What's it like being a woman in politics, with Lorena Banda

Lorena Banda is a Latina leader in sex positivity, a speaker and an advocate. 
In this episode we talk about her experience as a daughter of immigrants, all the way to working on Senate and Congressional races and launching the P. Files -  her newsletter looking at the intersection between sexuality and politics.  

Lorena and I also talk about the importance of being authentic in politics. And how hard this is for women especially to navigate.

And how opening up positions on campaigns to people from new generations and diverse backgrounds can build more excitement around politics.  

This is the perfect episode to bring you in the middle of the DNC. And I hope that you really enjoy Lorena getting on her soap box. 

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Transcript

I'm recording the intro to this podcast on Wednesday, the 21st of August.  We are in the middle of the democratic national convention. I say we obviously I'm over in the UK, but I'm paying close attention to what's going on.  We have had barnstorming speeches by Jasmine Crockett, AOC, Henry Clinton. We've had a parents there's like by Camaras.  Michelle Obama.  And I will give you one guess what the coverage of those speeches has focused on.  And yes, you're right. 

It is the wardrobe.  

I remember a few years ago, quite a few years ago now. When Theresa May, who was then the prime minister of the UK. , had a meeting with Nicholas sturgeon who was then the leader. Of the Scottish parliament.  

There was a whole bunch of coverage, about two very powerful women meeting to talk about very important things.  But a vast majority of the coverage was about their wardrobe.  There were a huge amount of headlines about the shoes that they chose to wear, , their trousers. Uh, their fashion sense, all that kind of thing.  

No such coverage happens when there are two male leaders meeting to talk about important political things. No such coverage happened about,  what happened about Barack Obama speech. Last night or Doug M Hoff speech.  

And it's really frustrating.  

The fact that women cannot be taken seriously. 

The women have to be so closely monitored in terms of how they present themselves in order to be taken seriously. And that's one of the things that I talk about in today's episode with Lorena Bunda.  Lorena is a Latina leader in sex, positivity issues as speaker. , she's an advocate. And, We talk about her journey from her experience as a daughter of immigrants, all the way to working on Senate and congressional races and launching the P. Files, which has her newsletter looking at the intersection between sexuality and politics.  

Lorena. And I talk about. The importance of being authentic in politics. And how hard they is for women, especially we talk about those double standards. And how she has navigated them and how the women that she has worked with have also navigated them.  

And we talk about how opening up positions on campaigns to people from new generations and diverse backgrounds. Can build more excitement around politics.  This is the perfect episode to bring you in the middle of the DNC. And, , and I hope that you really enjoy, , Lorena getting on her soap box. 

Lorena, thank you so much for coming on the soapbox. I'm really excited to hear what you've got to talk about. 

No. Yes. Thank you so much for having me. I'm super excited to be here. 

For people who haven't come across you online, can you give us a little bit of a rundown on who you are, what you do, and kind of how you got here? 

Of course. So my name is Lorena Banda. I am first generation daughter of immigrants. Um, both of my parents are, um, Two very hardworking Mexican immigrants. , I'm originally from San Antonio, Texas. However, I've been able to work and live in New York City, D. C. And in Miami. Well, now I'm in Miami. Um, I'm also the founder of the P files newsletter, where we talk about all things, sexual pleasure and health within communities of color, um, with the goal of trying to break stigmas and taboos.

And also just redefining what it looks like for women. To run for office. 

Oh, thank you for that. So, um, where, in what kind of places have you worked when you've been moving around the country? 

So my background is an electoral campaign work. I've worked on several many, many state and local races. Um, too many to count.  I've done congressional Senate city council school board.  So that has really allowed me to move around the US and just work wherever I want to honestly. 

That's very cool. And what made you want to do that? 

There's so many things, honestly, but it has to number one, it has to be because of where I grew up and who I am being a daughter of immigrants.  I saw how poorly my family, my parents were treated because of who we were. Um,  and I grew up in a very predominantly immigrant community. So  being in my community, we didn't really experience that, but going outside of it, like going, I live on the South side.

