Self-Love Is Not Self-Indulgence: Healing Emotional Burnout From Within | S2,EP4

Feeling emotionally exhausted, overwhelmed, or disconnected from yourself, even when everything on the outside looks fine? In this episode of Holistic Happiness Club, host Akshay Tiwari sits down with life coach, Reiki Grandmaster, and holistic healer Sumeet to unpack what emotional burnout really looks like and why self-love is often misunderstood as an excuse to avoid change rather than a foundation for it.

Sumeet shares her personal journey from software engineer to healer, opening up about the anxiety, depression, and emotional suppression that pushed her toward inner-child healing, energy work, and life coaching. Together, they explore why so many people, especially women juggling work and family, end up pouring from an empty cup, and what it actually takes to refill it.

This conversation goes beyond surface-level advice. You'll learn:

• Why self-love doesn't mean you stop working on yourself, it means you finally start with clarity instead of guilt
• The real meaning behind "become selfish to become selfless" and why boundaries are an act of care, not selfishness
• How inner child healing helps break patterns of people pleasing, fear of rejection, and difficulty saying no
• Two simple, at-home exercises: brain dumping to release mental clutter, and mirror work to rebuild self-worth
• Why healing isn't reserved for major life crises, but a daily practice, just like cleaning your body or your space
• How burnout recovery starts with reconnecting to yourself before reconnecting with everyone else

Whether you're a working professional feeling stretched thin, a parent quietly running on empty, or simply someone who feels stuck and can't quite name why, this episode offers both emotional validation and practical tools you can use the same day you listen.

Tune in for an honest, grounded conversation about emotional exhaustion, self-worth, boundaries, and what it really means to heal from the inside out.

Transcript

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I had lost my interest in life. the first thing I tell them is, like, you need to fall in love with yourself first. Once you, you'll feel connected to self, then you'll see shifts happening around in your environment, like we clean our body every day, we need to clean our emotions every day. We need to unburden ourselves. That's where healing happens. healing is not just that you went through something huge in your life, and then you go to a healer, and you take some sessions. Now it has become a need every day for everyday life you have to become selfish to become selfless. how would you say that it is coming from inner child, n- being not healed, and it is just not the personality? Hello and welcome back to another episode of Holistic Happiness Club, the space where we explore what it truly means to live a fulfilling life, not just through success and achievement, but through inner peace, emotional wellbeing, meaningful relationships, mindfulness, purpose, and conscious living. The alignment between your inner peace, inner world, and outer success as well. I'm your host, Akshay Tiwari, and in every episode, we dive into conversations that help you grow, not just externally, but internally, too. Let's begin. Hi, Sumit. Welcome to Holistic Happiness Club. How are you? I'm good, Akshay. Thank you so much for having me here. How are you doing today? I'm very well. I'm wonderful. Thank you so much for asking. It's raining outside, Dutch weather, but yeah, all good. Yeah. Oh, you're lucky we have summers here, so- … it's too hot here, yeah. It was supposed to be summer here. Okay. But they said don't trust the Dutch weather. So yeah. That's the case right now. Anyways, looking forward for a great discussion here. for the listeners who are listening to you for the first time, and of course you are, the first-time guest on Holistic Happiness Club. So for the listeners of Holistic Happiness Club, can you please introduce yourself in your own words as who you are and what brings you here? Definitely. I'm a computer engineer, basically, and, then what happened is some, so my life through some challenges and I had to shift myself from technical field to healings. for the viewers, currently I'm residing in India. I'm in Chandigarh. I'm a mother of two beautiful kids. the work I do is basically life coaching sessions, and I'm a healer. I do different modalities like Ho'oponopono, inner child healing, cord cutting, and I'm a Reiki Grand Master. So I healed myself, and now I- my mission is to heal many more, like, who are facing issues like I faced in my life, and I don't want anyone to go through those kind of, emotions that I went through. So that's my mission. Right. All right, so, walk us through the, your journey as you talked about just now, and we also have talked offline. Mm … walk us through your journey. you were a software engineer. I am also a software engineer, and you went into coaching. What happened? Yeah. So walk us through that story as well, and tell us the triggering point, what has caused, you to shift into coaching and healing? Yes, definitely. so I did my computer engineering. The first thing that I would love to mention to viewers is like I was not interested in, engineering. My whole family is a family of engineers. Even now, my father-in-law, my husband, my brother, my cousins, my mamus and all. So, you know- Born engineers … that is… Yes. So that, that, you know, burden of expectations, th- that, at that time, that was expected, either take medical or non-medical, right? Right. So, I was good in studies, and I w- a lot of expectations were put on me that, I took that to please my parents, basically my father, because I, thinking that this would make him happy, right? But I was not happy inside. Later on I realized if I had taken, you know, arts and done something different, maybe it had been a f- more fulfilling journey. So, lot of thoughts, but I did it, I did very good in my studies, in my engineering, and