WEBVTT 00:00:05.781 --> 00:00:07.868 Lauren, i appreciate you sharing your story. 00:00:07.868 --> 00:00:14.947 There's a longer version of that that's gonna be coming out in the days to come on Facebook and YouTube, so keep an eye out for that. 00:00:14.947 --> 00:00:30.789 But you know, lauren's an incredible example of someone who's been through a lot of moments in life that would have been easy to give up on God, but something about Jesus keeps drawing her back in And the way she and Jeff are leading their family. 00:00:30.789 --> 00:00:43.753 We've had the opportunity over the last eight months to see their two oldest children give their lives to Christ to be baptized Just an incredible example of faithfulness, even in the fires and the trials of life. 00:00:43.753 --> 00:00:49.109 So grateful Thank you for sharing your story today, and you know that's our prayer for all of us. 00:00:49.109 --> 00:00:53.379 I think that one we'd realize that we're all works in progress right. 00:00:53.479 --> 00:01:06.251 Whether it's anxiety or anger or sadness or whatever the trial that we face is, we're all on a journey of trying to become more like Jesus, and none of us have arrived yet. 00:01:06.251 --> 00:01:23.667 We all need the grace of God to work in us and to transform us from the inside out, and that's our prayer for our graduates as well, because they're about to enter a world that you know where it is easy, as we just sang, to be formed by feelings, to let go of what is true. 00:01:23.667 --> 00:01:43.333 And our prayer is that, in the midst of the trial, in the midst of the fire, that we wouldn't be formed by what we feel or what the world says, but that we would let the truth of God's word be the anchor for our lives, and so that, through the trial, through the fire, we actually grow and flourish and thrive. 00:01:43.333 --> 00:01:46.868 Today we are going to talk a little bit about anger. 00:01:46.868 --> 00:01:53.751 Maybe that's something that you struggle with, maybe it's not, but I think wherever you're at today, it's going to encourage you. 00:01:53.751 --> 00:01:57.650 I just want to say, too, i'm really honored to be part of what God's doing here. 00:01:57.650 --> 00:02:03.298 Isn't it amazing that we get to show up on Sunday and worship Jesus together and see? 00:02:03.298 --> 00:02:06.910 you know, last week we were able to dedicate a baby to the Lord. 00:02:06.910 --> 00:02:09.347 Parents love Jesus and serve Jesus. 00:02:09.347 --> 00:02:10.947 Today we're honoring graduates. 00:02:10.947 --> 00:02:13.348 Next week we get to celebrate six baptisms. 00:02:13.400 --> 00:02:16.830 Like it's amazing to be part of what God is doing here. 00:02:16.830 --> 00:02:23.329 I'm grateful for you, grateful for the chance to serve here, And let's, let's never, let's never take this for granted. 00:02:23.329 --> 00:02:24.766 Let's never take this for granted. 00:02:24.766 --> 00:02:27.949 So let's pray and then we're going to jump into the scriptures this morning. 00:02:27.949 --> 00:02:29.402 Father, thank you. 00:02:29.402 --> 00:02:31.725 Thank you for the chance to be together. 00:02:31.725 --> 00:02:34.765 Thank you for the chance to know that I'm God. 00:02:34.765 --> 00:02:38.512 You love us at our worst and you love us the same at our best. 00:02:38.512 --> 00:02:44.852 Father, your love for us is not rooted in us, but it's entirely rooted in who you are. 00:02:44.852 --> 00:02:52.027 God, you have chosen to make us the object of your affection And, father, we're so grateful for that. 00:02:52.027 --> 00:02:56.468 Father, may your love today compel us to change. 00:02:56.468 --> 00:03:02.742 May it lead us to a place of faith and repentance in Jesus' name Amen. 00:03:03.599 --> 00:03:25.472 So my family and I, we were in the upstate a couple of weeks ago and we had like a little what we call a get together down here, you know, and it was my family and Tara's family at my grandparents' house in Liberty, and sometime after dinner Judah, our three year old, and now Judah's cousin Kenley, who's also three, began to play a game of hide and seek. 00:03:25.472 --> 00:03:32.151 But they somehow did not communicate who was supposed to be finding them. 00:03:32.151 --> 00:03:41.074 And I said I'm not 100% sure how this unfolded and developed, but but they thought my grandma was going to come find them. 00:03:41.074 --> 00:03:47.131 And so they go off and hide And a few minutes later it's like has anybody seen Judah or Kenley? 00:03:47.131 --> 00:03:50.590 Because those are the people in the room and in the house tonight. 00:03:50.590 --> 00:03:55.451 Those are the two that probably don't want disappearing for long periods of time. 00:03:55.451 --> 00:04:05.830 And eventually they come around the corner and they're stomping down the hallway and they're frowning and they walk right up to my grandma And they stand in front of her and literally like in unison together. 00:04:05.830 --> 00:04:10.030 They look at my grandma and they say we're so angry. 00:04:10.030 --> 00:04:12.986 And my grandma's like why? 00:04:12.986 --> 00:04:18.190 And then they begin to explain we're playing hide and seek and nobody's finding us. 00:04:18.190 --> 00:04:22.888 And you know which, in the moment, you know, my grandma's trying not to laugh. 