The STUber Podcast
Take a ride with STUber! Every other week a new roadtrip will feature special guest interviews and good ole' backseat bantor! On this journey we will explore a variety of topics around sacrifice, service, and spirituality. Hop in, buckle up, and let's take a ride!
The STUber Podcast
S1 | EP 3: Last Hurrah or Last Heartache: Candid Talks on Pre-Wedding Celebrations
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On this episode of the Stuber podcast, we discuss trust, friendship, and the truth behind pre-wedding celebrations—offering a fresh, humorous take on a classic tradition.
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Lorraine's Cafe @lorraines.cafe on IG // 10% DISCOUNT PROMO CODE: STUber
There will be bromance when you think about your would-be hubby going on his bachelor , and why you should support him is because he will receive those Bromantical situations . Those comfort hugs . I'm sure Chad gave me a couple of those ?
Speaker 2Oh my God , I definitely gave him a hug . Did he cuff the cheeks ?
Speaker 3No , I'm not a cheek guy , okay . Did he hug you from behind .
Speaker 2He Titanic'd him one time .
Speaker 1Next question Thank you for stopping by the Stuber podcast . I'm your host , slash driver , stu Briggs , and today we are hopping in a Stuber black SUV . We need space , we need something with dark tint on the windows , we need to look as if we're pulling up to any scene with our ceiling missing and , more importantly , we need like first aid kits and things like that , because who knows where we could go on this particular journey . Joining me are two guys and a gal . One guy uh , he calls himself the bad man on instagram , chatteluka . Just noticed that . The other guy we call him Ty Clef , also known as T Chisel . Both of these good gentlemen were groomsmen in my wedding and carried me to safety in my bachelor party . And then my wife she's going to represent the ladies over this particular show .
Speaker 1There's a lot of little intricacies that are worth noting . Hop in , definitely buckle up . Maybe put two seat belts on I don't know how you do that like buckle one side and then take the other one across your body , whatever , just hold on tight . Let's go for a ride . We got ourselves a nice one . Today . We are going to provide a service to would-be , soon-to-be , plan-to-be , hope-to-be brides and grooms , not to be confused with plan B Good . As I was saying , sometimes when we think about bachelor parties , it conjures up for some people not everyone images of strippers , lots of booze drinking . We don't want that one weekend or that one night to jeopardize an entire future . Bachelor parties can actually be more of an occasion that's sedated . My aim and my intention is to reassure folks that they have nothing to worry about or not , I don't know . We're going to find out today . The first person that I want to have speak on this topic is my wife , jane . You have my last name , correct Briggs . When you heard that I was going on a bachelor party , what was your reaction ?
Speaker 2I had no worries at all . I didn't think you would have the stereotypical bachelor party with strippers and heavy drinking . That's the hopes of any potential bride-to-be that it's going to be all innocent fun . Potential bride-to-be , that is going to be all innocent fun , depending on the groom , depending on the groom's friends . It could go sideways , especially when drinking is involved , especially when you get a bunch of guys together . It's a potential opportunity to blow off some steam and to go wild in a way that you can't express on a normal basis , which is easy to get sucked into as a groom , as a participant , as a single guy , as a married guy , as a guy who's dating . The idea can be sold for like the last rod .
Speaker 2Almost every bachelor party I've been to there has been some sort of drug use , sometimes extreme drug use . I've come to expect that , as par for the course on any bachelor party , was Narcan on hand . No , there was no Narcan on any of the events that I've been . To expect that , as par for the course on any bachelor party , was Narcan on hand . No , there was no Narcan on any of the events that I've been aware of .
Speaker 1Tyler is not trying to sugarcoat the reality , but what Jane is saying is that certain bachelor parties , given the collective makeup of the group that's going , you can feel like nothing too bad is going to happen .
Speaker 2You can think what something's going to be like based on the personalities , but once you get there it can take on a whole different element . From Jane's perspective , how well does she know everybody in that bachelor party to where she can say for sure that she was confident that wasn't going to happen ?
Speaker 3Jane definitely has a reasonable understanding of men around Stuart . I mean , obviously we're not going to let him get hurt or something bad happen to him in a bachelor party .
Speaker 2Right , that's if we have eyes and control over him the whole time . I'm talking about reasonable expectations versus reality .
