A Life in Six Songs
A Life in Six Songs is a music-interview podcast focused on those particular songs that have a strong connection in each of our lives. These are not necessarily your favorite songs, but rather those times music was seared into your memory attached with what you were going through at the time.
Check out all the info at ALifeinSixSongs.com
So many of the discussions around music are about who the better band is or why a certain genre is not as good as another. Those discussions miss what is so fundamental about our interaction with and enjoyment of music. Here, we lead with Love, Kindness, and Curiosity, to counter the Hate, Anger, and Judgment in the world (and there is a lot of it!) We are a judgment-free zone where we do not critique our taste in music, but are focused on understanding the unique role music has played in each guest’s life.
"Don't ask me how I survived. Ask me what song I played on repeat when I thought my whole world was over."
Listen to the songs from the show! Check out the Life in Six Songs Playlist on:
Apple:
https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/a-life-in-six-songs-podcast-playlist/pl.u-kv9lq9mFNvoRK
Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4EmPAPejwNo6WwCKDeVmwU?si=a7b1957c464844f8
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Copyright Disclaimer: Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, commentary, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit or educational use tips the balance in favor of fair use. The original work played in this video has been significantly transformed for the purpose of commentary, criticism, and education.
A Life in Six Songs
Ep. 17 - Hilda Sánchez Fernández de Castro: A Kind Soul’s Soundtrack of Joy and Healing
On this episode, we chat with Hilda Sánchez Fernández de Castro, dog mom, kind soul, and psychedelic nurse in Cancun, Mexico. Hilda transports us back to high school days with “Mis Ojos Lloran Por Ti" by Big Boy and “La Tormenta de Arena” by Dorian and its place in the movie, “3 Metros Sobre el Cielo.” She shares the excitement of being first exposed to Mumford and Sons and seeing them live in both Mexico City and Washington, D.C., and also the challenges of going through difficult times with “Young and Sad” by Noah Cyrus. We finish by exploring new perspectives with “Earth My Body” by Maggie Clifford and working as a psychedelic nurse, then experiencing perfect moments with “Gozar Hasta Que Me Ausente” by Paloma del Cerro. It's a journey of finding oneself amidst the melodies and witnessing music’s profound impact on well-being, emotional healing, and joy.
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Watch David’s episode on his Ibogaine journey
Follow your hosts David, Raza, and Carolina every other week as they embark on an epic adventure to find the songs that are stuck to us like audible tattoos that tell the story of who we are and where we’ve been, to help us figure out where we’re going. It’s a life story told through 6 songs.
WHO WE ARE
DAVID: Creator & Host @ALifeinSixSongs
Facilitator & Educator | Music-Based Healing | Musician | Curiosity with Loving Kindness
CAROLINA: Co-Host @ALifeinSixSongs
Storyteller | Professional Facilitator
RAZA: Co-Host @ALifeinSixSongs
Lawyer | Producer | Solo Project: Solamente | @razaismyname
RESOURCES & LINKS
- Liked songs from this life story? Check out A Life in Six Songs playlist on Apple Music and Spotify
- Follow A Life in Six Songs on Instagram, LinkedIn, and YouTube
- Are you a veteran who is struggling? Call the Veterans Crisis Line: Dial 988, then press 1.
- Support our work!
- Don’t keep us all to yourself! Share our podcast with your people!
- Reach out to us at alifeinsixsongspodcast@gmail.com
Copyright Disclaimer: Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, commentary, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit or educational use tips the balance in favor of fair use. The original work played in this video has been significantly transformed for the purpose of commentary, criticism, and education.
I don't know why exactly that part of that movie is here. I can play that scene over and over in my head. I think it's the comfort For that moment, that song, they were together and seeing that and how they danced together, it was like comfort. It was like it's like comfort, it's happening and everything is okay in this exact moment. Hey, everybody.
Speaker 3:Hey everybody, welcome to another episode of A Life in Six Songs. I am your host, david Rees, and I'm joined by my co-hosts Carolina and Raza. Hey, hey.
Speaker 3:Hello For those of you new to the podcast. On each episode we embark on an epic adventure with our guests to find the songs that are stuck to us like audible tattoos, that tell the story of who we are and where we've been, to help us figure out where we're going. It's a life story told through six songs. We come to these conversations with love, kindness and curiosity to counter the prevalence of hate, anger and judgment in the world. Our guiding view, with a nod to Ted Lasso, is be curious, not judgmental. Our goal is that by listening to these stories, you can bring more love, kindness and curiosity into your own life. Let's go have a listen together.
Speaker 3:Our guest today is Hilda Sanchez Fernandez de Castro. Hilda, a registered nurse born in Querétaro, mexico, is a compassionate caregiver at Beyond Ibogaine Clinic in Cancún, mexico. She has an eight-year-old dog named Tachuela who has been with her literally her whole life. Hilda loves her family, being at home and going to the beach. She focuses on enjoying life, but also allows herself to feel blue when she needs it. Hilda, welcome to A Life in Six Songs.
Speaker 1:Hi everybody. It's a pleasure to be here. I'm very, very excited, have you?
Speaker 3:So before we get into your actual six songs, we like to do just a little warm up question and it's sort of just you know what? What role do you see music playing in your life? Like, when you think of music and your life, how do you see those two fitting together?
Speaker 1:What does music do for you? Well, to answer like the question, for the first thing that pops in my head is like I imagine, sometimes like in movies, you know, like something is happening and you have like the background music, and I think it's something more like like very chilling music, more like sand music, you know, or maybe that's how I want to picture my life too, like I'm like I'm walking on clouds, you know, and the music is soft is the music is like.
Speaker 3:Maybe it doesn't have lyrics, but it's like suave so like music being like the, the score or soundtrack to the movie of your life, yes, and it creating a certain kind of vibe and feel for you.
Speaker 1:Yes, totally, totally.
Speaker 3:Nice, I love that. I love that. All right, I'm going to kick it over to Carolina. Who's going to get us going with your first song?
Speaker 4:Yeah, all right so for your first song. First song, yeah. Nice, all right, so for your first song. Good, we're like embarking on a journey here for your first song. What's a song? That, when you hear it, you are just instantly transported to a specific time or place.
Speaker 1:Well, that will be the song my eyes cry for you by big boy. If you translated that in English will be like my eyes cry for you. It's a. It's a song that I remember when I, when I was in in high school, and it was like a very popular song around the parties and when they put it on, like everybody get around, you know, and just sing the song and it has like a little rap part and everybody was like you know, like, like you know, like crazy, all the red faces, you know, and the eyes like popping out of your face. But everybody was like very excited about that song. So I it's like a, I treasure that song. Every time that I hear that song I'm transferred to that time and you know like being with friends and that that time of everybody's or pretty much everybody uh, part of their lives, when you're a kid, you're just enjoying, you know, like you don't have worries and you just want to like sing a song.
Speaker 3:Yeah, let's take a quick listen and then we'll talk about it on the other side, that's good. Good stuff.
Speaker 1:How does it feel hearing it?
Speaker 3:again right now.
Speaker 1:It makes me feel happy. I don't know. I mean, the song is sad. You know what the lyrics talk about. It's more like well, they're getting separated, you know, and my eyes are crying for you because you're not here and we're not together. So it's like a sad song, a love song, but it has this rhythm that it makes you feel joy. You know, Like I don't know, it gets you to move.
Speaker 6:Those are probably some of the best types of songs. It's like where because they're so unexpected right, it's the the lyrics are saying one thing, but the music itself is doing something completely different.
Speaker 1:Exactly, exactly, like you feel it in your body and in your mind. It's like other other thing, you know, and then the the song start like soft.
Speaker 3:you know, even the, the music in the back is like more calm, and then suddenly it's like the rap part yeah, yeah, when I was preparing the songs for the interview, um I I looked up the name and it's like, oh, this, you know big boy, and I had heard the name before growing up in South Florida. You know reggaeton and things is popular, so I remember the name. And then I started playing the song and, like you said, it starts off in the slow. We heard a little bit of it there at the beginning and I was like this doesn't sound like a lot of the reggaeton I know. And then it like kicks in. You're like, oh there, it is there yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 1:So I think it's like a song that has like a plot twist, you know so you remember this song from high school.
Speaker 3:What was what was growing up in high school like? What was you know? What was that like for you?