00:04:22.888 --> 00:04:24.331 She's like I'm so sorry, i didn't know. 00:04:24.331 --> 00:04:27.149 Nobody knew that you were hiding and wanted to be found. 00:04:27.219 --> 00:04:30.808 But but that phrase we're so angry, right? 00:04:30.808 --> 00:04:39.953 I feel like, if people are being honest, there are a lot of people that could walk around and say that today and it would be true of their lives. 00:04:39.953 --> 00:04:47.330 You know, maybe, maybe you've been to the DMV lately That just, that just is a blanket application to that environment. 00:04:47.330 --> 00:04:56.634 Or maybe you've been at a restaurant and you've watched the interactions between people who are waiting for their food and the way they're talking to the wait staff. 00:04:56.634 --> 00:05:00.507 Or maybe you work in customer service and so you've been on the receiving end. 00:05:00.507 --> 00:05:11.353 But it just seems like we're so angry And there have been so many studies done over the last couple of years to try to figure out like what that is, the underlying cause there. 00:05:11.459 --> 00:05:15.849 But the reality is like our world is just full of anger. 00:05:15.849 --> 00:05:21.010 Maybe our lives sometimes are full of anger as well. 00:05:21.010 --> 00:05:25.930 And and here's the thing unchecked anger will wreak havoc on your life. 00:05:25.930 --> 00:05:30.490 It'll wreak havoc in your relationships with others, with your family. 00:05:30.490 --> 00:05:32.947 It'll wreak havoc in your career, at work. 00:05:32.947 --> 00:05:36.029 It'll actually wreak havoc on your body. 00:05:36.029 --> 00:05:41.872 There's science behind this that says it's bad for your blood pressure to be in this constant state of anger. 00:05:41.872 --> 00:05:43.827 It increases anxiety levels. 00:05:43.827 --> 00:05:46.870 It literally changes the physiology of your heart. 00:05:46.870 --> 00:05:48.743 It affects the arteries, the artery. 00:05:48.743 --> 00:05:52.712 The arteries, the arteries makes you more likely to experience a heart attack. 00:05:52.712 --> 00:05:52.879 Like. 00:05:52.879 --> 00:06:02.729 There's so many effects that that anger has on our lives, not not to mention our own internal sense of peace. 00:06:02.729 --> 00:06:06.887 You're angry all the time Like where's, where's the peace there? 00:06:06.887 --> 00:06:08.847 There is no peace there. 00:06:08.919 --> 00:06:13.072 So today, today, i want to take a couple of minutes and really answer two questions. 00:06:13.072 --> 00:06:16.088 One what does the Bible say about anger? 00:06:16.088 --> 00:06:16.800 What are. 00:06:16.800 --> 00:06:19.368 The scriptures teach us about anger. 00:06:19.368 --> 00:06:23.147 And then number two when we get angry, because we will get angry. 00:06:23.147 --> 00:06:25.472 What do we do with that anger? 00:06:25.472 --> 00:06:27.243 So what does the Bible say? 00:06:27.243 --> 00:06:29.550 and then, what do we do when we're angry? 00:06:29.550 --> 00:06:31.200 Y'all ready, let's go. 00:06:32.179 --> 00:06:34.906 Scriptures Proverbs 15, 18,. 00:06:34.906 --> 00:06:37.572 We're going to look at two proverbs in the passage in Matthew. 00:06:37.572 --> 00:06:52.941 Proverbs 15, 18 says this a hot, tempered man or woman stirs up strife, but he or she who is slow to anger quiet contention And then flip a page over. 00:06:52.941 --> 00:07:04.590 Proverbs 16, 32, whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, then he who takes a city. 00:07:04.590 --> 00:07:10.844 Now, when you read Proverbs, the Proverbs it's not a book of promises, it's a book of principles. 00:07:10.844 --> 00:07:17.967 You know, sometimes we can read Proverbs and go well, if I do a, then B is what should follow, and that's sometimes how it works. 00:07:17.967 --> 00:07:18.901 It's not all the time it's. 00:07:18.901 --> 00:07:21.850 It's it's principles, not promises. 00:07:21.850 --> 00:07:25.469 And but this in Matthew five we're going to read next. 00:07:25.699 --> 00:07:30.730 This is the word of Jesus Sermon on the Mount, teaching it to his disciples. 00:07:30.730 --> 00:07:34.608 And Jesus has this to say about anger. 00:07:34.608 --> 00:07:40.992 You've heard that it was said to those of old Matthew, chapter five, beginning in verse 21. 00:07:40.992 --> 00:07:43.887 You've heard that it was said to those of old you shall not murder. 00:07:43.887 --> 00:07:47.548 Whoever murders will be liable to judgment. 00:07:47.548 --> 00:07:50.206 Everybody says amen to that. 00:07:50.206 --> 00:07:52.323 That's Old Testament, leviticus. 00:07:52.323 --> 00:07:54.267 You know, that's 10 commandments. 00:07:54.267 --> 00:07:59.664 Moses, the mountain, exodus, right, but I say Jesus says you've heard it said. 00:07:59.664 --> 00:08:05.413 But I say that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment. 00:08:05.413 --> 00:08:08.829 Whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council. 00:08:08.829 --> 00:08:12.971 Whoever says you fool will be liable to the hell of fire. 00:08:12.971 --> 00:08:27.146 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and they remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go first be reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift. 00:08:27.146 --> 00:08:37.027 Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you're going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge and the judge to the guard and you be put in prison. 