Evil dead, 1 groovy ass podcast

We discuss the 80s horror classic live from the Boo dog tavern

Check out our YouTube channel Para-letic Activities. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:01

Welcome to uh flick the screen podcast. We are part of what we part of, Neil. We are part of Paneletic Activities Podcast, which is behind us, Johnny Boy. Here's a gold star right there. It's a gold star for you. Never got nutsville, so I'm as lamon now. Uh today we are heading into the woods, Neil. We're heading into the woods, not them corner woods. We're heading into the woods. I'm not dogging either before you get before you get any funny ideas. Um we're going back to 1981 and uh see now the uh the remake in uh 2013 Neil. Yeah, scrap all that, ignore all that. We're gonna rewind, rewind Neil. Stop play top loader. Yeah, welcome to Flip the Screen Podcast.

SPEAKER_04 0:52

We're a part of Paralytic Activities Podcast.

SPEAKER_03 0:55

Uh if you look behind us, you will see the uh the old sign there that Johnny Boy's done. Well, there you go, there's a gold store for you. Today we are heading into the woods, Neil. That's where we're heading. Where are we getting on golfing? Not them corner woods, and now we're not dogging either. Oh, that's a shame, mate. We we're heading to the woods in 1981, and uh, we're gonna be going into a dirty, filthy, spooky, eerie cabin. Yes, people. It's a Dennis is the parking no, no, not the park keeper from Pleck Park. No, he's not him. Um, even though he still owes me a pound for that putter. God bless you, Dennis. Yeah, rest in peace. Is he dead? Yeah, he died. Rest in peace, Dennis. You were a lovely blow. Still has me a quid, though. Um, yeah, Evil Dead, Evil Dead 1981. And maybe a little bit at the end of this podcast, we're gonna see how the remake in in 2013 compares to the classic cult original. Our own grumpy old bastard, not Emia. Um, Seth Constantine is popping in with no doubt, another rant. So, Neil, all I've got to say is get your candarian dagger ready and your boomstick, and just say it. I'll say it. Can you hear the ice cream man? Can you hear the ice cream? You hear the back garden? He's putting the chocolate chocolate through the window. How'd you get the fucking van in the back garden? Have you got a 69? Sorry, sorry, a 99. We're all going dogging. Anyway, before we chat about the uh the evil dead, Neil, what have you been up to? You don't know what I've been up to. Yay boy. Well, I've just come back from Benny Don't quite tell about the tan John. I've got my lips fucking tanned and all that. Well, Neil, I couldn't tell if you had I've saw you get sunstroke in the fucking oil of Iceland, getting you getting your 20 fish fingers for 199. Oh man, that's all me at fish fingers anyway.

SPEAKER_04 3:10

What a fucking eye opener, Benny Dome. Anyone who's ever been to Benny Dorm, it is uh they say it's the um the blackpool of the Mediterranean.

SPEAKER_03 3:18

Someone tell me it's the it's the Las Vegas of England of Spain.

SPEAKER_04 3:21

Sorry. I wouldn't say that, John. But uh it is uh it's very lively, it's a lot of stag noise, a lot of end noise, a lot of nookcases everywhere you fucking went. There's one outside of the thing, and other than it is, Jesus Christ, and um it was I enjoyed it, man. I really enjoyed it. I've seen some good tribute asked John. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:39

I've seen a shared tribute walking around in the stockage as spenders and was sunny with her. No, John giving her a left hook.

SPEAKER_04 3:48

Um, I've seen a couple of Elvises, one was the uh the old fat Elvis, you know, from the when he started it the tablets and drinking, bugging every is it true, is it true what people said?

SPEAKER_03 3:58

My brother obviously went with him, and he goes uh he was in the in that little bar and Elvis was uh doing a tribute, and then he he buggered off stage and he went into the bog. And everyone's going, you know, what's Elvis doing? And then he came out, burst through the door in his um his white leather, his white um sequin um leather costume. Was it leather nail what he wore? No, but anyway, it's sequins on it, it was white, and um he said uh Elvis has left something in the building. The dirty gets. Oh no, we didn't know I dad push it all, is it even dirty gets? I don't know. Carry on. Um, yeah, and uh I've seen I've seen the drifters, John. Yeah, not the chocolate bars, the drifters, they were good.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

You're more there in a murder my little red book.

SPEAKER_04 4:39

You know all that. Yeah, and I've seen the jersey boys, John. Oh nice, yeah. Um did the wear jerseys. No, John, you know the jersey boys. You know you were very uh you were uh what to call it. What?

SPEAKER_03 4:50

Um I know my music.

SPEAKER_04 4:52

I know you know your music.

SPEAKER_03 4:53

Yeah, you know what's his name, John? Who done gracious the word? Frankie Valley. Frankie Valley, you know all that, don't you? Yes, I'm I'm John I'm being pedantic, Neil.

SPEAKER_04 5:01

Big girls down crying all that.

SPEAKER_03 5:03

Really enjoyed it.

SPEAKER_04 5:04

Really good. Yeah, good. Um I was gonna watch Eminem, but um Eminem tribute there, John. But you know, I'll I'd I'd dare give it a girl. I thought that's a wrap.

SPEAKER_03 5:16

I'll pull this right bird, John. Did you tell you what you well you had told me? I'll tell you what. Have you finally have you finally got your rocks on? I'll tell you what, John. Listen to this. Did you rock the Casbar? Listen to me. Did you rock the Casbar?

SPEAKER_04 5:30

Um I went for a note from oh don't worry about that. Anyway, I'm not saying that you've got fucking cornberry flags, John, but I had to take a stockings off for the key.

