We Recommend: A Movie Podcast
We Recommend is a movie podcast where every week Jesse and Jason discuss a movie that they love and recommend you to watch and then come back and listen to their podcast!
We Recommend: A Movie Podcast
The Witch
Step into the shadows of 1630s New England, where religious devotion meets supernatural terror in Robert Eggers' meticulously crafted folk horror masterpiece, "The Witch."
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Music produced by Joey Prosser. X @mrjoeyprosser
Hello and welcome to the we Recommend Podcast, a movie podcast where every week, we recommend a movie for you to watch and then come back here and listen to us discuss. I'm Jesse, I'm Jason. What's that like? The taste of butter? Yes. A pretty dress yes. What's that like to live deliciously? Yes, because this week we recommend the Witch. Bah, hell, yeah, the bad king over here. So Black Phillip man, he fucks, right, he does. I mean, god dang dude, he's the raddest looking goat.
Speaker 2:You know I had seen this movie before, back when it came out. Um, you know what? I didn't remember what? The part where the witch turns the baby into body wash.
Speaker 1:Hell yeah, son I didn't remember that at all.
Speaker 2:Let's go, baby got dead I don't even remember them having a baby brother at all.
Speaker 1:Do you think the witch's favorite place to eat is Chili's? Because of the ribs?
Speaker 2:Baby back ribs.
Speaker 1:Witches is going in there like, just like crushing up the bones of the ribs and just rubbing it all over themselves.
Speaker 2:Hell yeah, all that barbecue sauce yeah.
Speaker 1:So, witches, huh, they rule barbecue sauce, yeah. So, uh, witches, huh, they rule right yeah.
Speaker 2:Like. What I really liked was the. Uh. Even my pessimistic mind was like these people must've been terrified all the time.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And like they've got, and then you're like, oh shit, it's real.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know Right, it's just like one of those things. It's like oh shit, it's real. Yeah, I know right, it's like one of those things. It's like wow, what if the witch trials were real? That's like what they don't have. Warlocks too. There's always just women. Yeah, I mean, you can, I guess that's how you know it's fake. It's like oh, there was only women constantly being accused of it.
Speaker 2:I think that's what happened to Jacob. Was it Jacob the brother? Oh, in the Bible? No, no, no In the movie, oh, sorry, no, it's a. I think that's what happened to him when he came back naked and totally worn out from it's Caleb.
Speaker 1:Caleb yeah, he's just like. That was just him coming back from sleep. He's back. I touched a breast. Oh God, I had my first kiss. It was great. Except her one hand Fun fact how they filmed that it was a separate person's hand, so they just had like an old lady, just pop her hand up in there.
Speaker 2:That was sweet Once.
Speaker 1:I like read, cause I read some facts before I watched the movie, since I've seen the movie a couple times and then whenever I saw that scene I was like that is clearly someone else's hand and clearly someone off screen just putting their hand up in there. It's really fun, though I absolutely love that we have a realistic fucking witch movie right, like all the other ones are too fantastical, right.
Speaker 2:I mean, you know Iry potter and all that, but like just getting down to the nitty grittiness of, like just a wish, just out in the woods grinding up babies turning into rabbits or whatever it's like there's something so metal you know about it.
Speaker 1:It's like just finding a stick outside, rubbing it with baby blood that's what she rides on right yeah, um, which uh interesting fact.
Speaker 1:so, like the rendered, rendered fat of an unbaptized, usually male, baby is an ingredient in which in which is flying ointment, along with the poisonous and hallucinogenic herbs such as belladonna, hemlock, nightshade and wolfsbane. Supposedly, a witch would rub this flying ointment on herself and her broom in order to fly. Baby Sam was taken in order to make this ointment. Meh-tul Dude, it's rad. Unless it was real. It's like holy shit, this is insane Bruinful fuel. Yeah, so this is a very stressful movie. Right, I turned it on last night it's a great way to ruin a morning or a night.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, we're. Ashley was going to sleep and I was sitting there watching it and she goes. Can you please turn that off, even like, because even when it's turned down, low is scary. Yeah, it's stressful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like the music, just the look of it. It looks so raw and kind of real, except it's hello blue, which?
Speaker 2:I don't know, hello blue, what does that mean?
Speaker 1:Well, just cause it's kind of grayish blue like the look of the film. Oh, the color correction. It's kind of like looks almost void of life, which is very appropriate for how?
Speaker 2:what do you think about the forest and how they like make it look scary? What about what they did in this movie made the forest look scary?
Speaker 1:I think low angles, just wide shots of it. It looks so intimidating, like you don't know what's beyond it?
Speaker 2:I feel like the confinement of all the the trees like so close together and like and the brambles and stuff is just, you can barely move through and you can't see shit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like every time you went in it, he always have like a shit ton of like sticks in front of the camera so it's like what? Like someone, like chopped down a path or something you know you'd think the witch would have her own little path.
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe it's secret. She just flies around, no like but but or something you know? You'd think the witch would have her own little path. Yeah, maybe it's secret. She just flies around, no like but. But in contrast, you know, whenever they were in like the more open spaces in the forest, it was like there's such a big difference yeah, me too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like that was what the witch just got black philip out there just ramming into sticks and stuff to clear out a path. Yeah it's. And also just with the like tree line and then like the surrounding house, like in the open space, like you just feel the isolation in the film, which is terrifying, and then just like the threat of ideology or whatever, like being more important than your actual family. It's crazy. It's like man, we used to just like how do we make it Really not care about what's here, and always kind of constantly like but there's other stuff that we we don't know anything about really, but like it's more important than you so we'll kill you just to make something else happy.
Speaker 2:It's like what Black Phillip would do anything to make him happy. I would do anything to make.
Speaker 1:Black Phillip happy. So the Vivitch Kind of weird that they used two V's right.
Speaker 2:I did not realize that, yeah.
Speaker 1:So like in all the marketing and like just the way it's written, it's Vivi instead of the witch, and that's because the spelling of the title of the bitch is how the word was written in the story's period, because the letter W was not yet in common use at the time. So that's why they used it like that, because the actual.
Speaker 1:W wasn't really used. They're just like we don't. We really want the sound, but we don't know how I was gonna say. I thought I was about to say another w word. So like what if we just put two of these together?
Speaker 1:it's like one day someone was like hey, what if we connected them to be like you've burn him um? So this is a film directed by um roger eggers. So he loves, he never wants to do like a modern story. He loves like the authenticity of like period pieces. Yeah, so it's like all his movies the lighthouse, the, the witch I just want to say vividitch, so bad. The Northmen, oh yeah, and Nosferatu, they're all. So they look like you're transported to another time, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's so good when everything is hard and life sucks, I know.
Speaker 1:And, but he does so good. It's like imagine the Northmen, but directed by Mel Gibson, because you know he did Braveheart, and it's like how obviously unrealistic Braveheart probably is right Versus, like the Northman. It's like, yeah, these boats seem fucking real. It was badass. This is a real place, and that's something I love about Robert Eggers. It's like, oh, it's pumping in my veins. Anya Taylor-Joy this is her first movie Is that, thomasin.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she immediately became a star after this, because then she got split and Queen's Gambit well, that was like five years later. Let's see, you know, Furiosa she got all that.
Speaker 1:So you know, like the hare, the rabbit appears frequently in the film. In colonial New England, hares were considered magical creatures in their own right. They were often associated with witches, either as a milk hare which stole or spoiled milk from the farm animals, or the witch themselves, who were thought able to turn into a hare in order to spy and influence on people, thought able to turn into a hair in order to spy and influence on people. So that's where he got the idea for, uh, you know you, you see the hair in the barn with the sheep and then she goes to try to milk it and um, which it's just like dude he knows so much about this and it's amazing.