Speaker 3No , that is reasonable expectations . Obviously , a comet can come from the sky and hit me in my head right now and I'm dead . That's not likely to happen .
Speaker 2I think that's a horrible comparison .
Speaker 1I want to share a couple facts and you guys can pontificate on these facts . The first fact is 75% of men and 65% of women think that they can bend the rules of infidelity on the bachelor party . So they think that , hey , it's my last hurrah .
Speaker 2Are we talking about the groom and the bride , or are we talking about the surrounding people ?
Speaker 1The groom and the bride , yeah , the celebrant . 75% of men and 65% of women think that it's okay to bend the rules of infidelity on their bachelor party . Technically , it's not to bend the rules of infidelity on their bachelor party .
Speaker 2Technically , it's not infidelity if they're not married . It depends on how you describe infidelity if it's cheating on someone you're married with or cheating on some verbal agreement that's not legally binding . A bachelor party could be like a last hurrah , doing something with someone else before they enter into marriage which they won't want to bend the rules of because that's a more structured thing with legal ramifications on top of that . Is it a big deal ? I think yes , and I think that's even a reason not to get married to that person After five years of being married . What's not going to have that same motivation with someone else further down the line , at somebody else's bachelor party , at someone else's last hurrah or someone else's thing where there's no witnesses , no way to get caught ?
Speaker 141% of men and 38% of women receive lap dances . Is that okay ?
Speaker 2men and 38% of women receive lap dances . Is that okay ? It just depends on your relationship beforehand going into the bachelor party . Going into the bachelorette party .
Speaker 1Which is key . If you don't have a partner that you can talk these things out with and have a honest conversation and talk about your expectations , then perhaps you shouldn't marry that person .
Speaker 2Everyone goes into it thinking that they have that with the person . It's just 25% of those people do some other stuff .
Speaker 1Is it fair to say that bachelor parties are more about booze binging , but we disguise it as a celebration . Is that a fair assessment or is that not a fair assessment ?
Speaker 2I would say it's more of a celebration , but the celebrations always include booze . How about for the ?
Speaker 1ladies at your bachelorette . Was it binge boozing or was it more of a celebration ?
Speaker 2More of a celebration . Guys also don't know how to celebrate in the way that girls know how to celebrate . With guys , drinking goes along with celebration . That's the way some guys only know how to celebrate . Girls would have a communal type of celebration that doesn't have to involve alcohol , because they're not trying to be macho . They can express their feelings without having to be drunk . With dudes you don't even get someone's true feelings . You don't get the I love you man's in a non-drunk state .
Speaker 1That never comes when you're sober , and that's one key takeaway and I'm glad you hit on that is that for those would-be fiancés is that there will be bromance when you think you're guaranteed your would-be hubby going on his bachelor . And why you should support him is because he will receive those Romantical situations . Those comfort hugs . I'm sure Chad gave me a couple of those .
Speaker 2Oh my God , I definitely gave him a hug Did he cuff the cheeks .
Speaker 3No , I'm not a cheek guy , okay .
Speaker 2Did he hug you from behind ? He titanic'd him one time .
Speaker 1Next question so is the emphasis on sex , whether it be a stripper popping up out of a birthday cake or the act of having sex . Is that more of an idea or is it actually a reality ? A lot of would-be brides want to know . Does that actually happen ? I have an opinion about this .
Speaker 2Oh , he's pleading the fifth it is a reality for sure in your book . Huh , not always , but it is a reality .
Speaker 1See , that's what I'm saying .
Speaker 2You got to have that one little disclaimer that it is not always it's always , but I feel like when it does happen , the bride definitely doesn't think that it happened but I'm trying to speak to those that are worried .
Speaker 2So I'm trying to give the worried people the truth so they can decide whether a bachelor or bachelorette party is something for them , Because I don't think it's for everybody . What does that mean ? If it's something that you're worried about and if it's something that could make or break your relationship , you probably shouldn't even have it . Where's the trust ? You probably shouldn't even have it . Where's the trust ? If it's the trusting , then , based on your numbers , 25% of the time the trust was there but the trust wasn't followed through with .
Speaker 1Also based on my numbers , 20% of men and 31% of women want to know the details of what happened .
Speaker 2Right . So the majority don't even want to know , because they know it's bad .
