Not All Spirits Are Jerks
Previously a clinical psychologist, Frances is now integrated in the world of shamanism in Mongolia. Along the way she has been in over 250 places across lands including Nepal, India, Sápmi (Norway side), Greenland, Bhutan, Iceland, Denmark, Mexico, South Korea, Scotland, Ireland, and Taiwan. The most unbelievable stories are the true ones. Join Frances as she spills tea about working for the Spirits, seeing the unseen, decolonization, haunted hotel rooms, and more!
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Not All Spirits Are Jerks
Beyond Vision Boards: Cosmic Manifesting
Imagine manifesting a free bottle of wine at the grocery store or even a puppy for your partner. Sounds too good to be true, right? Join Frances as she shares personal stories of how she has done just that, and delve into the concept of interconnectedness that goes beyond vision boards. Discover how understanding the grander universe can help you tap into the true power of manifesting.
Have you ever considered the role of spiritual guidance in manifesting our desires? In this episode, Frances also discusses the importance of having a council of spirits around us. We'll explore the complexities of manifesting from our higher self versus our human self and how spiritual bypassing can be mistaken for true enlightenment.
Lastly, we tackle the importance of being open to the unexpected when it comes to manifesting our dreams. Listen in to unlock the keys to manifesting your heart's desires and embracing the interconnectedness of the universe.
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Hi, i'm Frances. Welcome to Not All Spirits Are Jerks, a podcast named after my main spirit guide, as he's actually pretty much the biggest jerk that I've ever known. Today, i'd like to share the story of how I manifested my sister a free bottle of wine from the grocery store by making all three of her children spontaneously sick And yes, the jerk spirit guide had a hand in it. I'll also be sharing what I would be doing differently next time. If you're new here, welcome and hello. You may want to check out season one, episode one, where I talk about in more detail the whole journey of how I went from being a clinical psychologist to someone recognized as a shaman in Mongolia, where I do spend part of my time. Before I share how I got my sister some free booze from the universe, let's back up a little bit and talk about the much misundersed topic of manifesting.
Speaker 1:I think the way that I see manifesting explained in many spaces that I moved through is completely missing the point. The truth is much more wild, much more confusing And ultimately, i believe, a lot more liberating as well, if you can tolerate a lot of confusion, but it is what it is. So what I see in many spaces is manifesting, told in this sort of simplistic way of like, just make a vision board and wait. You know, like let's wait until the next solar eclipse and we'll ask the universe for what we want and we'll reassess our vision boards on this eclipse. And if you didn't get what you want, you did something wrong. This folks is just absolutely has nothing to do with how it really works. Now, i genuinely love a good vision board. I'm just saying the simplicity around the explanation is missing how, how the grander universe is working around you. Do your vision board by all means, but let's get a little more sophisticated in our understanding of what it is that you're calling in. If you know what you're doing, if you know how you're driving your spaceship, that's just not the way that you're going to be moving about it. If only it were that simple. But the good news is you aren't failing. You really can't fail. You kind of also can't win, depending on how you define what winning is. But the game is a lot more fun when you start understanding the larger complexity around us. So let's start with the basics.
Speaker 1:I remember when I first opened that was the beginning of. It was like nine years ago now I was living in Durham, north Carolina, and I had a really sweet little cozy, cozy life with a partner and two dogs and a vegetable garden out front and in back. We had these two old, beautiful trees, much, much higher than the house that we lived in. We had someone come and look at them one time because we thought one of the trees was sick and we were told they were like 150 and 125 years old. They're real, like old, wise trees, tree beings that we had around us. But this one tree, the one that was closer to the house, had a branch that was sticking like right out at a 90 degree angle from the trunk, and this branch was a lot lower than the other branches in the tree and it just got under my skin. It just aesthetically didn't like. It didn't like how the branch looked. The whole tree kind of had like a nice form to it. And then there was this like this one little branch And from the time we moved in I never liked that branch and it kind of, you know, i wouldn't think about it much but I would just walk outside and every time I saw it I would think like, oh, that branch, and then move along with my day. Well, when I started to open, it wasn't the first strange thing that happened, but this is like. Within the first, maybe eight months or so, my partner, who would get up a much earlier than me, went outside to see the branch had fallen, had like crashed onto the ground And this was no small branch, i mean, its diameter was probably that of like the length of a grown man's hand And I had crashed onto our porch. When I saw that branch, i just had the weirdest feeling that I had something to do with it, which is like really hard to hold.
Speaker 1:When you were, your whole identity was built on being basically a material atheist, believing nothing existed beyond what you could see with your eyes in touch with your hands. Now I was raised, thinking that the universe was just quite a simple game of. We are on a planet with living organisms spinning around a ball of fire and a much greater spiral going around the black hole in some far flung corner of the universe. If only it were that simple, folks, because there's something else going on too And I had no idea about it before. All of this spontaneously happened to me.
