#110 - Malambo

Malambo: The Water Creature of Africa

Deep within the waters of Africa, stories have been told for generations of something lurking beneath the surface.

The Malambo is said to be a mysterious water creature, feared by those who encounter it and surrounded by stories of strange appearances, danger, and the unknown.

But what exactly is the Malambo? Where do these stories come from, and could there be something behind the legend?

Join us on Phantom Journeys as we dive beneath the surface and explore the folklore, eyewitness stories, and possible explanations surrounding one of Africa’s mysterious water creatures.

Is the Malambo a creature of myth… or something still waiting beneath the water?

Transcript

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SPEAKER_01 0:18

Welcome to the Phantom Journeys Podcast with your mortal hosts Max McGurke and Kid Smith. Join us as we uncover paranormal mysteries, thrilling tales and legends that scare us the most.

SPEAKER_04 0:36

This podcast is brought to you by the Alien Soda Company, your connection to pop culture and paranormal themed merch. Alien Soda Company.shop for all things out of this world.

SPEAKER_02 0:53

Hey Matt, how's it going, dude?

SPEAKER_03 0:56

Hey can, how's it going? It's going well. It's going well.

SPEAKER_02 0:59

Good, good. It was going a lot better until Dolly Pardon and Tim Curry passed away this few weeks ago.

SPEAKER_03 1:06

Yeah, that is very true. That's very true. That sucks.

SPEAKER_02 1:09

You know, Dolly Pardon. Yeah. I wasn't a big country Western star, but I remember as a kid growing up, my dad was and listening to her a lot and seeing her on Hee-Ha and some of those other shows I was forced to watch.

unknown 1:22

But forced.

SPEAKER_02 1:23

When you start listen hearing about how much of a wonderful person she actually was and what she did for everybody, and how actually she helped fund a majority of the early COVID vaccine. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Research. I mean, it's just well, United Nations. We're taking all the religious aspect out of this. Yeah. The United Nations right now needs to make her um an earthly saint. Oh, god, yes. Number one. Earthly saint, or what do they do? They they give the the monument uh was the national uh national heritage uh designation to places. They need to start doing that to people, too. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 2:06

You know what? And and she she she did an awful lot of great things in her life, especially for kids, and I think maybe either either music or books for kids.

SPEAKER_02 2:16

She did a lot of books.

SPEAKER_03 2:17

She done like she's just done a lot of really good things for kids.

SPEAKER_02 2:20

And she had a kick-ass uh amusement park too. Yeah, in Gatlinburg, Tennessee.

SPEAKER_03 2:25

Wow, I didn't know that. Hollywood. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, there you go. That's cool. So Mrs. Dolly Parton. We miss you. Yeah. Rest rest well.

SPEAKER_02 2:36

And I didn't know her know her as much. I just heard about her philanthropy um afterwards, and well, kind of like before she died. Yeah. But if you go to um the Rock Home Hall of Fame when they inducted her, awesome, awesome performance. Cool, cool. But I'm kind of I'm kind of really, really, really, really sad about Tim Curry.

SPEAKER_03 2:54

Yeah, you know, he was he was legendary. He really was.

SPEAKER_02 2:59

So my first introduction to Tim Curry, uh, as probably many people was the Rocky Horror Picture Show. So I remember uh my best friend and I, we decided we were gonna sneak out in the middle of the night, uh, take his car, and we were gonna go see the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Yeah, none of well, I don't know about him, but I had no idea whatsoever the storyline. I just knew it was an audience, I just knew it was an audience participation type movie. So here we are. We're we are like just got the driver's license, so we couldn't be more than 16.

SPEAKER_05 3:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:35

And we sneak out, take and we even you know, like rolled this car down the street a little bit before starting it. Yeah, the type thing. And we end up going to the mall, we get in, we get our tickets, and then you know, before the movie, you do what you need to do, like go to the bathroom. Yeah, and so here I am, zero knowledge to what the movie is. I just know the movie poster has two big red lips. Yeah, it says Rocky Hart Picture Show. Yeah. I walk in, and there's a guy in men's underwear or women's underwear, lingerie, and I'm like, only my parents were right, I should not be out after a certain time of night. But uh later on when we watched the movie, I've we I realized what was going on, but it's just kind of like Oh, hey, uh oh, am I in the right bathroom?

SPEAKER_03 4:20

Yeah. Oh no, you know, I I do I I remember times we went to the cinema and we watched that, and you know what, all of those people who dress up, you know, they're the nicest people in the world.

SPEAKER_02 4:33

Oh, absolutely, absolutely. We had a great time.

SPEAKER_03 4:36

We had a great time. Um we used to bring cans down to our local cans of beer down to our local uh um homo show movie theater. Movie theater. It wasn't it wasn't like an AMC or like it was just a local small one. It's gone now, anyways. But um, yeah, it was it was really fun. Really fun. Everyone interacted, there was like toast getting thrown around.

SPEAKER_02 4:55

It was just and you know, I loved him in the movie Um Legend. Yeah. That makeup job and everything. That was awesome.

unknown 5:04

Big time.

SPEAKER_03 5:05

He he had he had some really great roles throughout his life.

SPEAKER_02 5:08

Will be missed. You know who he said was the the one woman that got away? What? Miss Piggy. Uh from uh um Treasure Island, Muppet's right, Treasure Island.

