Waiting for the Lord

As Rooted and Radiant prepares to launch Season Three on October 1, 2024, I’m reflecting on our journey and how far we've come since February 2023. In this re-release, I’m excited to revisit one of our most impactful episodes: my very first podcast with my youngest daughter, Carter. This episode remains our most downloaded, and Carter’s message on waiting for the Lord holds profound truth and encouragement. Join us as she shares her journey, offering wisdom and comfort for those navigating their own waiting seasons. Don’t miss this powerful conversation!

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Transcript

Since February of 2023, Rooted and Radiant has grown in so many ways, and I am so very grateful. As we prepare to launch Season 3 on October 1st, 2024, I'd like to take you back to the very first podcast recording with my youngest daughter, Carter. This episode was so well received by our listeners, it still holds timeless truth for those trusting God's plan. Listen now to her wisdom on Waiting for the Lord. 

 Welcome to Rooted and Radiant. I'm your host, Jan Harrison. Here we seek to root ourselves in the life-giving Word of God and cultivate spiritual fruit that radiates Jesus in and through us. 

On Rooted and Radiant, we often talk about God's desire to produce beautiful and bountiful fruit in our lives. Every season is an opportunity to grow and produce more. But His method is often more intense and more costly than we ever dreamed or imagined. Today, I am so excited to introduce you to my youngest daughter, Carter.

Moms, I just want you to know, and friends, and all who sew into other people's lives, that one of the most rewarding things about grown children is being able to watch those truths come back and begin to bear much fruit. Carter, I want to thank you. I want to thank you for being such a blessing. I want to thank you for the teachable heart that you have, and I want to thank you for just being willing to share all that God has done in your life. You have taught me and encouraged me, and I'm so excited for the things that you're going to share with our audience today. I love you. 

I love you, Gigi. It is such a gift to be able to. Take this time and get to talk to you one on one. I've been here for a week and my mom has poured herself out for my two little boys. So, it's fun to get a minute to just chat, just us. But it's funny you said the word taught because when I thought about you and dad, just the parents that you were to us, I've heard the parenting advice that more is caught than taught. But as I look back, I'm realizing I caught a lot more than maybe was taught. And the things that I caught were really good things, things that ultimately have pointed me back to the Lord. So thank you for living the life that you live and just your consistency and your faithfulness to the word of God day in and day out.

So Carter, the attribute that I really have observed in your adult life, particularly the last few years has been the fruit of waiting. And I think our culture and our generation is so offended and put off by waiting and yet we know that scripture refers to waiting and the power of waiting in every season and in every example in life almost. So, I want to ask you today, if you would share people listening or waiting, everybody is waiting for something. So I just really believe that one of the harvest of seeing of the Word of God in your life is how he intends for us to wait. So, would you just share some of your story and how God is used waiting in your life?

Yes. Well, first of all, one of the scriptures that I think really did anchor me in the waiting season was Psalm 27: 14. And it says, wait on the Lord. Be of good courage and he will strengthen your heart. And I think as I look back, heart strengthening is what happens. One of the, one of the things, one of the, one of the many fruits of waiting, your heart gets strengthened in a way that it can't in any other season. You know, I, it was funny when we were talking about this the other day, I, and you said, we were just talking about waiting and I remember, one of the first things that I waited for, it sounds so silly, but I was a late bloomer and getting my period was something I was waiting on. I was 15 and just like anything with waiting, you start looking around and thinking, okay, this should be happening by now. It's not. And then it was the summer before my 16th birthday, and I was at Camp Greystone and my counselor had a theme verse for that summer. And it was Psalm 139: 16. And it says, I praise you because I'm fearfully and wonderfully made. You knit me together in my mother's womb. And that was the first time I had to really, one of the first times I felt like God's word spoke personally to me. I knew he fearfully and wonderfully made me. And what is wild is that was a scripture I would come back to years later as I waited for an empty womb to be filled. I had to anchor and hold fast to the truth. The belief that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. 