Speaker 1:so the director, robert eggers, designed the film to be interpreted in two ways literally, as if the family were besieged by real witches and satanic forces, or figuratively, as if the family was succumbed to a shared psychosis due to their strained circumstances and beliefs. There are small hints throughout the film that could serve as reasonable causes behind the events, reasonable causes behind the events beyond the obvious supernatural, such as contaminated food causing hallucinations, press, sexual desires and extreme isolation. The director stated it is up to the viewer to decide which interpretation is correct.
Speaker 1:I decide that it's all real and the witches are real.
Speaker 2:Yes, that is true, because it kind of both exist at the same time.
Speaker 1:Yeah and well, because back then they had like an actual uh, like rot that would get on food, not corn. I was reading about it. That causes hallucinations.
Speaker 1:It's like on rice and, yes, rye bread like yeah uh, man, what this shit is called, I can't remember ah shit, I actually do know it supposed to give you like really bad hallucinations, hallucinations don't give me mushrooms, let's take some of that no mushrooms make you feel wonderful oh, let's see, am I gonna be able to find it. Is it in this one? Okay, so William is shown holding a rotten cob of corn which was mistaken, which has been mistaken for ergot a fungus that produces hallucinogens, ergot poisoning.
Speaker 2:Ergot.
Speaker 1:Damn, I got some ergot on me. Yeah, I guess for me in the film. If we never saw the witches by themselves not with the characters then I could see it being like hallucinations. But the fact that the film cuts away to like a witch in her area, just like grinding some stone or whatever, to me that makes it seem like it's real. I guess it could just be a dream state, but there's never like cutting to them, waking up or anything.
Speaker 2:You never see them practicing their musical routine. Just screaming in the woods. Well, I was thinking more along the lines of Hocus Pocus style. Oh, yeah. They kind of did have that little bit at the end. No shitty musical numbers in this one.
Speaker 1:Thank God you take that back.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, I just don't care about hocus pocus films the one, the scene where they're in the gym that the parents dance is incredible. You have to admit it, dad. I've seen that movie so many times and it's just like immediately it's leaving my brain after I watch it, and the second one was just, you know, couldn't even enjoy it.
Speaker 2:Like sometimes, when they were, when the hocus pocus which is would walk together and like arm and arm, they they'd say things like clickety, clickety, clickety, and like that's what the little kid was saying. Oh yeah, so how real is it now?
Speaker 1:That's true. You know what Hocus Pocus realistic? No, I just was, I just you know. That was just never one of the films that, like I, was super into as a kid, and everybody hates me for it, but that's fine. So the Satanic Temple has endorsed this movie and hosted several screenings of the film. Their spokesperson, jackson Blackmore hell yeah, what a satanic name there addressed the film as an impressive presentation of satanic insight that will inform contemporary discussion of religious experiences this isn't Baphomet the goat man, yeah, and like what, and like Freud or something they like put up a
Speaker 1:statue of it. Yeah, that's metal. So during the witch hunts of colonial America it was widely believed that a witch could not say the entire Lord's Prayer. That is why the family is so upset when Mercy and Jonas are unable to finish the prayer, which I feel like Mercy and Jonas are obviously a reference to the little girls in the actual witch trials that kind of started it all, because they're just like playing and lying and stuff. Yeah, that brought. Yeah, having fits A bit too far did it.
Speaker 1:I'm so glad we don't live back then.
Speaker 2:They only would have had cable.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:This could have all been averted.
Speaker 1:So Black Phillip, let's talk about him a little bit. So director Robert Eggers said in an interview that the best behaved animal actor in the film was the hair.
Speaker 2:They just kind of sit there and just go with their nose and it's hilarious, and.
Speaker 1:But when they start moving it's scary, especially inside of a house, and I was. Well, they kind of just hop a little, dude, they they'll just be sitting there, and all of a sudden you just see them like wiggling their nose a lot, and the next thing you know it's like boom, boom, boom, boom it's like what is happening.
Speaker 1:There's no control. It's so fast and it hurts when it kicks, and apparently that the raven and the horse were also easy to work with, but the goat, black Phillip, was reportedly difficult to train. One of the scenes when Philip lunges at and struggles with the father was not written to the script. It just happened oh when he was protecting Mercy and Jonas. Yeah, I think whenever like he's like trying to, um, yeah, he grabbed him by the horns and it was like fighting back.
Speaker 2:It was like it was.
Speaker 1:he was just supposed to lead it into the thing, but it started like pushing him back. And he's our boy. Uh, mad respect. Hope he's still alive. He just like it's such like an ugly looking goat, but it's also rad looking terrifying, big old mouth, just like all black man we huge antlers.
Speaker 1:so I grew up next to a ton of goats growing up and they, you know, they always had the, the square wire, I guess chicken wire, you know where it's like fence but like, yeah, it's got the triangles. Whoever decided that's how we're going to cage goats? Like you're insane every day.
Speaker 2:They just jump out of it.
Speaker 1:No, they just constantly put their heads in through the squares, and then they get stuck every damn day.
Speaker 1:Like you come home from school it's like probably been there for like eight hours. It's like guys don't use that fence. It was just I was like put some mesh or something, um, but anyways, last little fact here the characters frequently accuse each other of signing the book, and the book is offered to catherine, the mother, and thomason and your taylor joy to sign by black philip. In puritan theology, a person recorded a covenant. Fuck, yeah, yeah. Writing is bad. Did a person actually become a witch and gain demonic powers, such as appearing in spectral form to do harm to others Fuck, yeah, yeah, writing is bad.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man you should stop teaching me. No one should have ever written it.
Speaker 2:That's why I need to do only laptops in schools from now on.
Speaker 1:We only do emojis. We don't even use words anymore. All right, bro, you ready to just hip hop into it? Sure, okay, all right, bro, you ready to just?
Speaker 2:hip hop into it.
Speaker 1:Sure, okay, all right. The Vivitch 2015. Tricked by Robert Diggers. So the film starts with William, the patriarch of a Puritan family, on trial in 19, on 1630s, not 1930s Jesus in New England. He dismisses those around him as false Christians and the others claim that he speaks ill of the word of God.
Speaker 2:Do you get the vibe that they're the first like Jehovah's Witnesses? As they're walking away, they're singing about Jehovah. Yeah, they've never been like.
Speaker 1:It's like such a thing Back in the day, it's like I'm the most Christian. No, we are.
Speaker 2:It's like such a thing Like back in the day.
Speaker 1:It's like I'm the most Christian. No, we are. It's like guys, just chill, all right. You know, like that book, y'all keep reading. Like, read it and be chill, all right, you're not supposed to be worrying so much as long as you know that you're doing the right thing Just because you live in a town and your neighbor does something you don't like.
Speaker 2:Get the fuck over it. Yeah, I feel like they're kicking him out because he read it differently. Yeah, because they said he's been preaching like different stuff yeah, it's like what's so different?
Speaker 1:I don't know. He's eating fucking rotten corn every day, and just like these words look different to me I don't know.
Speaker 2:It's just like he's been poisoned by ergot. Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's like Puritan families, man, it's like back in the day. They're so fucking judgmental. Hey, there's like literally chapters about not being judgmental in that book. So just chill out, hey people in our time, just chill out. Okay, you don't get to decide everything. You don't get to decide everything. So essentially, they just have a Christian off. It's like I'm more Christian, you're more Christian. Then they start rapping about it. I don't know, hell yeah a rap battle, he loses.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's what he gets kicked out.
