100% Humboldt
Humboldt County CA USA is the home of some of the most iconoclastic, genuine, and interesting folks in the world.
We are getting curious about the movers, shakers, and difference makers in Humboldt County CA-Home of the giant redwoods, 6 Rivers, and the vast Pacific Ocean.
We will discover what makes people live/evolve in the beautiful, diverse, isolated, and ever-changing Northcoast of California 100%!
Listen in and learn what it is to be 100% Humboldt
Learn More at https://100humboldt.com/
100% Humboldt
#87. Fatherhood's Frontline: Navigating Life with Grit with Pete Ciotti and Scott Hammond
What if the secret to fatherhood isn't found in parenting books but in knowing who you are and what you truly value? Scott Hammond, author of "Everyday Dad," joins Pete Ciotti on The Grit Podcast to explore how intentional parenting transforms both fathers and children.
This candid conversation cuts through parenting platitudes to address the real challenges modern dads face. Between demanding jobs, financial pressures, and technology competing for children's attention, many fathers feel the system is rigged against meaningful family connection. Yet Hammond offers a revolutionary perspective: these challenges can become opportunities for growth when approached with what he calls "maverick grit."
The discussion weaves through powerful insights about breaking generational cycles, speaking life into your children, and finding balance without compromise. Hammond vulnerably shares how he healed an estrangement with one of his children through authentic empathy rather than quick fixes. Pete reflects on discovering that some of his most meaningful connections with his teenage son happen in unexpected moments—like during a round of golf neither had initially prioritized.
Both men challenge the cultural narrative that success means accumulating possessions rather than nurturing relationships. "Show me your schedule or your checkbook," Hammond suggests, "and I'll show you your priorities." This practical wisdom grounds the conversation in actionable steps rather than abstract ideals.
Whether you're a new father figuring out where to start, a seasoned dad navigating the teenage years, or someone simply interested in the intersection of parenting and personal growth, this episode offers both inspiration and practical guidance for the journey.
The conversation closes with a powerful reminder that reverberates beyond parenting: what if your best years aren't behind you, but still ahead? For fathers ready to approach parenting with intentionality, courage, and presence, this possibility isn't just hopeful rhetoric—it's an invitation to transformation.
About 100% Humboldt with Scott Hammond
Humboldt County CA USA is the home of some of the most iconoclastic, genuine, and interesting folks in the world.
We are getting curious about the movers, shakers, and difference makers in Humboldt County CA-Home of the giant redwoods, 6 Rivers, and the vast Pacific Ocean.
We will discover what makes people live/evolve in the beautiful, diverse, isolated, and ever-changing North Coast of California 100%!
Listen in and learn what it is to be 100% Humboldt!
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Everybody thanks for tuning into the Grit Podcast. I really appreciate all the support and the love and the feedback and we've been having a good time here just chatting about all things, all things perseverance, all things grit, all things life, and today's conversation is going to be all those things and more. I have my good buddy, scott Hammond, with me. How you doing, scott, doing awesome.
Speaker 2:Thanks for having me, Pete. Yes, sir, Appreciate you. You doing Scott Doing awesome. Thanks for having me. Pete, yes, sir, appreciate you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, scott and I both go to Catalyst Church awesome church in Arcata but the month of July it is going to be outdoors in Parago Park. We kind of had to pivot that this Sunday because there was something else in Parago. It got double booked. That was good though. So we're in the outfield of the softball field having church Church outside man Way to be, I love it.
Speaker 2:I call it Woodstock.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, yeah, it's cool, kind of had a vibe like that. That's fun. But yeah, man, we've had a lot of conversation over the last year and particularly you gifted me this awesome book called Everyday Dad that you are the author of.
Speaker 2:Oh, you have a copy of that awesome book called everyday dad that you were the author of.
Speaker 1:Oh, you have a copy of that. I have a copy. That's a pretty good book.
Speaker 2:Yeah, really good book. Um writer's kind of sketchy, the book's pretty good.
Speaker 1:And, uh, you know, just like that's where I want to go today, just talking about fatherhood, it's just such a. I mean you talk about grit, uh, and that's what this podcast is about. Um, I don't think it gets any grittier than being in the trenches as a parent, with all the things you go through with your kids, and you are a father of nine Nine.
Speaker 2:You and Joni, just Joni, and I Wow, everybody goes. Are they all yours?
Speaker 1:I go yeah, yeah, yeah, pretty sure that's amazing. Years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah, pretty sure that's amazing. Um, so I, you know, I I've been skimming through the book that you gave me a few months back, you know, because you gave it to me as a gift because I just had my fourth child. Um, congrats. Yes, awesome, we're loving every day and um beautiful baby.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so you know, I have one child who just graduated high school, who's about to be turn 18, and then a 14 year old, and there's my two boys and an 11 year old daughter and now a five month old baby. So kind of a reset for us, nice. But we're stoked and we're really happy with that, and so I've been. I've been reading through the book and I kind of highlighted a couple of things and I wanted to just like ask you some questions about it. Sure, it's just, this book is really cool.
Speaker 1:Like really lays out a really good plan. Uh, I can tell it's very, it's very plan oriented. Um, you know, and and sometimes when in fatherhood a lot of stuff happens, while we're busy making plans on the fly, we get thrown curve balls all the time with kids, and so adapting to that is just. You know, what would you say to those new fathers out there that are just kind of trying to figure it out, like, where do you start? Where do you start? You want to be the best dad you can be, but man, it's, it can be really challenging.
Speaker 2:You got to know? I think the answer to that is you got to know who you are and what you want. So if you can answer the questions who are you and what do you want? The answers are that easy. The questions are the hard part.
Speaker 2:You know, if you got to struggle with, hey, I don't, I don't really care about my kids or my family, and then I guess, own that if that's your value system. But I want to start. I'll answer that question. I want to start with how I got to the book. I started blogging called Become a Better Father, and I had all these like 400 blog entries that were, some of which are better than others, and then somebody at BNI, in our network business group, said hey, I can help you pull that up, pull that down, and maybe we could organize it into a book. What do you say? And I go well, they tell me in the speaking business that your book is your business card. So why wouldn't I do that? So, hey, I'm going to become the dad speaker. And little did I know that. We're remote Humboldt County, california, up on the coast on the Redwood Curtain, and it's hard as heck to get out of here and go speak in, uh yeah, tuscaloosa oh yeah, or nashua, and you did and I didn't.
Speaker 2:You didn't because my kids would rot on the. So it was, it was a. Um, it was a, it was a, it was a miscalculation to go, oh, let me see. Oh, that that dog don't hunt, because I'd have to be away from home, away, and giving all that responsibility to my wife, which she would do great with, but I'm not, it'd be disingenuous. It's not alignment and goals. So I went other paths and took other passions, but this stuff's always close to my heart and I wrote this based on a lot of stuff you've read and background business practice which breaks down at home. By the way, you're not the boss at home. You're not the boss, honey. You can't try to manage your wife like you manage your employee Not going to work. That's a bad, bad start.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:What would I tell a young dad? Intentionality Go away and go figure out who you are and what you want to be, and if you have a vision for that, then you can set up a plan.
