158. MONDAY MINDSET: For all the hot bitches who told they're 'too much'

In this episode, I'm breaking down why being called "too much," "too ambitious," or "too loud" is actually a sign you're on the right track. I'll share my recent experience of being told I'm "too ambitious" to date (ouch), and why our response to criticism reveals more about our own beliefs than what others actually think of us.

If you've ever dimmed your light to be more palatable, or second-guessed your ambition because someone felt threatened by it, this episode is for you.

Key Topics Covered:

• Why being "too much" is actually a star quality in business
• How to respond when people try to pull you back down
• The polarity principle: criticism means you're also deeply inspiring others
• My story of being told I'm "too ambitious" and what it revealed
• The work you need to do when criticism activates you
• Why your "too muchness" is exactly what will change lives
• How to lean into being more visible, more ambitious, more YOU

TIMESTAMPS:

0:00:00 - Intro: Hot bitches who've been told they're too much
0:01:30 - Why people say you're "too much" instead of saying they're inspired
0:02:34 - My story: Being told I'm "too ambitious" to date
0:03:27 - The choice: Dim your light or lean in harder?
0:04:21 - What to do when someone says you're too much
0:05:15 - The polarity principle: Criticism = inspiration for others
0:06:19 - What would happen if I became less ambitious?
0:07:25 - The real work: What if YOUR fear is being activated?
0:09:09 - Rewriting the narrative when you're always defensive

🔗 LINKS & RESOURCES:
Hot Business Audit: https://hot-business.scoreapp.com/
The $35 Offer: https://www.professionalbabe.com/the-35-offer/
Business Bang: https://www.professionalbabe.com/business-bang/
Give Good Email: https://www.professionalbabe.com/give-good-email/ 