then I, I went abroad for my higher studies. As soon as I landed, I was in Canada, I knew this place is not for me. I didn't like the vibe. I'm deeply rooted in India- Mm-hmm … and I'm very much attached to my roots. So, from there, the, journey of anxiety began, and I was there for a good seven, eight years. I had put on a lot of weight. I constantly kept on telling my parents that I want to come back because of the societal things like, you know, if a child comes back, what would people think, and all those things. So I can now, as a… I am a mother, I can understand how they must… kind of challenges they might be facing at that time. Mm-hmm. So I started facing, depression and, you know, I started s- I was suppressing a lot of emotions b- because of which I had, hair fall started. I had put on a lot of weight. And a time came, and I started talking to myself. I just realized, like, while I was traveling in, bus, like would go to my university or my college or to my workplace, I was talking to myself, and people around me were looking at me, kind of thing, you know? That was the kind of anxiety level I was reaching. So one day I just called my father, and I had a knife in my hand, and I just, you know, said like, "Either call me back or you're going to re- lose me today." So that's, when my father said, you know, "Wrap up everything. Next flight lo aur India aa jao." Hmm. I came back. My father introduced me to Reiki at that time. So I did my Reiki Grandmaster, I did my yoga teacher training program and acupressure. That, those three things, modalities I learned. So things started moving, but then- You learned or you went through those, first, to heal yourself or make yourself better? w- the Reiki level one is such when you start learning Reiki, so Reiki level one, you work on yourself. Okay. Okay. So o- once I started working on my… Like, Reiki and yoga were the first things. First I started, doing, practicing yoga with my father, and then I started learning, going for Reiki, lessons. So Reiki level one is all healing yourself. Mm-hmm. You don't heal anyone else. Okay. So that's, your body, your mind, everything, you work on it. then my teacher told me that, "Why don't you learn it? You're doing good," right? So then I took the next step. so, you complete level one, you practice for a good amount of time. Yeah. Then you go to level two, you practice, and then you go for Reiki Grandmaster, once you feel that you're ready- Mm-hmm … for it. So yeah, so that's how my journey began, towards healing. All right. so we'll talk a lot, more about, it, and, you said that you are also a life coach. it was in 2010 I came back. Okay. And before that, for seven, eight years you were in Canada, right? six. I would say six. I went in 2004, so yes. Yeah. Six years. All right. All right, so since 2010 you are here, and since 2010 you are practicing reiki and acupressure, and you are learning and teaching yoga. And when did your journey to life coaching begin? Yeah. So that's, that's an interesting thing. I was, I was having, you know, that blockage in me that I don't like abroad, I don't like Canada. Mm-hmm. Now, when you resist something, nature pushes you more towards it. Okay. So once I got married, my husband decided to go back to Canada, because he was also in Canada before our marriage. Mm. So he said, "Why not go back there and settle down?" So again, I had to go back there, So I went back, and then again, a, those series of… you know, one of the other challenges started coming up. My first baby was delivered. I faced a lot of health issues, during ma- that pregnancy and delivery. So I had to come back when my daughter was three years old. So then I came back. Now, during that time I started realizing, I noticed, elderly women around me, right? Like our mothers, grandmothers, even in our locality, that they invest so much of themselves in their children, right? Right. So when the kids grow up, they're not able to let them go to live their life. Mm-hmm. Because sometimes what happens, like, they are empty. They didn't get that love from their spouse- Right … or their environment, so they invest the whole thing in their kids. Mm. Now, they… w- when the kids grow up, they are not able to release that hold on them, because of which- Mm a lot of families are suffering, right? Mm. So I… then it came to me that I need to do something to learn something so that I, I don't end up doing the same thing to my kids. Mm-hmm. Right? Because my husband is abroad, and I'm totally taking care of my kids right now, so I'm investing a lot of myself in my kids. I don't want to do that, that when they grow up, all of a sudden I feel that my life is empty, what to do now? Mm. And then I'm just, you know, not letting them live their life. So I wanted to build a life for myself, work on myself, and also help other women who have such issues. So that's how, I s- I thought of doing it. I started learning more healing modalities, and then I came across life coaching, that there's something called life coaching. So yes- Mm … I did my research and then went through that coaching certification. All right. So now you are a life coach and a healer both, and you are- Yes … also a yoga practitioner. Also, you teach yoga. Yes. So, so many things, right? Yes … fun question. Which one is your favorite? healing. Meditation I just love. When, when- Okay … I meditate and I take people through those meditations where, Mm-hmm… everything is kind of, if it's, cord it all involves kind of meditations. When I see people crying and releasing those emotions that were stuck in their body for years- Mm-hmm… that kind of, you know, gives that I'm able to do something. I'm contributing in their life, you know? Mm-hmm. So that is my favorite, yes. Okay. And so that brings me to my next question, that you say that you are a holistic, coach. you transform lives. You believe in life transformation, not just healing. So what do you mean by that? What is holistic, and what is transformation? If somebody is going through some