Speaker 2:And I think all plans are based on schedules. Show me your schedule or your checkbook and I'll show you where your value system, your priorities, totally. You know that it's like what are you spending your money on? What are you spending your time on and your treasure? And I think the hard connection is what if I don't care that much, yeah, about my family or my wife or my kids?
Speaker 1:yeah who.
Speaker 2:Who am I? Then I think you have an existential different problem, right, and so we could talk about that too. But that's, I would say, just intentionality.
Speaker 1:Know who you are and do an inventory of of what's what's important in life, but I'm also always humbled to learning new ideas and I don't think I have it all figured out. But one thing, just to touch on what you just said, is like taking that time, that personal time, and carving it out of a schedule to be better so that you can be better for your family, is so important. I've talked about that many times on the podcast that some people view that as a selfish act. I think it's completely the opposite. I think it's so important that you carve out some personal time to get your mind right, maybe to get your body right to be healthy, so that you can come back and give your kids all the energy that they deserve, because all the kids really want from you is your time. They just want your presence in that moment.
Speaker 1:I heard it said that you know kids from the age of zero to four that's the most crucial time in their life to be involved in their life and so when I had my first kid Peter he's the fifth, I'm the fourth, my dad's the third Peter, he's the fifth, I'm the fourth, my dad's the third. So when Peter was born, I had just started a new business that demanded 60 plus hours a week of my time, just to keep it going. And I was a young dad I was 29, 30 with a young wife who's 22. We were just trying to figure it out. We were renting a small uh house and, um, all the stuff. I will remember, though, when he came into the world, that I it was a pivotal moment, of course, like it is for all dads. When he was born, I almost passed out from just from the like.
Speaker 1:Anxiety is probably not the best way to describe it, but just the like, maybe a little bit of fear of the unknown, like what's gonna come up next. Now I'm responsible for this human being. Like it's no more. Just, I was living my life for me and maybe my, my, my wife, but other than that, it was like, you know, I wasn't really living for anyone else. I wasn't really. Now it's going forward. It's going to be all about my contribution to my kids and giving myself to my kids and what I really say. Stuff like would you die for your kids? Yeah, I would absolutely die for my kids. Would you get healthy for your kids? Would you work hard for your kids? Would you grind it out for your kids? Would you give them your time and patience, and so what I learned is just like being able to carve out that time so I could be better, so I could be more focus driven, so I could keep my energy at a high level all throughout the day was super important, so I carved that time out while they slept.
Speaker 2:5 am Pretty smart, you know, and like come back.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and just like feel great, like I did today. I got up at five, ran, worked out, did my thing, did a bunch of errands, had a meeting, come here and do the podcast with you and then I'll go home. Uh, this is my Monday. Go home at noon and just spend my time with the baby and give my wife a break. You know which I think is crucial to in a marriage Check a lot of boxes.
Speaker 2:But, man, we got to get better for them. You know I got a couple of thoughts on that. Yeah, please, going back to your love is spelled T-I-M-E. That's a good one. But I'd say focus time, yeah, but sometime better than no time. We used to take our kids to the recycling and go to grocery outlet. Yeah, I just include them in my world Absolutely, as opposed to I wasn't the greatest Lego dad in the world and you know, add, I got to sit down and focus and you know I would read and.
Speaker 2:But there's other things where I included them in our Sunday morning date. We'd go to Los Bagels in Arcata Okay, Get a bagel, and I'd take two kids out of 17 kids and I'd grab two and we'd go have a bagel and it was great. And so that was intentionality. That was in a schedule. It's not on a calendar, bro, it don't exist, it's not even real.
Speaker 2:And so the other thought you struck with me is that what I would tell a young dad is that you're so track and right, find that which gives you life, whether it's running or swimming or yoga or something.
Speaker 2:You know, golf's kind of tough because that's a big time eater. So you got to be realistic and get yourself healed, get yourself whole so you can be there for other people and then do it with intentionality. However, it all works against you because, especially now you're grinding you have to grind every day to feed the beast, to feed mouths, to feed the money beast bank and to pay bills, and so there's that piece, and then there's you know, home and taking care. I mean there's a lot of priorities here that could quickly add to a burnout state, which is, I know that state, I know the capital of that state, I've been there, I have the t-shirt, and so there's a lot of work that one needs to do to maybe I want to say compromise, because it's a good enough word, and that is you're not going to go out and be perfect marathoner, perfect dad, perfectly rich, because you're so brilliant in business, but you work with what you've got. Yeah, and I think it's okay. I just read that Sometimes you just start with what you have, bro.
Speaker 1:Do you think because I know you wrote this book, you know, 14 years ago and here we are in 2025. And I see a lot of dads entrepreneurial dads too, in business that have been talking to like, do you think that it's possible that this whole system is rigged against us from the beginning and that you know, like we were always ingrained, that we have to work a 40 hour a week job, we have to spend our time, our boss is our priority and our job is our priority, and then then our family's tied with that, but it's like you know one in one a, and then then our family's tied with that, but it's like you know one and one a, and then you know, like, on down, and then our time, and then the furthest thing down from the road is our time to ourselves to get better and to do these things right, and so, like people have that's kind of like the model that they work with and the schedule they work with. So it's like sometimes, uh, time, patience is hard to find, and that time in the moment is hard to find because, obviously, if you're working a 40 hour a week job, you know grinding away like you were told to do. That's the American dream or whatever, and you're paying a really high mortgage and you've got all these bills stacked up against you and are you really gaining anything? Are you really building anything there?
Speaker 1:There's a lot of questions to be asked about that, but eventually you kind of look at it and go is this system rigged from the beginning and so that as a dad, I'm not able to spend that zero to four years old time?
Speaker 1:You know, like really be in it and spend time and build something with my child, because I have to work so hard just to afford to take care of my child. And it's like I see a lot of dads that are just having to grind out these jobs, work for peanuts, you know, just so they can provide health care and so they can put food on the table. And it's paycheck to paycheck a lot of the time, especially in areas like Humboldt, tumble and uh, where do they find the time to, to, to sit and do legos? And also, as your kids get older and they get tech devices like phones, ipads, that's what raises them, or someone else raises them in child care, it's not you. And now you're trying to pull them out of that sort of like system. You know, and that's a, that's a challenge that's a yeah a lot of dads didn't face in the 80s, 90s, whatever.
Speaker 1:Now they're like fighting for the attention of the screens and this, and so it's a challenging time for a lot of dads and moms too. But we're we're focused on fatherhood today and it's just like really tough to put value, to put your values into the kids and really teach them something. That's the real struggle, and I've just found that maybe it's possible. The system is rigged against us from the beginning and we have to kind of be they. Take that entrepreneurial spirit and that spirit of authenticity and create and being creative and find new ways to build wealth, while also, you know, spending that important time with our children every day and being present, you know, yeah.
