I Found My Inner Authority by Burning It All Down (#064)

What if the thing standing between you and real success — is the success you've already built?

Amanda had the contracts, the clients, the credibility. A leadership development business that ticked every box she'd been handed. And she walked away from all of it. Not because it was falling apart — but because it was working perfectly, and she still felt nothing.

What followed was three years of rebuilding from the inside out: investing in deep coaching, resetting her nervous system, and learning to trust herself again. The result wasn't just a different business. It was a completely different relationship with her own knowing — one that eventually led her to launch her highest-tier package at £47,000 and build something that felt genuinely aligned.

Amanda also shares the story of a client who made a similar leap — twice. From corporate to entrepreneurship, and then from that first business into something truer still. Rocky at first, yes. But guided by an inner sense that they were finally on the right path. Together, these two stories reveal something powerful: inner authority isn't a destination. It's a practice of listening, adjusting, and daring to honour what feels true — even when no one else understands it yet.

If you've ever looked around at your life, seen everything that's supposed to make you happy, and still felt something missing — this episode is for you.

Get in Touch with Amanda:

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Transcript

Amanda Parker 0:00

I had the perfect blend of the coaching, the leadership development, the facilitation. And then on the back end of a lot of that leadership work, a lot of my clients would come to me for private coaching. So the business was really like running well and people were taking notice. But there was this challenge because I was not feeling fulfilled in what I was doing. I was feeling like out of touch, like I had really built this success based on what everyone told me success looked like. Welcome to Don't Step on the Bluebells, the podcast for personal healing and transformation takes center stage. I'm your host, Amanda Parker, and I'm a fellow seeker on the journey of personal growth. Join me as I delve into the stories of gifted healers, guides, and everyday people who have experienced remarkable transformations. Listen in as they share their practical wisdom to enrich your everyday life. And don't forget to hit subscribe and never miss a new episode. Welcome to today's episode of Don't Step on the Bluebells. I am so happy to be here with you today. We have taken a turn for summer here in London, so it's feeling really beautiful and nice just to have that heat and warmth and sunshine. So today we're going to be talking about something that I have been really circling for years. And if you've been following my content, you will have seen me talking about this a lot lately. But I wanted to really go into a deep dive today on what exactly is inner authority. So today we're going to be talking all about what it is, why it matters, and how to actually build it, especially if you're anything like me and you might have spent a good portion of your life looking outside of yourself for the answers. So I'm going to be sharing my own story. I'm going to be sharing the story of a client of mine. And I think it's really important that you just have an understanding of what it feels like to not have inner authority or to not trust your inner authority. And then what can actually shift for you when you do? So it's going to click in a way that a simple definition never could. So a few years ago, uh, when I had just started my business, I had this idea of what the perfect business should look like. I had been working previously in leadership development. So I was on the end of designing leadership programs. I was helping to facilitate them. I was working together with all of our coaches and facilitators to bring them into the projects and make sure that we were delivering what the client actually needed. And through those relationships that I built with other coaches, other facilitators, I was able to learn what it meant to build a really successful business in the leadership space. So on the one hand, I was working on the consulting side. On the other hand, I had all these connections to coaches and facilitators who had been doing this professionally, some of them for 10, 20 years. So these were really pros. They had been around the block. And the consensus that I learned from all of them was that you never wanted to build a business that was dependent on just one thing. So the ideal mix was always to have the coaching along with the facilitation, and in some cases, even consulting on how to design these programs so that they'd have the most impact and the most benefit for the company, but also for the leaders. So as I started my business in 2018, I started the Courage Factory. It was a leadership development company. I still run the Courage Factory. It just looks a little bit different now. When I began the Courage Factory, my focus was on supporting leaders, supporting organizations to grow their leadership. I had this whole philosophy for myself on what it would look like if companies could just build leaders that really knew what they were doing, that had their own authority and awareness and self-leadership, that they could actually be building out their teams and the business in a way that felt really great. As an employee, previously, I always wanted to feel good in the work I was doing. I was super motivated. I loved the projects I was on, but there was often something that fell short in the leadership side of things that usually felt like what was making me unmotivated to stay in the company. So when I began the business, my goal was simple. We're gonna like make better leadership, make better, make better organizations. People are gonna love coming to work. And so I started building and I had a lot of a backbone behind me because I already knew how to design, deliver, price, propose, pitch leadership programs. I had already been doing it for over a year. And when I started my own business, I had that leg up. Within a year of launching the Courage Factory, I also became an associate of different leadership organizations, namely one in particular, which was the Center for Creative Leadership. Anyone who has ever worked in leadership development or has hired leadership organizations has probably heard this name. It is probably the foremost organization in leadership development