Ditching the Shame: Owning Your Journey, No Apologies

Tune in for a raw, fearless conversation about embracing unapologetic power with Dr. 'V' Boykin. From single mom, stripper, and felon to doctor, speaker, and author of Fix Your Face and Watch Your Tone, Dr. 'V' shares how she found purpose despite adversity and the importance and power that comes with owning your story.

Follow Dr. V on YouTube @Dr.VBoykin and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drv-boykin/

Follow us on Tik Tok @shesambitiousaf for more content and episode teasers!

Transcript

[00:00:00] Welcome to She's Ambitious AF, the bold and empowering podcast that turns up the volume on female entrepreneurship. Join us as we dive headfirst into the wild world of boss babes, where we spill the tea on all things ambition, success, and the occasional hilarious disaster. 

Angelica Maestas (Host): Welcome to another episode of She's Ambitious AF. Today, I'm joined by guest Dr. V Boykin. Would you mind introducing yourself, Dr. V? Of course, I'm Dr. V. Boykin, a former single mom, stripper, felon, now a doctor, keynote speaker, and author of Fix Your Face and Watch Your Tone, Women Know It's Needed. And I help marginalized communities achieve a more equitable personal and professional experience. Probably the best intro I've ever heard. And

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): This is going great.

Angelica Maestas (Host): good job. We're off to a good start. It was authentic. You clearly articulate what you do, what you care about. And of course it was [00:01:00] intriguing. And so I imagine that's why you're often invited to speak. We have a very compelling story, but I'll share first why I was It's drawn to you and some of the recordings I saw and the interviews you've given.

Angelica Maestas (Host): So first we were introduced by Mandy Thompson, who is just a woman I think we both adore. And she said, Oh, you know, you're so aligned and you care about equity and you really need to meet Dr. B. And so. I saw that we're aligned in mission in a lot of ways, but I will say that what drew me to you was how fearless you seem and, and I know that there's a lot there and that got you to this point.

Angelica Maestas (Host): And I want to talk about that here on the show, but that was the appeal. And I think that we need more women who. Who either feel that way or have just learned to present that way, whatever it is, women do need more of that. And so just wanted to share that, [00:02:00] but we'd love to hear a little bit about your, your story and why it is that you care about leadership and advancing equity.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): Thanks for the great intro, segue and question. Care about leaders and leadership because when you have a phenomenal leader, it opens up the ability to hire more diverse candidates because you can count on that leader to coach them. You can count on that leader to get them where they need to be, to inspire them, to bring out the best in them, to remove roadblocks for them. And when you hire a more diverse population, not only do you make more profits, right? 15 to 35 percent more profits with diverse teams, 21 percent profit gap. When you don't have women in the C suite. But you change generational wealth. And as someone who grew up Not wealthy. And then as an adult, as a single mom to two children on food stamps and playing the counting game, as we were going to the grocery store, like count all the change.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): And the kids thought it was a math exercise and it was like, really know how much can we [00:03:00] spend at the grocery store? Or trying to, know, pretend that we're eating by candlelight because we're. You know, having some incredible experience as opposed to the powers out. know what it means to change generational wealth and to provide opportunities to non traditional candidates. I've done everything to support my kids from picking up dog poop with like, you know, those. Thin plastic bags at the grocery store.

Angelica Maestas (Host): Oh, yeah.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): I had an 80 year old man who was managing this dog kennel that didn't want to buy a pooper scooper and also paid me 8 an hour while paying the other 80 something year old man, 11, but that's, that's, that's further down the line but I did that job and I also was a stripper, a sober stripper, which is probably even worse.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): Like I didn't have to get drunk to do it. Like this

Angelica Maestas (Host): Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): because it was a place where women actually set their rates, controlled their book of business, had their value props, set their own boundaries. And in my experience, out earned men hand over fist. And I [00:04:00] really liked the, the control of my business plan that I experienced through that. and then ending up or choosing making choices that got me also a felony conviction and what it looks like to rebuild after that. So none of it is for the faint of heart. Right. We make decisions so often that make things more difficult. But for me, the, the boldness and the braveness actually just, it was really part of turning 50. Like Oprah was right for all of the people out there that used to watch Oprah religiously. And she's like, 40 is the best. Okay. 50 is the best. 50 is great. And I had enough social capital and I had enough credentials and I had enough experience and wisdom I had enough support backing me that telling my truth became non optional. more paying a debt, which I feel that I have a heavy one because of the choices and the negative statistics I've added to. So that's a long winded way of saying I find purpose in the things I've gone [00:05:00] through because I share the things I've gone through.