SPEAKER_03 5:18

Yeah, she's the one that got away. Yeah, the little piggy that got away. Yeah. It's like Miss Little Piggy stayed at home. So Tim Curry, Dolly Parton. Yeah, there was actually a couple of other people as well. I can't remember the top of my head, and I know it sounds terrible. Yeah, you know what? I'd ask you how your week is, but it's been an absolutely crazy week in the world. Actually, a crazy month in the world.

SPEAKER_02 5:44

It's been weird. Yeah, nothing special, nothing now, nothing new, really. No, nothing new. Yeah. But you know what? We are not only a hard-hitting paranormal themed podcast.

SPEAKER_03 5:59

Oh, yeah, I can. What up?

SPEAKER_02 6:01

I'm gonna bring you a science story right now before we go to break.

SPEAKER_03 6:04

A science story.

SPEAKER_02 6:05

Uh, we I am gonna bring you the hardest-hitting science story I found this week from CNN. Okay. They've did the reporting. I'm just I'm gonna read you the CNN um article that was on their website. Yeah. The hardest-hitting science I think has been done in decades. Fountain journey science from probably even in our lifetime. This is the most scientific-based study ever. Alright. You ready? Let's hit let's hit up. Well, first of all. Yes. If you're like me, you're kind of wondering why everything in this world need to be connected to the internet.

SPEAKER_03 6:47

Ken, why does everything in this world need to be connected to the internet?

SPEAKER_02 6:50

I I have no answer for you. I mean, do I really need a refrigerator that connects to the internet so at one o'clock in the morning, if I wake up and want to know what's in the fridge, I don't have to get up and go see.

SPEAKER_03 7:03

I mean, it's convenient.

SPEAKER_02 7:06

Well, I guess, but then, you know, how do I know that some bad actor somewhere in the darkest part of the world isn't sneaking in and looking at my aches or my black tired terror h black tire heroin to put in your freezer?

SPEAKER_03 7:21

Exactly. Right?

SPEAKER_02 7:22

I I'm sure I don't have a black hair. I have no idea. So this this science story will probably the one of the remarkable research done in our lifetime has to do with some of the connectivity that things are now connected to via the wire internet. All right. So you ready? Yes. Okay. Now, before I uh read this, everybody, Matt has does no idea what story this is. I I don't. I have not shared it with him. I just thought in my head, a hard-hitting science story I wanted to share with everyone before we went to break. Absolutely. Okay, here it goes. Everyone farts. Yeah. But now everyone tracks their farts.

SPEAKER_03 8:08

Okay. I mean, uh I mean, not everyone knows, but people do.

SPEAKER_02 8:13

Now Smart Underwear is making a case for paying closer attention to what comes out of your body. Its creators said that they hope that tracking flatulence could eventually give researchers new insight into digestive health and how a person's farts offer clues about what's happening in their gut. Okay. But does it have to be connected? That's all I'm saying. Do I need to go to the internet to see? You know, anyway. How big was my last fart, Google? And how many times have I done it? And what was the composition?

SPEAKER_03 8:46

Yes. And they didn't follow through. Brantley Hall, sorry.

SPEAKER_02 8:52

Brantley Hall, the brains behind the smart underwear, and the associate professor at the University of Maryland's Department of Cell Biology and Molecular Genetics and Fart Smelling. I just threw that last part in. Said the team's ultimate mission is to help people eat high-fiber diets comfortably with low intestinal gas. Interesting. Interesting. In the United States, it is estimated that 90% of Americans don't fart. No, I'm kidding. 95 of Americans. That's an explosive. That might explain a lot of what's going on in the world. Estimated that 95% of Americans don't eat enough fiber. The nutrient plays a critical role in digestive health, blood sugar, and cholesterol regulation, and maintaining a healthy gut micro microbiome.

SPEAKER_03 9:47

Yeah, but you know what they do though? What's that? They people aren't eating enough of that stuff, so they sell us little bottles of um bio yogurt. Oh, the pipe probiotics. Yeah, so then you drink them and then you're okay. That's not true. It's not you have to eat your fiber.

SPEAKER_02 10:02

I I I I haven't drank it, but I I've been taking the pills. Fiber pills? Or just go eat trees, go eat the probiotic. Chew a tree or something, you know. But for some barking mad, eating more fiber also means more gas, especially at first. When you eat fine fiber, the gut microbes ferment it, resulting in production of gases such as hydrogen, those gases eventually become farts.

SPEAKER_03 10:32

Good. But you know what? It's probably a good thing because the we're rolling out hydrogen. We're running out of helium. Oh, helium, sorry. Okay. Hydrogen, helium is. Imagine if it was helium instead of hydrogen?

unknown 10:46

Megan!

SPEAKER_05 10:48

I don't know where that came from.

SPEAKER_02 10:53

By starting who farts more, who farts less, and how flatulence changes as diet, researchers aim to understand how microbes respond to different foods and why some people can tolerate higher fiber diets comfortably while others struggle with gas. Uh smart underwear is the first wearable designed to measure human flatulence. The measuring device is a small disc that snaps into the back of a person. Oh, they can't even make their own underwear. They have to put it in my own the underwear I already own. Oh, come on. Uh it then uses tiny electrochemical sensors to detect hydrogen, providing insights on the where's flatulence. Well, if they're only measuring fla uh hydrogen, that doesn't seem like anyway. Yeah. Results contribute uh to the human fletchless atlas. I wonder how big of an atlas that would be. Yeah. A research project has recruited people around the world to wear the smart device while also documenting every meal they eat. While it's not a medical device, researchers said that's a weird thing for researchers to say. Excuse me. While the while it's not a medical device, researchers said that technical technology could eventually have applications in medicine, including helping scientists identify early signs of gastrointestinal problems. I think that once you start getting oh my gut hurts, you don't need anything else other than Hall said the team hopes to help people who show up uh at their doctor and say, I feel bloated or I feel gassy or I feel abdominal pain. But not just relying on people's perceptions, but instead objectively measuring the production of farts. Hall said he and other researchers can do a better job understanding their own digestive issues. Interesting. Interesting.