across the globe. They've been around now probably 55 years. I used to know this information much more closely when I was um actively an affiliate. So through that work, I was really able to touch into organizations at the senior level. I quickly became a lead faculty on one of the programs that we were running, which meant that I was sitting in the C-suite of leading tech companies in Germany as we were discussing their leadership needs and how our programs were going to support them. So as a lead faculty, I was the one that was responsible for making sure that the program design actually fit the needs and that we were able to deliver on what we said that we would. And beyond just delivering on what we said we would, we wanted to make sure that people are actually getting the value they need to increase the leadership in the organization, et cetera. I had clients in the tech industry, in fintech, in cryptocurrency. I worked with fast-moving consumer goods, I worked with e-commerce. I was working with established organizations and businesses from across the globe and across sectors, helping them to create leadership development programs that would support them to grow into the future. By this stage, I had a blend of my business. It was B2B. So I was working with a lot of businesses in an associate role. So I was representing, for example, Center for Creative Leadership. I was representing T minus, which was another organization. There were different organizations I was partnering with. And then at the same time, I was going out and pitching and proposing my own projects. And then I was hiring either other facilitators or other leaders to be able to come and deliver the projects with me. So most notably, I had a government contract with GIZ along with another colleague of mine. We did an amazing job on the pitch. They had reached out to me because they had seen what I was doing. They were previously working with me in my role in World Wildlife Fund or Worldwide Fund for Nature, depending what country you're based in. And so we won this massive government contract to train senior government officials in Brazil. And I was working on proposals with space tech organizations, with Deutsche Telekom. So there were a lot of big names that I was supporting or in conversations with over months. By all standards, I had made it. So I had literally built this business exactly how I thought it was supposed to look. I had the perfect blend of the coaching, the leadership development, the facilitation. And then on the back end of a lot of that leadership work, a lot of my clients would come to me for private coaching. So the business was really like running well and people were taking notice. But there was this challenge because I was not feeling fulfilled in what I was doing. So there was a part of me that as I was running the business, I was feeling like out of touch. Like I had really built the success based on what everyone told me success looked like. I had the big contracts, I was designing, I was facilitating, I was bringing people on board, but I was feeling empty and like something was really missing. So even though the money was coming in, I didn't feel aligned with what I was doing. And it took me years to be able to reconcile that I had spent years building up this whole engine that was supposed to be exactly what I wanted. And in the end, I wasn't feeling great. And it was a really difficult choice that I had to make, but I decided to stop doing leadership development. And so despite the fact that I was in as an associate in these top organizations, that I had active proposal processes going on with different businesses, I quit my role as an associate. I handed over these proposals and like prospective clients that I had been building relationships with for a year or years in some cases. And I decided to go out on my own, trying my luck to be a transformational coach. So really working together with the people who wanted that personal transformation in their life. So rather than focusing on the B2B relationships, I moved completely towards B2C. And I was in for quite a culture shock. So really what I was trying to do was buy back my own freedom to do the work that I knew I was meant to be doing that felt really aligned. And I decided that I was going to instead do the work that was gonna be more volatile. And B2B, there's always this level of, you know, companies have money, they have a budget in B2C. That's not always the case. You're speaking to individuals. So imagine yourself are you willing to invest a few thousand or in some cases tens of thousands of dollars to be able to support yourself to grow? And that's really the challenge that I was facing as I was moving into this new territory. So I was terrified to say the least. I had no idea what would come next. I didn't know if I was making the most foolish decision in the world or the best one, but I knew that I couldn't keep following that script that someone else had given me about what success looked like. Over the next three years, I made big investments in myself. I hired a coach who was phenomenal, still is phenomenal. He's coming on the podcast soon. So stay tuned for that. But at the time, that was the biggest investment I had ever made in any kind of personal development. And I was hiring him because he could see me. He could see the dreams that I was trying to work towards and the challenges that I was up against. In the time that we worked together and through all of the spiritual work and just that deep inner work I was doing on myself, I was able to find my own center of gravity again to reset my nervous system to really come back to trusting what I knew and trusting that what felt right for me was the right decision for me. And I started offering my coaching package at five and a half times what I had been offering it at before. It was a few years back that I launched my highest tier package, which was 47,000 pounds, which also included four private retreats to sacred sites, and began to build my trust in myself and my trust in my business and ability to be able to bring an income at a level that felt good for me and that actually felt aligned to the goals that I had. And I was able to support individuals in leading their best life through doing that work. So that doesn't mean that I have that same level of self-trust every single day. You know, there's always these different wobbles that I have where I'm questioning if I'm doing things right, or I want someone else to help me to understand if I'm making the best choices or to see more