Angelica Maestas (Host): Well, that's, that's powerful. And I resonate with that. And it's only been in the, I think it was March of last year when I started being more open about my background and a lot of the parts that were just very shameful for many years is you don't, you don't want people to know that you're a trans woman.

Angelica Maestas (Host): That you grew up in poverty, that you, your toilet was sometimes a bucket, that you, you, you got ready for school at the bathroom at the gas station. Cause he needed water. but I, I eventually found the beauty that those experiences shaped in me, they created some of the best parts of me, my resourcefulness, the grit, the resilience, all of that.

Angelica Maestas (Host): And so I want to ask you when, when did you start sharing your story? Being a stripper, having a conviction. 

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): It's interesting because I started February of 2024. I had someone that said, do you want to do a podcast? I'm like, you know what? It's time I've got the doctor

Angelica Maestas (Host): Yeah. [00:06:00] Yeah. Yeah.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): people in my life that support and love me no matter what. And said, tell the story. I'm not ashamed of you. That all formed my ability to come out, if you will. You know, when you have, for me, children that say, We're proud of you. Say whatever you want. When you have a spouse for me after several unsuccessful spouses that says, go ahead, say it no matter what. And anybody that doesn't get on board is no longer a part of my life.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): That's, that's very powerful. And that happened. There were people in my spouse's family that even social workers that were like that type of woman, how could you be with them? And I'm like, what, which type of woman are you referring to? Please. Tell me more. Of course they never said it to me directly, but there's power in that.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): And especially coming out of a 10 year relationship in marriage where he told no one, like his [00:07:00] friends didn't know. I spent 10 years around these people and they never knew. And that's probably have changed things. So that's good. I think there's just such. grounding and solidness in owning your own truth.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): And I have to say, I must say, if you are early in your career, that is probably not the best time to announce you were a stripper or that you have a felony or,

Angelica Maestas (Host): Yeah.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): that you used a bucket to wash up

Angelica Maestas (Host): Yeah.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): you used to go to an outhouse or that you had goats in your house growing up. Like none of those things are probably the time to share.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): But When you do become more established and when you, don't care as much about what other people think, or you feel solid enough, that is the time and there's a, there's a fiduciary responsibility in doing that. 

Angelica Maestas (Host): I think that's a very valid point, and I was further enough in my career where I had reputation and network and support, so I do agree with that. And then I was chuckling because we did have goats in our house. I was like, how did you know that?

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): Oh, you too.

Angelica Maestas (Host): You too?

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): my gosh. But they were like my best [00:08:00] friends as an only child. Like animals were my friends and there's some goats I just loved. And then probably ate. So that's a whole nother.

Angelica Maestas (Host): Yeah, my experience was horrific because I had one that I fell in love with that I thought was our friend and then saw him in the freezer at one point. It was. Oh, God. So, yeah, it is. Yeah.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): like, I think the other part that I'm very clear about, and a lot of times people will say to me, well, this all shaped who you are. Look, those that inflicted trauma against me do not get credit for who I am today.