SPEAKER_03 12:51

Oh, but there's more.

SPEAKER_02 12:53

What is that? That's the disc.

SPEAKER_03 12:55

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 12:56

I might put a picture of that on.

SPEAKER_03 12:58

It's too big, actually. Is it small though?

SPEAKER_02 12:59

Um it's about the size of a nickel. Uh there's not a universal baseline of how many farts a day is normal, partly because it varies with each person. That's also because before the smart underwear, there hasn't been an efficient way to track farts. Uh doctors would either have to rely on a person to track their own farts or use pretty invasive procedures to mutter them. There's a guy in uh LA right now who is in Glendale. He's in jail right now because he's a serial fart uh butt sniffer. Oh, I heard about that. Yeah, yeah. That's the kind of person they hire when it's on more invasive but uh there's this guy. This is what the article is. I'm just reading the article. There's this guy, he's named the King of Farts, Hall said, referring to gastriontologist Michael Levitt in his research. He's kind of like where all the fart studies come from, and he's used a very embarrassing technique to measure farts. It was rectal tubes, and it was like tubing the ass and counting farts as they came out. What? That's crazy. There's one foot two. Uh smart underwear, on the other hand, allows people to go about their days while it's any tracking their farts. It's also uh can detect sleep flatulence, which is a completely understudy. Uh a scientific topic. No one really knows how many are farting in their sleep halls. Oh my god. Uh the Human Flatulence Atlas has recently finished its second study of smart underwear users. In the first study, users were asked to wear the device for about 12 hours a day or for seven days. And the paper published in December, we'll get that one to you as soon as we can find it. Uh scientific journal Biosensors on Bioelectronics, the researchers found the average amount of farts were around 32 during the time period. Is that per day?

SPEAKER_03 15:07

Yeah, I I don't know about this now because like here's the thing the amount of Tesas or phones have exploded. What? Like you know, all these like car electric cars and audio cars that have blown up and exploded. You know what? Your fucking underwear blown up. I know it's only the size of a nickel, but like it is hydrogen. And we all know what to happen to the Hindenburg with that.

SPEAKER_02 15:32

Uh Dr. Jordan Axelrod agreed that the smart underwear could one day provide a continuous, non-evasive, real-world measure of micro bi microbial McBeta.

SPEAKER_03 15:45

Is that where it sits? It's literally over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where do you think they come out? It's on the outside of the underwear. It's like literally like it might as well be a book bug. Well, that's what the other doctor was doing. Uh microphone down there, too. Let's see. That'd be a job with a health desk. Can you can you hear this?

SPEAKER_02 16:09

I heard a fine yellow lonely. Well, I guess you would also have to study this the sound that if one would it I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 16:17

Yeah. If it was like a leg.

SPEAKER_02 16:22

I think what the push is mobile.

SPEAKER_01 16:25

Ken, let's go to a quick break.

SPEAKER_02 16:28

Let's go to a break.

SPEAKER_01 16:30

Ethan Death needs a break. Stay tuned. We'll be right back.

SPEAKER_00 16:47

Warning. Warning. Alien Soda Company has interrupted this broadcast with an important message.

SPEAKER_04 16:54

Alien Soda Company is your connection for pop culture in paranormal themed shirts, posters, mugs, art, and so much more. Alien Soda Company has the merch you've been looking for. AlienSoda Company.shop. That's Alien Soda Company.shop. For all things out of this world. Use coupon code Phantom for 10% off your entire purchase.

SPEAKER_02 17:21

Okay. Then we're back. We are back. And let's get to paranormal now. Paranormal stuff. So wasn't I, was I not was I wrong saying that I brought that we're not just a hard-hitting paranormal, that we bring the science that matters?

SPEAKER_03 17:35

He brought the science that matters.

SPEAKER_02 17:36

Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:38

So what's the story today? What is the story today? Oh, it's oh, it's my turn now. It's your turn, your own. We're going to South Africa. We're going to South Africa. Very cool. Very cool. Where about?

SPEAKER_02 17:49

Actually, I'm going to bring um this one's from South Africa. Uh-huh. And then my next story will be probably in two weeks. It'll be another South African um.

SPEAKER_03 18:00

Are you going on a world tour right now? You're in Africa?

SPEAKER_02 18:03

No, for some reason, I I found two names that sounded really cool and I started reading into and they both were from South Africa. Sounds good. So we're going to talk about a water spirit or router cryptid. It's their version of Loch Ness Monster.

SPEAKER_03 18:20

But do they have rivers in Africa? I mean, it's mostly dry, isn't it? No, no, they have some pretty good rivers. Are we talking about South Africa or Africa in general? I'm thinking of Africa. I'm sorry. South Africa's huge though as well.

SPEAKER_02 18:32

Yeah, but there's, you know, the Nile, it's the most famous one. And they got Victoria Falls, which one is called the Malambo.

