Claim Your Awesome

The Secret to Going All In on YOURSELF

• Jessica Hook

Share episode

Have you ever said, "I'm ready to go all in myself" only to fall short? Well I promise, you are not the only one and it means nothing about YOU. Today I am inviting you to shift the very masculine approach to going all in, which is rooted in DOING and instead  prioritize self-love and personal growth while achieving your goals. We'll challenge the norms, and redefine what it means to go all in on yourself. We're not talking about a linear path filled with relentless striving. Instead, we'll embrace a holistic approach, a more fulfilling journey that nurtures the soul while cultivating success.

Let's dispel the notion that self-care and personal growth are luxuries. We're flipping the script and putting them right at the forefront of our journey to success. We'll talk balance, energy, and how tapping into both the feminine and masculine aspects within us can fuel greater achievement.  We'll uncover how these elements are critical in taking the adventurous leap to commit to yourself fully.

Reminder - Next Week 10/23-10/27 I will be going LIVE at 5:30AM EST each morning for "Wake up Abundant". Set your alarm, grab your coffee and meet me there!

If you are feeling called for 1:1 support to help you get unstuck, clear the limiting beliefs, reprogram the subconscious mind, GET INTO ACTION and manifest a biz and life you love, you can apply to work with me here.

Want more mindset goodness? Join our community on Instagram or Facebook!

Have any questions or comments? 
Send me a note at jess@jess-hook.com

Please share this episode with a friend and don't forget to rate, review and subscribe!


Join the FREE Everyday Magic Community here

If you're local to Philadelphia and want to know about upcoming in person events, DM "Philly" along with your name and email on Instagram

Join the Wildly Abundant Women private Facebook Group Here and connect with other amazing women just like you.

If you are feeling called for 1:1 support to help you get unstuck, clear the limiting beliefs, reprogram the subconscious mind, GET INTO ACTION and manifest a biz and life you love, you can apply to work with me here.

Want more abundance flowing into your day? Follow along on Instagram

Have any questions or comments?
Send me a note at jess@jess-hook.com

Please share this episode with a friend and don't forget to rate, review and subscribe!



Speaker 1:

Welcome back to Claim your Awesome. I'm so excited that you're joining me today. I am really excited to bring this new approach, kind of this new way of thinking about the phrase, about the term, the idea of going all in on yourself. So how many of you either have said that about yourself, or a goal or something that you're doing, something that you're working on, or you, at least you know, I'm sure know what I'm talking about and I think for me, I always, you know, I can look back at times in my life and be like this is it? I'm gonna go all in, I'm gonna do it right. And even as I say that now, I can feel this very masculine energy coming through with that. And what do I mean by going all in on yourself right, going all in on your goals? And that really quite simply means that there's no more wavering, there's no more questioning, there's no more self-doubt, and actually maybe there is still some of that. But you move, you're still in action. You're still just constantly saying yes to yourself. You're saying yes to what you want. You're saying yes to what you want to manifest. You're saying yes to whatever you wanna create, whatever you wanna do, saying yes to the person that you wanna become. And that's really what going all in means. It's like, even in the midst of challenge, you're still so committed to exactly what you want, exactly who you wanna be. And, as we all know, right, like life happens, things happen, challenges get thrown our way, and when we can zoom out, when we can open the aperture and see that those situations and circumstances truly do serve you, they truly give you value, they teach you a lesson, they help you heal from something in order to step into the next level of yourself on your path to becoming the highest version of yourself. So they're all meant to serve. But going all in is even when those things come up, you're still committed, you're still saying yes. So this is where I want to really start to shift the perspective around this slightly, because I really believe that approaching going all in on yourself in this way that I'm about to explain and break down a little bit more, will really serve you.

Speaker 1:

As I mentioned when I was talking about in the past, like this is it, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna go all in, like I think that you can feel into that, you can hear me saying that, and there is definitely a masculine energy to that. And masculine does not mean like from a man. I mean the masculine energy that is within myself, that's within all of you, and the masculine energy is always about doing and purpose and productivity and going. And that's kind of in a basic nutshell what masculine energy really stands for. And again, it's so valuable and there's certainly a way to honor the masculine energy inside all of us right, like, again, that dance. That balance is so necessary, as with the balance of anything.