Carter, when you had that first understanding, or that first real personal witness that you were fearfully and wonderfully made, I think that is such a word for all of us, because our tendency is to look around and compare the timeline of our lives, whether it's physical, whether it's relational, whether it's career, whether it's all the things, all the life markers. Our greatest enemy sometimes is comparison and to be able to return to the word and to root yourself in knowing that you were made for God's purposes on your own time frame in your own way. I think that is such a deep truth that we need to continue to encourage people to know. People my age, people your age, and all in between. Gods made you. And I love that just spoke so personally to you. At a young age at an important age and when things are really beginning to be comparable  in other young girls lives.

Yes, So over the years I watched you wait for a lot of things things that at the time I wouldn't even say. An example I thought of in this conversation was where you were going to go to college, and you had made a decision and then in your heart you knew that decision wasn't really a fit for you. And just all the things God did waiting was beginning to be a theme that probably even at that point you didn't even realize it. It was going to be a theme yet, but one thing I observed in your life as I look back particularly is that you yielded to the waiting and you started to learn to let God show you how to wait matters. And I just want you to share, one of the biggest chapters of waiting in your life with us. 

 Wow. Yes. One of the biggest chapters has been definitely one of the best and one of the hardest. Over, I guess it was the beginning of 2017, God started really stirring my husband and I's heart to start a family. And we had a heart to adopt and also have our own children. We laid it before the Lord and really said, whichever one comes first, father, we want what you want. And so we started first, really pursuing the adoption process, just the way things lined up, that seemed next steps fell in line to reach out to an agency called lifeline children's services. And I'll never forget right before that call, I asked the Lord for a verse for our adoption journey. And. He led me to Isaiah 43: 18. And it says, forget former things do not dwell in the past. Behold, I'm doing a new thing. And now it springs forth. I'm making a way in the wilderness and streams in the desert. And I will confess as a giddy mom, ready to start a family. I thought that the way in the wilderness and the streams in the desert was going to be my child in my arms, probably in the next year or so from what the adoption agency had said, Indian adoptions at the time were happening in about 6 to 12 months, so similar to that of a pregnancy. And that was the expected, projected wait time. And as time went on, it got clear that that was not going to be the case. 

As you begin to see, that was not the time frame God had for you. How'd you cope with that? The disappointments and the delays and the difficulties that began to be a part of this waiting process. What are some of the practical things you would do each day to keep from losing heart?  

There was a couple things that really anchored me during that time. Mom, Gigi, actually gave me a book with the names of God. And I remember having to anchor into the character and the nature of God like never before. Jehovah Shammah, the God who is present, was probably the thing that I had to keep coming back to. I just would remind myself that He is Jehovah Shammah, He is the God who is present, and so He can be present with me, and He can be present with this little boy or girl in India. And somehow His presence will cover and keep us in this time apart, the time between I'm going to hold this baby. His presence is with me. His presence is with this child. And I got to know the gift of his presence in a way that carried me day by day, step by step. Was that hard? Hardest, hardest thing in the whole world. I cried a lot. My tears were sometimes all I had to offer the Lord, because there hit a point where I ran out of words. I did not know what to pray. I would simply whisper the names of God and can sometimes only say Jesus. 

The most powerful name you can ever say when there are no words. You say his name.  

Yes. I had another thing that had been caught, not taught, I do remember there being times looking at my mom and dad with things that they would walk through, and they would say Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. I will say on this side, I have seen that those who sow in tears do reap songs of joy, but there was a lot of tears sown. Um, tears that no one else could cry.  

Did you feel pressure to hide those tears or were you able to share those tears?  