Speaker 1:well, um, when, when I was 12, my parents get divorced and I moved to from querétaro to puebla they are in the center of mexico, pretty much same weather, same everything but my mother's family were in puebla and my mother's family found a school. It's called Colegio Angeles, so like angels school, it's a very Catholic school. So I had a scholarship there because it was my family, so I didn't have, like any other option to go to school. So that was it. And my dad. He's always been atheist. He doesn't believe in God atheist and.
Speaker 1:I have the same problem, but about the pronunciation, not the oh right.
Speaker 3:I was like oh, the pronunciation. I was like oh wait, or does she mean the religion?
Speaker 1:Yeah, the pronunciation.
Speaker 3:It's fine either way, just so you know Okay, perfect perfect.
Speaker 1:So in Querétaro I was in no religious school, it was very open. But then when I moved to P puebla with all my mom's family and I have my my adolescence there, you know, it's when I was 12, so I was a kid playing dolls in queretaro and then suddenly my life changed and I have everything is completely different, you know, and then so it was. It was crazy that in that catholic school my friends like that song.
Speaker 1:You know it's not like against anything but, but it's more like, like you say, the reggaeton and maybe like the parties, and so it was. It was in the strict school and and I think that that part is hard I've been also doing some work on myself and you get to understand how sometimes religious gets you in some little cage.
Speaker 1:You know, there are things that you cannot do, but I think that song got me out of that, so it was like a different everything and everybody was in. That play starts to sound in any party and everybody get up and dance and sing, so it was like a change of mind.
Speaker 4:I have a vision of like a hundred teenagers just like screaming the rap part all like sweaty. And like I got a really good visual of that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was like that.
Speaker 4:Yes, yeah.
Speaker 3:It's such a it's a common theme. We see a lot on this show, show of this sort of, like you said, the, the like tension of like the box that religion can, can put people in or kind of restrict you from other other things, and then how so often it's it's music that kind of opens someone up to being like oh you're free, might be another world out here yeah, there's, there's something else. There's more than just this narrow view or culture I might have been raised in in that sense.
Speaker 1:Yes, exactly.
Speaker 6:Going back to the rhythm part and the music part versus the lyrics part, and as someone who knows very little about the depth of these lyrics, I bet it must have been cool to hear this as a breakup song. Is that what you said? Yeah.
Speaker 6:Or two people separating, but the rhythm makes it sound so much more exciting. So I wonder if anyone who's heartbroken or whatever listening to the song and listening to the rhythm may help them get through that, get over that sort of emotional aspect, and just maybe get loose, maybe cry, have some tears and then move on.
Speaker 1:You're completely right. Everybody that had their heart broke at that time. You sing the song more euphoric and you know, and you see the other one screaming, so you start screaming too, like, and then it's like everybody's very excited about it, you know.
Speaker 4:It makes me think of our generations like I Will Survive which? Is a common dance song, but also like a heartbreak song. Yes, but everyone like sings it at the top of their lungs in like this dancey way.
Speaker 1:And you feel like a happy song. You know, like, yeah, you know, and you want to dance.
Speaker 6:Exactly, there's hope.
Speaker 3:There's, like you know, you yeah, every, every ending is a new beginning, right, and so go hit the dance floor, find the next person to break your heart Probably meet them on the dance floor. If we're being honest, that's right.
Speaker 4:All right, so awesome. First song thinking about just how that song is like was made you feel like different from the like kind of box or cage that you described. You know, music can do that for us and it can be really cool when we're first, like, exposed to new music. So for your second song, what was a memorable time when you were first exposed to a band or an artist's music?
Speaker 1:I don't remember the exact year, I think, but it was listening to Moonfire and Suns. I don't know if you have heard of that group, but I love. I think it's my favorite one. And the first time that I listened to those guys and they have like the banjo and and they there's a part of some of the songs that they get also screaming guys and they have like the banjo and and they there's a part of some of the songs that they get also screaming, you know like they're very passionate you know, and so, yeah, that was a breakthrough for me.
Speaker 1:I started to listen to more music like that kind of music. I don't know exactly what kind of music is. I think it's like folk country mix, I don't know, you know. But but yeah, those that group is open my mind too nice, let's take a quick listen to a song.
Speaker 3:But it was not your fault, but mine and it was your heart on the line. I really fucked it up this time. Deny my dear, deny my, how's it feel hearing it now?
Speaker 1:oh it, it gets me, I don't know, like the chills and, and I don't know, it makes me happy.
Speaker 3:Yes, yeah, yeah. It almost feels like um, going very much what we were saying with your first song and sort of like, how you know, there was kind of a religious box, and then this, this, um, you know, uh, uh, reggaeton song kind of brought you out and like, oh, there's something else, and then it's, it's similar with this. In that way it feels like because it's like you said, you described it, the banjos and the way it's playing like when you hear this and if you haven't heard a song or music genre like this, it can be like what is that? And so what was it? What was it like you? What did it feel like that first time you heard it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think the first time was like that. I was listening, my cousin showed it to me and I mean, I remember I was like what is this? I mean, what kind of music is this? Why are they mixing? And then they start like and they scream, but it's a beautiful scream, you know. And there's and they playing like they start playing really fast, and then you get like this excitement, you know, like like yes, yes, I want more, oh, that's awesome.
Speaker 4:I feel like a lot of folk can a lot of folk can a lot of folk music can be on the slower side you know, or like just kind of medium tempo, but like mumford and son does a good job of this, like just very upbeat, it's hard to not feel super happy when you listen to them.
Speaker 3:Yes, yeah, yeah, and similar to oh, go ahead.
Speaker 6:I was just going to say and they, they do so much with so little. It's like from from a rhythm perspective, it's like it's one bass drum Boom, boom, boom, boom. That's it.
Speaker 4:Oh really. Yeah, Very very simple, but it's not.
Speaker 6:I think from drums it's basically one guy with a kick drum.
Speaker 2:Right, he's doing something else and he's just kind of standing up, and that's something I think they do.
Speaker 1:He's singing, he's playing the guitar and with the food he's with the drum. I don't know how they do it. I can barely do something on the guitar and sing at the same time.
Speaker 3:I don't have that coordination and it's good too, like you. Like you were saying, um, carolina, that that mix of bringing in different sort of genres. Like you know, the banjo is sort of that bluegrass kind of feel, which can also have a certain kind of like it's almost, like you know, bluesy kind of feeling, but this is like pumped up and and rocking in a way, um, also very similar to that first song in the sense of like. Like this song is a good example like this is not a happy song when you kind of pay attention to the lyrics in ways and I feel like mumford and sons has a lot of those too where the song is like you're like, yeah, this is awesome. And then you pay attention to the lyrics and you're like whoa this is dark.
Speaker 3:This is rough stuff, yeah yeah, he does.
Speaker 6:That's the best kind of music, though, isn't it where there's like a duality happening? It's unexpected, you think one thing, but something else happens. The lyrics are saying something, but the music is almost like in happy mode or uplifting mode, but it's not.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 6:I don't know.
Speaker 3:It's a way to check who's really paying attention. Oh go ahead.
Speaker 1:And I don't know if that happens to you, but I get very sensitive with the music, like the sound, the rhythm, like everything. A song can make me feel calm and a song can make me feel very anxious or like something is about to happen, you know, and. Moon for a Sun. What it does is makes me feel happy, makes makes me want to move, makes me want to sing, even the, even though the lyrics are not like walking on sunshine, but right but I don't know it's.
Speaker 1:It's a group that I love. If I want to hear them, I want to see them too, like I love seeing perform, because I feel also how they enjoy doing a show. You know, like they are. It's a. It's beautiful, and I had the chance to see them twice. First in Mexico. The first time they go to Mexico, I went to see them in Mexico City. It was in 2016. I remember I went with my broken nose to the concert. How did you break your nose?
Speaker 4:I'm not going to miss them.
Speaker 1:Yes, nothing will stop me. I broke my nose playing flag football back in college and I have the pictures in the concert with my, you know, like Ferula in the nose and when they started, like because we were in the middle and I remember you know the people start sometimes doing I think it's called smash slam. You know like people start to or moshing. Yeah, like I don't know, like jumping and pushing, you know.
Speaker 1:And it's like people doing concerts, but I don't like that. Jumping and pushing, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, people doing concerts, but I don't like that. So I was like trying to get out of there and then I got a hit in my nose and I was like that oh my God, wow, I wouldn't have thought there would have been like moshing at Mumford Sons show.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I guess people, you know, hey, get moving. I think it's because of Mexico. You know, mexicans, just we're crazy people. Maybe.
Speaker 4:The music really moves them. Yes exactly.
