V/H/S: Amateur Night

Bonus episode!!!

Ever wondered what happens when bad boys meet something truly terrifying? "Amateur Night," the opening segment of the cult horror anthology V/H/S, answers that question with blood-curdling efficiency.

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Music produced by Joey Prosser. X @mrjoeyprosser

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to VHS1 Bonus Episode
• 3:14 Breaking Down Tape 56 Wraparound
• 5:02 Amateur Night: Bad Boys' Worst Date
• 12:57 Lilith Mythology and Succubus Origins
• 18:00 Amateur Night's Terrifying Climax
• 24:10 Episode Wrap-Up and Next Week's Preview

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:00

Hello and welcome to a bonus episode of We Recommend a Movie Podcast, where every week we recommend a movie for you to watch and then come back here and listen to us discuss. I'm Jesse. I'm Jason.

SPEAKER_00: 0:13

I like you.

SPEAKER_01: 0:15

I like you too. Because this week we recommend VHS1 segment amateur nights. Bum bum bum. I man, I did that so much in the last episode. It was driving me crazy. Like when the House of the Devil, because we're doing this after House of the Devil. But I did bum bum bum a lot, and it was very annoying that I kept doing it.

SPEAKER_00: 0:41

No, it's fine. Jason. You don't have to get me to watch movies to tell you I like you, Jesus.

SPEAKER_01: 0:45

Oh, thank you, bud. Even if I had weird feet and turned into a succubus at the end. So this is our first episode where we're doing each week an individual segment of VHS, the anthology series. So, Jason, this week we're doing the beginning of Tape 56, which is the wraparound, which that's the segments that are between each clip at the beginning and then right after the next segment. I call it a wraparound. I don't know what else you would call it. Sure. Just a framing device, I guess. You know, a reason they put VHSs and watch them in there.

SPEAKER_00: 1:20

Yeah, I know why. I figured it out. Why? They try and they're like, we need our copy of Ferngully that we recorded off of television. That's what they're looking for. Okay. They didn't find it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:32

Spoiler alert. What do you think the tape they were looking for is? I mean, it's obviously, well, there is no tape. It was just this old man, I guess, trying to come and snatch up these these boys, these bad boys. Snatch them. They should have called this VHS the bad boys. For life. Because it's just a bunch of shitty boys getting what they have coming to them. Except in some, like up and comings. The one where the girl Emily is getting things ripped out of her. That guy kind of doesn't get what he kind of just keeps. He's coming to him. And then the guys at the end, it seemed like they were alright. They're, you know, probably little douche college kids, but you know, they didn't do anything bad to any but women. They actually tried to help the woman. Yeah. It was like, oh, cool. I didn't know men could do that in this.

SPEAKER_00: 2:22

And it answered the long, the age-old question of sword or no sword. Yeah. Fun fact, real ass sword. I've got this revolutionary sword I brought up. Yeah, let me hit people with it. Cut her ropes with it. Yeah. Like, thank God you brought that not plastic sword for costume. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 2:45

So the we'll discuss a little bit about Tate 56. Um, this is directed by the wraparound the framing segment. That's uh it's directed by Adam Wingard, who he did the Godzilla, the new Godzilla movies, the Kong and then X Kong or whatever you call them. He also did uh You're next, which is really good. I love that's a good horror movie. It's just kind of people in the woods in a house, and it's like a survivalist thing. It's really great. And the guests, which is my favorite Adam Wingard thing. And he also did the remake of um The Blair Witch, which I like. There was a remake? Yeah. It was like 17, 18, I'm not can't remember as well. Smash the box off. Yeah, it had a little uh it did not. It had a lot of good ideas. It's you know, it's just I mean, how much more can you do with Blair Witch, right? You know? Um, too many jump scares. Like, people don't act like this. Um but yeah, and it was uh written by Simon Bear, who does a lot of stuff with Adam White Fingered. Um yeah, so in all these VHS movies, the like framing segment, they kind of suck. I mean, they're just there, and it's just like, can we just come on? Like, there's only really one scare in this whole like I think they serve their purpose. Yeah, I mean, it gets you there. Sometimes this one, like the intro, it's like, let's just go. I don't, I'm tired of these boys. I hate it.

