Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story

A ridiculous sport, a perfect villain, and one of the tightest joke-per-minute comedies of the 2000s—this week we tumble headfirst back into Dodgeball and ask why it still crushes. From Ben Stiller’s feral swagger as White Goodman to Vince Vaughn’s laid-back charm, we break down how a simple underdog story turns into a quotable classic with real sports tension. We revisit beloved bits—the five D’s, “If you can dodge a wrench,” Jason Bateman and Gary Cole calling chaos on ESPN 8: The Ocho—and unpack the craft behind the sudden-death finale that feels as choreographed as a championship bout.

If nostalgia, quotable writing, and sports-movie catharsis are your thing, hit play and laugh with us. Then tell a friend, subscribe, and leave a quick review—what’s the Dodgeball line you still say out loud?

We would love to hear from you! Send us an email and maybe it will be read on the podcast! werecommendmailbag@gmail.com

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2199769

Music produced by Joey Prosser. X @mrjoeyprosser

Chapters

• 0:03 Setting The Stage: Dodgeball
• 1:21 Is It Top-Tier 2000s Comedy?
• 3:16 Stiller, Vaughn, And The Cast Chemistry
• 5:18 Loving The Underdogs: Why It Works
• 7:43 Comedy Central Classics And Galaxy Quest
• 10:42 Gimmick Comedies Then And Now
• 14:21 Real-Life Dodgeball Tales And Leagues
• 18:25 Stiller’s Villain Mode And Heavyweights Theory
• 23:43 Trivia Run: Wrenches, Studios, And The Ocho
• 28:18 Prison Extras, DVD Commentaries, And Bits
• 32:06 Plot Walkthrough: From Globo To Joe’s
• 42:20 The Training Montage And Patches O’Houlihan
• 47:56 Vegas Bracket: BDSM Uniforms And Upsets
• 53:12 Semifinals, Sign Gag Tragedy, And Stakes
• 57:40 Forfeits, Chuck Norris, And Sudden Death
• 1:03:00 Endgame, Bets, And Capitalist Comeuppance
• 1:06:20 What Aged Well, What Didn’t
• 1:10:20 Double Features And Final Thoughts
• 1:13:50 Next Week’s Tease And Listener Mail

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:03

Hello and welcome to the We Recommend Podcast, a movie podcast where every week we recommend a movie for you to watch, then come back here and listen to us discuss. I'm Jesse. And I'm Jason. You had me at Blood and Semen. Cause this week we recommend Dodgeball, an a true underdog story.

SPEAKER_01: 0:31

Is this a big movie for you? Uh yeah, it was. When it came out of theaters, I saw it.

SPEAKER_00: 0:36

It was so nice I saw it twice. So nice you saw it twice. I did not get to see it in theaters, but this was like constantly on Comedy Central and like TBS and all those channels, and I watched it a lot. I love it. It's um it's weird because it's kind of a movie where you're like, oh it's I got I don't know. It's like got the classic silly 2000s gimmick where it's like, hey, here's something that's weird, right? Now here's a bunch of comedic actors in here making it weirder. Throw in Chuck Norris, you know. Throw in Chuck Norris. Perfect recipe for laughs. The best movie Chuck Norris has ever been in. Probably. Thank you, Chuck Norris. You got it, Peter. Fucking Chuck Norris. Oh, so good. Um uh so show should this movie be up there with like some of the best comedies of the 2000s? Like if you think like Super Bad, Step Brothers, Anchor Man, and all that. Yeah, maybe. I think so.

SPEAKER_01: 1:34

I think yeah, it's got a lot of good stuff in it.

SPEAKER_00: 1:37

I think this is funnier than Anchorman, honestly.

SPEAKER_01: 1:40

Oh yeah. I've I've probably seen this movie more than Anchorman.

SPEAKER_00: 1:43

Yeah, and that's wild. It's it's funny once we did Anchorman, we're you know, we're just like, yeah, that's Anchorman. And then it's like every comedy we've done after that, I'm like, holy shit. Everything's kind of funnier in Anchorman. Like, I don't I don't know. I don't know what it is. Um, and I think obviously I guess I kind of think that Ben Stillers, when he's like on his A game, is kind of funnier than any other comedic actor there is, especially when he's doing this type of shit. This is my favorite stuff he does. I love him as a villain. He's so good. He's so cocky and like jittery. It's so funny. And just the way he pronounces words sometimes is yeah. And that's what I think. Um, like Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn are two great talkers in comedies. And yeah, they really are. Um but Vince Vaughn's just very like he's got more of a charisma to him, and uh he's just very fast talking, though he doesn't really do that much in this movie. It's it's not like his classic Vince Vaughnness. He's kind of just playing the straight role. Yeah, just kind of like a sweetheart. Because everybody's kind of m uh funnier around him than he is, which is very weird because usually Vince Vaughn is the funniest person in the movie.

SPEAKER_01: 2:55

But he's always he always seems to be just the most welcoming and understanding person, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 3:02

Yeah. And the boy can wink. When he he winks in like every movie and it always works. You're like, God damn, how's he so fucking charming? It's ridiculous. Where are my fans now? It's like he's not even like the most good-looking guy there is, but when he winks, I'm like, I'm in. Um, so um, what is it about this movie that you love, Jason?

SPEAKER_01: 3:23

Just it's wacky. I don't know. It's it's so stupid. And so but you're rooting for these the underdogs, yeah. I guess that's what it is. Is it kind of Steven Root?

SPEAKER_00: 3:36

It's Steven Root not like you put him in everything, dude. It's so funny he because he sounds so much like uh Bill Daughtry in this movie compared to like some of his old other roles. I feel like he kind of like he doesn't he doesn't do the full Bill. But in this one, there's a lot of parts where I'm like, man, he must have just came off the set of King of the Hill or the booth of King of the Hill. Hey, where do you go when your wife changed the locks? Yeah, it shows and then uh Justin Long, we gotta mention him because he's so good at playing like the little little uh me type character. Skinny Lunky uh white guy who's just like constantly getting like picked on and bullied. Him dodging everything is just so good. He's such a good comedic, uh physical actor. The hair is so greasy all the time. It's so great. He he does a really because I think of the movie. Do you ever watch Accepted? That's where he like makes his own The College, yeah. Yeah, and that's where Would you like to touch my wiener? Yeah, would you like to touch my wiener? God, we'll have to do that sometime. I love that movie. That was another one that was on Comedy Central a lot. That I was like, hell yeah, accepted. Probably not a good movie, but I don't know.

SPEAKER_01: 4:52

It really made me laugh. It did make me laugh, um, especially the the chef that made his balls.

SPEAKER_00: 5:01

But Justin Long is this, you know, he's just a great like underdog character that's always able to just like he always gets the girl in the end of every movie. Except Jeepers Creepers, yeah, because you know, he loses, he gets no girl, it just loses skin. Oh, yeah, I don't remember. And peepers. Oh, wow. Uh yeah. Oh, spoiler for Jeepers Creepers. Just sorry, I don't know if you've seen it.

SPEAKER_01: 5:23

Uh I think I have. I don't remember, but the one where he goes to space, I love him in that one. Um uh um, but it's like Star Trek.

SPEAKER_00: 5:31

Oh, uh Galaxy Quest? Yes. He's in Galaxy Quest? Yeah, I love Galaxy Quest. Yeah, me too. That was another um another big like Comedy Central movie. And that's kind of one of those movies that uh people are like, oh, you know, Galaxy Quest, it's so funny. And then other people are like, I've never heard of it. It's like if you were in the 2000s watching Comedy Central, you fucking heard of it. Yeah, holy shit. That is a really funny movie. It's um yeah, that cast is fucking sad. You know who else I love. It's the best Tim Allen movie that probably is next to Toy Story. For sure. Uh Alan Tudik is one of my favorites. I know, and a little sad. I thought he had more stuff to do in this movie, but it was like, oh no, he kind of he's got some great parts, but just pirates. I was like, I swear, like if you were to ask me, it's like, what do you remember about underdog story? It'd be Vin Stiller, Vince Vaughan, um Jason Bateman, and then Steve the Pirate. But then I was I was watching this, like, man, he's barely in it. What the heck? But I do love whatever his my favorite part of him is when he comes back, hi, I'm Steve. He's like, and then Owen, Steve the Pirate, and so he didn't know who he was before. Then he's like, Well, I don't know what I'm gonna who I'm gonna share all this treasure with.

SPEAKER_01: 6:48

And then it's his errors so I love it in the very beginning when he shows up, he like knifes Peter, and then he uh he's like to pay you back with the buried treasure. Uh yeah, I gotta find it for it. Whatever I found it, find it. It's like, yeah, just a couple bucks here or there.

SPEAKER_00: 7:06

Yeah, we'll be fine. Thanks. Do you um do you kind of miss when like every comet uh comedy had a gimmick though? Like Anchorman is you know, 70s like Anchorman. This dodgeball, Tally Digga Nights had NASCAR and various other comedies that I've completely blanked on. Do you kind of miss the gimmicky comedies or are you kind of down with these real people and real situations that are just like really silly? I don't know.

SPEAKER_01: 7:31

I think there's there's something good about the gimmicks. Um, it really allows for some silliness that you don't see anywhere.

SPEAKER_00: 7:40

Well, especially because it's like I'm sure there are dodgeball, I mean there are definitely are dodgeball tournaments, and it's like, hey, you get like a glimpse into the world. None of it's like true or anything, but like it's just funny to see, and you know that there's people like out there is like they're doing dodgeball. We're we have a fucking dodgeball league.

SPEAKER_01: 7:59

Well, I played because of this movie. Um in college, we started a dodgeball like group. And this is great. My next question was everyone hated us. What's your skill at dodgeball? But we didn't play this type of dodgeball, we played a different type that was more of I was more of a free form running around the gym hitting each other with the balls.

SPEAKER_00: 8:19

Should we see if there's dodgeball tournaments near us? I think it'd be way more fun than any other like sport that normal people do. Because anybody could play dodgeball. Just got to catch and be able to throw a ball. Yeah, it's really easy. I was really in junior high, it was it's my claim to fame in junior high. Nice is that I was really fucking good at dodgeball. Like, no joke. Like I was being picked like first to play dodgeball. Yeah. And it's wild. I just remember it just be like, I was like, let's fucking go, Jesse. I'll be like, I got two fucking balls, I'm catching everything. And just be like just nailing kids in the face. Well, we what's really annoying is we didn't have like the dodgeballs they have in this. We had like these really foam balls that were impossible to have the big red ones. That's why I was probably like I was really good at it because I was like, I immediately was like, Oh, I fucking get these type of balls. Throwing them everywhere. But it was I just remember one time it was just like me versus like five other people, and like I won the match. Yeah. I like every time, like in this movie, when they're like, they catch the ball and another person comes in. I was like, I fucking know that, dude.