Transcript

squadcaster-45b2_1_01-11-2026_140554 0:00

Well hands up the hot bitches that have been told that they are too much. I got my hands up. I'm shaking 'em around. I'm shaking my tits. Uh, I feel it is a rite of passage for people that are doing something that is deeply aligned, that is visionary, that is incredible, that maybe rocks the boat that is deeply authentic, that you are going to be on the receiving end. Of someone that is gonna tell you that you are being too much or you are being too ambitious, or you are being too out there, too controversial. Whatever it is, they see you step out of line. Remember? What is normalized is often mediocre. It's crap. You know, we don't wanna be that. We are the 1% we are here to do incredible things. you are gonna be on the receiving end of people that witness you existing and things, and moving through life and like making business decisions, spending money, whatever it is. And because this question's potentially for them, a narrative that they have or a belief or how they live their life, you're gonna be on the receiving end of that sometimes. And quite often people will lack self-awareness or maybe they are aware. Maybe they just wanna hurt you. And instead of saying, I think it is so incredible what you're doing, and I am so inspired by you, I love how you declare that you are gonna make all this money. I love that you say you are gonna do that, and then you go and do it. I wish I could be like you. Thank you for being expander for me, obsessed with you. They don't do that. Do you know what they do? Wow, that's a lot. You're too much. Because what they're trying to do in that moment is instead of them seeing this for themselves, as you, again, being that expander and being inspired by you, they try to pull you back down and gosh, it doesn't feel good. Like who has ever felt deeply proud? Or maybe you even feel a bit vulnerable like you are. running your business or you're doing things in this new way and it feels scary, and maybe you are yet to get good feedback on what you're doing or have someone say, Hey, I'm really proud of you. This is exceptional. And the first bit of feedback you get is someone that is clearly activated by you that tells you that you are just too much. It hurts. I had this recently. I, put my sexy little heart out there. I was a bit vulnerable I had a man say to me, I would never date you because you are too ambitious. That hurt like a knife to the heart. And the reason it hurt so much is because I think that my ambition and my drive. One of the most Peter things about me, it's one of the best things about me. You ask anyone that is so obsessed with me, they'll be like, I love that you just go and do all the things and you go and get all the things that you say that you're gonna do. So the fact that someone would see that and they would not like that, it, it hurt a little, and I was a little, and what I get to do in that situation, same as you, we have two choices. We can decide are we gonna dim our light? Am I gonna pull myself back? Am I being too ambitious? Am I being too much? Am I being too loud? Am I being too me? Or am I gonna lean into that more? Because what I know to be true is that when people stand out, that's a star quality. That is a superstar in the making. That is when trends get started. Anyone that is standing out online, their brand is exploding. They're standing out for a reason. Of course, they are too much when the baseline is hardly anything. Of course, they're being too loud. When everyone is being silent, when their opinion, Of course they're wanting too much. When everyone is asking for hardly anything, they are settling for scraps. Anyone settling for scraps? If you go out there and you declare everything that you want and you go get it, the person that is settling for scraps, you know, maybe they're inspired, but there's a chance when you are gonna activate the shit out of them. So what we get to do here is we get to lean into this. If someone tells you that you are too much, instead of justifying how you are not, you get to be like, yeah, I am and I'm fucking worth it. When someone tells you that you are too ambitious, you get to be like, absolutely I am, but I could be more ambitious. Lemme go get a billboard. When someone tells you that you are too loud and that you are doing too much content, you then decide, I'm gonna lean into this more. Like, thank you for highlighting something that's clearly working for me. Like this is standing out to you. So if it's standing out to you, it's gonna stand out to other people. And guess what happens when it stands out to other people? For the person that wants to be ambitious. If they are like, oh my gosh, I feel like I need a role model, I need an expander. They're gonna find you and they're gonna be like, shit, I, I wanna, I wanna work with her. I want proximity. I'm gonna buy her course. I'm gonna binge all of her stuff. I'm obsessed for the person that feels like that they can't find their voice when they find you. And you are effortlessly speaking about all the things that are hot on your heart without ramification, without, without caring. If people are gonna hate you, they're gonna be so inspired by you. Because I want you to remember that there is always light and shade. There is dark and light, there is polarity. So if you are having people that are deeply offended or activated. That cannot exist without the other side of that, of people who are deeply inspired, that are so grateful that they have found you. And it is the worst thing that you can do for them, And it is the worst thing that you can do for yourself if you dim that light and you become less and less and less to become more palatable. You have been given this gift or this little seed or this fire. Like I want you to think about something that someone says that they've tried to like throw back in your face. Your too muchness. Think about that and think about how that can change the fucking world. How cool is that? Think about how this is gonna change your life. Think about how this is gonna change everyone's life around them. So I know for me, when someone said to me, you're too ambitious. Oh, what if I was less ambitious? What would, what would happen from that? I would probably show up less. Maybe I'd stop the podcast. Maybe I wouldn't sell more. And