SPEAKER_03 5:41

No, lovely wedge, yeah. I hope you ain't gonna get no spam after that comment.

SPEAKER_04 5:46

I know, yeah. Do you know what I mean? It might do, John. But uh it'd be nice for a comment, wouldn't it? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:53

I hope you fucking spam me, Laura. Anyway, Neil, anyway, I've got an announcement.

SPEAKER_02 5:59

Have you?

SPEAKER_03 6:00

Got an announcement. Um, yours truly, and uh, I think Neil, Luke, and Mr. Noyge, Mr. Uh Count Mocula is got is got a little section in uh the upcoming Fate and Fortune magazine. Yeah, now I now me, us, Neil. Oh you us, all of us. Oh yeah, yeah, paralytic activities. Oh yeah. Uh, because uh they asked for my story a year and a half ago, and they've only just got round to it. So yeah, so we're gonna be in another magazine. How about bloody that? Fight and fortune, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:31

Fight and fortune.

SPEAKER_03 6:33

I'm up with that on my on my boy now, John Smith on Facebook in Fight and Fortune magazine. See you more as well, John. Plus plus the observer, yeah, and once I was on Telly on Pointless TV personality, haunted magazine as well. Haunted magazine as well. I've been in more magazines than a dirty old bastard. My fair as we've been there, yeah. I know. Uh, anyway, please, people. Um, I like to say this at the end of the podcast, but please like, share, and if you wanted to subscribe, it's totally up to you. But you know, any if you want to do any of that, that's all that's all great. You know, I'm not twisting your arm or anything, but uh we'll find out who you are, and we're gonna send the Iran.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

It's a super that's a nice six-foot blonde with all his pins, you know.

SPEAKER_03 7:24

She ain't a bowler, Neil, she's not bowling. Well, she ain't a blowing flowing hair. Brian Brian May had lung flowing air. Females, by the way. I don't know. Neil, you could be picky. Last time you got laid, the Berlin Wall was still there. David Aslop dodging bottles. I'm gonna do me now.

SPEAKER_04 7:48

I mean, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:49

Well, about time you uh actually rock the Casbar to bet bloody time. You don't know nothing about me. I've got the fireworks ready, Neil. It's gonna be it's gonna be like Walt Disney World out of a pleque. Oh, yeah. When I see some fucking bangers, I'll let you know. Anyway, yeah, so if you could do all that good stuff, people it'll help our little channel uh grow and grow and grow because we're new to the old movie scene, yeah. I'm so yeah. So anyway, Neil, before we uh get stuck in to uh this podcast of the evil dead, I'm just gonna quickly quickly Evil Dead in a nutshell. Oh yeah, yeah. So basically the synopsis to the 1981 Evil Dead. Now, Ash, his girlfriend, and three pals hike into the woods, they're in a car, really. Um, to a cabin for a fun night away, if you know what I mean. Do you know what I mean? But there's not six of them, Neil. There's any five. So whether or the one's gonna be left out, or someone's having to threesome. One of the two, you know. I'd be I'd I'd I'd I'd be happy with either, to be honest. You know, back in the day, John. Yeah, you know, like now if you go through a cabin in the woods, yeah. Uh-huh. You get to meet the people who you've or in the cabin off. Not back in 1991 now, because you have to go out the fucking bridges that have fucking nothing left of them. They got banging, bang, bang, bang, everything bang. You're talking to the fucking back, mate. That's the threesome giving on that. Is I'll tell you. But no, you're missing the point. It was their parents' house, their parents' cabin. I don't know if it was Ash, Cheryl, Cheryl, or Beryl. I don't know, I don't know whose cabin it was, but it was the parents anyway. Uh, so yeah. So they're gonna have a fun night away. Couple of drinks, you know, a couple of uh packs of bombay, mixed scratchings, that all works. It's gonna be a great night. Um, but find an old book, Neil, the Necronomicon, whose text rewakens the dead. They almost fight for their lives or become one of the evil dead. Oh god, have some of bloody that Neil. So, what would you do in that scenario before we crack on? What would I do? Yeah, so you're in a cabin in the woods in Pleck Park, you got you got you got Dennis, the parkeeper, as a dead house. You've just rewoken him from the ground. Rest in peace, Dennis. He'll he'd he'd laugh at this, Neil. Um, you've just rewoken Dennis and he's come back as a zombie dead house. What would you do in that scenario? Um I don't know, John. Um, I'd absolutely shit my pants just to be honest with you. Yeah, you're just scared a lot. If I'm used to on the pitch and put, you just never go at me. I recall you shitting yourself just playing pitch and put with any dead hoy. Exactly. So, anyway, now let's get into it then. So, obviously, I don't know what you know about the evil dead because it you said it you said to me the other day it's been a while since you watched the evil dead. Yeah, am I right in in in saying that? I do remember. I'll tell you what, there's any film, right?

SPEAKER_04 11:01

If somebody says to me about a film, I always pick a bit out the film that I always remember that you sort of shit me up, that made me laugh, or whatever.

SPEAKER_03 11:09

Okay, can you just whisper that in my ear? That's it. Yeah, because then I might I might have it all written down and we'll get to that point. Just whisper. Okay, okay, yeah, we've got that brick down, so we'll get to that, Neil. So basically, we're just gonna start with um obviously the scenario. I mean, what used to scare me, Neil, was the beginning of the film. When the car is just slowly, that's what I mean. He said it's hiking there. There wasn't a car. I don't know, they can't hike in the car, can you? You can each hike, but you can't hike anyway. So the the car's slowly going through the woods like that, the music playing, but you can hear like this kind of breathing and that and like noises, and and it's already gripped you, hasn't it? Do you know what? It's just gonna be one fucking scary film. It is because a lot of films, right?