SPEAKER_01: 9:26

I feel that in my heart. Yeah, I've played it in school. You always had the balls that would just leave a red mark on your face.

SPEAKER_00: 9:32

Like it's really a bummer. And I mean, and it's probably I got good at it because in um elementary school, we played with basketballs. Oh, what? Against the wall. That's insane. Wait, against a wall? We stand in front of the school wall, and um somebody would have a dodgeball, and essentially if you got hit, you're out. If you caught the ball, you become the person that gets to throw the ball. And uh it hurt. So it was my goal as a kid to never get hit by a ball.

SPEAKER_01: 10:05

You got really good at it.

SPEAKER_00: 10:06

And I got really good at it. Yes. We played that so much. I don't know. We always had like a little, I mean, we were kind of like not really a poor school, but for most of my elementary school life, we didn't really have cool things to play with. So it was always like, here's some balls, here's a basketball hoop and two swings. Hey, throw this at each other. We came up with games with balls. Give me that wrench. Here's the ball. We had a game where you know, like um the metal bars, it's kind of like half dome, and you can kind of climb above on and get inside and kind of climb. Yeah, like the Eagles and me and one of my friends, we came up with a game called Thunderball. What? Yeah. And it's essentially we're just like in this little half dome thing. Um, we'd have to you take the ball and you gotta bounce it, right? But you can't like grab the ball, you just bounce it. And the point is to kind of just bounce it. And if it comes to you and like touches you and it bounces, then you're out. Like, you know, if if you screw up and it doesn't touch anybody, you're out. So I got really good at just like belting the ground and hitting people. And it's like, and while watching this movie, it's like, wait a second, I should be I should start a dodgeball tournament.

SPEAKER_01: 11:13

I think I'd be great at it. It's too bad he never made it onto the OSQ. I know. Oh, dude.

SPEAKER_00: 11:19

I could have been on ESPN Ocho. Um, who do you prefer com comedically, Vaughn or Stiller? I think, God, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01: 11:28

Maybe Stiller. I I love because this character, this villain is a lot like the one he played in heavyweights. There is a theory that people think that the character from heavyweights is actually this character. It could be. I'm down with that. Yeah. He loved fat shaming kids and everyone.

SPEAKER_00: 11:45

One of my favorite lines he has in this is like, you know, I made something of myself. You know, I put all this money in here and a healthy investment from my dad. And I was like, hey, it's like all the fucking rich people in the world right now. I was like, they fucking nailed it.

SPEAKER_01: 11:58

Yeah, they he really pulled himself up from his bootstraps.

SPEAKER_00: 12:00

Yeah. Or he pulled up his daddy's bootstraps. Can I ask you something? Uh sure. What the fuck are bootstraps?

SPEAKER_01: 12:11

Ah does anybody it's what you I think it's maybe it's that thing on the back of your shoe that you the little loop where you pull it to pull your boot off. Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 12:19

Your foot. It's funny because most of my boots don't have those straps.

SPEAKER_01: 12:23

Yeah, they don't think they've really been a thing since before the Civil War.

SPEAKER_00: 12:26

I like to think, you know, how like girls are like uh what are they, like garter belts or whatever. Yeah. I like to think that's like the men's sexy garter belts, the little bootstraps. And it like it attaches to your boots and goes all the way up to your thighs. So whenever you take away, attach them to your underwear. So whenever your girl comes home and you walk in, you got your you got your big old boots on and your underwear, just like with straps going all the way up to your thighs, baby. Oh, that's manly. I think I'm gonna make that the bootstraps lingerie for men. It's already a thing.

unknown: 12:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 12:57

Well, I mean, there is like there is a need for men's lingerie. I don't know what it could be, but there is a need for it. And I'm gonna make it, damn it. Nice. Yeah. Nice. So what were we talking about? The movie Dodge Bolt? I don't know.

SPEAKER_01: 13:08

My mind's all on lingerie.

SPEAKER_00: 13:10

All I can think about is Jesse's thighs with some bootstraps on it.

SPEAKER_01: 13:13

Get you a bro from Seinfeld. Yeah. Oh, yeah, lingerie boots.

SPEAKER_00: 13:18

Man, one of the best episodes. Um funny. It's a man zero. And it's great because uh that's Ben Stiller's dad in those movies. Uh, whatever his name is. That's really his dad? Yeah, that's uh something stiller. What's it? Jesus.

SPEAKER_01: 13:31

Jerry Stiller, no. He was amazing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 13:34

R.I.P. Jerry Stiller, yeah. I had it right. Um R.I.P., you know, just one of the funniest guys. You know, he's obviously obviously in um uh what's Zoolander. He's the guy.

unknown: 13:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 13:49

Well I never knew that was his dad. That's crazy. I know it's great. Um, because you know, everybody that's in into comedy usually is uh nepotism. Well, but you know, it helps, especially with comedians, because I feel like they're funny because they just grew up around comedians and it makes sense, right? It does make sense. Also, I think we gotta stop complaining about nepotism. What do you want people to do? Yeah, not help your kids. Yeah. Right? Like, come on, I don't blame them. Fuck off. Everybody, everybody's got he's gotta be like a thornby or whatever his name is and uh knives out. All right, ready for some thrombie factual facts. Thrombie, yeah. Yeah, let's go. So Justin's long eyebrow was actually cut open by the first wrench thrown at him. All the other wrenches thrown were made of rubber, but the first one was harder than all the other ones. So him rolling around the ground, pretty. Well, it's not an actual wrench, it was just like harder rubber than the other ones. Oh fuck. Yeah. All right. Had to have some weight because I mean otherwise you can't really throw them and it won't look believable. Yeah. So uh many dumbass studios, including Drum Dreamworks Pictures and uh MGM, passed on this movie, but 20th Century Fox finally agreed when Ben Stiller reduced his salary too well under one million. The movie grossed over 124 million when it only costs 23 million million million to make million. And what's really great about um this fact is that uh now half of these uh studios are owned by like one company. So what's really great is um more movies are gonna get uh you know passed up on because uh these other studios don't want to do them. And we only have like four studios now. It's really fun.

SPEAKER_01: 15:23

It's really great.

SPEAKER_00: 15:24

Yeah, good for them. Um if you're listening to this five years into the past, Netflix is by Warner Brothers. And uh dumbass movie nerds like me are uh really stressed out about it. So you should be. Yeah, adult dodgeball leagues began to spring up across the country, and around the time of the movie's release, cast members Gary Cole was even invited to a tournament in Chicago, Illinois. That's a Cotton McKnight great name. Wow. Yeah. It doesn't say if he went to it, but I really hope he did. I really hope he did, too. If I was in this and anyone called me, he's like, hey, you want to come to these tournaments? I'd be like, screw Comic-Cons and stuff. I'm going to every Dodge Ball. Because at least it, I mean, it's gotta be fun to watch, right? Yeah, maybe. I don't know. Oh, something I read like right before uh you got to my house is that most of the people in the background and in the audience, they're all inmates. Wow.

SPEAKER_01: 16:23

Good for them. Yeah, isn't that great?

SPEAKER_00: 16:25

And then whenever you when you look at them, you're like, Well, they really didn't need like to scrape the bottom of society.

SPEAKER_01: 16:35

Yeah. People from dodge ball for it.

SPEAKER_00: 16:38

You literally, you literally pulled up into my driveway, and I was like, shit, I can't read this anymore. So I have no other topic facts about it. Just if you're interested in it, go read it.

SPEAKER_01: 16:47

Oh, that's so neat. Um, so I wish I was in prison. Yeah, then I can go to movies. And the good thing about it, they can't leave. They're gonna be there for the whole shoot.

SPEAKER_00: 16:59

Yeah, it's like, oh, cool. They're just you know what handcuffs as a freeman. I never once met Vince Fawn, but these damn inmates did. Pissed off. Yeah, they gotta meet all kinds of people like Johnny Cash.

SPEAKER_01: 17:13

Yeah, that's true. I mean, it's probably not the same one.

SPEAKER_00: 17:16

It's one of my favorite parts of uh um walk ring of walking. Walk a line. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 17:22

Oh god.

SPEAKER_00: 17:24

We gotta do that one time. That's gonna be when Natalie definitely has to join us.

SPEAKER_01: 17:27

Wrong sun died.

SPEAKER_00: 17:28

Well, that's walk hard. Which I say we have to do that next year. I've been I've been constantly talking about on this podcast and never do it. So and the unrated DVD uh contains a fake commentary where Ben Stiller and two main actors do nothing but fight, as well as claim to hate each other, before storming out 40 minutes into uh in the commentary. The commentary is then replaced with the commentary for there's something about Mary. Yay! That's a good one, too. That would be hilarious. Like I love like great like stories about great DVD commentary. Like the most popular one is for Armageddon. Wow. Where uh Ben Affleck is doing commentary with who's the fucking director of that? Completely blinking on that director's name. Armageddon. Come on, he's that one guy. Come on, gamma. Okay, well, just I guess I'm gonna have to fucking cut all this out because I can't remember. Michael Bay. So Ben Affleck and Michael Bay do the commentary together. But uh Ben Affleck, did I say steal here? Ben Affleck is constantly kind of making fun of the movie like the entire time. And there's the you know, the question about this is like, is it really harder to train spacemen astronauts to learn how to drill? And Ben Affleck's like, so uh that's really interesting. Is it actually really being it's snooty Ben Affleck? Uh so I is it really actually harder for astronauts to learn? And Michael Bays is like, shut up.

SPEAKER_01: 19:01

I love to imagine Michael Bays watching the movie, he's like, I really wanted to put an explosion here and here and here, but they the budget wouldn't allow it.

SPEAKER_00: 19:10

Kind of the oh man. So uh yeah, when during January, when we do Armageddon and our movies that were made Armageddon. When we do the movies that are the same movies, uh man, that would be a great movie.

SPEAKER_01: 19:25

Send a bunch of pirates to an asteroid.

SPEAKER_00: 19:30

Yeah. Arc, we have to drill into this asteroid arc. We must find the asteroid booty.

SPEAKER_01: 19:38

They were space pirates. They had a gun. Why did they have a gun, Jesse? Okay, well, let's wait on the game. What were they expecting to shoot out of there?

SPEAKER_00: 19:52

They're gonna shoot the asteroid. Goddamn asteroid.

unknown: 19:59

Um

SPEAKER_00: 20:01

We'll get to it. We'll get to it. Wait till January, guys. Wait till January. A few more weeks and we'll be there. So uh in August of 2017, ESPN U, I think that was like ESPN University. They just played college sports and stuff on it. Changed its name to ESPN 8, the Ocho, and they actually show obscure sporting events, including dodgeball tournaments. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_01: 20:22

I wonder if they they play like the slap fights. I mean I'm sure they do now. What do you what do you even call that? Pro slapping?