Angelica Maestas (Host): Oh, yeah.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): And the struggles and challenges I went through, don't get like this front seat.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): Like you're so amazing. Cause you went through adversity. Let me be very clear. I would have been incredible. Anyway,

Angelica Maestas (Host): Oh, yeah.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): I don't need nor want, nor do I wish adversity on anyone else. I think we can get here. And I think when we do finally arrive, the last thing I want to do is ever give credit to those that inflicted wrong against [00:09:00] me or those scenarios that made an unequitable experience for me that I then had to overcome

Angelica Maestas (Host): Right.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): all of the energy it took to overcome it. Boy, imagine what I would have been doing instead if I had just had this equity like I would have had money for lunch every single day at school and not have the embarrassment of being on the list of not paying. And when that finally cuts off,

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): would have learned a lot more and I would have contributed a lot more.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): So no credit, no credit to

Angelica Maestas (Host): credit to them. Yes. It was all you and all that you did to become who you are. So I agree with that. I also agree with the point you made about the right partner and, and, and support, and I too had a tenure. I also went through a couple of spouses, had a, a tenure relationship and that spouse was, you know, Very embarrassed by my humble beginnings, as he would call it.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): Mm

Angelica Maestas (Host): me that I couldn't do better because of that. [00:10:00] And that, you know, remind me that I was a mom at 15, you know, all of these things that he just reminded me, well, he don't want the world to know that. And fortunately I,

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): for

Angelica Maestas (Host): that was good for me. And then eventually I, I attracted a man who, who was just so.

Angelica Maestas (Host): Impressed. He was like, you've accomplished so much in spite of all of these things. And last year, when I just started getting comfortable and owning that and recognizing that the story would be, would benefit other people from hearing to help them overcome. And he encouraged me to just do it. And so I did became very vocal about it, share about it on, on this podcast.

Angelica Maestas (Host): And it feels like such a strength and just liberating to be able to do that now. So I think Being able to be authentic takes a lot of time. It took me 40 years. I'm glad I got here.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): It takes time. It takes [00:11:00] gumption. It takes the fear of not telling the fear of being discovered without disclosing has to be greater. And then the fallback of what if I lose everything when I say this, like, you have to be comfortable with that because I can tell you sitting on a couch a couple weeks into dating and telling a former police officer and a person that had been in the military, Hey, there's just this one thing I need to share with you real quick. I'm glad you think I'm pretty. I'm glad you think I'm smart. I'm glad you like are really impressed.

Angelica Maestas (Host): Yeah.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): the way, I've got this felony conviction. And. You know, the only other time for me that it was really discussed was when my ex husband had too much to drink and he'd scream it out, right? Like you stripper or whatever, but such freedom in finding the pockets of acceptance and saying that and having someone say, wow, you've overcome a lot as opposed to, Ooh, you've done a lot. There's such a difference there.

Angelica Maestas (Host): Yeah. Well, and even [00:12:00] the, the tone, and I want to get to your book, but the tone and the tone in which people use when describing women who are accomplished. And the reason I named the podcast, she's ambitious AF when I am, but it was often used as a negative, like, you know, she's ambitious, you know, aren't you ambitious?

Angelica Maestas (Host): Yes, I am. And, and that's what I love about me, but it's not what a lot of people really mean when they say it. And so, you know, you talk about that, you know, what's your tagline? You want to be known for your accomplishments.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): Not my attitude

Angelica Maestas (Host): Yes.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): because my attitude you won't be able to appreciate because of the package that I'm in that I'm in

Angelica Maestas (Host): Yeah.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): and like

Angelica Maestas (Host): Right.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): you again. Yes, it's me

Angelica Maestas (Host): Yeah.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): Oh, you want more. Yes, I do want more. Oh, you think you're the right one. Yes. Matter of fact, I do. And I believe it to the core of my being.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): So you probably want to be able to change my mind. But it's it's not [00:13:00] a compliment. Most of the time.

Angelica Maestas (Host): Right. Right. Well, I want to hear more about your book, Fix Your Face, Watch Your Tone.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): Yeah, fix your face and watch your tone. Women know it's needed. And here's the interesting thing, like, literally every year of my professional career, someone has told me To fix my face or watch my tone or both. And I always say sometimes they were right, but they were always wrong because the least consequential thing about me and the interaction is, is my face and what it looks like.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): That really is only a reflection of when I got Botox last, because whatever I'm thinking, I'm thinking anyways, even if this does not move,

Angelica Maestas (Host): Yeah.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): let it be just a squint of my eye and be confused about what I'm thinking. I've noticed that a lot. And a lot of times my face actually doesn't match with what I'm thinking. Because I've gotten that feedback. Like, why are you upset? I'm like, well, far from it.

