Claim Your Awesome

How to Take Action and Show Up for Yourself Even When You Feel Stuck

• Jessica Hook • Season 1 • Episode 7

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I'm back from vacation and opening up about struggling to take action even when you don't feel like it! Have you ever felt paralyzed by perfectionism and comparison, that you ended up taking no action at all? I've been there too. I know the struggle of trying to show up when you're not feeling your best, and battling with those subconscious judgements we all have about ourselves. I am here to say you are not alone and you are so much more capable and so much closer to progress than you think! I'll share the key to reprogramming the beliefs we hold about ourselves, and how it all comes down to trusting ourselves, and showing up, even when it's tough.

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Speaker 1:

Hello, welcome back to the Claim, your Awesome podcast. I'm so excited that you're here. I have been on vacation for about three plus weeks I'm not even exactly sure how long, but it feels like I have been kind of out of this space, not really being on social media, for quite some time. Honestly, today is Monday, july 17th, when I'm recording this for it to go live on Tuesday. I'm definitely just feeling a little bit of the struggle of getting back into it all, getting back into the rhythm and routines of everything. I really had wanted to have some podcasts ready to air when I was on vacation and just with the timing of my kids' school and everything going on, I didn't get a chance. I honestly want to say that I kind of beat myself up about that a little bit on vacation and it kind of put me in a bad mood. Then I just realized it doesn't have to be anything that I don't want it to be. I want to share this right now because if you take away absolutely this one and only message, it would be that just take messy action.

Speaker 1:

I used to have a sales job prior to the pandemic and I was in my car a lot. I was on the road, visiting clients, and I listened to a ton of podcasts. I love listening to podcasts and I listened at that time. I was listening to a lot of business podcasts and everyone seemed to just have it all together and they were all well-oiled machines and I admired that. I also realized that it took me a really long time to get to where I am now and the only thing that got me here, got me to this business that I'm running, got me to launching this podcast, is doing my own inner work and embracing messy action, letting go of perfection. That is the only thing, because all we really want of ourselves is to show ourselves that we're worthy, that we're enough that we can show up for ourselves in a way that feels really good to us. Not in a way that feels good to someone else, not in a way that feels good to your parents, to your partner, to anyone else. At the end of the day, at the end of your life, how did you show up for yourself? I share all of this and I'm only saying I want to be way more vulnerable about my personal journey and experience on this podcast and sharing that a little bit more with you, because I want everyone to know that there isn't anything or there isn't any one way that's perfect. No one's journey looks like that. We all start from somewhere and it's so easy to share all of the good things, share all of the highlights, but I hope that in me, sharing my own messy action, me sharing some of my own struggles, and that inspires you to do the same, because, at the end of the day, I want you to experience just how good it feels when you're following something that feels really alive and purposeful and intentional for you, because it's only what matters to you. That is what will light you up the most Taking the action, doing the thing.

Speaker 1:

Today, kind of in saying all that today is a little bit of a mix of an episode. I wanted to share a little bit about taking action, me even struggling to get the day started and being a little bit like what am I even doing? Getting back into the rhythm, but also that you don't always need to be in this perfect mindset to take action. I definitely have struggled with that as well.

Speaker 1:

I am naturally a very optimistic person. I have relatively high energy and I used to really get stuck when I had low energy. I felt like I couldn't show up on Instagram or somewhere else if my energy was low, because I felt like I needed to have this high energy for everyone else all of the time. Then I realized like I'm not really good at this, that's just not realistic and it's not authentic, right? And if I'm not showing that, you can show up. Even when you're feeling, you know, maybe a little down, maybe a little bit stuck, whatever that may be, you can still show up. In that way, it's okay If you're waiting for the perfect time, for the perfect feeling, for whatever to show up for yourself. Unfortunately, that only then continues to train your brain that you can only take action when you are in a certain emotional state and obviously, like we can't predict our emotions, right, it doesn't matter how positive you are, it doesn't matter. You know that you're naturally like high energy. Life happens, things happen and it changes you and it derails you, but you can still show up for yourself. When you show up for yourself, then you start to train your brain that oh hey, I'm worth it, I'm consistent, I can trust myself, I can do this right.