SPEAKER_03 18:43

Malambo. Is that someone who's like, you know, has a Lamborghini. It's like, hey, that's Malambo. Yes. Alright. Yes. That's the secondary.

SPEAKER_02 18:53

Get away from my Lambo. When they leave the river, they gotta get in their Lambo. The Malambo is one of the more complicated supernatural beings in South Southern African folklore because it cannot readily be reduced to a single monster. Depending on the tradition and storyteller, the Malambo may be a river or water spirit.

SPEAKER_03 19:18

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 19:18

An enormous snake or serpent. And of course, a beautiful woman. Of course, why not? Then we mean think of the um one with the horse head.

SPEAKER_03 19:28

Uh this uh uh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:32

Yeah, that one. You can find it in our archive. It's the and it's easy. Sequenama, yeah. It's the one with the uh beautiful body and the horse of the head.

SPEAKER_03 19:42

Yeah. Uh head of the horse actually. If you're into girls with you know who have horse heads, then it's also been known as a mermaid.

SPEAKER_02 19:51

Okay, a supernatural creature creature associated with wealth, a dangerous spirit requiring sacrifice, or in modern cryptozoological accounts, an enormous horse-headed river monster that allegedly feeds upon human victims. Interesting. Yes. Alright. Um, let's see. Those versions overlap, but they are not necessarily all the same tradition. Academic research into social-speaking communities of the Eastern Cape describes Malambo belief as particularly strong there. In those traditions, the creature is a shapeshifter, frequently appearing as a snake, but also as an attractive woman. An attractive man or a mermaid-like being.

SPEAKER_03 20:35

So you just attractive man for the women, an attractive woman for the women. And then an attractive fish for the fish.

SPEAKER_02 20:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:43

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:45

The older stories tell of a water spirit. Water has enormous spiritual importance in a number of South African traditions. Rivers, pools, and other bodies of water can represent places where the ordinary human world intersects with the ancestral or spiritual world. In Shosha, that's XH O S A for the area of South Africa. Traditions surrounding Ukuthawasa, the spiritual calling and initiation associated with becoming an Ingwerha. Inguirha. Or Diviner.

SPEAKER_03 21:22

I'm totally not editing this out.

SPEAKER_02 21:24

That's fine. I'm going to go with Diviner. Water can play an important role. Accounts describe supernatural river people, sometimes particularly human and partly fish, inhabiting the underwater realm. Malambo fits into this broad into this broadest uh landscape of powerful beings associated with rivers and water. But the malambo is usually considerably more dangerous. The dictionary of South African English defines it as a female water spirit that commonly appears as a snake. Or woman and may require a sacrifice, including in some stories, human life, in exchange for its for its favor. Written references to uh that belief go back at least to the 1930s.

SPEAKER_03 22:15

Interesting.

SPEAKER_02 22:15

Malambo is a giver of wealth. This is probably the most important part of the tradition folklore that modern cryptid accounts often leave out. The Malambo can supposedly bring its owner extraordinary wealth if he doesn't kill you first. Well, there's that. Academic research based on oral accounts from the Eastern Cape describe the Malambo as kind of a supernatural wealth-giving entity associated with a practice generally called Ukuthwala. In this context. In this context, a person seeking rapid wealth acquires or enters into a relationship with a Malambo, which then produces money or prosperity. I really just want to Mamma Mala Lambo. Mamalalambo da da da da da da da Brainage. So I was listening to um the Saturday night safety dance a few weeks ago.

SPEAKER_03 23:16

Safety dance?

SPEAKER_02 23:17

On uh Sirius XM. Okay. It's one of their uh they're playing uh 80s uh music, but you know, but to the dance, you know, the uh extended dance versions and stuff. Oh god and I was kind of listening and doing other things and a song came up, and I don't remember what the underlying song was, because remember, and anyone out there that knows the answer to this, you'll be the hero that saves the day. There was an underlying thing where I think they were saying Daddy Baba. And I can't find that anywhere. I can't find anything on that song, and I haven't heard it since. Have you tried Git one on that? I did. I've tried AI and it brought up like a hundred things that were all wrong. I uh tried to find the playlist, couldn't find the accurate playlist for that night. So, anyone out there, you can help rid me of an earworm if you could just help me identify this song. Interesting. Anyway, um I digressed. One oral account collected in the Eastern Cape concerned a woman who supposedly opened a container and revealed a snake coiled up on top of money. Another story described a wealthy family servant opening a forbidden room and discovering an normal snake surrounded by banknotes. I would how do you have an unknown room in your house? One. And two, how do you have an unknown room in your house that a snake is living in and has all the money?

SPEAKER_03 24:45

Yeah, but is that your like piggy bank? Wait, your snake bank? Ooh. You just you have a little slot on your door and you push money through.

SPEAKER_02 24:53

Ooh.

SPEAKER_03 24:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:55

Then you gotta break down the house to get to it though. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:57

Like you do a piggy bank? Yeah. But there's a snake in there, so it might eat you.

SPEAKER_02 25:03

But that's but give or take. You gotta be fast enough to get the cash. Uh the owner supposedly receives money, possession, success, but the lumbo demands sacrifices. These sacrifices may eventually include members of the owner's own family.

SPEAKER_03 25:21

Yeah, you know what? She just disappeared.

SPEAKER_02 25:24

I don't know what happened to her. And look at all this money over here in this room.

SPEAKER_03 25:28

It's got a snake on top.