Definitely. I think I learned in that season; I was going to have to trust a couple of people. There weren't many, to be honest with you, that did see that, but there was a faithful few. There's an older couple here in Charlotte who I deeply respect. And when we were a couple months into this journey, Ellison and I went to see them and pray with them. And can you share who they are? Yes, they are Percy and Sarah Jo Burns, and they have a gift of deliverance ministry. And so we went, not really knowing exactly why we were going, but trusting the leading of the spirit. And the first thing that Percy broke off of me was a spirit of hopelessness, keeping me from getting pregnant or having an adopted child. Just anything that would try to keep me from being a mom. And there was a lot of amazing things that happened to that day. But fast forward about a year and a half later when we finally did get our son Kru paperwork and his birthdate. The  day that Kru was born was June 9th of 2018, which was the same day that Percy had broken off that spirit of hopelessness. So, I look back and say our sweet Kru was birthed in prayer. 

And he was indeed. That little boy is the fruit of parents that prayed and that trusted God to bring forth his promises in his time. And again, we're back to the timing was hard and long, and I'm just so grateful. So what you're telling me or sharing with all of us is These reminders, you clung to the word of God as he spoke personally to you, you found particular strength in his character, God's character. That's why his names became very powerful places for you to root your hope was because it was in him, not in an agency, not in your husband, not in the doctors. It was in God. And I love that happened. And you didn't even realize that's what was happening. But on the outside, I can see that you were learning. So that's another practical place to send people when they are trying to learn how to wait. You called on other people. 

I did. One of the people that also comes to mind Was another adoptive mama. And I think that's really important. Whatever your season of waiting is, find someone years down the road that has been through it. We had a dear friend in Mississippi, Sarah Berry, and she had children of her own and then adopted two and her second adoption, she just, there's something that I prayed for this little boy that really changed our adoption process, she said, I prayed that he would be the favorite in the orphanage, that he would be highly favored because that way he's getting cared for and loved on and some of the attachment issues aren't going to be there, you know, when you get that child, if they have been cared for and loved on and so whenever friends and my mom's friends and all sorts of people would say, how can we pray for Kru ? I would just casually say, well, you just pray that he's the favorite and we get to India and it's the day that we meet crew and we are meeting the orphanage director and it's a really beautiful, but poor, poor orphanage, but I could just see the love on these women's faces that I knew had been holding my baby and it's maybe two minutes before we go to meet Kru and my husband says Is there anything we should know about Kru? And the orphanage director looks at us and she says, I just want you to know, we're gonna miss him, he is the favorite.  

I love that because there's not a mama in the world who does not want her child to be the favorite. You might have five children; you might have one. But you want your children to be the favorite. That's just part of your heart. And I think the wisdom of Sarah to share with you, to pray that, the faith to say, I'm going to ask. He is across the world in a place I have never seen. But again, I believe Jehovah Shammah is able to hear this, to watch over this, and to do this on our behalf. So, I just marvel. I marvel at the things God did on your behalf. And you know why I think that could be? Because we are his favorites. And he knows when we cry out for ours to be favored that we're simply asking that his loyal love, His loyal love will turn towards those we love. That's such an awesome story. Amen. Amen.  

Carter, the whole adoption story and those of course are just some really big highlights from it. That delightful little boy is here, and he is a favorite of everybody he meets, and he is such joy. I have just seen the favor of God on his life, but I have just a word of scripture that I want to share with our listeners, just wherever you are and where hopefully your own heart has been sparked with just that reminder that you can, because you are a favored child of God. You can ask him to pour favor on your child and on the people that you love. I want you to hear the words from Psalm 130 verse 5. David wrote this, but I believe we can prayer it with full confidence that it comes from our hearts as well. I wait for the Lord. My soul waits. And in his word, I do hope. And I believe that's the testimony that we've heard from Carter today, that honestly, she waited in his word, and his word fed her soul, and though her physical and circumstantial environment at times was it was so real and it was so difficult and it was so hard her soul was being nourished and being filled with hope because she waited in the word she waited. He said, I wait in the word more than those who watch for the morning. Yes, more than those who watch for the morning. And that's just such a picture to me of those long nights and those dark places and our mind might tell us that nothing is happening and nothing is moving towards the thing we long or wait for. But when your soul is being fed by the person and the word and the breath of God. He will get you up the next morning and fill you with hope. So, Carter, that was not the end of your waiting game. Shortly after you returned home with Kru and prayers were answered and he attached so quickly and there have just been so few of the things that you were told that to be there. There've been challenges like there are with all children, may I say, but it's been such a blessing to just watch how God has continued to teach you to parent this child. Yet the longing has not diminished in any way for you to have for you and Ellison to have children from your own body. And we prayed for fruitfulness from your body. So tell us a little bit about that journey, if you feel comfortable doing that.  