Speaker 2:I think it's a yes, and I think you can do both. Is it rigged? Sure, but no, yes and no, it's tougher. But if you have grit, like you're talking about, hey, bring on the challenge, let's figure it out. If you have grit, like you're talking about, hey, bring on the challenge, let's figure it out, and I think, okay. So screens are a problem, but I could also leverage the screen to go hey, buddy, what are you doing today? It's me dad, and connect like all the time, and I'll overdo it. I don't care, I'm just a connection, because if that's the game we're playing, then let's utilize the tools. So there's that I think it comes back to. I want to get a better word than compromise, but it's like I don't think I need to be rich in money. Could have had nine homes chose nine kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Sometimes I wonder about my choices, but not really. I know who I am and know what I want. And now I'm seeing the glorious piece of having adult children, children, adult um um, offspring, friends that are amazing, oh cool. You know we're gonna have a beer in Belgium in a couple of weeks.
Speaker 1:It's going to be amazing.
Speaker 2:Hey, what's up? We're gonna have a great time and and so, um, that connection with these people and then their kids, and so what? I it's failed to thrive in terms of seeing the big picture your baby is going to be asking for the car keys within a few short years. That are going to seem like months, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because you've already seen it with Pete the 5th.
Speaker 1:Yeah, peter, the 5th yeah.
Speaker 2:And so you know how time goes by.
Speaker 1:And it's like so fast.
Speaker 2:I don't know how. To you know, my dad tried to communicate that, scott. You know, it's like, it's like it's going to be Christmas and he goes I'm 75. I'm going to be 85 within a couple of days. It's like, it's like that kind of timeframe, and so I think when you make those choices, it's like so am I going to become the workaholic dad of the fifties and sixties, like my parents?
Speaker 2:and grandparents were. And how did that work? Cause I went up on the street as a feral hippie child in san diego partying at 12, 11, 12 years old yeah so I didn't. I mean I got blessed because god pulled me out of that and changed my life and met jesus, met joni, met sobriety picture yeah, and met a degree at humboldt, so I was able to escape that world.
Speaker 2:But um, back to what you're asking and inferring in that is, can I compromise a little and maybe be smarter at work, be smarter with the smart devices and make connection and double up and leverage efficiencies? That's what I'm trying to get at. So hey, dad's going to the store, can I go? No, I got to go alone. Well, no, you don't. Yeah, everybody get in.
Speaker 1:We're going to give mom a break. I think that's so cool. You say that because that's literally how I've been like approaching it over the last few weeks, um, especially with my adult, my I call him my adult son. He's basically about to be an adult. Um, I just, you say, compromise was I look at it like, uh, meeting them where they're at. A lot of times I have to meet my kids where they're at. If they're in a place you know, then okay, I'll go there and it might be uncomfortable for me, it might be something I really enjoy, I really like. It might not be as comfortable for me, but I'll go there and reach that uncomfortableness just so I can make the connection. And, like I, my son is. This is an example example.
Speaker 1:My older son has been really into golf lately. He's been golfing like every day. He'll go, he'll go to bow every day at four o'clock and golf, golf, golf, golf. So we had a. I got a set of clubs laying. I used to golf when I was younger, a lot and uh, but I hadn't golfed in a long time and I had a set of clubs sitting around in the garage somewhere. I hauled them out, gave them to him and he even takes his friends who don't have clubs and they just all play on one set.
Speaker 1:But he's been asking me to go with him and go with him. I'm getting good, dad, I want to go. I'm like, yeah, okay, cool, I mean, how am I going to say no to that? Like I just scratch out the time and go with him. And this last time I played with him and he's going to see this and be like, don't talk about it. But, um, the last time I played with him it was cool. He might not even recognize this, but we, we sat, we this was just this weekend we played golf and we just talked like we were two adults and it was. I think it was the first time ever that we had just sat there in the present moment with each other and played or did what we were doing, played around a golf and just talked about what's going on in your life.
Speaker 1:And I just listened and I got a lot out of it because he really opened up and he doesn't open up a lot and it was really cool to hear him open up about his future. Like I'm, I can't wait to go to CR, to college, I can't wait to work on my fire degree. Uh, I got my new friends that are also going to do that. Uh, you know, I can't wait to go to Japan. He's we're going to Japan in November and he's like super excited and he's telling me all about it and I'm like I'm like I'm just there for the ride. You tell me where we're going, bud, and he's like, doing all this research, we're going's coming up. It's like I heard it said like what's the best thing about having kids watching them grow up? What's the worst thing about having kids watching them grow up? That hits hard. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Cause it's so fast. Like you said, it's so fast and I just want to make sure that I'm I'm a ripple in the wave for them and I don't want to influence them. I don't want to control how they're going to live. I don't want to set them up for, like, all these scary things. I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to. I just want them to know that, like you know, we're here, beautiful, we're supportive. You know, I would really love it if they would come around to faith a little bit more, if they would come around to faith a little bit more. But I keep trying. You know I'm like, hey, we're going to church today.
Speaker 2:Just model it man.
Speaker 1:A lot of dads will just say, oh, they said no like a couple of times so I'm not going to ask anymore. But I ask every Sunday and hope that maybe one of these Sundays they'll come through you know you choose yeah.
Speaker 2:My daughter comes all the time but yeah, the book, because I highlighted a few things that I really thought were cool. Before you do, I have two thoughts Go for it. Number one is what you're saying is really beautiful. You caught the moment with Pete. The magic moment is when they come and they're ready to share their heart, their thoughts, their dreams, their hopes. The tough part and the challenge part for us in the grit part is I used to get that at like 1030 at night, my son would roll in and I'm like all burnt out and ready for bed and he's going hey, dad, or hey, you know he gets mad if something's up. So you got to really look for those moments and show up and then do what I'm going to call the magic, and that is what you just talked about. You listened, you empathized. Uh-huh, you didn't try to fix, this was just a connection point. Well, how does that feel? Going to see our College of the.
Speaker 2:Redwoods. It's going to be cool, huh, how do you feel about that? And to learn that skill set of affirming and empathizing and really showing up and being in there and go. You know how do I support and help you in that, peter? And really showing up and being in there and go. You know how do I support and help you in that, peter? What can I do? And it's funny, it's not funny, it's sad. At 65, I'm just learning that stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, a friend in a Bible study in Zoom Friday said God, why didn't I get all this stuff when I was younger and I had kids and I could? And it's like, okay, well, maybe that's a good question. That's not the right question. The question is what are you going to do with it today in practice, where you could sit with somebody and let them cry and not fix them, and not, you know, joni, my wife goes don't fix me, man, just listen to me. Yeah, come on, she'll go. Come on, man, yeah, I go. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, you're right. How do I support, how do I help? And empathy is so important and it must suck really feeling that what can we do together? Is there anything I can do? And so I really like that. That's the magic moments that we play for, and you think, hey, there's going to be daily. Every time I go to bagels, we're going to get a deep conversation. Nope, nope when they're ready.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's what we got to be showing up and we have to be sharp for that, because if we're tired or like stressed out, or we're holding onto so much stress, then when that moment comes, well, it'll fleet, it'll be fleeting and you won't recognize it. I'm too tired to go play golf, pete, today.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's such a BS response. My wife hit me with that. She's like what are you talking about? You're too tired? Go play golf with him. Okay, cool, honey, see, ya, you know, like. But it's like yeah, don't be too tired, don't ever. That's a, that's a BS excuse and I won't use it anymore. I don't. Even if I am literally tired, I'm like no, like I'm going to have time to play catch with my kid. I'm going to have time to play dress up with my daughter or whatever she wants to do. I'm going to have time for that. It's not going to be weird, we're just going to do it and it's going to be great.
