"endTime":1123.288,"body":"She's just the funniest."},{"startTime":1120.953,"endTime":1123.288,"body":"But anyway, go ahead. Good. Good."},{"startTime":1123.288,"endTime":1126.291,"body":"Right now,"},{"startTime":1123.288,"endTime":1126.291,"body":"I have no idea that Paula POUNDSTONE,"},{"startTime":1126.5,"endTime":1129.294,"body":"her first special is CROWD Yeah. And and."},{"startTime":1129.294,"endTime":1130.17,"body":"Watching her."},{"startTime":1130.17,"endTime":1130.462,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1130.462,"endTime":1135.05,"body":"And naturally really changing"},{"startTime":1130.462,"endTime":1135.05,"body":"a whole audience to get them on her side."},{"startTime":1135.05,"endTime":1136.593,"body":"That is impossible."},{"startTime":1136.593,"endTime":1139.513,"body":"So an audience that didn't know"},{"startTime":1136.593,"endTime":1139.513,"body":"that someone was going to talk to them."},{"startTime":1139.513,"endTime":1140.18,"body":"Yeah yeah."},{"startTime":1140.18,"endTime":1142.599,"body":"Everyone's like, can't"},{"startTime":1140.18,"endTime":1142.599,"body":"wait for their turn."},{"startTime":1142.599,"endTime":1144.601,"body":"Yeah, it bugs me about the crowd."},{"startTime":1144.601,"endTime":1149.69,"body":"Work thing is like part of my improv"},{"startTime":1144.601,"endTime":1149.69,"body":"versus standup bias."},{"startTime":1149.773,"endTime":1153.277,"body":"I mean, come from the improv world"},{"startTime":1149.773,"endTime":1153.277,"body":"and being like, wait,"},{"startTime":1153.485,"endTime":1157.281,"body":"and when I like really got to know"},{"startTime":1153.485,"endTime":1157.281,"body":"stand up and be like,"},{"startTime":1157.364,"endTime":1162.452,"body":"well, like in the early and I mean,"},{"startTime":1157.364,"endTime":1162.452,"body":"Louie's problematic for now for me."},{"startTime":1162.536,"endTime":1163.328,"body":"Louis C.K."},{"startTime":1163.328,"endTime":1167.207,"body":"was on was right around the corner"},{"startTime":1163.328,"endTime":1167.207,"body":"and show very early on and so"},{"startTime":1167.207,"endTime":1170.627,"body":"and we were friends"},{"startTime":1167.207,"endTime":1170.627,"body":"and you know and my ex-wife and I"},{"startTime":1170.627,"endTime":1175.883,"body":"would go see a show and after like the"},{"startTime":1170.627,"endTime":1175.883,"body":"third time, you're like, oh,"},{"startTime":1175.966,"endTime":1178.302,"body":"oh, yeah, oh, yes."},{"startTime":1178.302,"endTime":1180.137,"body":"The scene in the same way."},{"startTime":1180.137,"endTime":1184.141,"body":"And having done it for so long,"},{"startTime":1180.137,"endTime":1184.141,"body":"you know, it just"},{"startTime":1184.224,"endTime":1185.893,"body":"I don't know how you couldn't"},{"startTime":1185.893,"endTime":1189.646,"body":"have like a little bit of like,"},{"startTime":1185.893,"endTime":1189.646,"body":"well, yeah, you know what I mean?"},{"startTime":1189.688,"endTime":1193.609,"body":"It's like, it's like finding out, like,"},{"startTime":1189.688,"endTime":1193.609,"body":"you know, you're an amazing chef"},{"startTime":1193.609,"endTime":1196.361,"body":"just winging it, and then you find out"},{"startTime":1193.609,"endTime":1196.361,"body":"you're using a recipe."},{"startTime":1196.361,"endTime":1197.988,"body":"Yeah, like"},{"startTime":1197.988,"endTime":1201.283,"body":"you do it, you know, But I forget Why?"},{"startTime":1201.408,"endTime":1202.117,"body":"Well."},{"startTime":1202.117,"endTime":1205.704,"body":"Well,"},{"startTime":1202.117,"endTime":1205.704,"body":"as was, as a standup who repeats myself to"},{"startTime":1205.787,"endTime":1210.876,"body":"I remember seeing a UCB show"},{"startTime":1205.787,"endTime":1210.876,"body":"and I went twice because I was actually"},{"startTime":1210.876,"endTime":1214.755,"body":"dating somebody in the troupe or whatever,"},{"startTime":1210.876,"endTime":1214.755,"body":"the one out here."},{"startTime":1214.838,"endTime":1217.883,"body":"And I thought,"},{"startTime":1214.838,"endTime":1217.883,"body":"I know what they're going to do to it."},{"startTime":1217.925,"endTime":1219.509,"body":"And somebody like yelled something out."},{"startTime":1219.509,"endTime":1224.723,"body":"the suggestion was a different suggestion,"},{"startTime":1219.509,"endTime":1224.723,"body":"but they did the exact same thing."},{"startTime":1224.806,"endTime":1227.1,"body":"I was like, Wait a minute, wait a minute."},{"startTime":1227.1,"endTime":1232.147,"body":"How did that get all the way around to"},{"startTime":1227.1,"endTime":1232.147,"body":"that? There is yes. You like"},{"startTime":1232.231,"endTime":1235.776,"body":"was a Del Close, very purist kind of"},{"startTime":1235.859,"endTime":1238.904,"body":"And I don't mean not everybody did it,"},{"startTime":1235.859,"endTime":1238.904,"body":"because there were definitely people"},{"startTime":1239.112,"endTime":1242.491,"body":"that would have like a character"},{"startTime":1239.112,"endTime":1242.491,"body":"or they would have a gimmick."},{"startTime":1242.491,"endTime":1246.328,"body":"Like there was one guy,"},{"startTime":1242.491,"endTime":1246.328,"body":"you know, the very simple stages"},{"startTime":1246.495,"endTime":1250.707,"body":"and there would be a flat like,"},{"startTime":1246.495,"endTime":1250.707,"body":"which was just a four by eight of plywood"},{"startTime":1250.958,"endTime":1253.961,"body":"that had a two by four"},{"startTime":1250.958,"endTime":1253.961,"body":"connecting it to the wall."},{"startTime":1254.127,"endTime":1258.257,"body":"And this guy would climb the flat"},{"startTime":1254.127,"endTime":1258.257,"body":"and flop over and hang over upside down."},{"startTime":1258.298,"endTime":1260.217,"body":"From that was his whole."},{"startTime":1260.217,"endTime":1261.301,"body":"Like you do it."},{"startTime":1261.301,"endTime":1261.51,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1261.51,"endTime":1265.931,"body":"I'd say if he was doing five shows a week,"},{"startTime":1261.51,"endTime":1265.931,"body":"he'd do a three times, you know,"},{"startTime":1266.014,"endTime":1271.019,"body":"and audience fucking"},{"startTime":1266.014,"endTime":1271.019,"body":"Oh we Oh my God, you're right."},{"startTime":1271.228,"endTime":1274.064,"body":"And all of us were like,"},{"startTime":1274.147,"endTime":1277.317,"body":"I could,"},{"startTime":1274.147,"endTime":1277.317,"body":"you know, and I just wish I could go back"},{"startTime":1277.317,"endTime":1281.196,"body":"and watch us as he did it"},{"startTime":1277.317,"endTime":1281.196,"body":"and just see our faces like."},{"startTime":1281.28,"endTime":1284.616,"body":"Load and Andy,"},{"startTime":1281.28,"endTime":1284.616,"body":"this is all in Chicago. Yeah."},{"startTime":1284.7,"endTime":1285.909,"body":"Correct. Right. Yeah."},{"startTime":1285.909,"endTime":1290.247,"body":"And but with the video closes was like"},{"startTime":1285.909,"endTime":1290.247,"body":"if you do something,"},{"startTime":1290.247,"endTime":1292.416,"body":"You got to challenge yourself"},{"startTime":1290.247,"endTime":1292.416,"body":"and do something different."},{"startTime":1292.416,"endTime":1294.584,"body":"You can't do the same stuff over and over."},{"startTime":1294.584,"endTime":1296.128,"body":"And I mean, it's sound."},{"startTime":1296.128,"endTime":1298.964,"body":"It is. It's"},{"startTime":1296.128,"endTime":1298.964,"body":"a, it's a really good way to learn."},{"startTime":1298.964,"endTime":1299.965,"body":"But ultimately, like,"},{"startTime":1299.965,"endTime":1303.719,"body":"when you get out into the world,"},{"startTime":1299.965,"endTime":1303.719,"body":"it's like you can't sustain. No."},{"startTime":1303.719,"endTime":1306.847,"body":"I mean, when I started in back in the days"},{"startTime":1303.719,"endTime":1306.847,"body":"when I was doing things where"},{"startTime":1306.847,"endTime":1311.268,"body":"I would have to do press junkets"},{"startTime":1306.847,"endTime":1311.268,"body":"and where you do 30 interviews a day,"},{"startTime":1311.518,"endTime":1314.98,"body":"I would be like, I got to say something"},{"startTime":1311.518,"endTime":1314.98,"body":"different every time."},{"startTime":1315.063,"endTime":1319.568,"body":"Two days,"},{"startTime":1315.063,"endTime":1319.568,"body":"I'm like, What the fuck am I gonna?"},{"startTime":1319.651,"endTime":1322.529,"body":"And so that would just be like,"},{"startTime":1319.651,"endTime":1322.529,"body":"I'm workshopping the story."},{"startTime":1322.529,"endTime":1323.697,"body":"Yeah, I'm like, It's like that."},{"startTime":1323.697,"endTime":1325.782,"body":"When I was doing my"},{"startTime":1325.782,"endTime":1330.203,"body":"doing sets, you know, where somebody"},{"startTime":1325.782,"endTime":1330.203,"body":"would come into a room and, you know, But."},{"startTime":1330.245,"endTime":1331.079,"body":"You have no cards."},{"startTime":1331.079,"endTime":1333.123,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah, you have no cards."},{"startTime":1333.123,"endTime":1334.291,"body":"I know. We're."},{"startTime":1334.291,"endTime":1335.292,"body":"I'm sorry."},{"startTime":1335.292,"endTime":1338.462,"body":"I'm sorry, but, Andy,"},{"startTime":1335.292,"endTime":1338.462,"body":"did you happen to know Mike HAGERTY?"},{"startTime":1338.545,"endTime":1340.672,"body":"I didn't know. Mike. Oh,"},{"startTime":1338.545,"endTime":1340.672,"body":"because I loved him."},{"startTime":1340.672,"endTime":1345.135,"body":"Oh. Oh, he's a you know,"},{"startTime":1340.672,"endTime":1345.135,"body":"he was of an older generation."},{"startTime":1345.135,"endTime":1347.012,"body":"Yeah, No, but he was a sweetheart."},{"startTime":1347.012,"endTime":1349.89,"body":"Yeah, I was lucky enough"},{"startTime":1347.012,"endTime":1349.89,"body":"he played my husband, unlucky Louie."},{"startTime":1349.89,"endTime":1350.891,"body":"You know."},{"startTime":1350.891,"endTime":1352.809,"body":"Either"},{"startTime":1350.891,"endTime":1352.809,"body":"it probably would have been out here"},{"startTime":1352.809,"endTime":1355.02,"body":"probably through like Garofalo"},{"startTime":1352.809,"endTime":1355.02,"body":"or somebody."},{"startTime":1355.02,"endTime":1356.813,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":1356.813,"endTime":1359.941,"body":"Did you come out"},{"startTime":1356.813,"endTime":1359.941,"body":"do you consider it from Chicago?"},{"startTime":1359.941,"endTime":1363.403,"body":"Sorry. No, no, that's all right. No, I."},{"startTime":1363.487,"endTime":1365.072,"body":"Because your career"},{"startTime":1363.487,"endTime":1365.072,"body":"is more than just that."},{"startTime":1365.072,"endTime":1366.865,"body":"So I don't know how like. No."},{"startTime":1366.865,"endTime":1369.534,"body":"I mean, you know,"},{"startTime":1366.865,"endTime":1369.534,"body":"I went to film school in Chicago,"},{"startTime":1369.534,"endTime":1372.871,"body":"and I was working in film production,"},{"startTime":1369.534,"endTime":1372.871,"body":"which there's mostly commercials."},{"startTime":1373.08,"endTime":1376.083,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":1373.08,"endTime":1376.083,"body":"But I always wanted to perform and."},{"startTime":1376.208,"endTime":1381.505,"body":"And I learned a lot of film acting in film"},{"startTime":1376.208,"endTime":1381.505,"body":"school because nobody knows any actors."},{"startTime":1381.588,"endTime":1385.926,"body":"And, know, you do a lot of round robin"},{"startTime":1381.588,"endTime":1385.926,"body":"kind of projects, so you're like,"},{"startTime":1385.926,"endTime":1386.802,"body":"you're going to edit"},{"startTime":1386.802,"endTime":1390.013,"body":"this one, you're going to shoot this one,"},{"startTime":1386.802,"endTime":1390.013,"body":"and I'll be in it, you know?"},{"startTime":1390.013,"endTime":1393.433,"body":"And so then the next one,"},{"startTime":1390.013,"endTime":1393.433,"body":"you'd be the camera person, and"},{"startTime":1393.517,"endTime":1397.687,"body":"so you would be in things"},{"startTime":1393.517,"endTime":1397.687,"body":"where you'd have to act"},{"startTime":1397.771,"endTime":1400.482,"body":"and then you would have screening days"},{"startTime":1400.482,"endTime":1403.693,"body":"and everybody was always making the short"},{"startTime":1400.482,"endTime":1403.693,"body":"student film."},{"startTime":1403.777,"endTime":1407.948,"body":"And you know, they would show a film"},{"startTime":1403.777,"endTime":1407.948,"body":"that a short film that I was in"},{"startTime":1408.031,"endTime":1410.659,"body":"and I didn't suck."},{"startTime":1410.742,"endTime":1411.118,"body":"And then"},{"startTime":1411.118,"endTime":1415.038,"body":"I would have people come up go like, Hey,"},{"startTime":1411.118,"endTime":1415.038,"body":"I'm doing a a movie, a short film."},{"startTime":1415.038,"endTime":1416.456,"body":"Would you come and be in it?"},{"startTime":1416.456,"endTime":1420.919,"body":"And I'm sure you know, and I did a lot"},{"startTime":1416.456,"endTime":1420.919,"body":"of that, um, to a point where it was like,"},{"startTime":1421.002,"endTime":1424.589,"body":"oh, student films are just yeah,"},{"startTime":1421.002,"endTime":1424.589,"body":"oh, you're just"},{"startTime":1424.673,"endTime":1429.094,"body":"12 hours of nobody knowing what to do."},{"startTime":1429.177,"endTime":1432.139,"body":"And then,"},{"startTime":1429.177,"endTime":1432.139,"body":"especially when I started interning"},{"startTime":1432.139,"endTime":1435.142,"body":"for a production company"},{"startTime":1432.139,"endTime":1435.142,"body":"and being on professional sets,"},{"startTime":1435.267,"endTime":1437.894,"body":"which like I learned more in two months"},{"startTime":1437.894,"endTime":1443.442,"body":"than two years of film school, you know it"},{"startTime":1437.894,"endTime":1443.442,"body":"then that aspect really, that's"},{"startTime":1443.442,"endTime":1447.362,"body":"when you're like, Yeah, I'm not used to"},{"startTime":1443.442,"endTime":1447.362,"body":"a certain level of professionalism."},{"startTime":1447.404,"endTime":1448.196,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1448.196,"endTime":1451.95,"body":"And, and I was loading trucks and"},{"startTime":1448.196,"endTime":1451.95,"body":"getting coffee, but still was like, yeah,"},{"startTime":1452.033,"endTime":1452.742,"body":"you know, how do."},{"startTime":1452.742,"endTime":1455.454,"body":"You like, I think that's something"},{"startTime":1452.742,"endTime":1455.454,"body":"people don't know is like set behavior."},{"startTime":1455.454,"endTime":1458.457,"body":"And one of those things is like"},{"startTime":1455.454,"endTime":1458.457,"body":"you do not set behavior, but like the way"},{"startTime":1458.457,"endTime":1462.169,"body":"if you're somebody new,"},{"startTime":1458.457,"endTime":1462.169,"body":"when do you have the confidence to like,"},{"startTime":1462.252,"endTime":1466.59,"body":"just be yourself or be out loud or like,"},{"startTime":1462.252,"endTime":1466.59,"body":"that's why they hired me on."},{"startTime":1466.673,"endTime":1468.925,"body":"Because you're a gregarious person."},{"startTime":1466.673,"endTime":1468.925,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":1468.925,"endTime":1471.928,"body":"I mean, I always in work situations,"},{"startTime":1471.928,"endTime":1474.931,"body":"kind of kept my head down"},{"startTime":1471.928,"endTime":1474.931,"body":"and worked hard and didn't."},{"startTime":1474.931,"endTime":1478.768,"body":"And I wasn't very like,"},{"startTime":1474.931,"endTime":1478.768,"body":"you know, I when I waited tables"},{"startTime":1478.768,"endTime":1481.73,"body":"at Casa, Lupita and Naperville, Illinois,"},{"startTime":1481.855,"endTime":1484.733,"body":"all like the career waitresses"},{"startTime":1484.733,"endTime":1488.528,"body":"after, you know, a number of months"},{"startTime":1484.733,"endTime":1488.528,"body":"working there,"},{"startTime":1488.612,"endTime":1491.49,"body":"you know, it's like cigaret ladies"},{"startTime":1488.612,"endTime":1491.49,"body":"when they were like,"},{"startTime":1491.49,"endTime":1494.326,"body":"we thought you were all that"},{"startTime":1491.49,"endTime":1494.326,"body":"you were stuck up."