Angelica Maestas (Host): Yeah.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): are you angry about? Hadn't even considered it. my book is truly, it's, it's a love letter. It's a love letter [00:14:00] to women and marginalized communities. It's a call to action for allies. It's an acknowledgement of what women in marginalized communities, also known as the global majority based in the workplace and what I've gone through. I talk about my work experiences and my relationship experiences. Because the truth of the matter is there was so many times I just, if you've seen the joy luck club, like I just ate the peanut butter pie, like I just did a big old helping, I got quiet. I got silent. As I look back on relationships, I'm like, what did I learn?

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): I learned silence in my last relationship. learned how to not, not to say what I wanted to say to maintain my financial security. And then I learned I don't have to. And so now I just. But it's, I, I've been told it's an easy read, which was a great compliment, especially since it was from someone who doesn't use English as their first language.

Angelica Maestas (Host): Okay.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): I've been told that it's resonated [00:15:00] with people and I've been told that it helped and it provided an action plan.

Angelica Maestas (Host): Wonderful. Well, I'm looking forward to reading it myself. I am

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): you.

Angelica Maestas (Host): similar with the fix your face comments is I've often been told, you know, I will never play poker with you. And, and, and a lot of people had. Come to me after getting to know me and they said, Oh, I thought you hated me. Like I was just so afraid to approach you.

Angelica Maestas (Host): I was like, really? I was like, well, I just don't convey a lot of emotion on the face. And, and I recognize that that can make it hard to relationship build. And so I would try to be intentional with words. I would try to make it easier for people to interact with me, which is a lot of, a lot of work and it's just signals from society.

Angelica Maestas (Host): And And that's unfortunate. what was your goal behind the book? Why did you write it?

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): Yeah you know, one of the interesting things is that when you look at scientific studies, which I read a whole lot of The [00:16:00] traits that people want in leaders typically is associated with women. Actually, the collaboration, the consensus building, the teamwork approach, the quick shifts to make other people feel comfortable like you were just referencing, and then those are skills that men tend to develop yet. And while women are identified with having those skills in the same set would say women have these skills more, they're more comfortable with male leaders. so this book for me was, you know, All of the times that you are like, oh, I should have said that. I should have said that. darn it, when they said that, you know, and you should for yourself, and this shoulding continues and continues. This is what the response would be. So that's one part of the book. Like, oh, I should have said Andm. Say it now. The other part is think about these things. Think about these things as you progress through your life, right? So that's the second part of it. The third part of it is here are the actual tool steps and resources you should and could have [00:17:00] that will make this journey easier for you.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): So you don't have to do what I did. And that's critically important to me. The only reason it makes sense for me to go through anything is if it prevents or inform someone else so that they can make an educated choice of whether they want to do this or not. Right. And. My daughter says, and I say it in the book when I would go through really hard times, she'd look at me and she'd say, well, it's the middle mom.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): It's supposed to feel this way. You can't see the beginning. You can't see the end. It's the middle. book is for anyone that finds themselves in the middle.

Angelica Maestas (Host): I love that. I also love that men would benefit from reading it as well.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): Yes.

Angelica Maestas (Host): a lot of the speaking, the speaking you do is to workplace culture, right? And you speak to men and women, which is Is important. And you were just, I cut you off. You were just about to say something. 

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): It is critical for men to read this book. There is a whole [00:18:00] chapter for allies. Now, it's in the back of the book, separate but equal. You're invited, but it's critical because the truth of the matter is As we know, like there's more, what, CEOs named James and there were women tech CEOs on the Fortune 500 index, right?