Speaker 1:I don't quite have the words for it in the English language, because English, i think, is missing intentionally some words, but words come to mind like consciousness, energy. So we are part of something much grander and it is in this much grander way everything absolutely is connected. I sort of think of it as like a healthy lung cell and a healthy liver cell. Now, those cells are independent of each other, they may know nothing of each other, but in another way of looking at it, they're absolutely dependent on each other and exist within one. they're just part of one being. And that's how I start to think of things now, that at least just thinking about all the people on earth, you may be living an independent life, but at the same time, truly every single person on this planet, every being on this planet, we are interconnected and dependent on each other. The health of one community is related to the health of communities we may never, ever know, and for us all to be living in a healthy way, it means everyone needs to be living in a healthy way. We can't just take care of some in our community and forget others. It doesn't work that way because it's all connected. And when I say interconnected, i don't just mean in like the physical realm, i mean in some very, very spooky ways, it gets even stranger.
Speaker 1:But we'll leave the conversation for other things like time, for another day. Spoiler alert I don't think time is as like, steady and reliable as we actually experience it in our day to day life, anyway. So let's start with the basics. So I have so much respect and gratitude for that old wise tree being for sacrificing her branch for me, because this was a lesson I needed to learn really early on. I went into meditation after I saw that branch, as I was doing quite often at the time, and a voice came. It felt like intuition, i don't know, it was kind of like at the beginning, and I was shown, told, understood that I had killed that branch by my, by my neck, focus negativity on it.
Speaker 1:I needed that lesson really early on to understand that the strongest voice in the universe is actually that small, quiet voice within you that no one else hears. That is the channel that is tuned to the infinite around us And what we're putting out on that channel is what we're calling back in in some complicated ways. There's another very important voice for us And that's that loud outside voice to tell someone to f off if they're up in your business too much. I'm not discounting that voice and the power of that as well, but for today we're talking about manifesting And for that game let's talk about that small, quiet, powerful inside voice. What that voice is doing and what the beliefs that we hold are doing they're shaping the energy that's moving through us, because we're not still beings, we're part of a living, i don't know like continuously blossoming flower of energy, and it's constantly moving through us. The flow never stops. If it stops, then you're no longer here, body dropped Oh gosh, that's not the right way to say it. You've moved on. Even then, you're still part of the flow of energy. So, anyway, we're always flowing And the thoughts that we have in our head and the beliefs that we hold about ourselves, that's actually shaping the energy around us.
Speaker 1:A way that I like to think about it is way, way back when I was what I call my previous life, when I was actually in graduate school to become a clinical psychologist. I spent a couple years working as a behavior analyst. Yes, and if you know anything about it, this is not anything to be bragging about, but I did spend a couple years working as a behavior analyst for the state of Tennessee. I worked with this dear man named Jim not real name And Jim. He was a bit of a behavior analyst nerd, if you will, and he had a little polo made up that he liked to wear like every Thursday or something, and on the he had it embroidered on the shirt, always behaving Little behaviorism joke, because it didn't mean he was behaving well, it just meant in any moment there are behaviors happening And sometimes in that way, i think if I ever start my own like merch line for my little life, i would make a hoodie that said like always manifest in on it to acknowledge that we're literally in every moment, always manifesting. So long as we are part of this flow of consciousness which we are, there isn't a pause button. In this moment, right now, you are manifesting, you are projecting something out in this mirage and that is coming back to you, that's being reflected back to you. I'm going to add an extra layer to that now.
Speaker 1:So several years before I accidentally killed this branch, back when I was earlier in graduate school, my partner really, really wanted a dog. I had zero interest in getting a dog, but I had great interest in continuing a relationship with him, and so I was in a time where I think I was maybe writing a lot or I could be around during the day that if we got a puppy, i could be the one to take care of it. And although I knew absolutely nothing about taking care of a puppy, i felt like this is something I could offer him. So we decided we were going to get a dog together a huge step in the relationship, you know And as soon as we decided that, we knew we wanted to rescue and there happened to be this great rescue in Durham that occasionally had puppies move through And we thought, well, we'd like a puppy, but if it's not a puppy, that's okay. Days later, this litter of the cutest little pit bull babies, pit mixes, cutest little pits in the whole world turned up at this rescue And my partner took a one look at one of these puppies and said that's my dog. And he went there like three hours earlier something at least in my mind. It was that early And he was the first one in the door and he scooped up this little baby girl and we named her Zelda and she was our blue pit.
Speaker 1:Now my love for this dog has literally changed my life. Zelda is no longer part of my life and I'm no longer with that partner, but she truly changed my life. She changed my life. Looking back, i recognize that there was The force in the universe around me that knew what I wanted, needed, that I didn't know for myself, so I wasn't actively manifesting. May I have a dog in my life, but something brought that gift, that gift of that beautiful spirit, zelda, into that life And she ended up being, and continues to be, a really important part of my journey.