},{"startTime":1494.326,"endTime":1495.16,"body":"Prick."},{"startTime":1495.16,"endTime":1497.787,"body":"Yeah, No, I just was working."},{"startTime":1497.787,"endTime":1498.872,"body":"You know, And I wasn't."},{"startTime":1498.872,"endTime":1502.209,"body":"I just was wanted to fit in"},{"startTime":1498.872,"endTime":1502.209,"body":"and wanted to keep my head down"},{"startTime":1502.459,"endTime":1503.96,"body":"and that was on film sets."},{"startTime":1503.96,"endTime":1505.629,"body":"I was like that, you know, if you're,"},{"startTime":1505.629,"endTime":1509.841,"body":"if you're easy to be with"},{"startTime":1505.629,"endTime":1509.841,"body":"and you work hard, you can keep doing it."},{"startTime":1509.841,"endTime":1510.967,"body":"And that's the best."},{"startTime":1510.967,"endTime":1513.595,"body":"Which nobody you know, nobody."},{"startTime":1513.595,"endTime":1518.099,"body":"I don't know if they they teach that,"},{"startTime":1513.595,"endTime":1518.099,"body":"but it's like I still would see like on"},{"startTime":1518.099,"endTime":1522.854,"body":"the CONAN show, there'd be interns"},{"startTime":1518.099,"endTime":1522.854,"body":"that would come in and complain to us,"},{"startTime":1522.854,"endTime":1526.483,"body":"to the writers, about how they're not"},{"startTime":1522.854,"endTime":1526.483,"body":"really getting to do anything creative."},{"startTime":1526.691,"endTime":1527.817,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":1527.817,"endTime":1530.612,"body":"I mean, it just and just jaw dropping."},{"startTime":1530.612,"endTime":1533.532,"body":"Oh, yeah. What did you think this was?"},{"startTime":1533.532,"endTime":1536.535,"body":"And I'm I'm always amazed that,"},{"startTime":1536.618,"endTime":1539.955,"body":"you know, when someone's, like,"},{"startTime":1536.618,"endTime":1539.955,"body":"shadowing a director or something, like,"},{"startTime":1539.996,"endTime":1542.999,"body":"in the writers room, there's,"},{"startTime":1539.996,"endTime":1542.999,"body":"you know, maybe a young writer there"},{"startTime":1543.124,"endTime":1546.002,"body":"or someone who wants to be a writer"},{"startTime":1543.124,"endTime":1546.002,"body":"and then they don't say anything"},{"startTime":1546.002,"endTime":1546.711,"body":"the whole time."},{"startTime":1546.711,"endTime":1550.715,"body":"They don't get anything in a script"},{"startTime":1546.711,"endTime":1550.715,"body":"except, their lunch order."},{"startTime":1550.799,"endTime":1554.094,"body":"And I always want I'm so close to saying,"},{"startTime":1550.799,"endTime":1554.094,"body":"now, whose kid are you?"},{"startTime":1554.219,"endTime":1555.136,"body":"Yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":1555.136,"endTime":1555.72,"body":"Whose kid?"},{"startTime":1555.72,"endTime":1557.931,"body":"What the fuck are you doing"},{"startTime":1555.72,"endTime":1557.931,"body":"here? Whose kid are you?"},{"startTime":1557.931,"endTime":1561.643,"body":"What favors this that were, you know,"},{"startTime":1557.931,"endTime":1561.643,"body":"like you're sitting here like a blob"},{"startTime":1561.643,"endTime":1564.229,"body":"doing nothing and whatever?"},{"startTime":1561.643,"endTime":1564.229,"body":"I don't know. Interested in that?"},{"startTime":1564.229,"endTime":1566.773,"body":"Not even that ego isn't the right word,"},{"startTime":1564.229,"endTime":1566.773,"body":"but just people's different,"},{"startTime":1566.773,"endTime":1570.443,"body":"like kind of orbits and things"},{"startTime":1566.773,"endTime":1570.443,"body":"when they cause being on a talk show"},{"startTime":1570.527,"endTime":1574.614,"body":"is at this weird intersection"},{"startTime":1570.527,"endTime":1574.614,"body":"of absolute movie star musical."},{"startTime":1574.614,"endTime":1575.115,"body":"Just everything."},{"startTime":1575.115,"endTime":1576.866,"body":"Yeah. Yeah. Who?"},{"startTime":1576.866,"endTime":1578.952,"body":"Because the mood has to change every day."},{"startTime":1578.952,"endTime":1580.412,"body":"Yeah. Based on who's going to be there."},{"startTime":1580.412,"endTime":1582.08,"body":"Yeah. And you've got to be on your feet."},{"startTime":1582.08,"endTime":1585.083,"body":"I mean, that was like,"},{"startTime":1582.08,"endTime":1585.083,"body":"I didn't set out to be myself, you know?"},{"startTime":1585.125,"endTime":1589.17,"body":"I mean, after Yeah,"},{"startTime":1585.125,"endTime":1589.17,"body":"I wanted to be a broadcaster."},{"startTime":1589.337,"endTime":1590.13,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":1590.13,"endTime":1593.133,"body":"But yeah, but I had, I mean I had the,"},{"startTime":1593.3,"endTime":1597.262,"body":"you know, I had the ability to"},{"startTime":1593.3,"endTime":1597.262,"body":"and it is a genetic thing."},{"startTime":1597.262,"endTime":1600.056,"body":"I got a lot of wise crackers in my family."},{"startTime":1600.056,"endTime":1603.81,"body":"They're very funny, quick people and,"},{"startTime":1603.893,"endTime":1607.606,"body":"and I had that ability"},{"startTime":1603.893,"endTime":1607.606,"body":"and then like any muscle, you know,"},{"startTime":1607.606,"endTime":1612.193,"body":"you exercise it and they get stronger"},{"startTime":1607.606,"endTime":1612.193,"body":"and improv gave me that."},{"startTime":1612.277,"endTime":1614.112,"body":"It also kind of"},{"startTime":1614.112,"endTime":1617.198,"body":"and I mean,"},{"startTime":1614.112,"endTime":1617.198,"body":"I don't know if it's a midwestern thing,"},{"startTime":1617.198,"endTime":1622.704,"body":"but I also was more unimpressed than most"},{"startTime":1622.787,"endTime":1627.709,"body":"by a lot of the stuff and always"},{"startTime":1622.787,"endTime":1627.709,"body":"just kind of had the suspicion,"},{"startTime":1627.751,"endTime":1630.42,"body":"like I said about David Letterman, like"},{"startTime":1630.42,"endTime":1632.964,"body":"you know, this isn't nearly as big a deal"},{"startTime":1630.42,"endTime":1632.964,"body":"as you think it is."},{"startTime":1632.964,"endTime":1634.174,"body":"Right? Yeah."},{"startTime":1634.174,"endTime":1637.385,"body":"And that's when we were talking"},{"startTime":1634.174,"endTime":1637.385,"body":"a little bit earlier about award shows"},{"startTime":1637.385,"endTime":1638.47,"body":"before we started."},{"startTime":1638.47,"endTime":1639.929,"body":"That's what I always come away with."},{"startTime":1639.929,"endTime":1642.265,"body":"It's like, take it easy."},{"startTime":1642.349,"endTime":1643.475,"body":"I just fucking."},{"startTime":1643.475,"endTime":1645.268,"body":"Oh, you know what?"},{"startTime":1645.268,"endTime":1647.52,"body":"Yeah, but you know, also men."},{"startTime":1647.52,"endTime":1653.276,"body":"So you saw, like, firsthand"},{"startTime":1647.52,"endTime":1653.276,"body":"how dumb actors are sometimes."},{"startTime":1653.36,"endTime":1655.403,"body":"I mean, for the most part, I'm right."},{"startTime":1655.403,"endTime":1657.656,"body":"I'm always like, Holy fuck, you sure."},{"startTime":1657.656,"endTime":1658.99,"body":"Well, to when you think, you know,"},{"startTime":1658.99,"endTime":1662.577,"body":"I feel bad for a lot of a lot of these"},{"startTime":1658.99,"endTime":1662.577,"body":"young people, you know."},{"startTime":1662.786,"endTime":1667.707,"body":"Well, not now, but then or, you know,"},{"startTime":1662.786,"endTime":1667.707,"body":"even like maybe 15, 20 years ago,"},{"startTime":1667.916,"endTime":1671.044,"body":"they dropped out of high school"},{"startTime":1667.916,"endTime":1671.044,"body":"or whatever they were, child stars."},{"startTime":1671.294,"endTime":1673.338,"body":"They didn't finish their education."},{"startTime":1673.338,"endTime":1676.841,"body":"They just kept"},{"startTime":1673.338,"endTime":1676.841,"body":"trying to be on TV or in movies."},{"startTime":1676.925,"endTime":1679.26,"body":"So they are not really a fully developed"},{"startTime":1676.925,"endTime":1679.26,"body":"person."},{"startTime":1679.26,"endTime":1679.844,"body":"Yeah, no that"},{"startTime":1679.844,"endTime":1684.391,"body":"and especially and yeah, and raised"},{"startTime":1679.844,"endTime":1684.391,"body":"like an animal that sets up for treats."},{"startTime":1684.474,"endTime":1687.477,"body":"I know like, oh my God."},{"startTime":1687.644,"endTime":1690.438,"body":"I always, I have always felt"},{"startTime":1690.438,"endTime":1693.483,"body":"like whenever"},{"startTime":1690.438,"endTime":1693.483,"body":"there's somebody like Jennifer Lawrence,"},{"startTime":1693.483,"endTime":1694.818,"body":"she was on the CONAN show"},{"startTime":1694.818,"endTime":1698.488,"body":"a little bit like when she started out"},{"startTime":1694.818,"endTime":1698.488,"body":"and she was a big fan of the show."},{"startTime":1698.571,"endTime":1700.949,"body":"And in talking to her, she's really cool."},{"startTime":1700.949,"endTime":1705.412,"body":"And yeah, she's like Kentucky or Tennessee"},{"startTime":1700.949,"endTime":1705.412,"body":"or somewhere, just like a really cool."},{"startTime":1705.412,"endTime":1710.291,"body":"And I just I would worry sick about myself"},{"startTime":1705.412,"endTime":1710.291,"body":"worried, sick about like,"},{"startTime":1710.291,"endTime":1713.294,"body":"oh my God, they're just going to chew you,"},{"startTime":1710.291,"endTime":1713.294,"body":"you know,"},{"startTime":1713.545,"endTime":1718.55,"body":"I don't know whether or not they have,"},{"startTime":1713.545,"endTime":1718.55,"body":"but it's just I would never, ever"},{"startTime":1718.633,"endTime":1723.888,"body":"let my, my, my daughter, who's 18 now,"},{"startTime":1718.633,"endTime":1723.888,"body":"there was a couple times"},{"startTime":1723.888,"endTime":1726.558,"body":"because she went to school with kids"},{"startTime":1723.888,"endTime":1726.558,"body":"that were working actors"},{"startTime":1726.558,"endTime":1729.519,"body":"and she would ask me to do it"},{"startTime":1726.558,"endTime":1729.519,"body":"and I would say, No, really?"},{"startTime":1729.519,"endTime":1731.02,"body":"I would say, No, I will not."},{"startTime":1731.02,"endTime":1733.982,"body":"I said, If you get to 16"},{"startTime":1731.02,"endTime":1733.982,"body":"and you want to work,"},{"startTime":1734.232,"endTime":1738.069,"body":"you can get a job at the grocery store"},{"startTime":1734.232,"endTime":1738.069,"body":"where you can, you know,"},{"startTime":1738.111,"endTime":1739.529,"body":"work at a coffee shop or something."},{"startTime":1739.529,"endTime":1742.741,"body":"That's where I was like,"},{"startTime":1739.529,"endTime":1742.741,"body":"But no, you cannot do this."},{"startTime":1742.824,"endTime":1745.577,"body":"And when she asked me"},{"startTime":1742.824,"endTime":1745.577,"body":"why, I said, Because you'll be"},{"startTime":1745.577,"endTime":1748.997,"body":"surrounded"},{"startTime":1745.577,"endTime":1748.997,"body":"by people who are making money off of you."},{"startTime":1748.997,"endTime":1752.041,"body":"First and foremost, I am pretty much"},{"startTime":1748.997,"endTime":1752.041,"body":"the beginning and end of it."},{"startTime":1752.041,"endTime":1754.961,"body":"Yeah. And."},{"startTime":1752.041,"endTime":1754.961,"body":"And they will tell you they love you."},{"startTime":1754.961,"endTime":1757.13,"body":"They will tell you that you're fantastic."},{"startTime":1757.13,"endTime":1760.133,"body":"They will tell you that all of the money"},{"startTime":1760.133,"endTime":1764.22,"body":"and the work is secondary to"},{"startTime":1760.133,"endTime":1764.22,"body":"how much they care about you as a person."},{"startTime":1764.304,"endTime":1768.767,"body":"While they are judging your looks,"},{"startTime":1764.304,"endTime":1768.767,"body":"your voice, how fat you are,"},{"startTime":1768.767,"endTime":1772.604,"body":"how thin you are, or you're just,"},{"startTime":1768.767,"endTime":1772.604,"body":"you know, your mood,"},{"startTime":1772.687,"endTime":1775.69,"body":"whether if you're not feeling it,"},{"startTime":1772.687,"endTime":1775.69,"body":"they'll judge you for that."},{"startTime":1775.69,"endTime":1779.652,"body":"And they said you just"},{"startTime":1775.69,"endTime":1779.652,"body":"that's hard enough to do as an adult."},{"startTime":1779.694,"endTime":1780.528,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1780.528,"endTime":1783.531,"body":"In that sort of like intense judgment"},{"startTime":1783.698,"endTime":1788.495,"body":"it is unmooring to the most secure person"},{"startTime":1783.698,"endTime":1788.495,"body":"in the world."},{"startTime":1788.495,"endTime":1792.04,"body":"And to do that to a child"},{"startTime":1788.495,"endTime":1792.04,"body":"is just it's fucked up."},{"startTime":1792.04,"endTime":1792.665,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1792.665,"endTime":1796.127,"body":"when I left my ex-wife,"},{"startTime":1792.665,"endTime":1796.127,"body":"I moved into an apartment"},{"startTime":1796.127,"endTime":1800.423,"body":"building in Burbank that was like"},{"startTime":1796.127,"endTime":1800.423,"body":"a new fancy apartment building."},{"startTime":1800.673,"endTime":1803.593,"body":"And there were tons of people"},{"startTime":1800.673,"endTime":1803.593,"body":"from out of town"},{"startTime":1803.593,"endTime":1806.721,"body":"that were parents"},{"startTime":1803.593,"endTime":1806.721,"body":"that were like acting kids."},{"startTime":1806.805,"endTime":1808.848,"body":"Oh, you're Ohio."},{"startTime":1808.848,"endTime":1810.058,"body":"And my son has a"},{"startTime":1810.058,"endTime":1814.938,"body":"my son's one of the kids in the classroom"},{"startTime":1810.058,"endTime":1814.938,"body":"at young Sheldon or something like that."},{"startTime":1815.021,"endTime":1815.897,"body":"Oh, no."},{"startTime":1815.897,"endTime":1819.734,"body":"And he's like, And I was"},{"startTime":1815.897,"endTime":1819.734,"body":"I was just thinking, like the pressure."},{"startTime":1819.776,"endTime":1823.988,"body":"Yeah, like, And it's something you learn"},{"startTime":1819.776,"endTime":1823.988,"body":"as a parent, like to let children be in"},{"startTime":1823.988,"endTime":1825.49,"body":"charge is cruelty."},{"startTime":1825.49,"endTime":1828.576,"body":"Yes. Child be in charge is cruel."},{"startTime":1828.576,"endTime":1832.288,"body":"I mean, the Romanoffs. Did it for. Yes."},{"startTime":1832.372,"endTime":1832.914,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1832.914,"endTime":1833.748,"body":"Oh, my God."},{"startTime":1833.748,"endTime":1836.292,"body":"But even like when you got"},{"startTime":1833.748,"endTime":1836.292,"body":"in, when your kid is, you know,"},{"startTime":1836.292,"endTime":1841.172,"body":"I have a four year old now and I and"},{"startTime":1836.292,"endTime":1841.172,"body":"my wife was a single mom when I met her."},{"startTime":1841.172,"endTime":1846.219,"body":"And there was this she had this little"},{"startTime":1841.172,"endTime":1846.219,"body":"child who there's no other babies around."},{"startTime":1846.219,"endTime":1849.806,"body":"So it's grandparents and aunt and uncle"},{"startTime":1846.219,"endTime":1849.806,"body":"are catering to this child"},{"startTime":1849.889,"endTime":1851.641,"body":"and she runs them."},{"startTime":1851.641,"endTime":1856.646,"body":"She still she goes to Gammy and Gammy,"},{"startTime":1851.641,"endTime":1856.646,"body":"she runs that fucking household."},{"startTime":1856.729,"endTime":1858.731,"body":"And it's not good for her."},{"startTime":1858.731,"endTime":1863.027,"body":"It's it ultimately, children"},{"startTime":1858.731,"endTime":1863.027,"body":"want to know that they're protected"},{"startTime":1863.111,"endTime":1867.156,"body":"and that then that somebody else"},{"startTime":1863.111,"endTime":1867.156,"body":"is in charge because it's scary, you know?"},{"startTime":1867.24,"endTime":1868.533,"body":"So, Andy, your stepdad."},{"startTime":1868.533,"endTime":1872.12,"body":"I am now, but I adopted her, so I am her."},{"startTime":1872.203,"endTime":1874.747,"body":"Oh, okay. That's nice. Adoptive. Dog."