SPEAKER_00: 20:29

Dumb people slapping each other. It's like the dumbest sport ever. I want concussions forever. Yes, please. I'd like to be mentally ill. Can you break my jaw for a second? I want to be, I want to have no defense when I when I do something.

SPEAKER_01: 20:44

This is the game, like you this is the game you you invent with your friends where you're real, real drunk.

SPEAKER_00: 20:50

Yeah. I mean, it's just at least with like boxing and UFC, you can block. I mean, it's still kind of stupid at the same time, but just to sit there and just bitch slap each other constantly, it's like, what are we doing?

SPEAKER_01: 21:01

I've got an idea that one one that I witnessed at a at a party was hey, let's heat up a fork to like molten hot and brand ourselves on the arm with it. Yeah. And they were like, You're next.

SPEAKER_00: 21:13

I said, No fucking way. It's like, it's like when you get a bunch of like drunk people in a room and there's a shot collar. It's like you know everybody's gonna put it on and talk it. Because I've done that. Wow, that's amazing. Yeah, well, I mean, you just can't help it. So uh of the 32 teams in the Las Vegas tournament, 16 were identified by name or shown in competition. They are average Joast, Global Globo, Gym, Purple Cobras, Flying Cougars, Team Blitzkrieg, kamikaze, skills that kills Las Vegas Police Department, Lumberjacks, MILFs, Moose Knuckles, Clown Punchers, Multers, She Mullets, Wedgies, Yetis, and Pouncers. Nice, nice. I think my favorite.

SPEAKER_01: 21:54

You know, we had a tournament in college, and my team, we were the lumberjacks, and we dressed up as lumberjacks, and we did this like, you know, everybody like hands in kind of thing, but we did chop, chop, yeah, that's awesome. Timber, and we all fell on the ground together. It was the best. And everybody's like, they're so cool.

SPEAKER_00: 22:13

And the other half of the people are like, wow. It seems really fun to them. We were really getting in on the moment. One of my favorite lines in the movie is uh when they introduce the lumberjacks, it's like I can't remember the exact quote, uh, but it's like, these men go into the woods for eight months, chopping down trees, and and then Jason and Bateman's characters probably doing a lot of masturbation. He's so aloof. I love him. Like every time they cut to him, he's like, Yeah, his glasses on stupid. Can't see us. We can't see your face. This is a this is an audio. It's like low-key best part of the movie is when Jason Bateman shows up. It's crazy. Like now he's just like a great director and really good at everything, so it's pretty fun. So uh Peter's car being pushed to the gym at the beginning of the film wasn't scripted. The car had actually broken down on the day of shooting, and they couldn't get it fixed in time. Cinematographer, this is a wild name. Jersey Zelensky suggested the scene which Rossom Rossom Marshall Thurber calls a little found moment that better illustrates Peter's character that he than had he simply driven up. Jesus, there's a lot of weird words in that sense. Like the way that Jersey J-E-R-Z-Y. And then like Zelensky's not even really spilled like you know, the main Zelensky we know now.

SPEAKER_01: 23:35

No, but I I get that. Like you having him pull up in a car that's just going squeaky, squeaky, squeaky, squeaky, squeeze, like backfiring. I kind of like him pushing it.

SPEAKER_00: 23:46

Yeah, it's great. Yeah. It's like, man, how did you not just come up with that? It's perfect. He's just so broken down and he just does not give a shit. Why would he just walk? Yeah. It's like I just wonder.

SPEAKER_01: 23:59

But that's what I like about his character. He's so dedicated. Yeah, he's just willing to debase himself in every situation.

SPEAKER_00: 24:05

He's just such an average Joe. All right, before we get into the plot of the movie, I want you to think what the point of underdog a true wait, dodgeball a true underdog story is. Um, and if you know what the point is, send us an email at the link in the description, or at the very bottom, you can go to we recommend mailbag at gmail.com to tell us what you think, or just to talk to us because we want to hear you. I think people are just like, wow, they're just gonna keep asking, and we're never gonna do it. Until it happens, until it happens. Yeah. We got one from your mom. Is that a joke? No, we did. That was the Mars Apartment. It was great. She said we were handsome in everything. Oh. The only people that do. She didn't say that. Not even your mom calls us handsome. All right, Jason. Dodgeball, a true underdog story. So film starts off with a Globo Gym advertisement. It's a very fancy gym that has a lot of ways to get hot, even plastic surgery. Girl comes out looking like a mummy. We learned that the gym's owner used to be fat till he started to work. Here at Globo Gym, we understand that ugliness and fatness are genetic disorders, much like baldness and necrophilia. It's only your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to do something about it. That's true. Got me in the gym. I got some protein powder yesterday and everything. Hell yeah. Not really. I'm just tired of. I'm just tired of uh lifting stuff at work and just being like, this used to not be heavy. I have to start working out. It's like when did everything become so heavy? It all just hit me recently. So then we cut to Peter LaFleur getting his grundles licked by his dog while sleeping. He's the owner of Average Joe's, a small time financially unsuccessful gym with a handful of loyal members. Peter was already struggling to pay the power and water bills for his house, it seems like. Unless you're failing completely. Well, yeah, then you can do something. But if you're not failing and you're just doing all right, that's alright. That is all right. It's okay. I love that he's brushing his teeth, drinks a you-hoo, and then swallows the toothpaste and you. Yes, they are get up in whenever they like in movies when like, oh yeah, I gotta get up and get ready for work, they go, they get ready, they brush your teeth, and then they grab a cup of coffee, and it's like, why don't you just uh not brush your teeth then?

SPEAKER_01: 26:54

No, you don't.

SPEAKER_00: 26:54

Do you immediately drink coffee after brushing your teeth?

SPEAKER_01: 26:58

Yeah, you just it's gonna it's gonna be disgusting.

SPEAKER_00: 27:02

I feel like I guess because when I'm home by like at home, I usually like eat, drink my coffee, and then I brush my teeth. Uh but yeah, you know, actually now that I'm thinking about it, almost uh on every day I go to work, I brush my teeth and then go.

SPEAKER_01: 27:19

And then I would brush my teeth, and then I make sure to drink coffee so I have coffee breath.

SPEAKER_00: 27:23

Ah, gotcha. Yeah, that's great. I think what I'm pushing up against is the fact that usually it's people immediately get ready and then grab a cup of coffee and start sipping it. I'm like, you got toothpathe taste in your mouth. Toothpath. Toothpathe.

SPEAKER_01: 27:34

What about that Kesha song?

SPEAKER_00: 27:35

Wake up and wake up and wake up in the morning feeling like P.

SPEAKER_01: 27:39

Diddy. And then you brush your teeth with a bottle of jack.

SPEAKER_00: 27:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 27:44

Let's do that. Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 27:48

Just the sly pause really guy. Oh, Kesha's gonna be up on a roo. Hell fucking yeah, baby. Like I'm not I love uh TikTok. I love the song TikTok. TikTok. Uh okay. We meet our cast of characters. Oh, and a guy looking for love through voicemail dating. That is.

SPEAKER_01: 28:09

Oh my god. So that's 90s. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 28:12

Gordon, a man really exercising and kind of quirky. Um, and he also watches weird sports, which he will be the reason we get into Dr. Bond. I kind of love weird sports. I would be Gordon's best friend. Yeah, Gordon seems like he's my favorite character in the whole whole movie. He's a battered husband. Yeah. In terms of like being people I'd hang out with in this movie, it'd be Gordon, then Vince Vaughn. Um, we see Justin, who uh played by Justin Long, which is fun uh name there. Justin who struggles to work out and wants to get fit because of a girl from um because a girl who uh landed big old girl that landed on his face during uh cheerleading uh tryouts.

SPEAKER_01: 28:52

He is cheerleaders are like those types of cheerleaders. They are athletes. Yeah, they're really strong. And he was that girl. It was not his fault. He didn't make the team. Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 29:03

The fact that he looked at her, um, and by the way, it's it's the girl from all that. I don't know if you remember, yeah, it's that girl.

SPEAKER_02: 29:09

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 29:10

But she's like always in a jacuzzi. Wait, no, that's her and workaholics. I can't remember what her character was, but she was one of the funniest people in all that. Yeah, she's great. Yeah. Um, but yeah, and he like tells Vince Vaughn's characters like, yeah, I'm trying to get strong so I can be a cheerleader. He's like, mm, what?

SPEAKER_01: 29:27

Yeah, that's one of the things I didn't uh didn't care about. He because he's like, You want to be a cheerleader so you're not a loser? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 29:34

He's like out of here. What are you talking about? Like he's just gonna be hanging out with popular people. Yeah, he's gonna be throwing girls in the air. That's the thing that you can kind of tell that this movie is uh kind of written by uh just kind of assholes, probably, right? Because like everything they make fun of now, we're all like, I don't know, it's kind of cool, honestly. It's not that big of a deal. Um that's the 2000s for you. Uh but my favorite part is that because he's trying to impress a girl named Amber. Um, that's a head cheerleader, I guess, and she has a douchebag boyfriend, Derek, and I can't wait to get to what happens to him. Um uh the grossest part of this is when she'll say they land in like a 69 position, and then she gets up and there's a suction noise. It's like gross, dude. Uh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wild. Um, and then we meet Steve the pirate who thinks he's a pirate and uh he is short on money, but he will split his buried treasure with Peter when he finds it. Yeah, he just gotta get his his sweat on. Alan tuning, dude. It's great. I anytime like people, um, Ben Stiller's character does it a lot where they're like they start talking and then they're like, uh like whenever Ben Stiller's like, I'm white. W-H-I-T- U-E. But Steve the Pirate does it too. It's like, you know, I'll get you my buried treasure when I find out. It works every time in this movie. It's great. So Peter meets attorney Kate Leach, who informs him he defaulted on the gym's mortgage. This is also Ben Stiller's wife, that they got a divorce and I think they're back together, or they got back together and then no longer live together. Yeah. Something like that. Um, which is really sad because I really like that they were together. They're really short together. Yeah, it's great. It's wonderful. I think she's telling him. It's good. Actually, I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_01: 31:25

No, like she always plays this type of character, though, like in this movie and then in um Grandma's Boy. Zoolander. Basically, this in Zoolander. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 31:34

Uh yeah, she's always like the straight woman, um, except in this movie. Which is wild. And because she was in all those movies, like from the 2000s that I loved, I also had a really big crisp on her when I was younger. Yeah, she's cute. Yeah. So she informs Peter he defaulted on the gym's mortgage. It is purchased by his rival White Goodman, a fitness guru and owner of a successful Global Dream, and it's right across the street, and it's ginormous and ugly. That sucks. Unless Peter can raise$50,000 in 30 days to cover his mortgage, White will foreclose on average Joe's and demolish it to build a new auxiliary parking structure for his members. Uh so attorney Kate Veach is working on the transaction on behalf of the bank who has the mortgage. Kate is all auditing Peter's financial statements and also facilitating the sale of the business to White in case Peter is not able to settle the accounts in time. And that is the setup of the movie. So conveniently. Yeah. Um, so then Peter goes over to uh Globo Gym uh and it cuts the white and Michelle, and they're doing they're they're doing squats, but it looks like Michelle's just like doggy solid. Why? Um they're like just like, yeah, they start like slapping each other's butts and everything. It's great. Um, and that's love all the twitchy little movements Ben Silly does. And then uh Peter comes in, he's like, Hey man, don't do this, whatever. And then Ben Sillery's like super mean to him.