Speaker 1:so the Williams family includes his wife Catherine, eldest daughter Thomason, son Caleb, twins Mercy and Jonas and a baby Samuel, mercy and Jonas. And a baby Samuel, mercy and Jonas. Annoyance, fuck yes.
Speaker 2:What if they were? Instead of walking out with the dad, they were just like we'll just stay, you can go. You can go live out there in the middle of nowhere.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just too bad. You know We'll be here. Women and children had no say back in the day. I guess this is all whatever this guy says, who definitely doesn't seem crazy, no, and definitely seems like he'll make good decisions. He's got a lot of good ideas, oh, but he's got the hell of a voice, though, and that hair. God, that voice and hair. Like every time he talks, I'm like, I'm scared that'll pitch a tent, yeah, yeah boy.
Speaker 1:So, having been banished from their New England plantation, they start a small farm in the wilderness. I love when they get there. Oh, first let's talk about when they're leaving in the little cart. It's all packed up, damn. People used to be able to pack a cart, right. I feel like anytime you see a movie and there's like a cart like Western or anything, it's like I feel like anytime you see a movie and there's like a cart like western or anything, it's like golly, we used to be able to know how to pack things on things. It's like now I got my car and I'm like I can only fit like three trash bags in here. It's like old-timey puritan families would be like we got this, give us 50 bags, we'll make it work. Oh yeah, man, um, but yeah, just like the shot of them going, just like driving away in the car, just looked amazing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it looks so uncomfortable sitting on the back of that one.
Speaker 1:I think that's the only shot they actually filmed in Massachusetts. Everything else was in Canada Fun little fact that doesn't mean anything. So Thomasin confesses her sin and asks God to show her the light. I guess God was like here's some witches. This is what I want for you, I guess yeah, it's gonna be shitty out here guys yeah, get ready.
Speaker 1:Uh, it's about to be not a lot of fun for her, until she becomes a witch and then she gets to fly. She seems pretty fun. So mercy and jonas frequently play with a large black goat and that they named black phil. They're constantly singing to it. Everybody's telling them to shut up.
Speaker 2:I think the goat told them its name. Yeah, that's what I would assume. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Also, these kids are super annoying and it's kind of crazy that, since this is such an old timey like old, like olden times or whatever- man they really didn't see. The father hit one of them.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:I'm like, damn you make a movie in the 1960s, there's going to be people getting hit. I was like come on, this is like old Christian era. They're like beating the shit out of everybody.
Speaker 2:He just really loved his kids.
Speaker 1:He really did, I mean, if he didn't have so much pride, like he's probably A good father. Yeah, the mother, on the other hand, she seems stressful.
Speaker 2:They're all stressed Constantly. Yeah, and the dad I love when he comes home and everybody's fighting and he's just like Jesus Christ.
Speaker 1:It's like, hey guys, we should be focusing.
Speaker 2:On food Life's as hard enough as it is kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like we should be focusing on food Life's as hard enough as it is kids, it's like stop playing peekaboo, let's go find some food.
Speaker 2:It does kind of give me hope for my kids, though. Yeah, at least one of them might be a witch. That's true as long as they keep fighting.
Speaker 1:So one afternoon Thomason is outside playing peekaboo with Sam. She covers her face and scares him and it's still there, she's a little intense with the peekaboo. Yeah, she's like right up in his face. She's like boo the kid's like I'm done. And then she does it again and boo Sam is gone. I love it, like the baby's, like oh, thank God I'm safe from this, you see what she was doing.
Speaker 2:She's like scaring the hell out of me.
Speaker 1:I'm just so glad you took me. Oh, you're taking me to the woods. I bet you're not gonna grind me up. So sam is gone. We cut to somewhere in the darkest part of the wood where a wrinkled hand choked sam's body moments before the creatures lower a knife into his chest he's about to gut it yeah man.
Speaker 1:And then we see a haggard old woman pounding what appears to be sam's remains before consuming them, and wiping the remains on her body and a stick. The woman then slowly walks out into the woods and then hops on her stick and slowly starts to float up a little bit.
Speaker 2:We have the urge, the herbal that the thing.
Speaker 1:So let's say you knew that if you were still a baby ride it up rub it on your body, rub it all over the stick, because you knew you could fly. You knew you could fly. Yeah, would you do it? I think so. Okay, let me get myself and I'm going to call the cops. It's just be like well.
Speaker 1:It's just be like well, let me just try it once, not all the time and then you do it once and it's like holy shit, this is awesome, I am going to the hospital. The new baby section of the hospital the new baby section of the hospital.
Speaker 2:Whatever, I don't know words, guys you gotta do it like Indiana Jones did with that little bag of dust. Yeah, so they're gonna make a little baby out of straw and shit switching real fast.
Speaker 1:I thought you were talking about. It's like it belongs in a museum. It belongs, grind it up, rub it all over a stick. Good joke, jesse. Everybody's laughing at home.
Speaker 2:Not funny at all, I love it this is great.
Speaker 1:So Catherine becomes distraught following Sam's disappearance, crying all the damn time. The family believes that a wolf took the baby. Yeah, that's reasonable, that's a very fast and sneaky wolf Hell yeah, I mean, I guess a witch was pretty fast and sneaky too. Literally only had seconds, unless, like it, edited out like the 10 minutes she just covered her face.
Speaker 2:Dope this is vicious. Dope this is vicious.
Speaker 1:Just got John Ralphio in the background. The this is dope. Just got John Ralphio in the background. The worst. So Caleb goes out to hunt with his father because their crops are rotten, but first he starts to notice his Thomason's breasts Wowie wowie. Out in the woods. Woods, caleb becomes fearful that Sam Sam was taken because he lived in sin. Make him, caleb, worry that he is also leading a sinful life that will lead to his doom.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's rough on a kid nothing like early ages Christian guilt, baby. You know, like damn that baby fucking just thinking about porn and everything you could just sit in its eyes. So much thought crime in that little box. It's like damn it, baby. When we leave you alone we know you're JO Going out smoking cigarettes, driving motorcycles. It's a bad seed, Like damn it.
Speaker 2:That's the coolest baby I've ever met.
Speaker 1:Hell yeah, this is a bad seed like, damn it, that's the coolest baby I've ever met. That's too cool for this world. Man, it's just like old, old-timey christians. They're just like oh so it's filled with guilt all the time. Just fear, chill out, find out what weed is and do it. God. It's like just take a load off. I mean it's, I get it. It's a hard time to live. This was their only outlet of being like there's something better than the shit we were given right, and it's only until you don't get it, till you die.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's like yippee. Oh, sweet embrace of death.
Speaker 1:I feel like if I was a 13 year old like caleb and this, it's like. So, if I get baptized and I live like 13 good years of my life where I love God, let's just call it at 13. Let's give me some sort of ergot or whatever it's like. Please, let me get the flu. Please get me out of here.
Speaker 2:I'd love to go back in time and be an ergot salesman. Yeah, just make everybody in town listening.
Speaker 1:So William comforts his son by telling him God makes the decisions on whether Sam had gone to heaven or hell. And they proceed to hunt. God's like, just like the baby comes up to heaven. It's like, fuck, this baby Boots it.
Speaker 2:I hate this dang thing.
Speaker 1:It's ugly as hell. He's so loud just crying all the damn time. We got enough babies up in here. I should have made babies a little bit sturdier. You know, it's all I get out here, all right if you like.
Speaker 2:When you went to heaven, you just stayed a baby like helpless. You couldn't do anything. I like to think it's like it's just like boss baby stuff. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Just like they're just walk and talk like a baby.
Speaker 2:I feel like, yeah, that's the best thing. They all sound like Alec Baldwin.