then what happens to all of those people that could have listened to the podcast and could have become a client? It wouldn't have happened. They wouldn't be helped. and that isn't helping anyone. And hot stuff. Here is the biggest caveat of all this is. This is huge, and this is something that I, I wish I learned a lot sooner. If someone is saying something to us, there is a chance that what they're saying could be completely neutral, or they could even say this in a positive way. Maybe they just haven't chosen the right word. Maybe for us that word has a negative connotation, but for them it's something empowering, powerful. If you hear what someone says and it is your worst nightmare, or it activates you. So let's pretend, you know, when I heard that I was too ambitious, let's pretend that he had said that and I already was feeling too much and that I wanted too much, and I was so scared and I was looking for a sign. Maybe not consciously, but I was looking for a sign that maybe I was thinking a little too big, and I should think a bit smaller. If someone says something to you and all of a sudden your world comes crashing down around you, and it is the worst thing in the world that you have just heard. It's actually not about what they said. It is your feelings about what you are doing. Do you think you're too much? Do you think that you are too opinionated? Do you think that you're too ambitious? Do you think that you're too salesy? Do you think that about you? Because if you hearing all of these things is your worst nightmare, that's actually the work that you have to do. It's not about. You know, justifying your ambition or justifying your voice, it is about you understanding that you are always gonna be who you are, and you have to accept that, and you have to be proud of that. And if someone telling you something is your worst nightmare, that is the work that you have to do. So for all the bitches that have been told in life that they are too much or too whatever. Go be more. Go be as big as you can go, be visible, embody that like go and do it. Because the more negative feedback that you get it, it has to be matched with people that are deeply obsessed with you. The caveat is if someone says something and it activates the fuck out of you and you take it as a negative, or someone's saying something to you and you always feel like you're on the defensive, what do you mean? She said, I've got good content. What do you mean? She said, well, that sales email was great. What do you mean sales email? If you are always thinking that someone is attacking you when they're speaking, you gotta get over that. You gotta rewrite that. And what I do, someone could say the most vicious thing to me. I will still do work to be like, wow, they said that my content was really fucked, but they took their time outta their day to send it and they added an emoji and they punctuated it so. You know, our work, our work as entrepreneurs, it's never ending, is it? It is never ending. So hot stuff. I love this. I love you. I love you more than the sunshine. How beautiful is it outside? I love you more than that, I love you more than good people with a good heart that are there for you. Like how good are friends? I love you more than they have this at Woolworths. It's like a L'Oreal like touchup spray, so I get my roots done. And you can't, you can't even see, you can't even see the gray. Guess what I've done? I've got spray on hair color, sprayed it on, uh, because I need to get my roots done. And. I don't have an appointment for I think like two or three more weeks, so I'm just spraying on my hair color and it's so good. You can't even tell if I didn't say anything, you would be like, wow, look at, she has no regrowth. She's just perfect. I wish I was perfect, but I'm not. But the next best thing to being perfect is going and buying this. It's in like a little like green or tealy colored spray bottle. And what I love about it as well is they have like warm tones and they've got like cool tones, which I think they did. Did I just make that up? No, I'm sure I'm not making this up. Do you do that sometimes when you will say something and then you're like, actually that doesn't exist. Is this my brain just wishing something that existed anyway? I love you more than that because I don't really like to have regrowth. I always just like to have that like baseline level perfection. Love you more than that. I love you more than, oh my God. How did I not say this sooner? I've been batch recording my podcast episodes, and I cannot believe I haven't told you this. I went and spent, like, I went and bought all these towels. What did I buy? I bought face washers. I bought some guest towels, which are smaller than hand towels. I bought some bath towels and bath sheets. And there's this company called Polite Society. They're right near work, and these are like, it's almost like a waffle weave cotton towel. They're made in Portugal. Oh my God. They're so gorgeous. They're crisp white. Every time I have a shower, I feel expensive. It is a luxurious experience and they dry really quickly. Like I love that. I don't like a wet towel. I don't like a damp towel. I don't like it at all. It puts me in a bad mood. It sense. It's, it's, it's, it's. It's a sensory fucking nightmare, and they're so good. I love them. I love that. I can like have a shower and I can put my towel up and it's completely dry. It's bone dry the next day. It's amazing, obsessed. So I went, I actually think I'm gonna go buy more. I, I'm, I, you know what? I'm gonna go buy more. I'm gonna go buy more towels. I have, I have so many of these fucking towels. I'm so obsessed with them and it feels so good as well that I can do that. Do you know how good it feels that I have a adult money and I can just go and buy towels? It's so funny. There was once, like a moment in time. When I was like living off my credit card and my line of credit and I had money coming in, but the money couldn't even really sustain my life and I felt like that I could never just go and indulge and like buy things like this. So big love to my past self. What a fucking babe. Big love to your past self. What a babe. Hot stuff. Hot stuff. I love this. I love you. And guess what? Guess I'll see you on the next episode.

12:51

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