Speaker 1:

But I find that going all in on yourself it doesn't always work. Sometimes it never works. Sometimes, I mean you could look back at goals that you've set for yourself. I mean it could be anything from something as relatively simple as, like a weight loss goal, like I'm gonna do it this time, I'm gonna go all in, I'm gonna work out every day, I'm gonna make sure I don't eat anything but lettuce or whatever it may be, and it just doesn't work. And I find that it's only when you can truly step back and really lean into who you're being healing, whatever parts need to be healed that are actually holding you back from doing the thing in the first place, that are actually holding you back from going all in on yourself. It's only when you do that that you actually make progress on your goals. And I find that it's really important to be able to do that Make progress on your goals and this just was such a game changer to me and I really want to share this because I think, again, you know, societally, culturally, just like the way that we've been trained to go after our goals, it just doesn't work for everyone.

Speaker 1:

I find that it doesn't work for most people, to be quite honest. And maybe goals at work where you have certain deadlines and people are relying on you, but I find that goals where it's something for yourself or you want to start a business, things that no one's holding you accountable at the end of the day for it takes so much more self-motivation and, again, just pushing through, just trying harder, just going, going, going won't get you there. It might get you a little bit of a jumpstart. You know, it's like that New Year's resolution, right. Like maybe the first couple of weeks you're feeling pretty and you know good, you're feeling into whatever those goals are, but then they start to fizzle, they start to fade, they start to fall out. It's like, why is that right? It's like we're not getting to the root of what's actually going on. We're going about our goals and this idea of going all in all wrong. So the other side to this is we have this idea about going all in on ourselves, specifically or I should say, like most of the time, specifically when it comes to goal setting in the achievement of something.

Speaker 1:

Another shift I want to offer and provide, because this one is also equally, if not more so, important and beautiful and necessary, is going all in on yourself just for the sake of you, for the sake of your own vibrancy, for your own well-being, for you just living a life that feels really good to you, and that's beautiful and wonderful. And we need more people like that. And I think we just get so caught up in our own heads and the pressure that you know the society places on us just to be doing and achieving and all these things. And again I mean here I am, I'm sharing this message and this podcast and I'm building a business, it's like. So I recognize that there's so many layers of this, but I wouldn't be doing anyone a service if I was only talking about business building and achieving and manifesting success. And while I love that and that's true for me, it doesn't have to be true for you and that's really freaking. Okay, right, like what is true for you is all that matters.

Speaker 1:

So what if, for you going all in on yourself to start with, simply finding what's true for you was simply allowing yourself to do the work to just see what feels good, to just see what you even want? What do you actually want? Like if you had no pressure of climbing the corporate ladder or achieving something or needing to create some business. Like then, what? Right, where do you find peace and fulfillment and satisfaction, ease, love? Can you start by just getting crystal clear on what that looks like? Can you go all in on yourself? What do you need? More of right? Do you need more love for yourself? Do you want to feel more worthy, more enoughness inside of you? Do you want to just feel more connected to life, to your own inner being and the power that's there? Right, like?

Speaker 1:

What if, again, we just shift the perspective away from going all in specifically on goals or solely on goals, and go all in on you? Like, what a beautiful place to be. Right, like there's so much room for, yeah, like self inquiry and self discovery and, again, as I mentioned in I think it was last week's episode, when I just talk about authenticity and how magnetic that is and being able to manifest from that place going all in on you, helps you return to that, helps you remember who you actually are. Right, when you take off all the mass, you take off all the layers that are no longer really serving you and that's a wonderful place to be. I remember I had a group program that I ran a couple months back and someone in that program you know saying like I just don't have any goals right now, and that feels really good and I really want to honor that because that's wonderful.