SPEAKER_04 11:58

A bit like the the Lost Boys and that, when you're scooing across the lake or across the lake, yeah, the shining was the same.

SPEAKER_03 12:05

Yeah, and and this is the same evil dead when it's going across the lake, and then you've got the woods and that it grips you straight away. It does, it does, it does. And obviously, then you can hear John, John that's me recreating the um the swinging chair, it in the uh it in the cabin. You can think, Jesus Christ, that's it's got me already. I'm gonna turn it off. I ain't gonna watch this, not on my own, anyway. But anyway, so they get in the cabin. The cabin, do you know, even though it only looks like um a one-bedroom cabin that one person could live there? It is the size of an of an hotel inside there's rooms galore, there's basements, there's four rooms, there's corridors, and all everything's going on in there. Jesus wept, it's like the TARDIS, but anyway, they go down to the cellar. Well, the cellar kind of opens up on its own. I just want to start now with the um the Necronomicon, or as it's called, the Naturum Dimonto, a Sumerian version of the Egyptian book of the dead. Now you've just got you got this book in your hand, Ryan. Yeah, which is rare for you because you don't read, do you? I do read. What do you read? You don't say you can betting slips because that that is all I've ever seen you read. Rubbish. What do you read then? No, I've read louder books. Name one if the only re unless they're a pop-up book, it's a happening. I remember is there any person I know with a pop-up porno book? John, the only thing that pops up. I wouldn't mind it was a male cocktail borrowed off you yourself, guess what? I nicked it off. Dennis down the book. Rest in peace, Dennis. Oh, what was you gonna say? The Necronomicon. Yeah, yeah. Well, you've got this book in your hand, yeah. It's it's made out of skin, Neil. It's made out of human skin, yeah. And it it everything is written, even the synopsis is written in blood, even even the intro of the book is written in blood. I'm sure it says, Um, thanks to um thanks to Auntie Mary and uh Uncle Kevin for um inspiring me to write this book, it's in blood.

SPEAKER_04 14:19

How did you know it was human skin though?

SPEAKER_03 14:21

Because it it says it when he's in the when he the play of the type recorder. The play of the type recorder, and it says we found this this uh Egyptian book, the book of the dead, the necrocommonon, the natural de Monto Neil, and it said it's it's bound in uh human skin and it's written in blood. Yeah, yeah, that that's how I know because I've watched the film, right? A lot of times.

SPEAKER_04 14:44

So you that basically look at men of somebody's body.

SPEAKER_03 14:48

Well, I wouldn't say that you said it was an old back book. What do they use as a bookmark? You don't want to know his fucking his fucking bollocks, he's told you anyway. I know you better strap yourself in. I am already strap yourself in because I am now gonna read out the incantation, the incantation to raise the dead. Okay, so just make sure if you feel if you feel a bit funny, tell me to stop. Um I don't speak Latin, so I'm gonna give you my best shot. Oh man. Tatra uh Mistrobin Azata Tantia Manoff Manzizon Hazanzaba Sumunda Ropsa That His Haka Dun Sradosa Kanda Kanda Kanda, and then the Rolls out the ground. Oh that was pretty good, wasn't it? How come that I've been using a song? Down now, Neil. You know what? Maybe it should. I reckon it should, yeah. You should do your own song. If Diamond Alborn of the Grillers can just press a button and go din d and Mech Clint Eastwood, what went to number one. Surely, surely you could do it. All right, well, I reckon I reckon so. Call it the Kanda Kanda Kanda. All right, yeah, it's it's a Sumerian devil version of the conger. You put your left arm in and you leave your arm there, it's fell off. So, yeah, hopefully we'll get now dead oids popping in on uh on the on this edition of uh flick the screen, but you never know. You never know. We've had an ice cream, man. We're already so yeah, we're still weeping out there, yeah. So Neil, we've just done the incantation, we're in the cabin. Yeah, you've just read the uh the pop-up book of the Necronomicon. Yeah. Who's getting it first? You got don't forget you got Ash, the main man, then you got Scott, you got Cheryl, you got Linda, and you got Shelly. Right? Yeah, I think it is um who's the one who who's on her own. There's there's one on the well, there's there's two blokes and there's three birds. Two birds are with Ash and Scotty, there's one with nobody. It's her who's gonna get it first, isn't he? Oh, yeah, 100%. Yeah, it's hard to give her a first, but that's well, I think it's it Linda is gonna um get a bit of wood off um off Ash, and I think it's um Shelly is gonna get a bit of wood off Scotty. Well, unlucky Cheryl, you're gonna get a bit of wood off the forest. Oh, yeah. Because obviously she's the first one to be attacked by this unseen demonic thing. We don't even know what it is yet, do we? Yeah, it's just a basically a noise of a bit like Neil's belly growling in the in the morning because he all he's added all together to it is a bowler sprouts, um and that's all you can hear. And obviously the camera, the camera going and towards the cabin and looking through the window. Do you know what I mean? Did you know when the um well we'll get to that in a minute? I'll get back get to that. So Cheryl's gonna get it. She she she hears the words uh join us. Join us, yeah. I don't know where. And um, she's drawing now, she's drawing an old clock. I did say clock. Why is she drawing a clock? You did you're out with your mates, right? You've just got to an old cabin, yeah. You just think, right, let's get the beers going. Let's let's let's have a bit of marijuana, let's you know, let's play some like strip poker or something, let's have a laugh. But no, good old Cheryl, no one's on her own, is in a room on her own, drawing a clock. So, anyway, she decides to head into the woods. Now the woods are pitch black, you know. Never pitch black, they're like can it chance on a on a Wednesday night. Yeah, now there's mist everywhere, everywhere, Neil. It looks creepy as shit, but Cheryl doesn't give a shit, she just wanders out in the woods. I don't know what she's doing.