Speaker 1:

It's like all of these super micro, micro steps each and every day how we talk to ourselves. It becomes so automatic some of our beliefs, we don't even realize the way that we're talking to ourselves. Sometimes we don't even realize the judgment, the criticism, all of the things that we're constantly telling ourselves. And you're like I don't tell myself that Maybe you're thinking that and it's like yeah, because it's like on autopilot now, like you don't even realize that you're having these thoughts, but just like when you look in the mirror, what do you see? You may instantly criticize your body or go ugh or whatever, like those are these tiny little ways that you are again having that like subconscious program running around you not feeling your own worth, you not feeling that you are capable of whatever it is that you desire and it's simply not true. But it starts with you reprogramming those thoughts. It starts with you showing up for yourself, trusting yourself. Prove to yourself that you know what you want. Prove to yourself that you're going to go after those goals of yours and show up, be consistent, because the more you do that, the easier and easier it gets. All right, that was a much longer little snippet of me coming off my vacation than I expected it to be, but that just kind of yeah flowed out, so I'm going to leave it in there and take what you want from it.

Speaker 1:

The second part of this podcast is that I want to share a message from a listener, someone that sent a message into me with something that they're kind of struggling with, and I love that you have done this. If you want me to talk about something specific on the podcast, share any insights, like I'm happy to do that. I always say life is a mirror, so whatever you're going through, chances are someone else could resonate with that message, someone else could hear that message. So send me a DM on Instagram, shoot me an email. I'm happy to share it and, again, it's all completely confidential. So the message today is about losing momentum around wanting to start a new business.

Speaker 1:

So this is basically just feeling, this call, this need to do something solely for herself. Right, we all have that feeling where it's just like especially as moms and wives and caretakers, like we find ourselves in these roles of just overextending ourselves constantly. I mean, obviously, that is the season that we're in. I also have young kids. I get it, they need me, but there's still that desire within us to do something for ourselves and again, I've said this before, but I believe that we're here to create. So when we are not creating in whatever way that feels good to you I'm not talking about like everyone has to go out and create a Fortune 500 company. I'm saying like just creating something that feels good and nourishing for you when we're not doing that, we feel stifled, we feel like something is missing.

Speaker 1:

So she wants to do something solely for herself and she wants to start a side business. And she says that she got sick and her whole family got sick with the same bug and they were out for about six weeks and her momentum was totally lost during this time. I can totally resonate with that. I've been there, I know what that's like and I'm sure you can resonate with that as well. So she says fast forward to today. No progress has been made and any downtime I have I want to just veg. I know when you want something bad enough, you make the time, but I'm not sure how to do that without overextending. I'm struggling to squeeze one more thing in until myself. Maybe I should just wait until the kids are a little bit older and maybe I'm still just trying to figure out what lights me up outside of family life. So I love this and, again. It totally resonated with me and I wanted to share it because I think it will resonate with really anyone that's listening.

Speaker 1:

So what I want to offer here I mean I guess there's so much to unpack, but what I always initially want to say is just let yourself be in this space. There's so much mental work that goes into judging yourself for not doing the thing you said you would do. There's so much, again, mental work that goes into beating yourself up for not showing up in a way that you think or for not being where you think you should be in your career, life, business, whatever. There's so much just mental exhaustion that happens when we are stuck in that loop of those thoughts. It's all just made up. It's all just made up stories that you've created.