Speaker 1:

What space, what mental space, what emotional space, what just gets freed up when you let go of the pressure of needing to achieve something, of having a goal to work on right. I think that we all go in these seasons and again it's all about the balance and letting whatever comes up, whatever wants to come up, letting it come up. But what if you could just be and really like kind of coming into the holiday season, the winter season, if this is resonating with you and if you're kind of feeling called to this, like winter is such a wonderful time to try to slow down a bit. Go inward, just focus on things that really feel good and nourishing and start cultivating those practices to really help you discover, like, what's true for you and what feels good.

Speaker 1:

So, again, go all in on yourself by honoring yourself, by honoring exactly what you want to do, by even not even what you want to do, just by witnessing who you are, by noticing you know what's coming up for you. Where are you feeling a little bit depleted? Where are you feeling disconnected? Right, where do you need more nourishment, more love? Right, just witnessing, just noticing yourself. And that's where you start, that's how you go all in on yourself.

Speaker 1:

You go all in on yourself by saying I'm worthy of doing this work, I'm worthy of the inner work, the taking time for myself, for prioritizing myself and my needs. Like I'm worthy of that and I'm committed to that. Because I'm going all in on myself, right, and it's like you deserve that, like that's what you're here for, right, like this life is all about you and that's the approach you need to have and it's you know people are like, well, that could be so selfish. Or, you know, you have other things that you should be putting ahead of you and I just don't believe that and I'm sorry if that's triggering to some people, but for myself and my own experience I know that I show up best for the people that need me when I prioritize myself like period, end of story, and this doesn't mean to say like I'm gonna, you know, put my kids or family in any sort of harm or danger, like clearly I'm not saying that and not every day is perfect, but I no longer wait until everyone else's needs are met, for me too.

Speaker 1:

Make time for myself, because you know what? There would never be time. So I have to prioritize myself and then everything else gets done right. It's like with anything you know when you give yourself five minutes to straighten up your house, or you give yourself two hours to straighten up your house, it gets done right. So it's like put your priorities in place and put yourself at the head of those. I promise it may seem uncomfortable at first, but it gets so much easier because you start to feel better and as you feel better, everything around you just starts to work out better. There's more synchronicities, things get easier, your relationships start to improve, you're not as frustrated, like everything else just gets so much easier. So this leads me to like, why is this so important? Right? Like what really happens when you start to go all in on yourself. And again, whether this is on a goal or on yourself, it is just invaluable. And I guess let's talk about both things, because, even though I really want to shift the perspective and have you see this as going all in on yourself and not just a goal, I want to tie in also the benefit of really showing up for yourself around a goal and going all in there. So, as I started to mention, when you do this, you just start to feel better, right.

Speaker 1:

And I think that so many of us are just going through the day I say it all the time like we're on autopilot, we're just reacting to whatever life comes our way. We're not present to it, we're not conscious of it, we're just going, going, going. And we get to the end of the day. We're exhausted, we're unfulfilled, we're dissatisfied with something. We want more, we beat ourselves up for not knowing how to change it. And then we go to bed and we get up and we do it all again the next day and it's just like let's just wake up, right.

Speaker 1:

So when you start to just honor yourself, say I'm enough. I am worthy of living this life in a way that feels really freaking good to me. I am worthy of making this my best life. I'm worthy of all the experiences I want to have. Like whatever you want, like you're worthy of it. I mean, I just worth is such a big thing that my clients come to me about. I mean so unconscious, excuse me, but I do want to say that your worth is inherent. Like I wish that worth wasn't even a thing, but unfortunately it is such a thing that comes up over and over again. But you're already worthy. You're born worthy. Like your worth is not taken away from you, right, everyone is just worthy. You're here, you're born into this world and because of that you're worthy like period, end of story. And it's like.

Speaker 1:

Once you wake up to that, once you realize that, then you're not like, oh, I can't be doing this because I need to. Like I'm a mom and I need to be. Like validating myself as a mom through all of my mom duties, and then I'm never fulfilled because I'm so worried about doing everything for everybody else, right? So, again, get rid of that need to validate. Know that you're worthy of your own desires, not just your kids and your spouse and all of that. And then it's like, oh, like weight gets lifted maybe not all the weights, but one weight and you're like, oh, have a little bit of freedom here. I like have some space where I feel like, oh, I want to move and, okay, this feels good, I can do something for myself now.