SPEAKER_01: 32:59

Well, I love what he says. Um, I'm gonna demolish that building, and I hope you and your friends are inside of it when it happens. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_00: 33:07

So good. So well, we learned that like white is Pete uh livid with Peter for sleeping with three of his trainers, and Peter's like it was one night, and um uh yeah, there's also another line. It's like, I've got shareholders, you don't even have cup holders. He's like, Why do I need cup holders? I love it because White Goldman's constantly just saying the stupidest stuff, and everybody's like, What are you talking about? He's like, just forget it. Um, and so white is proud that his gym is worth four million. Average Joe's not even worth four dollars. Uh Peter tells his loyal employees that he may be uh White Goldman may be taking his gym. Average Joe's employees, Dewy Owen and Steve the Pirate, Justin and Gordon, try to raise the money needed to save the gym. Justin rallies everyone behind the cause of saving the gym after the gym is like a second home to him. Why don't we just play in Canadian? It's like then like he tells them like the price of uh what it would be for Canada.

SPEAKER_01: 34:10

How are we gonna raise$120,000?

SPEAKER_00: 34:13

You don't add them together. Um and like at this point, Peter's just like, ah, it didn't work out, whatever. Let's end it. And everybody's like, no, we have to. So they decide to do a car wash. Yeah. Um and it cuts to like girls in bikinis, they're all like rubbing their boobs in the cars, and it pans over, and you just got all the guys in like speedos and tight shorts and stuff. Um, and it doesn't really work, and nobody's going to him except one guy with a truck accused making Justin clean it with his bit board just like growling at him like rubbing his belly button. Yeah. Oh, yep. Uh hopefully someone walked him home. Um, so dejected, they go back to the gym where they uh find a cutout of white good men trying to get people to their gym. The Terminator eyes. Yeah, it's great. Because I learned they have cameras. Uh Peter is defeated and wants to celebrate the ending of Average Joe's. Uh, you got the beer bit where it's like throwing throwing beer to people. He throws it at Owen, just completely doesn't look at it. Throws it to Justin, like hits his hands. Oh, it's so good. Um but Gordon comes up with an idea to play dodgeball because he reads pamphlets about weird things. They have a magazine. Yeah, they have a tournament uh where the winners win$50,000. Classic sports movie where they have exactly the amount. It also happened in Hot Rod. Nice. Um, everybody's excited except Peter, but he's in because they had him at Blood and Semen. Because I think it was Dwight, I think said, wow, we could sell uh no, it was Steve the Pirate or somebody.

SPEAKER_01: 35:50

It was it was Dwight the Oh yeah, it's like we could sell Blood and Semen.

SPEAKER_00: 35:53

Not mixed together. They're like, so he's like, oh it's like not mixed together. So uh we cut to White Goodman shocking himself every time he tries to eat a donut.

SPEAKER_01: 36:04

Veach goes to Steve. He also takes a carbo, what does he call it? A carb laxative.

SPEAKER_00: 36:10

Yeah, he's like, Do you want a carb laxative? He's like, no, I'm full up on those right now. Oh my god. Just like shit all the carbs out of me. I don't know. Um, and then yeah, Michelle comes in saying, Hey, uh, Kate Veach is here. He's like, oh, hold on a second. So he pumps up his like crotch pump or whatever.

SPEAKER_01: 36:29

His Swedish made Peterson Largement pump.

SPEAKER_00: 36:31

And then he runs upstairs, grabs a book, a dictionary, comes down, he's like, Oh, I didn't realize you're gonna be here. She's like, You called me here. It's like, oh uh, it's like, sorry, I was just doing some light reading. He's like, Are you reading the dictionary? Why would you have a dictionary at the gym? Yeah, um, hold on. Uh, what's her name? Uh instiller's ex or current little wife? Christine Taylor. Um, so I know that we say like she plays like the same character every time, but she's like a she's perfect at it. Yeah, she's really good. Her little like sideways looks and stuff like that, uh, she crushes and she does it in Zoolander and all of them, and she's great at it.

SPEAKER_01: 37:09

Uh so I wonder if it was like felt really good to slam Ben Siller's head into the water.

SPEAKER_00: 37:15

Oh God, you know, that's like one of my favorite scenes of the whole movie. Like nothing but good one-liners from Ben Siller and that. Um they go sit at his desk and he's like, Oh, do you like that painting? It's like uh it's a painting of me taking down this bull. Um it's like you know, it's uh symbolism for metaphor for me taking the bull by the horns. That really happened. That actually actually happened. That's actually a real painting, and they just photoshopped uh Ben Siller's head on it. Yeah, it's actually a real famous painting. I would have that painting. Yeah, uh I wouldn't have been still looks fucking insane. Everybody's so ripped in that painting. Yeah. Even the bull. Especially the bull. So um he thinks he is her boss. Um, and she's like, You're not my boss, I work for the bank. He's like, Yeah, and the bank works for me, so you're my boss. Um he says, I am white. I'm white. W-H-I-T-E-E. He hits on her and wants her to join the gym, but also kind of date, uh, White Goodman. There's no reason we need to be shackled by the uh structures of employee, employer relationship, and you're sh unless you're into that sort of thing. In which case, I got some shackles in the back. I'm just kidding. But seriously, I got him. Oh, he's so good at that. He's so good. This is making it awkward. Yeah. So she declines and actually enjoys average Joe's better. He loves Kate uh because she has a personality. Or but he he does his air quotes throughout the movie. He's like, although, you know what I love about you, Kate? You have a personality. Um, White Goodman, we should mate. What? Date. We should date sometimes socially. Go out and kick it. Uh oh. Uh, are you okay? Uh Kate like kind of wretches and vomits in her mouth. Kate, I'm fine. I just do have a little bit in my mouth. White Goodman. In some cultures, they only eat vomit. I've never been there, but I read about it in a book. I like to think everything Ben Stiller said in here was completely improvised.

SPEAKER_01: 39:12

Oh man, I don't know. It is so good.

SPEAKER_00: 39:14

I'm just like, how do you find a way to like like that's something so frustrating to me is in comedies when you know it's like with Tim Robinson and Ben Stiller and Vince Bond, they like find ways to say sentences that I just don't ever think about whenever I talk, unless I'm just naturally doing it. But the way that he's just like, I have an idea of how I'm gonna structure the sentence, like you know, the way he rattles it off. It's like so funny. Um, cut to Uber American Instructional Films, a dodgeball teaching film. We meet Timmy Timmy, who learns that opioid addicted men from China created by using heads of people. Totally cool. Totally great. Also, I love when we meet Timmy's painting a fence and like they it's like, stop using that lead based. Paint. It like cuts too, and it's so funny, and that's why everybody was a serial killer in the 70s.

SPEAKER_01: 40:04

Because my house was built during that time.

SPEAKER_00: 40:06

I wonder if my house has lead paint. Well, I'm sure someone had to like repaint over it. I do sometimes wonder because this was built in the 60s. I'm like, I wonder if they just covered up the paint or if they ever went.

SPEAKER_01: 40:17

Most likely, yeah. It's hard to scrape paint off the wall.

SPEAKER_00: 40:19

Probably why we get headaches in this house. And we all become serial killers. Nice. So then we get the basic rules of dodgeball. Six people and six balls. You get hit, you're out, you catch the ball. Uh the player who threw the ball is out, and you get to bring a teammate in. Uh dodgeball is a sport of violence, exclusion, and degradation. Remember to pick the biggest and best players. Remember the five D's of dodgeball. Dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge. God, this movie was really just like, let's have people say things and not know where they're going with them. Yeah, I'll and I'll break everything.

SPEAKER_01: 40:52

Is he supposed to be a pilot from World War II? Uh seems like it.

SPEAKER_00: 40:56

Because he's wearing the bomber jacket and everything. Um, and that actor is great. It's Hank Hazaria. It's he's always funny.

SPEAKER_01: 41:03

Yeah, he's he's acted in, he was in uh something about Mary with his giant teeth. Oh, he's so funny.

SPEAKER_00: 41:09

He's in a lot of friends episodes. He's like one of like Phoebe's long-lost love. Um so Gordon signed them up for regional to qualify for the tournament. Peter goes to his office and find Kate's Beach going through his tax documents. Peter hasn't received any membership money in 13 months. He says if he doesn't have any goals, then he won't be disappointed if you don't reach it. And she's like, Oh, that's great. That's good advice. Good advice. Um, yeah, Peter, come on, you gotta get some money for people. You have to take membership. Like, maybe after a month or two, it's like, all right, you fuckers. It's time to give me some money. So we see that White put cameras in his cutout of him. He sees that they are trying to win money through dodgeball. So they go to their first dodgeball match. We meet uh Gordon's new wife, who is a male order bride, and we meet the team they are facing. It's a Girl Scout troop troop, and they are mean. Uh fun fact that um I immediately recognize when watching this movie is that so there's uh a wrestling group that was in the 90s and 2000s, uh called the Hollies. Uh like you had like hardcore Holly, Molly Holly. Tell them, yeah, this music is their theme song. Really? Yeah, and I was like, holy shit. That's wild. I always I completely forgot about that, and then I was like, as soon as it popped up, I was like, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 42:29

Were they also Girl Scouts?

SPEAKER_00: 42:30

No, but uh man, they were pretty good at wrestling.

SPEAKER_01: 42:36

I love how the word Girl Scouts like a mustache. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 42:40

Parkour Holly had the Alabama Salam and it fucking rolled, baby. Nice. So they go to the dodgeball. Oh, already said that. The game starts, and the Girl Scouts whoop their butts because average shows are very bad. Um, I love it. There's because they knock everybody out pretty quick, and it's just like Peter and by himself, and he hits a girl right in the stomach. She falls like, ow! It's like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Are you are you okay, honey? It's like, why would you hit a girl? And then they like smash dodgeballs in them to and like they walk away and they like stick their thumb out or like flick them off camera. Remember, it's like, you know what? You're adopted. Your parents don't even love you. Uh turns out though, during a random drug test, one of the Girl Scouts was actually juicing and they are disqualified. Uh, she was filled of uh steroids and uh low-grade beaver tranquilizer. So average Joe's gym is the winner and move on to the tournament. Oh, good for them. You see, like if the Girl Scouts were only competition, I think we'd crush them, Jason. Just me and you alone. I don't know, man. They're mean. I'm good at catching balls.

unknown: 43:38

Wink.