SPEAKER_04 19:08

You're a car two with that.

SPEAKER_03 19:10

What's a kai two, Neil?

SPEAKER_04 19:11

It's um an EMF major, John. Yeah, EMF the band. Yes, it's unbelievable. Yeah. Oh god, I'll go to our paranormal. Let me just let me just turn him back on people. Let me just turn back on malfunctioning here. Yeah, that's to our paranormal people, John.

SPEAKER_03 19:29

Yeah, that was the ones what may still watch. I doubt it because you know, once you're out that field, you're out. I tell you, you're out, you ain't getting back in. You ain't getting back. It's as simple as that. No chance. You're gonna have to tell Neil Packer where you're doing a podcast at the parameters. I reckon we should do it. So, anyway, poor old Cheryl who likes drawing clocks. She heads into the woods, she gets riped by possessed trees, Neil. Can only with the trees gonna be. But when I first watched that scene back in the day, when we had be on a pillar, where it was the pillar. I said, not that head, this head popping my head out, and these these vines have like spread ego the legs and this big trunk, boss I'd have some of that. Put years across, it's kind of blows all over again. It's terrible, yeah. It's it's terrible. Obviously, now Cher now now put poor old Cheryl, she's in a bit of a mess, right? And she heads back to the uh the cabin and she looks a bit worse for wear, a bit like she's been down Warsaw on at the slicker till about two in the morning. Well, no, come back covered in blood for the log of so yeah, they'd sit her down, you know, give give it give it a pen and paper and sort of draw the other clock over there. Well we want to we want to have a nice catalogue of clocks by the time we go home. So yeah, and Linda, this is Ash's missus, and and Shelley, who is um Scotty's missus, are playing cards now. Well, they're not really playing cards, they're playing, you know. When you you put a card up and you go, Can you guess what it is? Yeah, you know, that that old trick, the old, you know, the old Peter Venckman trick. Yeah, yeah. Then obviously she keeps saying Queen of Spades. Now you're wrong, but you're right. Think kind of trick her. And uh old Cheryl, the uh the clock drawing psychopath is looking out the window into the darkness. She starts reciting the cards. What Linda is showing Shelley. How's she doing that now? What's gonna happen here? The music's changed, the mood has changed. No one's laughing anymore. No, no, it was all fun and games, you know. That Scotty and and Ash in the corner, listening to listening to a bit of Super Tramp. Do you know Supertramp in 1991? Yeah, whatever. Super Trump was in the 70s now. Oh, think of the Supergrass though. Yeah, Super Trump, you know, yeah, dancing in the corner.

SPEAKER_01 21:56

A couple of thinking look at my girlfriend. She's the only one again.

SPEAKER_03 22:04

Yeah, look at a fucking playing card. Jesus Christ. I bought 20 condoms. We move ain't gonna be using them. I'm okay. One for each branch. Fucking hell, we get the we're getting the Yahtzee out in a minute. Fucking of a part is this. What's out here? Anyway, so the playing cards. Now Charot is guessing everything, what's going on? The mood has changed, the music's changed, Neil. Completely changed. All of a sudden, she's she's reading out the coach. You can't see them, Neil. She stands up, her eyes, her skin's changed, her eyes are white like pickled eggs. She's over in six foot above the ground. It's like a normal knight at the Orange Antiques Research Center. So basically, she's uh she's possessed now. She's possessed. The trees have now possessed her, right? And she's there, obviously floating in the air, or heads all over the shop, and she's going, you know, you're all gonna die. We're gonna get you all. You know what I mean? We're gonna get you all, and then she just collapses. That's when you see one of the one of the a scene where I'll stick with a lot of people for a long, long time, Neil. It's one what people mentioned. I remember in the playground, Neil, when I was at school, and people, oh, we saw the evil dead. Do you remember the scene where she stabs her in the ankle with a pencil? Yeah, thank god for that. Stabs her in the ankle with a pencil, not drags it down her ankle. Uh just the thought of it, Neil. Just the thought of it. But you know, Scott, you know, Ash is kind of the hero of the Evil Dead franchise because there's been a lot, Neil. But in the first one, Neil, Scott is the hero. Scott didn't give a shit. He fucking killed everybody. He was that odd, he killed himself in the he killed himself. But anyway, so he just gets Cheryl thinking, you know what's happened to her. Her eyes like pickled eggs, her skit her skin looks like fucking um two-month-old ham. And now she's reciting um devil worshiping, and now she just stabbed uh my girlfriend in the in the foot with a pencil, bosh yeah, fuck off, fucks her down the cell, happens to cell up, bang, there you go. Have some of that. Neil, the party's gone pair shaped. Oh yeah. Party's totally gone pair shape now. Do you know what I mean? I mean, we've been to parties like that. Oh, we have, yeah. Yeah. But basically, Neil, one by one, they all start to get attacked by the co-I'm gonna call them dead rights because that's what they're called. So they all get possessed eventually, and they all they all um get attacked by dead odds. That's when the um the chaos ensues. The the mood's changed. Scott now is wielding an axe, Neil. And they're also downstairs, they found a Sumerian dagger, which basically, Neil, that dagger. I don't remember the dagger, it's got a skull on it. Yeah, that dagger is a piece of shit, doesn't do anything. You remember he stabs his missus, Scott does, and uh the blood's coming out the other end at the mouth, and there's all these weird noises going on, and she dies, but then she comes back to life. So, what's the fucking point? No point. But this is where this is where the chainsaws come into each. There's always we're not into a chainsaw yet, Neil. I'm just saying, there's always chainsaws in every horror film, they're always full of petrol. Well, actually, you're getting it all wrong. There's now a chainsaw in the evil dead. There is there isn't evil dead two, not evil dead one. I'm sure there is, John. No, or is there? Yeah, there is. There are we'll have a look later. Okay, maybe there is. I can't remember. I'm sure it's evil dead too. But anyway, Scott's got an axe. So now his missus has been banging for the last four years. He was gonna marry her, he just fucking lobs her into little pieces, Neil. He chops her up into bite-sized nuggets. First time you went the jury splitter in two days. So her arms are there on the floor, just wobbling about her feet, her ankles, her tits, they're all just shaking about on the floor. Scockers, but basically, Sherald is down the cellar, she's fucked up. Yeah, his missus, Shelly, is now in little pieces, little bite-sized pieces, like Lego bricks, shaking around on the floor. So Scockers. I'm fucking out of here. I'm fucking out of there. I would have been out of there a long time ago, John. But Ashley's going, you can't go anywhere because obviously that is Linda who got stabbed in the ankle. She's uh in bed, he's just in bed, she's gone to bed. I've had enough of this. I've gone to bed. Even though she's gonna get lead poisoning off the pencil, she is. Yeah, so she's in bed. Scott goes, you know what? Fuck you, fuck your missus, and fuck that bitch downstairs. I've just chopped my missus up, I'm out of here. And he fucks off now. He just fucking does one and fucks off. Well, you remember Linda, right? Linda, yeah, yeah, who's had the pencil in uh in her uncle. David, Scott's fucked off. It's leaving Ash and Linda now, basically. Cheryl's fucked up down the cellar, yeah. Yeah, saying telling him to join him, join her. What's a good what's going on down there? I'm not gonna join you, Cheryl. Thank you very much. You got always loaded pickled eggs, it is it ain't happening. So Linda's in bed, yeah. She's Ash's girlfriend. He loves her, he was gonna propose to her. She even got a little necklace, a little mag a little magnifying glass. Yeah, and uh all of a sudden she just starts getting possessed, Neil. She ain't feeling too good anymore. As she turns around now, she's on the floor looking like a crazy ass doll. I'm sure I saw that in the aunting. I'd take it. And this is the bit you whispered in my ear. Go for it, Neil. Take it away.