issue maybe, right? Some emotional issue, some baggage or whatever it is- When they think of holistic healing, what they should think and when they think of, holistic, what does that mean to someone who is going through some issues? actually for me, holistic means not, wholesome kind of, That's how I perceive it for myself- Mm-hmm … and for my clients. Right. I don't want them to just work on, the outer self, right? But the whole aspect of their personality, be it mental, physical, spiritual, emotional. So I w- when I take sessions, that is my purpose, my thing that I want them to transform in every sense. Mm-hmm. Because what happened, when I was going through that phase, I was losing confidence in my physical looks, right? Like, how, how I… I- There were times in, when I was in Canada, I was all alone, I won't look at mirror, right? Mm-hmm. Because that was not the Summi that was in India. Mm-hmm. Right? I was, like, I was thin, I was… Like, I, I'm a tall woman. I, I loved myself at that time. Full of life, right? Mm-hmm. And then all of a sudden, I had lost my interest in life. Mm-hmm. When I would look in mirror, I… It was very, I would either cry or I would just, you know, move my eyes, eyeballs. That I don't like what I'm seeing- Okay … basically. That is the physical aspect of it, right? Then the emotional thing, that the, the suppression, years of suppression of emotions. So that is it. Then your relation to God, u- universe. Like, whomsoever people, like- Yeah … in Hindi they say, their Isht Bhagwan. Like, it could be that also, right? I love when I'm able to build that trust in people, in universe, that you don't need a media- media- mediator. Yes, for some time you need, then try, I'll help them develop that relation with universe, that « aap unse mango jo mangna hai », right? Mm-hmm. So that for me, that is the whole holistic approach towards healing. Okay. And as you said, that it, it is a whole, and it is a wide spectrum. And in your modalities, your modalities are also very wide. You are a energy healer, you are a Reiki Grandmaster. you do meditation, you teach meditation, and, cord cutting, inner child healing. Then there is life coaching aspect, then there is yoga. When someone comes to you, what do you think what they do need the most? Most of them, what do they need? And how do you recognize that, and w- from where do you start? Or maybe I will rephrase a little bit, because what I'm trying to draw out is if somebody is going through something, many of the times people don't know when, whether they are going to through something. They usually think it's just a phase, it will pass, once I'll get this, once I'll get that, once I'll, once my job is switched, or if I, if I'll get a job, this will be over. What- whatever, whatsoever They don't know that they need something. So f- from which perspective they should look at? Yes. Be- be, the first thing I want to mention is that right now I'm mostly focusing on women. Mm-hmm. Okay What happens with women is that they are always giving, right? Yeah. So they lose that, connection with themselves. Mm-hmm. They- they're always thinking about others, right? Mm-hmm. So the first step for me when, when she comes to me is to make her fall in love with herself again. Okay. Right? If I talk about myself, for years I was j- I was not, not even dressing up. I w- I would be in my T-shirts and pajamas all the time, right? Mm-hmm. When my daughter was born and I was feel- I was facing some anxiety issues, I won't even comb my hair for y- for days. That was the kind of things I was going through, right? Mm-hmm. And then I see the same me in so a lot of women, right? Mm-hmm. So the first thing I tell them is, like, you need to fall in love with yourself first. Okay. Once you, you'll feel connected to self, then you'll see shifts happening around in your environment, right? I'm a big follower of Wayne Dyer. I, I've, you know, read his books, I have seen… I, I usually keep on watching his, content. So he always says, and it's, even said in our entrepreneurships and way that ask that you can't change people, you can only change yourself, right? Mm-hmm. The first thing that I help them shift is that instead of asking all the time that, "Why me? Why is it happening to me?" Shift your questions from why me to how can I, you know- Yeah… bring a shift in this? Okay. So that is the shift I try to bring in them. So we go through a lot of processes with, with which, us, I, you know, I seed it and then I see that plant blossoming, a baby plant then a plant blossoming. so that's the journey. Sure. I'll come to self-love and falling in love with the self, but before that, this energy healing or Reiki or healing in general, that is seen from skepticism. Mm-hmm. Like, many people do not believe it. So what do you want to say to people who will say that, "Prove it works"? these days a lot of people have this concept that, one baby is enough, right? Mm. Now, my second baby, I said, like, it's, it's a manifestation from me. It's, something I asked God, because my whole family w- had this thing that, okay, one baby is enough, right? So I never, never talked to my husband, and we never discussed it. I was never after him that, you know, why? I never questioned him. I only did healings. I only did the w- whatever I know, right? Praying to God or manifestation techniques so that his viewpoint should change. Mm-hmm. Right? So I was not manipulating him in any, any ways. It wa- they were just my prayers. And it happened, right? Mm-hmm. And I would always imagine, like visualize myself, my daughter, I have a daughter first, my daughter, and my husband, and a little baby, I have in my hands. And we, we have a new house in Canada, and we have a car parked there. Mm-hmm. I did, okay, all that I used to visualize, then my second baby was born. I had forgotten about it. Then we went for eight, nine months, we moved back to Canada, and there was Diwali and, We clicked a picture, a family picture, like some family friends and « aap logo ki photo khich