Speaker 3:Since we're talking about kind of like lyrics and music and kind of how the music can feel one way, but lyrics can be another. One thing we always are curious about too, that we like to ask our guests, is sort of like you know what, what, what do you what? What do you pay attention to most or first with music? Is it the music or are you a lyrics person and you're like boom right into the lyrics? I, based on things you've already said, I have my assumption of what I think you might say but I'm curious kind of um yeah that's.
Speaker 1:That's a very good question, actually. I think I mean, my boyfriend loves music too and he's more like techno music, but he also likes other kinds of music. But for me, for example, when he puts on techno music, I feel very tight. It's a music that maybe I don't like. You know, I feel it in my body, even though I'm not paying attention. It's like I feel like, oh, you know, like I, I need to have that attraction, like how it sounds, that's like the first. And then when I, when he puts some music, then and I start the music and I I'm like, oh, that's nice. And then it starts the lyrics and I and I'm like, oh, wow. And then I'm like, what song is that I like? It you you know.
Speaker 1:So I think first is like the music. How am I like, maybe unconsciously, like perceiving the music, like how my body feels, you know. And then, because I've noticed pretty much with my boyfriend now that because he sometimes puts music and I, I'm like doing something else and I feel how the music changed, how I feel and it could be in a good way or it could be in not in a bad way, but it makes me feel uncomfortable, you know there are music that makes me feel uncomfortable that that your answer matches up with my assumption because it was based on how you described it in the beginning of how you view music as sort of the soundtrack and the vibe.
Speaker 3:I'm like, yeah, I think she's going to be kind of keyed into the music and things you were saying about. You feel it in your body in certain ways yeah. Right. So you're someone who is probably, even if the lyrics are good, if the music's not feeling right for you, it's not going to matter what it is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 6:Sounds kind of like a relationship. Right, it has to be the initial attraction and then you stay Like click.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you need to click with the music, yeah, that's true.
Speaker 4:Yeah that's true, yeah, yeah. So in thinking about um, just thinking about what david was saying about how you kind of view music as a soundtrack to your life, we're gonna think about soundtracks and movies for your next song. So for your next song, what's a song from a movie that is just seared into your mind? You cannot think of the movie without thinking of that song.
Speaker 1:It will be La Tormenta de Arena by Dorian. It's a movie called Tres Metros Sobre el Cielo. It's from Spain, so they speak Spanish. I think the traduction will be like three meters above the sea no, the sky Above the sea. Meters above the sea no, the sky above the sky above the sky, above the sky. Yeah, so it's a.
Speaker 3:I wasn't translating in my head in doing the research for today's episode. I had looked it up and I was remembering what I saw.
Speaker 4:the translation yeah, no, I think.
Speaker 3:I think that would be yet. No, no, I was remembering the English that I had looked up. Yeah, Good.
Speaker 1:So the movie, it's a love movie for young people that they fell madly in love but at the end they are not together. And that song it's in a part where they are like, except they like each other. You know like they are attracted to each other because you know it's like this movie, where they don't like each other but in the inside they are in love and when it gets the opportunity, like you know, the flower bloom and it's beautiful and their, their love is amazing, but at the end they cannot be together.
Speaker 3:it's really good yeah, it's one of the best parts of doing this is is the new music we get exposed to right it's every interview I've done is that there's, you know, in preparing it there's yeah something I'm like haven't heard of that before.
Speaker 6:It's almost like 80s goth like, um, like the cure or um actually some of the newer stuff that's coming out.
Speaker 4:Uh, has has this same kind of influenced, but yeah but sorry this is your song I don't want to synthesizer has an 80s sound, so so it's this love story. Why can't they be together?
Speaker 1:I don't know. I think it's because of their families, like she's the high society, you know, and the other is that, like the bad boy who runs like the motorcycle and and I mean to be honest, the guy has like some anger problems. You know, like now, now that you're having some therapy and healing some part of our lives, you can like see in some movies like, oh, wow, that's, you need therapy, friend. You know, like like years, ago.
Speaker 4:It was very romantic.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but right now it's like right right no yeah, yeah, why won't you let me be with them? And it's like oh no, there's some reasons yes, yes, just let it go.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and this song is playing the part like she runs away, like she escaped the house at night and got to the club alone and starts like dancing in the middle of the of the floor and that guy is like smoking a cigarette on the top, like in a balcony looking at that and like he saw he sees her and he's like just like, gets her like from behind and start like touching the elbows and like like in a romantic way and there's that like dancing. But it's like.
Speaker 1:It's not a song like you know, it's like a soft song, like, like, but your moves are not like very marked, there are more like like soft, you know, like a vows I don't know. So they made it look like very delicious to dance that song, you know, like I don't know. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 6:Yeah, I love these kinds of movies.
Speaker 1:I mean, at the end you cry because they're like what? They're not together, you know, but yeah.
Speaker 6:Because you know how it's going to end. It's the same time, it's usually the same thing. You guys remember Cool as Ice Vanilla Ice was like the badass in it and he falls in love.
Speaker 4:I didn't see that Vanilla Ice made a movie. It wasn't a huge blockbuster.
Speaker 3:It was. We would say back in the day, kind of a straight to vhs right straight to dvd straight to streaming or whatever would be now.
Speaker 6:Yeah, it had that classic line um, that you know the girl is sort of um, I guess you know from, uh, from a different status and like an equestrian and stuff like that, and he rides in on his motorcycle and leather jacket and I guess she has like a, like a love interest already. He goes, drop the zero and get with the hero.
Speaker 4:That's where that line comes from.
Speaker 6:That's where it comes from. Yeah. Oh my God.
Speaker 3:That's, that's such a nineties right there Boom well, yeah 80s, maybe even early 90s, early 90s yeah yeah. So you know, in in doing your questionnaire, hilda, and coming up with these songs, you could choose anything and you chose this movie in this song. Is there something about this movie or song that sort of means something to you more? Is there something more to the story of why you kind of connected with it?
Speaker 1:Well, first, when I read the question, you know, like a movie that instantly gets you to the song or the other way. You know so I don't know why exactly that part of that movie is like here. You know so that I don't know why exactly was that that part of that movie is like here. You know, I can play that, that scene over and over in my head. Um, I think it's like the comfort you know, like for that moment that song. They were together and seeing that and how they dance together, it was like comfort. You know, it was like it's happening and everything it's okay. This exact moment, you know. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I think it was that. I mean there are other. I mean, if I sit down and start thinking about more songs or movies and I I can say more, but some movies have like common songs or or not common, but but you can hear on the radio, you can, and that song in particular. I have never heard it before, so I know that song or the movie.
Speaker 3:Right, right Right. They're attached like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, I like that and in that sense of like and there and there doesn't have to be something more, I wasn't like, oh, you gotta, you know, come up with something. Sometimes it's just that and you're like you said it so well of just that moment, and it was something about that moment in the movie with the song that just hit you and it's there. You know, we like to say on this, you know, show um. A lot of times we don't choose the song, the, the song chooses us, right, and this seems like a perfect example of one of those moments where it just hit you.
Speaker 4:Were you like on the younger side when you saw this movie.
Speaker 1:Yes, and actually first I think I read the book. Oh yeah, my mom has a friend that is an author here in mexico and sometimes he just give us books and he gave me that book, you know, I read it and it was like, oh, this is so sweet. And and then I I heard that it was coming, the movie. But it's a sp movie Like here. I mean, it was a boom at the moment because it was like a very strong love movie. So I mean, when I saw the title, I was like, oh, I read that book, you know. So I never thought I was going to see it on the screen. And yeah, I think it started like that.
Speaker 1:That and I forgot the question it was if you were, if you were young, because I feel like when we're younger and we watch movies, we so attach like romance to like the song that would be playing when we fall in love yeah right, yeah yes, I was, I was young, I was, I was in high school actually yeah I was in high school so it was like that movie that it was like oh and the out the actor that played like the bad boy, it's beautiful. That meant it's beautiful it definitely the movie.
Speaker 3:Like I said in, in finding the song and did a little reading on the on the movie and things, just so everyone knows like I do all the research and get all the songs together, carolina and rosa are sort of kept in the dark and they're hearing everything fresh and so we kind of design it that way, so not everybody knows what's coming.
Speaker 3:Okay, um, and and when I was doing the research on this and looked up the movie, just I I think I watched like a little trailer or something like that and I was like, oh, I could see why people are into this he's got the motorcycle, she's gorgeous and everything, and you're like, yeah exactly totally well, now I have to check it out.