Yes, I certainly feel comfortable. And I think the word comfortable is one of the things that I had to get really uncomfortable. And I knew that was going  to be part of my flesh having to die over and over was the uncomfortable part of even naming it, to be honest with you, some people would say, you've got Kru are you good now? You're a mom. And I would say the desire of my heart, the deepest desire, I want both. I want the double portion. I want my own babies from my womb. I want adopted babies. And I don't know how many God has for us, but I knew that, no, this was not, he was definitely made to be the big brother, made to be first, but I believe God had more. And so I do think an important part was not feeling maybe some shame that could have creeped in just to silence me or to settle, if that makes sense. I think there was the temptation. There could have been the temptation. You can't deny your own heart. And scripture says, delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desire of your heart. And I trusted he knew my deepest desires. So as months went on and time went on, it became a medical journey for Ellison and I, it got uncomfortable. But during that time, as we've discussed, I think God knew I needed those years for my faith to build, to be able to fight the battle that was ahead of us to conceive. And it was a battle, and it was a spiritual battle and a physical battle.  

Carter, I want to interrupt you just a second right here because it takes me back to you being 15 and 16 and starting to see what was becoming normal for other girls your age. Yes. Now at this point, you're 31, although I would remind her she was still really young. That didn't bring a lot of comfort because she's still long that you still long to build a family. Yes. And it just reminds me, though, that, again, that discipline to not look around. You have two older sisters. They had what, two or three babies in the course of this time that you were longing to become pregnant. So again, I think we see the theme. We see what God was working in and through you and that it was a battle and you were going to have to fight it.  

Yes. And at the time. That we started this journey really, we were at the Belonging Company in Nashville and again, began to hear testimonies of women older than me that had been through infertility. And I will say there were prophetic words spoken and things that I held so fast to that were that anchoring on the really hard days. I would replay a recording I had of our pastor at the time, Alex Seeley, a word she had spoken over my womb, that there would be fruitfulness in my womb. It was Easter of 2018. And I, I held to that word, to that prophetic word. It was for. Um, four and a half years later that that came to pass. So also a reminder that if you receive a prophetic word that you believe is really from the Lord, hold on to it on the hard days, replay it, memorize it, and stand on it.  

So again, I see that a very practical thing that you did in your life. You were in church and we're not talking about being in church because it's a good thing to check off and do on Sunday as a matter of habit. We're talking about being in the body of believers and participating in the body of Christ and allowing others to stand with you, being open and truthful and vulnerable. Asking people to pray Over you letting them know that your tears and your smiles all have real life emotions and pains that go with them. So I love that you've just shared, again, another practical way that you wait. Nice. And that is you get among other believing people who have walked your road. 

Amen. I do not think we would have been able to walk the narrow road without those people around us. And one of the truths that I think I learned in that season too was that praise precedes your miracle. You have to get up and praise. You have to sing out. You have to be willing to get to that place before the miracle. And I think that is one of the greatest things I learned in all of this, that you can praise the Lord before you see. in the natural. Faith. Faith. Yes. Yes.  

Faith in what you do not see but you believe with all of your heart that God is who he says he is and he's true to what he has given you. 

An acronym that I have loved it's called CARES and the C is cry out, the A is appeal to his nature, the R is remember what he's done in the past, the E is enlarge him over your circumstance, and the S is sing out. So, as I look back through those years, I cried out, I cried out tears, I cried out to his nature. I remembered what he had done. As time went on, when it was time to start praying for this womb baby, I said, I remember that you brought crew from India in the middle of COVID, mind you, it got matched with that boy in March of 2020 when the whole world shut down. When fear was rampant, I remember when people said it's going to be impossible to get to him, but you made a way I enlarged him over my circumstances. I said, you are bigger than infertility. You are bigger than what doctors say or don't say. And then I began to sing out and just say, I'm going to worship you no matter what. 