So going to like the North side, it was very different for us. People would judge my parents for their accents. And there are times where I had to stick up for my family. And I'm just new. That wasn't okay. So whenever I went to college, I was like, okay, like, I want to do something that's going to make a difference and just being surrounded by  different individuals growing up.

Um, unfortunately, like, a lot of my friends. Didn't have the same opportunities like me because of different circumstances. And I just don't think that's fair. So that just led me to get my degree in social work. And then I knew that I wanted to create change with my community. So I was like, okay, I need to work with policy because that's where the actual change happens.

So I decided to start working on campaigns because. Um, I wanted to work on Capitol Hill and in order to get to Capitol Hill, you have to know people. So campaigns where it's where it's at. So that's how I started.

That's very cool. That is like my Dream job.  Cool. Okay. So, um when people come on the podcast one of the things that we ask them is what is their soapbox? So the thing that um, they end up talking Until really late in parties about like the thing that they can't shut up about and everybody goes Ah, you're on that soapbox again. So what is your soapbox? 

Well, I have many soapboxes, but my number one is talking about being sexy while being in politics. I felt like a lot of times working in politics or just a lot of like different corporate roles, women have to  What's the proper word that I'm looking for? They have to be less than, and they can't show up 100 percent authentically themselves.

So I'm always talking about what it means to be Latina working in politics while being sexy in politics, because, yes, I work in politics, but I have other, there's many different layers within me, you know, in New York, I was able to do politics. But also, I was also able to do modeling, doing music videos and different  sports brands and fur coats, you know, there's so many layers to me.

And it's like, I feel like as women, we're just. We're just putting a box and I don't think that's okay. 

Yeah, this idea that if you choose to be in politics, then you have to conform to a certain Like way of looking or way of talking



 , whenever they're talked about in the media, it's like their outfits are talked about, their, like their figures are talked about, their makeup's talked about, their shoes, and it's, yeah, it's similar in the, in the UK than it is in the States.   And it feels like the that you, you, have to make the decision. Like, if you want to be taken seriously, so the saying goes with a little like air quotes, then you have to  dress in a way that takes attention away from your figure or your looks or your style.  And that's the only way that you can be taken seriously.  And I feel like  that means that not only does it fit everybody into, like, everybody's wearing pantsuits , or kind of like tying their hair back,  but, , and that, but that kind of like perpetuates this idea that you can only be in politics if you are that kind of person, which then narrows the field of people who can, of women especially, who feel like they can be in politics. 

Yes.

Um, so have you, you've obviously worked with a lot of women in, in politics in the States in various places. Um,  how have they navigated that pressure?  

You know, I can't speak for other women. However, I could definitely speak for myself as a woman of color in politics.  I've honestly learned to say fuck it and that I'm going to always show up 100 percent authentically myself. However, that doesn't mean that I still don't get in my head about it. Just last month, I was headed to a work event.

We had a gala and I was wearing this sexy tight black dress and Red lipstick and I was like, oh my god, is this too sexy for work? Like what am I doing? Like people are gonna think of me in a certain way and I was like, wait, hold on like Lorena who gives a fuck?  Honestly, like if people have a problem  With the way that you're dressed and that's a them problem and they should have dressed better Like nobody told you to wear those shoes.

Nobody told you to wear that dress  My, my choices on how I dress and how I do my makeup doesn't have to do with anything when it comes to my intelligence,  you know, I could be sexy and smart.  I recently just read an article, I believe it was Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio Cortez. And she talks about how women in politics in Washington, DC are always being, are always receiving scrutiny if they're. 

You know,  into fashion, into beauty. And if they are, they're not taking us serious. And I'm just like,  it's so crazy  how  if you care about the way that you look and you dress,  people are not going to take you serious and people are going to think that you're a bimbo. Because you decided to wear heels and a cute little outfit and you decided to wear a bold lipstick and your hair is done like And your nails and like that's just so crazy because there's no correlation my sexiness and my  intelligence again There's no correlation to that.