Speaker 3:Now I gotta watch the movie and this song, that this the vibe of this song, this sort of like you said. It's not like techno or house kind of thing, it's like 80s kind of chill like the vibe. It's like the movie has that feel to it. It's kind of like dark but kind of like. It looks like you know the Phil Collins song in the air tonight and like Miami Vice and how that always kind of looked.
Speaker 3:It was always nighttime and the lights that's how from the clips I saw, that's the look of this movie.
Speaker 6:I have to watch this movie.
Speaker 4:That's how that works. I mean, I told, you the end.
Speaker 1:I hope you don't mind, but yeah it's a good movie, that's okay.
Speaker 4:I'm going to root for them anyway, because now I'm not a teenager, so I'll see the red flags and be like I don't know, I don't know if I yeah, I, I saw that movie like years ago.
Speaker 1:I haven't watched it again and that's like how much that song stuck in my head, like I just saw the movie like one or twice and it's here. You know, it's right here and yeah. So I'm guessing, if you see it like in this time, there are going to be some things that, oh girl, no, don't do that.
Speaker 4:Don't do it, girl Run. Oh my goodness.
Speaker 3:Don't fall for the guy with the motorcycle right off the bat there can be other red flags, exactly yeah.
Speaker 6:Thank you, hold on.
Speaker 4:Yeah, hold on, I do believe you have a motorcycle.
Speaker 3:I do, I do, I do. I was young, in college and things and I wasn't always the best boyfriend.
Speaker 1:When I was younger. Yeah.
Speaker 3:I've grown. Thank you for sharing that. Thank you you for sharing that, that story behind it, and because I think what you just said is kind of really what we want. What we try and go after with this, with this show, is is, again, these songs, it's, it's. We're not necessarily wanting to know that song that you're going to blast every day and is your favorite song, or, you know, know, they call it desert Island songs Like what are the six songs you could listen to for the rest of your life. It's not that it's just these songs that, like you said, you didn't even hear that this much, but somehow it just boom, was in there and there's no getting it out. So I'm I'm so grateful that you, when doing the questions, answered it in this way and didn't overthink it. Right, and they're like well, no, let me try and find this other one. It's like, no, that one that pops up, that's, that's the one, and so, um, thank you for that no, thank you for doing this.
Speaker 1:Like it opened that door in my brain too, and I was amazed too, you know, like, oh, wow, I have, I have this, all the information, and I don't even like, I was not aware, you know. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm. Yeah, yep, absolutely.
Speaker 4:So, moving on to your next song, because sometimes music is that thing we listen to at parties and we dance and we think of movies. But sometimes music can have a therapeutic value, right, it can get us through a difficult time. So for your next song, what is that? One that has helped you through a difficult time or situation.
Speaker 1:It's Young and Sad by Noah Cyrus. I heard that song from I don't know, I think it was Spotify, like randomly, you know and it was some time in my life that I was like very down.
Speaker 1:I was and I don't know. Somehow at that time I was like I don't, I don't want to feel sad and I don't have reason. Like like you, push yourself, like you don't, you don't have to feel this way. You know you're not supposed to feel this way. So this song gets me because at the beginning it's like the dad calling his daughter to say, just like I don't remember exactly, but it's more like I know you're not being good or okay and I'm here and I love you, you know. It's like simple.
Speaker 7:Hey bud, this is old dad. Just wanted you to know you ain't alone. Keep a smile on your face, everything's going to be fine. I love you.
Speaker 1:And then the music starts and it says something also like that that I don't want to be feeling sad, I don't want to be young and sad another day longer.
Speaker 2:Don't want to feel numb or mad until I go under, and I know that you only want me to be happy, but I still feel lonely tonight. Don't want to be young and sad another day longer.
Speaker 3:Another day longer and just for anyone that's listening, that was Young and Sad, by Noah Cyrus, and the last name might sound familiar, and it is correct. It is Billy Ray Cyrus's other daughter, miley Cyrus's sister, noah Cyrus. Correct.
Speaker 4:I didn't know, there was another.
Speaker 3:So I learned something by this too.
Speaker 1:Yes, I was surprised too. The first time I listened I was like huh Cyrus, and you know that Spotify gives you the picture of the artist.
Speaker 3:and I was like, oh, I can see, I can see the resemble, you know, I mean, they're very different, but somehow you can tell yeah, yeah, and we're not trying to reduce noah cyrus down to just being miley cyrus's sister by any means, but just in the music trivia sense. Yes it connects yeah, so how does it feel hearing it?
Speaker 1:hearing it now well, it gets me, it troubles me a little about that time when I was like, and I listened to this song, like you know, on repeat, over and over and over and over and over, like for three days, you know, and I was like repeating it and repeated the song and I don't know it has it, has this the music is like sad, you know you can see like it's like like a melody, I don't know, like like soft and sad and yeah and you can hear like the voice, the voice of noah, like like I don't know.
Speaker 1:It has some something in in her voice that it's like sad you know you can. And and she even says something in the song about her sister, like my sister is the sunshine, or like the light of. She says something like that and I'm just, I'm not that you know. So, I don't know a lot about this song and how it's related to that you know, but I mean, I'm an only child.
Speaker 1:But when I live in Querétaro, one of my cousins, mariana, was living with my mom and dad because my aunt she had two kids, mariana and Marcelo, and Marcelo was diagnosed with autism and he doesn't talk and hyperactive and trouble sleeping and cishing, and so my aunt was like trying to Marcelo get some help and therapy and everything.
Speaker 1:So Mariana went to live with us, so I get to have that experience of a sister and sharing everything. And when I moved to Puebla, she moved to Puebla too. So we were living with my grandmother, my mom, mariana and I, and it was a crazy time too. So I don't know, I mean I don't feel right now in my life. I don't feel that shadow of her, you know, or like, like because she always had best grades and more pretty or that, that kind of things in my mind, you know, like now I can see that we're different and you know like we have a beautiful relationship right now.
Speaker 1:We are like sisters. But when I hear this song and how Noah felt, I was like, yeah, I can relate to that, you know, and all the things that she said on the song, I was at that time, I was like I can relate to everything. You know, that's exactly how I feel. I don't want to be young and sad, you know, right, I don't want to be feeling like this, but also she's like. I know you want me to be happy, but I still feel lonely.
Speaker 1:You know, I know everybody's here and I have people, but I still feel lonely and sometimes you just feel that way, you know you cannot say why, or you feel guilty, feeling like that, you know, like I'm young and I'm sad, I mean it's, it's not possible, you know, and sometimes that is yeah, you're young, you're just supposed to be like what do you?
Speaker 1:have to enjoy Right, exactly, exactly. So it's like a little like that, you know, like you want to force yourself to be OK, but it's also accepting when you're not OK and it's OK. Give yourself that time. And I think this song is very attached to me, because I let myself feel sad for three days listening to that song, you know, and the first part that the dad is telling like hey, kid, I love you, I'm here. You know, like I don't know. It feels like the dad knows she's not okay and the dad is like I'm here if you need me and she's like I know you're there, but I still feel lonely.
Speaker 6:Did I hear you say that you just this was one of those songs that just randomly was on your Spotify list. It just came on one day, right.
Speaker 6:Yeah just randomly, was on your Spotify list. It just came on one day, right, yeah, it's amazing to see how, um, this is a very nuanced message in this, in this song, and, and I think, um, uh, whoever the author of the song, the producer, you know what they're describing is something that not everyone would feel. And just to think that you know that it resonated with you and it was a completely random, you know coincidence, that you happened to be listening and then you listen to it for three days. It sounds like to really like digest it. It's amazing. Yeah it was crazy.
Speaker 1:Spotify. Just put it there. I don't know if they smell. Right, or they are in your mind or you know, like when you talk to anybody about a couch and then you're in your phone and an advice of couches appear, you're like what's going?
Speaker 6:on it's all good, it's like crazy things.
Speaker 3:This person needs this song right now. Yeah, I've heard some things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I sent something I don't know. I'm going to put this here and I'm going to go. And then I listened and I was like this yeah, and over and over and over yeah.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's like we said the song picks you. We've heard so many stories from guests of songs that they hadn't heard before, that they just randomly found, usually kind of at a difficult time.