Speaker 2:Like Joni says, whenever you go for that run or that hike or that golf or that church, you show up. It turns out it was great, what would you have missed? And you felt, okay, yeah, it was a good run. You didn't want to run, but you went for it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like living mindfulness is what I call it Like. It's like active mindfulness, it's like just implementing simple mindfulness into your everyday, you know, and just taking a pause. Sometimes you have to literally pause before you respond to things, because sometimes our first response is not the best response, true, true, and because we're holding on to maybe some stress or in the moment where we're emotional and when you can finally put in that work on yourself and regulate those emotions and regulate those kinds of reactions, sleep on it, pray on it. Yeah, I just don't find myself getting too worked up these days because it takes so much to work my motor up and get mad at something and then I forget what I was even mad at and I'm like, really that was all worth getting my heart rate going and all this stuff, and it's not.
Speaker 1:It's not so, um, okay. So I wanted to dive into this couple of things. I was reading the books. I'm like I'm about almost halfway through the book right now. Some stuff is stuck out. This is this one, and you have to remember if you haven't gone over the book in a minute with anyone. But there's a part here that says how can we make hardship and difficulty blessings in disguise Good stuff? Right? What do we do to create a turning point in our attitude and, with new eyes, see how hardship can truly be a good thing for our lives? Wow, Can you leverage your problems into life opportunities? And so you have a list of things here and I wanted to say that, like what we talk about on this podcast all the time is grit and doing hard things, and there's never going to be a perfect fatherhood, there's never going to be a perfect dad, there's never going to be a perfect parent.
Speaker 1:You know like we're imperfect humans, naturally, that's how God has made us and we're going to go through some really difficult, hard steps and we're not going to have the answers. It's going to be heartbreaking, but you lay this out and I think this is beautiful. It starts with the following courage. I love that. We need courageousness, boldness and fearlessness in our approach to life. I just listened to a podcast by the great Ed Milet, who I love, and he talked about being an encourager and what that meant and what I really dug about it. And it's just so simple. But it's like to be an encourager is actually to put courage into somebody. That's what it is and so it's it's.
Speaker 1:We as parents often will discourage, and we're maybe we're doing it to for security. We're trying to keep people safe. There's a fear. You know that some things can happen, so we we oftentimes, even when they're really little we'll just discourage them in the subtlest of ways, just to be like don't do that, don't do that. But we almost yell it and we get kind of stressed out about it. Instead it's like, don't? I always? My uh psychology teacher in college 30 years ago said something like to the effect of like, don't give a no no without a do do, and what he meant was like, don't tell your kids no, no, don't do that without giving them something else to do. A redirection, that's good and it's so important in like, or maybe a why, yeah, or why, and so, when it gets down to the why and the encouragement level, it's like I said this before speak life into your kids. Speak life into them every single day. Right, you, just, you know, encourage the kids and you know we, we, a lot of.
Speaker 1:I've seen a lot of people talk about today, all these kids today. They're growing up on iPads and they're they think the world should be handed to them at 20 years old and they complain oh they, I had to work so hard for everything I got and there's some truth to all that. That's great. But like, what are you doing're going to look silly, you're going to be embarrassed, you're going to be shamed. All this guilt, all this stress that these older folks are carrying and can't let go of, it could be trauma, it could be all these things and they're just throwing it on their kids or throwing it on the youth. And you know, these people are like where's this American dream you spoke of in the 60s, where's all these things? You know, I'm ready to go to work, I'm ready to grind, I'm ready to work hard on something I'm passionate about, which you also lay out in the book. You kind of level out passion and all those things. So I just want to go through the courage thing, so courage. I just want to go through the courage thing, so courage.
Speaker 1:We need courageness, boldness and fearlessness in the approach to life. Positive attitude Huge. We need to receive life's lessons with an attitude of love. Humility A lot of humility is lost sometimes People just think they know it all right and meekness, knowing that we are loved so important to know that we're worthy and we're loved. Remember that what comes our way, provided we respond correctly, can be a blessing in disguise, no matter how difficult. Ooh.
Speaker 2:I wrote that. You wrote that. That was really good. So I want to comment on a couple things real quick. You triggered all these thoughts. One is the power of your words, when spoken with authenticity, have the power to change people and change you, in fact, because your confession we all know that our confession is the stuff we speak is power. It's life or death. So I'm going to tell you what not to speak, son, you're a real disappointment. Right, oh shit, you're going to say that to your kid Because that's going to sit there and burn him for the rest of his life. Not, hey, this was disappointing. This situation, that's different. Or, hey, girl, you look pretty fat in that dress. Now, what's wrong with you, pappy? Yeah, what are you talking crazy like that for to your kids? Stop doing that immediately. Yes, and start. No, but here comes the do Right, and start being a man of encouragement. Yeah, and speak life and go. Hey, you know what You're doing. Great man, I love your attitude, I love where you're going with this and just be willing to be encouraging.
Speaker 1:And you think to get there they've got to drop whatever they're holding onto, because a lot of those words that they're saying, like that negative stuff they're talking, it's because they're holding onto shit. It's death For so long and we talked about this on your podcast last time you interviewed me. It's like people just don't forgive the trauma, they don't work through it and energy is blocked for forever. For so long they're just holding on, holding on. Once they kind of like do that work and release, um, that trauma work. They open up and then they can be encouragers, you know, but like, yeah, it's so hard to have forgiveness, yeah and and we know we're I'm not a good forgiver, but I know where to get.
Speaker 2:I know the guy that invented forgiveness, yeah Right, and if I'm spending time there in that headspace, you know. So let's go here, faith piece, and we'll start with hey, fatherhood's not a solo sport. You got a lot of support. It's not. Hey, it's me against the world. I'm going to fight for my kids and have a job and have an amazing marriage and be that guy. Well, super dad, guess what? You ain't. That, ain't real. That's like women wanting to be young in their 80s and having their whole thing be about beauty.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:External beauty. Yeah, that's the lie. And the lie is that you're super dad and you're going to be amazing. Well, we all know that you're not amazing and you're broken. And when you could get in touch with that brokenness, that trauma that you're talking about, and work through that and get into a conduit of connection with the Almighty and with other people Connection with the Almighty and with other people, other dads, with your wife, with your support group, with your community, with your parents, maybe, maybe you need to heal with your parents. You could be a better parent. Have we brought that one up? You know, why don't you call your old man today?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Why don't you tell him you're sorry for your part? You know, pick up the damn phone. You're an adult, grown ass man. Go make this stuff right, bro, because that's your blockage, that's your constipation, that's what's effing you up. Because you messed up my life, I'm going to mess up generations if I don't deal with this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we got to stop that generational curse that exists. I talk about this a lot. It's like I think a lot of you know I'm I'm a code breaker. I know that. I know that one. I'm an empath, that I feel empathy. I feel people when they're going through stuff. I just feel it on a real level, like I can feel it in my heart. It kind of affects me a lot, a lot. I'm real sensitive. That's how you were, and I finally recognized that this much later in my life. I didn't know what that was when I was in my 20s and 30s.
