How marketing co-opted authenticity, with Lauren Esmay

 I'm calling an amnesty today.  

An amnesty on using the word authentic in your copy. 

 And I realize, having sat down and talked to today's guest, that I'm pretty much going to have to go back and rewrite large chunks of my own copying content.  But I hope that after today's chat, you'll understand why.  Today's guest and I think that the word authentic or authenticity has had its day. 

I'm talking today to Lauren Esmay.  Lauren is a copywriter who specializes in helping clients create a holistic framework to serve their clients and consumers better.  She's a PhD candidate in health psychology, and she's completed extensive research in self connection. And today, she's talking to me about how Webster's 2023 Word of the Year - Authenticity - is her personal soapbox.  

Lauren and I talk about how experiencing the collective crisis of the pandemic has encouraged us all to be the truest versions of ourselves and how this has contributed to the rise of the personal brand.  We talk about how using the word authentic to describe yourself can end up being more divisive because you place your values and beliefs and opinions above everybody else, essentially saying that they're not authentic. We talk about how to do authenticity well,  how to build an online presence that is authentic in the true meaning of the word, and how to show that you're running an authentic business without liberally sprinkling the word all over your copy and content. 

So as someone who is about to go away and rewrite their website,  and find more creative ways of demonstrating that I run a business that is a true representation of myself and my values. I want to encourage you to think about how often you reach for this easy shorthand of words like authenticity or authentic and how we might be contributing to the co opting of a really important concept by those who are just trying to sell more stuff.

Lauren's got a lot of interesting things to say and her background in health psychology makes this a really valuable conversation. So sit back, grab a cup of tea and listen to Lauren get on her soapbox.

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Transcript

 I'm calling an amnesty today.  An amnesty on using the word authentic in your copy.  And I realize, having sat down and talked to today's guest, that I'm pretty much going to have to go back and rewrite large chunks of my own copying content.  But I hope that after today's chat, you'll understand why.  Today's guest and I think that the word authentic or authenticity has had its day. 

I'm talking today to Lauren Esmay.  Lauren is a copywriter who specializes in helping clients create a holistic framework to serve their clients and consumers better.  She's a PhD candidate in health psychology, and she's completed extensive research in self connection. And today, she's talking to me about how Webster's 2023 Word of the Year.

Authenticity is her personal soapbox.  Lauren and I talk about how experiencing the collective crisis of the pandemic has encouraged us all to be the truest versions of ourselves and how this has contributed to the rise of the personal brand.  We talk about how using the word authentic to describe yourself can end up being more divisive  because you place your values and beliefs and opinions  above everybody else, 

essentially saying that they're not authentic. We talk about how to do authenticity well,  how to build an online presence that is authentic in the true meaning of the word, and how to show that you're running an authentic business without liberally sprinkling the word all over your copy and content. 

So, as someone who is about to go away and rewrite their website,  and find more creative ways of demonstrating that I run a business that is a true representation of myself and my values. I want to encourage you to think about how often you reach for this easy shorthand of words like authenticity or authentic and how we might be contributing to the co opting of a really important concept by those who are just trying to sell more stuff.

Lauren's got a lot of interesting things to say and her background in health psychology makes this a really valuable conversation. So sit back, grab a cup of tea and listen to Lauren get on her soapbox. 

 Lauren, it is fabulous to have you on the podcast. I'm really excited to dive into what we're going to talk about. 

Thank you for having me. I'm really excited to be here.

Cool. So for people who haven't come across you online or who don't know you can you tell them a little bit about who you are, what you do and how you got there?

So, , my name is Lauren, Lauren Esmay, and, , I am a copywriter slash marketer. And I've typically been helping out small businesses and people in the healthcare space and mental health industry. , I spent about 10 years in the mental health field prior to kind of, Making a career switch.

And I did that right at the  kind of at the beginning of the lovely pandemic that started in 2020. I was working for basically like a chain of crisis lines and we needed to have. a resource manual for all of the hospital systems that we worked with that had kept their waiting lists for inpatient treatment.

So it was my job to go through and find  Therapists or intensive outpatient programs in the state of Oregon and the United States to kind of build that resource list to give to clients who are in, in immediate need. And I started realizing, oh, there are some of these websites that  I know the person or I've, I've been in the same room with these people in trainings and I know what they're capable of, but that's not reflective of their website.