Speaker 1:I share this story with you to tell you about a time when it seems like where I know that there was something around me that was like manifesting for me. Something around me knew what I needed, which I didn't even know about myself. I wish I could say we all have this around us. We almost all of us do ancestors, spirits, allies, fairies, hidden people, like it's a wild jungle of spirits out there, but the reality is I see some of us don't have these good, helping spirits around us And that's okay. We can build our council, we really can. That's never a personal feeling. That's always.
Speaker 1:There's a story there about how the connections with the higher spirits around you have been lost because of things that were totally outside of your control. Don't take this as anything about you, but there is something that you can do to help it. I'll give you a quick suggestion right now. But there's so many ways you could do this. That's not just a podcast episode, that's a couple of episodes. There's just so many ways, because there's so much beauty in the universe and there's so much around us that's trying to help us. It is in your ancestry, even if we've lost the connection to that. It's in the land around us, the water, the air. But I'm just going to give you a quick suggestion for today. If you got a little gut feeling like maybe you're one of those in the minority who don't have a lot of great spirits around you, the great thing is it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:My ancestors are not actually a big part of my story. I don't really know what they're doing, but they're not. They're not really strong in what I do, and that's okay. They're really, really generous spirits around us And some of the ones that come to mind that I find they'll happily work with you if you just give them a ring. Literally, you just Google them and look at an image and ask will you show yourself around me or bring your presence around me or whatever words come to you. Some of the spirits that I've seen are easily findable and generous are the archangels, which, for me, are not related to the Christian religion. Ganesh is actually really generous. Kuan Yin, goddess of compassion.
Speaker 1:Perhaps you know of some spirits around you as well. You can always call them in. That's really what I did for myself If I made my council. Some I came in within this lifetime, but others I just kind of call around me. So there are generous spirits around you and you can build your council to help you always manifest it in the way that you want to be moving. Now, if there's a little gut feeling around you that like, no matter what you do, something just keeps blocking you, it is sometimes because people got bad juju around them. It just happens, and so you may want to go to a sacred healer or a sound healing or a river and do what needs to be done to get some of that, that icky stuff, off of you. That's actually a huge hurdle that I see people missing is you got to keep your energy clean, otherwise some hinky stuff is going to be blocking your path. But don't worry, i don't think it's possible in this realm to like over manifest.
Speaker 1:Now I as a child random story, but I was in a bit of a hot air balloon crash And a year it's strange to say I was 12. And a year later I developed a phobia of flying, which it wasn't until like decades later that I put the two together. But anyway, i had a fear of flying for a good long part of my life And it still comes up every once in a while. I had spent oh goodness, i can't tell you how many plane flights I've had through my like teenage, early 20 years where I literally would spend the entire time sweating bullets, visualizing the plane in all the different ways that it could fall out of the sky not in a way of anything other than like manifesting is what I would say this was like. It was like visualization work, it was like master manifesting, and you think of it in terms of like visualizing. It really put your senses there. I did everything you possibly could do to use my mind to get these planes to fall to the sky from a place of fear, right. Never once had a scary thing happen on a plane And in fact now my sister is a pilot, she's also fine.
Speaker 1:So if we're in this heavy, dense human realm, we can play around with these energies of the universe, but we're not in the higher realms yet. So in Buddhist cosmology they talk about these higher realms, where I see them as like beings of all light And what they think is spontaneously what is. And thankfully we in the human realm don't have that ability quite yet, because it would be disastrous for all of us. Can you imagine if everything you thought came true? So we're not there. So don't don't worry about your powers yet. By the time you have full control over your manifesting abilities, you will probably be in a different realm and you're good.
Speaker 1:Just think of this as like the training place, a little bit of a playground, where we get to play around and learn about the infinite power that we actually hold within ourselves, every one of us. So, along with all these spirits around us helping us moving along, there are actually more than one you, and we're going to talk about two of those yous that are the most important for considering manifesting today. So we'll call it like the higher self, you and the human you. Now, the human you is just a ball of all of your insecurities and arrogance and attachments and fears and you know so much of the human us. It's just like collected karma. That's kind of gummed up, you know like. Or the continuation of stories of parents and people around us who did ours, their best to raise us but they passed their insecurities onto us or gave us stories to push back against, both being ways that we're not really connecting with our higher self. But the higher you know, the higher you is. Where you know, everything is connected, it's all one And there is no separation between self and others. Now, this higher you, she's chill, she does not smut, she does not sweat the small stuff, she doesn't even really sweat the big stuff Because she knows that there's a lot of things going across many realms And what may at first seem like an obstacle is sometimes just a gift and we can't always know When we're manifesting. We want to try to manifest from that higher place And since, since she's there already, why not? you know, we could just skip ahead to the higher self.