SPEAKER_01 27:56

We gotta get you. We ain't gonna get you.

SPEAKER_03 28:01

Can't shit the life out of me when I was a kid. It still shits the life out of me now. I don't know what it is. I remember that's the one thing I remember about the evil dead.

SPEAKER_04 28:09

I know he used to fucking tease me and warm me up. So I just shit myself. How did I used to tease you? Whoa, everybody fucking horror film we ever watched. Used to make me watches, and then I'd have nightmares and then uh do my mum's bed.

SPEAKER_03 28:22

Neil. You were 16 at the time. Oh one, John, you know, you know, and it's a bigger bed. Yeah, Neil, so uh again, it's an iconic scene, and it is quite chilling, eh?

SPEAKER_01 28:36

It is weird gone.

SPEAKER_03 28:37

Well, what what the what the the new Gen Z or think of it? I don't know. Do you know what I mean? But back then, I was like, this is terrifying. It is this is absolutely terrifying. You got that ugly bitch downstairs, you got fucking heading lego pieces in the corner. Scott's fucked off, he's gone fucking conquering the summers, probably gone scrumping, get some apples, and now you've got Linda on her haunches, cross-legged, looking like some crazy doll who done a makeup. It's good, already.

SPEAKER_02 29:09

Who done a makeup near? I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 29:12

Who done who'd done the makeup nail? I'm not trying to. Was it Ash? Was he playing along all this time? He had he's got a secret um make up talent. He just didn't want to tell anybody.

SPEAKER_02 29:24

I don't know, but we're gonna get you.