Speaker 1:It feels like I wouldn't have believed this before Beyond, but now I feel like I could be like I think the universe sent me this song. Yes, right, yes, completely. But, you have to look at like in the present to the past. You know you cannot tell that when it's happening. But, when it happened, it's like, oh OK, everything makes sense.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah. And that's another thing I think we're, you know, getting at with, with having these conversations. You know we're not just trying to do just nostalgia, just like, oh, let's talk about times when we were in high school, just because, oh, it's high school and it's fun. But some of these realizations you only get after the fact. Like you said, you can go back now talking about this song At the moment. You might not have been aware of all the it's sending the universe is giving me this song and this is exactly what I needed at the time. You're just like I'm feeling this, this is the song for me, and I'm there now, looking back, you can see of like, yes, it was exactly what it needed to be at that time, and and and that's what I needed, and so, um, yeah, yeah, I was aware that Miley had a sister that sings.
Speaker 1:You know like it was very random and I was like, wow, I very related to this song.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So you said you listened to it for three days. What? What happened after the third day, sort of like you know cause you kind of like were with this song for three days and like you said you were just feeling the feelings right With this song. What kind of happened then after, like sort of like the next day, but then also kind of like, what did that time do for you going forward?
Speaker 1:Well, I think that was also just starting again with life. You know, like when you feel down and you allow yourself to be down and maybe you're living, but automatically, and I think I remember, like that time and I was just listening to that song, maybe I was going to work, I was back at home doing some things like laundry or but I was listening to the song, you know like repeat and repeat, and then I, I, I remember that I, I was with my boyfriend and I was like this is my song. I mean, this is how I feel, you know, and he tries to make me feel better.
Speaker 1:You know, we, when you have someone that you love that it's feeling down and they you this song to like. What do you mean? You feel alone, you know.
Speaker 4:Oh right, yeah, I'm right here, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I think it was also a little like hard for him. But I mean, with he he did his best, you know like. And I told him, like I'm not, this is not nothing to do with you. I mean, you're not even in this equation and I'm not thinking about you in this song. I mean it's just something mine you know from the inside. Right.
Speaker 1:Right, know from the inside right, and I think also like that, like I don't want to be sitting in this hole more time. You know I need to. I need to get out.
Speaker 3:I mean I I'm, I'm related to the song, but I'm still here, so I need to, you know right, get through it yeah, yeah, it's almost like it's a feeling, the way you're describing it too, especially I need to, you know, get to it. Yeah, yeah, it's almost like it's a feeling, the way you're describing it too, especially like you know, it connects a lot with me and just my struggles that I've gone through with PTSD and you know, talked about it in other episodes and talked about down and beyond and things like that. You know you said it so well that you know people around you when you're experiencing this down, dark, depressive, whatever it is time. It's not about the specifics in your life, right? It's not about I don't have a person, I don't have this, I don't have that. You can have all the things.
Speaker 1:Your life can be objectively good, but you're just feeling not that way and you have a struggle down in yourself because of that because you know you have people and you feel bad, feeling right that you don't like, like you feel alone, but you know you have a support system. But also you feel it's like I'm. I'm not allowing myself to feel this because it's not true, but but the truth I'm feeling this way right, right, yeah.
Speaker 3:It becomes a battle with yourself because you're like I shouldn't feel this way, but I do, yeah what do, I do yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 6:And then I think for the uh, for the outsiders, like in this example, like, for example, for your boyfriend, or or carolina, I mean, if there's a song that that that david mentioned to you, that, hey, this is a song I'm listening to. Or or hilda for you, you know this, this song, um, I can imagine for the uh, for the outside parties, right, it would be tough, um, when the song is describing how the person next to them is feeling on the inside, which you are not outwardly saying, but the song is describing it. It it exactly? Um, and yeah, I think that, again, this is it's the power of music, the power of songs, to describe that yeah yeah, I think you bring up a good point, raza.
Speaker 4:To be fair, it's not easy as the loved one of someone who's feeling down right, especially if you have your own things too and so you can like internalize your partner's pain and think is this something I did? Is it, am I not enough? If you know, like those kinds of things and I think you know a lot of us on us on this episode today have done a lot of inner work and I would say like now I'm at a point like that. I probably would have felt very down if David was like I feel down and there's a song and like the lyrics were like my life is terrible and I'm like you know, but now I feel like I'm at a point where I can say that's your journey right now and it's different from mine and it's going to be okay, but, but that resonates. It can be hard to be the loved one of somebody who's who's down. Yeah.
Speaker 4:Yeah, nothing to add. It's just hard.
Speaker 6:Yeah, nothing's bad it's just hard.
Speaker 3:I was just going to say and I think this is where, like you know, here we're talking about music, but it could be any kind of art, right, whether poetry, painting, music, whatever with something, and it's like this is what I feel, this is capturing what I feel. I know that can be very helpful to get it across to somebody else, because when you're struggling with these feelings and emotions, it can be tough to put it to words. You don't know what it is right, you don't know how to explain what you're feeling, necessarily, but then you get a song or a poem or something that captures it and you can show it to people and be like here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, yes, yes, and I'm, I mean with, with my boyfriend, I think. Um, he's diagnosed with depression and anxiety and I had, we had had that time too, where he's down and I mean I also can relate to that feeling and that's why I think, when I was listening to that song, I was, I tried to be clear with him. You know, like this is just a song telling how I feel. It's nothing to do with you or my mom or my dad or you know. It's something that just it's resonating with me and, as Carolina said, and maybe I wasn't aware of that that time, but that was my journey at that time. You know I was going through that and there are things that we need to go alone and when, where we can find some comfort is in a song that you can feel that you're not alone. You know that in any other part of the world, someone has the words to describe how you feel and you're not alone.
Speaker 4:On how you feel it can feel, at least in my experience, like so special that somebody can capture how I'm feeling in music. It feels like this like how did you know? Yeah, how did you know. And they put it like when that song picks you, it's like perfect, yes. You're like this, all of this, the verse, the chorus, like all of this is me right, perfect, yes, you're like this.
Speaker 3:All of this, the verse the chorus, like all of this is me right now. Yeah, yes, and you feel it.
Speaker 1:you feel it and you want to like continue listening, because every time you listen to the song, you relate it more and more and you're more like tuned to that you know yeah.
Speaker 6:Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then for the support system, that's usually as jarring, it's like I can't believe that that is how you're feeling and it's, it's a song um, right, yeah, and that's where the music can be.
Speaker 3:I think so helpful for that too, because a lot of times like uh, hilda, you were saying, and caroline you're, all of us were sort of saying it at times is like when you have someone you care about that is feeling depression and and these types of things, you love that person and so you want to make them feel better, and so when someone is explaining what they might be feeling, there can be that temptation on the other side to like show them love, do something to make them feel better, and it's like that's not right, that's not what you, and it comes them feel better and it's like that's not right, that's not what you and it comes from a good place, but it's not what you need at that point, whereas when you're just like here, listen to this song, you're just, you're not going to like argue with the song to feel better, you're just going to hear the song and be like okay, so it's it kind of is this separation that, I think, helps others kind of understand that for you too, because it doesn't, it doesn't immediately cause you to to come in and want to fix and help that person because you care about them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we need. We need to learn that we are not here to save anybody, you know, even though we want to. And if we can help, of course I'm there, I'm by your side, but I'm going to work with you in your journey as long as I can. But the journey is yours and that's something that I've been working on. I say it easily, but it's not something that I'm doing in my life. Actually, it's very hard because you love someone and you see them struggle and of course, you want to do something and you feel these. You feel like you have to do something. Not only because you want to, because you love them. You feel that is your duty. You know, like I'm the partner, I'm the mom, I'm the dad, I'm the. You know I have, I have a role and I have to help them to make feel happy again or not alone, or to feel joy. But sometimes it's just something that you need to go through and that's it.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Yeah, that's a hard lesson yeah, that's a hard lesson.
Speaker 3:I've got my Winnie the Pooh over there and in Winnie the Pooh, right, eeyore is depressed in the stories, right, and the big thing they do. They don't try and make them change, they don't make them feel bad for being depressed, they just always bring them along and invite them. Yeah, right.
Speaker 4:And that's kind of like a perfect example of what you got to do. Just totally be there. Just be be there, yeah, yeah, all right, I'm gonna move us to our next song. Yeah, because music can can also open worlds for us and expose us to new perspectives. So for your next song, what is that song that just opened you entirely to a new perspective?
Speaker 1:it's earth, earth, my Body, by Magic Clifford. I think I started listening to that song a few years ago but I didn't pay too much attention. I just like you know like a little bit drums. But at my new job here in Cancun and in beyond they put in more. And I don't know. It's a song that makes me feel that I'm alive, that I don't know like I'm connected with nature, that I don't know. It makes me want to move, you know, want to live on the jungle. Nice.