Speaker 1:So Thomason goes out to get eggs and notice one of the eggs has a chick that is dead in it. Damn Babies just catching strays here, like ain't no babies living out in the Vivich area. So William aims his rifle at a rabbit, but the recoil from the shot gets him in the eye and the rabbit runs away.
Speaker 2:Yeah, pretty cool gun. Has he ever used a gun? I don't know. This is a musket.
Speaker 1:right, they got a damn string attached to it. I guess that you light and the fuse eventually is what hits it. I've never used one. Light and the fuse eventually is what hits it. I've never used one.
Speaker 2:You're supposed to pack the bullet right with the wad into the top. I think he. I don't know. This is a different gun. I don't know what type of gun it was, I don't know.
Speaker 1:It felt cool and useless.
Speaker 1:While hunting, he sucked at using it, it seemed like it's a loud gun to use to hunt things. Yeah, you get one shot, then you have like a fuse going. It's like wait for it. This is why you can't hunt deer, I guess. But yeah, they're cursed, can't even shoot a gun. So we cut to Mercy and Jonas singing to Black Phillip. Then Black Phillip starts squaring up and Thomason takes blame for not watching the kids, even though she tried to get them to stop. She's this classic, like big sister stuff. It's like dude, they're annoying me. I tried to tell them to stop. They paid me no mind. So I went out and played peek-a-boo with a kid and I got caught.
Speaker 2:Oh wait, no, this is she went to get water this to go around.
Speaker 1:That's right.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, she was shoveling the poop and then her parents and her mom's like clean off your dad's nasty ass clothes.
Speaker 1:It's like how about you do something, mother? So what you lost?
Speaker 2:a kid. And can dad not take off his own shirt, Like, what are we doing here? No, that's just a that's just a classic. You got to worship the father figure you got to disrobe your dad. Yeah, sweet.
Speaker 1:Yeah, seen that in real life. Yeah, in my family. So Nice, not like my family but, like our family.
Speaker 2:Yes, whatever, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so the two return home. To an angry Catherine Thomason takes the blame for her father, for the two of them going to hunt, just catching strays everywhere.
Speaker 2:Why for a father, for the two of them going out, going to hunt just?
Speaker 1:catching strays everywhere. Why did he sell?
Speaker 2:the silver cup again. Oh uh, because what did they get in return for it? The?
Speaker 1:traps. That's right, I forgot they do talk about like while hunting Caleb's like where'd you get these traps? Like I sold, I sold your mother a silver cup. I got like a whole trap for it. Um no, I gave him my dog's making noises while I sleep and it's cute. So Thomas and Caleb are by the river gathering water. Caleb can't stop staring at her boobies. She's like hey, caleb, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1:She's got her head stuck in a bucket help brother, I can't get out of this bucket. He's like I don't know what this means, but I feel like in the future people are gonna love it. He seems super distressed, though, and then she comforts him by like Fuck it. He's like I don't know what this means, but I feel like in the future people are going to love it. He seems super distressed, though, and then she comforts him by like holding him in his arms and it's just like Caleb's. Like I'm so confused.
Speaker 2:Wish we lived in a town and weren't Wish there were other people here.
Speaker 1:Psycho Mercy comes along and says that a witch took Sam Thomason. Plays along to terrify. Mercy Thomason says she is a witch and that she will get mercy if she continues to bother her. Classic big sister stuff.
Speaker 2:It's hella funny, yeah, scaring the absolute shit out of her.
Speaker 1:The witch trials haven't happened yet, so you know.
Speaker 2:She don't know yet she don't know that this is a really bad thing to do.
Speaker 1:So Catherine blames Thomason for losing her father's silver wine cup, even though it was William who sold it for traps, causing more hate towards Thomason. This mother does not like her daughter. It's classic mother-daughter tension, but way worse, because everything else around you completely sucks as well. It's like eventually you got to blame it on somebody. The mother definitely probably was hitting Thomas and growing up With it when William was probably out and about doing stuff likely, yeah.
Speaker 1:So that night Catherine is breaking down. She thinks they will starve. So she wants Thomas into work for another family, for food, since there's there's as bad. William agrees to take her to a family. He doesn't want to go back to the plantation because he doesn't like the church pride although if I was thomas I'd be like hell yeah, get me out of here yeah, right, it's like. I know the reaction of them was like oh, no, it's like. Nah, I'm good. Yeah, I don't mind. Actually, this is this. Sounds pretty nice.
Speaker 2:I heard they have a PlayStation.
Speaker 1:I heard there's no Black Philips around. Hey, I would love to go somewhere where I wasn't constantly reminded that I lost my brother. Yeah Right, also, my mom hates me. But yeah, he has like a lot of pride, which you know is a sin, one of the seven deadly ones, like. But here's the thing. He's just like we have to come out here and like all this hardship is a test from God. But it's like then, like could possibly think that maybe your test is supposed to be suffering in the woods, or like is your test? Is the test You're supposed to go back to the plantation and swallow your pride?
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:So it's like, but there's like the ambiguousness of like the bible, towards like oh well, this is hard, so I have to fight this, and it's like well, maybe this is actually a sign that you should be going back, right, but because it's like well, it doesn't directly tell me, so I have no idea. It's like be more specific, god jeez write it out for him.
Speaker 2:I'm so snifflyly, I'm sorry, it's okay, I'll cut it out. No, yeah, I think he should have just gone back. I mean, but you can't like just believe differently if you don't? I mean, I get that, but you're going to die.
Speaker 1:Well, it's just like your kids are going to die. You're going to die. Yeah, Well, it's just like your kids are going to die it's. His issue is like oh, is the church being a little too liberal? With like the Bible maybe or something and he's like no, we're supposed to be miserable forever?
Speaker 2:Is it like that type of situation? Oh, my Teresa thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So with a lack of growth on their crops beginning to turn problematic, thomason and Caleb venture into the woods so that Thomason won't have to serve another family. Like why this family sucks, I'd rather hang out with a different one. Yeah, yeah, right, yeah, totally. So the two are separated from each other when the horse gets upset at a rabbit.
Speaker 2:Rabbits are scary as hell. Fuck this rabbit.
Speaker 1:He knows it's like, like it's not rabbit season. We have to get out of here. It's also the same rabbit from earlier, so it's a devil rabbit, metal ass rabbits just sat there.
Speaker 2:A lot of guys shot at him and moved an inch so I had this.
Speaker 1:Like you know, it was almost like a ring pop, but at the other end it was just like a rabbit, so you're just eating it's body.
Speaker 2:No, it was almost like a ring pop, but at the other end it was just like a rabbit. So you're just eating its body.
Speaker 1:No, it was like a rabbit, you know, like mouth. So like when you put it on, it looks like you have a rabbit mouth. Oh, Something I used to love even after I finished like the ring pop part of it.
Speaker 1:I would just have it around with me Like a binky. Yeah Well, it was because it's just like. I knew how absurd it looked, so I just like carried around with me and then just like randomly bring it out and just like because it looked insane when I did it and people were like stop, it's so creepy, it just made. It was just man, I wish I still had it so I could show you it. It was just like so weird and creepy, it was funny.
Speaker 2:It reminds me of that Chewbacca mask that people would wear and then they would start laughing, yeah, and then they couldn't stop laughing because every time they laughed it would go.
Speaker 1:I know exactly what you're talking about. So, caleb, he disappeared and comes across a small cottage. From the doorway emerges a beautiful woman like little red, bella Lestrange. Yeah, man, she's got like little red riding hood and she kind of looks like Bella Lestrange from Harry Potter. She's got that fresh baby, look, yeah, and apparently this actress like this was her first kiss on deep on ever 13 year old boy Amazing. You know, sometimes you just make you just. You should have just been like any adults was here, want to kiss real quick.