Speaker 1Or maybe because they are willing to overlook it . You bring some interesting arguments to the table for folks to chew on . Let's go to our next question . Some of these guys that are coming , are they there for themselves or are they there for the groom ? In other words , are they trying to reenact the wild antics of what bonded them back in their 20s or in their college days ?
Speaker 3So how many people have met their soon-to-be husband or bride on a bachelor party ? It's obviously an opportunity to connect to other people and meet people , regardless of whether it is a short-term connection or not .
Speaker 1That's a great point . People can have a great experience in addition to being a part of celebrating multiple agendas . Multiple agendas , that's a good term for it . We didn't talk about the money aspect of it all . I think that's a huge part to consider . The average cost of attending a bachelor party is $1,044 .
Speaker 3I would not have spent $1,040 on somebody I was not close to , but for you that's not money , it's just free . That's a great point , but that can be tricky .
Speaker 2But for you that's not money , it's just free . That's a great point , but that can be tricky . So to your point how many people are you willing to spend over $1,000 to go on a bachelor party ? Not that many . A lot of people end up spending that amount of money on it . There's lots of different sacrifices that people made to make it happen Time-wise , financially .
Speaker 1All sorts of different scenarios that financial piece of the bachelor party is a huge piece and it could lead to conflict on bachelor's parties . There could be a person that has money and the person that's cash strapped Chat thoughts .
Speaker 3So if there is a conflict during the bachelor party , it should lead towards the bachelor . Whatever he wants to do is what . Everybody should be on board .
Speaker 2Uh-oh , we've got a hand raised here , I would say that's definitely not the case , based on what Stu mentioned earlier about people have different amounts of money . Some people have the money , some people don't . I've been at a bachelor party where I was the poorest person there and some of the activities they're doing were out of what I could afford and I didn't participate in some of those activities . I'm not going to spend $10,000 on a bachelor party because everyone else has spent $10,000 . I'm not doing that just for the Bachelor . It doesn't even have to be money . Let's say , Sometimes activities Maybe you have a religious reason why you don't want to go to a strip club or some belief of something that's wrong that you don't want to take part of .
Speaker 2Maybe you're against animal cruelty so you're not going to go to the zoo . Not everyone can afford the same thing . But if Stu is like a millionaire and he wants to go to a steakhouse where every steak is $500 , it doesn't mean everyone he invites to the bachelor party is willing to do that . He can't necessarily expect everyone to pay that because it's something he wants to do . I went to a bachelor party with a bunch of dentists and periodontists and these guys are all making 10 , 20 times more money than I am . So going to a steakhouse and dropping $400 on a nice steak meal is nothing to them . To me in my 20s , that's not happening .
Speaker 3I'm not really interested in spending $400 on a steak . It's just silly for me , Like why would I pay that much for a steak when we can ?
Speaker 1derive from this conversation . Coffee can arise over finances , and that is something to consider . All right , fellas , let's close on this note . One writer wrote that the rite of passage known as the bachelor party is a ritual performed in recognition of the passage from one stage of life to another . It's not an initiation into manhood administered by elders , but the expulsion from manhood by his peers . So , in essence , you're being expelled All the things you would do normally as a man . Yeah , walk around the house butt naked . I could probably still do that .
Speaker 3I would definitely do that .
Speaker 1Crazy , but some of the liberties you had as you're single , that chapter is gone and I don't know if it's necessarily about conflicting gender identities and saying your behavior has to change , but certainly it is a rite of passage into a different modality of living . Agree or disagree , and that will be our final word .
Speaker 2Ideally for me , entering into a marriage wouldn't mean that you have to change as a person and step into a different modality of being . That wouldn't be the type of situation or the type of person that I'd want to be with to completely have to change and not be myself .
Speaker 1I hope we were able to dispel any myths that might be out there about bachelor parties , as well as be candidly honest about what can happen at bachelor parties . You and your soon-to-be partner walk that aisle . Say your I do's without any regrets or reservations . Thanks for listening . If you enjoyed this episode and you'd like to help support the podcast , please share it with others , post about it on social media or leave a rating and review . To catch all the latest from me , you can follow me on Instagram at Stuber underscore podcast . Thanks again and until next time . Keep your head up and eyes on the road .
Speaker 3Today's episode was brought to you by Lorraine's Cafe , and until next time , keep your head up and eyes on the road .