SPEAKER_03 29:28

We're gonna get you. Stop it, John. Sorry, you know, nightmares lighter. But Ash being Ash, he stops being a little pussy and he comes to the four nail and he decides he's gonna kill Linda. Fuck this. I ain't having that creepy ass doll-looking screechy little bitch. Yeah, telling me we're gonna you're gonna get me. You you're gonna get this. Yeah, he gives her a knuckle sandwich, gives her a knuckle sandwich, a couple of them, bosh, bosh, bosh, my toys, and a van of Holyfield and that. It's even worse when she's sitting there laughing. She don't give me shit, nail. You can't beats her up and just on a round house now, yeah. So anyway, he sparks her out and decided to drag her outside. Yeah, now he's gonna bury her, he's gonna bury her, but she she she starts to be herself again, nailed. She comes around. Oh ash, oh ash, I love you, ash, I love you, ash. Please get me out of this dirt ash, and ash like a twat, fucking balls for it. Fucking falls for it. Now, here we go, right here, right now. She turns back into a possessed Linda. Yeah, and starts jump. When goes to jump at Ash. The jump is like some Jonathan Edwards could have done. I've never seen anybody jump so wide in my life. Well, yeah, luckily, Ash has got a shovel in his hand. You've been down being cute. Well, you didn't know this, but Ash is good at makeup, he's also good at um shrubbery. Yeah, he was gonna he's just better to bury a couple of cabbages, plant a couple of cabbages. Was Alan Tishwang with him? So, anyway, he gets a shovel, bosh out, have some of that, heads are rolling, the head's lobbed off. Linda's fucking gone, she's dead. But as the body lands down on ash, just tries to get off with ash. Knickers knackers knockers, yeah. So the the the severed head, well, the severed body with no head, is on top of ash, grinding out in some of that, yeah. Reversed and necrophilion it. Yeah, don't forget, we've already seen someone get right by a tree, yeah, which don't happen very often. No, I wonder I wonder if that's how Groot came along. Well Groot, no, you know Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy, the the the creature the creature with wood now. You've been on the road. John, but have you heard of Groot? No, the the wood thing, the wood man, and he walks. No, well, anyway, that's that's Cheryl's kid. So, yeah, she's she's been um touched up by a tree. That's Cheryl's kid, had a bit of wood, right? Bark is easy, Bark Simpson, and now there's been a bit of reverse necrophilia with it with the the the corpse getting it off with a live person, have some of that. So I think I've fucking had enough of this shit. Scott's fucked off. Um so he goes back in the cabin. Wise move, last thing I want to do is go back into that fucked up cabin because fucking crazy ass pickled onion or Cheryl, he's still in the bastard cellar, Neil. And I wouldn't be, I'd be I'd I'd have been gone a long time ago, John. I would not be going back into fucking there. I know, near me neither. But you know, you know what's happened, Neil? Well, the fucking the uh the cellar doors open, Cheryl's fucking skyped as bastard as Skyped. Hell I don't know. She'll all fucking David Blaine. Unbelievable. Has she got out of that fucking UD? So basically there's a phone or fight in the film. Scott comes back, he's all fucked up, he dies. The trees have fucked him up. Yeah, he just dies. So he comes, he gets reanimated as a dead oight. So he's gonna attack Ash. Cheryl, or Cheryl, no matter what you call her, she's a fucking dead anyway. She attacks um Ash. They have a bit a bit of a fight. The book, the Necronomicon, is is is there again, it was on the table, just sitting there, waiting for something to pick up and have a good read. Um, that goes near the fire, and uh eventually um the book goes in the fire and starts to melt. Yeah. So now the remaining dead oiles are just stopping the tracks now. They just stop, just freeze. I wasn't making that noise. That's that's how bad my neck is. Is there a frog in there? So they just stop and start doing all this weird shit. Then all of a sudden they start melting. Remember the melting scene there. Well, you can tell that it's it's actually just watching like watching Wallace and Gromit at a fucking bucke party. Just wax and shit melting everywhere, cockroaches, fucking corn syrup, everything. It just looks a mess. Yeah, white liquid flowing out the throats and out the the chopped up arms and shit. It's just a gooey mess, Neil. Yeah, it's a gooey mess. So, yeah, so all that's going on, all of a sudden, some uh some massive arms just pop out the bodies down there, if you remember, and like all ash gets covered in all this shit and gunk and that, the books burned, the dead eyes are gone, the fucking dawn breaks. Ash has survived, Neil.

SPEAKER_02 34:53

How the box has survived?

SPEAKER_03 34:55

It survived it, Neil. It's covered in shit. He's gone through the mill, right? Everyone's dead apart from Ash. The sun has rose, the dawn has broken. He goes, Oh, I'm gonna have to. I've escaped, I've survived, and then he's thinking, Oh man, I've got a right walk home. I've got a right walk home. I don't even know where I am. He could have got an Uber, all right. But anyway, so as he's walking out, here it comes Neil. Ooh, the camera starts panning through the trees, knocking trees over. All of a sudden he goes into the cabin, knocks the door open, knocks over the fucking grandfather clock. She had a while be happy, shouldn't finish that drawing. And um goes to the one, and there's Ash, he turns around, end of film. End of film, Neil. Do you know what? What a fucking film. Yeah, what a film. You never saw what the uh actual demon was. Then you saw the dead artist was probably the kind of the concubines, you know what I mean, or or whatever you want to call them. That was there, there was like um like the infantry of the army. No, they were doing this unseen forces, bidding. So Neil, Evil Dead, what did you think?

SPEAKER_04 36:05

I love the Evil Dead, John. Even though it shit the life out of me when I was a kid, yeah, really did. And um as as for scary horror films, yeah, that is what that was up there for me.

SPEAKER_03 36:19

Because that it's just where the creepy shoot is like where you're gonna get in all that crap. It just used to play me in my head over and over again. And it will do tonight, it will do, it will do tonight. Fuck you know, I'm gonna find him lights of people.

SPEAKER_02 36:34

I have no idea.

SPEAKER_03 36:38

Yeah, for uh cracking film man. Daniel, what would you give that head of 10 on the flip the screen right now?

SPEAKER_04 36:45

We'll give that an eight, an eight, okay.

SPEAKER_03 36:47

Right, we'll come back to that then. We'll come back to that. I've got some evil dead trivia for you, Neil. Oh, yeah, I have yeah. Um so the cabin used um in the film was um was also where the uh the crew, the 13-member crew had to stay. Yeah, because obviously nearly it was done on a budget, they had no money at all. I mean, Sam Rimey and Bruce Campbell came up with this idea and they had no money, just a camera, basically, and just could gather some people together. Um, for example, do you know the scenes where the unseen forces going through the trees and you can hear the noise? That is biased to Sam Raimi running through the trees with the camera in his hand. See how good it is, Sean. That's you know, simple. You don't need money these days. Well, you don't need money them days to make a creepy film. Creepy ass film, Neil. So, anyway, so the crew remembers were stopping in the cabin. Now, the living conditions were terrible. Um, the crew just argued all the time. The cabin didn't didn't have any plumbing, so the actors went days without showering, they all felt ill because it was always in frequently uh freezing weather, and by the end of production, Neil, they were burning furniture in the cabin just to stay warm. I know, yeah. Unbelievable, that is what do you know what the budget was there? You know how much the film costs? I don't know. I I'd I looked that up, Neil. I'd I didn't go that in depth. Probably not, probably not, but I will find out. We'll find out. Now the the the crew put together a little time capsule package and buried it inside the fireplace in the cabin as a memento of the production. And um, whoever found it, you know, they've got a bit of history there, haven't they? But um the cabin has since been destroyed, and only the fireplace is still there.