SPEAKER_00: 43:41

So later at the bar, they celebrate and Kate comes to support. Peter hits on her, and Kate obviously likes him a little bit. Um, but then White shows up. Peter, I didn't realize the Nazi class let out this early. Did you skip arts and craft? White, yes, I did. Uh White is pissed uh with Kate because Kate is with Peter. Um, she's off the clock. Well, good for you. And the clock. He tells Peter he also joins the dodgeball league. We meet his team, Blade, Laser, Blazers. So good. That's like me naming characters when I was younger in my uh uh in my like wrestling games. It's like Frank Tankerson like stuff like that. So stupid.

SPEAKER_01: 44:31

Yeah, they're supposed to be like the uh the gladiators, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 44:35

Yeah, pretty much. And also Michelle and Franz Delanakovich. Yeah, she's a beast. He's great, love her. She falls in love with Owen. Can't wait. Owen's in love. And she is the deadliest woman on earth with a dodgeball. And then, like they do, they're like, all right, let's go.

SPEAKER_02: 44:53

Yes.

SPEAKER_00: 44:55

I'm gonna have to put a DSer on this episode. Um, and then I love it because uh it's been stiller. Go ahead and make your jokes, Mr. Jokey joke maker, but let me hit you with some knowledge. Quit now. Save yourself the embarrassment of losing with these losers in Las Vegas, LaFleur, Peter LaFleur, alliteration aside, I'll take my chances in the tournament. White Goodman, yay, you will take your chances, Peter. I know I just said that. White, I know you just said that, Peter. Okay, I'm not sure where we're going with this. Why? Well, I'm not sure where you're going with this, Peter. That's what I said. White, that's what I'm saying to you, Peter. All right, white, touche. I mean, that's this fucking comedy goal. It's like a perfect line of dialogue lines of dialogue.

SPEAKER_01: 45:42

Yeah, they're in middle school still. It's like they went to they did go to middle school together. Yeah. And they're may have been friends at first, but then he became the bully.

SPEAKER_00: 45:49

Is there anything funnier than watching grown men be children? I think so. It works every time. Every time. So uh Patches O'Hullihan outside the bar tells Peter he has to hump dodgeball into submission. And he just pretty much says, uh, I'm gonna be your coach.

SPEAKER_01: 46:06

So he's supposed to be from uh goddamn it.

SPEAKER_00: 46:11

You said the Air Force or something?

SPEAKER_01: 46:13

No, no, no, no. He but like back to like making fun of movies, he's supposed to be Lieutenant Dan, right?

SPEAKER_00: 46:19

Oh yeah, essentially, uh do you know who uh who this is? I can't remember his name. Uh he's uh Zed, Men in the Black. Yeah. It's ripped torn. And he's also uh the dad and Freddie got fingered. Nice. He's the guy yelling at Freddy. Yeah, he's amazing. Daddy, do you want some sausage? When do we do that? Where's my LeBer and Freddie? I mean, do we do that movie soon? I hope so. I'm a farmer. Maybe we should re-watch it and make sure it's actually funny, right? And it's not just something we quoted as children. Or do we just go uh go into without uh Patches says he's gonna be their new coach. So training day, Patches make them dodge wrenches, because if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball. Uh just chucks them at them, just rolls around on the ground in pain. Is it necessary? Uh is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? It's like, what? No. But it's sterile and I like the taste. It's like if you just said it's sterile, it's not funny, but the likes of taste is what really nails it. Uh so they train by doing the five D's. Uh, they practice catching balls. Peter is good while everybody else sucks, but they start getting better. Makes them dodge traffic because if you can dodge a car, you can dodge a ball. And they're running a lot. Gordon gets run over. Uh Justin just constantly gets pelted with balls. Gordon sucks at throwing a ball. Patches tell him to be mean, but Gordon is not a mean person. Then Patches punches him in the ball. Then we see Kate Veach. Softball champion. This is eight times softball champion. Uh, she's amazing at dodgeball. She has a great underhand throw. Um, she played softball for eight years. Dwight says she has to be a lesbian. Peter's like, there's no way she's a lesbian. Uh they try to get her to join the team, but she says she can't because it will conflict uh uh because it will be a conflict of interest. Come on, Kate. Time to put your mouth where our balls are. Um then we cut to White shoving pizza in his crotch because personal reflection period. Michelle shows him that Kate is throwing dodgeballs with average jokes.

SPEAKER_01: 48:24

I love how they printed off pictures instead of just showing him videos. Yeah, I know what are we doing with Michelle?

SPEAKER_00: 48:31

Uh he says he will just have to woo her faster than what nature was intended. Um, there's no resisting when White Goldman puts on his shiny shoes.

SPEAKER_01: 48:41

Oh my god. I love his outfit. Yeah. He's horrible.

SPEAKER_00: 48:44

And this is kind of like this is kind of like the best part of the whole damn movie. So he goes to Kate to woo her. How do you know where I live? It's called the Freedom of Information Act. The hippies finally got something right. He tells her that he finds her, uh, he fired her so they can date. He told them that she was stealing and drinking on the job. That's so fucked up. I know. She tells him to get off her porch. I can get real naughty, freaky like. Peter shows up just in time, telling him to go away. Yeah. When Wright tries to touch Kate in the face, she slams his head into the wall. It's like, it's over, Kate. No one makes me bleed my own blood.

SPEAKER_01: 49:24

Nobody. Peter snaps his finger and Michelle shows up on the boat.

SPEAKER_00: 49:29

And I love it. He like walks, puts his helmet on, he's like, coughs on. So good. Puts his arms around us. So uh then uh Peter smells cookies and goes in her house, and uh her weird thing is she loves unicorns, apparently. I love her house. I love it so much. What a weird little random thing they decided to ask. Do you think like when they so they're whoever was writing this movie was just like, all right, I got all these characters. It's funny. All right, what's Kate's thing? All right, softball, lesbian slash bisexual. Oh, she's gotta have a third. She's gotta have something unicorns.

SPEAKER_01: 50:09

Yeah, and tacky, like really super tacky, like uh figures, like really figurines.

SPEAKER_00: 50:15

Yeah, little figure, like uh porcelain figurines.

SPEAKER_01: 50:20

I love them. I love when I see those in people's houses. Yeah, they're so great.

SPEAKER_00: 50:24

That's how you know, like, the way that they say, hey, this woman's weird. She either has a lot of figurines or a lot of cats. It's like every male that writes a writes a story for like a weird girl, it's like that's all they can think of. She either likes cats or figurines. She's crazy.

SPEAKER_01: 50:41

I'm really glad they picked unicorns.

SPEAKER_00: 50:44

Because cats fucking roll her by chill out. So Peter tries to get her to join the team. He gives her some coupons.

SPEAKER_01: 50:49

Like from expired movie.

SPEAKER_00: 50:52

Yeah. It's like, oh, this is uh, oh, one for a massage. He's like, Yeah, I can also do full body massages. Uh she showed she joins so she can beat the crap out of White Goodman. Hell yeah. Because he made an awful mistake by firing her. No, we got a team. And then we cut to Las Vegas. I mean, this movie just immediately gets us to the dodgeball. It's great. Um, the show will be aired on ESPN 8, The Ocho. If it's uh almost a sport, we got it here. Our commentators are Cotton McKnight, Pepper Brooks. Hilarious. Um, and we learn that average Joe just has to win five games. We have a bunch of stereotypes in the games. You got like Japanese people, they're the kamikaze, uh, the Germans that split scree. You have like a group of African Americans, their like skills that kills all spellboards. They're just dancing.

unknown: 51:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 51:41

So good. How do they even get past the first round? Um, Owen got everybody some uniforms, but it's a bunch of BDSM costumes. Their uniforms got uh switched with the BDSM punks. I couldn't tell if they're punks or BDSM people. They're definitely BDSM. And it's time to play.

SPEAKER_01: 51:56

You must be daddy.

SPEAKER_00: 51:58

I love that. So uh we cut to the match. We have dancers starting off the show because like everything Yeah, like in basketball. Yeah, like everything in the 2000s always had like uh women in skimpy clothes dancing. Yeah, like everything in the 2000s. I mean, I'm sure they have it now. I mean, they still have like ring girls and stuff, but it just felt like even like in wrestling, they always had like uh in WCW, they had the Nitro girls because they always come out and dance sometimes. And it's like, what are we doing here? Every why did everything have like a dance theme at the beginning? Yeah. Um so we have Average Joe faking off against the Blitzkrieg. They come out in their BDSM gear. Pepper, that's rad. The whole crowd goes quiet. And then it's Pepper again. I feel like I'm watching a chair video, Cotton. Um, and I love that so they come out, but Owen has the little like the ball in his mouth. It's not even a ball, it's like a what do they use it? The bride, the bride, uh bridal. Bridal, yeah. When he's got in his mouth when he's come out, you don't have to have it in your mouth. Um I think he liked it. And then I love that Peter has it and he's got the collar and says daddy. So funny. So uh match starts. Everybody's getting eliminated immediately. It's only Kate alone. She's able to take out a couple and then catches a ball, uh ball and brings Peter back in. He doesn't have any balls, Cotton. And it's shocking, but they win. And it's uh Cotton says, Whoa, they won. It's shocking. And Pepper, I'm shocked. I feel shocked. Um, and then David Hasselhoff yields at the Germans, classic, classic David Hasselhoff. They're all like worshiping it. I want to know how many movies in the 2000s David Hasselhoff just randomly appears in. That was like the biggest joke in the 2000s, like, oh yeah, David Hasselhoff walked up to the show.

SPEAKER_01: 53:46

Because he was the German pop star. It's so wild. Have you ever seen his music videos from Germany?

SPEAKER_00: 53:51

I think so. They're pretty awesome. But I mean, it's wild. It's just like really all I know him from, other than the fact that I know like he has like music videos and music and stuff, is Baywatch. And I'm like, man, he was it's wild how popular he was. Yeah. Until like people were like, until all these people that watched Baby Watch as a kid were like, I fucking love David Haskall. Let's make him be in a cameo in every movie. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 54:17

Because he's a joke now.

SPEAKER_00: 54:18

And then he got replaced by uh Neil uh the uh space guy. Neil deGrasse Tyson. Yeah, Neil deGrasse Tyson all of a sudden started popping up in every comedy, and people were like, like Zoolander 2, Neil's just like there in it randomly.

SPEAKER_01: 54:32

And it's like, why did why did we like I I didn't see Zoolander 2 because I was like, why did they make a Zoolander 2?