So what's this disconnect? And. You know, like even 10 years ago,  if you were a therapist with a website, you were seen as legit. And now I see it as like, this is a first person's impression of you. And so it needs to be kind of like this,  it needs to be a very representative version of you. And so I started realizing that, and you know, I did  probably thousands of these websites. 

You know, looking at them and evaluating them, I was like, Oh, I feel like there's like some money in this, or like, there's, there's something else that I can do with this. And it just happened that my husband was about to start his own private practice. as a therapist. And we talked about whether we should find someone else to make his website, or if I wanted to take that on as my trial project. 

That's what I did. So I learned a lot about marketing. I learned a lot about copywriting. I took a few copywriting courses to kind of hone that. Skill that I felt like I already had with some of the previous positions. And that's how I got my start. And here I am almost three years later. 

It's really funny. My husband's business website was my first website project.

Oh, that's really cool.  It's nice because you, you're able to see like what's working and what's not from a lens that you can't with most other clients that you work with.

Yes. And I could be slightly bossier about what I put on there and what I said. No, essentially all he wanted was a big button that was just like, this is how you contact me. And I'm like, well, I can, yeah, I can make you a big button, but you are going to need something else on the rest of the website. 

Right. Right. Right.

Cool. Okay.  So a big background in in mental health, in healthcare and then using that expertise to, yeah, to help therapists give people a better better impression. I think that's, yeah, that's a hugely valuable thing to do. And you're right. It used to be that all you needed was a URL and everybody was like, Oh, you know what you're doing. Whereas now it feels like there's a lot more, there's a lot more choice involved. There's a lot more, there's a greater need to build up trust all of which, yeah, your website needs to do, if you're a therapist, the same as if you're, well, even more so than if you're selling somebody like, I think candles. 

Okay. So, I asked all of my guests on the Soapbox podcast to tell me what their soapbox is. So the thing that like keeps them up at night that they always find themselves going back to in conversations the topic that, that really interests them slash annoys them. So Lauren, what is your soapbox? 

So, one thing that I realized with. Some of these websites, particularly with people that I knew in the community was  this website is not an accurate reflection of who I knew them to be. And not just who I knew them to be as in, in personal life, but who I knew them to be as a professional. And so, I know that this is a word that is thrown around way too often  or to me at least it was actually Webster's Word of the year in 2023 when it's authenticity.

And I feel like I just go down so many rabbit holes when discussing this with people and, and very like conversational, like constructive conversational matters of, well, what does authenticity mean and, and how do you show this in a business? How do you show this in your everyday life? And so that is my soap box about we've used those words so much now that it's become  inauthentically authentic, I believe

this is one of my own soapboxes too. Like it's, it's one of those words that's just become a bit like It's like it's been used so often that doesn't really mean anything. It's just background noise. Okay, so let's start,  let's start with the, with the negatives. So can you tell me a little bit about how you've seen people  Use it badly or ineffectively. So how are people doing authenticity? I'm doing my little air quotes that nobody on the podcast can see. How are people doing that badly? 

People are now using this as a marketing term as a way to get clients because people are now realizing that they want to live,  quote unquote, authentic lives.  But the issue is, is like, people are saying, Oh, I want to be more authentic, or I'm looking for authenticity in my next job. But like, what does that mean?

And. I've always been, I'm a, I'm a very like systems oriented person. So I really like to break things down. So like, what does that mean? And I honestly believe that means something different for every single one of us out here. And so I know that there are brands out there that are like, we're We're true to our values, but like, what are your values?

If you're not, if you're not spelling out what your values are, then,  then, then what, how does someone else know that? And so one of the, the examples that I really like to think of is a community that I've, that I've worked with. been a part of for almost a decade is the vegan community. And I think that that's a community that has a lot of, of issues with authenticity.

Honestly, because  for the most part, people that get on their soapboxes about veganism are the people that are talking about being kind and compassionate and you're not going to  show someone, you're not going to win someone over to veganism if you're just ridiculing them for their choices. And like, you know, the, the thing is, is like, I think. 