00:08:37.027 --> 00:08:43.928 Truly, i say to you, you will never get out until you've paid the last penny. 00:08:43.928 --> 00:08:47.819 So just a couple of thoughts from those scriptures really quickly this morning. 00:08:47.899 --> 00:08:50.649 Number one anger increases exponentially. 00:08:50.649 --> 00:08:52.625 But patience brings peace. 00:08:52.625 --> 00:08:55.026 That's Proverbs 15. 00:08:55.026 --> 00:08:57.087 Anger increases exponentially. 00:08:57.087 --> 00:08:59.746 A hot tempered man stirs up strife. 00:08:59.746 --> 00:09:06.567 Have you ever been in a situation where somebody gets mad and next thing you know, it's like the roof has just been blown off the building. 00:09:06.567 --> 00:09:08.163 And what happens? 00:09:08.163 --> 00:09:09.925 Anger creates more anger. 00:09:09.925 --> 00:09:19.225 If you have kids, you've seen that One person gets mad and the next thing you know things are flying all over the house And it's like what just happened to my beautiful, sweet little babies. 00:09:19.225 --> 00:09:22.447 A hot tempered man stirs up strife. 00:09:22.447 --> 00:09:24.487 Anger increases exponentially. 00:09:24.487 --> 00:09:27.370 But patience can bring peace. 00:09:27.370 --> 00:09:30.168 He who is slow to anger quiet's contention. 00:09:30.168 --> 00:09:34.428 Another place in the Proverbs that says that a gentle word turns away wrath. 00:09:34.428 --> 00:09:44.245 So when you meet someone's anger with a gentle word, with kindness, it has the ability to throw up a wall and be like wait a minute, what just happened? 00:09:44.245 --> 00:09:46.064 It's a little bit. 00:09:46.064 --> 00:09:48.706 It throws people off when they expect anger in return. 00:09:48.706 --> 00:09:53.106 But when you speak kindness back, it's like wait, something's just been diffused. 00:09:53.106 --> 00:09:55.587 It's like the plugs been pulled on the anger. 00:09:55.587 --> 00:09:59.088 Patience has the potential to bring peace. 00:09:59.199 --> 00:10:06.005 Second thought from the scripture second scripture we read it's better to have mastery over your anger than it is to possess great strength. 00:10:06.005 --> 00:10:12.307 He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, he who can control himself. 00:10:12.307 --> 00:10:18.480 It's better to be self-controlled than to have the power to take a city Like. 00:10:18.480 --> 00:10:27.026 What an incredible statement It's better to have the power to control yourself than it is to have the power to conquer your enemies. 00:10:27.026 --> 00:10:34.846 So Proverbs says it's better to have mastery over your anger than it is to possess great strength. 00:10:34.846 --> 00:10:37.168 And then Jesus and Matthew five. 00:10:37.168 --> 00:10:42.009 We could spend the rest of the day breaking down Matthew five, those six verses there. 00:10:42.009 --> 00:10:48.009 But let's summarize it to say it like this Externalized anger is a symptom of an internal problem. 00:10:49.848 --> 00:10:51.419 You've got anger against someone in your life. 00:10:51.419 --> 00:10:58.891 It's going to put you internally in a place where it's really hard to worship in purity and spirit and in truth. 00:10:58.891 --> 00:11:01.732 Why? 00:11:01.732 --> 00:11:10.471 Because God loves you and God loves the person you're angry at too, And it's hard to worship God when you're mad at someone God loves. 00:11:10.471 --> 00:11:14.254 So Jesus's words, man, like that's an incredible challenge, is it not? 00:11:14.254 --> 00:11:32.227 When you come before God to offer you God, to offer your gift, to offer your sacrifice of praise, and there's something in you that says, hey, i got tension between me and someone else in my life, jesus is like pause your worship for a moment and be reconciled first to your brother. 00:11:32.227 --> 00:11:35.947 Wow, now some of y'all are like wait a minute. 00:11:36.019 --> 00:11:41.625 But that's not all the Bible says about anger, because there's another verse in the Bible that says be angry and do not sin. 00:11:41.625 --> 00:11:43.062 And you're right. 00:11:43.062 --> 00:11:43.824 It does say that. 00:11:43.824 --> 00:11:48.967 And some of you are thinking, and even God gets angry There's such thing as righteous anger. 00:11:48.967 --> 00:11:58.146 Jesus flipped tables and he used a whip and drove out the people selling the pigeons and whatever in the temple, like there's a place for righteous anger. 00:11:58.146 --> 00:12:00.846 And to that I would say two things. 00:12:00.846 --> 00:12:02.365 One you're right, it's in there. 00:12:02.365 --> 00:12:23.668 But the second thing I think we need to realize is, when it comes to anger is, i'm not God and you're not Jesus, and I say that to say this I would say that the majority of the time our anger is not righteous anger, and I'm gonna back that up here in just a second. 00:12:24.480 --> 00:12:28.543 The verse that I mentioned just a moment ago, ephesians 4, 26,. 00:12:28.543 --> 00:12:30.669 Be angry, paul says, and do not sin. 00:12:30.669 --> 00:12:37.566 He's quoting Psalm four, verse four, and Paul doesn't finish his quote. 