SPEAKER_00: 54:40

And you know, that movie is terrible, but the uh it really just isn't that funny. But Kyle Mooney, uh I think he's like the bad guy in it. I can't remember, but Kyle Mooney was on SNL. He's like one of my favorite cast members of like uh he's he's gone now. Um off the show, not dead. But he was like my favorite cast member, and he's so good in the movie. It's almost worth watching just to watch Kyle Mooney because he's like an asshole, but he's so nice. And it's just weird. It's weird. He just does his bit, which is like this weird, weird, like uh socially awkward guy, but I don't know.

SPEAKER_01: 55:17

You just this is going nowhere. Just look up Kyle Mooney bits.

SPEAKER_00: 55:21

Um, so and Average Rose gives their uniform back to the BDSM Tim their team. There's like an old man there, and like he walks up to him, you must be daddy. Definitely. So uh Patches tells Peter he's a hell of a player and a leader. He asks if he wants to sleep with some hookers with him. Justin runs into Amber, a girl he likes. She is there for a cheerleading competition. Her boyfriend Derek is a dick. And he's like, Come on, let's go ride the roller coaster. And then Dwight's like, I mean, and they're all kind of like, I'm sorry, he's an asshole. It's like, yeah, Dwight's like, maybe he'll like ride the roller coaster and fall off and break all of his bones. Owen's like, everybody's like, Jesus. He's like, that happens, that can happen. And then it does. I wonder if that'll come back later. So it's day two. Average Joe is playing the lumberjacks. It's like, they haven't touched a woman in eight days. A lot of masturbation cuts. They play much better this go around and easily beat them. Globo Jim easily defeated the kamikaze. Um, next, Joe's matches against Skills That Kills. Skills do more dancing than playing, and Joe's win. Globo beats Las Vegas PD. So in the semifinals, Joe's are Oh, they should have brought in uh Reno 911. I know that would have been really funny. I would have screamed if that happened. Um, so uh average Joes are playing the flying cougars, they are struggling against them. Uh I can't remember what is it? Gordon gets hit in the balls or Justin does somebody, and it's like, and uh Cotton says something, it's like, ooh, that's gotta hurt. And then Pepper, ouch town, population you, bro. Oh no, so like Gordon's the last one. So it's Gordon versus the whole team. Gordon calls timeout, patch it patches tells him to get angry, and he sees his wife flirting, and then he's and then like his kids looking at him look just like him, and he snaps. He demolishes the whole team. Yeah, they win and they're going to the finals, baby.

SPEAKER_01: 57:15

Oh god, over the top. They whenever they get hit by the ball and they just fly backwards.

SPEAKER_00: 57:21

Yeah, like in the very last dodgeball throw at the end of the movie, so good.

SPEAKER_01: 57:25

Yeah, but like he the Gordon hits that one guy and he spits out a bunch of water.

SPEAKER_00: 57:29

I mean, but it does hurt when you get hit in the face with those. Yeah. I'm surprised they didn't put in like that was like always the rule when playing dodgeball, you're not allowed to hit him in the head. But it happened all the time because it's like, hey, we're children. It's hard to aim. Um except for me, because I'm so good. So they are celebrating. Um, and Patches, obviously. Irish, it's like, oh man, they must have the luck of the Irish. So they go to a place called the luck of the Irish, and they all keep saying how important Patches is. And without Patches, they can't do this. And then Patches has a sign fall on him and he dies.

SPEAKER_01: 58:03

That's the luck of Irish.

SPEAKER_00: 58:06

It's like Peter's like, but no one expected Patches to die from a falling ironic sign. Uh the team is down in the dumps and they think they can't win without Patches. Peter goes to his room, all bummed out, and like Kate's all like, oh, you gotta really pump up the team. And he's like, I don't even know anymore. So he goes to his room and White is waiting for him. White bribes Peter with a hundred thousand dollars for his gym. He reveals the money, and he's like, you know, movies don't really uh movies really exaggerate things, opens the case, it's like one stack of like the what 10 10 bills, essentially. That's like a hundred, one hundred dollar bills. It's uh it's so funny. Opens the case, it's such a good bit. Um he asks him to sign the contract and then the scene cuts away. What will he do? So the gang looks for Peter for some inspiration, but Peter is down in the dumps and doesn't motivate them and only makes it worse. He then tells Steve, the pirate, that he is not a pirate. He's like, er. Alright, he broke his little pirate heart. And now it's time for the darkest part of the movie. Owen sees Fran Fran at the bar and goes to talk to her while Steve does some soul searching on the streets and gets uh takes off his like bandana, his uh little uh do-rag bandana, whatever they call him, um, and then looks in and then gets a gets a slushy thrown on him, and it's uh it's a really rough time and tears were shed. But it's finals night. Maybe Kate goes to see Peter, she doesn't find him and sees he's checked out because the TV said thanks for checking out. I don't know. Why would the TV have to say that if they already checked out? I don't know.

SPEAKER_01: 59:38

That's just what it you know 'cause you can check out using the TV. Oh, you can? Yeah, and like Las Vegas is crazy. Well you can y we did it at Disney World. Disney World's crazy.

SPEAKER_00: 59:49

Amber runs into Justin, tells him that they need him for the competition competition because Derek fell out of the roller coaster and broke every bone in his body. Somewhere Dwight's like, I knew it. He made a wish. Yeah. She asks him to join the squad and agrees, but doesn't tell his other team. Peter's drinking at the bar. Um, and this he sees on the he sees on the TV uh Cotton and Pepper talking, and they're uh Cotton says something, and then Pepper says, I spoke with to White Goodman. He says his team really wants to win. And Cotton just kind of like, okay.

SPEAKER_01: 1:00:22

Yep. Their absence is noticeable. Yeah. Cotton.

SPEAKER_00: 1:00:27

The team is worried, and Cake takes the lead. Steve the pirate and Justin aren't there, so they are they are too short since Owen is subbing for Peter. Owen didn't know Steve was a pirate, we learned. Who's Steve the Pirate? It's like the guy that's been a pirate with us the whole time. We've had a pirate. Uh Justin does a great job at cheerleading comp and runs off for the match, and Amber's like pondering, oh, I think I love him. It's like literally a nothing storyline. It's ridiculous. But it does lead to a great line later. Peter watches the game at the bar and then Lance Armstrong shows up.

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:01

He's a before Lance got cancelled.

SPEAKER_00: 1:01:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:04

Or Lanceled. And he's like not even really that canceless. He just used like steroids. Yeah, he cheated real hard on the Tour de France, which he won like seven times. Oh, he didn't have he cheated every time.

SPEAKER_00: 1:01:15

Well, he had like three cancers.

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:18

So what?

SPEAKER_00: 1:01:18

It's like, geez, let the guy up. He probably is like, hey, he's a cheater. Well, I mean, I guess he probably had like so much chemo, you know, let him get a break a little bit, you know?

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:27

No, no. We're not running a cherry.

SPEAKER_00: 1:01:29

You know what? He's just fucking riding a bike. It's not that big of a deal, guys. So he's a big fan of Pierre.

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:34

Are you kidding me? The tour de frost is huge, especially in frost.

SPEAKER_00: 1:01:38

Yeah, well, I have a bicycle too. Don't see me ride it for seven days. No, I'm kidding. I mean, it does. I just remember when that came out and I was a little younger, and I was like, well, I don't know. He probably needed help getting into shape because, you know, he had poison in his veins for like years for having cancer. Not an excuse. Let me get a break. Not an excuse. I also don't know enough about it. If you're listening, Lance, fuck you. That's true. And also don't know enough about because I was like, well, yeah, if he used steroids like right after chemo just to get kind of in shape and, you know, like start, but if he was doing it while racing, yeah, he was.

SPEAKER_01: 1:02:13

But I think he was doing the where he would go train and get oxygenated blood and then put that oxygenated blood into his body right before the competition so he'd have massive stamina. Is that cheating?

SPEAKER_00: 1:02:25

That just seems like that just seems like an advantage.

SPEAKER_01: 1:02:27

It's called they call it doping, but it's like blood doping.

SPEAKER_00: 1:02:30

So hey, my oxygen my I got really good blood in me. Yeah, you can't you just can't do it.

SPEAKER_01: 1:02:37

Because it makes you way better than everybody.

SPEAKER_00: 1:02:39

It's just weird. You know, like sports and like what they consider cheating is because like in football now, like if you s watch the sidelines, like before plays now, like most quarterbacks they they use smelling salts now. To like to like amp them up and like clear their head. Because you know that's what people, you know, when people like pass out, they put smelling salts because it really like wakes you up. So like now and I was like, is that not cheating? It's like every team should have I mean, because if someone's not using it, then they're not gonna have an advantage over the person using it, technically.

SPEAKER_01: 1:03:12

I've only ever had to use them whenever I was out in the army when they were taking my blood, I would get close to passing out because they have to take a lot of blood. Yeah. So they would just give me a smelling salt, and every time I get like woozy, I'd just like, uh.

SPEAKER_00: 1:03:23

I've never smelled one. Is it crazy? Very strong.

SPEAKER_01: 1:03:26

Yeah, I want to smell one. Really, really strong.

SPEAKER_00: 1:03:28

But it's just like one of those things where I'm like, all right, so it's like the NFLs is I don't know, it's so uh they're just hypocrites, like the people who make the rules. Because they're like, you can't smoke weed, but like it's not an enhancement drug. It doesn't even enhance, but then you can like use smelling Sean White at the Olympics. You can like be on the field, use a smelling salt, and throw it away, and then it's like, okay. I I don't know. Like, none of that makes sense. I don't know, man. Uh boys talking about sports. Let's get um so he tells Lance he's quitting. Um uh quit. You know, once I was thinking about quitting when I was diagnosed with brain lung and testicular cancer, all at the same time. But with the love of I don't think he wasn't it just testicular cancer. I think that's all it was. Uh but with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and I won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I'm sure you have a good reason to quit. So what are you dying from that's keeping you from the finals, Peter? Right now it feels a little bit like shame. Lance, well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't have anything to regret for the rest of their life. But good luck to you, Peter. I'm sure this decision won't haunt you forever. Crushed it. You know what, Lance, keep using those steroids if you're just gonna deliver lines that good. Because he did a good job. I thought he was like actually pretty funny the way his line delivered.

SPEAKER_01: 1:04:47

Yeah, he's fine. God, Jason. Maybe I got a big Lance Armstrong. I do. I don't know. You know, don't feel like he killed anybody. I was wondering in Austin, Texas, like that's where he used to train, like because it's very hilly. And there's they have all these giant bikes painted on the road that say like L A, like for Lance Armstrong.

SPEAKER_02: 1:05:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:05:09

Man, they must have had like go paint back over this. I don't know, dude.