Personally, I think diets are a very personal choice. You never know what like health issues someone else is having that they may have to have like almost a, a prescribed diet. So like for them, it may mean that they're, they may actually be more kind and compassionate than  a vegan person, but they're not able to,  I have a vegan diet because of their health issues or other surroundings.

And so like,  if you're, if you're preaching this version of being kind and compassionate to animals that also should include humans. So it's like, it's, it's not being authentic because you're,  you're not displaying what your values are that you are staying are. Yes. 

And I guess now that it, I think you're right. It has kind of become a bit of a marketing tool  and people will wander around saying they're authentic, but when it's not, you can be authentically not a very nice person, 

Yes. 

I'm someone that if I, if I had a dollar for every time someone called me intimidating, I would be rich. And. It's because I'm someone that I like to gather all of this knowledge before I talk about it. But that for me is my authenticity.

It may not be someone else's. And  so like, usually when I do speak about things, especially in a room full of people, I don't know, it kind of comes off as harsh, but I'm not meaning for it to come off as harsh. I'm meaning for it to come off of like, you know, I've done this research on X, Y, and Z. And, and here's what I found. 

But a lot of people view that as intimidating. And I do think that some of that comes from me being a woman. Because a lot of times this has come up in spaces that I'm surrounded by mostly men. And so like, for me though, like that's, that's how I show up in the world. But that doesn't mean that that's how you show up or someone else, but like, that's me being who I am.

And it's. Not that I am like, not being kind, it just comes off as that way. 

 It feels sometimes like  authenticity and being ethical are kind of like the interchangeable buzzwords that have been thrown around, like the solopreneur kind of freelancer.  Creative community, this idea that you have to be authentic, you have to be ethical,  whereas we don't have, or we don't use  when we talk about that,  the definitions of what those words mean.  Like, so we say that we're being ethical, but then we, what we really mean is that we're trying to be nice to people, or we say we're being authentic when what we mean is, we, I don't know, share a picture of our messy living room every now and again.  It's almost like a performative level of authenticity or of kind of running an ethical business. What do, can you give me an idea of of what you think being authentic and kind of working out authenticity in your business looks like? 

Sure. So  if you look up the word authentic or authenticity can we get two different tracks or I see it as two different tracks. One of them is to be genuine and the other one is to kind of stay original and they could be interchangeable, but I see it.  as a way of like,  you still have to define what these other words mean, but like, what are your values?

And just because I have a certain set of values that are different from your, your values, it doesn't mean that my values are wrong or that your values are wrong. It's just, these are my set of values.

Like, I live in a city right now that a few months ago, they started implementing a rule that you cannot take a right hand turn when there's a red light. In most states and other cities across the country, you can. And it's to help with fatalities that have Increase, especially with pedestrians.

And so I understand both sides of these. laws, but it's just because like one state or one city may have this law and the other one doesn't, it doesn't mean that one is wrong and or one is right. And I feel like without going too deep of a in politics, I feel 

it, it's fine. 

especially in the last like eight to 10 years in the, in the United States, like we've,  we've become divided.

In our politics that if you are for one candidate, then you must be against every single person on the other spectrum, when in reality, I feel like most people would actually gather towards the middle and could see  other people's views of this and whether or not they like necessarily feel like that's their views or that's their values, they could still respect another person for that.

And,  you know, especially in this last decade, it's just become a thing that of division.  And in some ways I see that with the words of ethical and being authentic, being  misused in marketing and in business, because  you're doing it to try to attract a certain person. But I think that it's actually.

Creating more division and not division in a way of like, I'm nation division, just in a way of like,  I am right. And these other people are wrong. And I think that, you know, I think that we need to get back to a point of, like, just because, like,  values may be different from your values. doesn't mean that like either person is wrong.

Going back to the veganism example, I know a few vegans in my personal life that they will not eat with meat eaters and I think that is  insane  and it's like  just because they see things differently doesn't mean that one of you is right and one is wrong  and so how this translates to Business and marketing is like, you know, I worked for an agency for several months that was they were a rural agency and they targeted small businesses and it was not a good fit for me because I was having to do  work that did not align with my values.

And to get even more specific,  was  being not just asked, but I was being told that I needed to exclude some language that would have included the LGBTQ community on a few websites.  And  That is something that I just cringed at and I could definitely feel like my productivity was going down. And for me, it was a place of my values aren't aligning.