},{"startTime":1874.747,"endTime":1877.75,"body":"So you can like, you know, discipline"},{"startTime":1874.747,"endTime":1877.75,"body":"her and just say, look."},{"startTime":1877.75,"endTime":1880.753,"body":"Yeah. No, you're not that you're not"},{"startTime":1877.75,"endTime":1880.753,"body":"you're not the first person around here."},{"startTime":1880.753,"endTime":1881.838,"body":"You are not that."},{"startTime":1881.838,"endTime":1884.841,"body":"I might not like her."},{"startTime":1884.841,"endTime":1886.843,"body":"No. Yeah, of course not."},{"startTime":1886.843,"endTime":1890.805,"body":"But I started to say like"},{"startTime":1886.843,"endTime":1890.805,"body":"there was never a hammer."},{"startTime":1890.805,"endTime":1891.431,"body":"And I was."},{"startTime":1891.431,"endTime":1897.145,"body":"And all of a sudden there's a hammer and"},{"startTime":1891.431,"endTime":1897.145,"body":"the time it happened you know, when my."},{"startTime":1897.145,"endTime":1900.106,"body":"wife and I were dating"},{"startTime":1897.145,"endTime":1900.106,"body":"and I was at her house and."},{"startTime":1900.106,"endTime":1902.609,"body":"it was time for Cornelia to go to bed."},{"startTime":1902.609,"endTime":1903.86,"body":"Cornelia And they."},{"startTime":1903.86,"endTime":1909.324,"body":"And but her and it's or Coco"},{"startTime":1903.86,"endTime":1909.324,"body":"which I was like Team Coco."},{"startTime":1909.407,"endTime":1910.742,"body":"Oh no."},{"startTime":1910.742,"endTime":1911.534,"body":"Oh God."},{"startTime":1911.534,"endTime":1912.785,"body":"Dammit, Can't you get away."},{"startTime":1912.785,"endTime":1917.29,"body":"For something else? Oh,"},{"startTime":1917.373,"endTime":1920.793,"body":"I. But it was, it was that night"},{"startTime":1920.877,"endTime":1923.546,"body":"and it was the beginning"},{"startTime":1920.877,"endTime":1923.546,"body":"of the negotiations."},{"startTime":1923.546,"endTime":1925.214,"body":"I'm like, I got to go to bed."},{"startTime":1925.214,"endTime":1927.258,"body":"No, I won't. No, I won't. No,"},{"startTime":1925.214,"endTime":1927.258,"body":"I want no one."},{"startTime":1927.258,"endTime":1928.843,"body":"And I finally just was like."},{"startTime":1928.843,"endTime":1931.471,"body":"it's time to go to bed."},{"startTime":1928.843,"endTime":1931.471,"body":"You got to go to bed."},{"startTime":1931.471,"endTime":1932.764,"body":"And she said, No."},{"startTime":1932.764,"endTime":1934.474,"body":"And I said, I'm going to count to three."},{"startTime":1934.474,"endTime":1938.603,"body":"And I said, And if you say no again,"},{"startTime":1934.474,"endTime":1938.603,"body":"I'm going to pick you up and just go"},{"startTime":1938.603,"endTime":1944.275,"body":"and put you in bed, which for her,"},{"startTime":1938.603,"endTime":1944.275,"body":"I can still I live in fear of the day"},{"startTime":1944.275,"endTime":1947.487,"body":"when she realizes that me saying,"},{"startTime":1944.275,"endTime":1947.487,"body":"if you don't"},{"startTime":1947.487,"endTime":1950.531,"body":"get into your car seat and buckle yourself"},{"startTime":1947.487,"endTime":1950.531,"body":"in, I'm going to do it."},{"startTime":1950.782,"endTime":1955.495,"body":"But that's nothing like that's like,"},{"startTime":1950.782,"endTime":1955.495,"body":"Oh my God, no fucking way."},{"startTime":1955.495,"endTime":1956.079,"body":"If I let it."},{"startTime":1956.079,"endTime":1958.456,"body":"You want me in my car, you know?"},{"startTime":1958.456,"endTime":1960.917,"body":"Oh, child, that day you."},{"startTime":1960.917,"endTime":1962.251,"body":"I push an elevator button."},{"startTime":1962.251,"endTime":1966.422,"body":"She's fucking fear. Oh, I am. I'm 41."},{"startTime":1966.506,"endTime":1967.173,"body":"You can't."},{"startTime":1967.173,"endTime":1968.049,"body":"Oh, my gosh."},{"startTime":1968.049,"endTime":1969.842,"body":"Let me just know that button."},{"startTime":1968.049,"endTime":1969.842,"body":"I got to push it."},{"startTime":1969.842,"endTime":1972.095,"body":"Oh, it. Was the best"},{"startTime":1969.842,"endTime":1972.095,"body":"because nobody wanted to touch that."},{"startTime":1972.095,"endTime":1972.595,"body":"Right? Right."},{"startTime":1972.595,"endTime":1975.598,"body":"Now, don't fucking let. Me do it. Yeah."},{"startTime":1975.848,"endTime":1977.392,"body":"Oh, man. So."},{"startTime":1977.392,"endTime":1980.103,"body":"So she's too young to say"},{"startTime":1977.392,"endTime":1980.103,"body":"you're not my real father."},{"startTime":1980.103,"endTime":1981.396,"body":"That kind of crap."},{"startTime":1981.396,"endTime":1983.731,"body":"I said that to my my stepdad at 30."},{"startTime":1983.731,"endTime":1985.9,"body":"Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":1983.731,"endTime":1985.9,"body":"That's the kind of asshole."},{"startTime":1985.9,"endTime":1986.776,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":1986.776,"endTime":1989.195,"body":"My mom just got married for the first time"},{"startTime":1986.776,"endTime":1989.195,"body":"when she."},{"startTime":1989.195,"endTime":1990.405,"body":"When I was 30."},{"startTime":1990.405,"endTime":1993.366,"body":"And if my dad would say it,"},{"startTime":1990.405,"endTime":1993.366,"body":"my stepdad would say anything like."},{"startTime":1993.366,"endTime":1994.909,"body":"So how's it going?"},{"startTime":1993.366,"endTime":1994.909,"body":"I said, I don't have to hear that."},{"startTime":1994.909,"endTime":1997.245,"body":"But you're not."},{"startTime":1997.245,"endTime":1999.372,"body":"My real deep thought was."},{"startTime":1999.372,"endTime":2000.248,"body":"I don't know."},{"startTime":2000.248,"endTime":2004.085,"body":"I don't know. I mean, he was a sheriff."},{"startTime":2000.248,"endTime":2004.085,"body":"We didn't have a lot in common."},{"startTime":2004.127,"endTime":2004.544,"body":"Really?"},{"startTime":2004.544,"endTime":2007.046,"body":"Married. A narc? Yeah. Oh, wow."},{"startTime":2007.046,"endTime":2007.505,"body":"It was funny."},{"startTime":2007.505,"endTime":2011.259,"body":"He was a nice,"},{"startTime":2007.505,"endTime":2011.259,"body":"you know, like a small neighborhood cop."},{"startTime":2011.259,"endTime":2013.636,"body":"Yeah. Yeah, It was so crazy. Yeah."},{"startTime":2013.636,"endTime":2015.013,"body":"That's so."},{"startTime":2015.013,"endTime":2015.847,"body":"Anyway, I'm so."},{"startTime":2015.847,"endTime":2018.85,"body":"You guys are two kids"},{"startTime":2015.847,"endTime":2018.85,"body":"also that are 20 here. 19?"},{"startTime":2018.891,"endTime":2019.308,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2019.308,"endTime":2021.269,"body":"I'm scared of anyone who's going with me,"},{"startTime":2021.269,"endTime":2023.73,"body":"because that's kind of two different"},{"startTime":2021.269,"endTime":2023.73,"body":"generations. Yes or no."},{"startTime":2023.73,"endTime":2025.857,"body":"Yeah. Yeah,"},{"startTime":2023.73,"endTime":2025.857,"body":"it is a little bit. Yeah, I guess."},{"startTime":2025.857,"endTime":2030.028,"body":"Well, I mean honestly"},{"startTime":2025.857,"endTime":2030.028,"body":"she's going to turn four next month"},{"startTime":2030.111,"endTime":2033.197,"body":"and there's no,"},{"startTime":2030.111,"endTime":2033.197,"body":"they're not part of a generation."},{"startTime":2033.197,"endTime":2035.366,"body":"They're fun right. Animals. Yeah."},{"startTime":2035.366,"endTime":2038.745,"body":"It's like you're just dealing"},{"startTime":2035.366,"endTime":2038.745,"body":"you truly are just dealing with an end."},{"startTime":2038.87,"endTime":2039.454,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2039.454,"endTime":2041.205,"body":"You're just trying to rein in."},{"startTime":2041.205,"endTime":2043.082,"body":"But in a way, I think she's really lucky."},{"startTime":2043.082,"endTime":2046.002,"body":"Little Cornelia, to."},{"startTime":2043.082,"endTime":2046.002,"body":"To have you this part of her life."},{"startTime":2046.002,"endTime":2047.503,"body":"Like this is what she's going to remember."},{"startTime":2047.503,"endTime":2050.465,"body":"Like that she's, you know, you're going to"},{"startTime":2047.503,"endTime":2050.465,"body":"she's going to be really she's"},{"startTime":2050.465,"endTime":2053.468,"body":"going to remember how funny you are"},{"startTime":2050.465,"endTime":2053.468,"body":"and how sweet you are."},{"startTime":2053.718,"endTime":2054.802,"body":"More than anything."},{"startTime":2054.802,"endTime":2055.386,"body":"I think so."},{"startTime":2055.386,"endTime":2058.014,"body":"I mean, she still,"},{"startTime":2055.386,"endTime":2058.014,"body":"you know, her mother and her"},{"startTime":2058.014,"endTime":2060.85,"body":"I have a preexisting relationship,"},{"startTime":2058.014,"endTime":2060.85,"body":"so I can't really."},{"startTime":2060.85,"endTime":2062.185,"body":"Yeah. You know."},{"startTime":2062.185,"endTime":2063.436,"body":"Yeah, that's I don't."},{"startTime":2063.436,"endTime":2065.688,"body":"I mean, she doesn't love me,"},{"startTime":2063.436,"endTime":2065.688,"body":"but she's very."},{"startTime":2065.688,"endTime":2067.69,"body":"Mommy, Mommy, you know."},{"startTime":2067.69,"endTime":2070.193,"body":"That was me, my mom,"},{"startTime":2067.69,"endTime":2070.193,"body":"because my dad was never around."},{"startTime":2070.193,"endTime":2073.988,"body":"And so we were always like"},{"startTime":2070.193,"endTime":2073.988,"body":"my mom and I were like, That was it?"},{"startTime":2074.238,"endTime":2076.532,"body":"Yeah. I'm around. Yeah, Yeah."},{"startTime":2076.532,"endTime":2081.579,"body":"And she does love me and like, you know,"},{"startTime":2076.532,"endTime":2081.579,"body":"she'll come like, like, sit on my lap."},{"startTime":2081.579,"endTime":2086.876,"body":"But if I draw any attention to the fact"},{"startTime":2081.579,"endTime":2086.876,"body":"that she, you know, is being physically"},{"startTime":2086.876,"endTime":2089.879,"body":"affectionate or close to me,"},{"startTime":2086.876,"endTime":2089.879,"body":"then she's like, Whoa, fuck that."},{"startTime":2090.088,"endTime":2093.382,"body":"Oh, yeah, definitely. And I'll tell her I."},{"startTime":2093.466,"endTime":2094.634,"body":"I tell her I love her."},{"startTime":2094.634,"endTime":2098.554,"body":"And she goes like,"},{"startTime":2094.634,"endTime":2098.554,"body":"I don't love you. You know,"},{"startTime":2098.638,"endTime":2100.389,"body":"she will tell you she does occasionally."},{"startTime":2100.389,"endTime":2104.685,"body":"But I would say 90% of the time is like,"},{"startTime":2100.389,"endTime":2104.685,"body":"I don't love you."},{"startTime":2104.769,"endTime":2107.105,"body":"And and I'm like, okay, whatever."},{"startTime":2107.105,"endTime":2108.564,"body":"And I said, I still love you."},{"startTime":2108.564,"endTime":2111.984,"body":"And she's like, Well,"},{"startTime":2108.564,"endTime":2111.984,"body":"I don't love you, But it's always like."},{"startTime":2112.068,"endTime":2115.53,"body":"Wait a minute, this is your new wife?"},{"startTime":2115.613,"endTime":2121.911,"body":"Yeah,"},{"startTime":2121.994,"endTime":2123.579,"body":"did you ever live in Italy before?"},{"startTime":2123.579,"endTime":2125.414,"body":"During Konan? Yeah."},{"startTime":2125.414,"endTime":2127.083,"body":"As an actor, I did, Yeah."},{"startTime":2127.083,"endTime":2129.377,"body":"I was, uh,"},{"startTime":2129.377,"endTime":2132.296,"body":"went to film"},{"startTime":2129.377,"endTime":2132.296,"body":"school, had a bunch of friends,"},{"startTime":2132.296,"endTime":2135.299,"body":"and like I said,"},{"startTime":2132.296,"endTime":2135.299,"body":"I was starting to act and wanted to act."},{"startTime":2135.383,"endTime":2138.344,"body":"Thought about, taking classes"},{"startTime":2135.383,"endTime":2138.344,"body":"at Second City."},{"startTime":2138.344,"endTime":2140.638,"body":"Even looked it up in the yellow Pages."},{"startTime":2140.638,"endTime":2142.181,"body":"Oh, good city."},{"startTime":2142.181,"endTime":2145.059,"body":"Like how does it work?"},{"startTime":2145.059,"endTime":2148.229,"body":"But you had a, you were on a you,"},{"startTime":2145.059,"endTime":2148.229,"body":"you had your own show also."},{"startTime":2148.312,"endTime":2148.813,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":2148.813,"endTime":2153.901,"body":"But that's, that's much later, but"},{"startTime":2148.813,"endTime":2153.901,"body":"I think, but I, um, I there the annoying"},{"startTime":2153.901,"endTime":2157.53,"body":"student has a show called The Real Life"},{"startTime":2153.901,"endTime":2157.53,"body":"Brady Bunch, and that was a big hit."},{"startTime":2157.53,"endTime":2162.785,"body":"It was like"},{"startTime":2157.53,"endTime":2162.785,"body":"it was adult actors doing reenactments of"},{"startTime":2162.827,"endTime":2164.871,"body":"Brady Bunch episodes that Yeah."},{"startTime":2164.871,"endTime":2166.247,"body":"Brought me to L.A."},{"startTime":2166.247,"endTime":2169.917,"body":"and then I got an agent from there"},{"startTime":2166.247,"endTime":2169.917,"body":"and you know, we did it"},{"startTime":2169.917,"endTime":2173.087,"body":"We were at the Westwood"},{"startTime":2169.917,"endTime":2173.087,"body":"Playhouse and did it."},{"startTime":2173.254,"endTime":2177.049,"body":"We started in New York at the Village"},{"startTime":2173.254,"endTime":2177.049,"body":"Gate, and it was all a bunch of us. Wow."},{"startTime":2177.3,"endTime":2179.26,"body":"Oh, how fun that one."},{"startTime":2179.26,"endTime":2180.803,"body":"It's been amazing."},{"startTime":2180.803,"endTime":2185.099,"body":"here and there was a second cast"},{"startTime":2180.803,"endTime":2185.099,"body":"from Chicago doing it at the Village Gate."},{"startTime":2185.099,"endTime":2186.517,"body":"So it was playing in New York."},{"startTime":2186.517,"endTime":2189.02,"body":"And the real Brady Book here."},{"startTime":2189.02,"endTime":2190.438,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":2190.438,"endTime":2193.482,"body":"It was very popular at the time and"},{"startTime":2190.438,"endTime":2193.482,"body":"it went and it was a very funny in there."},{"startTime":2193.524,"endTime":2197.403,"body":"A lot of you know, it's all about it's,"},{"startTime":2193.524,"endTime":2197.403,"body":"everything's always about execution."},{"startTime":2197.486,"endTime":2200.489,"body":"And they were very"},{"startTime":2197.486,"endTime":2200.489,"body":"they're very talented, funny people,"},{"startTime":2200.74,"endTime":2204.285,"body":"very gifted comedic performers"},{"startTime":2200.74,"endTime":2204.285,"body":"in that thing. So."},{"startTime":2204.327,"endTime":2207.288,"body":"You know, it seems like"},{"startTime":2204.327,"endTime":2207.288,"body":"there should have been like a not a duel,"},{"startTime":2207.288,"endTime":2211.459,"body":"but like brave bunch versus Brady Bunch,"},{"startTime":2207.288,"endTime":2211.459,"body":"like The New Yorker."},{"startTime":2211.5,"endTime":2212.335,"body":"Right, Right."},{"startTime":2212.335,"endTime":2213.502,"body":"Just to see one."},{"startTime":2213.502,"endTime":2214.462,"body":"Of the only shows you can really."},{"startTime":2214.462,"endTime":2216.38,"body":"Do with in New York"},{"startTime":2214.462,"endTime":2216.38,"body":"cast was second string."},{"startTime":2216.38,"endTime":2219.342,"body":"Yeah, I was going to say that. B-team."},{"startTime":2219.592,"endTime":2221.844,"body":"Yeah. Did you"},{"startTime":2221.928,"endTime":2224.43,"body":"New York for"},{"startTime":2224.43,"endTime":2226.182,"body":"Know I was living in Los Angeles."},{"startTime":2226.182,"endTime":2230.061,"body":"I went from New York to L.A."},{"startTime":2230.269,"endTime":2230.686,"body":"and then."},{"startTime":2230.686,"endTime":2233.397,"body":"The Brady Bunch"},{"startTime":2230.686,"endTime":2233.397,"body":"kind of then turned into the Ice Capades"},{"startTime":2233.397,"endTime":2235.399,"body":"and was doing one"},{"startTime":2233.397,"endTime":2235.399,"body":"nighters around the country."},{"startTime":2235.399,"endTime":2237.944,"body":"I did not want to do that. Yeah."