SPEAKER_00: 1:05:13

Yeah, it's I I mean, I just leave him. He beat cancer. Yeah, but nobody cares. But he beat cancer. That's like a cool thing to do. Yeah, but it's not as cool as riding a bike real fast. So just know, guys, if you have cancer and you beat it, don't do steroids because everybody will hate you for the fucking rest of your life. No. The cancer thing is irrelevant. It's just like it's like, you know, it's just funny because uh my thing with steroids, right? Is that it's such a shameful thing to do, but you know, like we're cool with Arnold doing it, you know. Yeah, all these wrestlers do it, and everybody's like, oh, they're such good wrestlers. Like, yeah, but they use steroids. I mean, the rocks on fucking steroids, obviously. But yeah, we still like them. But fucking Lance Arnstrong cancer, he's not competing in a sport. Well, Arnold did, he was a like weightlifter, but they all use steroids, so I feel like it's okay at that point. Yeah, probably. It kills you. I think steroids, not a big deal. Everybody just do it. I'm not doing it though. So you y'all deal with the side effects. You could, you could get huge. Yeah, that's what I should do. Then I can lift stuff at work. So man, I didn't realize we're gonna try to just pick up a forklift. I don't know. This pisses me off. We're gonna have to get like um a little sign in here that says uh room podcast divided. Me jacked on steroids, you know. Just kidding. I just don't think anything's really that big of a deal. It's just like the guy beat cancer. We can have a little bit of respect for him, you know? Anyways, God didn't we're Lance Armstrong. Yeah, way to go, Tom. Yeah, and you know what? I respect him, even if he was doing steroids for comedy. I just want to say I am just being a little bit silly. Yes, Lance Armstrong should not have done steroids.

SPEAKER_01: 1:07:06

We didn't do steroids, I don't think. I think he just did the blood thing.

SPEAKER_00: 1:07:09

Then that's even dumber. He's got good blood, big whoops. All right, well, podcast is ending. This fucking thing's over. I'm pissed. Anyways, average Joe learns they're gonna have to forfeit. Justin shows up just in time, though. Um, but then Cotton McKnight announces that they're gonna have to forfeit Pepper. It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see how it works out for them. Favorite line in the whole movie. I say it weekly to my wife.

SPEAKER_01: 1:07:42

Who has better uh announcers? Uh Beston Show or Victoria. Dude, don't ask that damn question.

SPEAKER_00: 1:07:50

Oh no, that's so tough. I'm gonna say I'm I'm gonna say dodgeball. I'm gonna say dodgeball because I think every line that Pepper says is hilarious. And Gary uh Cotton McKnight, his name is Cotton.

SPEAKER_01: 1:08:07

He has some pretty good lines too. Yeah, it's great.

SPEAKER_00: 1:08:10

And it's like Pepper's obviously like the comedian, like comedic guy, but then uh Cotton, he's he's saying ridiculous shit, but he's saying it with such a straight face and such a such a good announcing way. It's essentially the same as I mean, yeah, they're both tied. I'll just say that. But no, I I do love uh Jason Bateman so much in this movie. Yeah, I do too. Um so while Globo Jim is about to be crowned, Peter shows up. Globo thinks it's too late, but it's up to a vote by the community. Committee, they get um they have to it goes to the vote vote committee. They have to have uh two thumbs up, and there's three people. Uh they get two thumbs up, and the last one is from Chuck Norris. Thank you, Chuck Norris.

SPEAKER_01: 1:08:56

I love this ball and gives him like the the neck chop as like a salute. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:09:01

And then Chuck Norris, thank you, Peter. So it's game time. Uh oh, and then like Peter's like, good luck, White. And then uh White, shove it up your cram hole. It's like what? Uh Peter gives him a lovable, gives everybody a lovable pep speech, pep up speech, pep pep talk, pep talk. Why do I say speech? I'm such a fucking idiot. So they line up and get ready to play. Joe's immediately loses their two best players, Kate and Peter. Brian and Owen are about to hit each Ron and Owen are about to hit each other, but they are in love and stop. And like Cotton's like, I don't know what that was about. Um they both get pelted. And then it comes down to just Justin versus four cobras. And Justin, great at dodging things now because he had to dodge a wrench. Um Justin's just dodging like a champ and catches a ball, and then Kate comes in and catches another ball, and it's a uh three-player swing, something like that. I think they said four-player swing. Justin, uh, and then Amber yells that she loves Justin and he yells back, then gets pelted with a ball.

SPEAKER_02: 1:10:11

Johnny loves Chachi.

SPEAKER_00: 1:10:14

So it's my second favorite line of the movie. Well, maybe third. I don't know. I like all the lines. So now it's Kate and Peter versus White Michelle. It's street dodgeball now. Sing white. It's another good cotton line.

SPEAKER_01: 1:10:29

The cut yeah, cotton's also like, I haven't seen anything this crazy since the Helsinki incident in 1999. Yeah. And we all know how that happened. It's like, what?

unknown: 1:10:38

What the hell?

SPEAKER_00: 1:10:39

Peter is about to get eliminated, but Kate takes a ball for him. While Kate walks away, White takes a cheap shot at Kate. It's like, well, it was an accident. I don't know. I can't hold on to these balls. And it's essentially doing the bit over like where people yell at the umpire at baseball games. Like I say, uh, Kate tells Peter to kick his ass. Now it's 2v1. Peter immediately takes out Michelle, but White takes out Peter, but White stepped on the line. Boom, boom, boom. Now it's sudden death with the really crazy skull painted dodgeball. Honestly, like this was the scene where I was like, I really want dodgeball to be actual. If this is it. Um, so yeah, it's White versus Peter. We learned the rules. You um, so there's a triangle and a ball next to the triangle. You have to stay in the triangle so you can't like run around, and everybody gets one throw each.

SPEAKER_01: 1:11:28

Um Vince uh Peter does the whole like Yoda and Luke Skywalker thing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:11:33

But before that, um, they kind of have like a they talk to each other, and White says something mean, and then uh Peter's like, why you look awfully fat in those pants. He's like really gotten his head. Yeah, really got his head. He's like touching his pants and stuff. Um another great Peter line. It's like, all right, sudden death. FA Peter looks at uh towel that Patches got him. He's so gross. I just got seen. He sees Patches telling him he can do it. Uh they each get a ball, can't move from a tie triangle. Peter puts Patch's towel over his eyes. He will not be able to see very well. Cotton sudden death starts. White takes the first shot, and Peter dodges it and quickly throws his ball, hitting White and knocking him back like he just got hit by like a cannonball or something. Yeah. Average Jones wins. Cotton McNight. Ladies and gentlemen, I have been to the Great Wall of China. I have seen the pyramids of Egypt. I have even witnessed the grown man satisfied camera. But never in all my years as a sports catheter have I witnessed something as improbable, as impossible, and what we witness here today. What was the situation? He watched the camo. So the Joes are crowned, but White tells him it's pointless because he signed over the gym to White. But it turns out he used to he used$100,000 to bet on Joe's and won$5 million. He's like, does anybody know what$50,$100,000 times five is? One guy's like$50,000? I think that was Owen that said it. It's like, what? Peter is gonna invest in the controlling stake in Global Gym, so he will own Global Gym and average Joe's white, steals a hot dog from a kid and eats it. I love it. They're just like, how do we conclude this movie? Uh oh, he's just gonna buy it because of stocks. And it's like, okay. It's like capitalism, I guess. So Steve the Pirate shows up as a normal guy, but Peter asks him, if he's not a pirate, who will he share all this treasure with? Gar Peter. Gar.

SPEAKER_01: 1:13:43

Gar Steve.

SPEAKER_00: 1:13:45

It looks like Peter and Kate are gonna hook up, but her girlfriend shows up and she's a lesbian. But actually, she's bi and then immediately goes and kisses Peter, and it's like, man. Ridiculous. This movie was definitely written by a guy who was. During the credits, we see the average Joe's is successful, and he even has dodgeball classes. We see White Fat and watching the ad, fucking Chuck Norris. Um, and then the credits roll, and then after the credits, we get White Goodman again. Yeah, I hope you're all happy now. Good guys win, bad guys lose. Big freaking surprise. I love happy endings. You know that's the problem with the American cinema. Can't handle any complexity in it, you know? Don't make me think. I just want to be entertained. All right, fine. You want a little something something for the ride? Check these boots out for size. And then the milkshake plays. Then he does a little dance, and it's like, ha ha ha, he's big person. Make me laugh. I did not know Milkshake was written by uh Pharrell. Really? Yeah, I didn't know that until I watched the credits of this movie, and I was like, oh. I don't have no idea. That's the guy that sings, I'm happy. Oh, yeah. He wrote Milkshake. Yeah, did not know that. Amazing. Pretty interesting. Way to go, Jesse. Just brought this podcast to a halt with our Pharrell talk. Boy likes hats.

SPEAKER_01: 1:15:10

Don't they play it? Didn't they play it during the car wash scenes? Yeah, they played it twice, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:15:14

Um that's dodgeball, baby. Jason, what's that point at Dodgeball?

SPEAKER_01: 1:15:20

You inspired a nation.

unknown: 1:15:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:15:23

I thought the point that no matter what you look like, you can do whatever you put your mind to, as long as the people you're facing are complete idiots.

SPEAKER_01: 1:15:30

I think if you if there's something you really want in life, you can debase yourself enough to get it.

SPEAKER_00: 1:15:35

Yeah. And even if you don't want to do something, if someone pushes you enough, you might average your way through something in a minute. Yeah, yeah. Just like school. Just like life. C's get degrees. Yeah. Boy, don't I know that. Some instances, D's aren't too bad either. Just don't get F's, guys. There you go. Do bare minimum. Do your homework on the bus on the way home. That's how you get through high school and you work at a factory, baby. We're gonna hit our next category. It's the good, the bad, the ugly, the fine. It's where we discuss the good of the film, something we like, the bad, something we didn't like, the ugly, something that a did not age well, the fine, something that did age well. What's good, Jason? Uh it's gotta be all the crazy characters. Yeah. They're the best. Also, I put it so freaking quotable in like pound for pound, one of the funniest movies. It's an hour and thirty minutes, and there's like a joke like every two to three minutes that land successfully. Hidden all the time. And I think it's great, because you know, like I don't know. It's just I was wild when I watched this to where I was like, wow, I like this more than Anchorman. And to think about how much people love and talk about Anchorman and stuff. And I'm like, why did Dodgeball not get a sequel? I'm glad it didn't, because as we know, movies that get 15 years later sequels are always not as good. And it's like you're doing the same joke, but like I see a lot of I mean, there's l there's a lot of ability in this movie to be a sequel because it's a sports movie, right? You don't have to redo all the same jokes.

SPEAKER_01: 1:17:15

I mean, but I feel like they've done it, they've done a lot of sports movies like this. You know, uh I know, I got recommending one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I think you could just pick a different sport and do it all over again.