But, I know some people that would have just quit at that, and  that would have been fine. I wanted to try to hold out to see if, you know, maybe I could help them understand where my viewpoints were coming from, and why we needed to,  perhaps like, change at least some of the language to where it was a little more inclusive, or not as.

disparaging  but it just turned out that it wasn't a good fit and while they still do good work for that community it wasn't aligning to my values and you know we we went our separate ways and it wasn't really discussed but I think that that is  when it comes to business I think that that's a good example as like what was true for them was not true for me and that is okay. 

But  we both knew when it was time to walk away from a situation.  And I still talk to some of the people that are there and, you know, it was a little bit of a rough patch and that's okay too, but like, I think if we're going to keep talking about authenticity and business, we also need to be more inclusive about.

respecting people's values and being okay with that. 

Do you think that one of the reasons that we're talking about authenticity more is because  we're seeing a massive rise in the idea of personal brands?  So, like, a few years ago, you wouldn't have known what a founder of an e commerce company was like. You probably wouldn't even have known his name. Like,  people  Yeah, the CEO of some big  brand wouldn't have had a LinkedIn page where he talked about what he was doing on a daily basis or, and there definitely wouldn't have been as many kind of solopreneurs or creative business owners knocking around on Instagram talking about their lives. Do you think  that that's why we're talking about authenticity more? 

I think it is. And I also think that you know, I did mention the pandemic and I think that that's where a lot of this also came from because, you know, globally we experienced a crisis together. And whenever you experience a crisis like that, or you don't know, you know, I still,  I was someone that I was terrified to go to the grocery store.

And part of that, I'm going to be a bit vulnerable here. And I think that this is, you know, part of my experience with this is also why I push so much for, quote unquote, authenticity is. I still consider myself in recovery from an eating disorder and an eating disorder that started when I was 10 years old.

So it's like been, you know, it was a big part of my identity for several years. And  in that I had to learn that I had to, that it was essentially being a mask for other parts of my life. And  I remember I was in a treatment center  and kind of this light went off for me. It's like, I don't know what it's going to take or like what's going to come of this.

But all I know right now is the only way I'm going to get through this is to become the truest version of myself. And I had no idea what that looked like. I was  21 years old about to graduate from college and I was terrified. And so  I say all that to think, like, how ironic would it be for me to walk into a grocery store, you know, March of 2020, April of 2020, and get COVID and die when, like,  food was something that I avoided for so long.

And so we experience this crisis.  And I think that what it did for us, whether people want to like really admit it or be this woo about it. I think what it really made us realize is we needed to take inventory of what really mattered to us.  Like I know some people that, you know, are saying that maybe I'm one of these people, but that they're saying like they would never go back into an office setting again.

And it's because, you know, or at least not for several years because they want to be able to be around their family more or they were able to separate work a little more than they were if they were working in an office. And so I think that, you know.  For the sake of,  of understanding, like why we've had this massive shift over the last, I don't know, five to probably eight years I think it is personal branding, but I think that it's also.

People are understanding that or at least slowly understanding that they, they want or need to have.  Some sort of work into where they feel fulfilled. Like they can't just go to this place and clock in for eight hours a day and then clock out and, you know, go back to this different life. Like they want to be able to integrate  home life and work life  in a sense of like, they're feeling fulfilled throughout the day.

And I think that that's why we see personal branding more and why being authentic is such. an important conversation, but I think that  the word authentic and maybe even the meaning of it has kind of been lost in translation that people are like, well, I want authenticity, but now that there's this like middle ground of like, or, or middle missing key of Okay, so how do I get that? 

Yeah, it feels like  that the pandemic, but also, yeah, kind of leading up to it removed those artificial barriers between the different parts of your life. And now people are more likely to want to be all of them in all of the different parts of their life, rather than leaving different parts of them  at home when they're in an office or leaving different parts of them at home when they're on the internet marketing their business.  Yeah.  Okay. So , how do you do it? Well,  like if if your big bugbear is that we are missing the point a little bit, like it's become a word that we throw around, it doesn't really mean anything. How do you build a business or like an online presence that is actually authentic in the true meaning of, or the original meaning of the word? 