SPEAKER_04 38:35

Really?

SPEAKER_03 38:36

So that little um memento, that little time capsule, maybe still there, Neil.

SPEAKER_04 38:41

You know what? I love and our little things like that, yeah, or travel a long way just to go and see that.

SPEAKER_03 38:46

I would, but but this that might have been a while. Well, it's still there now. I don't know. Now the original script called for all the characters to be smoking the marijuana. Now, when they were first listening to the tape, the tape of the um the incantation, Neil, Kanda, that one, yeah. Um, the actors decided to troy a bit of weed for real, and the entire scene had to be later reshot due to everybody pissing themselves laughing, which you can imagine would be hilarious. Scary at the same time, um now during the scene where Ash is about to cut up his girlfriend with a chainsaw, so yeah, you you were probably right. I'll have to look into that though. I'm sure it was Evil Dead too, but I don't know. Don't know, but it can't be because Linda won in the second one. So it's got you've got to be wrong. I'll give you that now. Kudos to you, kudos to you. Um, yeah, because it was at the second one he shot. He cut he beat his hand off and he put the chainsaw on it. Okay, I'm back I'm back up to speed, people. Uh, during the scene where Ash is about to cut up his girlfriend with a chainsaw, Bruce Campbell um actually had to use a real chainsaw, and it he held it up to the actress's chest. You can see the close-up of Linda's neck, looking at the necklace, and you can see her pulse is racing. You'd be quite scared, wouldn't you, Neil? Oh, yeah. Then again, he's got a trip up, eh? Yeah, he's I mean, head gone for from you know, and you know, I'd keep that in the film.

SPEAKER_04 40:06

I may, especially first.

SPEAKER_03 40:08

I would keep that in the film, Neil. So, anyway, before we uh compare um 1981 Evil Dead to the kind of the reboot, the re sh reimagining of the Evil Dead 2013. Neil, our good friend, Mr. Seth Constantine. Oh yeah. Yeah, you still have met him, have you?

SPEAKER_04 40:28

I have met him, John.

SPEAKER_03 40:30

Where?

SPEAKER_04 40:31

No, I am met him. I've heard him. As good as I as good as he gets. Well I'd have him, I'll be honest with you.

SPEAKER_03 40:39

I would. I don't really think I'm a John, but let's see if we can get him on screen. Oh, there he is, though. There he is, there he is. The real exorcist now. He's the real Yorkshire Exorcist looking cross. Well he's a daft hype neil, and he's always grumpy.

SPEAKER_04 40:54

I don't know, but uh he's a funny kind of grumpy, eh? No, right.

SPEAKER_03 40:58

Very funny. So he is a he is a fan of horror, as you well know, because he is a Yorkshire Exorcist. He he goes around and getting possessed people, um get getting unpossessed, Neil. Yeah, you know what I mean? Uh so he loves the Evil Dead, and he sent me a little kind of uh another movie rant on The Evil Dead. Take it away, Seth.

SPEAKER_00 41:19

Right, pull up a chair, keep the lights on. We're talking about the Evil Dead. The 1981 original is a piece of DIY perfection. Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell, two lads with a camera, some corn syrup, and a dream of scaring the living daylights out of everyone. It's not just a horror film, it's a masterclass in what you can do when you've got no budget for plenty of gumption. The 1981 original, the Groovy Gospel. It's grainy, it's dark, and it smells a damp wood. That cabin in the woods is every rental property in the penlands I've ever had to cleanse. You know the thought, single glazing, a similar litgrapes, and a landlord who hasn't been singed since the 70s. Then you've got the deadlights. They weren't just monsters, they were in name, they cackled, they dung, and the portfolio while you're trying to tear yourself apart. It's very realistic. Most of the deal with don't just moan. It makes no remarks about your choice of wallpaper while you're trying to read the lights. No, that's Williams. In empty one, it wasn't a hero. It was a telephone in a blue shirt. It's been up the film covered in something that looked like splitway so. It was just odious. It was a dribble and the dribble. The original and a bit of a wink and a nod. It was a terrible ride. The rumic fell out being snuck in a lift with a group of people who'd all forgotten an antidepressants. It was too much a problem. I've seen some crazy things in my mind of work, but it don't go to the cinema to feel like I'm doing an apprenticeship in the slaughterhouse. No. You can't beat the original because it's a dilemma. It felt like the filmmakers were written the cellar with you. Shivering. The really makes felt like it was made by the committee that felt more bored equals more scively. It doesn't. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of rayboats. I'm sick of the legends. And I'm sick of the legend stories. We don't believe it's a little bit of a shark and jelly. It's everybody to shift up and get to the boat.

SPEAKER_03 44:31

You've got a bit worn up then, eh? He's got a point now, Nil. Yeah, it's got a point. He's got a point. Let me just put us back on, kid. Oh, there we go. There we go. We're back up. Good old Seth. Is he still there, Seth? I don't know. Is that him? He can stay there for the meeting. Yeah, yeah. He can stay there, Neil. Yeah, but he has got a point, Neil. He has got a point. The original, because it was grainy, it was raw, it was something. It was original, Neil. Yeah. And do you know what? It was terrifying back in the day. Yeah. I'll still watch it today and think, what was they going through when they filmed this? What was going through Sam Raimi's head?