Speaker 1:

Right, and it takes practice, but the more that you do this, you realize how many things start to shift in your life and how much easier things get, how much happier you start to feel, how much more at peace you start to feel. Maybe you even feel inspired, maybe you even feel excited and creative again, right, maybe there's a new way that you want to express yourself. Maybe now you actually have like a fun new thought or idea, something that you want to like bring to fruition, and that's beautiful. Again, whether it's in a way that is just truly for expression and creativity, or it's in a way that you know can transform your career, life or transform your finances. Whatever way, it doesn't matter, as long as it's true to you and as long as it feels good to you.

Speaker 1:

And I think again, because so many of us are just like going through the day on autopilot. I mean, how often have you had just like a really strong, like creative inkling to like want to go do something, where you're just like so lit up by something and you're like, yes, I have to do that. Like I feel it in my body, I'm like called to take action on this. Like that is such a beautiful experience. Like just having that alone is incredible, right? I think that everyone wants to feel inspired and we want to be in action right.

Speaker 1:

Here is where the balance of that masculine energy starts to come in. It's like when we are honoring ourselves, when we are just allowing ourselves to show up, for us to be not to do right, that's when things start to happen inside. We start to feel the peace, we start to feel the joy, we start to feel the excitement, the insight, whatever it may be, and now you're making room for that masculine energy to come in these ideas, these creative thoughts that you've had. You're now like, yeah, I need to move on this, right, and that's like where this beautiful dance and this beautiful balance comes in. Now, also honoring the masculine of now, I feel so good, I can actually act on that, right, because without honoring you, without honoring the feminine, without nourishing yourself, you're not going to be able to take the action you want to take.

Speaker 1:

Quite frankly, you might not even feel inspired in the first place, and like isn't that why we're here, like to be inspired and to see things and want to create or feel a certain way, express ourselves in a certain way. Right, like isn't that part of just like this beautiful, you know, dance of life and being in it all? So, again, how can you honor yourself? And I think that this becomes really hard for a lot of women because we're just so used to putting everyone else before ourselves. I know, right, my neighbor is around, so you possibly have a hand. It's like it's twofold, I think. If you are a mom because I think you know, naturally put others before ourselves and then you have kids, and not only are you putting them before you, there's also just typically less time. Right, your time is now filled with kids, duties and activities and that sort of thing.

Speaker 1:

But what I find is I'm not saying that these things aren't real. I'm a mom and I get that too. However, at the end of the day, it's still just another excuse, it's still just another layer and I can look back and see this clearly in my own personal experience, because prior to having kids, I would have had all the time in the world to be building when I previously, you know, when I was younger and I had started this fashion clothing line and I had so much time. But you know, I was finding other excuses, and right, because it's not the thing that's keeping you back, it's those limiting beliefs again held deep in the subconscious, and it's like those beliefs will, consciously or not, creep in and they'll just derail your progress, like they'll keep you from showing up and they'll derail you. And it's and it's really hard because we don't see it, we're not aware of it most of the time.

Speaker 1:

However, when you do again, go all in on yourself, really starting to practice this self discovery, self inquiry, seeing what feels good, you're creating space, you're creating the capacity for these blocks to show up. And I think oftentimes people get really triggered when the blocks show up or they're like, see, this isn't meant to work out, this isn't meant for me, I can't do this. But again, if you just stop and you zoom out and you see, oh no, this is the block that needed to come up, because now I'm a what. Now I have the capacity to fix it, to heal it. Now I am able to be aware of it. Now I'm able to see it right now I can work through it. Now I understand how it was trying to serve me in the past, but it's no longer going to serve me as I'm working to be the best version of myself. So now, how can I heal it, how can I let it go? And that's what it takes.