I think that that's I think that that is a very difficult thing to do. I think that  as I just said of, you know, we're trying to to have a work life and a home life that kind of complement each other. I think in some aspects though, it's still kind of necessary to And, and maybe not completely divide them, but kind of see your, your business as something different than you.

So you're,  one thing that I get really into is the, the Myers Briggs personality test. So like, maybe I have like this certain personality out of all the 16, but maybe my business has one that  kind of complements that. It doesn't necessarily have to be reflective of it, but it, maybe it helps me to kind of fill in the gaps of like, for example, I can be a very strategic person, which is something I definitely carry over to my business side, but also I think one thing that I sometimes lack in my personal life is  So my business allows me to do that. 

I don't think that they necessarily have to be to opposite ends of the spectrum. Matter of fact, I think that that would be inauthentic. But I think that, you know, when you're, when you're working with people as a business, it may be different people than you would associate with in your personal life.

And so what I would,  the way I started structuring it was  I got really Really into what I wanted my career path to look like what I want my business to look like. And for me,  I don't, I don't necessarily care about like, you know, working a four hour work week. I think that would be boring for me. I like to work.

And people that, that say that I'm like, Hmm, I wonder like how true that is, but also like, what do you do with all this extra time?  And so for me, it was more like, I wanted the flexibility.  Within like the schedule and not necessarily like on a on a weekly schedule or whatever, but I'm someone that I wouldn't necessarily say I have seasonal depression, but I definitely notice like how my energy levels change throughout the seasons and not necessarily like, Oh, I just don't have any energy during the winter months.

It's more like  where my, my energy fluctuates throughout the day is different in winter months versus summer months. And, you know, I'm also a very active person and I love to be outside. So like when it's actually nice weather to me, it's like, do I really need to be like sitting in an office for eight or nine hours when I could be like  outside?

And so for me, that was like a core value that I wanted to bring into my business, but that doesn't necessarily mean that my business has to reflect that. So it's.  Beginning to like get really intentional about what your, your goals are and  values are in a career  or in your work. Like, what do you want to contribute to the world with your work?

And then like, use that as kind of the foundation to kind of build from there. And, you know, like I'm pretty certain at this point, I would never want to manage an agency. That's just not something I want to do. So, with that in mind, and I kind of keep out the pieces that, you know, would, you know, Build to that level, I guess, but it's also something that I think true authenticity is  like being able to be flexible and what I mean by flexible is I think if you're living life, right you're going to change and evolve over time So it's also reasonable to expect that your business is going to change and evolve over time So just because you're saying that  you don't want to work with a certain You particular business or a particular niche at this time in your business.

It doesn't, it doesn't mean that you're being inauthentic. If five years down the road,  you decide that that's something that you want to do. And so I think that that  that's how I've built authenticity into my business and understanding what my values are. In work versus personal life and then being able to go out into the world and find those people that I want to work with. 

Yeah,  so it seems like  the idea is that  you build a business that  feels like it fits with who you are at whatever stage in your life that might be and as you said, that invoked that. Does evolve over time. But you're building a business that works for your life right now, for your personality right now, for your for your particular health needs. You're not building a business how everybody says you should build a business in a way so that it looks like everybody else's  business. Like you're not building,  you're not building the same business that somebody set up in like  60 floor office block would build just because  quote, that's the way you're meant to do it. 

Great. Because I think I lived most of my childhood like, Oh, this is what I was supposed to do.  And  I become an adult and I was like, Oh, but I'm not happy. So  what, like, what did that, what did that bring me? And I think that, you know,  in a similar topic, like  You know, when I was going through high school it was,  I graduated in 2007.

So leading up to the big recession in the United States, and it was a big push of like, essentially, if you didn't go to college, like people thought that you weren't going to make anything with your life and. If I, I'm glad I went to college because I grew up in such a small town that I think that that was my push to get out.

And then I was able to kind of spread my wings. But I think that for a lot of people, like, that's just not,  you know, it's not needed anymore. And it's like, that's not something that, you know, Just because, you know, some big CEO has  an MBA from Harvard or a similar school. And that's how his pathway was leading up to that.