I could be sexy and smart and in politics. I could be sexy and smart and be a social worker I could be sexy and smart  and Be a lawyer. I could do anything. Again, my sexiness does not correlate with my intelligence. And if I want to go and shake my ass in a music video and model, And work in politics, I'm going to do that as well. 

Um, so again, the way that I've been navigating that is just saying, fuck it. And if people have a problem with the way that I'm showing up, then  take it up with somebody else because it's not going to be me and  step your game up, honestly, step your fashion game up  cause I don't know what to tell you. So, yeah.





 Hmm. Okay, so what is your end, like, what's your dream vision of what it looks like to be a woman in,  in power in politics, in power in kind of the corporate space? What do you want it to be like? 

For me, just not being judged and just being able to show up 100 percent authentically yourself. I feel like whenever we're able to show up 100 percent authentically yourself, um, ourselves, uh, we're able to  produce work. That's like amazing. We're able to. Um, navigate these workplaces, um, and just be ourselves and just create actual change without having to have that, that extra stress around.

Like, is my dress too tight? Is my hair not the proper way? Am I wearing too much makeup? Um, and also again, it just goes back to how women can be sexual and empower. And women can be in power and have other layers to them. Again, like I said, being in, um, being in New York, I was able to explore my sexiness, as you can say, with being in videos, music videos and modeling for different brands.

I remember I had a, he's not my friend anymore, but I had a friend that was like, How do you expect to be, he was like, you can't be in politics and you can't be in music videos because they're not going to take you serious. And I was like, watch me. So, I didn't, I proved him, I proved him wrong. So, yeah, I think it's just  able to show up 100 percent authentically ourselves. 

Yeah, and this idea of layers, I think very often we're, we're told, yeah, that we can only be one thing. 

Mm hmm.

and even, even if you are a really powerful kind of person, you look at like the recent commentary around Beyonce and her deciding to like go into country or any music star that decides to be an actress or like anybody from,  to a lesser extent, anybody from corporate who wants to like move across into politics.

Like everybody's like, you just need to pick a lane and just, you know,  Go with that lane. Otherwise, people will think that you're, I don't know, just playing. 

yeah, exactly. I feel like when we start branching out to different areas in our lives or different like.  Like what she said, Beyonce is like now doing country of a lot of times as women, I feel like we're judges like, oh, she doesn't know what she wants,  but it's like, no, I, I know what I want. But for you to tell me that I have to stay in this one lane, you know, 

No, that's definitely true. Um, because you and I met in, um, in sex tech school,

uh, by any, um, by Nicole's, uh, kind of almost mini accelerator for people who are exploring businesses or brands in the, in the sex tech space.  And one of the most eye opening things about being in that space was the amount of, like, the sheer amount of interests, differing interests that everybody there had. Like the, the five or six different ideas coming at from all angles that they had for different businesses, or like the, the portfolio careers that they pulled together. Um, and there was a real feel of,  like, I don't want to be put in a box and nobody can make me get back in a box. Because I want, because these are all the different things that I want to do and they're all equally as important a part of me. 

Yeah, exactly. And I think it's important to surround yourself with individuals like that, you know, being a part of those communities and joining, joining cohorts where you can look at different perspectives and get new ideas. Because I know with sex tech school, I went into that thinking like, okay, I'm going to make a sex toy brown, a sex toy brand that's only made for  women of color.

And I want to talk about the stigmas and that taboos that come with  exploring our bodies. And then I think I want to say almost a year went past, and then I created the P files.  Um, just because, like, I wanted to do this x ray run, but then I was like, Oh, I don't know if I really want to do this. Um, so yeah, it's just again, like what you said, being able to see everybody's perspective, their ideas, and just trying to create your own lane within multiple lanes already.

Yeah. So talk to me about the P files. 

Yes, so the people's, um, I, so I actually created that after I got laid off.  I got laid off last, Last year in October, um, had I was just in that position for 4 months and they eliminated my entire department, which was super sad because I really enjoyed what I did there, but it's okay. Um, I took the leap of faith.