Speaker 1:Like we've all seen those people who are, like you know, kind of, maybe a little spaced out and they're just one with everything. They kind of roll with what comes and accepts everything as part of the plan. They often are in these spiritual places. So those people, they may be enlightened. I did meet an enlightened cow in India once and he was a lot like this. It's just this like huge, much larger than normal from what I had seen. Black cow hanging out in Bodh Gaya on the street side eating garbage, just emanating pure light. I've never seen anything like it before since. So these beings, these chill, spacey beings, they may be enlightened by that cow, but more likely they're actually just spiritual bypassing. You can't trick the universe. What your heart desires, it desires. What you despise, you despise And that's just your karma. Karma for me is just the lesson plan that we have coming into this life. So there are different ways that we can work with karma.
Speaker 1:But when we think about our vision board and what we're trying to manifest, it gets a little complicated, like how do we know if we're manifesting from our higher self or from that more human self? I think the best answer I have is we don't always know, we just do our best. Especially in spiritual communities, i see people trying to like manifest the life they want to live And they get really frustrated when it doesn't come to them And I think that's because they've forgotten that manifesting is not a menu. They're playing the spiritual game, so they're accelerating, sometimes even these lessons. Is that true? I don't know if I believe that anymore. I think life is just hard for all of us sometimes, but we don't always know, And so I think the best that we can do is try to stay in our hearts as much as possible and try to highest and for the highest and best of all manifest the lessons that we need and the grace that we can have around it to move through it.
Speaker 1:If we have some desires, i've seen for some people the best thing for them to do is to go straight towards those desires and just throw themselves in until they're done. For other people that's the pathway down. There is no one way to manage this, like dance between the higher self and the human self. But I think we can't totally live in the human self and we can't totally live in the higher self. It's a skill to grow to recognize that. I don't know. I think in some ways it's always the higher self pushing us through the human self anyway to bring us back to the one. And yeah, it's all a circle anyway.
Speaker 1:And then there's the question of once we've put our order into the restaurant. At the end of the universe do we know that They're working on our dish? It doesn't always look the way we expect it to look. You know, you may dream about that beach home, but how you get there might be in really unexpected ways. I know this guy who is just completely trapped in his karma, but he's a really strong manifestor, so He seems to be given exactly what he's asking for again and again and again. It just feels like his spirit guides are like Ya done, ya done. So, even specifically I mean women And so I think even when we put our order in and we get what we ordered, you might have a jerk spirit guide around you too, and it might be a trap. There's just so much to consider.
Speaker 1:So let's touch base here. I'm hoping that some of these stories that I'm sharing with you just give you an opportunity to kind of play around with the idea of manifesting and how you may have been thinking about it before. We're talking about how we can be manifesting from a higher self or the human self, how there are always energies around us that we have access to that can help us along, and if we're in the human realm. We're here to clear karma. No one here is a baked potato. We all have stuff to do. So I want to share a story with you so we can reflect upon it together.
Speaker 1:I remember I was at a seminar or something some years ago. I think it was like at a crystal shop. It was in the USA And there was this woman. She was teaching the course. It wasn't that great, i wasn't so interested. But she suddenly just decided that we were all terrible manifesters and like we need to put everything else in pause and she was going to teach us how to manifest. So she said let me show you how you do this the right way. She grabs our huge staff and she stands up in front of us And she assumes this posture of like would I imagine to be like a defiant seven year old refusing to go to bed, kind of you know, back a little arched, legs a bit apart, and she spreads back her shoulders and she says you tell the universe what you want. And she stamps that staff and she says and then you say I want it and I want it now. It was horrifying And I just feel like this is the kind of story that comes from the USA because honestly, i don't think that I'm going too far to say, in this culture and this current dominant culture, right now and throughout living here, there's such a vibration of fear, distrust, anger And just like this growling, it's just like so active.
Speaker 1:Everyone feels on edge here, not everyone, but in any space you feel like someone. Enough people are on edge that you just hope things go okay. And I felt that aggression in the way she was trying to talk to the universe, as if you could bend it to her will, and I think that's part of the disease of this dominant culture. It's the disease of this current project that's called the USA. It's a culture built on stolen land, built by stolen lives, and you can't outrun your past in these ways. Time will not erase this fact and this truth, and we have a lot to fix, to correct in this country to make sure everyone gets what they need.
Speaker 1:In contrast, i have good news. So I'm actually, when I'm up and stopped me, i'm with a guy and he's wonderful and I'm feeling so lucky and grateful And he so he is saw me and we live in a cabin on a fjord And it's a. It's not the biggest cabin in the world, but it's got everything we need, and one of the things that it has is fresh, well water. So when we're there, like when I was there over the winter, there was so much snow falling from the sky. It just stayed for for maybe six weeks about like a meter a yard high all around us. I loved it. There's just so much abundance there, raining throughout different times of the year as well. To me it feels like an infinite amount of water that we have access to. And when the guy that I'm with is about to boil potatoes we do eat a lot of potatoes He will put just enough water in that pot to cover the potatoes and not, and not, not even a little bit more.