SPEAKER_00: 4:08

It's very um clockwork orangey.

SPEAKER_01: 4:10

Yeah, exactly. Oh my gosh, I had that in my notes. It's like this is like modern day clockwork orange.

SPEAKER_00: 4:16

Yeah, except no one gets beaten to death with a penis sculpture.

SPEAKER_01: 4:19

Yeah, that's true. Um, but uh fun fact the brick house the three guys break into, uh, where the VH tapes are located is the same house from the Marble Hornets, the YouTube uh series. I don't know if you heard of it. No, it was a f found footage web series on YouTube that popularized Slender Man. Just the same house as that. I remember I watched those and they're really creepy, you know, like in high school, just in your house on your laptop, just like is this real? But it was really fun. Um and yeah, that's pretty much all I got about Tate 56. I mean, just some boys that are just walking to place. Some bad boys. Um, but let's get to the main course, right? I fucking love this segment. Amateur night. So good. This was uh directed by David Bruckner, uh also written by David Bruckner and written by Nicholas Tikovsky. Um, David Bruckner did the ritual. Yeah, nice um Nighthouse in the most recent Hellraiser. Oh shit. You know what's fun? They actually made this segment into its own movie called Siren. I haven't seen it. It's got the same girl playing the uh The succubus? Yeah. Nice. Yeah. She looks crazy. She has a crazy face and it's great. She's like a walking red flag. Yeah, it's just like, hey, stop. It's like if someone whispers to me like that, I'm like, I'm good. No, we're in a bar. Why are you going, Hey, I like you. I really like you. It's like, no, I'm good. Did you go to college? Yeah. Um, but ultimately, did you like this segment? Yeah. Yeah, it was pretty good. It's like, because you want these boys to die, man. Yeah. You want them to get what they have coming to them. They're just trying to film a pornography, right? Yeah, without the women's the women's knowledge. It seems to be a very popular thing in this movie, especially at the very beginning with the tape 56 thing where you have like it cuts the every time they cut the tape, it cuts the guy trying to film him having sex with a girl without her knowing. And then you got this, and it's like, boys, stop being bad boys.

SPEAKER_00: 6:26

Are they roofy on these girls? Because that one girl totally passed out.

SPEAKER_01: 6:29

Yeah, she passed out. Well, they're doing cocaine in their car. Does cocaine usually make you pass out? I don't know. I well, I think they're just so drunk and so much drugs that eventually it's just like oh. Um what'd you think of the creature? Uh, the succubus? Yeah. She was badass. She was the best part. Whenever it has like the little thing on her forehead and where it kind of opens up, I was like, ew, is that where she has sex?

SPEAKER_00: 6:56

Yeah, she was really good at seduction. And then she ripped off that guy's junk.

SPEAKER_01: 7:00

Yeah, that was good. Yes. A guy deserved it. Um, I really like the I really like the setup of this one with the glasses. Oh, yeah. It's like, did you think that was a good like kind of device to use to film?

SPEAKER_00: 7:13

Yeah, much better than having to carry around a big camera. Camera, which is something that will happen the rest of the movie. Yes. If only we all had cameras to carry around all the time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 7:23

Um, but I I love and I like how like kind of bad it looks because you know, those glasses don't have like the best cameras in them, I'm assuming.

SPEAKER_00: 7:30

I feel like a lot of films like this are made this way. Yeah, they're glasses, cameras.

SPEAKER_01: 7:35

Yeah. Um yeah, and I thought the uh the girls are like a perfect blend of like looking creepy, but like almost being kind of attractive at the same time, where it's like, you seem like you might kill me, but I don't know, I might take that chance. I'm gonna take it. I'm gonna take that chance. I'm a drunk boy. Um, and I love the twist that because you don't really know what it's gonna be throughout the whole movie. Yeah, you think maybe she's a vampire, and then like especially like when she starts getting her powers, and then next thing you know, she's like fine. Yeah, it's like hell yeah, let's go, baby. Let's fucking go. Um it's very surreal. Yeah. All right. I guess we'll just go ahead and we're gonna try to keep these episodes short. So, you know, it's just supposed to be a little bonus episode on the Fridays that we do it. Um, so I guess we'll just go ahead and get to the plot. Uh yeah. We're not really gonna do like uh the point or anything or like the good, the bad, the ugly. We're just it's just us just chilling out talking about these little segments. Fuck yeah. All right, let's hop into it. Tape 56 intro. So uh each individual tape is framed by a story ta called uh tape 56 that follows a team of mass criminals that are sent by an unknown person to retrieve a VHS VHS tape from a singly empty house. Turns out I might have a hard time saying VHS.