I feel like a lot of times whenever I was applying for roles and reproductive justice.  kept getting nose. They're like, no, you don't have enough experience. You don't have that experience. You don't have a masters. But as a woman of color, as a Latina, as a daughter of immigrants who grew up in a low income immigrant community,  a lot of these brands, a lot of these organizations are trying to organize and work with communities of color. 

And it's like, how are you to tell me that I don't have the experience when I have the direct experience with working communities because I live this? So I just got tired of people telling me no. So I said, fuck it. Like I'm gonna create my own table. I'm not going to bring my seat to the table. I'm going to create my own table.

Um, and that's how the PFiles came about. Um, my goal is to again, like break sexual pleasure, taboos and stigmas within communities of color. I talk about my experience as a Latina daughter of immigrants and what that looked like for me, um, growing up and just trying to figure out what pleasure meant. Met and look like for me,  and also the politic aspect of it is just talking about politics, talking about  what women, especially women of color face while being in politics, like sexual violence online, um, the revenge porn, um, and also just.

We, we can't talk about reproductive justice without talking about pleasure and we can't talk about reproductive  justice without sex work. So everything's intertwined and that's what I'm trying to create is just  dialogue and conversations around this because I feel like not a lot of people are talking about this. 

Feels like, um, Yeah, with the list of, the list of things that you just mentioned, like the, the Revengeborn and the violence online and like, it feels like a massive uphill struggle, even more so for, for women of colour than it is for, for women in, for women generally in politics. Um, is it a struggle to get people involved from communities like yours? 

Um,  I think it depends. Um, again, like, I'm just starting now I think it's only been 3 months. That I've been doing this, um, and it's a struggle trying to do this and have a full time job. I'm exhausted, but from what I've been, like,  doing,  I haven't had anybody really be like, Oh, no, I can't be a part of this.

I feel like I've only really had 1 person and I understand why, because they're in a big organization and, you know, there's politics within that. You can't say certain things because and again, you're a representation of that organization.  Um, but most recently I connected with somebody and she's like super excited to do the, I have a spotlight series and she's going to be a part of the spotlight series, but she was like, Oh my God, I found my person.

She was like, I'm always talking about being sexy and being in politics and I feel like nobody's talking about that. So she was like, whenever I came across your work, I just got super excited. So for the most part, a lot of people are like, wow, like nobody's talking about this and it's super important. So I've been getting good feedback.

Thank God.

Yeah, no, that's great. And where do you want to see it go? 

I really want this to be big.  I want to be able to work for myself, travel around the world and talk about this with the PFAS. I want to be a public speaker. I want,  I want this to be an international newsletter where we have people from all around the world, or women all around the world, just chiming in and just talking about their experiences when it comes to like pleasure and sexual health and politics. 



And in terms of sort of a lot of the people who listen to this podcast are business owners and if they, they want to talk about, , kind of their social conscience, the different causes that they care about in their brands.  Why do you think that they should be talking about kind of pleasure and sexuality too? 

Yeah, so it goes back to what I said, like, you can't talk about reproductive justice without pleasure. You can't talk about reproductive justice about without sex work, um, with reproductive justice and especially here in the U. S. being a big topic this election season and how it's a big topic this election season.

On the line. A lot of states are already banning abortions. Um, and a lot of, um, voters are going to be able to vote on that the abortion.  Um, so I think that's why it's important because it's a, it's a big issue.  It's an uncomfortable issue to talk about pleasure and  And  help, you know,  but I think it's important to have this these conversations because if we really wanted to change within abortion access, or these different types of legislations that are going out now we, we need to start having these conversations, even though it makes some of us uncomfortable.

Yeah. 

And that, so there's the level of kind of it being slightly uncomfortable, um, especially as like, I'm British and we get uncomfortable about a whole mass of things that everybody else is like, it's fine. 



 So I wonder if you could, um, tell me any stories about what it's like to be a woman in politics in the U. S. 

Yes, it's very hard. There's not many of us, especially Latinas in politics. Uh, so  it's been very difficult for me, especially because I'm, I'm only 26. I turned 27 this week. So Gemini, it's Gemini season. Um, yeah, it's been very difficult, but for the most part, I've had. Great experiences as well. Like I've had great mentors mentors that are women of color.