Speaker 1:And I look at that and like the deep wisdom that's in that small action. It's just absolutely within him that you don't take more than you need. And I reflect upon being raised in the USA, where there's like a sense of like well, if you have the money, then you just take it and you just buy it, as if, like, we don't have any consideration in parts of the culture about how other people are being impacted, about this greed that's that's bred into us. So when it comes to. I bring this to add another level when we think about what the higher self is. When I say higher self, i mean that part of ourself that is truly aware that we are coexisting and co creating a dream with everyone around us.
Speaker 1:For me, when I'm manifesting, i always keep it in my heart. Maybe this be for the highest and best of all living beings. Everyone may not take more than I need And also I can't correct from all of the horrible things that have happened in the past in this country. Right, but may I be a part of it, may be a part of manifesting the next dream, because in some ways, this truly is all a dream that we're in And I just want my little life to be contributing towards turning the page and creating that next dream where everyone has has what they need.
Speaker 1:So, like, when I think about it, it's interesting to me to think well, i am currently living in someone else's dream. Like, for example, it's because there were people before me that dreamed of flight that I now am able to fly on a plane, and it's because of people before me that dreamt of exploiting others for their own personal gain that I'm now in a dream where not everyone has enough. So I can't control the dream that I'm in now. But the other side of that is you and I. We are the dreamers. We are the dreamers that will create the dream for those in the future to be living in. I don't have children, but I still feel a sense of deep connection with those that will be coming after us And I think, wow, what a privilege to be able to dream a dream of a future where everyone has what they need. Now that is really something that gets me in a place where I can feel like I get so excited about the idea of like what we dream now creates the dream of the future. It's like a place where I can feel my higher self put a hand out to my human self and my human self says I think I hear you.
Speaker 1:All right, little moment of acknowledgement here. My life is bizarre. I'm not saying leave your life and go out on the road and like travel around to the countries and lands you've never heard of before. We don't need. We don't need billions of me. Believe me, i think one might be enough. Being the best mother you can be is lighting that fire in your soul and bringing that dream of the future ahead of us, and there are times where I think my life is a complete disaster often not like one time, like it's a thought that I work with. Whatever thoughts you work with, too, i believe that you're exactly where you're supposed to be, and exactly where you are is where you can be a co-contributor to creating this future dream for us all. You're doing it right now.
Speaker 1:I do believe that each of us have our gifts that we bring with us in this lifetime, just like we have our karma. We have something unique that no one else can contribute other than us, and when we listen to that calling in our soul, we're standing in our wizardry and we're really helping manifest that future dream for everyone. For me, it's clear I'm never going to be an athlete Like what is the calling of your soul. Sometimes listening to that helps us understand the path that we're being pulled along, guided along, sailed along. I'm reminded of a quote by Audre Lorde, one of my favorite quotes from her, where she said and this is for me. So when I hear this quote, i heard this quote and my soul just lit up. I connect with it and I think, yeah, there's something there for me. What's the quote for you that has lit up your soul, or the movie like top gun, i don't know. What do you watch? Like going to a cupcake store. Maybe your neighborhood needs a cupcake store.
Speaker 1:What are you being called to do? You never know, and even something that you might think isn't what you thought was on your path. If you keep coming across it again and again, what is it for you? This is the quote that lights a fire on me. Audre Lorde says I want to live the rest of my life, however long or short, with as much sweetness as I can decently manage, loving all the people I love and doing as much as I can of the work I can, of the work I still have to do. I'm going to write fire until it comes out of my ears, my eyes, my nose holes, everywhere, until it's every breath I breathe. I'm going to go out like a fucking meteor. That's what I find myself doing. I have no idea why. I'm sharing all of my deepest secrets with you, but it's the fire that lights my soul And I think I don't need to understand, but I kind of trust. I'm starting to trust more and more. This is my contribution to the future.
Speaker 1:Dream Made me sharing my story open space for others. What is your soul being called to do? Well, let me tell you a story from one of the first groups that I was doing Some some years ago now this was actually even before I had ever been to Mongolia. There was a woman there and she was, i don't know, maybe mid-50s. She was in a relationship that was like kind of meh, i don't think she was too into him, but she was afraid of being alone. She was having money issues. She wanted to leave this relationship and where she was living and get to the coast, but there were just too many things holding her back and she couldn't get there. She just felt like her life wasn't going in the right direction.