SPEAKER_04 45:16

You know what gets me about old horror films and new horror films? The way it's filmed.

SPEAKER_03 45:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 45:22

It looks better back in the day.

SPEAKER_03 45:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 45:25

It's a bit like, you know, like say you watch Scooby-Doo back in the day and the cartoon, and now it's you watch it now, it's different. It's shit. I don't like it the way it is. That's why I think less budget it makes better realistic films. You know, yeah, there's a lot more gore and a lot more fucking um, a lot more, you know, um, you know, special effects and all that crap, you know what I mean? Yeah. But I think it's back in the day when it was just raw, it was better.

SPEAKER_03 45:53

It was, it was. So Neil, The Evil Dead 2013. How does it compare to the original? Well, like our good friend Seth was saying, it's much darker, it's much more of a budget, and it's intensely gory than the 1981 classic. Now it replaces the original campy, low budget charm with visceral practical effects and a relentless, bleak tone. Basically, you know, it was like like Seth was saying, the original was like a carnival, wasn't it? Yeah, like a carnival ride. Get on the ride because you're in for a bumpy one. Yeah, the remake was like way too serious, yeah. Where the Evil Dead has never been serious, as it we even that was kind of like comedic, the Evil Dead one. Yeah, even that was terrifying. Um, Evil Dead 2 went a bit more, it was more of a horror comedy where the Army of Darkness was basically a comedy horror, yeah. You know, and and that was the difference. Now, I'm not saying I did not like the 2013 because I do, I think it's a it's a really good film, but as a as a reboot or a a remake, if that was a film what had like a different title completely, like um the evil dead cabin in the woods or something. Oh bastard, no, you know, it would have received a better kind of like um better praise, I think. But you can't when you're doing something as as a court classic as The Evil Dead, you're always gonna be on a loser, aren't you? Yeah, let's be honest. It didn't have the charm, it didn't have the um the bleak, it didn't have like what's the word I'm looking for, the cheapness, really. I mean it's like corn syrup, um bugs, maggots, um fucking whatever they was using to make the go. It was so bad, it was so bad looking back now. But that wasn't the what the film was about. The actual premise of the film with the the the unseen demon, the car leaning the the banging of the dingy, the um the chair up up against the cabin, them kind of things now, and the way the camera was the the all the different shots, it was just eerie, it was spooky, and it I fucking love the Evil Dead 1981. Yeah, no, it was banned in this country for a long time. Yeah, yeah, because it was it was basically a video nasty. Um so I don't think it got released in this country till about '84, something like that. Do you remember the box now? I used to bring the box out more the time, remember? Yeah, the video boxing had like a cartoon drawing on the front of the Evil Dead, brilliant. They didn't have that in America. It was a different kind of like movie poster completely.

SPEAKER_04 48:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:40

So there you go, Neil. Um, so have you watched the 2013 um version? Oh, yeah, you did, yeah, yeah. I still think it's a very good film. I'll shit the life over. It ain't scared of you though, is he? John, Jesus Christ. That that's you, that's me doing the incantations. Your dead odds are gonna start attacking the boo dog tavern in a minute. Yeah, um, I wish it were you. I thought it was a really good film. It's very gory. Um, it's it's very serious. Um, there's not no comedy elements in it whatsoever. Um, but as a horror film, it's it's it it's pretty good, I think. Yeah, pretty it's pretty pretty good for him. I'd recommend both films, and I probably wouldn't say what's the Evil Dead 1981 and judge that one, then watch the remake because I think that they're totally separate films completely. Yeah, um, even though there is like callbacks to the original here and there through the film, you can actually do without that and just watch watch it and not even think about the original at all because it's set in the cabin of woods and there's a a book, even the book is different and everything like that, you know. And but yeah, I mean I haven't given us a rating yet on uh the evil dead. So you give a rating of the evil dead the first one, yeah. What did you give? 8.5. Let's just give it a 8.5. Um so the remake neil, well the reimagining 2013. Um I'll give that an eight. Okay, so me personally, I would give the evil dead 1981 a strong eight point eight. What do you have? That's gonna be the first time you've been on with them, maybe from back in the day. Yeah, oh Neil, I'll I'll I'll grew up I'll grow I'll I'll grew up with that film. Um I've watched it that many times, and it it's it's still it's one of them films which sticks with you. Yeah, like say the scene of um we're gonna get you, you know, the card scene, all that kind of stuff, you know, and that them kind of things stick with you. I mean it is quite it is scary, it's quite terrifying. Um, but the yeah, the 2013, again, I thought it was a very good film. Um I would rather not compare it to the 1981 um Evil Dead, but I'd still give it a good seven out of ten. Yeah, I would, because the the if you like your go, watch the Evil Dead um 2013, especially when you chops an arm off with an electric um meat slicer, you know, cracking, have some of that. So, yeah, Neil, there you go. We're done. Evil Dead done, Neil. Now, I apologize if you do get attacked by dead odds in the middle of the night, and there's one on your stairs, um, rocking to and through, dressed as a doll, um, saying we're gonna get you. I apologise right now, people, but on that bombshell right there, I would just like to say please like and subscribe and all that good stuff, and we'll see you on the next one. Neil, any last words while I get the outro music? Yes, um, next one, my mons. That's all I'm gonna say. On to the next Johnny Boy.

SPEAKER_04 51:46

Um, I hope everybody enjoys uh what we do. We're trying our best, everyone.

SPEAKER_03 51:51

You know, trying our best, trying to get the trying to get the best movies, Jerry Springer. Trying to get the best movies, every John. It's the first podcast you've done without singing, huh? I sung earlier. Did you? Yeah. More songs enjoy McDonald.