Speaker 1:

But it's hard. It keeps coming up until we're ready to see it. And then, even when we're ready to see it, we don't always know how to do the work. Sometimes we're just simply not ready to give ourselves permission, to say yes to ourselves, to go all in on ourselves Again. We're still really stuck in the I have to put other people before me, or I have all of these obligations, and it's like why aren't you giving yourself permission? Like, right there, there is resistance, that's a block. Do some self inquiry, figure it out. Understand what's going on.

Speaker 1:

Because once you can say yes to yourself, once you can give yourself permission again, you're opening your own capacity. You're showing God, the universe, your highest self, that you're saying yes to yourself, that you're committed to going all in on yourself and becoming the best version of you, in whatever way that looks like for you and whatever best way that feels for you. So, again, this is not like you're going to do this work this weekend and you're going to be ready to go and you're going to be showing up fully for yourself and it's going to feel really good and you're going to go all in. It's a little by little, right. Maybe it's just like saying yes to I'm going to get up tomorrow morning and I'm going to sit with myself for 10 minutes and just being gratitude. Or I'm just going to, like, sit with myself and try to find a little bit of joy, even though things don't feel that joyful right now. Right, it's just witnessing all of it, because there is a lot of just negative emotion that needs to be cleared before you get to the joy, and you can't fake it. You can't just say I'm going to just try to feel better, I'm just going to try to be positive.

Speaker 1:

I think, again, that goes back to like almost that masculine approach of I'm just going to push through, I'm just going to do it, I'm just going to. You know, I'm going to go all in and nothing matters. And that's why it doesn't work, because you're not, you're not healing all the things that needed to be healed. And simply by just again, 10 minutes in the morning, just being with yourself, just witnessing, just letting whatever needs to come up, just letting it be there, literally let it be there. Right, when you start to presence whatever is going on, you start to get your power back and that's just where it gets so good and so much easier.

Speaker 1:

And Again, it's not gonna be like a one-time thing, but if you do it every day, you do it for you know, maybe commit to yourself it's what, like the middle of October, you know, for the next two weeks, just say by October 31st, like for ten minutes every morning, I'm gonna just sit with myself, I'm just gonna witness, I'm just gonna notice whatever comes up, I'm going to nourish Myself, my thoughts, my body in whatever way feels good. And I promise you, the more you do this, the more embodied you will feel and your body will tell you. It will tell you what it needs, it will tell you what it wants, it will tell you how to move. It will, you know, give you the insights, the creative nudges, whatever your Desiring deep down, like it will guide you. I promise, promise.

Speaker 1:

So you know, giving that really a try and again, just when it feels hard, being so Committed to yourself, being so grounded in then knowing that again, you are worthy of whatever you want to experience, and when you're so grounded in that, even when it's hard, it's like you know you're doing the work for a reason and you know, even just getting crystal clear on what you want to experience from a a feeling standpoint. I don't mean what you want to Create or have, or do I mean how do you want to feel when you get crystal clear on what that Looks like and feels like for you, and when you can tap into that feeling, that sensation in your body. Now, like then, you can just be so grounded in that, right, you don't have to wait for All of the things that you want to do and have an experience to come to fruition. Now you're just so grounded in that feeling, in that knowing that it's available to you. So, instead of pushing and trying and doing all the things, you spend way more time just being who you want to be and and it will speed up everything that you want to want to have an experience and do. That's really where the real work is and, again, it doesn't have to be the pushing and the trying, it doesn't have to be that exhausting and boring. Quite frankly, it's like, doesn't it just feel? I Know, as I'm talking about this, I can feel it and I know what it's like, but it doesn't just feel good. The idea of just like moving and flow, being in flow, taking bold moves in a way that feel really confident, because you're just so embodied in what you're Called to do, in what you want to experience and how you want to feel. You're just Moving with such ease, like you're still moving, you're still in action, you're still decisive, but it's just, it just happened so much more naturally and that that feels really really good. So, yeah, so how can you start to Cultivate this more for yourself? And I love that.