Speaker 1:

So can you just instead allow yourself to be with wherever you are, just allowing yourself to get out of the judgment. Give yourself some grace. Celebrate what you've done, even though you've lost momentum. Celebrate yourself for starting something, for giving something a try. It's like so beautiful just to make that time for yourself, just allowing yourself to be with whatever is. And then can you ask yourself do I need to really be anything else anywhere else, anything other than who I am, where I am right now, in this moment. Yes, of course you want to create this business or create the thing that you're desiring. You want to also become the person that you want to be once you create that thing. But right now, in this very moment, is it okay for you just to be exactly where you are, exactly who you are?

Speaker 1:

And, ironically, what happens is when we allow ourselves to sit with that, without the judgment fully accepting that those feelings pass, it's like we can bring so much presence to the situation, so much presence to the current moment that none of the negativity, none of the thoughts that are looping in our head, that cannot exist when you are in full presence and acceptance with where you are now. And this is not like a one and done thing, but the more you do that, the more that you practice that muscle, you build up self-compassion and you stop beating yourself up so much. And again, ironically, when you stop forcing yourself to be doing, you actually are able to move forward. It's this strange trick where the brain thinks it needs to judge you and beat you up. It thinks that that's going to make you move forward, but it doesn't work. Compassion works, Self-compassion works. A research study actually shows that the number one trait amongst successful people it's not grit, it's not perseverance, it's not having an excess amount of disposable income or money, it is self-compassion. And just think about it. When you are compassionate with yourself, you're just more gentle. There's no need to force. You're coming back into alignment with who you really are. And who you really are is just worthiness, it's just straight love. And when we have that self love, when we're in full alignment, then the clarity expands. Then we wake up to okay, what is the next easiest step I can do? How can I move forward in building this business?

Speaker 1:

I have shared this story on here before, but I talk about kind of my own experience with the idea of self compassion, kind of before I even realized it was a thing, and it was at the start of the pandemic, when I was really beating myself up for the way that my body looked and it not losing the baby weight and that sort of thing. And just one morning in the mirror when I was getting ready to get in the shower, I just like surrendered to it all and I decided in that moment to stop beating up my body and instead offer it gratitude and compassion and love for everything that it's done for me. And something literally shifted inside my brain and I then showed up for my body, right. Like I showed up, I started eating better, I started working out, and it was. It literally felt effortless because what was hard was me judging my body and then judging myself for not doing the workout, judging myself for eating the piece of chocolate, judging myself for having the ice cream. That was the hard part.

Speaker 1:

Once I instead offered the compassion, the easy part was showing up and working out. It became easy. It was no longer like this chore that I felt I had to do. Right, it's the same thing. It's like when we offer ourselves that compassion, we reprogram all of those beliefs about who we think we are and how we should show up, and everything just starts to get so much easier. And another thing I wanna kind of add to that along the topic of showing up in a way that feels really easy is I think we get stuck in this idea.

Speaker 1:

Even the woman who wrote in I'm not sure how to show up basically without overextending, and that she's already really struggling to squeeze in one more thing, and again it's this idea of how can we let things just lift me from plastic feeling yeah, be easier, right? Like I think and I struggle with this too, because I am all about ease and I've like experienced again just how easy things can be when you allow yourself to be and when you allow yourself to really live in alignment. And the thing that gets tricky for me, that I still find myself getting stuck in, is as I grow my business. My own subconscious beliefs are that I don't want things to be hard, but for me, I'm here to show myself that they don't have to be right, like I'm here to build a wildly successful business that feels easy and good to me, and that is my intention and I believe it wholeheartedly and I know it's possible. So I love the idea of letting go of this idea around hustle and overwhelm and just being and this gets a little trickier Like, yes, it is so possible.

Speaker 1:

But the biggest thing here is that you have to start to start to do the work, to ditch all of the things that aren't serving you and come into alignment. And things that aren't serving you are things like scrolling endlessly on social media, right, like watching hours of Netflix at the end of the day, like, yes, there was a time and place for those things every now and then. But again, the brain it's so much easier to do whatever is like the most gratifying thing in the moment. Right, like that's what the brain wants. Like that dopamine hit of what is gonna feel good for me right now. So right now I could choose to work on my business, or I could choose to veg and watch TV after my kids go to sleep. Clearly like, logically, it's just vegging, feels so good. I get that, I totally understand that.