SPEAKER_02 25:31

Uh, researcher Felicity Woods summarizes oral traditions in which people seeking Uthawala uh obtain a malambo that showers its owner with wealth while j while gradually demanding increasingly terrible personal sacrifices, including loved ones, and ultimate the welfare of the owner. So underlying moral structure is very recognizable. You can have everything you desire, but everything you love will eventually be taken from you. Remember, we were talking about the crossroads, the devil in the details. Then we have the seductive Malambo. Bom chicka bum bum!

SPEAKER_03 26:09

Brown chicken, brown cow.

SPEAKER_02 26:12

Another recurring form uh is particularly interesting. Malambo can appear as an extremely attractive woman. Uh some accounts portray her almost like a siren, beautiful, desirable, associated with water, and capable of seducing men. Other descriptions give her a mermaid-like form, woman above, fish below. That's a very good distinction that they give there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:34

In my mind, I was the I was the first fish on top, woman below. I mean, that's usually that's a good question.

SPEAKER_02 26:40

But now woman on top, fish below. Well, that that changes everything.

SPEAKER_03 26:48

Thank God we're not on video. Sometimes with long hair. Oh, weird.

SPEAKER_02 26:53

See that really the fish with long hair is not weird. It doesn't that doesn't work. It doesn't work. Researchers have compared this aspect of Malambo traditions with the wider African Mamiwata. Complex of water spirits. But again, the seduction isn't necessarily sexual for its own sake. It represents temptation, money, status, luxury, sex, power. Everything the person wants immediately with no with the true cost concealed. Kotso Sethunutsa and the Malama. Then we get to one of the strangest real world figures associated with the legend. Kotso, I was hoping I didn't have to say this name again. Kotso Sutunsa, uh 1898 to 1972, was an extraordinarily famous southern African medicine man whose life became surrounded by stories of supernatural wealth. He came from relatively humble circumstances, yet eventually possessed considerable wealth and became known for extravagant displays of it. Hey, buddy, you want a quarter? I'll give you a quarter. Yeah. I want a quarter. I'm not that extravagant. I'm sorry. Uh stories circulated that Setunutsa could provide people with supernatural methods for obtaining riches. Ooh. And the creature most frequently associated with him was the Malamba. Oh yeah. You're in the wrong part of the country, but world again. Uh people told stories that everyone who set who wanted wealth could visit Setunatsa and acquire one of those supernatural snakes. I think he had his a bucket of snakes. Oh, you want wealth here. 50 bucks. 50 bucks and you had this wealthy snake. That's true. Uh that's what I would do. Oh, you want a lot of wealth? 100 bucks. Yeah. I'll get a buck, different bucket. Uh sim, some inatiation stories becomes extremely elaborate. One oral account claimed that a person seeking this power would be swallowed by an enormous snake and later disgorged alive, then pooped out alive.

SPEAKER_03 29:12

Well, like descorched, because I think scorched is like born, so descorched. Disgorged. Oh, scorged. Uh, after which would people would fear him. I'm talking over his episode. Putting him off. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 29:27

I don't think I need to read it.

SPEAKER_03 29:29

I haven't talked to a person in a week.

SPEAKER_02 29:34

Uh the 1997 Mince Lava, Minced Lava, River Panic. This is where the Malambo begins looking less like a spirit and more like a cryptid. Interesting. Interesting. And it happened in 1997. I remember. I remember back in 1997, back in the 1900s.

SPEAKER_03 29:54

I remember 1994, but I don't remember 97.

SPEAKER_02 29:56

No, 97 wasn't a very good year for him. No. No. I've mentioned, I think, things on the I'm not going to go into it at this moment. Yeah. Near Mount Alif in South Africa's Eastern Cape, people living around the Menslava River began attributing a series of drownings to an enormous creature in the water. And then unlike most folklore stories, this became serious enough that it entered mainstream South African news reporting. On April 29th, 1997, Eastern Cape Agricultural and Land Affairs Representative Ezra Sigwela reported, raised, reportedly raised the matter in the provincial legislature. A government team was sent to the immense lava river to investigate villagers' claims that a monster was killing people. At that point, villagers reportedly attributed seven deaths to the creature. A contemporaneous South African Press Association described it as a supposed half-fish, half-horse creature. Later accounts increased the number of deaths associated with the panic to nine between roughly January and April 1997. A scholarly article in the journal Folklore specific specifically refers to the South African villagers attributing nine deaths to the Malambo in 1997.

SPEAKER_05 31:20

Interesting.

SPEAKER_02 31:20

That seven versus nine discrepancy probably reflects the reporting timeline rather than necessary contradictory time contradictory stories. Seven had reportedly been blamed on the creature when officials first discussed it, while later summaries gave it the number nine.

SPEAKER_03 31:36

Interesting. And it's interesting that we do have seahorses. Because I'm thinking of my head like half fish, half horse, I'm thinking, how would that work? But we do have seahorses.

SPEAKER_02 31:50

Well that it doesn't well, it's not it's a snake with a horse head.

SPEAKER_03 31:55

But you said fish.

SPEAKER_02 32:01

Well well, that's what. Yeah. Oh yeah, half fish, half horse. I did say that.

SPEAKER_03 32:05

So would that just be like a seahorse? Or would it be your way around where it's like a centaur, but instead of a human, it's a fish.

SPEAKER_02 32:14

That would be interesting, wouldn't it?

SPEAKER_03 32:16

Half it would have to be in the water. Because it was a dice. Just easy as four legs popping up.