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): And like, whoa, the 2019, I don't have it in front of me, but we know that men are in these spaces, we need the allies. And by the way, men aren't the enemy. Like, they're literally not the enemies. We're asking for a seat at the table. We're not saying that all of the men have to get up from the table.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): You all can either make the table bigger or you can forfeit. I'm good with it either way. But men are components of this. My mentor is a man and he has seen things and been in rooms I haven't been in. I need his expertise, skills, abilities and knowledge. Men are incredible support systems.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): They're not some horrible monster in the closet,

Angelica Maestas (Host): Right.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): though at times they may act that way. Sometimes that's by [00:19:00] choice, sometimes by lack of education, sometimes just. Because they're looking out for their own interests sometimes because they feel passionately, they're making the right choice, whatever it may be. But this is a partnership diversity increases profits. 15 to 35 percent having all women in the room is no more, less valuable than having all men in a room. It's the diversity of thought. It's the mixing of ideas,

Angelica Maestas (Host): Yeah.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): knowledge sets, genders, you know testosterone in and of itself is an incredible hormone that does incredible things in the human body.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): So is estrogen. And we need both of those things.

Angelica Maestas (Host): I am, I just lived to this experience here this week. I hosted a screening of show her the money and it's a documentary. It highlights the, the funding gap, less than 2 percent of venture capital dollars in the U S goes to women. And. we know that, you know, we hear that [00:20:00] it's disgusting, but it's true and it's not something that we just want to keep talking about the gap.

Angelica Maestas (Host): Well, what do we do to change that? And this, the film, the panel discussion afterwards, it was about envisioning a future. where more female founders exist and how that changes, how we live, but how do we go about doing that? A lot of that is getting more women to become investors themselves, because we invest in people who look like us or who reflect the experiences we've had.

Angelica Maestas (Host): And so we'll get more diversity in products, more diversity in services. The other part of that is that men need to be at the table. They need to be as bought into this and seeing the ROI and believing in that as we are. Otherwise this continues right now, men do control the power because they control the money.

Angelica Maestas (Host): And if we don't have them as allies and advocates and champions, then it's a much longer road ahead. Not that it can't be [00:21:00] accomplished, but why not shorten that time? And I was so thrilled that a lot of men were at the event. They were either Spouses, fathers, it was, it was a really great mix and it was just so indicative of, of what's needed in our communities.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): And there's been so much litigation lately around venture capitalism and how that impacts women. And can it be directly allocated to women? I am in conversation with Arlen Hamilton. She does a ton in the venture

Angelica Maestas (Host): Oh, yeah.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): Her book, Your First Million is literally a guidebook in that. And it's it is such an important conversation to continue to have. And Two things can be true at the same time. Things can be lopsided and not equitable and men can be in power and good and bad. Like it

Angelica Maestas (Host): Yeah.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): in the same space. And I think that many times we have this conversation and it's so polarizing to think we learn this like in [00:22:00] kindergarten, you learned, right?

Angelica Maestas (Host): Yeah.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): It can be cold outside, but you can also be hot because you're overdressed.

Angelica Maestas (Host): Yes.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): things can be true. And I think it's important

Angelica Maestas (Host): I love that.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): and, and to. Remember that our allies are our partners and many times I've had people say to me comments that might be disparaging towards men and I'm like, no, actually, I don't think that I have a son.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): I have a husband that I love.

Angelica Maestas (Host): Yeah.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): don't hate men. I have actually pretty traditional home by choice, though, not by mandate. And I think that's the biggest thing. It's the choice. Interesting.

Angelica Maestas (Host): bad to both. And we're shaped [00:23:00] by our experiences and they're all they inform how we feel the things we care about. But they also inform our fears. And if you say one side is wrong, well Then you're essentially saying those people and their fears are, are unfounded, whichever side of the fence.

Angelica Maestas (Host): And so I have I've learned about liberation in workplace culture and fear consciousness and love consciousness recently. And it's just made me this is the most. I feel like this election, no matter the outcome, I've been given a gift because I have never before been so open to both sides before and understanding.