You chose to believe the report of the Lord. Yes. And that is an old song that I used to hang on to in my own struggles. I would just say, I can either believe what the report card says, or what the teacher says, or what the, what the educational testing says, or what the diagnosis says, or I can believe the report of the Lord. And often I would go to that same verse. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. There's no mistakes. No mistakes.

And in all of that, don’t underestimate the power of a praying mama because as all of those things might sound like they were fluid, you know, of course there were moments and days of doubt and fear. And I know the prayers of my mom and my dad and other faithful people. There's no doubt that carried us. And I think too, I learned a level of surrender that I had watched my parents walk through in a different way, just as much as I longed for a child, they had to let go of a child and you learn surrender, they're different, they're very different. You can't compare the two, but it's an ultimate giving back what you love most to the Lord. Yes. And I had watched y'all walk through that with faith, and there is no doubt that gave me a blueprint. Different situation, but I had caught things that mattered most as I watched you guys go through that.  

That's so encouraging. I hope parents are so encouraged that what you do every day matters. And when you think you have blown it and when you think you have dropped the ball and some days you do blow it and some days you do drop the ball and God is bigger and that just is such a blessing. Carter, I want you to share the most amazing miracle that you have ever experienced.  

Well, it was January of 2022, and it was the day I was going to take my pregnancy test. I'd gone through a couple of negative pregnancy tests and that day after years of waiting, I knew I would, um, it was actually a blood test. So I went into the doctor to take the test that afternoon and that morning, my daily devotional, I believe it was Streams in the Desert, but the verse for that day was Psalm 40. And it was, I waited patiently for the Lord, and He inclined His ear, He heard my cry, He put a new song, a hymn of praise in my mouth. And I remember having a moment where I just asked the Holy Spirit, I said, Holy Spirit, is this my day of a new song? And I just heard, yes.  It was this moment where I knew I was going to have to trust him at a deeper level because I thought I heard yes, but of course, as I waited to open that email and my husband and I talked throughout that day and went back and forth and back and forth, but ultimately we really felt, okay, this is the day he has put a new song in our mouth and I waited till he got home from work and it was about 8 p. And we opened our email, and I think your HCG levels have to be something like over 200. I don't even, I don't know the science of it, but whatever my number was, it was like 1, 000 something. And it said, congratulations, you are so very pregnant. And we just cried, and we cried, but this time it was tears of great joy. And we knew that God had put a new song, a hymn, a praise, and a new song it has been on this side of things. 

And tell us. Tell us about the birth of this baby. So another part of the story that is a little wild, that same email I got, they give you the projected due date. I still don't know what all this means. Again, how the dates all line up. Some of the mysteries of God are just so beyond me, but his due date, why they're called a mystery. Yes. His due date was October 5th of 2022, which is the day that my sweet, precious older brother went to be with Jesus. And it just felt like a moment of God saying, my days, my times, it is in My hands that you can trust me that I have ordained this baby for this time. And so on October 5th of 2022, John Carter Glenn, we call him Johnny was born. He was seven pounds, 15 ounces. He has just been the joy of our life. He is the best little babe, and his big brother is. I'm very proud of him and I see on this side of things that the enemy was really trying to keep me from walking in this because I have never felt more alive and I'm just doing what God made me to do that I had these past few months of getting to mother these two boys. 

It's been an amazing blessing to watch. It has been so inspiring. For me, I have my children easily, fairly quickly. And it was hard. I thought it was all just a lot hard. And to watch how God has cultivated in Carter just such a joy and such a heart to serve. She serves these Children, and I am not talking about spoiling or serving them like a watch going on a lot these days. I'm talking about just surrendering herself in such a beautiful way. Carter, I I'm going to ask one last question before we get ready to wrap this up. It's personal and you don't have to answer it. If you don't, you can just say mom, no. Do you believe that your family is complete or do you have a yearning? Do you sense that God is not through with this? 