Speaker 2:Just so that my first one is with a child.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so she lures Caleb towards him and kisses him, before grabbing his head with a haggard hand Cool.
Speaker 2:So is this like an illusion that she had going on?
Speaker 1:No, I think I assumed that was before. I read anything about the rubbing the baby all over, I thought that was just like a way to make her also like young. But I think they're so that's what I think it is.
Speaker 2:Maybe it's just like the source of her magic yeah like she's able to do yeah, or people think she looks like that he's hallucinating.
Speaker 1:Yeah, could be, I don't know, seem like a cozy little house though, yeah, like a little hobbit house man, I want to live in the dirt Right.
Speaker 1:Now you'll die in the dirt, that's right. So Catherine starts laying into Thomason Classic. William admits to stealing the cup, catherine slaps him and blames him for the loss of their children Later Accurate yeah, pretty much, just mainly because bringing him out here and stuff. Later thompson finds caleb outside in the rain, naked and scared. Uh, they take him in for and pray over him and for some reason drain some of his blood into a bowl yeah, they bleed you to get the bad blood out oh, that's right damn I hate when I got that blood.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but they punctured like his temple oh, that's wild.
Speaker 1:That's what taylor swift was singing about the whole time. Oh really, now I get it.
Speaker 2:Bad blood, she's a witch. She's going to get all this bad blood out of me Hell yeah, yeah, it just seemed like a weird place to prick him. I guess it bleeds because like the face bleeds like crazy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, now they're just like let's dab on the temples Pretty wild, so the family becomes worried that something evil is overtaking him. Cut to a close up of our boy, black Phillip, just like.
Speaker 2:Rubbing his hooves together. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Mercy and Jonas continue to accuse Thomason of being a witch. Cue bloody goat milk, hell yeah. Well, that's kind of natural right.
Speaker 2:I think that sometimes it does have blood in it.
Speaker 1:I don't know it's cursed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's why they pasteurize it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but when any? It seems like if anything negative happens, you just assume it's the devil back in the day.
Speaker 2:It totally is. Yeah, no, don't get me wrong.
Speaker 1:It's like there was never, just like there was no science yet for most of these people.
Speaker 2:There's only the devil.
Speaker 1:There's only either God or the devil. Yeah, and Rock on. Devil got blamed for all the bad stuff, not just like. Maybe this is God telling you to go back to the plantation William. Maybe this is your sign to go back not stay here and keep fighting this shit.
Speaker 2:You've got a demon goat. For God's sakes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like let your goats go.
Speaker 2:Or eat them, I don't know. Sounds like you're starving.
Speaker 1:I wish there was like a sequel. And it's like Thomasin, like it's like all right, we're going to invade the like Pur Thomas in. Like it's like alright, we're gonna invade the like Puritan like little plantation area that they were at the beginning. Yeah, it's like, but I'm bringing Black Phillip and then it just becomes an entire town of witches.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. So Catherine and William talk. Catherine thinks it's witchcraft. She tells William she wishes she was back in England. Then she says she is struggling with her faith. William will take Caleb to the plantation to see what's wrong with him, along with Catherine, and they're going to leave the three kids. So you think there's witchcraft in his ideas? We'll leave the kids here. This seems like a smart plan for me. I'm really good at making decisions here.
Speaker 2:So do you think he was? Because they were fighting between each other, telling each other, telling them that the other was the witch? Do you think he's like whoever makes it till sunrise, like you get to live? I don't know.
Speaker 1:It's like whoever isn't dead in sunrise. You're the witch and I'm gonna kill you. That was his plan, genius this is the worst decision maker in the in the planet. Here's what you do. You sit everybody in a room. You sit in a circle, you have your gun. You just sit and wait. Oh, you play. Spin the gun, yeah, no, you just sit and wait till the morning. Be like I'm going to be tired tomorrow before we go to the plantation, but I'll sleep on the cart.
Speaker 2:Well, I guess I got to walk because a horse ran away. But it's like this is what you got to do.
Speaker 1:And then you all just got to walk to the plantation together. And that's when you tell them uh, I'm definitely not a witch, but somebody here is. So you guys take care of this. Uh, fix my son. So after a while, caleb begins to ride and speak some sort of prayer, while also spitting up an apple, yeah, yeah, while mercy and Jonas also writhe on the ground as if they were possessed.
Speaker 2:They couldn't say the Lord's Prayer, they couldn't finish it. Yeah, that was supposed to be a witch thing, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And it's just like they're such shitty little brats your brother's dying here, yeah and they're like we're gonna pretend to also be possessed. But you know, they're like children, so maybe they're thinking like their bad feelings at the moment were. Maybe they were actually having like kind of a sort of like seizure because there's too much stimulation or something like a shared psychosis yeah I mean you wouldn't know. I mean it's probably just some like brain thing that they're like. Oh, we don't know how to process this feelings and emotions our parents are kind of crazy.
Speaker 1:We think one of our sister, our sister, is a witch, so there's like they start having seizures maybe I don't know eating mushrooms out of the garden yeah, yeah, um. So kayla speaks as though he accepts that this is his. Uh, he's about to meet god and he starts to moan passionately before dying with a smile on face. Cast the light of counter.
Speaker 2:He's like kiss me God.
Speaker 1:Spread over me the lap of thy love. Watch me in the ever flowing fountains of thy blood. Holy thine, I am my sweet Lord Jesus, my Lord, my love, kiss me with thy kisses of thy mouth. How lovely art thou. Thy embrace my, my lord, my love, my soul's ovation, take me to thy lap. Yeah, that was badass. God's like dude, god's like bro.
Speaker 2:That sounds gay yeah, I'll kill you, but jeez man tone it down a notch.
Speaker 1:God's like totally a frat boy up there he just kills him to shut him up. He's like I'm trying to sleep up here.
Speaker 2:I already tried to chug you with a fucking apple. What else do you want me to do?
Speaker 1:What they didn't know at this moment was that actually this was Bruce Almighty in charge at this moment. God sent him back in time Bruce. Almighty in charge at this moment. God sent him back in time. It was actually the prequel to Bruce Almighty Nice, or a sequel, where he sent Bruce Almighty back in time. I'd watch it, man. Nothing's laying in my name. I feel like I start my joke and then by the end of it I've lost all confidence. Stop flicking me.
Speaker 2:I told a joke to my kids the other day about donuts being holy and they thought it was the funniest fucking thing they've ever heard in their lives. Yeah, so you know not everything's going to land, but sometimes you don't even know. You never know.
Speaker 1:I feel like the better audience for me would be a kid.
Speaker 2:I'm usually pretty good at making life.
Speaker 1:So Thomason runs outside to cry in despair. William starts to accuse her of evil. Doing that led to caleb's death. She angrily defends herself and throws back all the lies that he has told to his wife that has given her bad feeling about thomason, and states that perhaps it was mercy and jonas that made a demonic pact with black philip. So here's the thing starting from. You know the kids up top, they're talking over them to this part. So stressful, so good. It's like you got the whole beginning and it's like slow buildup, right, slow buildup. And now it's like it's here, we're doing it. It's like fuck, things are about to get.
Speaker 2:It's like tense for the rest of the 30 minute runtime.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're like what the fuck is happening right now?
Speaker 2:beautiful, because you're still on the verge of like is this real or is are they?
Speaker 1:yeah, it's just experiencing, it's like is it just some crazy person in the woods and they're not actually witches, and or is there.
Speaker 2:I mean, they've shown us the witch, but like the family doesn't know that, yeah, the kids say they've seen the witch.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:They call her, they know her by name. Yeah, flora, flora.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's true.
Speaker 2:Because she's eating the goat. Yeah, I guess she was Black Phillip or something, or no.