},{"startTime":2237.944,"endTime":2242.99,"body":"So I, drove back"},{"startTime":2237.944,"endTime":2242.99,"body":"home, filled up my Toyota pickup"},{"startTime":2242.99,"endTime":2246.41,"body":"with my belongings, and I was sleeping"},{"startTime":2242.99,"endTime":2246.41,"body":"on my mother's couch wondering"},{"startTime":2246.494,"endTime":2249.163,"body":"what the fuck"},{"startTime":2246.494,"endTime":2249.163,"body":"I was going to do with myself."},{"startTime":2249.163,"endTime":2253.834,"body":"And I got a callback for the movie"},{"startTime":2249.163,"endTime":2253.834,"body":"Cabin Boy."},{"startTime":2253.918,"endTime":2256.879,"body":"I went back out to L.A."},{"startTime":2256.879,"endTime":2261.384,"body":"and and that was going to be the beginning"},{"startTime":2256.879,"endTime":2261.384,"body":"of my big film career."},{"startTime":2261.425,"endTime":2262.802,"body":"And it was."},{"startTime":2262.802,"endTime":2268.349,"body":"But yeah, but I mean, but, you know,"},{"startTime":2262.802,"endTime":2268.349,"body":"and I've told this before, but I had the"},{"startTime":2268.432,"endTime":2273.938,"body":"the cabin boy was going to be my nest egg,"},{"startTime":2268.432,"endTime":2273.938,"body":"and it was like a hummingbird"},{"startTime":2274.021,"endTime":2275.147,"body":"real quick."},{"startTime":2275.147,"endTime":2278.15,"body":"And I was applying for jobs"},{"startTime":2278.317,"endTime":2279.443,"body":"at the job."},{"startTime":2279.443,"endTime":2281.862,"body":"CONAN They said, you got it."},{"startTime":2281.862,"endTime":2283.906,"body":"Come to New York."},{"startTime":2283.906,"endTime":2287.827,"body":"I got a call from a theater in Westwood"},{"startTime":2288.077,"endTime":2291.706,"body":"that I got the job"},{"startTime":2288.077,"endTime":2291.706,"body":"as the assistant manager."},{"startTime":2291.789,"endTime":2294.792,"body":"I was say, like, I'm sorry."},{"startTime":2295.001,"endTime":2296.21,"body":"Oh, that's great."},{"startTime":2296.21,"endTime":2299.38,"body":"So afraid of like,"},{"startTime":2296.21,"endTime":2299.38,"body":"being behind the popcorn counter"},{"startTime":2299.38,"endTime":2303.384,"body":"while cabin Boy played at the theater."},{"startTime":2303.467,"endTime":2305.594,"body":"I was living in fear."},{"startTime":2305.594,"endTime":2306.345,"body":"That I was."},{"startTime":2306.345,"endTime":2310.016,"body":"The cabin boy had a lot of press,"},{"startTime":2306.345,"endTime":2310.016,"body":"and it was a movie that had that guy."},{"startTime":2310.099,"endTime":2312.018,"body":"Is a cult and became a cult favorite."},{"startTime":2312.018,"endTime":2315.313,"body":"Yeah, I can remember like the kid"},{"startTime":2312.018,"endTime":2315.313,"body":"because it's a Tim Burton film, right?"},{"startTime":2315.396,"endTime":2317.231,"body":"Tim Burton Pretty."},{"startTime":2317.231,"endTime":2318.316,"body":"Similar."},{"startTime":2318.316,"endTime":2319.817,"body":"Yeah, because it wasn't like this."},{"startTime":2319.817,"endTime":2322.153,"body":"Do you hang out?"},{"startTime":2319.817,"endTime":2322.153,"body":"Do you see Chris Elliott at all?"},{"startTime":2322.153,"endTime":2323.112,"body":"Oh yeah."},{"startTime":2323.112,"endTime":2324.238,"body":"I haven't seen him in a long time."},{"startTime":2324.238,"endTime":2327.783,"body":"I used to see each"},{"startTime":2324.238,"endTime":2327.783,"body":"when I lived in New York City."},{"startTime":2327.825,"endTime":2328.993,"body":"Yeah, Yeah."},{"startTime":2328.993,"endTime":2330.286,"body":"And. But I think he's."},{"startTime":2330.286,"endTime":2331.704,"body":"He's pretty much up in Connecticut."},{"startTime":2331.704,"endTime":2333.414,"body":"I don't even know if you"},{"startTime":2333.414,"endTime":2336.125,"body":"spend too much time in New York City,"},{"startTime":2333.414,"endTime":2336.125,"body":"but I haven't seen him in a long time."},{"startTime":2336.125,"endTime":2342.173,"body":"But he and Adam Resnick, they were,"},{"startTime":2336.125,"endTime":2342.173,"body":"you know, a creative partners and they"},{"startTime":2342.256,"endTime":2343.758,"body":"get a life together."},{"startTime":2343.758,"endTime":2345.009,"body":"Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":2345.009,"endTime":2349.096,"body":"And so, you know, I mean, but,"},{"startTime":2345.009,"endTime":2349.096,"body":"you know, time goes on and I know I."},{"startTime":2349.096,"endTime":2350.097,"body":"Remember seeing it."},{"startTime":2350.097,"endTime":2352.6,"body":"I was the worst job I ever had was on SNL."},{"startTime":2352.6,"endTime":2357.313,"body":"But the fact that he was there"},{"startTime":2352.6,"endTime":2357.313,"body":"made it, like, amazing, him and Janine."},{"startTime":2357.396,"endTime":2359.982,"body":"And but I remember seeing him in New."},{"startTime":2357.396,"endTime":2359.982,"body":"York, rough."},{"startTime":2359.982,"endTime":2361.317,"body":"Oh, jeez."},{"startTime":2361.317,"endTime":2365.488,"body":"Everybody's talking about what"},{"startTime":2361.317,"endTime":2365.488,"body":"Janine says about getting cast on SNL."},{"startTime":2365.571,"endTime":2368.783,"body":"She was as if she was being gifted."},{"startTime":2368.866,"endTime":2372.37,"body":"She was like the native people in America"},{"startTime":2368.866,"endTime":2372.37,"body":"being given the pox."},{"startTime":2372.453,"endTime":2374.413,"body":"Ha, ha."},{"startTime":2374.413,"endTime":2376.707,"body":"Not for me, you know."},{"startTime":2376.707,"endTime":2377.666,"body":"Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":2377.666,"endTime":2380.336,"body":"We used to go"},{"startTime":2377.666,"endTime":2380.336,"body":"because we could go to the afterparty."},{"startTime":2380.336,"endTime":2381.379,"body":"Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":2381.379,"endTime":2385.007,"body":"My wife and I would go to the afterparty."},{"startTime":2385.091,"endTime":2387.676,"body":"the show and then we, you know, go at nice"},{"startTime":2387.676,"endTime":2391.18,"body":"and young and go and see these,"},{"startTime":2387.676,"endTime":2391.18,"body":"go to these parties and had tons of fun."},{"startTime":2391.18,"endTime":2394.642,"body":"And I remember going one"},{"startTime":2391.18,"endTime":2394.642,"body":"that Chris was in."},{"startTime":2394.725,"endTime":2395.434,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2395.434,"endTime":2399.146,"body":"And he was sitting, eating and I came up"},{"startTime":2395.434,"endTime":2399.146,"body":"and I said like,"},{"startTime":2399.355,"endTime":2401.399,"body":"Hey Chris, I saw you in the show."},{"startTime":2399.355,"endTime":2401.399,"body":"You were very funny."},{"startTime":2401.399,"endTime":2407.279,"body":"And you look up with a mouthful of wood"},{"startTime":2401.399,"endTime":2407.279,"body":"when I fucking hate myself."},{"startTime":2407.363,"endTime":2408.406,"body":"Oh my God."},{"startTime":2408.406,"endTime":2410.491,"body":"I'm going to talk to you later, buddy."},{"startTime":2410.491,"endTime":2413.536,"body":"I'll talk to you later. Well, Janine, I."},{"startTime":2413.619,"endTime":2417.456,"body":"When we were, we had the same"},{"startTime":2413.619,"endTime":2417.456,"body":"we had a dressing room together,"},{"startTime":2417.54,"endTime":2421.252,"body":"and so we were we were drinking and watch."},{"startTime":2421.252,"endTime":2422.628,"body":"And I remember like, why?"},{"startTime":2422.628,"endTime":2425.464,"body":"You know, just because we were rarely"},{"startTime":2422.628,"endTime":2425.464,"body":"in any of the sketches or whatever."},{"startTime":2425.464,"endTime":2426.382,"body":"And I remember"},{"startTime":2426.382,"endTime":2429.635,"body":"laughing out loud and Janine said,"},{"startTime":2426.382,"endTime":2429.635,"body":"You can't be laughing at the show."},{"startTime":2429.635,"endTime":2430.594,"body":"What are you watching?"},{"startTime":2430.594,"endTime":2436.183,"body":"And I said, I'm watching the bud Frog."},{"startTime":2436.267,"endTime":2438.769,"body":"And from then I was"},{"startTime":2436.267,"endTime":2438.769,"body":"I mean, I still want to"},{"startTime":2438.769,"endTime":2439.645,"body":"I still want to write"},{"startTime":2439.645,"endTime":2443.399,"body":"and produce commercial commercials"},{"startTime":2439.645,"endTime":2443.399,"body":"because I think the blood frogs or."},{"startTime":2443.482,"endTime":2448.028,"body":"Yeah, the Budweiser frogs were the only"},{"startTime":2443.482,"endTime":2448.028,"body":"thing that made me laugh that year."},{"startTime":2448.112,"endTime":2448.32,"body":"Do you"},{"startTime":2448.32,"endTime":2452.45,"body":"remember that when it was the Budweiser"},{"startTime":2448.32,"endTime":2452.45,"body":"that was"},{"startTime":2452.533,"endTime":2452.992,"body":"was this one?"},{"startTime":2452.992,"endTime":2457.079,"body":"I was in astronomy class when I thought"},{"startTime":2452.992,"endTime":2457.079,"body":"astronomy was just like mindblowing facts"},{"startTime":2457.079,"endTime":2457.83,"body":"about the universe."},{"startTime":2457.83,"endTime":2459.79,"body":"No, I can't give a fuck about this."},{"startTime":2459.79,"endTime":2462.585,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":2462.585,"endTime":2467.006,"body":"And we had this really intense teacher"},{"startTime":2462.585,"endTime":2467.006,"body":"professor and extra credit questions"},{"startTime":2467.006,"endTime":2471.302,"body":"were always sent up Blue Oyster Cult"},{"startTime":2467.006,"endTime":2471.302,"body":"trivia, which was out of nowhere right."},{"startTime":2471.385,"endTime":2473.971,"body":"I knew was about that"},{"startTime":2471.385,"endTime":2473.971,"body":"and I did astronomy crazy,"},{"startTime":2473.971,"endTime":2478.017,"body":"but he was giving us some stern lecture"},{"startTime":2473.971,"endTime":2478.017,"body":"about our grades need to come up"},{"startTime":2478.017,"endTime":2481.312,"body":"because he's not a bad teacher"},{"startTime":2478.017,"endTime":2481.312,"body":"and then someone is ringtone"},{"startTime":2481.312,"endTime":2484.523,"body":"with."},{"startTime":2484.607,"endTime":2489.195,"body":"I can't find your phone"},{"startTime":2489.278,"endTime":2490.196,"body":"back."},{"startTime":2490.196,"endTime":2493.699,"body":"Of that."},{"startTime":2493.782,"endTime":2495.451,"body":"I think about that. Wow."},{"startTime":2495.451,"endTime":2500.122,"body":"Because he"},{"startTime":2495.451,"endTime":2500.122,"body":"the teacher was Silent Fury. You know"},{"startTime":2500.206,"endTime":2500.748,"body":"community"},{"startTime":2500.748,"endTime":2503.834,"body":"college not taking any of this seriously."},{"startTime":2503.876,"endTime":2505.294,"body":"Oh really?"},{"startTime":2505.294,"endTime":2506.545,"body":"And I love that man."},{"startTime":2506.545,"endTime":2507.421,"body":"Were you ever"},{"startTime":2507.421,"endTime":2508.214,"body":"I would ask you,"},{"startTime":2508.214,"endTime":2511.3,"body":"were you ever star struck like when you"},{"startTime":2508.214,"endTime":2511.3,"body":"were getting into the business or."},{"startTime":2511.342,"endTime":2512.968,"body":"Yes. Yes."},{"startTime":2512.968,"endTime":2513.844,"body":"I mean, definitely."},{"startTime":2513.844,"endTime":2516.847,"body":"I mean, I would get I'm"},{"startTime":2516.972,"endTime":2518.807,"body":"I just I would tend to clam up, though."},{"startTime":2518.807,"endTime":2520.851,"body":"I had the good sense to just clam up."},{"startTime":2520.851,"endTime":2525.439,"body":"And like the first big one was"},{"startTime":2520.851,"endTime":2525.439,"body":"and I was on it,"},{"startTime":2525.523,"endTime":2528.859,"body":"we did a bunch, you know, in the late"},{"startTime":2525.523,"endTime":2528.859,"body":"night with CONAN O'Brien started"},{"startTime":2528.859,"endTime":2531.862,"body":"we did a"},{"startTime":2528.859,"endTime":2531.862,"body":"I think like two weeks of test shows,"},{"startTime":2531.987,"endTime":2534.99,"body":"maybe eight something like"},{"startTime":2531.987,"endTime":2534.99,"body":"I mean, it wasn't like five,"},{"startTime":2535.032,"endTime":2537.618,"body":"but we did like,"},{"startTime":2535.032,"endTime":2537.618,"body":"like at least eight passes,"},{"startTime":2537.618,"endTime":2540.704,"body":"you know, not not that much."},{"startTime":2540.788,"endTime":2544.833,"body":"And that was"},{"startTime":2540.788,"endTime":2544.833,"body":"that was no, no, it was it was like, yeah."},{"startTime":2544.875,"endTime":2545.417,"body":"Yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":2545.417,"endTime":2547.753,"body":"No, it's like you got to rehearse."},{"startTime":2547.753,"endTime":2550.214,"body":"I mean, I think probably Do"},{"startTime":2547.753,"endTime":2550.214,"body":"they probably at"},{"startTime":2550.214,"endTime":2553.175,"body":"Well,"},{"startTime":2550.214,"endTime":2553.175,"body":"first of all, talk shows are fucking dead."},{"startTime":2553.175,"endTime":2554.051,"body":"Let's just be so."},{"startTime":2554.051,"endTime":2554.51,"body":"You think so."},{"startTime":2554.51,"endTime":2558.514,"body":"Abso that fascinates"},{"startTime":2554.51,"endTime":2558.514,"body":"are in the fucking Grindhouse for a while"},{"startTime":2558.597,"endTime":2561.1,"body":"because nobody gives a shit anymore,"},{"startTime":2558.597,"endTime":2561.1,"body":"right? Mm."},{"startTime":2561.1,"endTime":2561.684,"body":"Too much."},{"startTime":2561.684,"endTime":2566.146,"body":"There's too much to pay attention to."},{"startTime":2566.23,"endTime":2568.399,"body":"There's too much else going on."},{"startTime":2568.399,"endTime":2571.11,"body":"They exist because of publicity."},{"startTime":2571.11,"endTime":2571.86,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":2571.86,"endTime":2574.822,"body":"Well, they exist"},{"startTime":2571.86,"endTime":2574.822,"body":"first of all because they're cheap."},{"startTime":2574.822,"endTime":2578.367,"body":"They're in fact they're one"},{"startTime":2574.822,"endTime":2578.367,"body":"of the cheapest hours of television"},{"startTime":2578.367,"endTime":2582.079,"body":"possible is a talk show because, you know,"},{"startTime":2582.162,"endTime":2585.499,"body":"you're not it's like, you know, you get"},{"startTime":2582.162,"endTime":2585.499,"body":"that you already paid for the room,"},{"startTime":2585.583,"endTime":2589.253,"body":"you got the band,"},{"startTime":2585.583,"endTime":2589.253,"body":"you know, and the audience."},{"startTime":2589.336,"endTime":2591.005,"body":"But it was always"},{"startTime":2591.005,"endTime":2595.009,"body":"was the thing that drove it was"},{"startTime":2591.005,"endTime":2595.009,"body":"the publicity was getting plugs in was and"},{"startTime":2595.009,"endTime":2598.971,"body":"and now plugs are everywhere"},{"startTime":2595.009,"endTime":2598.971,"body":"right that you have"},{"startTime":2599.054,"endTime":2601.849,"body":"you know I could open my phone"},{"startTime":2599.054,"endTime":2601.849,"body":"and I there would be a plug"},{"startTime":2601.849,"endTime":2604.643,"body":"before I could see anything from a friend,"},{"startTime":2601.849,"endTime":2604.643,"body":"you know."},{"startTime":2604.643,"endTime":2605.185,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2605.185,"endTime":2607.229,"body":"So that doesn't matter anymore."},{"startTime":2607.229,"endTime":2610.024,"body":"Young people don't give a shit. Mm hmm."},{"startTime":2610.024,"endTime":2611.942,"body":"I think network TV's done, too."},{"startTime":2611.942,"endTime":2613.068,"body":"I mean, I feel like sitcoms."},{"startTime":2613.068,"endTime":2616.071,"body":"I mean,"},{"startTime":2613.068,"endTime":2616.071,"body":"I think sitcoms are definitely there."},{"startTime":2616.071,"endTime":2618.616,"body":"People will be what's old people won't."},{"startTime":2618.616,"endTime":2621.869,"body":"People in young people and rural people,"},{"startTime":2618.616,"endTime":2621.869,"body":"I think."},{"startTime":2621.994,"endTime":2624.496,"body":"Yeah, nobody nobody cares."