00:12:37.566 --> 00:12:39.025 We're gonna see why in just a second. 00:12:39.025 --> 00:12:52.872 But the rest of that verse in Psalm four, verse four, the Psalmist says be angry, do not sin, rather ponder in your hearts on your bed and be silent. 00:12:52.872 --> 00:13:11.326 So in your anger, the Psalmist says hey, check it in your heart, hang out in your room by yourself for a minute and watch your mouth when you're angry, because sometimes and this is scientifically proven too when you get angry you get forgetful and you say things you don't mean. 00:13:12.980 --> 00:13:20.408 And so then Paul in Ephesians, chapter four, when he quotes Psalm four this is the rest of the context in that verse. 00:13:20.408 --> 00:13:30.408 Paul says this be angry, do not sin, do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no opportunity to the devil. 00:13:30.408 --> 00:13:45.129 So here's what Paul's saying Make sure that, even if your anger is righteous anger, that it's short-lived, deal with it, control it and move past it. 00:13:45.129 --> 00:13:48.827 Because if you don't, what Paul is saying is that your anger will control you. 00:13:48.827 --> 00:13:58.865 If you don't control your anger, your anger will control you, and the enemy will actually use your anger as an access point, a foothold in your life. 00:13:58.865 --> 00:14:04.562 Have you ever seen that happen Like you started out and you felt like your anger was righteous. 00:14:04.562 --> 00:14:05.865 The next thing you knew you were just mad. 00:14:05.865 --> 00:14:10.081 You're like I'm just mad at everything now, like some. 00:14:10.081 --> 00:14:12.106 That that's what Paul is saying. 00:14:12.106 --> 00:14:16.000 So what is then righteous anger? 00:14:16.040 --> 00:14:21.018 If there is a type of anger that is righteous, how do we define righteous anger? 00:14:21.018 --> 00:14:32.326 Here's the definition Righteous anger is directed towards sin and injustice that harms people and dishonors God, that's righteous anger. 00:14:32.326 --> 00:14:36.117 When God gets mad, god gets mad at sin. 00:14:36.117 --> 00:14:42.106 He gets mad when his goodness is marred by people. 00:14:42.106 --> 00:14:50.367 He gets mad when he is dishonored, because God knows that anything that dishonors him harms us. 00:14:50.367 --> 00:14:56.560 And so when God is angry, in the scriptures, it's a righteous anger. 00:14:56.560 --> 00:15:06.709 It comes from his holiness, it's guarded by his righteousness And ultimately it's actually a product of his love for humanity. 00:15:06.709 --> 00:15:21.967 And that's important because if in our anger, if our anger is ever directed towards a person and not the sin or the injustice that harms the people, we got a problem. 00:15:23.475 --> 00:15:35.072 Because God loves people, even people who are far from him, even people who we would look at and say they are holding to an ideology or a way of life that is harmful and dangerous. 00:15:35.072 --> 00:15:36.235 They are loved by God. 00:15:36.235 --> 00:15:38.884 And guys, that's hard. 00:15:38.884 --> 00:15:40.428 There's some tension there, is it not? 00:15:40.428 --> 00:15:46.895 It'd be a whole lot easier just to write people off and not love them and be angry at them and their way of life and what they're doing. 00:15:46.895 --> 00:15:48.441 We can't go there. 00:15:48.441 --> 00:15:58.288 We can be angry at sin and injustice that dishonors God and harms people, but the second, our anger, moves towards people themselves. 00:15:59.711 --> 00:16:02.256 We've moved out of the unrighteous anger category. 00:16:02.256 --> 00:16:22.768 In fact, in the New Testament we're taught to pray for our enemies, to feed them, to clothe them, to bless them in the name of God, to overcome evil with good, and the Scripture even goes so far as to say we're to love those who hate us. 00:16:22.768 --> 00:16:25.937 We want to write down a couple of Scriptures to look at this week. 00:16:25.937 --> 00:16:34.850 Write down 1 Peter, 3, 9 and Romans 12, 14, matthew, 5, 43 through 45. 00:16:34.850 --> 00:16:37.435 Powerful. 00:16:37.435 --> 00:16:42.625 The world doesn't think this way. 00:16:42.625 --> 00:16:47.134 I don't have to say much more than that. 00:16:47.134 --> 00:16:58.120 But, like we all realize, we live in a world where if somebody disagrees with you, they are your enemy, they are on the opposite team, they are fighting against you. 00:16:58.120 --> 00:17:10.075 But yet we serve a God who, when we were dead in our sin, when we were before we were even on the journey with Jesus, he looked at us with love and sin is son. 00:17:10.075 --> 00:17:18.311 So let's talk about unrighteous anger for a moment Again. 00:17:18.351 --> 00:17:20.716 I think most of our anger falls in this category. 00:17:20.716 --> 00:17:26.209 It's why, over and over in the New Testament, we're told to to put anger and malice far away. 00:17:26.209 --> 00:17:33.476 We're told to lift our hands in worship without a without a moment or a fraction of anger in our hearts. 00:17:33.476 --> 00:17:37.162 James 1, 19 and 20 says this. 00:17:37.162 --> 00:17:57.228 Know this, my beloved brothers, let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger, for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God, for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. 