de Mm. Photo khich ke kuch samayon ke baad, I was just scrolling my phone and I said, "Oh, my God, this I used to visualize at that time," right? Mm. Yeah. And this is the same picture, though it's not a baby I'm carrying in my hand. He was four years old. He was standing. So this, yes, these things, energy work ha- it is very much real. Right. Then when we moved back to Canada, I didn't want to go back to Canada. Whe- while we were going to, board our, plane, like, you know, Delhi ja rahe the, I just again talked to universe. I said, "You know that I'm deeply bonded in India. You know that I'm more happy in India. Now you have to do something and bring me back here." Yeah. So again, I never talked, I never told anyone that, this is what I want. Just, you know, and then I did my healings, my Reiki, my visualizations. Within eight months, situations changed. My husband's mindset changed, and he said,"It's better you take kids back to India, and I'll move back there." So this is about manifestations and visualizations. Now I have seen people with, you know, physical problems, with, years of chronic pains- Yeah… being healed through these modalities through Ho'oponopono, where they work on their nervous system. Yeah. So this is a basically science. It is not some magic that is happening. Yeah. There's deep science behind it. Yeah. So that's how this… I just wanted to give examples to make people understand that these things are possible. And I have such client stories, testimonials, where they have seen these magics happen. We don't-- We call them magic, but there's deep science behind them. Let's come back to the topic of self-love and inner child healing, because for, so many, this is kind of a woo-woo thing, where, where, they don't know what, what is being, what is happening there, and what is actually self-love or what is inner child healing? So if you can just shed some light on that, w- what is it and how does it work? So then we can, talk further. Sure. Now, inner child healing, this jo hai concept, ye hamare childhood wounds se aaya hai. Bachpan mein hum, we go through a lot of things jahan par hum khud ko express nahi kar paate hain. Mm-hmm. Some people, some children, they go through a very toxic environment. They know it, but sometimes even in houses where everything looks normal, children are going through a lot of things. We went through a lot of things where we used to suppress our emotions. Mm-hmm. Now, when we grow up as adults, w- how we can seek a, a childhood wounds hai? When we see ourselves people-pleasing, always seeking for validation. Mm-hmm. we are not able to say no to people. Mm-hmm. We, we end up saying yes. Okay. Right? These kind of then, there's fear of rejection- Mm-hmm … abandonment. So when we see all these kind of things, then we know that, okay, there are, there is something in childhood that needs to be healed. Okay. Right? Before we continue, if you have been enjoying these conversations and they have added value to your life, I would really appreciate your support. Please take a moment to subscribe, leave a rating or review, and share this episode with someone who might genuinely benefit from it. And if something in this conversation resonated with you, let me know in the comments or send your thoughts and feedback. I truly read them, and they help shape future episodes of Holistic Happiness Club. Your support helps this message reach more and more people who may need these conversations right now. Now, let's get back to the episode In, psychology, we hear that there are these different type of, personalities. One of the personality is that that person is a people-pleaser, or he's a yes-man or something. H- how would you say that it is coming from inner child, n- being not healed, and it is just not the personality? And have you seen the example that somebody who was a yes-man or yes-woman, people-pleaser, and when they did this work of inner child healing, they, they started to guard their interest better after inner child healing? Yes. Now, inner child healing is means we take them to their childhood, right? Then they are able to rec- recall those incidents- Mm-hmm … where they picked up these emotions. Mm-hmm. Right? And they went unnoticed. Okay. As a result, what happens, things happened, they went unnoticed, but your subconscious mind is registering everything. Mm-hmm. Right? Now, as an adult, when we take them back to those childhood memories- Okay when sometimes in beginning they, they just, "We are blank." They say that, "We are blank. There's nothing. I can't recall anything." Right. But after a few sessions, they are able to recall such small, small incidents. For example, there's, there was one lady, she said, in her class where I think she was in third or fourth grade, she tried to speak up in front of the teacher, and she fumbled, and everyone laughed, right? Right. Now, even the teacher, instead of understanding, she also laughed with kids, and then she scolded that, "You didn't prepare," or, "You didn't, revise," or whatever it, the situation was. Now, that was registered in her subconscious mind. Of course. So then she said that become a habit. She became scared of, you know, putting up her point in front of people. So when we do inner child healing, when we release through inner child healing, when we release those emotions, then slowly people start opening up. They gain their confidence back, and then since now she d- she's not working, she doesn't have to go and present somewhere, but in families they are able to put their point- in front of their family. Mm-hmm. Rather than suppressing their opinions, their emotions. Of course. Okay. That's a big step. Yeah. Please continue. You were, continuing with, self-love before I interrupted. Yes. Self-love, basically, there, how you can work on self-love. Now, self-work is, self-love is… I always tell my clients, like, you know, the first thing that you can do is what I shared before, that I was not able to look in the mirror. And I say, like, every