SPEAKER_02 32:27

Accounts associated with the 1997 episode describe something approximately 20 meters or around 65 feet long. Strip uh various descriptions gave it a horse head, a horse-like head, a long stink-like neck, a fish-like or crocodilian body with short legs. And sometimes a green glow visible at night.

SPEAKER_03 32:48

So it's radioactive. Yeah. Okay. Oh, radioactive, of course.

SPEAKER_02 32:53

Oh, so I forgot to mention at the beginning of this that it's not just a Malumbo, it's Malambo, the brain sucker. Oh, okay. I ruined the whole surprise. Uh, so why does he have the nickname the brainsucker? Well, this is generally where it really gets gruesome. Bodies recovered from the river were reportedly found with soft tissues missing from portions of the head and neck. People who believe that the Malombo responsible interpreted those injuries as evidence that the creature was feeding upon the victims. This gradually produced a particularly sensational claim that Malambo ate faces and brains. Like a zombie. Brains. Uh, hence the nickname the brain sucker.

SPEAKER_03 33:37

Brainsucker. We don't have something similar to that, didn't we? Brain suckers.

SPEAKER_02 33:41

We did the goat sucker, the chicacabra.

SPEAKER_03 33:44

Or the blood uh yeah, the goatsucker. I wonder if that has a uh correlation.

SPEAKER_02 33:48

I don't know. Anyway. We look into that. The brain sucker. Uh but the police offered a considerably less supernatural explain explanation. According to reports summarized in cryptozoological literature, the bodies had remained in the river long enough for freshwater crabs and other scavengers to consume the exposed soft tissue around the head and neck. Several retellings of the 1997 sightings say that the creature emitted a or reflected a greenish light at night. There is no physical evidence supporting that claim. However, visually it becomes one of the defining characteristics of modern Malumbo artwork.

SPEAKER_03 34:28

Interesting. You know, it's funny, they can never just be noise, can't they? They always have to eat grains or blood. You can't have just like a towel sucker. Or like a like a finger sugar. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 34:39

Or I mean that could go a lot of places, but uh yeah, you don't have uh I'm just gonna snuggle monster. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, I I have one of I have three of those. Oh, that's true. Yeah. Little pups. Those are the biggest snuggle monsters in the world. And there's nothing supposedly about them.

SPEAKER_03 34:59

I I know they're real, I touch them every day.

SPEAKER_02 35:02

Uh so the question now is could it have been a real animal?

SPEAKER_03 35:07

Yeah. Interesting. I don't know. What do you think? There's too many animals in my head right now. I've got fishes, horses, humans. Could it be real? It could.

SPEAKER_02 35:19

It really could. It's real as uh smart smelling uh fart collecting.

SPEAKER_03 35:24

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 35:26

Uh there isn't compelling zoological evidence for the for an unknown 20-meter aquatic vertebrate inhabitants of the Mitslava River. Cryptozoological references possessed various ordinary explanations, including drowning, scavenging remains, and possible misidentification of known animals. One speculative suggestion has been the African electric catfish. There's an electric catfish? It's like an electric bill, but it's a catfish that I've seen some of those in an aquarium in Tennessee. I wonder, do we have any land animals that are electrified?

SPEAKER_03 36:03

Or is it only seed-based animals?

SPEAKER_02 36:05

I can't think of one. Actually, I want to say it was something like the um platypus or something that had a mild electrical charges. Interesting. Interesting. But I could be very wrong on it. It doesn't seem like it was something like that, though.

unknown 36:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:22

I was really, I'm really happy that like rats or something don't have that. Wouldn't that be horrible?

SPEAKER_05 36:28

Get out of my house, okay.

SPEAKER_02 36:31

You can have that corner.

SPEAKER_03 36:32

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_02 36:34

Although its size fails uh falls nowhere near the enormous dimensions reported for the Malumbo.

unknown 36:42

Interesting. Interesting.

SPEAKER_02 36:44

Why is Malumbo unusual among cryptids? This is what makes it more interesting to me than South Africa's Loch Ness monster. The enormous horse-headed mitzlava river creature blamed for several deaths in 1997 and the brainsucker. Those layers are related but shouldn't be treated as though people have been consistently describing the exact same zoological animal for hundreds of years. There's where a lot of cryptid websites go wrong. They take a cultural complex supernatural being and retroactively turn it into African have reported a sixty-eight-foot dinosaur for centuries. The source material doesn't really support that. At its deepest level, the Malambo stories repeatedly resolve around a fear of unknown predator lurking beneath the familiar river.

SPEAKER_03 37:42

Well, yeah, there's always that. You never know what's lower from below.

SPEAKER_02 37:45

Yeah, you never know. Like what's what's just below where I can't see? You know?

SPEAKER_03 37:52

Yeah, that's that's a no-no.

SPEAKER_02 37:54

Yeah, or you get in there and a little tweeny minnow fish brushes up against your leg, and you could swear that it was a whale that hit you.

SPEAKER_03 38:01

I've had something brush off my leg in Australia before, and I never got back in the ocean again. Really? Yeah. What part of Australia were you? Uh uh I think it was in Geraldton, it was near Perth. Oh, it was a shark. I know. It was a megalodon. It wasn't small. It was a megalodon. Something brushed my leg, and it was like at least like I remember the what it is.

SPEAKER_02 38:26

People on the uh they're listening to us can't see you hold up your hands.

SPEAKER_03 38:29

Oh I know. It was like it felt like about somewhere between four or five inches long, hit my leg. And nope, I'm out. I don't care if it was seaweed, I don't care if it was just a tiny fish. I'm done.