00:17:57.228 --> 00:18:07.479 The anger of man we could say it maybe, like this does not lead to the fruit of the spirit that Chris was teaching us about earlier this morning in Galatians, chapter five. 00:18:07.479 --> 00:18:11.527 So let me sum it up. 00:18:11.527 --> 00:18:24.546 Let me sum it up The word anger, angry, either of those, appears a total of 22 times in the New Testament, in the ESV translation 22 times And one time. 00:18:25.428 --> 00:18:28.377 One time in the New Testament we're told to be angry and not sin. 00:18:28.377 --> 00:18:33.070 The rest of those times that anger, angry is mentioned, it's either. 00:18:33.070 --> 00:18:38.588 It's either in revelation, a couple of times it's applied to God when he comes back to judge. 00:18:38.588 --> 00:18:43.742 The rest of the time, we're being told, exhorted to put anger far away. 00:18:43.742 --> 00:18:53.019 On the other hand, the word love appears in the New Testament 279 times. 00:18:53.019 --> 00:18:58.668 What is it that should mark our lives as followers of Jesus? 00:18:58.668 --> 00:19:05.363 If I got to choose between love or anger, i'm going to go with love. 00:19:05.363 --> 00:19:09.390 I'm going to choose the way of love. 00:19:09.390 --> 00:19:13.082 I'm going to choose the way of love. 00:19:13.082 --> 00:19:15.871 So what does that leave us? 00:19:16.272 --> 00:19:20.460 Second question what do we do when we feel anger? 00:19:20.460 --> 00:19:24.026 How do we process through that? 00:19:24.026 --> 00:19:25.229 How do we make it through? 00:19:25.229 --> 00:19:29.525 How do we, how do we feel what we feel and yet choose faith? 00:19:29.525 --> 00:19:40.861 Or how do we, if it's righteous anger, how do we deal with it in a way that's helpful and constructive and healthy and doesn't give the enemy the foothold into our lives and our spirit? 00:19:40.861 --> 00:19:43.147 Four quick ideas. 00:19:43.207 --> 00:19:49.947 Number one take a deep breath, some of the best parenting advice I have ever gotten. 00:19:49.947 --> 00:19:51.592 Just take a deep breath. 00:19:51.592 --> 00:19:54.622 You know where I got it from Daniel Tiger. 00:19:54.622 --> 00:19:58.374 Daniel Tiger Yeah, some of y'all don't know what that is. 00:19:58.374 --> 00:20:00.459 He's like the cartoon version of Mr Rogers. 00:20:00.459 --> 00:20:03.184 Daniel Tiger sings a song. 00:20:03.184 --> 00:20:07.342 When you're feeling frustrated, take a deep breath and count to 10. 00:20:07.342 --> 00:20:10.371 It's great, daniel Tiger. 00:20:10.371 --> 00:20:16.688 When you're feeling frustrated, when the anger starts to well up, take a deep breath and count to 10. 00:20:16.688 --> 00:20:26.697 Well, daniel Tiger I don't know if Daniel Tiger knows or doesn't know When we take a deep breath, we're actually being like God. 00:20:28.119 --> 00:20:30.182 We are, and here's what I mean. 00:20:30.182 --> 00:20:40.045 So in Proverbs 15, when scripture says that that hot temperament stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger, quiet contention. 00:20:40.045 --> 00:20:45.886 That phrase slow to anger in the Hebrew is arek apayin. 00:20:45.886 --> 00:20:48.173 Okay, you're gonna get a little Hebrew today. 00:20:48.173 --> 00:20:49.557 Arek apayin, can you say that? 00:20:49.557 --> 00:20:55.598 this morning, fantastic, brilliant People will be like they're speaking in tongues over at the Baptist church. 00:20:55.598 --> 00:20:56.119 I don't know. 00:20:56.119 --> 00:21:01.675 It literally translates to long of nostril. 00:21:01.675 --> 00:21:03.569 It does Long of nostril. 00:21:03.721 --> 00:21:08.355 Slow to anger in Hebrew literally translates to long of nostril. 00:21:08.355 --> 00:21:15.634 And that phrase actually comes from Exodus 34, 7, where God is talking to Moses. 00:21:15.634 --> 00:21:19.487 Moses says God, i want to see you, i want to know who you are. 00:21:19.487 --> 00:21:20.490 God's like Moses. 00:21:20.490 --> 00:21:21.033 You can't. 00:21:21.033 --> 00:21:21.595 You're sinful, i'm holy. 00:21:21.595 --> 00:21:22.728 That wouldn't be good for you. 00:21:22.728 --> 00:21:28.432 But here's what we're gonna do I'm gonna put you in the rock, i'm gonna hide you there, i'm gonna pass by. 00:21:28.432 --> 00:21:29.473 You're gonna see my glory. 00:21:29.473 --> 00:21:30.555 And so that happens. 00:21:30.555 --> 00:21:41.242 And when God passes by Moses, he proclaims his name to Moses And he says to Moses I'm Yahweh, yahweh, a God. 00:21:41.242 --> 00:21:42.605 And he goes through this list. 00:21:42.605 --> 00:21:50.670 But in this list of his name, who he is, he uses the phrase slow to anger, literally long of nostril. 00:21:50.730 --> 00:21:51.453 Now what is God talking about? 00:21:51.453 --> 00:21:52.074 What does that mean? 00:21:52.074 --> 00:21:54.884 When you take a deep breath, what happens? 00:21:54.884 --> 00:21:57.093 What do you, what's your nose? 00:21:57.093 --> 00:21:57.535 do Everybody do that. 00:21:57.535 --> 00:21:58.459 Everybody do that? 00:21:58.459 --> 00:22:00.990 Just, deep, deep breath this morning, what happens to your nose? 00:22:00.990 --> 00:22:05.662 It flares, it flares, it expands, your nostrils lengthen. 