Speaker 1:

But the trick is it doesn't serve, because it just becomes this like vicious cycle of doing that. And then you wake up the next morning and you're like, oh my gosh, I was up for three hours after the kids went to bed and I could have been working on something and instead I watched TV. And now you're beating yourself up about doing that. And this is where again that idea of self compassion comes in, like you have to just be so gentle with yourself and give yourself that grace. And the more that you do that, the more that you practice that and in conjunction with that, you're starting to ditch some of these other things that aren't serving you.

Speaker 1:

And maybe it's not that you're not. You're working on your business instead of watching TV. Maybe that feels like too hard of a jump right now, right, like that's just like. Oh my gosh, I'm really drained. How could I work on my business or do something? What is something in the middle that you could do? Maybe you get to bed a little bit early. Maybe you put on like a guided sleep meditation from YouTube. Let yourself fall asleep to that, let yourself kind of get into this meditative state of a four bed and start doing that. Maybe you and turn off the TV, do some journaling, do some gratitude practice. Maybe you do some vision work.

Speaker 1:

Really start to hone in on what do you see for your life, what do you want for your life? Unapologetically write out every single thing that you want, the way that you want to show up for yourself, the way you want to live, the types of things that you want to do and create and experience. Let yourself really absorb how you feel as you're writing this out and really leaning into the emotions that you want to experience as you're creating and manifesting all of these things that you want. Those activities will serve you so much more than just sitting on the couch and watching Netflix for three hours, because then you're starting to again, you start to reprogram the subconscious around what you really want and the more that you do that, you find these simple ways to start taking action. So it doesn't then feel so overwhelming, right, like that is the hard part, I think, like the overwhelm, the overthinking, the frustration, the judging like that is the hard part.

Speaker 1:

The action is the fun part. Right, like when you have clarity around something that you want to do, you have your why. Maybe your why is that you want to quit your nine to five so that you can spend more time with your family and travel more, and you are really leaned into emotionally how that will feel for you. Then the insights come in like, oh, I should just do this. That feels really easy and fun, and then that feels more pleasurable than the watching the Netflix. So now it's easier for the brain to choose taking action because that is the same dopamine hit that it needs, right, like it no longer needs the TV because it's lit up and excited and ready to have fun in the journey. And that is also why it's so important to continue to just celebrate your progress, celebrate having fun, you know, in your journey, wherever you may be, because it is fun and it's just showing the brain that you can keep showing up in that space, taking small action right.

Speaker 1:

And actually one more thing that I want to add about like taking the inspired action around whatever your goal is, when your actions are inspired and aligned with that bigger vision, that is where you will really feel and see like the major leaps as you're taking progress on your goals. You can feel inspired, but you really also want to make sure that it's aligned with what you want. You know, do your personal goals. What's your six-month goal for yourself? What's your one-year goal for yourself? What's your five-year life goal? Where do you want to be? Making sure that that's aligned will keep you excited as you work towards these goals.

Speaker 1:

Love to hear your thoughts. Again. If you want to send any questions in anything that you're struggling with, I'm happy to unpack it. So again, I hope that's helpful. I had such a great time in France and I'm excited to be back and be back on this podcast. I'm gonna be having some more guests come on to share some really helpful you know helpful and insightful tips of all sorts, just showing up for yourself how to be more productive. If there are types of guests that you would like to hear from again, let me know. I really want to make this podcast one that serves you and inspires you to go out and start creating the life that you are so worthy of, that you're so deserving of, because it's possible for you and there's so much joy when we show up for ourselves. There's so much pleasure in that. I hope you have a beautiful, beautiful day. Talk to you soon.