SPEAKER_00: 8:52

What does VHS stand for? Uh video home system. I don't know. No, no, no, not no, I mean it's isn't it something horror society? Uh oh. Let me see. I couldn't remember what the V stood for. Maybe it's video.

SPEAKER_01: 9:07

I don't know, it just says video horror system.

SPEAKER_02: 9:10

It doesn't say anything either.

SPEAKER_01: 9:14

Yeah, it doesn't say for anything. Um also there's like I think there's like seven of these movies now, and they have a new one coming out uh in like four or five days, and I'm so excited. That one's called VHS Halloween. Well, so the movie starts by showing a crew breaking into dilapidated buildings and destroying them and sexually harassing a young woman while holding back her boyfriend. Yeah, that's it. Boy, uh putsy talk about a movie putting a bad taste in your mouth immediately. Because I remember the first time I watched it, I was like, what the fuck am I watching? Like, just because it's like, are all these gonna be like this? And then when it starts to the next segment, I was like, are all these gonna be like this? Yes.

SPEAKER_00: 9:51

They're the baddest boys. Mostly they're all gonna be like this. Yeah, they all almost all of them use nudity. Yeah. Pretty much. It's like a vulnerable thing.

SPEAKER_01: 10:00

Yeah, yeah, they do.

SPEAKER_00: 10:01

It's uh kind of scary.

SPEAKER_01: 10:03

Yeah. Um, and so yeah, they go, they're kind of looking for girls to like essentially just like lift up their shirt to get like$50 and things like that. It's kind of it's almost like those girls gone wild. Yeah, kind of stuff like that, you know, the really scummy stuff. Like, you know, we used to just like, hey, it's 3 a.m. Do you want to see how shitty of a world this is? Look, we got these girls drunk on and uh we filmed them. Here's like a 30-minute show just showing you elements, because you know, like a girl's gone wild, like those, yeah. It's all filmed in Panama City. Once it hit like 3 a.m. on Comedy Central, you'd see all of it. And it's like one after the other. Yeah, and it's just like, oh wait, no wonder guys suck. This is what we thought was cool when we were staying up late. I'm like, oh yay.

SPEAKER_00: 10:49

They even made a video game.

SPEAKER_01: 10:51

Yeah. It was awful. Um then we uh we cut to one of the guys secretly filming a girl while they were having sex. This is kind of like his tape was being used in that camera, so every time it shuts off, it like cuts to them, like that little section.

SPEAKER_00: 11:04

Oh, yeah. I was wondering if I I'm like, why is that happening? Yeah. I don't think cameras work like that, but no, yeah, you can tape over things and then whatever was playing on it.

SPEAKER_01: 11:15

Yeah, it's just like unless you fast forward a little bit, like it'd still just constantly keep taping over it. But yeah, it's like showing little clips. It's just like a device I use in all these VHS ones. They kind of do it in uh Cloverfield too. Oh yeah. Um, so then they hop uh we learn that they get$50 every time they show girls' booze for a reality show thing. They hop in a car and we learn they can make some money retrieving a VHS tape. Then we see the girl being secretly filmed, find the camera, and it's like, yeah, fuck off, dude. Uh the group is breaking into a house. We hear them talking about an old man that lives there. They rock around the house, and then two guys get spooked when they walk into a room with a bunch of old TV showing static and old man dead in the room. Get out.

SPEAKER_00: 11:57

Don't do it. No, you gotta get the tape. Why are you saying?