morning, stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself, like I tell m- myself that, "I love you, Sumeet. I love you the way you are," right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Even that takes a while for many people, many women. They say, "We don't like doing it." Mm-hmm." We don't like l- looking at ourselves." And I said, "No, look into your eyes. Keep doing it. Make it a ritual. You have to do it, right?" Mm. So a simple exercise there, like this, has brought a lot of difference in me. So I see when they start doing it, it brings- I think huge difference in their confidence. Okay. And slowly that, you know, feeling of self-love, it starts popping up, it starts building in them. And so like this, there are small… a lot of things that we do, a lot of, processes and techniques we use to help them, you know. Self-love is not something, it's just you connect, you know, con- that building that connection back to self. Now, what is that connection? The connection we had as babies. Mm. Mm-hmm. Right? So just taking them back to that, with what they were born. Mm-hmm. For me, that is self-love. I have a little counter here, and, I'm just trying to play a devil's a- advocate. No problem. I've seen a lot of people, they- Mm… take this self-love, and, I have seen that especially in… not especially, but m- my small database is limited to Gen Z, and many other- Mm They say that, because of the self-love thing, "I love myself- Mm … the way I am." And I see that, dude, you need to work on yourself. I can see that. I'm not saying do- start hating yourself, but don't hide behind the thing that, "I love myself, that's why I don't need to change myself." it can be, physical, it can be, Mm emotional, or it can be any other part of their personality that someone needs to work on. But what will you say to people who hide behind this label that, "I love myself and that's why I don't need to work on myself. I don't need to change myself"? Now, if you can recall, I just mentioned that I tell my clients to stand in front of mirror and say- Mm-hmm"I love", take your name, like, "I love Sumita, and I love you the way you are." Mm-hmm. Now, here also this question can come, okay, like you, you know, we are telling them- Right… to hide behind whatever they are. No. First of all, a lot of people are not able to accept them, you know, the way they are. Yeah. So first we try to bring that self-acceptance- Mm and then gradually we move them towards taking actions to bring shifts in them, right? Mm. For example, like I said, then, there's a beautiful thing everyone is talking on net these days, like a gratitude. Write four gratitudes. Mm-hmm. Write 10 gratitudes. Yes, it works, right? Mm-hmm. Now, self-love doesn't mean that you don't have to make any changes in yourself. It is, like, first accept yourself, then you'll start getting clarity. We help them get clarity, like what is, you know, stopping them from doing what they should be doing. So bringing that, to awareness. So that is acceptance, and then awareness. Now, when people, like you say, Gen Z, when people are on social media and they are listening to it, yes, they are using it for their comfort, right? Mm-hmm. But if a person comes to a healer or a life coach, so then they help them, that you f- you have to become selfish, you have to love yourself. Hmm. Selfish here doesn't mean selfish. It, it means become self- Hmm… selfish to later become selfless. Okay, okay. Right? Can you explain that, s- become selfless… this self-love also is being, misused by many. Hmm … I'm carefully choosing the word misused, Yes… that because of self-love, I'm m- I mean, 25% or maybe 50% of the, of the time, I am- Hmm … engrossed only in myself. I don't care about the whole world because I love myself. I- it's self-love. Hmm. Yeah. Yes. Now this is, the impact of social media, because what this, generation is seeing, whatever they are seeing, they are perceiving the world as they, as whatever they see on social media, right? So, there it comes the parenting and, all those aspects of it which, where, their exposure, we need to watch their exposure, and it has become very challenging. Now, this is a totally different, topic than, But- Yeah self-love doesn't mean just… I mean, like in the beginning, I said holistic. It doesn't mean just dressing up. Mm-hmm. It just doesn't mean just thinking about myself. Hmm. When I said become selfish to become selfless means, you must have heard that apna cup, fill your cup first, and only then- Right you'll be fill others' cups, right? You cannot- So it means- … pour from an empty- Right. now I love myself, now I know that my, my true worth, basically, right? Mm-hmm. When I when I get that, then I'm able to guide other people, then I'm able to help people. So that is how in healing when we use self-love, that's the meaning of it. Like, with love, with, empathy, with compassion, with kindness, and, then only you can, you know, help others. Basically, self-love is not to hide and not to not- No … work on yourself, but I think- Yes … it's a beginning on how you start working on yourself. Yes. Yes. Now, for a person who, who is hating himself or herself, who's blaming himsel- himself or herself, who's always in a complaining mode- Mm right? Now, they won't be loving them, means they don't love themselves enough. For them, we use terms like, okay, you need to love yourself. Mm. You need to have that self-love. It's not about just dressing up. It's not about just taking selfies or, you know, being good in front of camera or anything. It's, it's basically that soul, it's basically that spiritual journey that we are talking about. So hope to people, who are listening to this, they will be able to, distinguish between these two, that self-love, the term itself is not to hide, that okay, I love myself, that's why, and that is why I do not need to work on, myself. But I think it's the contrary, that I love myself, and that is why I would love to improve myself. I love myself, therefore I'm becoming selfish and I'm