Don't Step on the Bluebells

Learning to Trust Yourself with Amanda Parker (#036)

• Amanda Parker • Season 1 • Episode 36

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Have you ever known deep down that something wasn't right for you, but spent days, weeks, or even years second-guessing that initial feeling? You're not alone. 

In this revealing solo episode, I share a recent experience where I nearly ignored my intuition about a client partnership that didn't feel aligned. Despite that initial "something's off" sensation, I found myself seeking external validation, gathering opinions, and overthinking—only to eventually circle back to what my inner wisdom had been telling me all along.

This personal story opens the door to exploring why trusting ourselves can be so challenging. From the people-pleasing tendencies that make us prioritize others' approval over our own needs, to the constant barrage of external influences that drown out our inner voice, I break down the major barriers that keep us second-guessing our intuitive hits. 

I offer practical strategies for strengthening your self-trust muscle, including connecting to past decisions where your yes was clear, identifying your unique intuitive signals, and asking the powerful question, "What would it look like if I pleased myself first?" These tools help close the gap between that first intuitive nudge and taking aligned action.

The journey to trusting yourself is gradual—where once it took years to honor your intuition, perhaps now it takes days or hours. Give yourself grace in this process while celebrating each step toward deeper self-connection. Your inner wisdom is always working for you; the more you tune in and honor it, the louder and clearer it becomes.

What decision are you currently sitting with? Try implementing these tools and notice how much simpler life becomes when you trust what you already know.

How to Get in Touch:
Website: www.amandaparker.co
Instagram: @amandaparker.co
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amandamparker/
Podcast: www.dontsteponthebluebells
Community: www.womenhealerscollective.com


PLUS, Here's How You Can Take Charge of Your Personal Growth

  1. Are you a women healer tired of trying to do it all alone? Join the Women Healers Collective today!
  2. Dive even deeper with this episode's Show Notes
  3. Get a weekly dose of inspiration, insights and oh-so-relatable stories of growth!
  4. Share your questions and feedback about this podcast & healing with Amanda on Instagram @amandaparker.co
Speaker 1:

When it comes to making decisions that really impact me. The more that I'm looking outside of myself for that answer, the less clear, the less certain that I feel. Welcome to Don't Step on the Blue Bells, the podcast where personal healing and transformation takes center stage. I'm your host, amanda Parker, and I'm a fellow seeker on the journey of personal growth. Join me as I delve into the stories of gifted healers, guides and everyday people who have experienced remarkable transformations. Listen in as they share their practical wisdom to enrich your everyday life, and don't forget to hit subscribe and never miss a new episode. Hit subscribe and never miss a new episode. Welcome to today's episode of Don't Step on the Blue Bells. I'm your host, amanda Parker, and today is going to be a solo show, all about how to trust yourself. So first I want to share a story with you. This is something that's been going on in my world over the last few weeks, so I had a potential client that I was thinking of working with. There was a project we were going to collaborate on together, and this client is someone that entered my world somewhat recently, but who I have a really good feeling with good rapport. I'm not going to be naming any names, of course, here. But there was an opportunity to create something together and when I first had that conversation with this client it was, you know I was a little bit uncertain, needed a bit more clarity, didn't fully understand if we were on the same page, what we were exactly talking about. So there was a bit of hesitation. But I was really willing to go a bit deeper and see what's here, let's find out, let's explore. So a part of my own mindset is that I always like to explore, to understand, just to see what's here, let's find out, let's explore. So a part of my own mindset is that I always like to explore, to understand, just to see what's really happening, keep the door open, find out. Is there something more here that maybe? You know, I'm not able to see right away. So what ended up happening is, as I sat with this decision, I ended up feeling less and less clear about what was happening, about what felt right, about really what my intuition was telling me. So I started to fish out information from others, I started to seek insight and wisdom, talk it through. To seek insight and wisdom, talk it through, and that for me is sometimes a way of really thinking through problems or challenges. That can be very helpful, but when it comes to making decisions that really impact me, the more that I'm looking outside of myself for that answer, the less clear, the less certain that I feel. So as I started to ask around to get advice, to get input, I felt more and more unclear. The sense of unease started to grow. I found myself feeling anxious, I felt overwhelmed, my head felt cloudy, I felt uncertain, like I didn't really have clarity, and then, of course, sleepless nights started kicking in.

Speaker 1:

So all of this, you know listening on the outside, as I'm synthesizing this for you now, you can hear quite clearly like okay, it doesn't sound like this was a good choice. But remember that in the moment as I was actually thinking through this decision, it didn't feel that clear to me. So I was spending a couple of days trying to figure out, and then I started to realize that, hey, actually I'm feeling pretty anxious, and this is usually a sign for me that something is off. Either the information isn't that clear or something doesn't really feel all that aligned. So I started to come to the conclusion that maybe this particular client in this particular moment is not the right client to start working with.