That's just one pathway. I've always been a huge person to advocate for, like create your own pathway. Cause I've taken so many twists and turns and left certain fields or majors. Or sometimes kind of dumb reasons, but like, that's why, like, it felt right to me in a time and that's what led me here. And I think that I truly think that if I was stuck in a nine to five job every day, that I would just be miserable. 

Yes, and I think a lot of people listening would feel the same way. 

Yeah. And then it's like, for me, it's like, okay, so then your quality of work, isn't going to be great. So  I would rather.  Build my own thing that I have  more control over of how I contribute to the world. 

So speaking as a fellow copywriter. If  anybody who's listening has been liberally throwing the word authentic through their messaging, and I know that I've used it in the past

I have to,



like, and there is nothing wrong with, with that word, but I think what I have,  what stuck out to me from this conversation is that  it's a reminder that we should use words,  when we're clear on what they mean rather than just because everybody else is in our niche or our industry or that we're competing against or whatever, everybody else is throwing them around.  So  are there ways that you  would suggest that people show  that they are running  authentic businesses or that they are being authentic in their businesses without maybe using that word? 

sure. And I want to give an example first. So, you know, we talked a little bit about how, like my, my entry way into this was, was, you know, Building websites for therapists and so, you know, everyone, I say that liberally, everyone has trauma, anxiety, depression. So, like, to build a website, to create copy for someone and talk about how they help with anxiety and depression and trauma,  like that, you are just going to be like everyone else.

Thanks.  So the people that I work with,  I really like to dive into more of like, okay, so I understand that, but  like, what populations do you like to work with? Or do you feel more fulfilled in, like that you work with and like what specific things have brought them to this? So sometimes it's burnout, like from work, or sometimes it's like, I was recently talking with someone  She was, she got, I was able to like finally get it out of her that she specifically wanted to work with women with mothers that were returning to the workplace  and just had so much anxiety about it because like they had no idea where to start and they felt like they had had this identity shift after becoming a mother.

As like, she's like, I feel like I'm being too specific. I was like, no, that's exactly what you want. Because like,  no one else is like being that specific. And when you're like talking directly to someone, to a population, that's feeling that exact thing, they're going to come straight to you because they're like, this person gets it. 

 So, I,  I like to get in a similar sense, like very specific, like go, I, I was a kid that sometimes I got in trouble for asking why too many times.  And it's because it's not like I was trying to be annoying. I, I want it to understand fully. So,  for example, for me

A value that I like really care strongly about is that you're not just trying to appeal to everyone that you are trying to get very specific about the type of person you want to work with, but not just the type of person you want to work with the impact that you want to leave.  On the world  and that can look like so many different things.

So then, you know, and a lot of times I get pause when I ask people that, like, what is the impact you want to leave on the world?  And I think a lot of people don't necessarily think that deeply, but then, you know, it's like, take some time, get back to me within a day or two. And then they come back and they have these like deep thoughts that then I'm able to build on, because for me, I feel like.

Part of my.  Maybe that sounds like super woo, but like part of my, like, not just my mission or, or value in copywriting, but just kind of my like mission in the whole world is to the people that I'm coming in contact with to like really understand their intentions and like  how they want to leave the world.

Cause I feel like we should strive to leave the world better than when we first came here. And so that's a huge value for me. 



But like get really deep about these things and keep asking yourself why or how until. You literally can't. And sometimes you would just have to step away from that  and then come back to it. If you're like me, you get all of these answers about life when you're in the middle of a 10 mile run or a 20 mile bike ride.

And so, I,  when I'm faced with these types of questions, I go and do something that I feel like is, Like puts me in my element and then I'm able to be able to create from that. And so I think  if I was talking to another copywriter, especially a newer one, and they're like,  Oh, like how, how do I build authenticity into my brand?

It's like, you're very clear about not only what you want to do, but who you want to serve and, and how you want that to.  Resonate with your people. 

Thank you. I agree with all of that. And that seems like, a really good place to to bring everything to a close. Thank you so much for for coming and chatting to me. If if kind of our listeners want to reach out and come find you, if they want to carry on a conversation, if they want some help working at how they can be. Authentic in their businesses without plastering the word all over their social media posts. Where were they, where can they find you?

You can find me on LinkedIn at just my name, Lauren Esmay, or you can find me at laurenesmay. com. 

It's fabulous. Thank you so much. 

Thank you for having me.