Speaker 2:Like, why do?
Speaker 1:I feel so sensitive to someone else's pain. But I realized that there's a thing called being an empath when I learned that Two-edged sword right, yeah, oh yeah it is. That's both ways. Yeah, it can be very, very difficult thing to deal with, um, but I started recognizing that and then I just started recognizing, like um, I'm a code breaker, that I think my purpose, by given to me by by God, really, when I, when I tapped into my faith and I really work on my faith we've talked about the five F's and I work on my faith every day I start to realize that I'm supposed to break the code for the Seattle dinner, the Seattle generation sector that are coming up and I'm supposed to be, I'm going to, supposed to. There's a lot I learned from my ancestors, of course, but I think there were care.
Speaker 1:We all carry the DNA of our ancestors and we also carry that in. That DNA is the trauma and I feel like it's my job. My purpose is to stop the negative stuff and start to let the light come in a little bit more and really lead my kids and their kids and all the kids that I see before I pass on, to a better spot than um, than I found it and you know. As far as health, uh, you know, no offense to my, my parents or my dad or my grandparents, but there's been a pretty long list of just like a little bit of unhealthiness and mindset not as, not as good and not as healthy, and and and I just want to be healthier. I don't want my kids to be healthier, yeah, and I love them, but I want it to go in this direction and I want to be more, you know, more positive for them.
Speaker 1:So break the code, dude. Positive attitude important. Then we have consistency. We need to be constant, consistent and committed to God, family and being overcomers. Much rides on us. We have no room for whining weakness or being given over to failure. We need to have a warrior mentality that truly puts others before ourselves and understands all that is riding on our success. Now I just want to play a little bit advocate on this one, like I. I agree with it a lot, but there's also those dads out there that carry so much and never talk about it.
Speaker 1:They, we, they, just, they, just, they smile you know, and in the face of real tough darkness, I do, and I'm fine, I'm doing fine, right, I'm fine. They're depressed, uh, their anxiety is just over overwhelming, but they're not going to show it you you mentioned, and then when they do talk about it, it's sort of taboo for them. Or, like you know, somebody says maybe you should see somebody, and they're like oh, I would never do that.
Speaker 1:Therapy is that's just getting up. Yeah, no way. You know, I'm strong. And like there's, there's something to be said, there's a duality there, because it obviously you gotta be a warrior, you gotta fight the fight like hell, and that's that's the job as a dad. That's right. The job is to fight like hell for your kids and go through hell with your kids. And, by the way, if you ever want to be in heaven, you're going to go through hell. That's just how it is for all human beings.
Speaker 1:But you're on earth. Yeah, you're going to know it, you recognize it. You're going to have to deal with uncomfortability. You're going to have to deal with people that just want to shit on everything you're trying to do. And there's physically, the physically, people are going to come after you. You're going to get beaten down and and while I think it's great to say be a warrior and you should be, you also have to recognize that there's a lot of people just carry it and don't say a thing about it and they're going to take it to their graves and it's really mentally just ruining them as that.
Speaker 1:It's sad, it's a heartbreak. I see it all the time, man, they're just depressed. Yeah, you know, when they're alone, when they're alone time, instead of like working on bettering themselves, they're just drinking.
Speaker 2:Self-soothing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, doing what they can to like self-soothe, yeah, and it's terrible to watch them decline, you know.
Speaker 2:It's interesting. So you're pointing out the fact that, well, I'm pointing out in my brilliant book that the warrior mentality is really key. It's you're a leader, you're a warrior, you're the front guy for your family, pete, you just are. I mean, I'm not even gender valuing anything, it's just, it's true. And many women are the dad and mom too. So all you gals out there that are amazing dads, you're amazing and you're leaders and you're warriors, and it's important to have that duality, to have that also, that broken, tender side that is able to go. You know what I have needs here? We just found that in my family I have needs and I'm broken and I can't carry on like this for a lot longer. I don't know what might happen, and there's plenty to happen Porn, drugs, drinking another person I mean, men have a lot of choices. Those things are amplified today more than ever.
Speaker 2:I mean, they're so amplified to consumers, Come over here, you know the siren song of try this, scotty boy, this is going to be, you'll feel better. Yeah, and the funny thing is you feel better for a minute. Yeah that's dopamine, and that's dopamine. And then you discover, oh, the curtains are pulled back and I'm really in hell. Yeah, some form of hell, oh it's real Of addiction or of broken relationships.
Speaker 2:So I don't want to go down that road. But I think how do we as friends, encourage each other to go, look you in the eye and go? How's it really going, bro? And how do we get you know? Vulnerability creates intimacy, and if we can't get intimate on a basic level not a sexual level, but the real meaning of intimacy, I know what you're saying, yeah. How will you ever have your needs met?
Speaker 2:How could you ever ask for? You know, I just need some dude time. I want to go bowling, yeah. I want to go running. I want to go kayaking on big lagoon. I want to go do some. I just need some time off the ride, and I have. I have a family member who doesn't. He doesn't allow a little bit of that mountain biking, but it's. It's really hard for him to give self-permission and to ask for what he might need because he's too busy fixing everybody else. And then one day you wake up and you go oh man, I'm harmed.
Speaker 2:Yeah that's tough. By trying to do good, I've harmed myself because I don't want to bother anybody. Yeah, and I would say bother anybody please. Right, those of you that are, and some people aren't just in touch at all. It's like I don't know how to. I mean, if you're not self-aware enough to do the work, I'm not sure you know.
Speaker 2:usually it takes some sort of trauma, a death, a health thing, a financial crisis, a death, a health thing a financial crisis, a divorce, a something, a cancer, yeah, and it's funny how those things can really kill you, make you better or bitter.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, that will lead to this too Paradigm transformation. We need to see hardship through new eyes of opportunity for growth. Can we see challenges as opportunities for lifelong growth? And I think and, like I said, a lot of people they'll go through some challenges and they'll just immediately try to hide or get out of the way or fix temporarily, fix something quick.
Speaker 1:So they don't have to feel that pain. That's me. You know what I mean. That's a lot of people. Yeah, you know they go through something hard or challenging. They don't have the answer right away because we want to live in this sort of like convenient society where we want a quick fix and you know that, move on to the next one. But challenges aren't always like that, hardships aren't always like that. They take a lot of time and patience to understand, to heal and then and what's really great is the other side of it is growth, like you said. Um, yeah, they are really. If you can really change your look, your outlook on it to challenges or an opportunity for growth, it's a huge paradigm transformation, like you said. I mean, like I mean, I'll give you an example Um, people started saying, oh, you should try doing some cold plunge and cold plunge is a new thing.