Speaker 1:

Then I was, quite funnily, in a call practicing channeling with a peer of mine and we were sitting in the call and sharing for each other these different insights, wisdom that was coming through for us to share with one another. And she said to me quite clearly yeah, I'm just getting that. You need to just say no. I don't have any idea what you need to say no to, but just say no, just say no, just say no, just say no. She said it so matter of factly, not having any idea what she was talking about or what she might be referring to. Just that this wisdom came through clearly for her that, whatever it was, I needed to just say no. And it was pretty funny for me because it kind of like hit me over the head.

Speaker 1:

This decision that I had been sitting with hadn't really felt right from the start. So what was it that made me continue to sit there and to ponder and to think and everything else, when actually I already knew right at the very beginning that this wasn't the right thing for me? Now, once I got that insight from her, it became very easy for me to really honor that intuition, that knowing that I had, and to make a decision from that aligned place. So the next day, I was able to share with this person that it wasn't going to be the right fit, that it just didn't feel right in this moment, that it wasn't fully aligned for me and you know wishing them a lot of luck moment that it wasn't fully aligned for me and wishing them a lot of luck.

Speaker 1:

So I just want to take a look, since we're talking here about trusting yourself. This is something that is so important in my life and actually in all of our lives. It's one of the biggest things that I work on with clients and that I just see overall, that people really struggle with. So when we're talking about trusting ourselves, what might be some of the things that stand in the way? So for me, a few things were at play here, so I have a very strong desire not to disappoint people. So when I really feel like there's an opportunity, I want to say things that are going to make people happy. It's really uncomfortable for me to sit with their disappointment. Forget about if they actually feel disappointed, if this impacts them in any way. That's actually none of my business, but the way that I feel is that, oh no, I might disappoint them.

Speaker 1:

So there's a hint of people pleasing in there as well, wanting to make people happy, wanting them to like me, you know, wanting to just be agreeable. There's so many different layers there. Then there's also this area of just not trusting the information that came through. So, as I said, in that particular story, you know, there was a part of me that knew right away that something felt a bit off and I decided to explore it further, which of course, is not an unreasonable thing to do. But when something already feels off, there's information that you know. In that case my body was actually giving me, my intuition was giving me that like no, no, no, hold on, slow down, don't make this choice. I waited maybe three days or four days before I officially made a decision and, you know, closed the conversation.

Speaker 1:

But the reality is that in the past that could have taken me weeks, that could have taken months, that could have even taken years. If I think back to some relationships that I've had, like romantic relationships or even friendships, if I think back to work situations where I knew I had to leave that job or that situation months, or sometimes years, before I actually did, I can look at this situation and say, okay, it only took me three days, like that's pretty amazing considering where I came from, and I think that the goal for me in my own life is to just continually close that gap. So I'm not here to shame myself or anyone else who might be sitting with indecision, because it's super uncomfortable and I know that feeling very well and I've just had a refresher you know, a beginner's course once again on what that feels like. So it's not about shame. It's not about putting yourself down. It's not about saying like, why couldn't I have done this quicker? Why didn't I know sooner? It's much more about saying, okay, cool, now, this took me three days, maybe next time it takes two, or maybe next time with that initial feeling, I take that pause, I sit and then I think does this actually feel aligned?

Speaker 1:

The fourth thing that I realized for myself was at play here was a lack of clarity about what I really want. So if I'm not clear about what I want, if I'm not clear about what I'm working towards, then all of these different ideas and inputs that come in can sound like a really good idea. This is also a challenge of our time, you know, living in this world where social media is so prevalent and we're influenced all the time by thought leaders we admire, by colleagues past or present, by people that were following that, to be honest, we might not even care about it all, but they're entering our feed. I don't know if you're on Instagram or LinkedIn or TikTok. I'm personally very active on LinkedIn and also spend quite a bit of time on Instagram, so I'm continually receiving outside input.

Speaker 1:

And if I'm not clear on what I want, on what I'm working towards, on what matters most to me, I can be very heavily influenced by all of that outside information. And what that does is that it just creates a sense of confusion, of lack of clarity, starts to feel like I'm like moving through sludge. It's so hard to hear my own thoughts, my own intuition, the things that I really want, because I'm so focused on this outside world and finding those answers outside myself. So perhaps one of these also resonates with you the sense of not wanting to disappoint people or the people pleasing, not really trusting yourself fully or lacking that clarity about what it is that you really want to work towards, which makes it really hard to make decisions that are aligned with that. So if you're hearing this and you're saying, okay, I know that I definitely face this, that I'm struggling to make some decisions that I need to make, then I want to first and foremost say you're doing great.

Speaker 1:

Even just listening to this episode is going to help you find a little bit more clarity on how to navigate that process and why that might be happening, and, I really hope, in a way that doesn't make you feel ashamed or feel bad about yourself, because we're human and we all have these behaviors, these experiences, limiting beliefs, et cetera, that have shaped our lives until today. So when we're talking about really changing those behaviors, changing those mindsets, changing the way we make decisions, we need to give ourselves a lot of grace in that process. We don't have an operating model for how that works. We've never done it before. So if you're very new to doing decisions in a different way, then please do listen and make sure that you're showing yourself the compassion that you deserve for trying to do this differently, and I think that's really important here, that you're really trying to do it differently. It's not that you're definitely trying to do it better or to get it right. It's just that you're definitely trying to do it better or to get it right. It's just different. So the more that you experiment, the more that you try tuning into your intuition earlier or listening to those signs earlier they're all experiments and then you're going to get information that you'll be able to make different choices from. So I highly encourage you to experiment, to play, to pay attention to the signs of your body. This is especially true.