Speaker 1:No, that wasn't Black Phillip, that was an actual witch.
Speaker 2:I assume they said she came from the sky, so she did. She crashed into the farm because it was all busted, the shit.
Speaker 1:I don't know. I guess it's a well. These, like everything he put in this movie was all like folk tales and folklore and stuff like that. So maybe there's like one where like witches can like teleport crash land into buildings.
Speaker 2:It's awesome.
Speaker 1:Maybe he turned into that rabbit and squeezed through a hole, potentially Right, right, no, but what happened to all the boards? Yeah, I don't know. Maybe there's this, or turned into a snake or hulked out. We're talking about devils.
Speaker 2:Cause the kids disappeared too. Maybe they just like busted through the walls? Yeah, Well, that that wall was busted up. It to bust through the walls.
Speaker 1:Oh man, it's just like Thomason wakes up. It's like things got wild.
Speaker 2:I know, yes, he had a minute. Yeah, she finally gets some peace and quiet for five seconds.
Speaker 1:So he then takes her in a room with the rest of the family and Thomason continues to tell him it's Jonas and Mercy with Black Phillip. When William starts to threaten to kill Jonas, they both wake up from their pretend sleep and start screaming like Whoa. Wait a minute. We're kids. We don't know that we should be serious right now. This was our bad. You know we didn't read the room right, alright, Look, we don't know what else to do. You don't buy us toys. We've been playing with this black goat the whole time.
Speaker 1:It's like also, the thing's been trying to kill us for a while. Maybe help us out here.
Speaker 2:They made some pretty fun songs about Philip though.
Speaker 1:That is true, black.
Speaker 2:Philip black Philip crown upon his head, Damn Something.
Speaker 1:That's beautiful. Yeah, I wish I could get you to sing that to me and just like record it and then I just like play it as I'm going to sleep Like oh nice little lullaby. So William locks his three surviving children in the barn with the goats until something happens. William is losing his fucking mind. Oh see, I thought we already got.
Speaker 2:Oh no, no, not quite yet. That's what I was thinking earlier. No. So the three, and so the three and the kids are just crying like crazy while he's nailing the boards.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like man William dude this will solve everything. Constantly testing oh, all my kids keep dying. Let's put them alone, away from me, and I'm gonna go to sleep immediately.
Speaker 2:Put him in there with the goat. See what happens science baby.
Speaker 1:This guy has no problem going to sleep during hard situations.
Speaker 2:Yeah, man, he sleeps like a baby, don't he?
Speaker 1:So the three, along with Black Phillip, talk. Thomason asks if there are witches and they don't say anything. They ask her and she says no. She asks if Black Phillip really speaks to them and they don't say anything. But we just zoom in on Black Phillip. Dude, black Phillip's my guy. He's like she's like constantly doing with that thing that goats do. They constantly like grind their teeth, so weird.
Speaker 2:I know a little bit about goats, guys maybe they put some peanut butter in his mouth, like Mr Ed.
Speaker 1:that would be really funny if that's the way he came to show them talking it's like you just see him like doing that with his mouth, like what's that? Like it's delicious, but he's like it's like Bugs Bunny, like man.
Speaker 2:What's up, doc? Yeah?
Speaker 1:That's it. That's all this was. It was just the classic Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny thing Duck season, duck season, rabbit season Rabbit season.
Speaker 2:Elmer Fudd yeah, oh yeah, he's got the same rifle.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's true. So William and Catherine bury Caleb, but first she lays in the grave with him. That night, William confesses that it is his fault. Due to his pride, he tells God to take him and redeem his family.
Speaker 2:Dude loves chopping wood, oh yeah he got it at winter's coming. I mean, it's the only thing he's good at, apparently.
Speaker 1:That's what Thomason says.
Speaker 2:And he's just chopping in the rain. He's like, hey, I am good at chopping wood.
Speaker 1:None of y'all can do it. God dang it. How about y'all learn a skill out in this part? One of you guys know how to do something. So meanwhile, catherine appears to wake up from her bed to find Caleb sitting in a chair holding Samuel. She approaches him and takes Samuel to breastfeed him, but in reality it's just a crow picking at Catherine's pussy, that is cool, yeah that was one of the most badass scenes do you think, like she goes and like she like pretends to put Samuel down.
Speaker 1:She lays in bed, wakes up like dude. William is a freak.
Speaker 2:Pretty metal. Yeah, it got a little crazy with the bird. I feel like there's a lot of, and the way it was ripping the meat out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's a lot of really great metal album covers in this movie. Yeah, it's like I could see that being like a Metallica album.
Speaker 2:Like all the witches floating in the air. Black Sabbath album.
Speaker 1:Or something yeah man, yeah. Like all the witches floating in the air Black Sabbath album or something. Yeah man, yeah. So in the barn the kids see a pale new figure drinking the blood of one of the goats. The creature a witch turns around and cackles at Mercy and Jonas, causing them to scream. So good, like just another. It's like two great sequences back to back. Hell, yeah, it's amazing. It's like and where did they go they? She just drug them out to the woods. She took them.
Speaker 2:Yeah well, the mom was in like a trance father sleeping like a baby with his thumb in his mouth, probably just like nothing bad happened to me since I've been here.
Speaker 1:yeah, yeah, that cackle though. That was awesome, so classic. A witch's laugh is amazing, so good, it's wild. It's just like when you first watch this movie you're like, man, this is going to be a really slow-paced movie. I remember kind of first watching it being like it's interesting and it's stressful, but it's like oh, this is a classic indie horror movie. It's all going to just end up being a five-minute scene. It's like it's all going to just end up being like a five minute scene. Then that's the reason it gets all this like notoriety, but then it's just like no, you get the last 30 minutes of like everything you want to see in this movie.
Speaker 1:It's like OK, cool, let's go.
Speaker 2:I really like how all witches or I guess most witches are depicted as like being naked when they do their shit. Yeah, and it's pagan shit. It's pagan shit, but it's pagan shit. It's pagan shit, but it's so funny to think of. Like, if somebody walks up on you and catches you doing something, yeah, no matter what it is, if you're naked, they're going to stop and you're going to have time to run away.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, and like being a witch, you get the good chance to like slowly turn around and go, and then they don't even have to run the other person's's like.
Speaker 2:I know what this is. I'm out. It strikes fear into their hearts.
Speaker 1:Pretty much if I seen a naked person in the woods and they start laughing like I'm out.
Speaker 2:What if you hear like a noise under your house and you look under there. There's just like an old woman.
Speaker 1:Here's the thing I'm not looking under there. I'm calling the cops.
Speaker 2:Call animal control.
Speaker 1:I am never looking. If I hear what sounds like a human voice under my house, I'm calling the cops. I'm not looking, jesse. Come here, jesse. No, I knew this would happen.
Speaker 2:Natalie, go check it out, yeah.
Speaker 1:Hey, natalie, take Snake, Throw him under there. No, I guess that would be my benefit. I'd have, like you know, because we only got one entrance to it. So it'd be like all right, I'm calling the cops, I'm leaving Snake right here. So if this thing comes out, snake will scare it, but he'll actually just end up wanting to get pet. Oh how sweet, right, because he sounds so terrifying when you come into my house. But then all he really wants is like he's just excited for you to pet him. Yeah, so in the morning William awakes, the goats have been slaughtered and Mercy and Jonas have vanished. Thomason emerges from the barn and sees Black Phillip charge at William, impaling him with one of his horns so hard.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like Black.
Speaker 2:Phillip says she's mine. Why didn't he try to? I mean, he picked up the axe and he's going to kill it.