Angelica Maestas (Host): Yeah, it's, it's, it's been a little bit mind blowing to me and I feel so relieved.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): I, you know, I can say I have never been so solidly in camp in an election before. I can also say I've never missed Ronald Reagan, John McCain, George Bush so much in my life before. I, I [00:24:00] miss what I growing up knew as the Republican party for me. I miss that. I miss having two sides where I could, I miss I miss the center. I miss the middle. And for me, it's definitely been a much more polarizing experience as I sit here waiting for

Angelica Maestas (Host): Yeah.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): I'm like, I said to someone the other day, I'm waiting to see what my Country feels about me. That's what it feels like for me. And they said well, couldn't you extend grace and how people, you know, receive different information.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): I'm like, I'm 50 years old. I only extend grace to people that I want. I no longer extend grace to many categories. of people. I don't extend grace to racist and I don't extend grace to bigots wherever they may fall. And this is inside of politics are outside. I know exactly who I am. I got plenty of yoga teacher training and certification certified yoga teacher.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): I know how to meditate and also know how to set boundaries. And for me in this election, I've enjoyed the opportunity to be very clear about my [00:25:00] boundaries.

Angelica Maestas (Host): Yeah. Yes.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): I think it's so sad that people and families aren't talking to each other anymore. And I know what it's like. To have to live within a community that feels very strongly one way the danger of sharing your thoughts. The other, I did that. I did that last election. And and potentially actually the election before that. And it just is really a challenging space. So I have empathy those that are challenged. And are feared into silence, for sure.

Angelica Maestas (Host): I believe that fear has been used to, to get on borders and support and, and. That happens in elections, but never to the degree that I've, I've seen now. Yeah.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): This is new. For sure. It feels new.

Angelica Maestas (Host): yeah. And I will say, just to clarify, it's not that I don't believe in labeling certain [00:26:00] candidates good or bad, because I have my feelings on them.

Angelica Maestas (Host): It was good and it was bad just personally, but it's more the the voters that they've influenced and, and what's been, what's feeling that. And a lot of that feel fear is used to feel, to feel their votes and that's not right. Those people themselves aren't necessarily bad, but they are, they're having different lived experiences and, and that's, that's what shapes all of us is our experiences and if they are different and if you can feed on one person's fear, then some candidates do that more than others.

Angelica Maestas (Host): Yeah.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): coming over the wall, I get just as scared as when I'm watching the movie now living in a border state, it's not been my experience. It doesn't mean it's not someone else's. I just personally have never seen zombies coming over the wall in my state of Arizona, but like I haven't been everywhere and I don't know everything.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): So there's truth in that.

Angelica Maestas (Host): Yes. All [00:27:00] right. Well, this has been a wonderful conversation, Dr. B. I want to round it out with some rapid fire questions before we conclude. All right. If your life had a theme song, what would it be?

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): Oh, that's such a good one. I can tell you the music that I used to hear all the time in my head, as I was like walking in the office would be Missy Elliott, Sock it to him. Like dun, dun,

Angelica Maestas (Host): Ah, I love it.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): can tell you before I go on stage, I'm usually listening to Square Peg, Round Hole, or The Man. There's two songs that you can find on Spotify.

Angelica Maestas (Host): Okay.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): what's going

Angelica Maestas (Host): Okay.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): some Kelly Rowland. If my life had a theme song I mean, do we go like to the hills? The rest is yet unwritten. Like, I love

Angelica Maestas (Host): Whatever feels right. I know. Yeah.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): like I start each chapter with a, with a theme song, hopefully like some Queen Latifah or MC Lyte would be considered for a theme [00:28:00] song.

Angelica Maestas (Host): I love it.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): fire, long answer, fail.

Angelica Maestas (Host): It'll be a blend. One rock star woman you'd like to meet. 

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): You know, I have a lot of respect for Pink. I think she would qualify as rock star. I have a lot of respect for Queen Latifah, which is more in my demographic of music. But if there was one artist, and I've gone to several of her concerts, I would love to meet Sara Bareilles. And I would forfeit that for my daughter to meet her, although it would be heartbreaking. I resonate with so much of her music.