00:22:07.806 --> 00:22:13.400 What God tells Moses in Exodus 34 is that God does get mad. 00:22:13.400 --> 00:22:15.905 There is righteous anger in God. 00:22:15.905 --> 00:22:17.951 It comes from his holiness, as we said earlier. 00:22:17.951 --> 00:22:22.675 But God takes a deep breath when he deals with us. 00:22:22.675 --> 00:22:24.589 Isn't that good news? 00:22:24.589 --> 00:22:29.113 He's not looking at us being like, oh man, they did it again. 00:22:29.113 --> 00:22:32.375 He's not flying off the handle in anger at us. 00:22:32.375 --> 00:22:35.169 He takes a deep breath. 00:22:35.169 --> 00:22:38.685 He's slow to anger. 00:22:38.685 --> 00:22:44.330 He's merciful, he's gracious, he's kind, he's patient with us. 00:22:44.330 --> 00:22:46.169 That's good news. 00:22:47.186 --> 00:22:52.505 I want to be more like God, as a dad, as a husband, as a friend, as an employee. 00:22:52.505 --> 00:23:02.774 I want to be that kind of person that when I have every reason I feel to get mad, my first response is deep breath. 00:23:02.774 --> 00:23:05.229 Doesn't that just bring? 00:23:05.229 --> 00:23:13.035 it's almost like we've been designed by an almighty creator, god, who knows physiologically how all this works. 00:23:13.035 --> 00:23:14.211 Like you, take a deep breath. 00:23:14.211 --> 00:23:16.953 It's just like it just feels peaceful. 00:23:16.953 --> 00:23:19.932 And that's what God does. 00:23:19.932 --> 00:23:25.125 Exodus 34 goes on and God says that he does get angry. 00:23:25.125 --> 00:23:32.929 He punishes the sins to the third and fourth generation, sins of the fathers to the third and the fourth generations And it's like well, that sounds harsh. 00:23:32.929 --> 00:23:42.408 But it also says that God keeps steadfast love to the thousandth generation, because he's slow to anger. 00:23:43.251 --> 00:23:43.994 Long of nostril. 00:23:43.994 --> 00:23:45.509 What did you learn at church today? 00:23:45.509 --> 00:23:48.271 Dinner conversation on the table God's long of nostril. 00:23:48.271 --> 00:23:48.772 What? 00:23:48.772 --> 00:23:49.685 Where do you go to church? 00:23:49.685 --> 00:23:50.930 We don't want to go there, right? 00:23:50.930 --> 00:23:52.228 Take a deep breath. 00:23:52.228 --> 00:23:53.473 Take a deep breath. 00:23:53.805 --> 00:23:54.227 Second thing. 00:23:54.227 --> 00:23:56.694 Second thing get below the surface. 00:23:56.694 --> 00:24:01.031 When you pause and you take a deep breath, you breathe in a little peace. 00:24:01.031 --> 00:24:05.813 You remember that God is patient with you, so you can be patient with the person you're angry at. 00:24:05.813 --> 00:24:08.504 Second step is to go okay. 00:24:08.504 --> 00:24:12.176 I need to dig in a little bit here. 00:24:12.245 --> 00:24:16.877 Psychologists tell us that anger is not a primary response. 00:24:16.877 --> 00:24:18.080 It's not a primary emotion. 00:24:18.080 --> 00:24:19.912 It's what's called a secondary emotion. 00:24:19.912 --> 00:24:25.265 In other words, there's always something under the surface. 00:24:25.265 --> 00:24:27.339 I came across this graphic this week. 00:24:27.339 --> 00:24:28.125 I want to show this to you. 00:24:28.125 --> 00:24:30.353 It's called the anger iceberg. 00:24:30.353 --> 00:24:45.935 What you see poking above the water may be anger, but below the surface there's always something else there, and so the work that you and I need to do when we feel the anger rising up in us is go okay. 00:24:46.265 --> 00:24:47.791 I know this is secondary emotion. 00:24:47.791 --> 00:24:50.965 I know there's something under the surface. 00:24:50.965 --> 00:25:03.165 Maybe it's rejection, maybe it's frustration, maybe it's fear of the future, maybe there's a level of sadness or maybe I'm offended, there's an offense that's happened to me. 00:25:03.165 --> 00:25:05.593 But what is below the surface? 00:25:05.593 --> 00:25:10.055 How do I deal with anger there? 00:25:10.055 --> 00:25:24.435 Because if all we do is take care of the tip of the iceberg, it's like treating a rotten apple on a tree and the apple keeps showing up rotten over and over and over again. 00:25:24.435 --> 00:25:32.425 If you just keep plucking the rotten apple but you don't help the tree get healthy, we're never gonna fix what's really going on. 00:25:32.425 --> 00:25:33.705 And some of us that's what we do. 00:25:33.705 --> 00:25:36.748 We deal with anger when it pops its head out of the water. 00:25:36.748 --> 00:25:41.171 If you will, we apologize, sorry, i didn't mean to blow up. 00:25:41.171 --> 00:25:41.566 It happened. 00:25:41.566 --> 00:25:42.470 I know it happened again. 00:25:43.884 --> 00:25:47.431 Maybe men in the rooms at any of us that's me sometimes right. 00:25:47.431 --> 00:25:55.963 Just internalize, internalize, internalize until you can't any longer than sorry, my bad, let's dig in, let's get below the surface and go. 00:25:55.963 --> 00:26:07.810 Okay, what is it that's underneath the anger that, if I let God work there below the surface, deep on the inside, what becomes visible might actually change? 00:26:07.810 --> 00:26:13.114 We wanna dig in, we wanna heal at a deep level. 00:26:13.114 --> 00:26:17.296 We don't just wanna treat the externalized anger. 00:26:17.296 --> 00:26:24.330 So this is what Jesus says in Matthew five We don't just wanna deal with the external, we're not just worried about once it gets to the stage of murder. 