On today's episode, we have on my favorite fashionista friend, Simone Webb. Fashion is truly a form of self care and we believe when you look good, you feel good.
On today's episode we cover:
Connect with Simone:
@monieinthecity
If you want more self care tips along with daily affirmations, make sure to check out our FREE Self Care Guide to use daily.
On today's episode, we have on my favorite fashionista friend, Simone Webb. Fashion is truly a form of self care and we believe when you look good, you feel good.
On today's episode we cover:
Connect with Simone:
@monieinthecity
If you want more self care tips along with daily affirmations, make sure to check out our FREE Self Care Guide to use daily.
[00:00:00]
Welcome and welcome back to the Behind the Silk podcast, where we have conversations about prioritizing self care in different aspects of our lives. I am your host, Ericka Nicole, the founder of Silkenn, and if you're anything like me, when you look good, You feel good, okay? Hair done, nails done, and a poppin outfit that just pulls it all together.
You can't tell me anything, okay? My price then went up. Interestingly enough, I'm actually in this phase of spring cleaning my wardrobe and redefining my personal style. Which is perfect, because in today's episode, I am chatting with my favorite fashionista and friend, Simone Webb. We are going to discuss how keeping it cute and fashionable is actually a form of self care.
We actually met at [00:01:00] church, and Simone is a type of woman who is not only dressed down to the nines, but every day and always, but she is also so kind and has such an inviting spirit and personality. She's truly that girl, the one that you want to be friends with, and I'm so excited to share our conversation.
In this episode, Simone shares her insights on how to plan an outfit, how the pandemic has changed fashion as a whole, how to elevate your style, the fun self care side of getting ready, shopping secrets you need to know, and so much more. But first, today's affirmation reads, I am capable of great things and grateful for all that I have.
Take a moment and receive that. All right, without further ado, let's get right [00:02:00] into this conversation.
Ericka Nicole: You are like the A1 fashion girl. Okay. So, Simona is like my sister in Christ.
Ericka Nicole: We go to church and like her outfits. Okay. So I thought that you would be the perfect person to come give some fashion tips to the girlies, you know, give some insight on what some of your thoughts are,
Simone Webb: I got you. I'm excited.
Ericka Nicole: how did you get into fashion? Like, how did you find your style?
Simone Webb: At a young age, my mother was very stylish. Like I'm talking like this lady, to go to the corner store would be dressed to the nines. Like my mom was just always very fancy, very cute. always classy.
Simone Webb: So growing up, I always saw my mom put together like stuff and I would just be like, wow, this lady is like flying. So over time, I like would see her get fly. And then as a kid, like I would [00:03:00] try to put stuff together and just you know, make little stuff out of nothing. We grew up poor, so we would do a lot of thrifting.
Simone Webb: So. Growing up poor forces you to be creative, right? Because you don't have all the resources everybody has. So that kind of instilled this like thriftiness in me that I have now that I'm an adult. So now I'm very like, I don't need all my pieces to be Designer or super expensive.
Simone Webb: I'm very big on like high and low. So I might have a nice designer shoe or not even designer, but just good quality because all good quality stuff. Isn't designer. You can get some stuff that's non name brand. That's good. That'll last you. So I basically found my personal style through thrifting and like, just kind of being creative and like mixing and matching and Not always following trends, but just what feels good to me on that day in that moment.
Ericka Nicole: No, that's so good. Because I think there's that big misconception that fashion is just designer. Like when we think fashion, we think [00:04:00] runway. And I'm like, a lot of the things that you see on the runway are not things that you would like, Wear down the street, you know what I mean? So I think trying to find a way to like incorporate some of that into like your everyday wear, trying to find your style is hard,
Simone Webb: It is very hard. And a lot of people struggle with it. And even knowing like your sizing is hard and like, people drag their feet to go shopping. A lot of women actually don't it's very contrary to what people think women don't love shopping even I do
Ericka Nicole: not. I
Simone Webb: love exactly.
Simone Webb: I don't really love shopping. And if I don't have to go in the store, I won't.
Simone Webb: Thank God for online. Yes.
Ericka Nicole: No, for real. And I remember, like, I used to love going into the mall. Like, I remember those days, but I think online has definitely spoiled me. Cause like, especially if you can get a good Amazon dupe and Amazon fine, and it can be here tomorrow, take all my money.