clearly things like decisions that I'm making and what the impact of those might be. So that still happens. It's not that I have perfection. I don't think any of us ever really does. And I think the more successful that you are, the more that you're going to be finding these questions you don't have the answer to because you're doing what you've never done before and you're probably doing what no one else has ever done before, at least no one else that you know. So on average, I am on the right path and I know that. And I know that as I continue to grow and I continue to expand my own offerings and the ways that I support people, I am more and more and more aligned with who I am and what matters most to me. So I want to share another story with you as well, because inner authority shows up differently for each of us. And this was a client of mine who came to me after trying to build a business for a number of years. They had left the corporate world behind, they had a successful corporate career, great income, and they left because they wanted to build something that felt more aligned and truer to who they were. They started a business with a co-founder, and they had all the tactics right. So it was kind of a similar story, honestly, of leaving behind this corporate space, trying to hack it alone, looking for that freedom and fulfillment that you couldn't quite find in the corporate space, but you're hoping you'll be able to do it your own way and differently and find that satisfaction on your own when you open your own business. So this client of mine had done just that. They started this own business with a co-founder of trying to build out programs that they weren't really able to deliver on in corporate, but that felt much more aligned. But the truth was that after a couple of years, the business was struggling, the money wasn't coming in, and they were trying and trying and trying. So much trial and error, so much energy and effort was going into the business. They had trickles of clients coming in. There was some income there, but it really wasn't feeling like a fit. And so after years of this trial and error, and they still didn't really find exactly what felt good to them, they decided to leave the business behind. It wasn't an easy decision at all, but they knew that they needed to find a way to build something and to live a life that was much truer to who they were. They had taken that like halfway leap out of corporate into entrepreneurship, but they had to still take another leap to be able to find something that was much more aligned with who they were. The first years of their own projects of their own business were rocky, you know. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. There was definitely ups and downs, but they knew that they were building something that was true and they knew that they were on the right path. So even though it looked so different on paper, and it was the same for me, the whole business just looked completely different on paper. But the inner feeling of knowing they were on the right path and building towards something that's much more sustainable and true, that was the same. In that process of really getting to learn and understand who you are, what matters to you, learning how to trust yourself that you can actually achieve what you want to, what you say you will, that you'll follow through and be able to bring it to life. That's what builds that foundation of inner authority and that self-trust. You might see that pattern there. You might have even experienced that in your own life, that something looks perfect from the outside. Like you have the perfect career or your business looks amazing, or maybe even the perfect relationship, and everyone tells you, This is this is success. You did it. Congrats. And yet on the inside, it doesn't feel aligned. Something just feels off. And you learn that there's a point in time you have to let it go, and you have to be able to find what that next truer dream is for you. Inner authority isn't a one-time decision, it's not a switch that you flip on and suddenly you find yourself and your happiness and your career forever. It's an ongoing practice of listening, of adjusting, of honoring what feels true, even when it doesn't make sense to anyone else. And sometimes it also means leaping multiple times, certainly more than once. How do you actually build inner authority? So I wrote out a really long list of things that I have done and have been building over the years and what I've helped my clients with, but I'm gonna distill that down so that there's five core practices that actually help you to be able to tune in and build your own inner authority. The first piece is to really know yourself deeply. So to do this, you want to get clear on your vision, on your values, on your goals. You wanna be clear for yourself of what you want. So, not what anyone else wants for you, not what anyone else tells you you should be doing or should be looking for. This is actually what you want and understanding what it is that actually lights you up and energizes you, and what it is that drains you. So, this is all about doing that inner work to see what's keeping you stuck, to see what's that vision you really want to hone in on and to clear all of the blocks energetic and otherwise that are standing in the way. The second practice is building trust through action. So this is all about doing what you say you'll do, making regular progress towards your goals. So, not just looking for perfection, you're looking for movement, just taking action, taking steps. Sometimes we can get stuck in our heads and thinking and processing and planning, and then we fail to do the only thing that will actually push the needle, which is taking a step and a forward-going action. So this requires you to believe in yourself and believe in what you're building before you have any evidence. And when you fail, because you will, you're gonna make mistakes. It's a part of the process. You know that you'll get back up again. So you keep those promises to yourself and you keep building that foundation of trusting yourself by acting. The third practice is creating supportive structures. So this is all about developing rituals, routines, and habits that help you to show up as your best. So you're taking time to be offline, to be with yourself. Maybe that's being in nature, developing those morning routines that help you feel like your best self when you wake up in the morning. It's curating your digital diet. So not just going on Instagram and aimlessly scrolling