Speaker 3:Let's take a listen.
Speaker 7:Fire my spirit. Earth my body. Nice, let's take a listen.
Speaker 4:She's a beautiful voice.
Speaker 3:I know, yeah, that's good and, like you said too about just the percussion in the background is just so like just you feel it yeah, you want to like, yes, yes, let's move.
Speaker 1:You know, like and you. And the lyrics is like earth, my body, like earth and water, my blood, earth, my breath, fire, my spirit like the four elements, like let the earth get into you.
Speaker 1:You know connect, you know like you are earth because your body, you have water because of the blood, you have air, because of your lungs. You know you have fire in your spirit. I don't know, it's a song that makes me I don't know realize that I'm alive, that I have the four elements in me, that I'm connected with nature. I don't know it gets me me this feeling of being in a tribe.
Speaker 3:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 6:And it's so simple too. I mean, the message is simple, that part just hit me. But the song it's just her voice and then the little percussion thing. Very, very simple, but really effective.
Speaker 4:Yeah, in a like dancey but meditative way exactly exactly.
Speaker 1:You can be dancing that song, or you can be sitting down listening to that song and meditating, like being aware of what the music is saying yeah.
Speaker 3:So since you said you know you, you started listening to this song a lot more. You know being at Beyond and you know it's part of you, know it fits in with the message and everything down there, starting at Beyond and you know getting a little bit into sort of your professional life here as a nurse and things, but also you yourself, like how did that experience maybe change you in ways?
Speaker 1:Well, I think it's a job that changed my life completely. I mean, before I was in Cancun, I was living in Puebla. I was there almost for a year. So I finished college, I did an au pair year in Virginia. You know, taking care of kids and you live with the family and you have all the American experience, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then when I came back I didn't know what to do and a friend was working in a hospital here in Puerto Morelos and I sent my papers and they asked me to move to Tulum. So I moved to Tulum that's where I met my boyfriend and then we moved to Nuevo Vallarta, very close to Puerto Vallarta in the Pacific Ocean. We were there a few months. The life there, like it, was not what we expected. So we need to change. And then we go back. He was go back to Mexico City with his mom and I was in Puebla with my mom Because we were in a situation that we didn't want to pay rent and we have trouble with the work and it was hard, sure, at that time. So we lived separately for almost a year and it was very hard for us. So I was very depressed too. I was like 10 kilos down, as I am now. I don't know how much it's in pounds, but 10 kilos is a lot and um so when?
Speaker 3:I'm trying to do the math in my head. I'm going the wrong way with it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's hard, I don't know how much you will do. You lost weight, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the same friends were working here at Beyond, that's Diana and Anna, I don't know if you remember them, yeah. So they were like come here and they were calling me months and months and I was like it was hard because I didn't know if santiago want to come and I have tachuela and we had our little cat. So it was like hard traveling and so I delayed it a little bit.
Speaker 1:I don't know why, but at some point I talked to patty, we got the interview and I was like I'm in, I don't care if Santiago comes or no, I mean I need to be there, I need to move, you know. And then when I get to be on and I realize what kind of job it is and how it worked, and I was like they are paying me to heal myself too. You know they are. I'm here and I'm learning a lot, medically speaking, yes, but personally, oh my God. You know, like witness, only witness, the clients. They're like the patients, patients there, their own journeys and the struggles they have and how their processes, that's huge. You know, I cry a lot in there and, yes, sometimes there are some stories, there are some people that I mean it happens with you guys.
Speaker 1:You know, we click, you know and there are people that you click more than with others, and then I start like noticing more of me, like not I mean, yes, how I feel, but also energetically. You know that's what I've been learning a lot in here how energy moves, how sometimes someone gets in a room and that energy change. You know, and sometimes you are not aware of that and you just feel something and you start behaving differently, but you don't stop to see why. What's happening, you know, something on the outside is doing something in me. You know and I'm very grateful that I get to this job because I'm opening my mind a lot, Even though I haven't done the journey know, I was like like just being there, surrounded by people that are willing to work in themselves. It gets you that inspiration too. You know that you also sometimes someone tell a story about their lives and you're like oh my god.
Speaker 1:You know that that resonates a lot in me in my life you know, and there are some patients that triggers me or any other of my, my co-workers that we sometimes talk about, like this person tell me this and I feel this and it was like you know, like in good ways, in bad ways, you know like in good ways, in bad ways, you know like it's a mix. It's a mix, like, but yeah, it's been a life changing for me, like, especially that part, the healing of me, my own journey. You know, like walking alongside people that are healing somehow gets you to look into yourself too.
Speaker 3:Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Thank you for sharing that. And just for for listeners out there who might not be familiar with beyond and what we're sort of talking about, just to kind of fill in any blanks, for for folks you know, beyond is a clinic down in Cancun. It is a place that people go whether they're suffering from addiction, ptsd, trauma, anxiety, depression, and it is centered around the psychedelic Ibogaine, which comes from the Iboga plant from Gabon, and most stays are 10 to 14 days depending on what you're going down there for. There's all kinds of other things that are going on workshops and you know yoga and other, you know ways to connect with your body and things like that. But you have a medically supervised and assisted psychedelic journey with this plant medicine, ibogaine. Psychedelic journey with this, um, plant medicine, ibogaine.
Speaker 3:And so, uh, full disclosure, hilda was our nurse when I was down there and then, when Carolina went down two months later, she was also there and so, um, that's that's how our connection and how we're all here, uh, right now. And so, um, if you are someone out there who is struggling with, uh, addiction, ptsd, trauma, anxiety, depression, definitely, if you tried a lot of other things and it's not maybe getting you where you want to be, definitely look it up. We'll link all the things in the show notes and stuff like that. You can also go back. We did a special episode where I talked through my journey on six songs based on my journey down there and my healing journey six songs um based on my my journey down there and my healing journey, and so if you want to know more, you can definitely go listen to that. So, just so all of you out there that might be listening, uh, get a little bit more background on on what we're, what we're describing here.
Speaker 6:There was very recently, um, uh, the the hearing with with fda, um, about mdmas and things like that. It wasn't approved, correct, but there was a lot of information for one that at least the information's out there, the information got out there that there are other alternative treatments, that even though it might not be ready for approval in America via FDA treatments are out there and I think that more and more people are at least learning about it. So I don't know if you guys want to mention that.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I mean plant medicine by way of psychedelics is not legal in the US. Psychedelics is not legal in the US outside of ketamine, but that's a synthetic, not a true plant medicine. But there's a lot of advocacy going on, particularly from the veteran community, trying to get more plant medicine and even Ibogaine to be legal in parts of the US and even I began to be legal in parts of the US. It's so just effective and for folks who haven't listened to David's episode, we can link it in the show notes but you can hear his journey, I think. Just kind of tying it back to you, hilda, and your experience nursing I worked in healthcare for a little bit and when I started I was actually a sitter.
Speaker 4:I would sit with patients who were a danger to themselves, you know, had overdosed, needed to be watched, you know those kinds of things in the emergency room and I remember lots of patients who you know they detox for a night and I knew when I left my shift that they were going to be discharged and I was like, are they going to be okay? Like you never see them again? Or there's the people that you see all the time and you're like you're not going to make it one day or you know those things. I think that and it's so special that you get to see like a healing journey, like you get to see patients arrive probably at their worst and leave just healed and happy, like so many healthcare workers don't get to see that yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that is true. That is true. You see, here at the end, you see the whole process. To be honest, my heart has been broken for so many clients there that I cannot count the person. Each person needs to decide they want the change. If it's addiction, if it's PTSD, if it's addiction, if it's PTSD, if it's depression, whatever, the first thing that you need to do is you need to decide for yourself that you want to do that, because if you are not in that place when you are enough, I need to change my life, and I'm doing this for me because I want to do it, because I deserve a good life. You know, I deserve to have the control of my own decisions, of my body, of what I want to do, and the only person that can give you that is you. You need to decide that.
Speaker 1:So, first of all, I can see I always ask this question, or I try to ask these questions to the patients. They're like how did you find out about Beyond, how you're here? And some people say, oh, I hear the podcast, or one friend came, or I know the CEO, or you know, like everyone has a different story, but from that question I get so much information, like there are people that can tell me oh, my mom found this place for me, or my husband want me to come here, or. And then I can see that they are not choosing to be there. And for that moment I know it's going to be a hard journey. You know, sometimes I mean we're not there to fight the clients like, no, you need to do this and let's do the electron detox. And I don't care, give me your phone. You know we're not that kind of you're. You're, you're there because you want to be there you know Right right.