Speaker 1:Now this woman had been in spiritual communities much longer than me and understood the game at that time much better than I did. She left the healing group and the next day she went out to ride her horse again, and this horse that she had been riding for years and was very familiar with she was a very comfortable rider. She'd grown up in the saddle. This horse bucked her off. She broke many ribs on her tumble down and she punctured her lung. So she the next day, or maybe two days later, messaged me from the hospital and she was basically laughing in this text message and she said I know you did this to me. I was horrified and she didn't mean that I had done it to her At least I hope she didn't. But what she meant was she knew that the healing work that we had done together in that group had brought her this obstacle. Now she had the mind about it that she was in a place that she was ready to surrender. I'm still struggling there with that one, but she was ready to surrender and see what was coming next.
Speaker 1:The relationship did end. I wasn't in huge contact with her. I didn't know her well, so I don't know how all this came together, but somehow some money came her way, i think. She sold all her belongings, her car died along the way And a year later she was living the life she wanted. She was living as an independent person, whereas before she had been too afraid to leave this man on the coast. I still follow her on Facebook and she stayed there even now, for so many years later.
Speaker 1:So what was she manifesting in that healing group? She was manifesting her vision on the vision board and what came to her was a punctured lung. We got to be ready for the way that we think we're going. When we're manifesting things It's not always clear how we're going to get there. I don't mean this as some fairy tale story. Her story, i know, continued from there. She had some significantly difficult experiences in her life that continued there, but she got bucked off the horse and she got in some ways. It was very symbolic of her getting just bucked out of the life, kind of shaking her up and the spirits moved her on so that she could move on in her life.
Speaker 1:I'm never saying that what we're manifesting it's never like the end of the fairy tale, it just keeps going. But there are ways to see the game with different eyes and recognize that sometimes the moments where we feel the most alone is actually when we're getting the most support from the higher energies around us And we just we don't always know. It's not an easy game to be reading what's happening in this realm where we, i think, really only see like it's not even the tip of the iceberg, we don't even see that much. So it makes me think about like a couple of years ago I just suddenly out of the blue, really was craving a chicken tinga taco, which is really not something that I crave Nachos, yes, quite frequent but chicken tinga taco was such a random thing for me to be craving So I looked up where I could get one and there was a place nearby and I got my chicken tinga taco And about eight hours later I got food poisoning. And so my jerk spirit guy like pops his self, you know pops his head out around the wall across the realms and is like gotcha, that's it. No freaking idea why that dude gave me food poisoning. He put the craving in me. I absolutely thought that was my own idea And then he put the food poisoning in me. Anyways, please does punch. And I never got an explanation for it. But as I'm telling this story now, i'm thinking about.
Speaker 1:I'm thinking about how I was living in Durram Sala, which is where his holiness the Dalai Lama lives. I was living there off and on when I was in India And most of the places that I was in India. I was the only person of my complexion there and I was extremely alone. I was with this dude that I was not super into I talk about him in a different podcast episode and I was extremely lonely. It was so isolated and lonely and Durram Sala was one of the only places that I was staying while I was in India, where there were other people who spoke English. And there were people around India that spoke English, but people around me in close enough contact that I could maybe hold a conversation with them.
Speaker 1:And I remember just working on my manifesting and thinking, oh, i just really want a friend, i just really want a friend, and I was so focused on it. I spent so much time trying to manifest in these ways that people told me it works. And I remember one day just sitting in meditation before I went to the coffee shop at the guest house. I was staying at Dutchin's guest house, i believe it was. We had a great corner place that we stayed, did have monkeys come in and steal my almonds one time, but other than that it was a lovely place to stay, and so I was meditating on the balcony overlooking the foothills of the Himalayas Absolutely gorgeous.
Speaker 1:But I was so lonely, i just wanted contact with someone other than this guy. And so I thought to myself today I will make a friend, i'll go to the guest house, to the tea house there Sit down, like within 10 minutes. These two people sit down at the table next to me. They start talking. I'm eavesdropping And I hear that they had just met a couple of days before. They literally used the words that I had used in the meditation And now I don't remember, but in my mind it was something like and now we shall be friends, how richer our lives are for a meeting.
Speaker 1:But I was trying to manifest the jerk spirit guy just rubbed in my face as if to say oh, i hear you, francis, we're just not bringing that to you. Can I tell you exactly why? I mean, i have my theories. There were lots of themes of isolation going through then And it would have broken that spell if I was actually able to hang out with another human being. But ultimately I think I just see again and again. I will lose my mind if I overanalyze every single thing, like why did I get this red light? They are bigger, this bigger cogs turning in dimensions we don't even see or know about and we're just not always going to know why. Sometimes things come to us and sometimes we're blocked. I spent a season in that zone where I was trying to interpret, like, every red light, every license plate number. No, i'm just kind of letting some of that micromanaging of Manifesting go. It's a much more peaceful life, going towards understanding. This is a really complicated game. My job is to orient my heart towards my highest self, acknowledging that there's some other things going on allowing for that to be there as well, and then I'm going to see what game comes to me. I'm going to work with what comes.