SPEAKER_00: 1:17:27

Yeah, that's true. Like um like you could just bring like Vince Vaughn, it could be the patches character for a whole different like it doesn't have to be a gym or anything, it could be anything. It could be like a failing company, like oh we're our used car salesman. It's uh a bigger used car salesman's gonna take it, and then they just do a different sport or something. Silly. Water polo. That's what they should do. Oh man, that's so physically taxing. A lot of like I'm drowning jokes. You know, my favorite jokes, apparently. That's all I can think of. Alright, so what did you find bad about this movie? Not something that an age would, it's something that's bad. Just the bad?

SPEAKER_01: 1:18:09

I don't know. I don't really think there's a whole lot of bad. It's not really a I mean, it's just like just like the oh maybe just but the things that I kind of liked about it were were the bad things. Like how over the top they made the sport. Yeah. But I think that you know that's what makes it funny sometimes too.

SPEAKER_00: 1:18:26

Yeah, I I didn't really have anything bad. The only like just their like half-assed way of just being like, Average Joe's now owns Global Gym. I'm like, alright.

SPEAKER_01: 1:18:35

That was a weird ending.

SPEAKER_00: 1:18:37

I was just like, wow, y'all just really wanted to hurry up and wrap it up. I was like, I wonder if there's like a longer ending, but they're like, nah, let's just make this an hour 30. And I'll just do one line of dialogue and the whole talk quits.

SPEAKER_01: 1:18:47

The last line of the movie is I'm not a lesbian, I'm bisexual. Yeah, that's uh that was bad.

SPEAKER_00: 1:18:52

Well because of that, let's uh let's go to the ugly. I put all the uh shaming for every single person that exists on this planet that's a little weird, right? Yeah. And also just like people just saying bye people that are just constantly, I guess, having sex with both genders at the same time. Obviously. But you know, like they're like most people, and uh, you know, date one person at a time.

SPEAKER_01: 1:19:15

The movie was definitely written by someone who had no idea what it's like to be anything different than cis gender. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:19:24

Yeah. Pretty much it's just like, wow, uh, this movie like really thinks everybody that's not just a normal person is uh weird. But I mean, 2000s comedy, what are you gonna do, right? Go back in time and change everything. Yeah, I mean, like Tommy Boy, the whole joke was he's fat, by the way. Did you hear that he's fat? Also, David Said's bald. That's also funny, right, guys?

SPEAKER_01: 1:19:46

Yeah, it was back then.

SPEAKER_00: 1:19:48

Girls who sleep with more than one person, they're a bunch of whores. Oh my god. That's like in every comedy ever. Yeah. Um and you know what? The fine is that man, all that shaming was pretty funny. Oh man. It's okay because my my stereotype is also in the movie getting made fun of. Uh Justin. Or Justin. Also Owen, probably a little bit. I feel more like Owen most of the time. You're more frawn to me. Frawned. Thanks, man. I appreciate that. You're the lumberjacks. You look most lumberjacky. Nice. Out of all of them. My father was a lumberjack. No, I'm just kidding with the fine. It's the cast. It's honestly it's the cast and all the writing was great. It's hilarious. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. And Ben Stiller. And I mean, he just I don't know. He he wins the movie. Yeah, he was a big thing. Jason Bateman, too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:20:40

I thought the uh yeah, Jason Bateman, I don't know. That was he was a weird character for me. He said some funny stuff, but it's just I think he's changed a lot. Oh, it's just kind of weird to see him as like a side character.

SPEAKER_00: 1:20:53

Yeah, I guess maybe just trying to just being really dumb. I do oh I I forgot. I do have something to add to the ugly. Um, everything you just said. Damn.

SPEAKER_01: 1:21:05

I don't think I mean he's fine. He aged better. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:21:09

He he definitely his roles have matured. Yeah, that's what I was saying. I mean, he's only gotten better and funnier and just uh better with his sarcasm. Yeah, definitely. But it's kind of one of like the few things where he's not just being sarcastic the whole time, which is kind of a fun thing to see him. He's just kind of being dumb. He's being you never really see him being the dumb guy. He's always like the straight lace, serious person.

SPEAKER_01: 1:21:31

I feel like it's really hard to be the dumb guy and do it right. Yeah. You know, I get you.

SPEAKER_00: 1:21:36

I get you. I think you're wrong, but I get you. And I hated his frosted tips. I loved his whole look. I was thinking, okay, maybe next Halloween, that's what that's who I am. That would be an obscure costume. Yeah, people are like, who are you? I'm uh Pepper. Pepper Who? People are like, okay, cool. Pepper Potts from Iron Man? Yeah.

unknown: 1:21:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:21:57

All right, Jason. Double feature. What movie do you recommend alongside this movie?

SPEAKER_01: 1:22:02

You know, I was gonna say basketball, but I think I'm gonna do Beer Fest instead. Um I fucking love Beer Fest, and it's kind of the same thing. Yeah.

unknown: 1:22:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:22:12

But with alcohol. Alcohol, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:22:14

I've only seen that once, but that's it. I've only seen it once. I really like that movie. I remember thinking it was very funny, and that's where I learned the boot thing. Yeah, the boot. Yeah, it's like, oh, you gotta twist it because like no one could chug the boot, and it's like twist. Really? Nobody thought of that ever. Nobody thought to twist it. Um, so I am recommending the movie Balls of Fury, baby. A huge comedy with tiny balls. Um, it's great. It's uh very dumb and very silly, but I like it. It's a down and out former professional ping pong phenomenon phenom, Randy Daytona, great name, is sucked into a moelestorm when he when FBI agent Ernie Rodriguez recruits him for a secret mission. Randy's determined to bounce back and win and to smoke out his father's killer, Archfiend Fang. That's why that's a wild premise. Insane. Um, it's got Dan Fogler, who is just uh he's great and everything that he's always like a side character, usually, and he's just like really funny. He's he's um Jacob in Fantastic Beast, where to find him. He's like uh Newt's like bigger friend. Nice, yeah. Um it's kind of like you know, the best part of the movie. Awesome. I don't think I've seen Balls of Fury. Um it's really silly. I actually just remember going uh to see this in theater because there was a girl I liked in high school that invited me to go with all her friends and very awkward. Did you laugh harder than anyone? I was the only one watching the movie. Uh and then I was realized after that, I was like, I should have tried to spark up conversations. Did not date that girl. That's fine. You know what? It was also one of the worst theater experiences I've ever had. Nobody watched the movie in the entire theater. Everybody was just playing. I was like, I'm pretty sure if you had like a camera, like watching everybody in the theater, you would just see me looking at the movie and laughing. Everybody else is like on their phones talking. It's terrible.

SPEAKER_01: 1:24:14

You looking at them all pissed off and maybe shushing them every once in a while. No, I didn't.

SPEAKER_00: 1:24:19

I would try to l I did like it. I tried to listen and stuff, but it's but it also has Christopher Walken as Fang, uh, George Lopez, James Hong, Terry Cruz, uh Diedrich Badder, Vader, you know, like uh what would you do if you won a million dollars, two girls at the same time? That guy from Office Space. Yeah, uh Robert Patrick um is also in it. And there there's a bunch of other people. It's uh got a great cast, and they're all very funny. Uh Tom Lemon's in it, you know, Reno 911. We just talked about it. I'm talking about this movie way too long.

SPEAKER_01: 1:24:53

Oh, that's great. It's got a great cast. Yeah. And that's that's part of why I love Beer Fest. It's got all the Lonely Island, not Lonely Island. Uh Lizard uh Dead Lizard. Dead Lizard people. Jesus Christ, we're flicking off the rails. Yes. Uh Dead Lizard Society group.

SPEAKER_00: 1:25:19

Broken Lizard! Broken Club Dread. That's all I had to say is Club Dread. I would remember Broken Lizards. A movie that I re-watched uh earlier this year or last year, and I was a little bummed out. Kenya Kalottaberg. Yeah, uh, he's the best character in the funniest joke in the whole movie. Yeah. It's so good. Um, wow. Oh wow. That's the ending of Underdog, a true Fuck! That's the ending of Dodgeball, a true underdog story podcast, or whatever. Don't be so hard on yourself. Guys, Jason, we have a special episode coming up. Oh, wow. We are doing the best movie of 2025. Nice on this podcast. Minecraft? No. This is only in my opinion, at least. We are gonna have me. You. Whoa. Devin. Yes. Hasn't been on in a while. He's done our Saul episodes. And Dakota, our first four-person podcast, baby. Two years ago, I bought a fourth microphone, and we're finally gonna use it. I have to set it up and find it. I hope I do. Good thing we found some real sinners to get to it. Yeah, and I'm gonna have to figure out how to fit us all in this tiny room. Um, but yeah, if you haven't seen Sinners, pause the podcast and go watch it, dude. Uh seriously, it's like my favorite movies uh of the year. Nice so far. Uh, I haven't seen one battle after another, which is considered the best movie of the year. Really? Yeah, I didn't see that. Um, I didn't go to see it because it was like three hours long in the theaters, and it was only in theaters like two weeks around here because you know, um Leonardo Caprigo. Every issue I have with uh movies today. So uh studios, and it's only gonna get worse. Yay! Sinners! Let's go, baby! It's about vampires! Woo! I love the little bamboo. Seriously, gosh, this movie's so good. I I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about that middle scene. You haven't seen it yet, have you? I no, I haven't finished it. Watch it, turn it up loud. Nice, especially when it gets, oh, I wish you saw it in theaters. Me too. We'll talk about it next week. Yeah, all right. So join us next week for Sinners, baby. It's we dress up as vampires. Okay, sure. I'm dressed up as one right now. That actually would be funny. I do have some vampire teeth. Maybe I'll do the whole movie and uh vampires. Maybe I should at least like wear them just as I do the intro. So just look really like hey guys, I'm a vampire. I can't really talk to you. I guess I'm gonna be a nerdy, nerdy vampire. Yay, can't wait. Blah blah blah. Never say blah, blah, blah. Welcome to uh we welcome to the We Wack A Big Podcast. Blah, blah, blah. Was that good? Is that anything? That was amazing. Join us next week for sitters. I'm gonna end this podcast right now. Hey, leave us some fan mail. I told you earlier how to do it. There's a link in the description. There's also the email at the bottom. We recommend mailbag at gmail.com. Also, you can leave us a good review. Yeah, did you know that? You can also follow us. Have you ever seen a subscribe button? I want you to smash it. Break your keyboard. Um, and yeah, tell some friends if you got any, like us. Damn fucking nil in this ending. Uh, yeah, I'd like to thank Joey Prosser for intro and outro music. Uh, follow him on. Except Mr. Joey Prosser. That place is where people go to die. Um, uh emotionally and mentally inside.

SPEAKER_01: 1:28:55

Yay.

SPEAKER_00: 1:28:56

Um, yep. So this has been the We Recommend Podcast. I'm Jesse. Uh, we have been proud for you guys to put your mouth where our balls are.

SPEAKER_02: 1:29:06

Hi.