00:26:24.330 --> 00:26:30.115 We wanna get on the inside and treat anger at its source. 00:26:30.115 --> 00:26:34.791 So that number three we can ultimately move towards forgiveness. 00:26:34.791 --> 00:26:43.755 The antidote to anger is forgiveness And we wanna be moving towards forgiveness. 00:26:43.905 --> 00:26:45.291 Anger is like a prison, is it not? 00:26:45.291 --> 00:26:50.732 Just locks you up, keeps you bound, feels like there's no way out. 00:26:50.732 --> 00:26:56.094 Well, if anger is the prison, forgiveness is the key that opens the door. 00:26:56.094 --> 00:27:06.556 So if you're here in the room this morning or if you're watching online at a later date and you're like I struggle with anger, that's me. 00:27:06.556 --> 00:27:08.713 I feel like I'm trapped in a prison. 00:27:08.713 --> 00:27:16.591 The iceberg of anger keeps popping its head out in my life and it's wreaking havoc on my family, my kids, my spouse and my career. 00:27:16.591 --> 00:27:20.591 The key might be forgiveness. 00:27:21.705 --> 00:27:26.575 So maybe then the question becomes okay, well, who do I need to forgive? 00:27:26.575 --> 00:27:28.508 Is it a coworker? 00:27:28.508 --> 00:27:31.611 Said something in passing, just can't let it go? 00:27:31.611 --> 00:27:34.109 Is it a spouse? 00:27:34.109 --> 00:27:39.445 something in your past, someone from the past Man? 00:27:39.445 --> 00:27:45.375 forgiveness is one of those things like so it's great to talk about hard to get there, is it not? 00:27:45.375 --> 00:27:50.490 Because sometimes the people we need to forgive they don't even know that we're mad. 00:27:50.490 --> 00:28:03.953 They don't even know they did anything wrong, or it's been so long ago that they've forgotten it And we're holding on to it and we're thinking that it's wrecking their life, but really it is just imprisoning us. 00:28:03.953 --> 00:28:09.733 So we wanna move towards forgiveness. 00:28:09.733 --> 00:28:15.432 Sometimes the person that we need to forgive the most isn't someone else, it's actually us. 00:28:17.345 --> 00:28:31.148 Maybe you're mad at yourself, choices you've made in your past, all patterns you still deal with to this day, or just not where you thought you'd be in life, and then just mad at yourself about whatever. 00:28:31.148 --> 00:28:39.982 If God is willing to forgive you, how could you not forgive yourself? 00:28:39.982 --> 00:28:45.701 If God is willing to forgive you, how could you not forgive someone else? 00:28:45.701 --> 00:28:47.613 I'm not saying it's easy. 00:28:47.613 --> 00:28:49.419 It's a process. 00:28:49.419 --> 00:28:51.240 It's going to take some time. 00:28:51.240 --> 00:28:52.710 It's going to take some prayer. 00:28:52.710 --> 00:28:58.437 It's going to take some people probably coming around you and praying for you, encouraging you, speaking truth into your life. 00:28:58.437 --> 00:29:03.021 But in the long run, the work of forgiveness is worth it. 00:29:03.021 --> 00:29:08.480 Even if it doesn't change the person you're mad at, it's going to change you. 00:29:08.480 --> 00:29:13.621 It's going to free you from the prison that's got you bound. 00:29:13.621 --> 00:29:19.776 It's going to free you to offer your worship to God and know that you have done everything possible to live at peace with people. 00:29:22.171 --> 00:29:26.340 Fourth thing when we're dealing with anger, talk to God. 00:29:26.340 --> 00:29:29.777 Now some of you are like, well, you should have started there. 00:29:29.777 --> 00:29:41.685 I know we should have, but we didn't intentionally, because some of us, the issue isn't you're mad at somebody or you're mad at yourself. 00:29:41.685 --> 00:29:45.796 It's that you're mad at God, and we don't want to admit that, do we? 00:29:45.796 --> 00:29:56.780 We're frustrated with God because of what we've gone through, where we are, the circumstances that we know he could have fixed if he had chosen to, but he didn't. 00:29:56.780 --> 00:30:01.998 He may have done it for someone else, he may have done it for your friend, he could have done it for you, but he didn't and he chose not to. 00:30:01.998 --> 00:30:07.621 And so, if we're honest, deep on the inside, we're holding on to some anger towards God. 00:30:07.621 --> 00:30:12.710 If that's you today I love what Lauren said. 00:30:13.092 --> 00:30:17.690 God knows you're not going to tell God anything that he's not already aware of. 00:30:17.690 --> 00:30:19.636 So if you're mad at God, tell him. 00:30:19.636 --> 00:30:22.034 He can handle it. 00:30:22.034 --> 00:30:25.690 Tell him, but don't just stop there. 00:30:25.690 --> 00:30:28.015 Don't just tell God how you feel. 00:30:28.015 --> 00:30:30.601 Ask God to remind you who he is. 00:30:30.601 --> 00:30:40.221 Because, see, here's what we have to understand Even if we're frustrated with God, mad at God, god has never done anything wrong. 00:30:42.373 --> 00:30:42.774 He hasn't. 00:30:42.774 --> 00:30:47.339 Everything that God does comes from his holiness. 00:30:47.339 --> 00:30:52.720 He's perfect in every decision he's ever made. 00:30:52.720 --> 00:31:00.737 He's 100% good, through and through, pure, righteous. 00:31:00.737 --> 00:31:03.841 The father of good. 00:31:03.841 --> 00:31:05.710 James says Father of light. 