Speaker 1:So sometimes these I think that's one of the most hard parts that you can click with someone and you can have a, they can have a great journey and they still break your heart. So I think that's the hard part, but it has this beautiful, beautiful, beautiful part that wins everything. That is that part when you see people. Maybe they're not healed, you know, but you can see the breakthrough, you can see how they opened that door, you can see how they are willing to do the work. That is the most hard work that I think exists on earth to open your own door.
Speaker 1:Of the things you have inside, things you have done or not done, things that had happened to you, people that have hurt you, people that you have hurt, you know, like really seeing that and there are people that get scared of what they see. There are people that get very emotional, you know, and to be there and support that and also feel that you know, feel that you know. I don't know if every, every person happens to them, but sometimes when I'm talking to someone and they start telling me their story and I was like I don't want to cry. I don't know if I'm a good support system, but I want to hug you and cry with you, you know.
Speaker 1:But yeah, I mean it's it's, it's a beautiful process to see the change in the people's life, you know, and the goodbye process that we have, you know, like everyone there, and the song and the applause and the hugs, and that's very emotional, that's very special, you know, and when I hug every client in that part, I know that maybe it's the last time I'm going to see them and I just wish in my heart that they can start the work from there and just go up. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, it's a really good way to describe it too that sense of the you know being on the you know guest side, going down there it's you know 10 days.
Speaker 3:You're down there, but it feels like years worth of like work and change happens in just a short period of time. And so, yeah, when you're like I mean I remember leaving and so for you know people, I remember leaving and so for you know people that aren't familiar, when you are leaving, when you're at, everyone's arriving on different days, so every day there's one or two guests that are leaving and everyone that's there on staff and everything comes out, they play music, everyone's cheering and clapping and you're hugging and all these things and it it was tough. That was hard because it was like 10 days of like just an amazing experience, some of the toughest things I've ever done, but some of the like greatest connections and work and just lovely, uh, uh, kindness, right, and so you're leaving. It it was, yeah, it was. I was blown away by how, not just the transformation in myself through the work and the you know psychedelic and the experience and all of that, but how like just a powerful 10 days. It was just being there.
Speaker 4:In that sense, yeah yeah, it's hard to leave. Does anyone like not want to leave, like I'm not going there?
Speaker 1:there are some people like nope yeah, we have had some that. Or they start like do you have any opening jobs? I can't clean the pool. I mean, I just want to stay. I think sometimes it's also that part of you that knows that you're going back to maybe the things that made you come here.
Speaker 3:You know right so scary yeah of course you're like, hey, I was able to make these changes, maybe here, yeah, but in this kind of isolated environment. But when I go back, that's, I know that was something I was scared of. Like yeah, I'm scared to go back.
Speaker 4:Yeah, like yeah yeah, life is hard.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Because you, you change, you know, you make some changes, but when you come home then everything is the same. You know, Right, Right, and that's also very hard. I think we need to also start something to that.
Speaker 1:You know, like some things that help that confidence, you know like trust, trust yourself, trust that you are different and things are going to be different, because the changes start with you. And it's this domino effect, you know you start doing the things different and you're gonna have different results. And it's gonna. I mean, it's sudden, it's suddenly. You know it's not like phew, it's not a magic pill, it's not a magic situation where you, you change, and then you come home and everything is just like, oh wow, yes, let's meditate every day, let's gather together. You know it's you need to start building that life. But in that building the life, it's everything is gonna be changing around you, you know yeah yeah, absolutely well.
Speaker 3:I just want to thank you for your you know care and everything you gave when when I was down there and I know Carolina had, you know, the same experience.
Speaker 4:I just remember my nurse she was. She took care of me a lot.
Speaker 3:I just remember one time you, I had my IV in and it was kind of like like I caught it on something and so we took it out. And you took it out, and I just remember the way you put the Band-Aid on my hand. I was just blown away Like just, and it seems so silly, right, and I think that's why I was blown away, because you just had this extra level of care to like put it on and like just have this care.
Speaker 3:And I feel like so often, especially in the us, where medical care is just so just quickly. It's not that in and out it's not that the nurses and and the people that work here are bad people. It's a system that's just built on, just you know, gets you in and out. Um, that was just something just so, just different, and I just remember feeling so like, safe and cared for and at home. So, thank you that's.
Speaker 1:That is beautiful. That is beautiful and thank you guys. I just want you to know that it's an honor to walk with people like you, with this energy, these beautiful souls. Is this willing to do the work? You know this. It's something different with people that you know they are. They're doing the hard work for themselves.
Speaker 1:You know it's uh I oh, you didn't want to cry, but I don't know. It's something that it's very deep. You know it's different to grab a hand with someone that wants to do the work themselves. That someone's someone that you need to come on. And I know every person is different and have their own journey and some people need more help and we're there to help them. But there are some people that you just do some click and I don't know. It's hard to explain, but it's beautiful. I was very honored to walk with you through your journeys each one of you, All right.
Speaker 4:Isla, we are at your last song.
Speaker 1:I know I got to move us along or else we'll be here.
Speaker 3:Which we would love to but, We've got a free little therapy session.
Speaker 4:Well, and I think you know you're special to us. We kind of love you, so you know.
Speaker 1:I love you. Love to give you extra time.
Speaker 4:Yeah, all right. So for your last song to finish your six song journey here. What is a song that was part of a perfect moment where everything just felt right?
Speaker 1:Well, it was this song, Gozar Hasta Que Me Ausente, by Paloma del Cerro. It was this moment with my family, one time that after the pandemia, I was living in Tulum when the pandemia happened and I had, I think, less than a year living there. So it was hard People go to see me and it was hard for me to go see the family. So it was like three years without seeing anybody and no, like two, like two years. Um, felt like three, but still still a lot, yeah, a lot.
Speaker 1:Pandemic time is fuzzy, exactly exactly yes, so this one time that it was april and we decided to do a new year, new, new year's eve dinner, family, you know, on april, because nobody can on january. So anyway, we somehow get to gather most of the family and they were playing this song that one of my cousins found and just brings me joy, like I don't know. It's this part of the song that I'm going to enjoy life until I'm not here anymore, you know.
Speaker 3:That's sweet. I had to include um, cause sometimes, like when I'm when I'm pulling out the clip we're going to play, I sometimes will look at the lyrics. I'll look at what folks may have written in their questionnaire if they gave some details. Sometimes people will share a lyric, so I'll try and find that one. And then sometimes I just kind of don't really think about it too much and I just whatever kind of part speaks to me, I'll pick that and put it in. And then sometimes there's this interesting synergy where people are like, oh, that's the lyric that I was talking about or whatever.
Speaker 3:And I picked this part because, you know, it's this part of a perfect moment and I just love when she starts singing there and she's got that. Yeah, this gives that like it. Just like. Like I'm like, oh, my god, that's it, there it is. That's that perfect feeling. And then, of course, then I'm looking at the lyrics and translating and yeah, she's talking about um. I think it's like you know, um, you know, while I'm still here, before I'm gonna die, I'm gonna enjoy it and things like that.
Speaker 1:Or you can fill in the blanks yes, but yeah, it's pretty much that, like, I'm going to enjoy life While I stay here. I'm going to love life, I'm going to enjoy life, I'm going to, you know, like, not just live, I'm going to enjoy it. I'm going to, I don't know how, the exact translation of Gosash, I don't know if Carolina, if you know it.
Speaker 4:There's no direct translation. Gozad is just like to have fun, to enjoy, to enjoy.
Speaker 1:But I think that word gozad in Spanish is I mean, it's different. You know it's not just having fun or enjoy or joy, or you know it's these, I don't know.
Speaker 4:It's, it's these. I don't know it's, it's hard. It's like.
Speaker 3:It's like with your gosad, is like with your whole body, your whole, just like soaking in life in this joyous way like with your everything, yeah there's a similar struggle with um aristotle in ancient greek when he talks about eudaimonia and it's sort of like this flourishing and, and it gets translated as happiness, but it's, it's more than that it's like your full body, full like everything is sort of there. Yeah.
Speaker 1:You cannot just translate that word, you know, it's just not that simple.
Speaker 3:Right, we, we don't have a word in English for that, which is probably telling in other ways.