Speaker 1:

You see, you know so many things online about morning routines and this and that, and I think that there's, you know, some truth to that, and some people, you know, need a little inspiration and guidance and I appreciate all of that. I was, you know. I've definitely benefited from that and needed that at one point. But what I have come to Understand now is that, again, trust yourself. Your body knows you have the strategy that you need. Right, like trust yourself. What Feel into that? What does that mean for you? And again, you can't come up with this on autopilot. This takes Self-reflection, it takes slowing down, it takes sitting in quiet, tapping into your body. Right, just asking yourself what do I need to feel better today? What do I need to feel less stressed about? X, right, be super specific, ask yourself the questions that you deeply desire the answers to and then trust that they're gonna come.

Speaker 1:

If you're not in this practice yet, it may just sound a little woo-woo, it may sound a little crazy, but the body has so much more, much more to give us than we really give it credit for. Right, like it already does so much for us. Right, completely Unconsciously to us. Right, we don't have to think about breathing, we just breathe. Right, we don't have to think about beating our heart, it just beats and it's. It's the same thing like, just let yourself Tap into. Just like the wealth of knowledge and information that already exists inside of you, that is Already available to you, when you are connected to your higher self. Right, your inner being, your soul. However, you want to Look at that part of you. But it's wise Eyes beyond all the years of your thinking brain, right, it knows and just, Even if it feels awkward, even it feels uncomfortable, even if there's resistance around it again, can you give yourself five minutes tomorrow morning, ten minutes. Just start to feel into this, just start to see how this feels and what other practices I shouldn't say what other practices what other things currently are you doing where you're aware that you're like you know what this really isn't serving me, like drinking Diet Cokes all day long, just really not serving me.

Speaker 1:

I have a lot of brain fog. I am feeling irritable. I'm craving sweet foods, right, like, maybe I just need to start drinking a couple glasses of water and ditch one thing of soda. Maybe I'm mindlessly scrolling on social media at night before bed, when I could just turn off the phone and let myself fall asleep peacefully or read, or turn off the TV a little earlier. Right, I'm really not trying to say, like, what practices are best or worse or you know, telling you what you need to do. But you know, like I really want you to realize that you have all the power, like the power is in your hands and when you slow down and tap into okay, this isn't working for me and what can I do? Instead? It starts small, right. These small, little shifts can make such a big difference.

Speaker 1:

I'm really again. It just starts by going all in on yourself, on honoring yourself, on saying yes, I am worth it and I'm committed to being the best version of myself. It takes time and it takes some healing, it takes some inner work, but it's so beautiful on the other side of that and it feels so freaking good. And you're like why didn't I do this so much earlier, right? Why was I so worried about instead living up to everyone else's expectations of me that I put myself on the back burner for so long? But that's okay, right, that was part of your story also. That's the best thing of all of this, like, as you notice yourself, as you witness, as you just are with yourself, it's like, again, everything is here to serve, right? There's a lesson in all of it. We need something to happen to help us get to the next level, to help us see something in a way that we didn't see it before, and I hope that this episode did that for you. I hope that this episode helped you to start to see ideas around goals and really going all in on yourself in a way that maybe you didn't see before and really, hopefully, in a way that calls you to say, yeah, I'm gonna try this because I am worth it, because you are, and that's like the biggest truth of all. Right, and that's just the only thing that you need to know as you go through the day. So I hope you have a beautiful day.

Speaker 1:

I am starting a live series next week where I'm going live every morning at 5.30 am Eastern time. So I kind of had this idea where it's like it just does. It feels so good to just wake up early and have those moments to yourself, to be in gratitude, to just lean into whatever feels good in the moment, and I think it really sets your day up for abundance. So if you wanna join me, maybe you're like not such an early riser, maybe 5.30 sounds like a stretch, but you're like, oh, I would love to get to a place where I'm doing that and I'm having a few minutes for myself in the morning.

Speaker 1:

Get up with me, get your coffee, just sit. You don't have to do anything. We can just have this nice little morning experience together. So I'll share, just like a reminder about that in the show notes below and that's in my stories as well, if you just wanna screenshot that and remind yourself. I'm doing that every morning next week. I believe that's starting Monday, the 22nd. Again, I'll double check the dates and put the right ones in the show notes. So I hope you have a beautiful day and I hope you choose yourself today.