SPEAKER_01: 12:00

You guys are dumb. Dead guy. Whoever killed that guy might still be there. I don't know. Or the old man is sleeping. Yeah. It didn't really look that dead. Yeah, he looked pretty like if he died, he just died. Yeah. Yeah. Um, as the team searches for the tape, one member stays behind to view a tape that was already in the VSR VCR of the old man. Um, Adam Winger sets up a camera to face him and the old men. Man, cut to the first segment. Yeah, so that was the director of this uh that was watching the first tape.

SPEAKER_00: 12:31

Oh, cool. Yeah, yeah, that's neat. Yeah, um watch it. You're so curious. You're so curious. You will watch a tape with a dead guy. Yep, right.

SPEAKER_01: 12:42

Hey, whatever they can do to get some money, I guess. I guess they're really hard up.

SPEAKER_00: 12:47

$50,000. They spend all their time just breaking windows. I could see this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 12:52

So now we are on to the first segment. The main course of this episode.

SPEAKER_00: 12:58

Amateur night.

SPEAKER_01: 13:00

So, oh, um, and a little bit of facts about amateur night. The demonic woman Lily is based on the female demon Lilith from ancient mythology. Lily seems to have a talon-like feet and is briefly seen as a winged humanoid. Lily resembles the female winged demon or goddess depicted in Bernary Relief, an 18th century BC painting. Uh the this relief uh has long been suspected to be an early depiction of Lilith. So essentially a suck. And I was thought it was really cool. They've got something from uh mythol ancient mythology, and it's funny because Natalie yesterday, after I did my notes, she came home from lunch and she was talking about how they named one of uh someone that she a client of hers at the animal hospital named their cat Lilith based on an ancient creature. And I was like, the fucking succubus? She's like, what? And she's like, Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 13:51

And I was like, Whoa, I think, yeah, I think she was supposed to be like a counterpart to Satan or something.

SPEAKER_01: 13:56

Yeah, it's just like succubus, you know. They they get men and uh have sex with them till they die, I guess.

SPEAKER_00: 14:00

Yeah, and then they steal your life force, yeah. And rip off your junk. Ouch, jeez. I thought that's where you were going with the Natalie story. I don't know if it would have felt bad for you first. Still connected.

SPEAKER_01: 14:12

Oh, good. Still connected. Never make your woman angry. They might do it. You never know. All right, so amateur night. The short follow Shane, Patrick, and Clint, three friends who have rented a hotel room with the intent to have fun and bring women back for sex. Hell yeah. There's only two beds and one couch, so it's weird.

SPEAKER_00: 14:31

They're trying to make a perna.

SPEAKER_01: 14:33

Yeah, a perna. Clint wears a pair of glasses with a hidden webcam inside them to record the encounter. Clint is obviously uncomfortable in not wanting to film a porno, but they start getting him drunk. Yeah. That seems to be all everybody in this movie. Hey, just start drinking, everything will be okay. So the three go to a local bar and chat up some girls. Shane seems to be able to find some girls to talk to them and start drinking together. Clint films a girl that is very quiet to the point that he can barely hear her, but we finally hear her say, I like you. Aw. He's like, I like you too. I like you too. You sound so much like Sylvester Sallone, it's crazy. Um, but yeah, I know I love this. Whenever they go in the bar, she's like constantly in there and she's constantly in frame, but she just kind of and you always see her staring at Clint. And it's it's fun.

SPEAKER_02: 15:22

It's fun.

SPEAKER_01: 15:24

Ow! You have to make it obvious to the boys. Yeah. Yeah, because even like if I was that young still back then, I'd be like, I don't know, she's staring at me, but she probably doesn't like me. Yeah, exactly. That's how I was like in high school. I'm like, I don't know if this girl likes me. And it's just like, well, does she constantly talk to you, text you every day, and like constantly finding ways to hang out with you? I'm like, yeah, I think she might like you. I don't know. I it's too, it's too risky to take the chance. It's like, you know, even like going to propose to my wife, I was so nervous. And I'm like, that's okay though. It's like she's gonna say yes. Like, why am I so nervous? It took me like an hour to finally do it. But anyways, so they get kicked get kicked out of a bar for being too drunk. Um, Shane persuades two girls, Lily, the quiet girl, and Lisa, just some one of the girls that he was randomly talking to, to return with them to the hotel room. On the car ride home, they do cocaine.