},{"startTime":2624.496,"endTime":2628.459,"body":"And even,"},{"startTime":2624.496,"endTime":2628.459,"body":"you know, the CONAN show, the way people"},{"startTime":2628.459,"endTime":2634.298,"body":"consume those shows"},{"startTime":2628.459,"endTime":2634.298,"body":"now is in clips that they email or oh,"},{"startTime":2634.381,"endTime":2635.466,"body":"a network"},{"startTime":2635.466,"endTime":2639.595,"body":"to create a product,"},{"startTime":2635.466,"endTime":2639.595,"body":"you know, like it's like,"},{"startTime":2639.678,"endTime":2644.558,"body":"a restaurant that people get stuff to go,"},{"startTime":2639.678,"endTime":2644.558,"body":"but they don't pay for it."},{"startTime":2644.642,"endTime":2647.645,"body":"They go sell it out in the parking lot."},{"startTime":2647.853,"endTime":2651.815,"body":"Know they don't you know,"},{"startTime":2647.853,"endTime":2651.815,"body":"I mean, TVs for years"},{"startTime":2651.899,"endTime":2657.071,"body":"who are show existed mostly online"},{"startTime":2651.899,"endTime":2657.071,"body":"and TBS is like paying for this show"},{"startTime":2657.071,"endTime":2661.784,"body":"that is you know is people are consuming"},{"startTime":2657.071,"endTime":2661.784,"body":"from teen Coco and right"},{"startTime":2661.867,"endTime":2664.536,"body":"and TBS did not"},{"startTime":2661.867,"endTime":2664.536,"body":"that was one of the brilliant things"},{"startTime":2664.536,"endTime":2668.332,"body":"Coleman did when he made that shift"},{"startTime":2664.536,"endTime":2668.332,"body":"is that he owned Team Coco."},{"startTime":2668.332,"endTime":2670.626,"body":"So he owned this digital presence"},{"startTime":2670.626,"endTime":2674.213,"body":"and it took years for TBS to work"},{"startTime":2670.626,"endTime":2674.213,"body":"their way into getting a piece."},{"startTime":2674.213,"endTime":2675.714,"body":"Of their show."},{"startTime":2675.714,"endTime":2678.55,"body":"But yeah, and I don't,"},{"startTime":2675.714,"endTime":2678.55,"body":"you know, when James Corden,"},{"startTime":2678.55,"endTime":2683.18,"body":"you know, decided to move on,"},{"startTime":2678.55,"endTime":2683.18,"body":"which is just I don't I don't know"},{"startTime":2683.18,"endTime":2687.017,"body":"if I should I mean, it's impolitic"},{"startTime":2683.18,"endTime":2687.017,"body":"for me to say things like this."},{"startTime":2687.017,"endTime":2687.81,"body":"Like I said,"},{"startTime":2687.81,"endTime":2691.772,"body":"Jimmy Kimmel was on my podcast"},{"startTime":2687.81,"endTime":2691.772,"body":"and I said, Well, you know, nobody watches"},{"startTime":2691.814,"endTime":2693.107,"body":"talk shows anymore."},{"startTime":2693.107,"endTime":2696.11,"body":"Yeah, I was like, I never have."},{"startTime":2696.318,"endTime":2698.57,"body":"Like, I don't it's"},{"startTime":2696.318,"endTime":2698.57,"body":"I don't take it personally."},{"startTime":2698.57,"endTime":2700.072,"body":"Yeah, never did."},{"startTime":2700.072,"endTime":2704.535,"body":"It was, you know, like, oh I guested"},{"startTime":2700.072,"endTime":2704.535,"body":"I did a guest spots on a show once."},{"startTime":2704.535,"endTime":2709.248,"body":"That was well it was it was called"},{"startTime":2704.535,"endTime":2709.248,"body":"The New Adventures of Old Christina."},{"startTime":2709.331,"endTime":2714.128,"body":"Julia Louis-Dreyfus is a divorced mom"},{"startTime":2709.331,"endTime":2714.128,"body":"with a son starting her own"},{"startTime":2714.211,"endTime":2716.672,"body":"like start your own business"},{"startTime":2714.211,"endTime":2716.672,"body":"and trying to start again."},{"startTime":2716.672,"endTime":2719.508,"body":"And I said to one of the other actors"},{"startTime":2716.672,"endTime":2719.508,"body":"on the show at one point,"},{"startTime":2719.508,"endTime":2721.26,"body":"because I was in like six episodes,"},{"startTime":2721.26,"endTime":2724.138,"body":"I said, you know, I said,"},{"startTime":2721.26,"endTime":2724.138,"body":"this is a really funny, well-written show."},{"startTime":2724.138,"endTime":2725.347,"body":"I said, It's not for me."},{"startTime":2725.347,"endTime":2728.976,"body":"I mean, you know, like a story about"},{"startTime":2725.347,"endTime":2728.976,"body":"a, you know, a woman in her forties"},{"startTime":2728.976,"endTime":2730.978,"body":"and reinventing yourself"},{"startTime":2728.976,"endTime":2730.978,"body":"and starting to date."},{"startTime":2730.978,"endTime":2733.605,"body":"Again"},{"startTime":2730.978,"endTime":2733.605,"body":"because who cares about women either."},{"startTime":2733.605,"endTime":2734.44,"body":"Thank you."},{"startTime":2734.44,"endTime":2737.067,"body":"I mean, I got to say, you know."},{"startTime":2737.067,"endTime":2739.862,"body":"Yeah, Who wants to watch?"},{"startTime":2739.862,"endTime":2741.029,"body":"I know who I know."},{"startTime":2741.029,"endTime":2743.365,"body":"Well, you haven't looked at me"},{"startTime":2741.029,"endTime":2743.365,"body":"this whole time."},{"startTime":2743.365,"endTime":2746.744,"body":"You can't make eye contact with me"},{"startTime":2743.365,"endTime":2746.744,"body":"because I'm Lapis."},{"startTime":2746.827,"endTime":2749.788,"body":"I know, I know because I'm over 35."},{"startTime":2749.788,"endTime":2751.081,"body":"So why look at me?"},{"startTime":2751.081,"endTime":2752.332,"body":"But here's the thing."},{"startTime":2752.332,"endTime":2755.169,"body":"I also."},{"startTime":2755.169,"endTime":2755.878,"body":"It's crazy."},{"startTime":2755.878,"endTime":2758.13,"body":"Like how, you know, women over 40"},{"startTime":2755.878,"endTime":2758.13,"body":"shouldn't be on TV."},{"startTime":2758.13,"endTime":2760.841,"body":"I mean, because you know what?"},{"startTime":2758.13,"endTime":2760.841,"body":"Why even look at them, right?"},{"startTime":2760.841,"endTime":2763.635,"body":"You know?"},{"startTime":2760.841,"endTime":2763.635,"body":"You know, I just. Mean that, like,"},{"startTime":2763.719,"endTime":2767.473,"body":"for me, just personally, like men,"},{"startTime":2767.556,"endTime":2769.683,"body":"you know, it's like Nancy Meyers movies."},{"startTime":2769.683,"endTime":2772.561,"body":"I don't. Oh,"},{"startTime":2769.683,"endTime":2772.561,"body":"they don't speak to me either."},{"startTime":2772.561,"endTime":2773.52,"body":"So it's like, you know."},{"startTime":2773.52,"endTime":2776.774,"body":"But I mean, but there's like, you know,"},{"startTime":2773.52,"endTime":2776.774,"body":"I don't not like fucking watching"},{"startTime":2776.774,"endTime":2778.066,"body":"Yellowstone either."},{"startTime":2778.066,"endTime":2778.776,"body":"Yeah, I'm not."},{"startTime":2778.776,"endTime":2779.026,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2779.026,"endTime":2779.902,"body":"You know, I think there's just"},{"startTime":2779.902,"endTime":2783.697,"body":"some things that aren't for me,"},{"startTime":2779.902,"endTime":2783.697,"body":"but this guy was deeply offended."},{"startTime":2783.781,"endTime":2786.742,"body":"But I would say this is really fine,"},{"startTime":2783.781,"endTime":2786.742,"body":"but it's not for me."},{"startTime":2786.742,"endTime":2790.245,"body":"Yeah, you know, I was, like,"},{"startTime":2786.742,"endTime":2790.245,"body":"super deeply offended,"},{"startTime":2790.329,"endTime":2792.539,"body":"so I."},{"startTime":2792.539,"endTime":2793.207,"body":"Oh, no."},{"startTime":2793.207,"endTime":2798.253,"body":"What you said you were saying to Jimmy"},{"startTime":2793.207,"endTime":2798.253,"body":"Kimmel that people don't watch Kimmel so."},{"startTime":2798.253,"endTime":2798.962,"body":"Well, you know,"},{"startTime":2798.962,"endTime":2804.092,"body":"what are like bang zoom ratings"},{"startTime":2798.962,"endTime":2804.092,"body":"now would have got you canceled ten years."},{"startTime":2804.176,"endTime":2804.593,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2804.593,"endTime":2807.262,"body":"You know, just the numbers are just so"},{"startTime":2807.262,"endTime":2810.682,"body":"And he kind of very patiently was like,"},{"startTime":2807.262,"endTime":2810.682,"body":"no, that's not true."},{"startTime":2810.682,"endTime":2813.018,"body":"People are still watching talk shows."},{"startTime":2813.018,"endTime":2816.021,"body":"And I was like, Because he's"},{"startTime":2813.018,"endTime":2816.021,"body":"a friend of mine and I love him."},{"startTime":2816.23,"endTime":2819.775,"body":"And I was like, Oh, okay, yeah,"},{"startTime":2816.23,"endTime":2819.775,"body":"maybe that wasn't"},{"startTime":2819.858,"endTime":2823.987,"body":"like super sensitive for me to say, but,"},{"startTime":2819.858,"endTime":2823.987,"body":"but it's just, but I also too, like,"},{"startTime":2824.071,"endTime":2827.991,"body":"I cannot stomach lying to myself"},{"startTime":2828.075,"endTime":2831.745,"body":"and I cannot stomach falseness."},{"startTime":2831.829,"endTime":2837.167,"body":"And I think it's like a cancer"},{"startTime":2831.829,"endTime":2837.167,"body":"on our lives when you say like,"},{"startTime":2837.167,"endTime":2841.421,"body":"Will James Corden is moving on"},{"startTime":2837.167,"endTime":2841.421,"body":"when it's like no talk shows are dying."},{"startTime":2841.421,"endTime":2842.005,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2842.005,"endTime":2844.258,"body":"MM No, he's getting canceled."},{"startTime":2844.258,"endTime":2847.636,"body":"Is being replaced by a panel game show."},{"startTime":2847.719,"endTime":2851.974,"body":"MM No, because it just does not"},{"startTime":2847.719,"endTime":2851.974,"body":"it doesn't work anymore."},{"startTime":2851.974,"endTime":2856.061,"body":"From a stand up point, it's like"},{"startTime":2851.974,"endTime":2856.061,"body":"Johnny Carson is, I guess, the last of it."},{"startTime":2856.061,"endTime":2858.021,"body":"But it's like a career maker, right?"},{"startTime":2858.021,"endTime":2858.272,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2858.272,"endTime":2862.15,"body":"Those days that were that"},{"startTime":2858.272,"endTime":2862.15,"body":"many people would see one broadcast. Yes."},{"startTime":2862.15,"endTime":2864.069,"body":"It might not even be reruns, Right?"},{"startTime":2864.069,"endTime":2866.238,"body":"Yeah. Is long gone. Yes."},{"startTime":2866.238,"endTime":2867.364,"body":"And thank God."},{"startTime":2867.364,"endTime":2869.867,"body":"You think. Yes, I kind of agree."},{"startTime":2869.867,"endTime":2873.161,"body":"You know, cranky old wife"},{"startTime":2869.867,"endTime":2873.161,"body":"beater should not have that much power."},{"startTime":2873.245,"endTime":2874.705,"body":"Agreed."},{"startTime":2874.705,"endTime":2876.331,"body":"As a gatekeeper. Yes. Yes."},{"startTime":2876.331,"endTime":2879.501,"body":"He has a platform anywhere. Yeah, Yeah."},{"startTime":2879.668,"endTime":2882.796,"body":"I mean, and stand up"},{"startTime":2879.668,"endTime":2882.796,"body":"specials are just not special either."},{"startTime":2882.796,"endTime":2883.881,"body":"We were talking about that."},{"startTime":2883.881,"endTime":2886.174,"body":"There's this, like, lousy."},{"startTime":2883.881,"endTime":2886.174,"body":"There's just filling space."},{"startTime":2886.174,"endTime":2890.012,"body":"Yeah, it's like the album that people"},{"startTime":2886.174,"endTime":2890.012,"body":"don't listen to a full album anymore."},{"startTime":2890.095,"endTime":2892.931,"body":"So the B-side is the single Aware?"},{"startTime":2892.931,"endTime":2894.016,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":2894.016,"endTime":2897.769,"body":"It is weird to watch because it's like"},{"startTime":2894.016,"endTime":2897.769,"body":"especially in variety television,"},{"startTime":2897.769,"endTime":2902.232,"body":"which I guess the talk show is,"},{"startTime":2897.769,"endTime":2902.232,"body":"it's like it's a full solid hour of"},{"startTime":2902.316,"endTime":2907.154,"body":"you have to have a TV show and now it's"},{"startTime":2902.316,"endTime":2907.154,"body":"like nobody wants even that much here."},{"startTime":2907.237,"endTime":2912.117,"body":"I mean, it's like, do you as a creator,"},{"startTime":2907.237,"endTime":2912.117,"body":"struggle with what's going on right now?"},{"startTime":2912.117,"endTime":2913.118,"body":"Take a lot now."},{"startTime":2913.118,"endTime":2915.579,"body":"I don't know what the fuck to do"},{"startTime":2913.118,"endTime":2915.579,"body":"with myself, right?"},{"startTime":2915.579,"endTime":2916.705,"body":"Honestly, I don't know."},{"startTime":2916.705,"endTime":2918.04,"body":"I you know, I"},{"startTime":2918.04,"endTime":2922.544,"body":"and you mentioned I am lucky in that"},{"startTime":2918.04,"endTime":2922.544,"body":"I can do lots of different things."},{"startTime":2922.628,"endTime":2923.086,"body":"And as"},{"startTime":2923.086,"endTime":2927.299,"body":"my time has evolved in this business"},{"startTime":2923.086,"endTime":2927.299,"body":"and I've tried different things, you know,"},{"startTime":2927.341,"endTime":2929.927,"body":"as I said,"},{"startTime":2927.341,"endTime":2929.927,"body":"I said I wanted to be a character actor."},{"startTime":2929.927,"endTime":2933.138,"body":"I just want to be a character actor"},{"startTime":2929.927,"endTime":2933.138,"body":"in movies or television."},{"startTime":2933.221,"endTime":2938.977,"body":"And and I mean, initially when I was young"},{"startTime":2933.221,"endTime":2938.977,"body":"and uppity, it was it was movies."},{"startTime":2939.061,"endTime":2942.773,"body":"And now it's like, well,"},{"startTime":2939.061,"endTime":2942.773,"body":"television's better than movies, right?"},{"startTime":2942.773,"endTime":2943.106,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2943.106,"endTime":2946.61,"body":"So and it doesn't matter,"},{"startTime":2943.106,"endTime":2946.61,"body":"especially at this point."},{"startTime":2946.86,"endTime":2948.695,"body":"I have come to the conclusion"},{"startTime":2946.86,"endTime":2948.695,"body":"because like,"},{"startTime":2948.695,"endTime":2952.449,"body":"one of the things that I can do is I can"},{"startTime":2948.695,"endTime":2952.449,"body":"I'm directing television commercials."},{"startTime":2952.616,"endTime":2954.034,"body":"Oh, great."},{"startTime":2954.034,"endTime":2956.912,"body":"And it's based back from Chicago."},{"startTime":2956.912,"endTime":2960.499,"body":"A guy that I played with"},{"startTime":2956.912,"endTime":2960.499,"body":"is in AP at a company."},{"startTime":2960.499,"endTime":2965.212,"body":"And and I can do that because, you know,"},{"startTime":2960.499,"endTime":2965.212,"body":"one of my main talent and one of my main"},{"startTime":2965.212,"endTime":2971.218,"body":"roles on the college show was producing"},{"startTime":2965.212,"endTime":2971.218,"body":"the show, helping make the show go."},{"startTime":2971.343,"endTime":2972.928,"body":"That needs a new ending."},{"startTime":2972.928,"endTime":2976.348,"body":"which animals should we use"},{"startTime":2972.928,"endTime":2976.348,"body":"in the animal segment You know like"},{"startTime":2976.348,"endTime":2980.811,"body":"cut that elephant or whatever, you know,"},{"startTime":2976.348,"endTime":2980.811,"body":"and and that was and I you know, I like"},{"startTime":2980.811,"endTime":2985.482,"body":"I pen the name of very, very grandiose,"},{"startTime":2980.811,"endTime":2985.482,"body":"but I call myself the Comedy Consigliere."},{"startTime":2985.524,"endTime":2987.693,"body":"GARY Nice."},{"startTime":2987.693,"endTime":2990.988,"body":"CONAN Everybody needs somebody to go."},{"startTime":2990.988,"endTime":2991.863,"body":"Is that funny?"},{"startTime":2991.863,"endTime":2994.199,"body":"Yes, you know, yeah, go Is that funny?"},{"startTime":2994.199,"endTime":2998.203,"body":"Because, I mean, I'll write things"},{"startTime":2994.199,"endTime":2998.203,"body":"and I'm like, I think this is really good."},{"startTime":2998.203,"endTime":3000.455,"body":"And somebody be like and I'm like,"},{"startTime":2998.203,"endTime":3000.455,"body":"oh, okay."},{"startTime":3000.455,"endTime":3003.5,"body":"I guess, you know, you don't"},{"startTime":3000.455,"endTime":3003.5,"body":"you don't know exactly."