SPEAKER_02 38:42

I never no really stick your head in the water and see what it was?

SPEAKER_03 38:48

No.

SPEAKER_02 38:48

No, no, no, and all of a sudden your next step is a hundred foot drop-off. Yeah, no, I'm no. Yeah, yeah. No, I think it was a shark. I think it was a shark leaked me. Do I want to eat this? Let's try. A little salty. I think I'm good.

SPEAKER_03 39:07

Unseasoned Irish.

SPEAKER_02 39:08

I think there's like a potato.

SPEAKER_03 39:12

That's okay. Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 39:15

That was a little Irish racist. Sorry.

SPEAKER_03 39:17

It's okay. We're we're a little racist. No, we're not. We're not. I was good. Oh, I was taking a drink when he said that, and and I almost drowned. We're not racist, little people, it's okay. Um so that's the Malambo. That was cool. I like that one. And then we had a really nice uh scientific learning experience.

SPEAKER_02 39:40

We are all the smarter because of it.

SPEAKER_03 39:42

There are phantom facts for today.

SPEAKER_02 39:45

I know. We're not just paranormal, we give you the facts that matter.

SPEAKER_03 39:49

We get the science right.

SPEAKER_02 39:54

Right earholes. And anytime we hear science that you need to hear about, like this one, we'll bring it to you. Exactly. We're not just paranormal. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 40:02

Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, we're not.

SPEAKER_02 40:06

Would you uh voluntarily wear that little uh disc for their science project?

SPEAKER_03 40:12

Uh I get no. I I mean, would they pay me? I'm sure they pay something. God help them, but I mean, you know.

SPEAKER_02 40:20

I don't know if I would. I mean, I don't know how much I would help because I don't do that.

SPEAKER_03 40:27

You don't fire?

SPEAKER_02 40:28

No.

SPEAKER_03 40:29

No. Ever? No. Or do you are you really see if I waited to get to like get home and go, hang on a minute? It's all days worth uh ten minutes long in the in the bathroom when I get home. I um I just crop this.

SPEAKER_02 40:45

So uh let's talk about the Malambo.

SPEAKER_03 40:48

Malambo.

SPEAKER_02 40:52

Would you take a trip to South Africa to look for the Malambo, or would you feel like I would love to go to South Africa.

SPEAKER_03 40:59

Um and I think it'd be very interesting to meet people and learn about uh to get hear their foreshand stories about like stuff like that. Um would I do it personally on my own? Probably not.

SPEAKER_02 41:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 41:11

Um you'd have to be other group. Yeah, I'm not even so much a group, but like, yeah, I don't know. I don't think I'd I'd I'm not so much a cryptid explorer like Ken is.

SPEAKER_02 41:24

If I could make a living traveling the world just looking for cryptids, yeah, I'm there.

SPEAKER_03 41:28

Well, I mean, there you go. I am there. Definitely love talking to people about their culture. Uh you know.

SPEAKER_02 41:35

If I had a choice, if someone was gonna say, I will pay you to be a professional cryptid hunter or a ghost hunter or an alien hunter, I'd go cryptid all the time. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:46

Go to killing fantastic places.

SPEAKER_02 41:50

And then I'd have a team that would be just scouring the world news so I can get there while it's actually talking. Yeah. That to me would seem like the the greatest thing. Absolutely. What about you? If you had a someone's gonna pay you to be one of those three, which would you go for?

SPEAKER_03 42:07

I think I know the answer, but probably probably ghost. Yeah, I knew it! No survey says I have more of an interest in the psychology of a mind versus like if if there was a legitimate haunting, I wouldn't be convinced until I was absolutely sure.

SPEAKER_02 42:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 42:28

So shit could be floating around the room and be like, yeah, that's really scary and cool, but why?

SPEAKER_02 42:33

I don't believe it's I don't believe it's floating until I figure out how it's happened.

SPEAKER_05 42:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:38

Yeah, got it. You know what I wanted to do in the uh mid to late 80s so badly that I was like, if someone had given me a million dollars, I would have quit everything and gone and done it.

SPEAKER_03 42:48

Gone to the 90s?

SPEAKER_02 42:49

No, well, that would happen anyway. That would have happened anyway, but I so wanted at one point to To drop everything and go to England and be the crop circle researcher, the top crop circle researcher. Late 80s, early 90s. Oh, I would have been there. I would have been there, I would have been looking at trying to figure out what made those crop circles. I'd be sitting up all night in the middle of a crop circle. I'd be sitting up on the ridges watching the crops. Just just looking at crops, waiting for them to lay down, you know. Crops lay down. Lay down, lay. They'd probably call me the scarecrow. I'd be up there so much looking watching the crops.

SPEAKER_03 43:33

I'd I threw my sorry, I threw my phone on uh loud because you were coming over. Me lower. Lower me, fowin. A little bit.

SPEAKER_02 43:43

So No, I would have done anything for that.

SPEAKER_03 43:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:46

Okay, that's interesting. That's interesting. I'm just saying. Yeah. That's cool. That's interesting. And I I l I think we should definitely investigate a little bit more about South about Africa and South Africa. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 44:00

Yeah, I I love cryptids and I know that Africa has tons of them, and I need to I need to start diving into more of those. I know that they I don't remember its name off the top of my head at this moment, but I know they have areas where they say dinosaurs are still running.