Speaker 1:Well, to him, this was this. He thought this was going to be his sign from God to be like this is it? Take me, save everyone else. Black Phillip said bitch you're wrong. Stab stab Like. I guess he just like died from getting hit and then just some wood fell on him.
Speaker 2:I think none of it hit his head. I think his, his horns like ripped into his abdomen.
Speaker 1:Yeah, a little bit, but he's like still kind of walking around and then it looked like, yeah, you're right, and he was spitting up blood, and then he does it again. That's true.
Speaker 2:And then the wood falls on him the coup de grace God.
Speaker 1:Seriously, goats are crazy.
Speaker 2:Do your goats have that long like put some of those little tips on the on the like marshmallows on the tips. Yeah, corks but yeah.
Speaker 1:So william grabs a hatchet and seems ready to fight, but then he drops it, allowing black philip to charge him again and knock him into the pile of logs that crush him. Uh, catherine comes and it's obviously. It's great that, like the thing that he's good at is chopping wood, and it's what kills him. It's fucking filmmaking. Baby Catherine comes out and continues to accuse Thomason.
Speaker 2:She's like God dang it Out of everyone. She's the one that lives. She's the only one unscarred at this point.
Speaker 1:Blaming her for the deaths of her family members, catherine starts to choke. Thomason Also calls her like a slut and stuff.
Speaker 2:What did she say? You proud slut.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like what are you talking about dude?
Speaker 2:she hasn't boned anybody. She's like I'm a slut, do what I want, don't give a fuck but yeah.
Speaker 1:So she starts to choke Thomason, who continuously tells her mother that she loves her.
Speaker 2:Thomason grabs a nearby blade and hacks Catherine's face and just she's dead, gets her right above the eye and then she keeps going. Yeah, it's rad, I mean, what else you gonna do right, I don't know.
Speaker 1:As soon as she like hits her in the head with a thing, it's like well, there's probably no saving this relationship might as well just end it now.
Speaker 1:Right it's, it's like, because this is not going to stop her from trying to kill me. So Thomason quietly walks into a barn and dons a cloak. She falls asleep. Then she later encounters Black Phillip and demands to speak to him. After a brief moment of silence, we hear a quiet voice of Phillip yes, thomason, what it is that she desires, and tells her what he can promise her. Thomason, black Phillip, I conjure thee to speak to me. Speak as thou dost Speak to.
Speaker 1:Jonas in mercy. Dost, thou understand my English tongue? Answer me. I'm like no, no, dude, just talk normally. You're saying doused, a lot Doused. But then Black Phillip, like okay, I guess I have to use doused. What doused thou want, what can't thou get? What's thou like the taste of butter, butter? The sound of his voice is so smooth, calming, but like like I don't know there's like I don't know how to describe his voice, but I'd sign the book. Yeah, damn book. A pretty dress, what's that like to live deliciously.
Speaker 2:You want to see the world? Fuck yeah, man, put me on that magic carpet.
Speaker 1:It's just, you know, I don't know it's like, it's like an ASMR voice.
Speaker 2:And what else is she going to do? Yeah, her whole family's dead.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you go back to town and be like, uh, somebody's in the woods.
Speaker 2:No, I wouldn't say shit, be like.
Speaker 1:no, I just they're dead, they're gone my my mom went crazy and a goat killed people it. My mom went crazy and a goat killed people it's like okay, they run her out immediately. It's like what do you do here?
Speaker 2:right you don't say shit. You sign the devil's book and you see the world in a pretty dress. Eat all the butter you want.
Speaker 1:I mean in her head it's like, well, I guess I'm going to hell.
Speaker 2:I killed my mom, so fuck it, let's do this thing.
Speaker 1:So, philip, I killed my mom, so fuck it, let's do this thing so a Philip Philip appears to take human form and walks behind Thomas and it's great because you cut to the book and you get like the hoof right and then it lifts up and then it's a foot.
Speaker 2:Hell yeah and he's like what's that behind her? And he's like a dude. Yeah, it's like man.
Speaker 1:I wish I could watch this scene for the first time. I just remember being like, oh my God, this movie is amazing and it's perfect, and I don't ever want to watch another movie again. This is where it all ends here. I know one more, yeah, and telling her to undress. She does, and she follows him into the woods while naked. I love it. She's just like walking naked Black Phillip, like I'm staying in the back boy. I hate to see it go, but I love to watch it leave.
Speaker 1:In the middle of the woods. It's a coven of witches all dancing nude around a fire. Black Phillip. I had a good old time up there. Black Phillip's like hell yeah, I'm staying Go warm for this one.
Speaker 1:The witches then start to float in the air. Thomason embraces the darkness and begins to float high above the trees, smiling. Led Zeppelin plays in the background. And then that's the end of the movie. And then we see that the film was inspired by many folk tales, fairy tales and written accounts of historical witchcraft, including journals, diaries and court records. Much of the dialogue comes directly from those period sources and that's how witchcraft including journals, diaries and court records. Much of the dialogue comes directly from those period sources. And that's how you make a fucking movie about this time, do your research.
Speaker 2:I asked the. There's a guy at work who his roommates are witches. Cool that they claim to be witches and I was like ask them about the whole. Like like the way you shake hands with the devil used to be was to kiss a cat on its asshole oh, that makes sense, and I just thought that everybody knew that yeah. And. But he asked his roommates and they said no.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So like I feel like that's definitely like a, probably like a religious person was like dude. I heard that witches kiss cats balls.
Speaker 2:Yeah, weird cat ladies, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:It doesn't work, tell you that much Should we change the subject?
Speaker 2:No, I just think witches need to go through. They need to learn their history. Yeah, come on, witches.
Speaker 1:They probably got like a. It's like oh, you put some flowers in your hair, you're not a witch.
Speaker 2:okay, that's the Dr Seuss book, not the devil's book.
Speaker 1:So we're going to hit our category the good, the bad, the ugly, the fine. It's where we discuss the good of the film, something we like. The bad, something we didn't. The ugly, something that didn't age well. The fine, something that did age well. So, uh, the good for me was uh directing in the time period realism.
Speaker 2:Yeah, fucking goes. It really makes you um scared to be alive. Then yeah. Like if we were to still be in that kind of shit. Yeah, dude, having to grow crops. So much better to not have to do any of that stuff.
Speaker 1:Well, we had a bad year. None of we had a bad year. None of our crops grew, I guess we're all gonna die now yeah winter's coming and we we're too scared to move down south.
Speaker 2:So uh well, it's warm sometimes just having a grave digging party because of Native Americans that will probably kill us because we killed all of them.
Speaker 1:Um, yeah, I remember reading something like when it first came out, like Robert Eggers, like the least favorite shot is one where she's Thomasin's getting choked because you can see her earring holes and he like he never. They didn't have the budget to take it out and he hates that they didn't do it Barely.
Speaker 2:I did not notice that at all. Me neither. I feel like that's very picky yeah.
Speaker 1:Hey, but I mean he's so like, like he paid really close attention to the details of this uh time period and it's like damn it.
Speaker 2:They should have just called him like witch holes or something oh no, my witch holes they're closing up.
Speaker 1:It's like I wonder how much it would have cost just to like cgi she really put a little makeup on it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, something right it's like one little chop her fucking ear off.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, sorry, she's like uh, this is my first movie so I don't want to be too complicated, but uh, no.
Speaker 2:I don't want to be maimed, but I'll do it for you.
Speaker 1:Um, I put the bad nothing. Um, I can see people finding this to be too slow of a burn at the beginning, but I don't know.
Speaker 2:I don't know the tension was there almost immediately.