},{"startTime":3003.583,"endTime":3004.876,"body":"That's why I feel bad for Garrett"},{"startTime":3004.876,"endTime":3008.505,"body":"for living with me, because, like,"},{"startTime":3004.876,"endTime":3008.505,"body":"he gets that every day. Like, if"},{"startTime":3008.588,"endTime":3010.132,"body":"I'm going to do a stand up, is that fine?"},{"startTime":3010.132,"endTime":3012.968,"body":"Now I"},{"startTime":3012.968,"endTime":3014.594,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":3014.594,"endTime":3017.723,"body":"it's also"},{"startTime":3014.594,"endTime":3017.723,"body":"one of the things that I feel like mean,"},{"startTime":3017.848,"endTime":3022.269,"body":"I'm indebted to CONAN for everything,"},{"startTime":3017.848,"endTime":3022.269,"body":"but one of the things is"},{"startTime":3022.269,"endTime":3025.23,"body":"that he invited me"},{"startTime":3022.269,"endTime":3025.23,"body":"into that creative process"},{"startTime":3025.439,"endTime":3029.443,"body":"in a way that I felt needed and necessary"},{"startTime":3029.609,"endTime":3033.03,"body":"rewarded with trust, with ongoing trust."},{"startTime":3033.071,"endTime":3033.488,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3033.488,"endTime":3036.533,"body":"Monologue meetings where he'd read a joke"},{"startTime":3033.488,"endTime":3036.533,"body":"and he'd look at me."},{"startTime":3036.533,"endTime":3038.076,"body":"Yeah. Which was I thought."},{"startTime":3038.076,"endTime":3041.413,"body":"Yeah, but I mean, no, but I mean,"},{"startTime":3038.076,"endTime":3041.413,"body":"in the meeting, like, as weird as weird,"},{"startTime":3041.455,"endTime":3045.292,"body":"you know, they come in with ten jokes"},{"startTime":3041.455,"endTime":3045.292,"body":"and then they went down to, like, three."},{"startTime":3045.333,"endTime":3045.876,"body":"Yeah, Yeah."},{"startTime":3045.876,"endTime":3047.419,"body":"Monologue writers on our show."},{"startTime":3047.419,"endTime":3048.295,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3048.295,"endTime":3050.714,"body":"But, you know, he would look at me"},{"startTime":3048.295,"endTime":3050.714,"body":"and I'd go, now,"},{"startTime":3050.714,"endTime":3053.717,"body":"and again,"},{"startTime":3050.714,"endTime":3053.717,"body":"I'm very blunt about that big change"},{"startTime":3053.842,"endTime":3057.22,"body":"coming from when I left the show"},{"startTime":3053.842,"endTime":3057.22,"body":"in the first place in coming to L.A."},{"startTime":3057.22,"endTime":3059.848,"body":"where you can't tell someone,"},{"startTime":3057.22,"endTime":3059.848,"body":"I don't think that will work."},{"startTime":3059.848,"endTime":3063.935,"body":"You have to like explain"},{"startTime":3059.848,"endTime":3063.935,"body":"to them how great it is"},{"startTime":3064.019,"endTime":3067.022,"body":"and how in a different universe"},{"startTime":3064.019,"endTime":3067.022,"body":"it would be the greatest thing ever."},{"startTime":3067.105,"endTime":3068.69,"body":"I just don't think it would work here."},{"startTime":3068.69,"endTime":3070.15,"body":"I'd be like, Nah, yeah."},{"startTime":3070.15,"endTime":3074.696,"body":"People would be like, Whoa, You know,"},{"startTime":3070.15,"endTime":3074.696,"body":"like, it's like we're all magicians."},{"startTime":3074.821,"endTime":3077.032,"body":"You can't give me does a card trick."},{"startTime":3077.032,"endTime":3079.659,"body":"We don't go, Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":3079.659,"endTime":3080.911,"body":"Oh, my God."},{"startTime":3080.911,"endTime":3082.871,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3082.871,"endTime":3083.663,"body":"But I just."},{"startTime":3083.663,"endTime":3086.75,"body":"You can give me a little comedy script,"},{"startTime":3083.663,"endTime":3086.75,"body":"and I hope I know how to get it"},{"startTime":3086.75,"endTime":3091.296,"body":"to the screen in a in a efficacious way"},{"startTime":3086.75,"endTime":3091.296,"body":"fan tastic."},{"startTime":3091.296,"endTime":3094.299,"body":"I've got like three"},{"startTime":3091.296,"endTime":3094.299,"body":"I would tell you about."},{"startTime":3094.549,"endTime":3098.512,"body":"I'll read them in the way,"},{"startTime":3098.595,"endTime":3102.015,"body":"but I just didn't doing these commercials."},{"startTime":3102.015,"endTime":3106.144,"body":"I just now I just realize like, I just for"},{"startTime":3102.015,"endTime":3106.144,"body":"I just want to be on the set."},{"startTime":3106.228,"endTime":3108.23,"body":"I just love being on the set"},{"startTime":3106.228,"endTime":3108.23,"body":"and making things."},{"startTime":3108.23,"endTime":3109.064,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"startTime":3109.064,"endTime":3112.692,"body":"I don't even really like being in front"},{"startTime":3109.064,"endTime":3112.692,"body":"of an audience that much, to be honest."},{"startTime":3112.692,"endTime":3113.86,"body":"Yeah, I just."},{"startTime":3113.86,"endTime":3117.239,"body":"It's just not my thing."},{"startTime":3113.86,"endTime":3117.239,"body":"I don't. I need it."},{"startTime":3117.322,"endTime":3118.24,"body":"I don't need it."},{"startTime":3118.24,"endTime":3119.074,"body":"They're lovely,"},{"startTime":3119.074,"endTime":3122.953,"body":"wonderful people that are, you know,"},{"startTime":3119.074,"endTime":3122.953,"body":"that are are the reason we're all here."},{"startTime":3122.953,"endTime":3126.164,"body":"But I don't need them in my timing."},{"startTime":3126.331,"endTime":3128.041,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":3128.041,"endTime":3129.668,"body":"I don't need them in my timing."},{"startTime":3129.668,"endTime":3132.087,"body":"I don't, I don't need to have something"},{"startTime":3132.087,"endTime":3135.966,"body":"that we came up with that"},{"startTime":3132.087,"endTime":3135.966,"body":"we know is fucking hilarious."},{"startTime":3135.966,"endTime":3136.55,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3136.55,"endTime":3139.594,"body":"And then have, you know,"},{"startTime":3136.55,"endTime":3139.594,"body":"a bunch of people who it was like, well,"},{"startTime":3139.594,"endTime":3143.348,"body":"they couldn't get into Big Bang Theory,"},{"startTime":3139.594,"endTime":3143.348,"body":"so they're going to go see this."},{"startTime":3143.431,"endTime":3144.349,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":3144.349,"endTime":3146.143,"body":"They don't buy it, right?"},{"startTime":3146.143,"endTime":3148.937,"body":"I'm it's like, well, okay,"},{"startTime":3146.143,"endTime":3148.937,"body":"you're entitled."},{"startTime":3148.937,"endTime":3150.73,"body":"I don't blame you for not buying it."},{"startTime":3150.73,"endTime":3152.44,"body":"You're you, you have your own taste."},{"startTime":3152.44,"endTime":3154.734,"body":"But I'm not going to get hung up on it."},{"startTime":3154.734,"endTime":3157.279,"body":"And it's kind of a nuisance"},{"startTime":3154.734,"endTime":3157.279,"body":"that I have to."},{"startTime":3157.279,"endTime":3157.863,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3157.863,"endTime":3160.282,"body":"When I like a set I like a lot."},{"startTime":3160.282,"endTime":3161.825,"body":"Or our own little group. Yeah."},{"startTime":3161.825,"endTime":3164.828,"body":"We brought our own reality and we said"},{"startTime":3164.828,"endTime":3168.123,"body":"it was all in trucks"},{"startTime":3164.828,"endTime":3168.123,"body":"and we unpacked it and put it down."},{"startTime":3168.248,"endTime":3170.917,"body":"And then when we're done,"},{"startTime":3168.248,"endTime":3170.917,"body":"we pack it up and move away."},{"startTime":3170.917,"endTime":3172.627,"body":"And I just. That's all I want to."},{"startTime":3172.627,"endTime":3177.174,"body":"Do and get what you've written on to,"},{"startTime":3172.627,"endTime":3177.174,"body":"onto the screen without like 5000"},{"startTime":3177.34,"endTime":3178.425,"body":"or even just the audience"},{"startTime":3178.425,"endTime":3181.72,"body":"or the producers, are"},{"startTime":3178.425,"endTime":3181.72,"body":"everybody always like chipping in like,"},{"startTime":3181.72,"endTime":3184.055,"body":"you know,"},{"startTime":3181.72,"endTime":3184.055,"body":"Garrett and I were watching this series"},{"startTime":3184.055,"endTime":3185.807,"body":"last night"},{"startTime":3184.055,"endTime":3185.807,"body":"that we were really looking forward to."},{"startTime":3185.807,"endTime":3189.227,"body":"It was Clive Owen, and it was more sure"},{"startTime":3189.436,"endTime":3192.689,"body":"Spade is about he, about how Sam Spade,"},{"startTime":3189.436,"endTime":3192.689,"body":"you know,"},{"startTime":3192.689,"endTime":3197.611,"body":"the legendary detective, moved to France"},{"startTime":3192.689,"endTime":3197.611,"body":"and whatever, but I could tell."},{"startTime":3197.694,"endTime":3199.905,"body":"Yeah. Oh, yeah, it was on. Yeah,"},{"startTime":3197.694,"endTime":3199.905,"body":"it was just on."},{"startTime":3199.905,"endTime":3203.116,"body":"And I could tell"},{"startTime":3199.905,"endTime":3203.116,"body":"just from being in writers rooms"},{"startTime":3203.116,"endTime":3206.161,"body":"and everything that everyone"},{"startTime":3203.116,"endTime":3206.161,"body":"had their point of view."},{"startTime":3206.369,"endTime":3209.372,"body":"Everyone had to get their,"},{"startTime":3206.369,"endTime":3209.372,"body":"their little shit in there."},{"startTime":3209.497,"endTime":3213.418,"body":"And so it's, so it's, it's watered down"},{"startTime":3209.497,"endTime":3213.418,"body":"and there's no point of view."},{"startTime":3213.418,"endTime":3216.421,"body":"I hear writers rooms"},{"startTime":3213.418,"endTime":3216.421,"body":"all the time. It makes."},{"startTime":3216.546,"endTime":3217.214,"body":"Oh, it's awful."},{"startTime":3217.214,"endTime":3220.967,"body":"To keep my mouth shut around other people"},{"startTime":3217.214,"endTime":3220.967,"body":"because it's no fun to watch TV with me."},{"startTime":3221.218,"endTime":3221.927,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3221.927,"endTime":3224.679,"body":"Oh yeah. Because I just I can. Hear, yeah."},{"startTime":3224.679,"endTime":3227.933,"body":"I can hear whatever"},{"startTime":3224.679,"endTime":3227.933,"body":"Josh or Jerry pitch that."},{"startTime":3228.016,"endTime":3229.351,"body":"Oh yeah."},{"startTime":3229.351,"endTime":3230.143,"body":"And so yeah."},{"startTime":3230.143,"endTime":3234.064,"body":"It's not I"},{"startTime":3230.143,"endTime":3234.064,"body":"Yeah it's, it's, but it is, it's like,"},{"startTime":3234.272,"endTime":3237.275,"body":"you know, it's"},{"startTime":3234.272,"endTime":3237.275,"body":"where I have my 10000 hours."},{"startTime":3237.275,"endTime":3237.943,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3237.943,"endTime":3242.239,"body":"Kind of literally, you know, or"},{"startTime":3237.943,"endTime":3242.239,"body":"at least thousands and thousands of hours."},{"startTime":3242.239,"endTime":3243.198,"body":"You make on television."},{"startTime":3243.198,"endTime":3246.368,"body":"You've done a lot"},{"startTime":3243.198,"endTime":3246.368,"body":"I mean you've done a lot of TV and movies,"},{"startTime":3246.368,"endTime":3249.246,"body":"but my, like, favorite favorite"},{"startTime":3246.368,"endTime":3249.246,"body":"is like Strangers with Candy."},{"startTime":3249.246,"endTime":3249.996,"body":"Oh, thank you."},{"startTime":3249.996,"endTime":3254.167,"body":"So how organic can you talk about being on"},{"startTime":3249.996,"endTime":3254.167,"body":"set because you're in a couple episodes?"},{"startTime":3254.167,"endTime":3254.668,"body":"Sure."},{"startTime":3254.668,"endTime":3258.63,"body":"How much are they sewing that shit"},{"startTime":3254.668,"endTime":3258.63,"body":"together on set or was it like scripted?"},{"startTime":3258.63,"endTime":3260.465,"body":"And we know exactly. What we're doing."},{"startTime":3260.465,"endTime":3263.385,"body":"It was scripted,"},{"startTime":3260.465,"endTime":3263.385,"body":"but there's all kinds of play."},{"startTime":3263.385,"endTime":3267.347,"body":"Amy Sedaris"},{"startTime":3263.385,"endTime":3267.347,"body":"Yeah, she's because she just got a letter."},{"startTime":3267.43,"endTime":3268.431,"body":"She's awesome."},{"startTime":3268.431,"endTime":3273.728,"body":"I know. Like she was in Elf and, and like"},{"startTime":3273.812,"endTime":3275.23,"body":"she was fucking around"},{"startTime":3275.23,"endTime":3279.109,"body":"and somebody kind of told her,"},{"startTime":3275.23,"endTime":3279.109,"body":"like to stop fucking around."},{"startTime":3279.192,"endTime":3280.86,"body":"and I was saying that again."},{"startTime":3280.86,"endTime":3282.696,"body":"It's like it"},{"startTime":3280.86,"endTime":3282.696,"body":"probably was not very smart of me"},{"startTime":3282.696,"endTime":3285.949,"body":"to do, but like, you know,"},{"startTime":3282.696,"endTime":3285.949,"body":"we're on like everybody's got headsets."},{"startTime":3285.991,"endTime":3287.45,"body":"Oh, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":3287.45,"endTime":3291.162,"body":"And I was like,"},{"startTime":3287.45,"endTime":3291.162,"body":"I sa get kind of talked to and then"},{"startTime":3291.371,"endTime":3296.293,"body":"because Amy will fuck with you"},{"startTime":3291.371,"endTime":3296.293,"body":"while you're,"},{"startTime":3296.376,"endTime":3301.256,"body":"while you're doing your side of things,"},{"startTime":3296.376,"endTime":3301.256,"body":"you know, like you're doing your side."},{"startTime":3301.339,"endTime":3301.631,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3301.631,"endTime":3305.385,"body":"And she's doing, and she's doing her"},{"startTime":3301.631,"endTime":3305.385,"body":"lines off camera and she will fuck"},{"startTime":3305.385,"endTime":3308.388,"body":"with you"},{"startTime":3305.385,"endTime":3308.388,"body":"trying to make you break on her show."},{"startTime":3308.43,"endTime":3310.181,"body":"Oh, ha."},{"startTime":3310.181,"endTime":3313.435,"body":"Show And I and I"},{"startTime":3310.181,"endTime":3313.435,"body":"and that it's thrilling to me."},{"startTime":3313.518,"endTime":3316.479,"body":"And every time that she would do"},{"startTime":3313.518,"endTime":3316.479,"body":"it, I'd be like, Fuck you, Amy."},{"startTime":3316.604,"endTime":3318.732,"body":"No fucking way."},{"startTime":3316.604,"endTime":3318.732,"body":"You're going to break through this."},{"startTime":3318.732,"endTime":3321.651,"body":"And, uh, and that's how she is."},{"startTime":3321.651,"endTime":3324.195,"body":"She like, it's playing all the time."},{"startTime":3324.195,"endTime":3325.447,"body":"And then you start the camera."},{"startTime":3325.447,"endTime":3326.364,"body":"The play doesn't"},{"startTime":3326.364,"endTime":3330.452,"body":"change or start it just you turn,"},{"startTime":3326.364,"endTime":3330.452,"body":"you turn the camera on and catch it."},{"startTime":3330.535,"endTime":3333.58,"body":"And, so somebody came in"},{"startTime":3330.535,"endTime":3333.58,"body":"and then she kind of like I could see her"},{"startTime":3333.58,"endTime":3336.249,"body":"kind of,"},{"startTime":3333.58,"endTime":3336.249,"body":"you know, like bad girl, kind of like."},{"startTime":3336.249,"endTime":3338.418,"body":"And I said, What would you say?"},{"startTime":3338.418,"endTime":3342.547,"body":"And she said, He told me that, you know,"},{"startTime":3338.418,"endTime":3342.547,"body":"because like somebody had a like,"},{"startTime":3342.756,"endTime":3346.593,"body":"you know, somebody was having a speech"},{"startTime":3342.756,"endTime":3346.593,"body":"about saving Christmas, you know,"},{"startTime":3346.718,"endTime":3349.554,"body":"or some shit like that."},{"startTime":3349.637,"endTime":3351.973,"body":"And she said she got it."},{"startTime":3351.973,"endTime":3355.018,"body":"And I was just like,"},{"startTime":3351.973,"endTime":3355.018,"body":"I told you not to screw around."},{"startTime":3355.06,"endTime":3357.479,"body":"I was like, You're fucking screwed."},{"startTime":3357.479,"endTime":3358.521,"body":"That's what you do."