taking care of myself. Yeah. right. All right. to the listeners of, Holistic Happiness Club, I believe a lot of people are office-goers. they work in, men and women both. So with the, kind of, uncertainty that the world is having right now, and even if you remove the world anyways, if you are in a, in, in a office-going life and you have to manage the personal life and the work life, sometime people get, get exhausted and people feel burned out. And, in, in those cases, not cases, or in the- in those, areas, how does healing work? And does it work or d- do you think it is better than the other, modalities of working on themselves? Or what is your take on that? Because, with the listeners of Holistic Happiness Club, it is a common theme of, exhaustion and burnout. That people, I mean, who go to office or even let's say, let's not, fix it, to something, but in general, when people feel exhaustion and burnout, especially when they are juggling multiple things, Mm One example can be office life and the personal life. especially it becomes hassle for women because they- have to dedicate a lot of time to personal life as well because whereas, men can hide,"Okay, I'm going to office, so maybe I'm not, I'm not, the household things are not my responsibility. I'm doing whatever I can. That's it." Right? Especially to women. So this exhaustion and burnout, that is a common theme, nowadays with people. So how healing and, self-worth, self-love or whatever the modality that you follow, I do not want to name it anything, or life coaching, how does that help people who are, experiencing exhaustion or burnout? Okay. now what happens is that, like we need to clean our body every day, right? Mm-hmm. to take off the dirt and, you know, cleanse our body. The same way we need to clean our mind. Mm. Because there's a lot of overthinking, then some people there's a lot of pressure from boss, then your kids is, some… There are a lot of things, like for women, even for men especially, lot of challenges at work. So like we clean our body every day, we need to clean our emotions every day. We need to unburden ourselves. That's where healing happens. healing is not just that you went through something huge in your life, and then you go to a healer, and you take some sessions. Now it has become a need every day for everyday life, right? For whatever- challenges we are facing. For example, emotional freedom technique, right? So this is a beautiful technique which we use to regulate our nervous system. It calms your nervous system. Right? So what happens is that we tap on, our body points, and then we release those emotions, right? Now, these emotions can be years of suppressed emotions, and these can also be something that you face during the whole day, right? Mm-hmm. So this is how you unburden all those emotions. So then that's where the healing can play a big, huge part in managing all these things. Okay. All right. now we are proceeding towards the last leg of this conversation. But before proceeding to the last leg, I have, one question. That somebody who is, listening to this, and they know that exha- that they are exhausted, they are, they are burnt out, or maybe they are going through something which they cannot name. They do not know whether it's exhaustion, whether it's burnout, or whether it's clogged up emotions, or it is too much burden of responsibilities and too many things that are, going on. Maybe they are not exhausted, but they do not want to do this. They do not want to push through anymore. Maybe they need healing, or maybe they need life coaching. Maybe they need something. But they don't know what they need, and they don't know what is possible. What do you want to tell them? Okay. there's a beautiful exercise we do, it's called brain dumping. Mm-hmm. So whosoever is confused, like, you know, what is it that is bothering them, and what can they do about it? Take a piece of paper, pen, play some nice music, right? Sit at a place where nobody's going to disturb you. if you have created some, corner in your house where you pray, right? Or where you do your meditations, sit at-- preferably sit over there, right? Do brain dumping. Brain dumping means, «Jo bhi apke mann mein aa raha hai, jiske vajah se aap woh exhausted feel ho rahe hai. Aap likhte jao.» Two, three, four pages, ji- jitna apka you feel. Till the time, nonstop aap usko dump karte jao. By the end of it, on that piece of paper, you'll have a lot of things- Mm-hmm… that you'll know that, you know, these are the things that make me feel exhausted. Mm-hmm. And then you'll be able to understand that, yes, I need healing, right? Here also, I would love to mention for… like I earlier also mentioned, if you don't know anything right now, trust me and start doing that mirror work, that mirror exercise that I mentioned. Okay. Right? Which is to stand in front of the mirror and say that I love you message. In front of the mirror, all that you have to say is, look into your eyes that, Sumit, like I'm looking into the camera, Sumit, I love you. I love you the way, way you are. You can even say things like, like, you are beautiful. Like, whatever challenges, if you feel I'm not beautiful, I'm not confident- Mm-hmm I'm manipulated by other people. I'm confident, I'm beautiful, I'm powerful, right? So just two, three statements you can add with that. But the basic thing that I want you to is love yourself is, I love you. Because aaj ki duniya mein bahut log hai jo log gha- gharon mein reh rahe hai but they feel unloved, unheard, and unseen, right? Toh agar hume kahin aur se nahin mil raha hai, let's fill ourselves. Hum khud ko khud bharna shuru karein. Okay. And those who are not able to do that, please contact Sumeet. That's where the guides or coach or the healers come into picture, that if you are not able to do it yourself, you need a guide or you need someone to help you walk through that journey. All right. so that is something I think everyone can do, and this mirror exercise that everyone can do or this brain dumping that