00:31:05.710 --> 00:31:12.082 Every good and perfect gift comes from him And ultimately, he's motivated by his love. 00:31:14.613 --> 00:31:18.142 And so when we are frustrated with God, we're mad at God. 00:31:18.142 --> 00:31:21.939 I think we need to remember that, hey, god's got perspective that we don't have. 00:31:21.939 --> 00:31:28.838 He sees more than we see, and I love the promise of Romans 28 that in all things, god works for good. 00:31:28.838 --> 00:31:50.261 And so, even when I don't understand what God is doing, when I'm frustrated by how he's chosen to work his plan out in my life, i have to remind myself God, i know who you are, and I know you're righteous, i know you're holy, i know you're good, i know that everything you do is consistent with your character. 00:31:50.261 --> 00:31:56.524 And so if I don't understand, that's not your fault. 00:31:56.524 --> 00:31:59.298 I can trust you. 00:31:59.298 --> 00:32:05.276 Can I just say too if you don't understand God, that's not your fault either. 00:32:05.276 --> 00:32:07.221 You're human. 00:32:07.221 --> 00:32:12.425 God understands, he loves you just as much on your worst days he does on your best day. 00:32:12.425 --> 00:32:31.428 When you're mad at God, god is full of love and grace and compassion towards you And what God wants more than anything is for you to know his love, to walk in his love, to feel a peace with God. 00:32:31.428 --> 00:32:34.523 That only is possible through Jesus Christ. 00:32:34.523 --> 00:32:36.269 So talk to God. 00:32:36.269 --> 00:32:37.802 You mad at someone else, talk to God about it. 00:32:37.802 --> 00:32:40.680 If you're frustrated with yourself, talk to God about it. 00:32:40.680 --> 00:32:43.783 If you're mad at God, talk to God about it. 00:32:43.783 --> 00:32:48.490 Let him remind you who he is. 00:32:48.490 --> 00:32:53.727 Let him remind you that you can trust him even when you don't like what he's doing. 00:32:53.727 --> 00:32:59.390 You don't understand why it had to be this way. 00:32:59.390 --> 00:33:08.330 I wanna close with a powerful example of anger and forgiveness I came across a little while ago. 00:33:10.980 --> 00:33:13.330 Some of you may remember 1994, rwanda. 00:33:13.330 --> 00:33:14.930 There was a genocide. 00:33:14.930 --> 00:33:24.634 It was the overflow of a couple of years of political violence, political turmoil between the Hutu people and the Tutsi people, two ethnic groups in Rwanda. 00:33:24.634 --> 00:33:31.094 They lived intermingled in communities, no-transcript racial and religious and religious issues that were mingled in communities. 00:33:31.094 --> 00:33:47.059 But over the course of time, because of this political tension and this turmoil within the country, the Hutu militias begin to exterminate Tutsi people over the course of about 100 days in the spring and summer of 1994. 00:33:47.059 --> 00:33:54.262 It's estimated that more than half a million Tutsi people died as a result of this genocide. 00:33:54.262 --> 00:33:57.956 It became the subject of a movie, hotel Rwanda, don Cheadle. 00:33:57.956 --> 00:33:58.739 you may have seen that. 00:33:58.739 --> 00:34:03.940 I remember watching that in high school and being like, oh my goodness, i had no idea. 00:34:03.940 --> 00:34:07.519 But I want to show you this morning a photo. 00:34:07.519 --> 00:34:17.552 This photo is from a New York Times special called Portraits of Reconciliation On the left. 00:34:17.552 --> 00:34:22.695 On the left is a Hutu man whose name is Sinsi Keromuka. 00:34:22.695 --> 00:34:32.742 On the right is a Tutsi man whose name is Kararero And I'm sure I said those wrong, but that's their names. 00:34:32.742 --> 00:34:46.477 And Sinsi Keromuka, on the left, was in the room when a Hutu militia took the life of Kararero's brother and he did nothing to stop it. 00:34:46.477 --> 00:34:51.401 How they ended up in a photo together is incredible. 00:34:51.490 --> 00:35:07.797 Shortly after the events of 1994, a nonprofit called AMI realized that hey, if we don't do something in the aftermath of this incredible violence, anger and division is gonna tear this nation apart. 00:35:07.797 --> 00:35:25.061 And so they made the choice to get involved and they began to take small groups of Hutus and Tutsis and put them in close proximity and with intensive counseling they begin to work towards real, practical reconciliation. 00:35:25.061 --> 00:35:42.755 And so they would undergo this intensive process and at the end of the process, the Hutu perpetrator of violence, if you will, would go to the victim of the violence and ask for forgiveness. 00:35:42.755 --> 00:35:56.775 And they were really intentional with these groups they put together, they would find a Hutu man who actually perpetrated violence against a Tutsi family and that man would go to this family and ask for forgiveness. 00:35:56.775 --> 00:36:08.760 And so Sinsi Kuramuka goes to Kararero and asked him to forgive him because he did nothing when Kararero's brother was being killed. 00:36:08.760 --> 00:36:30.282 And I wanted to read you Kararero's response He forgave Sinsi Kuramuka and he said this when someone is full of anger he can lose his mind, but when I granted forgiveness I felt my mind at rest. 00:36:32.090 --> 00:36:37.914