Speaker 1:It's so great I did it. It sucked. It's so horrible man, why would anybody is a new thing. It's so great I did it and it sucked. It was so horrible man, why would anybody sit in cold waters? It's freezing, it sucks. My whole body wants this fight or flight. You know, like I was like this is dumb, but then I was like well, I do it tomorrow, and I did it again, and I did it again I did a week and still sucked every day.
Speaker 1:But I was like you got to embrace the suck. There's something I'm going to get out of this and it might not. You might not get that something immediately, you know it might take a second. But now I look back and that was a year ago that I did an, you know, a 90 day every day, cold punch challenge, five minutes in the cold. Right Now I look back and I go that that like put it carved out a toughness groove in my brain because what it did is it like. It created a mindset that like I can do hard things right. And then I start, I run and I go.
Speaker 1:Distances I always thought were talent, that would. That would just literally my mind was like impossible, you're never going to run a marathon, you're never going to run an ultra, you're never going to do this, you're never going to go out to the trinities and run. You're never gonna do all these things. And and I'm like okay, but that's just the metaphor Like what else can I do in my life that I always told myself I could? And then I start to create this philosophy.
Speaker 1:That's like all right, dude, you're three years to 50, 47 years old, is it and you have four children, you have amazing wife and you've had all these experiences and all these moments of the last 40-some years. Is it possible that the best years of your life could still be ahead of you? Sure, no, couldn't be right, because you've done all these amazing things, you've seen all these sunsets and you've been to all these places and you've experienced love on the most profound level. Right, you hit the peak, you hit the mountaintop, you're good, like everything else is downhill right. First I was like I want to believe that that's true. I want to believe that it's true the best years could be ahead of me.
Speaker 1:Right and then so I started again, started speaking life into it every day and I started literally as I was praying or in my meditation every day, that I tried to do every day, that I try to do. It became a practice where I started to say it's possible that these best years could be ahead of you. And then I started to see them happen, one by one. I look back after the last two years and when I started this philosophy and I'm like man, it was pretty incredible. I mean it's I don't think it's as incredible as watching my first kid be born, but it was pretty incredible to cross that finish line at my first ultra marathon and how I felt and what it did and changed in me and my brain and I started to see so much more positivity and and I have something to wake up for every morning I get up at 5.00 AM.
Speaker 1:I, I, I get up with not tired or grog, I get up with like purpose just to move the needle just a little bit more every day and then watch how that grows over time, even just like a year or two, and he's just like dang man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 1:They were right.
Speaker 2:You said consistency and showing up, yeah, consistency. I think it's just being gritty and dogmatic in the sense of that you're showing up.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I love the joy and I heard gratitude in there, big time, big thankful heart.
Speaker 1:Which leads me to this other thing. I highlighted in your book Please Six chapters deep the need for a balanced life. Right, if you don't think balance in your home and personal life is vitally important to your happiness, success and health, consider this. There is a considerable evidence showing that mishandled stress, like we talked about at home, interferes with work performance, and mishandled job pressure creates and magnifies problems at home. Research shows that the quality of your personal relationship strongly influences job productivity, disease resistance and longevity. Conversely, people who value power, prestige, money over family and friendships appear to have a harder time fighting off disease and sickness. That's heavy because there is-.
Speaker 1:Again. I wrote that. You wrote that Weird, and that's in 2011. Look at today, in 2025, there's been so many scientific studies that show that being present with your family, valuing your friendships, valuing these things like you said earlier these are the richnesses of life and those things keep you healthy and those keep you in the long game for longevity. They've done studies in the blue zones, for example.
Speaker 1:These centenarians and super centenarians, people that are a hundred and over I think you're a super centenarian if super centenarians, people that are 100 and over I think you're a super centenarian if you're over 110, which there are a lot of more 110-year-olds than you'd think today. What they find is one of the biggest things that leads to their longevity isn't so much what they ate or drank although there's some evidence of that but really it's about their social connections, their connections with their family. Yeah, their constant connections with their friends. Like they have friend groups that have lasted 50, 60, 70 years. They have their family. That's lasted their whole life. They're still connected Mm-hmm, and they still reach for that connection. And I'm not talking about on Facebook or social media or phone. I'm talking about one-on-one Community media, talking about one-on-one visceral stuff. This, this really stuff that they can hold onto. And there's the networking is huge. Um, obviously there's exercise. That plays a big part of it too. But like, but they'd even do that with their friends and family always, you know, they're always conversing and talking.
Speaker 1:Double bonus. Just amazing, yeah. And like it's so true, like it's not about the yachts and the boats and the cars and the houses and the stupid mortgage that never really amounts to any kind of equity.
Speaker 1:Really, it's not that system want to go to instead of surrounding ourselves with these toxic, negative people that are trying to keep the rules in place and say, oh, you can't go past this point. Or make it about money, yeah, you should always have this job. Oh, you should be working harder so you can provide for family, or you should have this crazy mortgage or this crazy car payment because it's the right thing to do and it's like Get the jag like me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man I mean, I'll walk for a while I'll eat the cheaper food or whatever I'll like, pay less, I'll use less electricity or I don't know whatever, but like I'd rather the money I make be spent on real experiences that I can take with me post my death.
Speaker 2:I have a new word for you? Yeah, maverick grit, maverick grit, maverick grit. So maverick grit is this it's being a badass and entrepreneurial and smart and bucking the very thing you're talking about. The system, the system which is could be anything. It could be peer pressure. As a dude, it could be.
Speaker 2:Well, we drink man, we drink beers Well, I don't. Okay, cool, hey, well, we chase women. Well, I don't. I have a wife for life. She's amazing. Well, you know, we're not ever having kids. Well, I have 17 kids. It's amazing. So, when we buck all that stuff for the right reasons, not arrogantly, but just knowing who we are and whose we are is even more important, as you know, I think it's going to take that maverick spirit, entrepreneurial spirit, to figure it out, to go. I'm not going to go with the flow and be caught in the winds of change and you know now it's divisiveness and political and it's weird, and I'm going to jump into all that and become, you know, way above my pay grade out of my lane. I can't fix America, are you kidding me? Yeah, but I can have a relationship with you, we can be friends, we can impact each other.
Speaker 2:So, I love that community. The other thing is balance. Living a balanced life is kind of a misnomer. I don't want a 50-50 home and work thing. I want to have when I have to. It could be 90-10 either way. So it's synchronicity is maybe a better word, because sometimes I just have to grind at work. Sorry, hon, I can't talk right now. I'll be home, swear to God, at 5.30. But right now it's go time. My brother-in-law, scott, multi-wealthy great guy, loves God and has done very well. He goes don't call me at work. I go, scott, hey, what's up? Hey, listen, I love you brother, never call me at work. I get it all done here. It's my go time, it's my focus time. Yeah, and I never call him at work.