},{"startTime":3358.521,"endTime":3364.11,"body":"Like, why hire any why hire you"},{"startTime":3358.521,"endTime":3364.11,"body":"if it's not to let you fuck around? Yes."},{"startTime":3364.194,"endTime":3364.944,"body":"You know."},{"startTime":3364.944,"endTime":3366.529,"body":"What am I hearing Things in the world."},{"startTime":3366.529,"endTime":3368.531,"body":"She was on Letterman, like, 30 something."},{"startTime":3368.531,"endTime":3371.826,"body":"Yeah, which is not. Yeah, Yeah."},{"startTime":3371.868,"endTime":3373.661,"body":"Standups aren't even on the show"},{"startTime":3371.868,"endTime":3373.661,"body":"that much. Yeah."},{"startTime":3373.661,"endTime":3376.581,"body":"And the best thing is"},{"startTime":3373.661,"endTime":3376.581,"body":"and you can see him do it."},{"startTime":3376.581,"endTime":3378.291,"body":"He invites her"},{"startTime":3376.581,"endTime":3378.291,"body":"on, she shows up in a lovely,"},{"startTime":3378.291,"endTime":3380.126,"body":"huge, crazy dress or something"},{"startTime":3378.291,"endTime":3380.126,"body":"weird. Yeah."},{"startTime":3380.126,"endTime":3381.878,"body":"And then he just sits back."},{"startTime":3381.878,"endTime":3384.172,"body":"Yeah. And doesn't say a word. Yeah, just."},{"startTime":3384.172,"endTime":3384.923,"body":"Nothing's. It airs."},{"startTime":3384.923,"endTime":3387.258,"body":"We just let your viewers."},{"startTime":3387.258,"endTime":3389.761,"body":"Uh. That's why I love that show"},{"startTime":3387.258,"endTime":3389.761,"body":"so much in general."},{"startTime":3389.761,"endTime":3393.848,"body":"Yeah, but there's one where you're like,"},{"startTime":3389.761,"endTime":3393.848,"body":"Oh, Roy, you give me your money."},{"startTime":3393.932,"endTime":3396.518,"body":"Yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":3393.932,"endTime":3396.518,"body":"I've heard that for, like, 30 years."},{"startTime":3396.518,"endTime":3397.394,"body":"First time I ever."},{"startTime":3397.394,"endTime":3400.355,"body":"First time I met her,"},{"startTime":3397.394,"endTime":3400.355,"body":"she called Anello. We're still."},{"startTime":3400.355,"endTime":3401.147,"body":"I think they may have been"},{"startTime":3401.147,"endTime":3404.15,"body":"living together,"},{"startTime":3401.147,"endTime":3404.15,"body":"and it was through MIT Napier, who is the,"},{"startTime":3404.359,"endTime":3406.945,"body":"artistic director"},{"startTime":3404.359,"endTime":3406.945,"body":"of the Annoyance Theater."},{"startTime":3406.945,"endTime":3409.406,"body":"And he directed some shows at Second City."},{"startTime":3409.406,"endTime":3410.073,"body":"So he was"},{"startTime":3410.073,"endTime":3411.741,"body":"he was one of the second city directors"},{"startTime":3411.741,"endTime":3414.119,"body":"that would do their different"},{"startTime":3411.741,"endTime":3414.119,"body":"sort of ensemble shows."},{"startTime":3414.119,"endTime":3418.998,"body":"And I knew Amy and I'd seen her on stage"},{"startTime":3414.119,"endTime":3418.998,"body":"or something, but it was a birthday."},{"startTime":3418.998,"endTime":3423.42,"body":"And, you know, I don't I"},{"startTime":3418.998,"endTime":3423.42,"body":"maybe 27th or something, you know,"},{"startTime":3423.503,"endTime":3426.923,"body":"it was her birthday"},{"startTime":3423.503,"endTime":3426.923,"body":"and we went to her apartment,"},{"startTime":3426.923,"endTime":3432.679,"body":"which of course it, you know,"},{"startTime":3426.923,"endTime":3432.679,"body":"still was like 100 vintage squirrels."},{"startTime":3432.762,"endTime":3434.597,"body":"And I think it was"},{"startTime":3434.597,"endTime":3438.226,"body":"Paul who because they were living together"},{"startTime":3434.597,"endTime":3438.226,"body":"because they there and they're amazing."},{"startTime":3438.226,"endTime":3439.394,"body":"They were they were a couple."},{"startTime":3439.394,"endTime":3441.438,"body":"And then they, you know, decided"},{"startTime":3439.394,"endTime":3441.438,"body":"not to be a couple,"},{"startTime":3441.438,"endTime":3445.358,"body":"but they have been creative partners"},{"startTime":3441.438,"endTime":3445.358,"body":"forever continuously throughout."},{"startTime":3445.442,"endTime":3448.111,"body":"But she got and Paul got her"},{"startTime":3448.111,"endTime":3451.614,"body":"an old timey wicker wheelchair."},{"startTime":3451.698,"endTime":3453.908,"body":"I had like big long ones."},{"startTime":3453.908,"endTime":3459.414,"body":"I got like, you know, like a front"},{"startTime":3453.908,"endTime":3459.414,"body":"wheel expands And she was he and he yeah."},{"startTime":3459.414,"endTime":3463.918,"body":"And just was tooling around like like"},{"startTime":3459.414,"endTime":3463.918,"body":"didn't get out of it for like 2 hours."},{"startTime":3464.002,"endTime":3464.377,"body":"Just to."},{"startTime":3464.377,"endTime":3469.382,"body":"Make her wheelchair and and it was just"},{"startTime":3464.377,"endTime":3469.382,"body":"always the same like, you know"},{"startTime":3469.466,"endTime":3474.512,"body":"like being on set with her in her fat"},{"startTime":3469.466,"endTime":3474.512,"body":"you get your fat suit."},{"startTime":3474.596,"endTime":3479.809,"body":"But there was you stuck to the script"},{"startTime":3474.596,"endTime":3479.809,"body":"Pretty much, Yeah, there was."},{"startTime":3479.893,"endTime":3482.604,"body":"You know, it was always plenty of room"},{"startTime":3479.893,"endTime":3482.604,"body":"for fucking around."},{"startTime":3482.604,"endTime":3486.232,"body":"The other thing"},{"startTime":3482.604,"endTime":3486.232,"body":"I love you so much is is it big trouble."},{"startTime":3486.399,"endTime":3488.86,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3486.399,"endTime":3488.86,"body":"Which has a zillion catch names in that."},{"startTime":3488.86,"endTime":3491.321,"body":"I didn't see it. A cop."},{"startTime":3491.404,"endTime":3492.363,"body":"Very tan, which"},{"startTime":3492.363,"endTime":3495.366,"body":"I love because she"},{"startTime":3492.363,"endTime":3495.366,"body":"Geneva was on Tom Snyder."},{"startTime":3495.366,"endTime":3495.783,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3495.783,"endTime":3499.537,"body":"And it's like where the lighting"},{"startTime":3495.783,"endTime":3499.537,"body":"was so poor that the tan react to you."},{"startTime":3499.579,"endTime":3501.956,"body":"I mean, I think it's for the movie."},{"startTime":3501.956,"endTime":3503.75,"body":"Yeah, I know. It was all the same."},{"startTime":3503.75,"endTime":3505.418,"body":"The mall car, the security."},{"startTime":3505.418,"endTime":3508.296,"body":"Yeah, I'm"},{"startTime":3505.418,"endTime":3508.296,"body":"a security guard. You're so. Funny."},{"startTime":3508.296,"endTime":3510.965,"body":"Oh, thank you. You're hammered"},{"startTime":3508.296,"endTime":3510.965,"body":"and you're running around your guns going."},{"startTime":3510.965,"endTime":3512.342,"body":"I have a gun. Yeah, I got to."},{"startTime":3512.342,"endTime":3513.76,"body":"I got to run."},{"startTime":3513.76,"endTime":3516.179,"body":"Yeah, that was fun."},{"startTime":3513.76,"endTime":3516.179,"body":"It was weird, too, because, like."},{"startTime":3516.179,"endTime":3519.015,"body":"I just worked with these three"},{"startTime":3516.179,"endTime":3519.015,"body":"because it's, like, kind of like, it's."},{"startTime":3519.015,"endTime":3523.603,"body":"It's a madcap kind of,"},{"startTime":3519.015,"endTime":3523.603,"body":"you know, star studded cameos."},{"startTime":3523.645,"endTime":3526.856,"body":"And I think, you know, there's,"},{"startTime":3523.645,"endTime":3526.856,"body":"like, rappers in it and everybody's."},{"startTime":3526.856,"endTime":3528.316,"body":"Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of people."},{"startTime":3528.316,"endTime":3531.027,"body":"Well, who's the star lady from the fuck"},{"startTime":3528.316,"endTime":3531.027,"body":"I'm going to fuck?"},{"startTime":3531.027,"endTime":3531.819,"body":"Rene Russo."},{"startTime":3531.819,"endTime":3534.572,"body":"Yeah. Rene Russo on Tim Allen. Yeah. Hmm."},{"startTime":3534.572,"endTime":3539.661,"body":"Um, so I played this drunken"},{"startTime":3534.572,"endTime":3539.661,"body":"mall cop and I am interacting"},{"startTime":3539.661,"endTime":3543.748,"body":"with the three teens,"},{"startTime":3539.661,"endTime":3543.748,"body":"and one is Ben Foster."},{"startTime":3543.831,"endTime":3546.459,"body":"You know, we're like that guy."},{"startTime":3546.459,"endTime":3549.379,"body":"He's fucking amazing, you know?"},{"startTime":3549.379,"endTime":3553.508,"body":"then Zoe de Chanel"},{"startTime":3549.379,"endTime":3553.508,"body":"was there, too, and D.J."},{"startTime":3553.508,"endTime":3557.011,"body":"Qualls and Zoe told me later that, like,"},{"startTime":3557.095,"endTime":3560.848,"body":"Ben would get up because he would like,"},{"startTime":3557.095,"endTime":3560.848,"body":"try to say something"},{"startTime":3561.015,"endTime":3564.727,"body":"like, funny to me and then punish himself"},{"startTime":3561.015,"endTime":3564.727,"body":"because he didn't take it."},{"startTime":3564.894,"endTime":3567.23,"body":"And I didn't you know,"},{"startTime":3564.894,"endTime":3567.23,"body":"it's not registered to me at all."},{"startTime":3567.23,"endTime":3569.941,"body":"But she said that like he"},{"startTime":3567.23,"endTime":3569.941,"body":"that she said to me later that"},{"startTime":3569.941,"endTime":3574.279,"body":"and this was like years later,"},{"startTime":3569.941,"endTime":3574.279,"body":"she said, like he was so trying to like,"},{"startTime":3574.487,"endTime":3579.242,"body":"impress you or not, you know,"},{"startTime":3574.487,"endTime":3579.242,"body":"And he just was so such a nervous"},{"startTime":3579.325,"endTime":3581.661,"body":"and like just pushing himself"},{"startTime":3579.325,"endTime":3581.661,"body":"up, you know?"},{"startTime":3581.661,"endTime":3583.663,"body":"Do people try to do that to you"},{"startTime":3581.661,"endTime":3583.663,"body":"and, like, turn"},{"startTime":3583.663,"endTime":3587.625,"body":"you in, not turn you into a sidekick,"},{"startTime":3583.663,"endTime":3587.625,"body":"but wingman, you know?"},{"startTime":3587.625,"endTime":3590.795,"body":"But they will like"},{"startTime":3587.625,"endTime":3590.795,"body":"I will be at a coffee shop"},{"startTime":3590.795,"endTime":3593.756,"body":"and the people next to me"},{"startTime":3590.795,"endTime":3593.756,"body":"all of a sudden start to do."},{"startTime":3593.756,"endTime":3597.093,"body":"They all start"},{"startTime":3593.756,"endTime":3597.093,"body":"they get a little louder like."},{"startTime":3597.176,"endTime":3600.221,"body":"Oh, no. Funnier."},{"startTime":3600.305,"endTime":3603.725,"body":"God. I mean, it's kind of darling,"},{"startTime":3600.305,"endTime":3603.725,"body":"you know?"},{"startTime":3603.891,"endTime":3608.062,"body":"And I mean and I take it as a compliment,"},{"startTime":3603.891,"endTime":3608.062,"body":"but it is a little bit like, Honey,"},{"startTime":3608.062,"endTime":3610.356,"body":"you don't have the. Yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":3610.356,"endTime":3615.57,"body":"Actually, we could go back to what"},{"startTime":3610.356,"endTime":3615.57,"body":"the question was like maybe 5 hours ago"},{"startTime":3615.653,"endTime":3620.7,"body":"that that who did you feel like you"},{"startTime":3615.653,"endTime":3620.7,"body":"kind of like were nervous about meeting."},{"startTime":3620.7,"endTime":3621.326,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":3621.326,"endTime":3626.372,"body":"Oh well the first one and I'll tell you"},{"startTime":3621.326,"endTime":3626.372,"body":"the quick Shelley Winters."},{"startTime":3626.372,"endTime":3628.374,"body":"Story. the show was getting started."},{"startTime":3628.374,"endTime":3630.084,"body":"She was a guest on the show"},{"startTime":3630.084,"endTime":3634.339,"body":"and there was what they called an airlock,"},{"startTime":3630.084,"endTime":3634.339,"body":"which is like the doors to the studio."},{"startTime":3634.339,"endTime":3637.342,"body":"And then there was like this little area,"},{"startTime":3634.339,"endTime":3637.342,"body":"and on one side"},{"startTime":3637.383,"endTime":3641.095,"body":"was a green room and on the other,"},{"startTime":3637.383,"endTime":3641.095,"body":"like a kind of private in green room."},{"startTime":3641.095,"endTime":3644.682,"body":"And on the other side was of the hallways,"},{"startTime":3641.095,"endTime":3644.682,"body":"this little hallway"},{"startTime":3644.682,"endTime":3647.685,"body":"maybe, you know, 15, 20 feet long."},{"startTime":3647.81,"endTime":3649.687,"body":"And on one side is that green room."},{"startTime":3649.687,"endTime":3653.024,"body":"On the other side is Conan's dressing"},{"startTime":3649.687,"endTime":3653.024,"body":"room and hair and makeup."},{"startTime":3653.107,"endTime":3654.734,"body":"And so it was like"},{"startTime":3653.107,"endTime":3654.734,"body":"this little compartment."},{"startTime":3654.734,"endTime":3655.902,"body":"And I'm standing there"},{"startTime":3655.902,"endTime":3660.365,"body":"waiting for the music to get to the point"},{"startTime":3655.902,"endTime":3660.365,"body":"which I go out and do the show."},{"startTime":3660.448,"endTime":3663.951,"body":"And she comes out of hair"},{"startTime":3660.448,"endTime":3663.951,"body":"and makeup with one of our hair"},{"startTime":3663.951,"endTime":3667.58,"body":"brushes up,"},{"startTime":3663.951,"endTime":3667.58,"body":"and she has it under her blouse and"},{"startTime":3667.747,"endTime":3671.918,"body":"and pulling her bra"},{"startTime":3667.747,"endTime":3671.918,"body":"and scratching her back under her bra,"},{"startTime":3672.001,"endTime":3674.671,"body":"like around to the front,"},{"startTime":3672.001,"endTime":3674.671,"body":"under the like up there on it."},{"startTime":3674.671,"endTime":3678.758,"body":"Yeah. Yeah. With our hair brush. Yeah."},{"startTime":3678.841,"endTime":3682.679,"body":"She's a lady talking about this lady."},{"startTime":3682.679,"endTime":3686.557,"body":"And then just through the door,"},{"startTime":3682.679,"endTime":3686.557,"body":"apropos of nothing."},{"startTime":3686.557,"endTime":3689.727,"body":"I don't know if he was pretty"},{"startTime":3686.557,"endTime":3689.727,"body":"keeping a beard or he was across the hall"},{"startTime":3689.727,"endTime":3694.232,"body":"at Live at five is Rip Taylor, you know,"},{"startTime":3694.315,"endTime":3699.07,"body":"me and Shelley Winters and Taylor"},{"startTime":3694.315,"endTime":3699.07,"body":"adding in this little tiny space,"},{"startTime":3699.112,"endTime":3704.2,"body":"the band playing warm up music"},{"startTime":3699.112,"endTime":3704.2,"body":"and she sees him and she goes, Rip, be."},{"startTime":3704.242,"endTime":3706.411,"body":"Ready."},{"startTime":3706.411,"endTime":3707.578,"body":"Honey, I'm so nervous."},{"startTime":3707.578,"endTime":3708.955,"body":"Tell me a joke."},{"startTime":3708.955,"endTime":3711.374,"body":"Be a Joe Walker"},{"startTime":3711.374,"endTime":3713.126,"body":"number one."},{"startTime":3713.126,"endTime":3716.087,"body":"Just repeat recipe."},{"startTime":3716.087,"endTime":3719.09,"body":"That's really good. Yeah. Wow."},{"startTime":3719.132,"endTime":3720.383,"body":"Yeah, absolutely."},{"startTime":3720.383,"endTime":3722.135,"body":"I think. Yeah, Yeah."},{"startTime":3722.135,"endTime":3724.345,"body":"He was roommates with Marilyn and. Yes."},{"startTime":3724.345,"endTime":3727.348,"body":"And she says she taught Marilyn Monroe"},{"startTime":3724.345,"endTime":3727.348,"body":"how to walk sexy."},{"startTime":3727.39,"endTime":3730.226,"body":"Oh, that's. That's. Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":3730.226,"endTime":3734.105,"body":"I would doubt it the first star struck"},{"startTime":3730.226,"endTime":3734.105,"body":"was during the test shows."},{"startTime":3734.105,"endTime":3737.108,"body":"I thought I had the job, but I, you know."},{"startTime":3737.316,"endTime":3738.151,"body":"Oh, man."