SPEAKER_03 44:15

Yeah. That'd be drive-sized dinosaurs. Yeah. I mean that'd be cool. It really will be.

SPEAKER_02 44:23

As long as there are plant eaters. Yeah, so I wouldn't have to run away from fucking T-Rex or something. Because I don't want to be the one that to test the theory that they can only see movement. Stand there real still and all of a sudden I get eaten. I guess that's not right. Shouldn't I listen to the movie?

SPEAKER_03 44:43

Dang it! Only ground. Why?

SPEAKER_02 44:48

So if you're out there listening and you want to know more about the Malambo, uh, please look it up. Um anyone in South Africa would like to talk to us and describe their Malambo sightings. You can go to phantomjourneys.com and leave us a message there, and we will be in touch with you. If you want to supply us with first-class tickets to South Africa so we can go looking for Malambo, leave a message as well, and we will definitely, definitely get back to you as quickly as humanly possible.

SPEAKER_03 45:17

Absolutely. And while you're on Phantom Journeys Podcast, you can also check out our archives. Archives. We have blogs, blogs, and we have a really cool merch section that you should go check out. And it would support a show. It would. A little bit. Enough to get us some upgrades.

SPEAKER_02 45:34

Upgrades won't get us to South Africa, but you know, you know, new equipment would be very appreciated.

SPEAKER_03 45:43

Because I think one thing that we really need is chairs. Chairs now. Because I broke one chair that I mean it wasn't you probably tear it all the time.

SPEAKER_02 45:50

Yeah, he throws them across the room when he gets upset about things, you know.

SPEAKER_03 45:56

I just have chair holes in my wall.

SPEAKER_02 45:59

That's a chair hole. What's this? That's another chair hole. I don't do that.

unknown 46:05

No.

SPEAKER_02 46:05

I'll come against the outside. It was a big chair. I'm putting a new window in. It's the size of a chair hole. Uh yeah, so please uh tell a hundred friends that you uh listen to us on uh phantomjourneys.com.

SPEAKER_03 46:24

What's that? Tell your AI to come listen to us too.

SPEAKER_02 46:29

We had this discussion beforehand.

SPEAKER_03 46:31

If AI AI has to be.

SPEAKER_02 46:34

We had we had an instance where we had someone somewhere in the world listen to every single episode of the Phantom Journeys in like one day. One day.

SPEAKER_03 46:47

Which is impossible.

SPEAKER_02 46:48

Because they're an hour generally an hour long, and there's over a hundred. So I mean you're looking at a good long weekend, if not more.

SPEAKER_03 46:54

Or less like a group of people go, okay, Mike, you're gonna listen to episode one to ten, Tommy, eleven to twenty. Everyone's gonna listen to it all at once.

SPEAKER_02 47:04

You you know their name, so you know who did it. Oh shit, I do.

unknown 47:07

Damn.

SPEAKER_02 47:07

Oh no, we we don't. Okay. We just thought it was really strange, and we were just trying to figure out. So the only thing we could think of is that AI or some kind of based thing, you know, went researched every episode.

SPEAKER_03 47:21

When Ken came on today, I was like, I need to try something. I asked an AOA, I was like, can you do this? And they said no. It can't listen to episodes, you have to give it to you have to like upload it. Yeah, so it can't give you much. You can't just go to our website and listen to them, yeah. Bloody monetize. So I don't understand it. But you know what? To those people or that person I know, it just came to me. What aliens all the cryptans all at once just listen to it.

SPEAKER_02 47:46

No, all the aliens, all the aliens. There's a mothership that just decided, hey, I like that guy's t-shirt, because I was running the Phantom Journeys uh website, uh Phantom Journeys t-shirt the other day, and uh and they said, I like that t-shirt, I'm gonna go check it out. And they downloaded every episode in within 24 hours.

unknown 48:02

Interesting. Interesting.

SPEAKER_03 48:03

I don't know. I mean, I guess you can download them in our accounts, so maybe someone just downloaded 110 episodes.

SPEAKER_02 48:09

Well, thank you. And if you're out there, thank you very much. We appreciate you. We love you. Thank you. And if you can go and leave five-star review on whatever platform you use to listen to these, it would actually help us out a great deal and and bring more people to our little web website podcast and listen to the uh the content that we've been bringing you.

SPEAKER_03 48:29

Absolutely, absolutely. Right, so Ken, that was cool. Let's um let's leave it there. Unless you have anything more you'd like to talk about.

SPEAKER_02 48:37

No, I'm good. I think I've uh sufficiently covered a lot of bases today. You absolutely have science from cryptids from head to ass. That's right. So bring it when you need the news that goes from head to ass, come to phantomjourneys.com. And you know what? You know what? What? You know what? What? What uh I think in. And you've been listening to the Phantom Journeys Podcast.

SPEAKER_03 49:07

I know you want to say something. I was waiting for you to hear the fart noise.

SPEAKER_01 49:14

Alright, bro. You can help support this show by buying something from our merch store. T-shirts, posters, and more. Help keep the paranormal content coming into your ear holes. Use the coupon code GRIM, G-R-I-M, for a special listener discount. This has been the Phantom Journeys Podcast. The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the hosts and guests, and not necessarily the views of our sponsors or producers. Living or dead. I'm Grim, your local Reaper. Be a part of the show and send me Grim. You know your hunky Grim Reaper, your experiences with ghosts, aliens, monsters, or even with me. Grim, we are looking for real experiences. You can send us an email through our website at Phantom Turkeys.com. If you survive,