Speaker 1:But no for that, which is probably telling in other ways. But no, maybe we're not aware, I don't know. But yeah, I think it's that enjoy life, like really really enjoy life, the moments, and when the time comes you're just gonna go, you know, and then you're not well. Well, we don't know, but I'm guessing we're not going to enjoy anything or I don't know. But what I know is what I have here, you know, and and also like losing people I don't know gets you also. I mean, you're sad, you're grieving, you go to all those stages, but for me it also have these other window that I'm, that I look, you know, outside and I see these. You're here, you're still here, you know you can do things, you can enjoy things, and sometimes losing someone gets you this guilt of how am I gonna laugh if that person is not here? How am I? Going to be, happy.
Speaker 1:So it's also like looking into a different perspective. Like, of course I'm going to enjoy and laugh because that's a way to honor the people that is gone. I don't think that people that I love and pass away want me to be in my bed crying and not doing anything. You know, I'm guessing they will be like come on, get up, be happy, you know.
Speaker 3:so I think you still have more moments, so go go live on.
Speaker 1:Exactly exactly and with them in mind, if you want, and not feeling this guilt. So I think enjoying and loving and having fun is very important in life.
Speaker 4:I can imagine this felt pretty perfect, like the way you describe it. Coming out of the pandemic, you're separated from your loved ones. I think that's probably a universal feeling.
Speaker 1:Right, the whole globe went through this pandemic it wasn't just in one country, being separated from your family, your loved ones, by distance, by, you know, risk, um and so to just be reunited and together and sharing a meal, and then like this song yeah, of course, because it was a point I don't know if that happens to you, but it was a point in the pandemic where I think, like we're never going to see like all the family together again, I'm not saying not seeing them, but only like I'm going to see three or four people one day and maybe five another day, and you know like, and I need to wait seven days, so I don't know.
Speaker 1:For a moment it felt like it was going to be that the new norm forever. So when you get to get together again, I remember at that reunion I couldn't believe it. It was so many people in my grandmother's house and my grandmother, she and my grandmother she was like oh my god, she could even handle herself. You know, she was like very happy because all that I mean she's 93 and she lives alone still, and so she's she's very independent and she loves, really loves, just having the family together, you know. So you can see the joy in her face and that is just all worth it All right, that's it.
Speaker 4:How like that. So that was your six songs. Thank you so much for trusting us with your stories and the music that means the most to you. How does it feel hearing your life told through these six songs?
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, it's, uh, it's been a journey to you know, doing this it's really a journey. Journey it's sitting down and and like looking in yourself and seeing, like, how, really, like you're not aware how, much the songs are in your life you know how much they can bring to you.
Speaker 1:You know I was aware, for example, the young and sad song of noah cyrus. I mean, I I was aware that it helped me through a rough time, but I was not like or like I had. I I know that had happened, but I was not like really aware that that song helped me. Or that song like marked me. You know, like yeah, like sitting down and just doing the questionnaire helped me a lot. It was, it was really really a journey and like now seeing those songs like I sing them and I'm like wow, it brings me a lot of memories. You like it's beautiful.
Speaker 4:All right, um so we we finished the show with with a bit of a fun lightning round. Razel, take us through that.
Speaker 6:Perfect. Yep, um, hilda, it's been an absolute pleasure. What can I say? Thank you so much. Um, yeah, so let's have a little bit of fun. Um, our, our sort of last thing that we do is we want to know about concerts and we want to know about your, your first, your last and your best or favorite concert experience perfect.
Speaker 1:My first song that I remember in my life was the first. It was like a little show called the Bubbles, but I was very young, you know, like I don't remember a lot. But then I went to the Backstreet Boys concert when I was like I don't know like eight. It was the first time they were in Mexico and I was young. We went with my aunt and some of my cousins and we were like very excited and I remember I fell asleep on a chair and then I wake up, you know, and my cousin was the concert is finished. And she was like even they sing in Spanish, you miss it all.
Speaker 2:And I was like, oh, oh, baby, yeah, I was like oh, oh man.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was young. I'm one of the youngest of my cousins. I have one more that is younger than me, but then I'm the youngest, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 6:All right, so that was your first.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 4:What was the last concert?
Speaker 1:My last concert was Moon For Unsons in Washington DC. Actually, when I was doing the opera here they present in Washington DC so I get the chance to go to the concert again. Yeah.
Speaker 6:It was amazing. So my family lives in DC, up in dc area now, and I'm almost positive that, uh, one or both of my sisters were at that show whoa the world is so little, so small yeah, yeah, so cool, because they love mumford and sons, and they actually we did we. This was in one of our episodes one of my siblings introduced my other sibling and then they told my dad that he would love it and it's a whole family thing with Mumford and Sons.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for my family too. I totally forgot about that yeah.
Speaker 6:And then so, first last, what is your all-time favorite?
Speaker 1:My all-time favorite, I think it was Mum Moon, fire and Suns, but in Mexico City, because I went with my cousins, even though I had my nose like that, you know I have. So when I was young, like after the Backstreet Boys concert, I went to a concert that here in Mexico they do the like soap opera, I think it's like the telenovelas TV shows for kids and they they have like a group, they sing. You know Belinda was in it. I don't know if you're, you know Belinda, but that was a huge thing. So we went to the concert and then they announced that this is the last song. So I was like, yes, singing and everything. And then when I turned around, nobody was there. I was completely alone. My family just went and I suddenly was just like there, like, oh my God, what am I going to do? I remember I freak out, but I was like nobody can see that I'm freaking out. But I'm freaking out.
Speaker 1:So I just go to I think it was like a paramedic and ask for help and, long story short, the police take me home. So I have some issues with some concerts, you know.
Speaker 7:So in that concert we went with my cousins and I remember that I was like everybody needs to stay together, you know.
Speaker 1:So in that concert we went with my cousins and I remember that I was like everybody needs to stay together, you know. Like we cannot be separated.
Speaker 1:And one cousin felt bad and she was almost like fainting. So one other cousin, just take her like out of the crowd. And then one of my other cousins that is a huge fan, he was just like going in through the people to get to the front, you know. And then when the smash began, you know like all that, I was just like lost in the people too. And then I was like, oh no, it's happening again it's happening again, but at that time marcus moonfort was singing one song and he was.
Speaker 1:he started like going down the stage around people so I was like, oh my god, you know, like my mind just focused on that. And then I found my, my cousin. So at the end it was all good, but but I don't know, that concert was like after I was lost in a concert when I was nine and the police had to take me home, and then at that concert I felt like I was completely alone again and then just I really enjoyed Moon, fire and Sun and I felt safe. I enjoyed Moonfort and Sons and I felt safe, you know.
Speaker 1:And then when I saw like the show and they had like the Mexican flag and Marcus Moonfort was like going down the stage and going around people, of course everybody was like oh, that's him, you know. I was like, okay, this is my moment to start looking for the people, you know. But yeah, so I think at the end he helped me.
Speaker 6:Nice. So what could have been a little bit of a concert trauma, I think, ended up being a little bit, a little bit good at the end.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 6:Exactly Well, thank you. Thank you, that was awesome. I really appreciate that.
Speaker 4:Yeah, well, we've come to the end and so we'd love to, in the last you know few minutes we have, if you want to share anything with our audience, tell us anything you have going on, or social media if you're active and folks you know want to follow you, or whatever. Whatever you want to share in the last minutes.
Speaker 1:Well, maybe I think right now in my life, I would like to share just for people that, as you said before, about beyond, people that are reaching out for help, and if you want to like, get a research about the about beyond, we have people that you can call and they will explain everything that you need to know, and if you can have the opportunity to do it for yourself, I think it's a life changing experience. I can tell by my experience, only by working there, that it's a life changing for me.
Speaker 3:Excellent. Thank you so much for that. And yeah, if you're listening, there are more people just as awesome and kind and caring as Hilda down there too. So, if you have apprehensions about it, because it is a big step, I know, for me, when I went down, you know, flying down to another country going to do a psychedelic, it's like whoa intense. But the second I walked through the doors I felt right at home. So, no, if you go down there, you'll be taken care of and it'll be well worth it.
Speaker 3:So thank you again, hilda, for sharing your story with us um here today. Thank you for being the person you are and the caring, kind, professional. Uh, you, you are, um, all of you out there. You know what to do like subscribe, follow all the so you can hear new episodes. Uh, this is one of your first episodes you're finding uh, go back and listen to old episodes. Like we said, there's my uh special episode on on my Ibogaine experience. So if you uh want want to hear how that was like, if you are wanting to know more, you can do that. Um, you can do that. But with that, we will see you next time on A Life in Six Songs. Thanks for listening and watching.