Speaker 1:One of the saddest things I see is how often some of us we're actually blocking ourselves Because, again, the strongest voice in the universe is that quiet voice within ourselves And we aren't blank slates. So a lot of us are carrying the stories of the grownups that were around us, that told us who we are when we were young, and so many of us are carrying insecurities from that. Now, if you believe you're not good enough, that you don't deserve it, that you don't deserve to be happy, especially if you have really strong manifesting energy, you can work effortlessly again and again to put your life together and it'll just fall apart at the last moment. And I've seen this happen with someone who I care about deeply and it's just so difficult to watch because it's never as easy as like, well, just put your mind in positive attitude. I think that's where these really contemplative practices for me, for me have come in to be absolutely vital to just sit with my heart and hear what's inside and clear it out. And that's hard to do, especially if you've had bad things happen in your life. It's really hard to just sit still and listen to what's going on inside and that can keep that karmic wheel turning.
Speaker 1:So I, again and again, i see people who are having difficulty manifesting for no fault of their own, but they are. They are, they're blocking themselves. I've seen this even to the point that some people manifest themselves to be sick A lot of times. People well. So at first I remember I was working with someone, you know someone in the last couple of years and she just had like chronic illness around her and she couldn't quite get everything together to get her life in order. And my jerk spirit guide said she's making herself sick. And the way I heard that was for attention.
Speaker 1:Now me, coming from my unresolved karma, i judged I'm so quick to judge people who are in that place and I had to really sit with myself and recognize that's her karma. That's in some ways a continuation of the story of the ancestors before her who may have not been able to take care of themselves. She might be, like, stuck in the karma of the ancestors and so that what comes that's what comes through her. That might be a method of communication. It's not my business.
Speaker 1:I come from a karmic wheel of hyper independence, you know. You think of like, oh my gosh, why have I lived in over 250 places, most of those alone, in places all over the world that women, single travelers don't generally go to? I mean, sure, it's been a handy tool to have in my toolkit for this bizarre life I have, but what this actually is is like I'm the product of a hyper independent culture and I learned early on that I needed to be able to do everything myself. I'm great at traveling alone, but watch me ask for help. Have I ever asked you for help? No, i haven't. I don't even care if you're like my closest, some of my closest people. Maybe I've asked you for help once or twice, but like I'm not so good at asking for help.
Speaker 1:So when I see these people that are manifesting being sick, i was judging them and I keep myself away from that now because everyone, we're all working with our own karma. There is no right or wrong way to manifest And in my experience some people are just better at manifesting not better like a skill at it, but it just seems like their soul is like a more manifesting soul. It's almost like I can give a reading when I meet people before they open their mouth. We got to stick to our lane, folks, and not judge others because we have absolutely no idea what's going on with them. But there is one, one of the few times that I think it's appropriate for us to judge others.
Speaker 1:So here we all are in this more or less impossible predicament. We're part of the vast interconnected consciousness of the universe, but we're trapped in these like human selves. We want to move towards that higher self, but we're blocked largely by ourselves, although sometimes just a reminder it is possible that you're possessed by something and you just want to clean it out. Possessed might be a strong word, but you know, a good energy cleaning can often bring a lot of clarity around this. But even after the energy cleaning, our untamed minds are generally generally the biggest reason why we have obstacles in our life, and sometimes what seems like an obstacle is in fact the gift from the universe, clearing out karma so we can be moving forward on our path. So to be human is to be like truly a really powerful wizard, without remembering who we are, and we have to be mindful about how we steer this energy. Otherwise, we might be killing branches on trees And we definitely, definitely, definitely end this game.
Speaker 1:The last thing we want to do is be judging anyone else, because it's not our business, except for this one time. Can you guess what it is? Do you know what I'm thinking? Should I sing a little song? Okay, time's up.
Speaker 1:The answer is when you are looking for either like a spiritual teacher or a sacred healer. Actually, it's probably also a good time to evaluate someone if you're looking at someone as a romantic partner as well, although in some ways, i think romantic partners become our spiritual teachers, whether we like it or not. So it's really all the same thing. Here's the reason why I say that, for whatever reason, sacred healers and spiritual teachers I do count myself among them. We are not enlightened beings, but we do somehow have like a, i don't know. It's like we're in like the fast lane on the freeway of like this energy moving through us And if we're a real sacred healer. We've learned how to channel it and use it. That's what we're doing in a lot of ways. So if a sacred healer or a spiritual teacher has an untamed mind or a not clear heart, they manifest that around them. One of the things I suggest you do if you're considering going to see a sacred healer, like a shaman or anyone in these kinds of arts related for adjacent fields or like if you're looking for like a I listened to a lot of Dharma teachers if you're looking for a new teacher is look at the people around them.