Speaker 1:

Think of moments in your life where you had to make a decision and it was the easiest yes in the world. What did you feel? How were you behaving? What were you believing? Really connect to that moment in time where you were saying yes and you knew there was no doubt in your mind that that was the right choice. And then connect to a moment in your life where you were making a choice and it was a no and you're saying Connect to maybe you weren't so clear that it was a no, or maybe you weren't so sure that this was the right path so that that uncertainty maybe that was about a job, maybe that was about a relationship, maybe leaving a job or relationship and really connect into those feelings Like what did you sit with? What was you know the sensations in your body? What were the emotions or beliefs that came up for you and you're going to start to get a little bit of your own operating manual of when things feel like good for you, when they feel aligned, when things feel like something's not quite right and maybe a little bit out of alignment or a lot out of alignment, as has happened many times in my own life, and maybe a little bit out of alignment or a lot out of alignment, as has happened many times in my own life.

Speaker 1:

So if you're sitting with these decisions now, I want to encourage you on a few different pieces. Here's what you can do beyond just connecting into that yes and no. What were those feelings that you had through past experiences that can help you to understand the way that you respond in these different situations today? Then I want to encourage you that when you hear that first nudge of knowing, you trust it and I promise you this also affects me. So in the beginning I don't always trust it. I don't really know if it's trustworthy. Can I believe it? Can I follow it? So I am encouraging you to practice trusting it blindly. See what happens. Maybe you get it wrong, maybe you get it right.

Speaker 1:

You can start with small decisions like where do you want to have dinner tonight? Or where do you want to go on vacation? Or something that does not feel so important like life or death decisions. Start small and see what happens. Find out what happens. When you just listen to that first nudge, I can almost guarantee life is going to get a lot simpler. When you do that At least that's the insight that I keep getting and my coach keeps telling me you know, life will always become easier if you just trust what you hear and you commit to it and you move forward with that choice. So listen to the voices that come up when these decisions are at play. You know what if I say no? Maybe they're not gonna like me anymore? What if this is a once in a lifetime opportunity that I'm missing out on? Or listen to the voice that might say like oh my God, this feels really exciting. I cannot wait to be a part of this. So you're gonna get all the information you need in that initial thought process. So practice it.

Speaker 1:

Another question that I'd love you to ask yourself is what would it look like if I pleased myself first? So very often, when we have this sort of indecision, uncertainty, lack of clarity, we're not looking at what's going to serve us best in that moment. We're often looking at, like, what's happening around us, who are the different people involved? Who's going to be impacted? We all have different dependencies in our lives and people in our lives. So you're going to have to make the choice that's best for your personal life circumstance. But ask yourself first what would it look like to please myself first? What choice would I be making if my only goal was to make myself happy and see what answer comes up for you? You still get to make a choice.

Speaker 1:

If that's the way you wanna move forward, then the last thing would be to really connect into different moments of your life where you made similar decisions. So this doesn't mean that it has to be an exact alignment of choices that you've made in the past to this particular decision that you're making, but something that felt similar, but something that felt similar. So for me, I can think of many different client experiences that I've had over the years through consulting, through being an associate, through working with coaching clients or facilitating leadership programs. I can think of many circumstances where I felt the exact same, where the decisions that I was making was am I missing an opportunity? Should I just say yes, should I try to build this relationship? And I was not coming from a place of does this feel aligned? Does this feel good? Do I want to do this project? Yes or no? So think of different circumstances in your life where you've had to face similar kind of decisions and just look at how you handled that situation. So get a feeling for how you reacted, what you did, what regrets you might have had or what you did well, and give yourself a little bit more of that blueprint of how you can act, moving forward.

Speaker 1:

So this is a bit of a manual towards how to trust yourself more deeply, giving yourself that permission to really lean into that trust and to make decisions and choices that align. And I want you to just remember that your inner wisdom is always there. It is always working for you, and the more that you tune in and listen, the more that you honor it, the louder and the clearer that it's going to become. So this is going to help you shorten that gap between the decisions as they come up and actually choosing to move forward. So you already have this toolkit built in.

Speaker 1:

I am 100% confident that you're gonna be able to take this and really action it in your life today, and I would love to invite you just to leave a comment or send me a message and let me know how this has helped you, how this supported you to make a decision that you might be sitting with today. So I appreciate so much that you tuned in for this mini episode of Don't Step on the Blue Bells and I really can't wait to hear how you're applying this wisdom about trusting yourself in your life. See you next time. Thanks for tuning in to today's episode of Don't Step on the Blue Bells. If you enjoyed this conversation, please give the podcast a five-star rating wherever you listen, and don't forget to hit subscribe and follow along so you never miss a new episode.

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Amanda Parker

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