I sense that God is not through with this, and yes, we long for more. I could see us adopting more. I could see us having more. I know He knows the number, but we are giving that to Him and trusting He will complete. But He has started. He has started, yes. That's for sure. So rest up, Gigi.  

I know, right? So baby Johnny is the ninth grandchild, and we are just going to wait on the Lord. Carter, when you think of another season of waiting, does that feel overwhelming to you? Or does, do you feel strengthened and energized for the journey ahead?  

Overwhelm does not hit me when I think about it. I do think the more you walk, the more faith builds and like we said, when you do have something to stand on to enlarge him over what's next as time goes on, I think there's more things to say. Hey, you did this. You did this. You did this. You came through this time that time. I believe you can do it again. 

I had this thought early this morning that we never really stopped to realize that while we're waiting, God is also waiting. And I just think of myself as a parent, how hard it is to make my children or grandchildren now wait. You want to fulfill that desire that they have immediately because you just want to see them happy and excited. 

But a good parent. Like our good, good Father knows that what he has created us to be requires so much more than that instant gratification or momentary excitement over something. And I just was touched deep in my spirit this morning to think that the God of heaven, the God of the universe who could do anything at any time. He also waits because he wants the very, very best for us. And I'd hope that that thought could possibly be a shift for someone who feels like God is just withholding. And God is just keeping them from something. If you can remember that he's waiting because his love for you is so great, and I want to close that thought, not because it's my thought, but because we always like to go back to the Word of God with these verses that may be familiar from Lamentations chapter 3. Lamentations was a book when the prophet Jeremiah was pouring out his heartbreak. So if you need a place to go to read and just start to pour out heartbreak and comfort that he receives that from the Lord, go to lamentations and begin to just pour over that. But in chapter three, verses 22, though the Lord's mercies are not consumed because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, says my soul. Therefore, I hope in him. My circumstances are not my portion. My troubles are not my portion. My job, my finances, my, my comforts, they're not my portion. The Lord is my portion. Therefore, I hope in him. If He is my portion, my hope cannot be stolen. And that's what you've heard Carter just say in closing, because he is her portion. Her hope for more is in him. The Lord is good to those who wait for him to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.  

Anybody out there today who's waiting, whatever you're waiting for to be encouraged. That the waiting has purpose. If you will invite God into the waiting room with you. All kinds of pictures run through my mind in a waiting room. Most of them are, we're either agitated because it's taken forever for them to call us back. Or we're scared because we are not sure what they're going to say or we're dreading what the news is going to be. Invite God into the waiting room with you. Don't just invite him to stand at the door, but ask him to take the center seat and crawl up in his lap and trust that he is waiting with you and that his timing is perfect and his love is great. And your waiting has purpose and be encouraged today that when the wait is over, your roots will be deeper. And the fruit that you bring forth in your life will be more bountiful than any immediate gratification could have ever proved. 

So with that, we want to say thank you for listening. Carter, thank you for sharing on Rooted in Radiant. 

I know that we have so many listeners out there that are waiting. And waiting with expectation for God to do something on your behalf in your life. While you're waiting, it always comes down to making a choice. And sometimes you have to make that choice every single day. And this, I think, is the choice. Will you allow this time of waiting to leave you disheartened and discouraged? And asking yourself, Oh, where is God's goodness to me? Or you can also see this as a time to say, I believe, I believe that God is with me to strengthen and support my heart and that his courage is going to be poured into me. While I wait, stand on stake this waiting time on Psalm 27 verse 13, where the psalmist said, I would have lost heart unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord. in the land of the living. This week as you wait, I want to encourage you. Don't lose heart. Believe! God is going to show his goodness in your life. 

Thank you for joining me on Rooted and Radiant. Now let's all go cultivate our spiritual lives to become rooted in the word of God and radiate His joy.