Um, in New York City, especially my 1st campaign that I worked in New York was not the best experience. Um, I was the only woman of color on that campaign.  Um, yes, so you can already imagine some of the things going on. Um, so, yeah, I was the only 1 of women of color, women of color on that campaign and.  It was peak pandemic.

I had got to New York March 8th, and I believe we were quarantined.  March 11th, March 15th, 2020. So I was only there for a couple days and the pandemic hit and then we got quarantined. So it was, it was a time. Um, but I remember freaking out because I only had a month sublease and my roommate at the time decided to move back to Texas because of the pandemic.

And I was like, well, I got to stay here because I got to work.  And I remember  I wasn't really doing my job like I was working, but I wasn't working as much because I was freaking out on like, Oh, my God, I need to find. A place to live  and I remember my campaign manager coming up to me and she was just like, why are you not doing your job?

Blah, blah. And I was like, I'm so sorry.  Like, this is what's going on. I, I need to find a place within like, a week. My roommate had just told me like, 2 weeks before we had to move out that she's moving back.  And she was like, well, that's not my problem. You need to be working and blah, blah. She treated me horribly.

And then.  I had asked her, we had like a campaign house and I was like, oh, can I move into the campaign house? And she was like, yeah, no, we don't have room, but here are some resources. And she referred me to a woman's shelter. 

Oh, my

And I was like, fuck you. Like, honestly, I was like, but thank God I found a place.

I want to say a couple of days after that, but she referred me to a woman's shelter.  And then a month later,  somebody moved into that campaign house. And in my head, I was like, I thought that campaign house was full.  So yeah, I've had bad experiences like that. And also just I've had candidates where they're just disrespectful.

Um,  yeah, I think it's, it's just a lot to navigate. And again, it's just. I dress a certain way. I look a certain way. So I feel like a lot of people see me and they're like, Oh, what are you doing? Are you an organizer? This just happened to me. They're like, Oh, what do you do here? Are you an organizer? I'm like, no, I'm senior X, Y, Z and they're like, Oh,  and it's like, why would you just assume that I was, you know,  so I've had  a lot of downs, but I've also had a lot of ups again.

I feel like. Working in campaigns, especially in New York, it allowed me to see a side of New York that a lot of people don't experience, like, going to Canarsie, Brooklyn, working with individuals or constituents within that area, uh, working in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn and Queens, you know, there's a lot of. I feel like I saw the real New York.

So that's why I love doing campaigns too, because I get exposed to a lot of different  environments.

Yeah.  That must be incredibly frustrating though, to constantly be underestimated because of, yeah, just because of the way you look or because of, because of other people's expectations of how you should look.

Yes, exactly. But it's okay. Like, we're doing our thing where we're making strides. Um, it's not an easy.  It's not an easy career.  But I feel like if you know who you are, you have a purpose and you have a drive, you can make big, big, like moves. 

That's cool. Are there more, are there like a growing number of Latina women getting into politics and organizing and campaigning, or is it still like fairly?

Yeah, I think it's still, I think it's still kind of stagnant. I feel like  maybe it's getting a little bit better, but a lot of us don't.  Know that we can do this, like, be a part of campaigns. Like, for example, me, I didn't know I could work on campaigns until  I talked to my friends that worked for a city council office or like, oh, volunteer on campaigns and it's like, oh, I didn't even know I could do that as a career.

I feel like a lot of us. And I talk about this on LinkedIn a lot, like women of color  are not exposed to these types  of jobs or people of color, just in general, you know, a lot of us don't know that we can be campaign managers, field directors, field organizers. And then even being a woman of color in this space. 

I've always had the experience where I'm always offered.  The lowest paid position,  and it's like we never, we never have the opportunity to be campaign managers or field directors because we don't have the experience. 

Do you think that contributes to campaigns being like consistently being run in the same kind of way because new ideas and new approaches just don't get through? 

Yeah, I feel I feel like there's that plays a part of it. Um, a lot of times these campaigns, there's just like the never ending cycle of campaigns. I've always been ran exactly how they have been running and I don't think it's working in this new generation and we need to start doing a little bit something different.