},{"startTime":3738.151,"endTime":3741.404,"body":"You know, I know there was I was like,"},{"startTime":3738.151,"endTime":3741.404,"body":"Oh, I'm going to be the sidekick."},{"startTime":3741.487,"endTime":3743.197,"body":"Oh, that's an NBC trick."},{"startTime":3743.197,"endTime":3747.91,"body":"You know, I was supposed to be I was told"},{"startTime":3743.197,"endTime":3747.91,"body":"that I was going to be the co-anchor on"},{"startTime":3747.91,"endTime":3752.498,"body":"SNL, and I had auditioned with five other"},{"startTime":3747.91,"endTime":3752.498,"body":"all the other cast members."},{"startTime":3752.498,"endTime":3753.791,"body":"And then you should have."},{"startTime":3753.791,"endTime":3754.292,"body":"I know."},{"startTime":3754.292,"endTime":3755.042,"body":"And that was that."},{"startTime":3755.042,"endTime":3758.004,"body":"Norm Yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":3758.004,"endTime":3759.005,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3759.005,"endTime":3759.505,"body":"Well, anyway."},{"startTime":3759.505,"endTime":3761.466,"body":"I think knowing what a shared space."},{"startTime":3761.466,"endTime":3763.301,"body":"Was, that's exactly what happened."},{"startTime":3763.301,"endTime":3764.552,"body":"How did you know that?"},{"startTime":3764.552,"endTime":3766.721,"body":"Uh, I am going around."},{"startTime":3766.721,"endTime":3768.931,"body":"Yeah, that's exactly what happened."},{"startTime":3768.931,"endTime":3770.433,"body":"So I."},{"startTime":3770.433,"endTime":3773.436,"body":"Comedian friends"},{"startTime":3770.433,"endTime":3773.436,"body":"also share some good buddy."},{"startTime":3773.603,"endTime":3777.106,"body":"But so after before one of the test shows"},{"startTime":3777.106,"endTime":3780.526,"body":"one of the later sessions,"},{"startTime":3777.106,"endTime":3780.526,"body":"maybe the last one, the next the last one,"},{"startTime":3780.61,"endTime":3784.071,"body":"our producer says, leave your cloth,"},{"startTime":3780.61,"endTime":3784.071,"body":"your show clothes on."},{"startTime":3784.071,"endTime":3786.157,"body":"You're going to dinner with Lorne."},{"startTime":3786.157,"endTime":3789.16,"body":"And so after the show, we got into Lorne's"},{"startTime":3789.16,"endTime":3792.163,"body":"car and drove us to a fancy"},{"startTime":3789.16,"endTime":3792.163,"body":"Upper East Side restaurant."},{"startTime":3792.288,"endTime":3795.249,"body":"We said, We're here to have dinner"},{"startTime":3792.288,"endTime":3795.249,"body":"with Lorne Michaels, and they take us back"},{"startTime":3795.249,"endTime":3798.586,"body":"to a table,"},{"startTime":3795.249,"endTime":3798.586,"body":"and it's Lorne and Steve Martin."},{"startTime":3798.711,"endTime":3800.588,"body":"While. And then it's Guy."},{"startTime":3800.588,"endTime":3804.884,"body":"So it's like, you know,"},{"startTime":3800.588,"endTime":3804.884,"body":"like I said, a couple months before or"},{"startTime":3804.967,"endTime":3809.055,"body":"I'm hoping I can get the assistant manager"},{"startTime":3804.967,"endTime":3809.055,"body":"job at the movie theater."},{"startTime":3809.055,"endTime":3812.85,"body":"And now it's just the four of us"},{"startTime":3809.055,"endTime":3812.85,"body":"sitting there"},{"startTime":3812.934,"endTime":3816.437,"body":"and I'm looking at Steve Martin"},{"startTime":3812.934,"endTime":3816.437,"body":"and I'm just looking at, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":3816.479,"endTime":3820.608,"body":"You know,"},{"startTime":3816.479,"endTime":3820.608,"body":"I just like, you know, from that point, I,"},{"startTime":3820.608,"endTime":3824.445,"body":"I didn't say, you know,"},{"startTime":3820.608,"endTime":3824.445,"body":"I didn't speak unless I was spoken to."},{"startTime":3824.529,"endTime":3828.282,"body":"And, and that was always the case"},{"startTime":3824.529,"endTime":3828.282,"body":"with people that really mattered to me,"},{"startTime":3828.366,"endTime":3831.369,"body":"like Michael Keaton, you know,"},{"startTime":3831.41,"endTime":3834.497,"body":"like sitting and looking at Michael Caine"},{"startTime":3831.41,"endTime":3834.497,"body":"like I would do."},{"startTime":3834.497,"endTime":3835.957,"body":"I'm going to say Michael Keaton."},{"startTime":3835.957,"endTime":3840.127,"body":"I think you're good. Yeah. Yeah, I. Have"},{"startTime":3840.211,"endTime":3842.463,"body":"to sneak on to the movies."},{"startTime":3842.463,"endTime":3844.841,"body":"That one. So, Miss Congeniality."},{"startTime":3844.841,"endTime":3846.592,"body":"Oh, wow. There's a bazillion extra."},{"startTime":3846.592,"endTime":3849.887,"body":"So I just, like,"},{"startTime":3846.592,"endTime":3849.887,"body":"walked by and joined. Wow."},{"startTime":3849.887,"endTime":3853.516,"body":"And then it was like a cut"},{"startTime":3849.887,"endTime":3853.516,"body":"because I knew Candice Bergen was around."},{"startTime":3853.599,"endTime":3855.476,"body":"Right"},{"startTime":3855.476,"endTime":3858.271,"body":"back at me was like, Where is my radar?"},{"startTime":3858.271,"endTime":3858.563,"body":"Right?"},{"startTime":3858.563,"endTime":3860.648,"body":"I was like, I. Said, it was bad."},{"startTime":3860.648,"endTime":3864.902,"body":"Candice Bergen is in town."},{"startTime":3864.986,"endTime":3866.445,"body":"Oh, man, It was over there."},{"startTime":3866.445,"endTime":3869.365,"body":"She was close to camera."},{"startTime":3866.445,"endTime":3869.365,"body":"I got to see her hair. Yeah."},{"startTime":3869.365,"endTime":3870.241,"body":"Murphy Brown hair."},{"startTime":3870.241,"endTime":3873.286,"body":"Anyway, and then someone brushed me"},{"startTime":3870.241,"endTime":3873.286,"body":"and he goes, Sorry."},{"startTime":3873.286,"endTime":3876.163,"body":"And he popped a Hershey kiss as now."},{"startTime":3876.163,"endTime":3878.666,"body":"And it was Michael fucking thing. Wow."},{"startTime":3878.666,"endTime":3879.917,"body":"Yeah. Yeah. Hey."},{"startTime":3879.917,"endTime":3881.627,"body":"Yeah. Oh, my God. I knew that."},{"startTime":3881.627,"endTime":3882.712,"body":"That's what I was like."},{"startTime":3882.712,"endTime":3882.92,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3882.92,"endTime":3886.507,"body":"Was that amazing moment"},{"startTime":3882.92,"endTime":3886.507,"body":"I remember it like feeling starstruck,"},{"startTime":3886.591,"endTime":3890.511,"body":"like not knowing where to do it,"},{"startTime":3886.591,"endTime":3890.511,"body":"because I was in a flower shop and I saw"},{"startTime":3890.636,"endTime":3893.639,"body":"I just saw somebody who I"},{"startTime":3890.636,"endTime":3893.639,"body":"who I'd always admired."},{"startTime":3893.639,"endTime":3897.977,"body":"And she was like, had her kid"},{"startTime":3893.639,"endTime":3897.977,"body":"like it was wearing a kid, Jodie Foster."},{"startTime":3898.227,"endTime":3902.023,"body":"And I was just like,"},{"startTime":3898.227,"endTime":3902.023,"body":"wow, you know, she's she's also very tiny."},{"startTime":3902.023,"endTime":3904.4,"body":"Jodie Foster's like five foot three,"},{"startTime":3902.023,"endTime":3904.4,"body":"maybe."},{"startTime":3904.4,"endTime":3908.613,"body":"And I was like, you know, and"},{"startTime":3904.4,"endTime":3908.613,"body":"just like being such a huge fan of hers"},{"startTime":3908.613,"endTime":3911.949,"body":"for so long and then seeing her like,"},{"startTime":3908.613,"endTime":3911.949,"body":"you know, with her baby on, in front of."},{"startTime":3912.199,"endTime":3914.327,"body":"Yeah, Baby Bjorn."},{"startTime":3914.327,"endTime":3916.078,"body":"And I was like, how?"},{"startTime":3916.078,"endTime":3918.08,"body":"So Jodie Foster was just on Jimmy Kimmel."},{"startTime":3918.08,"endTime":3922.46,"body":"And do you ever watch talk shows"},{"startTime":3918.08,"endTime":3922.46,"body":"and you're the answer to that."},{"startTime":3922.543,"endTime":3923.836,"body":"Is there ever a time where."},{"startTime":3923.836,"endTime":3926.255,"body":"You and not just because they're dead,"},{"startTime":3926.255,"endTime":3930.092,"body":"I don't watch them"},{"startTime":3926.255,"endTime":3930.092,"body":"because it's like a plumber watching HGTV."},{"startTime":3930.092,"endTime":3933.095,"body":"Like, yeah, again, I'm no fun. Yeah."},{"startTime":3933.179,"endTime":3937.433,"body":"All I see is seems you know,"},{"startTime":3933.179,"endTime":3937.433,"body":"like, yeah, spontaneous moments."},{"startTime":3937.433,"endTime":3939.727,"body":"I know how fucking engineered they are."},{"startTime":3939.727,"endTime":3943.105,"body":"I know that they were hundred"},{"startTime":3939.727,"endTime":3943.105,"body":"emails around like, oh my God."},{"startTime":3943.105,"endTime":3945.816,"body":"He went, you know, a piano."},{"startTime":3945.816,"endTime":3947.985,"body":"You. Know, whatever, you know. Yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":3947.985,"endTime":3952.156,"body":"I just saw it when there's a guest and I"},{"startTime":3947.985,"endTime":3952.156,"body":"want that, like one more question, right?"},{"startTime":3952.156,"endTime":3954.075,"body":"Like, maybe like,"},{"startTime":3952.156,"endTime":3954.075,"body":"because Jodie Foster told a great story"},{"startTime":3954.075,"endTime":3955.493,"body":"about who's said,"},{"startTime":3954.075,"endTime":3955.493,"body":"well, scaring her, I'm like."},{"startTime":3955.493,"endTime":3957.119,"body":"Oh, really? How? When?"},{"startTime":3957.119,"endTime":3960.081,"body":"Like, yeah, one more question. About"},{"startTime":3957.119,"endTime":3960.081,"body":"I didn't get was they."},{"startTime":3960.081,"endTime":3962.541,"body":"Were like, Whose stars have you met or Oh."},{"startTime":3962.541,"endTime":3964.335,"body":"This scares you. Oh, okay."},{"startTime":3964.335,"endTime":3966.587,"body":"Yeah, you're right. And she goes, Well,"},{"startTime":3964.335,"endTime":3966.587,"body":"there are a lot of legends."},{"startTime":3966.587,"endTime":3969.173,"body":"When I came up and it was Lucille"},{"startTime":3966.587,"endTime":3969.173,"body":"Ball was actually very scary."},{"startTime":3969.173,"endTime":3970.299,"body":"Yeah. Oh, yeah."},{"startTime":3970.299,"endTime":3972.385,"body":"Well, now I. Want to know why"},{"startTime":3970.299,"endTime":3972.385,"body":"she didn't say the name."},{"startTime":3972.385,"endTime":3973.97,"body":"Well, there, you know, she said that name."},{"startTime":3973.97,"endTime":3975.805,"body":"Oh, I want more detail."},{"startTime":3975.805,"endTime":3977.181,"body":"Oh, I mean,"},{"startTime":3977.181,"endTime":3980.184,"body":"yeah, I always get mad when, like,"},{"startTime":3977.181,"endTime":3980.184,"body":"the interviewer doesn't get like one."},{"startTime":3980.393,"endTime":3981.143,"body":"You know, It's so funny."},{"startTime":3981.143,"endTime":3982.144,"body":"So now it's dark."},{"startTime":3982.144,"endTime":3985.856,"body":"That's how long we've"},{"startTime":3982.144,"endTime":3985.856,"body":"talked and it's the next day,"},{"startTime":3985.94,"endTime":3986.816,"body":"and I just."},{"startTime":3986.816,"endTime":3987.525,"body":"Feel like a hostage."},{"startTime":3987.525,"endTime":3989.944,"body":"Yeah, I know, but you're amazing."},{"startTime":3989.944,"endTime":3991.862,"body":"You're so amazing. And thank you so much."},{"startTime":3991.862,"endTime":3994.532,"body":"I love Blab. And. You're hilarious."},{"startTime":3991.862,"endTime":3994.532,"body":"And I love seeing you."},{"startTime":3994.532,"endTime":3995.825,"body":"I want to see you more often."},{"startTime":3995.825,"endTime":3998.703,"body":"We have to, like, hang out or something."},{"startTime":3995.825,"endTime":3998.703,"body":"You know, we should."},{"startTime":3998.703,"endTime":3998.995,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":3998.995,"endTime":4003.958,"body":"And I have a, you know, a new wife"},{"startTime":3998.995,"endTime":4003.958,"body":"and a four year old, and we need."},{"startTime":4003.958,"endTime":4006.669,"body":"To meet them. Yeah. The problem is,"},{"startTime":4003.958,"endTime":4006.669,"body":"is it just like."},{"startTime":4006.669,"endTime":4008.254,"body":"I mean, like I said, I don't, I don't."},{"startTime":4008.254,"endTime":4012.591,"body":"It's easy for me, it's easy for me"},{"startTime":4008.254,"endTime":4012.591,"body":"and it's something I push against"},{"startTime":4012.675,"endTime":4017.638,"body":"my natural proclivity towards receiving,"},{"startTime":4017.722,"endTime":4022.685,"body":"you know, and to just kind of stay in home"},{"startTime":4017.722,"endTime":4022.685,"body":"and, you know, and just, it's"},{"startTime":4022.685,"endTime":4027.648,"body":"also too like having a gazillion years"},{"startTime":4022.685,"endTime":4027.648,"body":"of socializing and small talk."},{"startTime":4027.648,"endTime":4030.443,"body":"Now I'm just like, now I'd rather,"},{"startTime":4027.648,"endTime":4030.443,"body":"you know. Oh, it's true."},{"startTime":4030.443,"endTime":4032.987,"body":"I'd rather just kind of stay home."},{"startTime":4030.443,"endTime":4032.987,"body":"I feel the same."},{"startTime":4032.987,"endTime":4034.113,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":4034.113,"endTime":4036.157,"body":"So but I have to push against it"},{"startTime":4034.113,"endTime":4036.157,"body":"because it's not good."},{"startTime":4036.157,"endTime":4038.576,"body":"Because that's like,"},{"startTime":4036.157,"endTime":4038.576,"body":"that's what I was saying."},{"startTime":4038.576,"endTime":4040.578,"body":"I don't want to get old and closed down."},{"startTime":4040.578,"endTime":4043.08,"body":"I want to get old and open up. Yeah."},{"startTime":4043.08,"endTime":4048.169,"body":"As I get older, I want I want to be more"},{"startTime":4043.08,"endTime":4048.169,"body":"open as opposed to less open."},{"startTime":4048.169,"endTime":4050.087,"body":"So I have to push against it."},{"startTime":4050.087,"endTime":4053.09,"body":"But it is really hard."},{"startTime":4050.087,"endTime":4053.09,"body":"But fucking for you."},{"startTime":4053.215,"endTime":4054.8,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":4054.884,"endTime":4056.594,"body":"It's a perfect excuse."},{"startTime":4056.594,"endTime":4059.889,"body":"She goes to bed and it's like, Whoa,"},{"startTime":4056.594,"endTime":4059.889,"body":"what the fuck?"},{"startTime":4059.972,"endTime":4060.598,"body":"What are we doing?"},{"startTime":4060.598,"endTime":4061.599,"body":"Yeah, let's just. What?"},{"startTime":4061.599,"endTime":4064.602,"body":"She's got the idea. Let's go to bed."},{"startTime":4064.852,"endTime":4067.229,"body":"I mean, I'm often asleep by 930."},{"startTime":4067.229,"endTime":4070.232,"body":"I remember it was like,"},{"startTime":4067.229,"endTime":4070.232,"body":"Yeah, when you're when you're a kid,"},{"startTime":4070.232,"endTime":4072.401,"body":"you don't want to take a nap,"},{"startTime":4070.232,"endTime":4072.401,"body":"and then you're older. You can't wait."},{"startTime":4072.401,"endTime":4074.07,"body":"Oh, can I just have a fucking nap?"},{"startTime":4074.07,"endTime":4075.905,"body":"But it's just such a privilege"},{"startTime":4074.07,"endTime":4075.905,"body":"to meet you."},{"startTime":4075.905,"endTime":4078.074,"body":"Oh, yeah, You're hilarious."},{"startTime":4078.074,"endTime":4079.533,"body":"I've always made me Las Vegas."},{"startTime":4079.533,"endTime":4081.285,"body":"Thank you for."},{"startTime":4081.285,"endTime":4083.621,"body":"So this has been a lovely conversation."},{"startTime":4083.621,"endTime":4085.289,"body":"I think we should say, look, we love you"},{"startTime":4085.289,"endTime":4090.795,"body":"and we know"},{"startTime":4085.289,"endTime":4090.795,"body":"we're not going to see you again"},{"startTime":4090.878,"endTime":4091.712,"body":"any day."},{"startTime":4091.712,"endTime":4092.213,"body":"Everybody."},{"startTime":4092.213,"endTime":4093.339,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":4093.339,"endTime":4096.3,"body":"Eddie Richter is here."},{"startTime":4096.3,"endTime":4097.093,"body":"I'll be okay."}]}