for hours, but being really careful about what's the news and information and social media and you know, outside perspectives that you're taking in, cutting out all those things that really drain you. It's helping you to capture those lessons learned and letting them shape how you're moving forward. So every time we have an experience, we're learning something about ourselves. And the more that we're able to really pay attention to the things that we're learning, the more that we're able to make conscious choices to change our life based on that information. The fourth practice is surrounding yourself with the right people. So this is about finding your champions and your cheerleaders, the ones who remind you that you're capable, the ones who remind you of your power, finding those peers who are in it with you. We're not talking about the peers who are 85 steps ahead or the ones who are back where you started five years ago. You want to find people who are in a similar place on the journey as you and who are actively working towards bigger goals that align with the goals that you're also working towards. Because the more you see them succeed, the more you cheer each other on, the more you're all gonna grow and succeed together. So you want to find people who are in it with you, who are navigating the same terrain. And you want to let go of any people or projects that don't align. And this might also include any courses or programs that you've signed up for or have been thinking about signing up for where there isn't really full alignment. So you want to give yourself permission to just let these things go to consciously protect your space so that you're only surrounding yourself with the people who are going to help lift you up towards your goals and who are not actively draining or bringing you down. You also want to get coaching that actually helps you hear yourself more deeply. You'll see me talking about this a lot because I have a lot of opinions on what good coaching is and bad coaching. So I am a coach, I believe coaching works, and I think powerful coaching is. 1 million percent worth investing in. You just want to make sure that the person you're finding has in their practice your best interest at heart. So you want to make sure that you're working with someone who really wants to help lift you up and who isn't just trying to sell you a model that doesn't actually fit where you are. So you don't want someone who's just telling you what to do. I promise, promise, promise that's not going to get you where you want to go. And then the fifth practice is to calibrate and reflect. So you want to celebrate your wins. You want to celebrate the big wins, the small wins. Practice gratitude for everything that you have and everything that you've accomplished. And you want to take time to reflect on your progress so that you can actually see how far you've come. At some point, you don't want to be working on yourself endlessly. Probably at any point, you don't want to do that. It's okay to grow, I believe in this fully, but not for the purpose of fixing yourself endlessly. You want to be growing in a way that helps empower you, and you need to learn how to stop that process when it becomes just endless procrastination via fixing and healing. So you need to trust that you're ready, that you can do the things that you need to do, and that you can stop perfecting the system whenever it feels that you you've completed what you needed to complete. This is a high level of what it looks like when you actually start to develop that inner authority. And these are the practices that I use every day and what I use with my clients as well to be able to build that inner authority. So, what actually happens when you've done this? Well, you trust yourself. You know that you will do the things that you say that you're gonna do. You know and believe in yourself to do whatever it is that you set your mind to. You stop looking for other people to tell you what to do or how. And you know that no matter what, you'll figure it out. You are capable of figuring out how to move forward. You're not afraid to fail or to make mistakes. And because of that, you take bigger risks and you trust yourself fully, you're brave and you're courageous, and you become the leader of your own life. Here's the deeper truth inner authority is about knowing and trusting that you can do what you say you'll do, knowing that you can figure it out even when you don't know how, and trusting that even when it's hard or unclear, or even if you feel pressured to get it right, because some of us, like myself, will pressure ourselves to get it right. You can give yourself the space that you need to wait until it's clear. So that is the gift and the freedom that you're giving yourself. This is the backbone of all the work that I do about inner authority, the way that I work with my clients, and it's the foundation of the Inner Authority Lab, which I'm launching on June 9th. So that is the space where we're coming together to really deepen these practices in self-trust that helps you expand and grow in every single area of your life. So the Inner Authority Lab is a four-month group mastermind. It's for mission-led founders who are done outsourcing their knowing, are ready to stop looking for permission, and are ready to start leading from within. So if you have been in business already for a few years, you've already seen a certain level of success, but it's not quite feeling how you hoped it would. And you've tried all the frameworks, you've tried all the courses, it's just not fitting. This is the space for you. You can send me a message. Come find me on LinkedIn or Instagram. You send me a message with the word lab, and I will tell you all about it. Or check out the show notes, and you'll get the link to be able to sign up right there. Thank you so much for tuning in. I would love to hear your own experiences of developing your own inner authority. And maybe you have a story similar to mine or to my clients about ways that this self-trust and this pursuit of something truer has shown up in your own life. I would love to hear it, and I'd love to support you on that journey as you're moving forward. Remember that you have everything you need to begin now. Thanks so much for tuning in, and I'll see you next time. Thanks for tuning in to today's episode of Don't Step on the Bluebells. If you enjoyed this conversation, please give the podcast a five star rating wherever you listen. And don't forget to hit subscribe and follow along so you never miss a new episode.