But again, it's about  how do we navigate that when we still have the older generation in these types of spaces? And then you have this new generation coming in and trying to rework that. 

And part of it I would assume from like what we've talked about and from your newsletter is that  you think that in order to attract that new generation we need a different level of authenticity in our in our candidates like it needs to be.  Yeah, less cookie cutter like cardboard cutout thing and more like showing up as a whole person. 

Yeah, no, exactly. And it's about also just  letting people know or letting I'm going to specifically talk, um, of people of color and students of color that are just graduating from college that hey, you can do this job.  And it's about just getting more women of color, men of color to run for office as well. 

Yeah, that makes sense.   If you're a woman, , if you're a woman of color,  if you want to start looking into putting your head above the parapet, I guess, getting involved in campaigns or even running for office, , you mentioned some of the struggles earlier, , in terms of like abuse online or, , or even not being taken seriously.  What are some ways that, , either that people can navigate that or maybe some ways that you've seen women navigate that really well? 



I believe it's about.  Finding your people that are going to support you. Like, I always joke how campaign managers and candidates are best friends. Like, that's your honorary best friend. Your campaign manager, if you're a candidate, that is your best friend until the primary, general election, whatever it may be.

It's about finding those people that can help you navigate those situations and also organizations that can help you navigate, um, that abuse online or whatever you may experience as a woman of color getting into office.  It's also about just knowing who you are  as a candidate and also as a person.  And  sometimes 9 out of 10 times, you just have to ignore people and just say, fuck, fuck what you say.

Like, I'm going to do me  and just keep going. Despite what people are saying, what you're experiencing, but also like, going to therapy during you're running like you're you're. Your candidacy, because that's going to help a lot. I'm super big on mental health.  You shouldn't try to navigate different  experiences on your own because sometimes we just don't know how to navigate that. 

Yes, I'm all for therapy for everybody, especially people who are going through those kind of stressful, stressful situations. Oh, okay. Um, so if people want to, um, want to subscribe to the PFiles, if they, if they want to come and find you , where's the best way to the best place to go? 

I'm everywhere. So I'm on LinkedIn.  My, my LinkedIn just search up Lorena Blanda and it should say like the PFOS founder. Um, also I'm on Instagram at love me Lorena and we also have an Instagram for the newsletter. It's called at the P files newsletter, . I'm on tick tock. It's at Lorena underscore the P files. So I'm everywhere. Um,

Yeah. 

just yeah, I'm everywhere. Just DM me. And then there's links to where you can subscribe to the newsletter as well on those profiles.

Cool. And you mentioned spotlights and things. Um, are you looking for any particular, um, people or organizations to profile? 

Yes, so I spotlight, um, women that work in the sexual wellness, sex tech, um,  reproductive justice, politics, political space. So if you know anybody, or if you are someone who works in those spaces, please DM me. I'm always looking to highlight more individuals.

That's cool. And it, yeah, the newsletter is always a great read. It's always incredibly inspiring and interesting. So, yeah,

everybody should go and check that out. 



 So I will put all of those, um, all of those links, uh, in the show notes. Um, if you are, yeah, if you're a LinkedIn person or if you're a TikTok person, I still haven't gotten on TikTok yet, but it makes me feel very old.

Um,  

No, it's okay. 

um, but yeah, I think that, um,  watching TikTok in this election kind of season, uh, both, both in the UK and the US is going to be really interesting because, um, it's,  it's, it's a whole different, it feels like a whole different relationship between like the, the candidates or the like the MPs and their audience.

So I think it's,  there are going to be people who grab it and use it really well and people who don't. 

Yeah, no, exactly. Exactly.

Cool, so yeah, I'll pop all those in the show notes so you can go and find Lorena and you can subscribe to the Peafowls, um, and all that kind of jazz. But thank you so much for coming to talk to me, it was, um, as always, fascinating, um, yeah, and I'm really excited to see how the Peafowls grows.

Yes. Thank you so much, Peter. It was great being here.