SPEAKER_00: 16:22

I wonder if they give him some crazy good pickup lines.

SPEAKER_01: 16:26

Yeah, they're like, hey, girl, you ever want to have sex with a guy with glasses on?

SPEAKER_00: 16:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 16:32

It works every time.

SPEAKER_00: 16:33

Yeah, sure. How much does the polar bear weigh? Hey, how uh how much? Enough to break the ice. Ooh, see ya. You look like are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only tid I see.

SPEAKER_01: 16:48

Can we just do this throw us on the car? Okay, okay, okay. Uh we'll do that for uh Valentine's Day. Let's do a pickup line episode. All right. Um, so they get back to the room. Clint looks at himself in the mirror, nervous and trying to pump himself up. He comes out, and Shane and Lisa are talking and flirting on the on one bed while Lily waits on the other. She's just staring him down, Clint, the whole time. Patrick is just laughing on the couch fucked up. It's like, because Lisa and um Shane, they're you know, they're kind of like making out on the bed, and then Clint goes over to his bed, and you just see uh Patrick on the couch, like I'm just sitting on the couch. Just like this is happening, and I'm sitting right here. It's like, yeah, what's the plan if there's three girls like, hey, we gotta do the couch? And be like, no, Clint's. It's up to you guys. Like it's the couch.

SPEAKER_00: 17:39

More for you.

SPEAKER_01: 17:41

So um Clint talks to Lily, she keeps whispering and hisses, and then eventually hisses at Patrick when he comes up.

SPEAKER_00: 17:46

He's like, Bad kitty.

SPEAKER_01: 17:49

Uh Shane becomes angry when Lisa passes out before he can have sex with her. He then turns to Lily, who he starts trying to kiss and have sex with. Clint reluctantly films them. They take off her dress dress and she has crazy feet. Yeah. Uh webbed and claws. And uh it's just because like he's like, Clint, come here, and like starts getting really close to them. And it's like, you just want to have sex when these guys stand here next to you. It's so fucking weird, man. They're best bros. Bad boys, dude. Bad boys, best bros, bad boys. Um, then uh Shane gets on top of Lily. Uh Lily takes control and starts to take off Clint's clothes while on top of Shane. Ooh, it's like I'm describing a porno now. You kind of are. This is fun. I'm gonna put some music. Boom. Clint gets stressed and runs to the bathroom. He talks himself into it though. Because at first he's like, I can't do this. Then he's like, you know what? I'm gonna I'm gonna fucking do it. And you're like, you just killed yourself, mate.

SPEAKER_00: 18:47

He does some self-affirmation.

SPEAKER_01: 18:48

You were almost a good guy, but now you're a shitty boy. So see you later. And then uh suddenly Patrick runs in because uh she bit his hand because he tried to join. Yeah, it's over, and he's completely naked. There is male nudity in this. So it's not just all girl nudity. So they go out to confront her and she turns into like a vampire thing. Yeah they run back to the bathroom like holy shit, what the fuck? And then the two men we're still gonna do it, right? Yeah, oh yeah, okay, yeah. So after she kills him, I'm sure she'll be DTS. So the two men they peek out of the bathroom and see Lily start to devour Shane alive. She like puts her foot on his mouth like and then like hops out of the bed. It's so cool. It's so good. This is where you're like, let's rock and go. Um, the true two try to escape. Uh, Patrick armed with a shower rod, but are stopped by Lily who kills and eats and sucks Patrick's blood. Um, I love when they come out and she has it. She's got this weird little pose where her hands are over and it's like, I don't know. And like she's kind of fully in shadow at that point. And it's like, all right, we got a filmmaker here making this movie. And it's like he might be the best filmmaker in this.

SPEAKER_00: 20:04

Maybe she's trying to seduce the next boys. It's like, next. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01: 20:09

I'll be the show next.

SPEAKER_00: 20:10

No, no, I haven't seen that. Oh, it was this old like dating show thing. Don't worry about this dead guy.