Angelica Maestas (Host): I love her as well. And I also thought it was, it's funny that you mentioned pink because the event I had, I I gave out matchboxes and it was in line with just like fire. And so there was a whole a whole angle there on how it resonates as a strong woman, as a female entrepreneur.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): love it, love it.

Angelica Maestas (Host): Favorite way to celebrate an achievement.

Angelica Maestas (Host): Yeah. [00:29:00] Yeah. I

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): an achievement is to curl up in my bed with thick socks in pajamas and do a puzzle. I'm not a party like throw a party person. I'm not even necessarily like jump on a plane and go on a trip. really enjoy my life, so I don't feel a need to necessarily, but I. I love a good puzzle on my iPad and just, just time to reflect. I, not good about celebrating people are like, when you got your doctorate, what did you do? I'm like, Oh, I got drug out of the house to go to dinner. I was ready to curl up in bed. You finished writing your book. What did you do? I got drug out of the house to go to dinner, but I really just wanted to jump in bed. You know, the, the favorite, the short answer is my favorite way to celebrate an achievement is to hear from someone how it. It impacted them. That's the truth.

Angelica Maestas (Host): love that. I also relate because jigsaw on my iPad is my favorite [00:30:00] thing to do. It's just mine is just love it.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): Yeah. Quiet the mind.

Angelica Maestas (Host): Yes. Most inspiring quote or book 

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): Oh, that is so tough. It's like which one of your Children? I mean, there's

Angelica Maestas (Host): depends on the day, right?

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): Yeah, I mean, there's Viola Davis finding me. There's gutsy women. I really enjoyed for the culture by Dr Marcus Collins. You know, your first million I found very inspiring. My favorite quote. 

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): One of my favorite quotes would be from my yoga instructor back in Southern Pines, North Carolina, Virginia Gallagher. And she said, we teach so that other people can remember what they've forgotten. And I think about that probably more than I should probably more than what's normal, but I think about that a lot.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): And I tried to approach discussions that I'm [00:31:00] reminding you, like, there's nothing I'm saying that's new under the sun. I'm just reminding you of, of what might've slipped off your radar.

Angelica Maestas (Host): That's beautiful. I love that one. And a piece of advice you'd give to your younger self. Yeah. Yeah.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): do it. The choices made out of desperation. Don't do it. The things that seemed kind of shaky and you thought might have been wrong. Don't do it. and the time you turn down your grandmother's invitation to go around Africa on safari and see the world. Don't turn that down. You will regret that. Like she told you, don't do that. greatest piece of advice I would say. And I've shared this with my daughter and other people live your life like you are going to meet your perfect partner when you were 32 and not a day before. [00:32:00] if you live your life that way, what are all the things you would do if you didn't have to worry about finding the right person?

Angelica Maestas (Host): Oh my goodness.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): experience? What would you develop? How would you show up in the world? How fearless would you be? How courageous would you be? That no matter what you did, you would find the person that you were looking for. Adores, cherishes, respects, and supports you. At 32, what would your twenties look like? Oh, I wish I would have heard that advice. I wish that would have been something said to me.

Angelica Maestas (Host): Gosh. I love that. 

Angelica Maestas (Host): And last but not least, what can our listeners do for you?

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): Ah, well, thank you for that. Please get the book, fix your face and watch your time. Women know what's needed. It's on Amazon. Follow me on Dr. V Boykin on YouTube. Follow me on LinkedIn. Subscribe, share, comment, whether you agree or not. all of that is important and it helps spread the word. And then think good thoughts, be kind,

Angelica Maestas (Host): Yeah.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): a decent human being, see the humanity in others.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): All of that supports everything that [00:33:00] I'd like to see just a little bit shifted by the time I leave the world.

Angelica Maestas (Host): Awesome. It's been wonderful having you on Dr. B.

Dr. V Boykin (Guest): Thank you so much. It's been such a pleasure. 

And that's a wrap on another episode of She's Ambitious AF. Remember to dream big, hustle harder, and show the world that when it comes to success, we're not just ambitious, we're Ambitious AF.