Speaker 1:He's on a schedule, yeah.
Speaker 2:Also triathlete. He's the Western 100 finisher.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, the one we were talking about.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah he's a hardcore trainer, yeah, yeah, so he never called me when I'm training.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So he never said that. So of that, and I think of that grit that it's going to take to be maverickle and marvelous and the standalone for our family.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And to prioritize in that way and it's, you know, it's not just a schedule, it's, it's, like you said, a mindset.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's a lifetime process. You'll never get it a hundred percent right, but like that's. The beauty of it all is like it's it's all going to be. It's a very creative process. It's a lot of trial and error. The biggest thing is I I always want to say is just don't quit when it gets hard. Um, you know, if you fail, that's okay.
Speaker 1:The failure is not quitting. Failure is just like. That's a lesson. Okay, you failed at something. Let's look at it, let's analyze it. Well, how did, why did you, why do you think you failed and how do you think you could have done it differently and had success?
Speaker 2:And not get fear, shame and guilt around your failure. The three killers Right Killers, fear, shame and guilt are going to kill you when you fail.
Speaker 1:And recognize that those things aren't coming from you.
Speaker 1:They're coming from external sources that you're listening to you need to turn that noise off, because so many times we're letting people dictate how our life's going to go, based on maybe we think they had a shred of success or they did it right or whatever. They have some kind of influence that we've allowed to have on them, and, good or bad, that can be a good thing to have less people have some influence on you now and again. But like, know that they do, don't just make it automatic, because then when they start telling you things that are negative to your belief system, or just not, or yeah, it's okay to challenge it, but like when they're really like pumping negativity in you over and over again.
Speaker 1:It's time to get new friends, people. It's time to just be like. You know, man, you've been my friend for 20 years and I love you, but I can't see you every day and I can't be on the phone with you every day and I can't hang out with you. I wish you well, but you got to work.
Speaker 2:Does it mean I have to turn off CNN and Fox News and not be a Fox News Christian?
Speaker 1:Thank you for saying that.
Speaker 2:I mean, there's other friends that are not my friends and my worldview gets defined by these sorry a-holes. They're not worthy of. How do you define this for me? First of all, how dare you Quick thought there's a sermon on the mount? Jesus had two things he really was talking against. One is the desire for wealth. I'm going to make money, I'm going to be entrepreneurial, I'm going to get all the stuff, man, I'm going to herd the cats. 401k, real estate, my portfolio, it's good to very good whatever. And he's going first of all. That's not it. You got to have treasure in heaven, which is relationships. That's the only thing you're going to take. There's no U-Haul at the cemetery.
Speaker 2:You can't take your ship with you my gold, my gold. No, gold's just gravel in heaven.
Speaker 1:Well, not only that, and people think that I'm leaving my legacy. I'm like listen, the car you drive, the house you live in, it's going to burn. It's all going to be dust in 100, 200 years. Even the memory of you in 10,000 years might be gone. You know, you might not even make history, so you're just, did you?
Speaker 2:even exist at all.
Speaker 1:I don't know so it's like, yeah, I mean, live for the moment and enjoy it and, you know, grind it out for the sake that the treasures you do get to take to heaven are these beautiful moments that you had in this short, short life and how important they are. So I, when I make money or I have some extra money, I'm going to throw it at like a cool vacation with my kids where we can go have an experience, and I could tell you I've only been on a few that I could afford, but the ones I've been on were memorable. That's cool.
Speaker 1:I mean, I took my kids to Chile. We saw the eclipse in the La Serena Desert.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:And it was July, so it was winter there and it was summer here. And I remember being on the mountainside with my two boys, who speak Spanish, and we're talking to another Spanish, another family who spoke Spanish down there in Chile, and just like watching this event happen in the span of like 20 minutes, where just four o'clock sunny day all of a sudden gets completely pitch dark and comes back to life.
Speaker 2:You are a wealthy man.
Speaker 1:And yeah, I mean those memories will never go away. I mean I hope not. And if they go away for me, you know, for whatever reason, they'll be there with them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the other caution in the Sermon on the Mount is power. I'm going to be. You know, money's not my thing. I can have some money, that's fine, but that's fine. But I'm a real. I'm a real, I want fame and I want some recognition and I have a big ego and I'm going to lay a trip on you and I'm going to be that guy for other people and it's like that's probably he. He spoke against that. That's really problematic, that you want to be the heavy or the guy or the controller. Yeah, now there's an interesting form of lust.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:That is like oh, and you know, we didn't even talk about sexual lust, we don't need to go there. I think that's all self-evident. That's somebody's daughter, that's somebody's mom, yes, that's somebody's sister and that's God's girl. And you're going to lust. What's wrong with you? Right, go get married, dude. Yeah, energy, go for a long. Go for the totally. Go burn that off, yeah, please.
Speaker 2:So I just want to address the power thing, because I think it's really key to um, it's a lot more subtle too, because you might not know that I'm in control, because I'm asking questions all the time how you doing pete, good, hey, what about? And it's like a power dynamic that we I think that's a real blind one that people don't see. Yeah, that people are just like I'm going to stay in control of the money or of the person, or of the marriage, or of the kid. And as soon as that kid breaks loose and goes to Humboldt, he's smoking all the weed he can find. Yeah, he's drinking, he's hanging out with all the chicks he could possibly, and it's like they blow out the doors and it's like and I'm not saying that would be permissive and hey, let's smoke weed when you're 11 with your dad. Yeah, then we're not doing that, but the bottom line is um, I think that that control freaks in our lives have hurt us.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And it hurts us because we become. We've become them is what Pogo Pogo used to say. Pogo used to say Pogo's our cartoon strip. Oh okay, we've become them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right, it's crazy, yeah, to think about it, yeah, how we kind of morph into our parents and you know it's DNA. Yeah, I like that. But, like you know, and for all the different reasons, but yeah, well, finally, I want to just touch on a couple of things. You know years of being. You know 27,. When the book says 27 years is more than that now of being a father and now grandfather too.
Speaker 1:Um, 11 kids, a lot, 11. Yeah, there's a lot of kids out there. Um, um, you've watched your kids become adults and, um, you know, we, we talked and I know this is kind of personal for you, but you know you had some estrangement with one of your kids and we were talking at church a few months ago how you were going to reach out and you did and you healed the situation, and I want you to just tell us about how that all went.
Speaker 2:I'd reframe it as a participation in healing. We were called by them to come and visit and sit and talk and mediate for four hours of gloriously hard work. Yeah, like you said, sometimes hard stuff results in beautiful fruit and glorious stuff, and in this case it did. And you know, estrangement's a funny thing when we ghost people yeah, because it's hard. It's hard on everybody and that's not who we are. I was confident in my prayer life. This wasn't going to go forever and I was reduced to not calling and bugging and cajoling. I was reduced to just one thing and that was my faith in God and asking God hey, these are your kids and we're all broken. When can we, when can we possibly put this back together? And we did, and the story is still ongoing, but we're talking. We got to hang out afterward. It was, it was really restorative and it came from empathy and brokenness and hearing one another and tears yeah and going, you know, uh, and it drew something out of me.