SPEAKER_01: 20:18

Like, come on. Like, come in. Don't you like it? Ooh, you can see my armpits. Hey, that's sexy. Uh but yeah, so um, yeah, R.I.P. Patrick, he getting Eaton. Uh Clint, who is like hiding behind the bed, keeps like peeking over with his glasses and just like sucking all the blood out. And then like she's done. Then she starts like throwing it up on him, and it's like, fuck yeah. Oh my god. It's great. This might be my only chance. Yeah. So this like, yeah, and then she looks at Clint and Clint's like, I'm out of here. And he's like running downstairs, and of course, silly little Clint trips, falls, and breaks his wrist. And then another great part because you know, he's kind of he looks, he kind of hears a noise at the top of the stairwell. He looks over, but then he looks at his hand, then he turns back at the top of the stairwell and she's just like hunched over, like, I like you.

SPEAKER_00: 21:10

Oh, I like you. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna stay with her.

SPEAKER_01: 21:13

And then he's like, Oh shit, oh shit. And then like he kind of turns away and then turns back, and he's like, she's right in his face, got a split down her forehead. Yeah, and it's like Harry Potter. Hey, this is cool. Right? It's just fucking rat. It's so good. Um, and then yeah, he's like super scared, and uh, but she doesn't attack him instead, repeating that she likes him and then goes down on him. I'm not sure if she's using her forehead or her mouth, not sure. Um, when he does not get hard though, Lily hides in a corner and cries while Clint escapes.

SPEAKER_00: 21:46

How could he do that to her?

SPEAKER_01: 21:48

I know, dude. Like dang. I mean, she was like, what, an eight or nine without the split? I mean, only take a couple points, like maybe a six out of ten with the split in their forehead. So inconsiderate, making girls cry. Right. Ugh, bad boys, dude. Bad boys meant a bad or woman. So he tends to escape. Uh, he asks for help from strangers, like the people in the hotel, and they're like, uh, we see this too much. You gotta get going. And then runs to some guys around a truck, and then next thing you know, he's stopped by Lily and like taken up in the air, and then we see her above. He's got the talons in like his chest. We see her flying, she's like, Got him. And then uh, next thing you know, the it's impossible to see what's going on on the screen, and the glasses fall to the ground. Oh no. DN. I just gotta get new glasses. I know. That's why he's like, Do you have glasses in hell? I hope he had them in shirt. It's like, do you actually take me to hell, or is it just like you're gonna take me to the beach and just have sex with me? Yeah, she's gonna go eat it. Yeah, and then like baby, baby bird some uh children's.

SPEAKER_00: 22:52

Fucking hey. Like little harpies. It's got tiny little foreheads, holes.

SPEAKER_01: 22:58

Yeah, that is amateur night. Um, it was awesome. Pretty good, right? It was really, really good. It's uh we're not gonna at the on the very last uh bonus episode, we're gonna rank all of them. So we're not gonna say where we think this is in our rankings yet. But so you gotta watch listen to all the bonuses to get that. But yeah, man, uh it's kind of a banger of a little short. It's a really good idea. Um, all the effects look great. Uh the little, you know, the forehead thing on our face, it's obviously fake and you can tell it's CGI, but fine with me. I thought it was good. Yeah, it was it's just really fun. Like it's really short, yeah. Exciting. Did you feel like it was? Um, did it give you that feeling of like shit, I'm kind of a voyeur in this situation? Yeah, definitely. Because I think it's since these are all found footage segments, I feel like I should ask that and all that because uh you know that's kind of the point of found footage. You have to feel like you're like intruding in these people's lives by seeing this, which I think the next um store segment, which we'll do next week, is actually really good at that. Um But yeah, that's our discussion on uh amateur night. I hope you I hope you enjoyed these bonus segments. Uh, this is literally all it's gonna be. Um, so I hope you like it. Just listen to us kind of goof around. We're doing all these in one sitting. We seem to have a lot of energy and we're in good mood. So each one should be a banger. Um yeah, so make sure you join us next Friday where we'll have another bonus episode and we'll be covering the continuation of Tate 56 and the segment second honeymoon. So yeah. Uh like, review, subscribe, follow. Uh thank you, Joey Prosser, for our intro and outro music. Send us some fan mail, it's all it's all the shit in the description. Just click it, copy it, email it, whatever. This has been a bonus episode of We Recommend. I'm Jesse. I'm Jason. And we like you. Like you a lot. Hi.