Speaker 1:It was yeah the build-up of suspense to being like damn it, more things keep happening. The last I really did thinking of watching it, because there's so many horror movies that I watch that are so slow, so slow. We have the entire film and then it's like five, ten minutes at the end it's like that was insane. But then, like when you go to rewatch it, it's like, oh yeah you remember, dude, nothing happens.
Speaker 1:But this I'm like. To me it's enough to keep me like, oh yeah, I could rewatch this. I could rewatch this. I love the beginning, the peekaboo, black Phillip walking around. Yeah, it's great. So I said nothing for the bad, you got anything um, so I said nothing for the bad.
Speaker 2:You got anything? Uh, no, not really, I thought. I mean, I kind of wish there was a little bit more of what was going on in in the plantation area.
Speaker 1:Maybe, I don't know, maybe just if there was anything to do with them, and the witch too, yeah, you know that's actually funny because so the originally the film wasn't going to start off with the plantation stuff at all like it was just going to start off with them in the woods, I guess, maybe like them first finding the location or whatever. But then they decided to put the plantation stuff to kind of build out what the family's like, yeah, and like, I guess, more of the time period. So I wonder if, like, if he had a bigger budget and it like wasn't his first film, if he would have done something like that, because his movies got have gotten bigger and bigger, as we've, as he's, he's made more movies, so, okay, that makes sense. It would have been cool to kind of see more of the plantation and like the I don't know, just to see, like what the fuck are y'all so upset about each other? Yeah?
Speaker 2:like a little more detail about like the differences but why they got kicked out, like was he really doing that big of a thing?
Speaker 1:I love if this was an M Night Shyamalan movie. The witch would actually probably just be somebody from the plantation sent there to kill him, or it'd end up being like actually it's 2025. What?
Speaker 2:And this is a theme park, yeah.
Speaker 1:Practically what happened in the village baby blood all right. So for the ugly, I put people used to like kill people because they uh thought they were witches, like raw rxd, you know yeah, that's kind of ugly.
Speaker 2:I hate where it went. It's like what are we doing? Yeah, boy, yeah, that's kind of ugly.
Speaker 1:I hate where it went. It's like what are we doing, boy? We're just so bored. Back in the day we had nothing else to do, but just like think people judge people and think they're witches. It's like man. The things we did for entertainment right Go to hangings and stuff. It's just like, well, there's nothing on the old dusty, the dust tube that we made, you know, like molded a sand into a fucking TV or something. Well, these lines are crazy today.
Speaker 2:It's like man invent a game or something. I thought there really wasn't anything ugly for me, I guess, because everything was just all the fucked up shit. That that is pretty ugly. It's like it's supposed to be there because it's evil yeah it's like this pure evil thing that's living out there and there's nothing you can do about it.
Speaker 1:Yeah it's like I don't know, religious paranoia, man, it's crazy. Yeah, that does suck like this. So, the fine, I put Anya Taylor-Joy and Robert Eggers and the Rad as Fucked, ending with Black Phillip. Yeah, all those things, they're all hugely popular, even Black Phillip.
Speaker 2:I'd like to see a sequel where she's in the coven and they're messing with people.
Speaker 1:That'd be great, that'd be awesome, that'd be a nice like final, like, let's say, 10-15 years from now. Robert Eggers, like I'm dude, it's my last movie and it's gonna be a sequel to the Witch and it's following the Coven and Anya Taylor-Joy. She's a little older so it can be like this is the double feature. It's a movie we um recommend. Alongside this movie got anything yeah, um.
Speaker 2:So the gretel and hansel movie? Yeah, it's a like a adaptation of hansel and gretel. Yeah, um, and it's like in the black forest in germany and it's fucking wild like the witch is insane.
Speaker 1:I don't know, it's just so, it's witchy yeah and it's it's kind of in the same avenue of this film yeah, it's got the girl from uh it like the redheaded girl from it, I believe uh maybe that's why they call it gretel and hansel, because she's the older sister. Oh, it was direct about osgood perkins, who, um did um black coat's daughter, which is a really good movie. Um, and didn't he? He directed? Oh, what's that movie? Um, yeah, long legs.
Speaker 2:Oh, I haven't seen long, fucking did long legs. Hell yeah, that movie rules. Is that Nicolas Cage? I really want to see it, yeah.
Speaker 1:I think I own it, actually borrow it. Yeah, he's actually made some pretty good, pretty good movies I have wanted to watch I Am the Pretty Things that Live In the House but I just haven't done that. That sounds horrifying, yeah he's only made like scary movies.
Speaker 1:Is it about dolls? I don't know. It's cool as hell though, yeah. Yeah, that's a good recommendation. I actually really want to check it out. So mine it's called Dark Song. It's kind of an indie horror movie. It kind of has that thing that I talked about earlier, where it's like really slow and then like 10, 20 minutes it's like everything was building up to this, but I think it builds up really good and it's very occult driven and it's a determined young woman and a damaged occultist risks their lives and souls to form a dangerous ritual that will grant them what they want. I think it has something to do with her dead son and stuff like that. It's called Dark Song. A dark song, yeah, it's on you can.
Speaker 1:Dark song, a dark song. Yeah, it's on um. You can use my amazon prime, you can watch it on amc plus.
Speaker 2:Sweet, hey, we don't, we don't share that stuff yeah, we don't do that man bezos leave us don't listen to this he's like don't worry, I'm in space, I know you listen to every single podcast there is to make sure they don't talk about your stuff.
Speaker 1:Well, because he's actually a robot and he just plugs in. It's's like you know, he's always like wearing like a cowboy hat nowadays or something.
Speaker 2:He's hiding a USB port like the top of his head.
Speaker 1:That's why he shaves his head. Yeah, Check out that movie. It's a very fun. It's like a lot of like, you know, like a cult rituals which fun to read about and listen to on podcasts. All right, so make sure you join us next week for the Terminator, the first Terminator that is. Oh yeah, it's amazing. I've only seen that one once.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when I was really little Dude the special effects at the end are fun.
Speaker 1:It's so kind of like janky, I thought you were going to say good well, it's good for the time. Sure, it looks rad as hell like watching it. It's like when you watch the end of that movie it's like this is cinema history. And then you watch the second one and it's like this is cinematic history. And then you watch the third one and it's like they should have stopped here. They should have stopped at two, because there's never going to be a good one of these anymore and we keep trying.
Speaker 2:You mean you don't want to see terminator, inflator breast to get out of speeding ticket?
Speaker 1:as a kid, that was fucking me. I did like that I did. The movie's not terrible, it's just like, hey, james cameron didn't want to do anymore, so let's just stop doing it right, like what the fuck is wrong with everybody?
Speaker 1:we just got to keep lightnings out of the bottle, guys, it really is. It's just like ah, there's no visionary behind this anymore. What are we doing? Um, yeah, join us next week for the terminator. Um, yeah, so, uh, let's close this uh podcast down, right? So, um, yeah, if you want to leave us some fan mail the description there's a link at the top of it. Uh, not all platforms support it, but click on that and you can just text us from your phone anything you want want to say Do you want to live deliciously? Type in I want to live deliciously and I'll send my dog to your house and go bark at you. Or, at the bottom of the description, there will be our email.
Speaker 2:How much baby blood does it take to fly?
Speaker 1:Yeah right, Leave us some reviews please. That would be great. Tell us, hey, living deliciously this podcast is. It's butter for my ears, you can tell I can't remember any other quotes, and Clickety-clackety-clickety-clackety. Oh man, thank you to Joey Prosser, who did our intro and outro music, and follow him on at Mr Joey Prosser. And well damn, this has been the we Recommend Podcast. Hot damn, I'm Jesse, I'm Jason Delicious, bye.
Speaker 2:That could be a slogan Thank you. Thanks for watching.