Speaker 1:So for some reason, i have a couple of stories coming out of Nepal and my time spent in the like the Buddhist monastic world was kind of orbiting around there for a while And I'm a bit familiar with the story of a really well known Buddhist teacher coming out of that arena and he does teach in the West And he is, for some reason, really influential. But he struggles with something within himself where he basically only brings sycophants around him. He just want to hear. He just wants to hear that he's right And what that brings out in his followers are this like idol worship around him, which is what he's looking for, which honestly, generally is just patching up some low self-esteem from childhood. But because he's so powerful, he's not a typical person. Some people were just not typical souls and we carry really high voltage. He is pulling out this sort of idol worship and his followers in a way that's like bringing on more karma rather than lessening their load.
Speaker 1:I remember there was also a teacher there and she has so many followers, she's so well respected. But when I, every time I look at her heart, i see just theory, theory, and it's completely different than the image that she presents to people. It would be heresy if I named her. I'd be kicked out of Kathmandu for life Unchanged symbolism. But she's angry and she's powerful enough that when she gets students, she transfers her anger onto them So that she can like it's just. It's just old-school psychology. She's just doing transfer and she's projecting it onto them. She can watch them get angry and then she can basically shame them for it and act like she's more enlightened. She's transferring the load and then these poor, dear devoted students are picking up her karma.
Speaker 1:I see it with healers like shamans as well, in a different way. A Lot of us healers, you know, myself included, don't don't like put me outside of this. Check me out too. You know how do you feel after you listen to a podcast of mine? Does it feel aligning for you? It's really important to check these things out because some of us are carrying some strange energies and a lot of the sacred healers that I know. They just fall into the same thing that psychologists do and psychiatrists do they think of themselves as the healer, so they need to be seen as healed, and some of these people in these communities They're powerful enough that they actually manifest illness in people in the community, so those people can come to them ill and the healer can heal them and they can be seen as the healer. There's a sometimes like even a dance and interplay I watch between the people who like to stay sick and the healers who want to be known as those who are healing. This is something that I play with all the time within myself, and if you are in like a similar kind of Reality as mine, where you find that you're working with other people, i really ask you to play within yourself Here and just check out and make sure you're not holding on to any piece of identity too strong Because, like I said, whether you're a sacred healer or not.
Speaker 1:You got to check us out. I actually encourage you to judge us. Judge might not quite be the right word. The problem is where it's sometimes just it's like we were. Someone told me the analogy that it's like we were given a car with a stronger engine. I think the analogy was Ferrari, but I feel like a dumbass using that analogy. I don't care about cars and I don't know anything about a Ferrari, but anyway, it's sort of like he was saying like we're still just humans, but suddenly we wake up in this car that has a lot more horsepower, so we have to be a lot more careful about how we drive. So if you have someone like that around you and you're open yourself up to them to receive healing, you got to be really careful. And if you are one of these people who finds yourself suddenly driving a Ferrari, i hate this analogy. Why am I using it? We have to be really careful.
Speaker 1:Which brings me to the story of getting my sister a free bottle of wine. So what happened was I was really really, really, really tired And I was in some part of the country that was not the Carolinas, and I think I had said I was gonna come visit her And I was getting all big in my britches feeling like Kind of special because I'm a sacred healer moving in that direction And I told her I was gonna come, but I didn't want to go And I thought, well, i can do this, i can manifest an obstacle, I'm powerful enough now. And my jerk spirit guide said I got you, girl, absolutely don't say a word, i'm on it. So the day before I'm supposed to go, my sister messages me and she said Straight up like this is when we were all starting to learn together what was going on I think she literally sent a text message that said you could have just told me you don't want to come.
Speaker 1:All three of my children are sick with something different. One had an ear infection, one had like cough, cough cold thing and one was vomiting. Within hours they all independently got sick with something And I was truly horrified, because this was one of those times where it was time to actually just use the outside voice, just send the text message and say I'm tired. I've been gossiping on ghosties for several days at night. I'm too tired to come. Ugh, ha ha ha. But I got too big in my britches and decided to let the universe do the work for me And my jerk spirit guide. He got me good, because there's nothing I hate more than making someone else suffer. So I said to the spirit guide please, please. I'm horrified, i'm embarrassed, i'm so ashamed. Not only did I do this really stupid, foolish thing, i was absolutely caught out in it. Give me, please, do something nice for my sister, just like a little gesture, to let her know that I am totally Take full responsibility and I apologize and I'll never do it again.
Speaker 1:A couple days later, my sister goes to the grocery store She's checking out. She spontaneously decides to get a little bottle of wine for herself and treat herself, maybe because she's been taking care of three sick children. And she goes to the checkout line and the person checking her out can't find the scanning code, or like it wasn't coming up at any price. And my sister made the joke well, i guess you should give it to me for free. And the burned out cashier said yeah, i don't see why not. And that's how my sister got a free bottle of wine from the universe, all by me making her children sick. Thank you for sharing the stories with me. If you'd like to catch me elsewhere on places like YouTube. I am at dropoutpsychologist. I will see you at the next podcast, if not in the dreamland, dream well, friends.