everyone can do, irrespective of whether or not they, they feel that they need healing or they feel that they don't need healing, or irrespective of in which point of their life or exhaustion or burnout they are. But, you know, they can just follow this process and they can feel better. Yes, actually, I, I just want to add one thing, that once you have done with brain dumping, sometimes there are a lot of things that nobody knows and we don't want anyone to know, right? Mm-hmm. We are just, you know, letting out everything. Mm-hmm. Burn that paper or tear it off, flush it off- Mm-hmm That's how you finish this whole exercise, and with an intention that, you know, I'm surrendering everything to universe now. Okay. So that's, that's how you complete the process. All right. All right. I have a little, rapid fire, so that will be the last leg of our conversation. But before that, is there anything which is very important that should be talked about and we haven't talked about? yeah, I think we talked a lot about emotions. We, physical movement, that's also, I, I think being a yoga teacher, I would, don't want to leave that aside. You don't have to go anywhere, right? You don't have to enroll always for some yoga or some gym. If you can't, please, even if you have some, you're facing some physical, ailment that you can't do, intense exercise, move your body. Right? Okay. So you can, go for a walk, you can, play some music, in your room and just move your body, and if you are on, due to some reason you are on bed, you can't do all those things, just a little, little So I just wanted to add that physical movement is also very, very important. Okay. So move how much ever or whatever, in whatever way possible for you. So you can move the way, like, whichever way. Okay. All right. So now is the time for rapid fire. Are you ready? Sure. All right. So energy healing or talk therapy, if you could, could only recommend one to someone. I'm a big fan of energy healing. All right. One word for where most of people are emotionally right now. Because they don't know what to do. They… Lot of overthinking and emotions- Mm-hmm … but no way of, way, way to figure out how to release. So a feeling of feeling stuck, like, you know, even when you think, "Why me?«Mere sath hi kyu ho raha hai»," kind of. Mm. So that feeling is always… Even, for working person, they are feeling stuck. Mm. they want to switch job or they want- Yeah … a change in environment. Yeah. Women, they're feeling stuck, with, you know, a situations- Yeah … where, Right… with kids, and also, yeah, Okay. And d- do you think that somewhere social media is also to blame, to add to their confusion? I, there was a study where, they saw, like, every next generation till now, till us, every next generation, there was brain develop- development happening. The next generation was always more sharper, right- Mm-hmm than the previous generation, more intelligent. Right. Th- now what is happening, the next generation, it is deteriorating. There's a study. And then that person said, "When I did a, deep study of the thing, this happened the year when smartphone was introduced." Oh, okay. So phones are getting smarter, and we are getting dumb and dumber. A morning ritual that you would never skip. Writing my gratitudes. Okay. You do that every morning? Every morning. Okay. I have this e- even on my table. So you can purchase, you can even, you know, purchase, some, notebook and start writing even, but you can go on Instagram. There are so many people, they're selling these, gratitude journals. Get one. Write gratitude. We need to be thankful. That is something you can't miss. You need to be in that energy of being thankful to, for what you have to manifest what you want. Okay. A small question here that, is it any better that you, you're doing your gratitude, journaling in morning or in the evening, or any, any other time in the day, or it is just that you do it in the mornings- person to person?… preferably we say morning« जब आप पूरा दिन में आप बहुत सारे experiences के through जाते हो तो» sometimes «आप वो gratitude में आने में आपको time लगता है.» Okay. Because आपका brain, बोल रहा होता कि ये हुआ, कैसे, thankful कैसे हो जाऊंगा वो। Okay. Morning में आप fresh होते हो, so आपका subconscious mind… So it's, But if you can't, y- then you can't. Then don't skip- Mm-hmm … it, do it whenever you can. Okay. All right. Most misunderstood thing about holistic healing. I'll talk about Reiki, right? When I started, people thought, "Isne kuch black magic seekh liya hai." Okay. It took me a while even to, uh, my father knew because he introduced, but, uh, other, you know, extended families and friends, even when I got married in this family, it took me a while. Even today, some people like, "Kya karte ho? Kuch magic-vagic karte ho?" Right? Right. Mm-hmm. So I tell them, even when clients come, they have their own questions, and I have to tell them, "Please don't trust me blindly. Google karo, go online and check." Right? Mm-hmm. This is all positive. Isse aap negative kar hi nahi sakte ho. It's all positive energy. Mm-hmm. Now, coming back to holistic, yeah, like you said, for self-love, people think that- Mm-hmm … you know, uske peeche. So some people say ki ye, sab drama hai, you know, kind of thing. Okay. Only unless and until you won't experience it, you won't understand it. True. Okay. A healed person, does that exist? You are a lifelong, lifelong learner, and you'll be healing yourself. Like, I f- I think even a coach needs a coach, even a healer needs a healer. Hmm, of course. Yeah. So yes, nobody is completely healed because life is, life will keep on throwing challenges. Right. Right? The only difference is, as a healer and a coach, now I… it takes me less time to revive from those challenges. okay. If your healing work, or maybe all different, modalities that you use, they were a song, which one it will be? Whatever comes to your mind. Nothing is coming right now. Okay. All right. I'm unstoppable. I love that song. So nobody can stop me- Unstoppable … from, I'm unstoppable. That is my favorite song, so. Okay. Yeah. Okay, something you had to- I, I don't know if it, it'll fit with that, but I just want to mention that's… Yes. Something that you had to unlearn to truly heal. That, I have to please everyone. I have to make, I have to do things to make others happier. I- that's something I had to learn. Okay. And last moment that reminded you why you do what you are doing As I'm, I mentioned earlier, there are two things. One thing is for myself, right? It gives me, satisfaction. It feels fulfilling. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Second thing is for my kids. I want you to build, I want you to do something so that, Uh-huh. Okay. Mm-hmm… tomorrow I don't- I think, I… This is not the question. I think, it went in a wrong way. Okay. I asked last moment, means do you remember any, maybe- Okay … you were working on with some client and they felt good, and because they felt good, because as a coach, I know the h- what that feels that when your client feel, gets a b- breakthrough or, you know, the client feels that, okay, I have got out of something- Okay and you also feel good as a coach. So when was that? So the last such… Okay. Yeah. recently, yes, there was a workshop where, we were doing Ho'oponopono workshop, right? Mm-hmm. That lady came and we were doing the whole process of healing. When after the pro- she cried a lot, and then when after the process I, we had a conversation, she said, her father passed away seven years back, right? Her father called her, like, you know, on phone that, "Come, like, visit me." Mm-hmm. And she told him that, "You know, there's something. I'll come tomorrow." Mm-hmm. She did go next day, but by the time, he passed away. She was carrying that pain, right, for seven years. Okay. And when we did, this whole process, she cried and she said, "I feel after seven years, I'm feeling lighter in my body." Because, having that guilt for seven years- Mm-hmm… was manifesting a lot of She was- Right … she has become overweight and lot of other things she has been facing. Mm-hmm. So I t- I told her, you know, we did, did a small exercise. I said, "Okay, that is released. Now we'll do an exercise where I want you to forgive yourself for not reaching on time." Okay. Because you're not forgiving yourself, right? Mm-hmm. So that was my last such experience, like recent experience. Okay. One thing every women, woman needs to hear right now. Love yourself. Okay. Yeah. All right. That's all. There you go. Like, I think, yes, I, yeah. So it's basically as, as, as I said, like, you have to become selfish to become selfless. Mm. You think that being self- selflessness and serving your family is doing good, but if you are becoming empty inside serving them, then you are going to, you know, explode one day and everything will be, will be gone. So it's better- Mm … to first, you know, fill yourself and then with that full cup, then fill them All right. All right, so someone who is listening, from the Holistic Happiness Club, and, they want to reach out to you for anything, where they can reach out to you, where they can find you? Yes. that's, my Insta handle, I can share, that is Holistic Healings4U. So, I think you can even, Yeah, I'll put that in the- … Akshay, can provide… show notes Yeah. Right. but- So that's where- You, you, you can spell it out so someone who is only listening, they can, clearly, follow Yes, it is H-O-L-I-S-T-I-S… D-I-C, holistic healings, H-E-A-L-I-N-G-S. Mm-hmm. That's with a S, holistic healings, and four means a numerical four. Okay. And U. U means only Alphabet U. Okay. Yes. So that's the best place, Instagram is the best place to reach out to Sumit. Yes. And, with that, we have reached to the end of the conversation, and I hope you have enjoyed this conversation, Sumit, and I think, Amazing I hope our listeners also have enjoyed and, took something out, and, I mean, at least something that can make their day better and that can make their life better. I wanted to thank you, Akshay, for having me here. It's my pleasure. You know, I feel honored, and giving us a platform where, you know, we can talk about these things and we can, serve our society, our community. Mm-hmm. It's a beautiful thing, and I want to congratulate you, for doing this for us. It's not only viewers, but for healers, coaches, and your guests, y- this is also your, you know, giving us a platform to serve. Thank you. It's a beautiful thing. Thank you so much, Akshay, and thank you so much for having me here. It's all my pleasure, and, if somebody can feel a little better, I think, my day is, you know, already made. thank you so much for coming here, and, thank you so much for sharing so many things. And there were so many things, actually, we can pick, one by one and we can try to deep dive and we try and can try to explore them, for those who want to know them better, like, self-love and inner child healing and, some emotional freedom- you said technique, but I would say that it's, it's an umbrella. There are multiple other things, under emotional freedom and gratitude. So yeah, we can pick topics and we can explore them in later episodes. But for now, coming here and, explaining yourself and, walking us, through your journey, your pain points, and how you became a healer, and how every healer also needs a healer. And- Yeah … so all, all those things were very beautiful. I really enjoyed the conversation that we had, and I hope that our listeners also have enjoyed and they learned something, meaningful. Thank you so much. Bye. Before you move on with your day, take a moment to reflect on this conversation because sometimes one small shift in awareness can completely change the way we experience life. Remember, the goal is not just to become successful. The goal is to become whole. Thank you for spending this time with me on Holistic Happiness Club. I'm your host, Akshay Tiwari, and I will see you in the next one. Till that time, stay well and always remember, happiness is a lifestyle.