Speaker 2:I'm not a big crying guy, which is, yeah, kind of sad for me really yeah but I, but I want to be willing to do that.
Speaker 2:So I, I, um, um, it took me to to sit long enough and slow down my ADD, look a squirrel and a red balloon to really cool down and be present and show up and listen with empathy and not with judgment and not with fixing. I'm dad to fix it, man. Yeah, no, have him wait in the car, because right now you just want dad, the guy to show up to go. Oh, my God, that sucks, that's oh, I can't even imagine how much that sucked for you. And to be present, and I think, the pastor yesterday, the disaster pastor, yeah.
Speaker 2:When they go to New Orleans after a hurricane, people just or after the Texas flood, this sad thing People just want to tell their story and be heard. Yeah, and I think that's a dad thing and that would be a dad, a good conclusive practice to be. I think some of us have answers. We just want to be heard.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And affirmed and go. You know what? I'm with you, bro. I'm with you, buddy. I think CR is going to be amazing for you. You're going to be an amazing student. I'm with you. I know it's going to be hard. There's some weirdos there and you have some fears and we'll talk about those, but I am with you, I'm going to support you. And then that showing up for people how can I help?
Speaker 2:Nick, how can I help and support you? How can I be a blessing to Nick yeah, to you, to Joni and, you know, to those divine appointments that I'll have today with people to go? How can I slow down and get out of my head and get into your life and go wow, you went to Disneyland. That is so cool, man, you went to Disneyland. Or, hey, you're broken and your kid's a broken child. Oh, no, really, and not disingenuously, but to authentically have the words and know the power of your words, when spoken with authenticity and genuineness, can powerfully change people. I think you're doing a great podcast, a great service. I like the grit thing.
Speaker 2:I like Maverick grit. Yeah, that's a good one. I'm going to use that one you got to soundbite that one, nick.
Speaker 1:Well, to close, I think a lot of what you just said takes a strong amount of humility, and it's harder to find humility as you get older because you get stuck in your ways and this and that. But humility is everything and just always being open to new, learning and being teachable. You know, at any age, um, and, like I said, the best years could be in front of you because you're, you're, you're human and you, um, you can be humble. And, and I'll tell you what, if you're not ready to, to practice humility as a person, and you're stuck there and you have these relationships that have gone bad or whatever, broken, and you don't think you can find humility, don't worry, just wait a minute, because humbleness will just come to you in a life experience. Oh yeah, you will be humbled by something in your life and you at least expect it sometimes you'll be going along going.
Speaker 1:I know everything. I'm mr confident, I got it all figured out. Bam yeah, humbleness will hit you like a ton of bricks and nobody likes Mr Confident.
Speaker 2:I want to know a guy that's broken, that has all the scars yeah, exactly, and the t-shirt, and he actually came. He or she came through that. Yes, and as a whole person. And you know when you're with a whole person, because there's a different spirit to it there's just somebody that's going. I don't know what it is about this person, but they're amazing.
Speaker 2:It's something in me that is attracted to who they are and who they become, and I think I really like what you just said and I think that the humility take a deep breath, chill out, bro, and there's a lot of words like surrender and abandon and let it go and get out of the control business, stay in your lane. There's a lot of ways to say that, but to put that into practice is where you really need. You really need the coach approach, yeah, and you need, uh, the spirit of god in you to enact that change, because I can fake it real good a couple weeks, pete, I look great, I can run, I'm a mate and then, and then you know, I'm a good starter and I don't want to be a good starter to enact that change, because I can fake it real good A couple weeks, pete, I look great, I can run, I'm amazing. And then you know I'm a good starter and I don't want to be a good starter anymore.
Speaker 2:I've started a lot of things. I want to finish strong. Back to the consistency, endurance, steadfastness, and maybe it's just a little bit every day and maybe I trip on my shoelaces, my hook is crap and I fell and I skinned it and I get up again. Learn the lesson, tie your shoe twice, double knot and keep going, and I think that might be the beginning of some success. Yeah, it might be. Or wholeness I don't know about success anymore, what that means.
Speaker 1:It's worth giving it a shot. Dan, I really appreciate your time today. That's so enlightening. I feel like this is just should just be like part one of maybe a five part series on fatherhood, and there's so much are. I didn't get to highlight it in the book that we'll have to get to, but once I finished the book I'm going to have you back on again for part two. Happy Cause, I want to talk about goals. That's. That's where I'm at on the book right now the Purpose of Goals. We'll hit that next time, but appreciate your time.
Speaker 1:Thank you, appreciate you, man, for coming through buddy and I know you're going on a little retreat for a little while.
Speaker 2:Gonna go over the pond and see my son in Amsterdam and granddaughters who are magical, so awesome, should be fun.
Speaker 1:That's gonna be a really nice trip, yeah Just gonna discover that Maybe the best is ahead.
Speaker 1:I think it is man. I really think it is. I'm going to leave it on that note. The best years of our life are ahead of us, no matter what age 60, 70, we're still ahead of you. I see a lot of happy 75 year olds. I see I saw an 80 year old, just the, you know, the oldest person just to finish here, the oldest person to finish a Western States or, I'm sorry, not Western States Badwater, badwater 135 is like a gnarly ultra marathon through Death Valley.
Speaker 2:Whoa.
Speaker 1:Like crazy and it goes from below sea level up to through Mount Whitney which is 7,000 feet inbound Crazy 45 hours. This guy's 80 years old, his name is Bob Becker, you can look him up. He finished it. He finished it 80. Oldest oldest ever finished that ultra marathon.
Speaker 2:Maverick grit.
Speaker 1:I mean Old maverick grit. Best years of his life were ahead of him. Still probably are he finished.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's finish strong, man yeah.
Speaker 1:Thank you all for checking out the grit podcast and really appreciate you all for tuning in. My guest today was Scott Hammond Scott. You can get this book right Still on.
Speaker 2:Amazon maybe, I think, you can get a Kindle version of it. A Kindle version, they're very rare. Now they're 600 bucks, the copies, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, Go get the version. Is there an audio book version maybe?
Speaker 2:I think there's a video.
Speaker 1:You should do the audio book of this I think you're right, your voice would be perfect for it. Like a re and do. Like a re, bridged or a revision version. But everyday dad, the guide to becoming a better father by Scott Hammond. Go Google it, look it up and find it. Um, I was lucky enough to get my own physical copy from the man himself, also signed to me and my wife.
Speaker 1:They're pretty awesome, um, but yeah, go check it out and you know, like, just keep being you and get out there and you know, if you're a father, you know spend time, stop what you're doing right now and go play catch with your kids or just go hang out with them and, you know, be in the real world with your children, you know, and hopefully you can raise some good humans. Thanks for tuning in. We'll talk to you next time.
Speaker 2:Peace.