Ericka Nicole: I'm telling you. And he will. He continues to do so, you know, I think the saying goes like when you look good, you [00:05:00] feel good. And I genuinely believe that whether it's like fashion or getting your hair, your nails, like whatever, like when you look at, I feel like you just, you know, sit a little taller, you know?
Ericka Nicole: So how do you think that dressing in a way that makes you feel more confident and or comfortable even, can contribute to like your self care or like your, mental wellbeing?
Simone Webb: wow. Thank you all. You come in with them.
Ericka Nicole: Good question. Boom, boom, boom. We stay ready.
Simone Webb: Yes, period. So you ain't got to get ready.
Simone Webb: Okay. yes, when you look good, you feel good. And
Simone Webb: I think in a multitude of ways because, one, Okay, great. You put on an outfit and you look in the mirror and you're like, I look great. You leave the house, but then you get compliments. Right. And like, I don't care who you are. Yes. I know. We don't need validation from anyone outside of ourselves and God.
Simone Webb: Yes, we know this.
Ericka Nicole: I want validation. I, I, I want to validate it.
Simone Webb: It is not a need. I I can live without it, but it feels great when I go into the [00:06:00] office and everyone in my office is like, you look cute. And I'm like, Oh my God, stop. Yeah. When I picked out my clothes on Sunday and okay.
Simone Webb: Night
Ericka Nicole: before it on, pressed it out. All that
Simone Webb: got them laid out on the bed, like the first day of school, like, right. getting that outside validation helps to boost confidence overall. So you come home and you're like, wow, like, like you, like you said, you stand a little taller you as my mom used to say, you start smelling yourself like, okay, you know, you're like, wow, like, okay, be completely honest with you, people treat you differently when you look very true, like, very be real when you have on Sweatpants and a sweatshirt and you walk into an establishment versus, a slack and a pump and a blazer
Ericka Nicole: the phone in your hand, right?
Simone Webb: With the phone in your hand. It's People treat you different. Like, they stand a little bit taller. They kind of like give you more respect, which adds to that self [00:07:00] care. aspect. So, all in all, I feel like you feel good. Other people make you feel good. And it's kind of like a ripple effect in it.
Simone Webb: it makes everything come together and it makes you more confident as a person.
Ericka Nicole: That's so interesting because I think even the type of attention that you get based on how you dress changes. Like for example, I had just came from the gym and I had my hair braided like a couple of days ago because I just came off a vacation and like, I was like sweaty, like sweat pants, like all that.
Ericka Nicole: I was going to the grocery store and like some guy drove by and like his car, he's like, Oh, you look beautiful. And I'm like, Oh, thank you. Thank Okay. Keep going. You know, But then like that type of attention compared to like when you're dressed up and you're like sitting at a bar and you have like, you know, a nice little cocktail.
Ericka Nicole: I feel like the type of person that you attract based on how you dress changes, like the type of attention that you get.
Simone Webb: I agree wholeheartedly. Yes. And you want to know what's actually crazy for me subconsciously when [00:08:00] I'm like going out, like in my hood, let's just say to the neighborhood bar.
Simone Webb: Like I don't go to the nines. I even subconsciously at my mind dress for where I'm going. So I'm not going to go. To the neighborhood bar with my Amina Muadiz or my lubes, I'll go with like my Vejas or my Golden Goose, right? Because that's the type of Girl, you still, you still better
Ericka Nicole: than me. I was going to be like my Adidas slides, like my Yeezys.
Simone Webb: I have like an anti slide rule. Like, I'm not going to nobody's bar with slide slides. Really?
Ericka Nicole: Well, yeah. What if they're designer slides? Yeah. Like a Gucci slide? No?
Simone Webb: Well, see, if it's a slide or a stando, when I think of slide, I think of like a rubber pool shoe, so. Okay, okay. And that's another thing with fashion, like the words are very like, cause when I think of, I was never saying slides until Yeezy slides came out.
Simone Webb: And then everything was like the Yeezy slides. So when I think of a slide, I think of like a plastic. By the [00:09:00] pool. Athletic. But when I think of like a sandal, like I have Hermes sandals, Dior sandals, which is different. I will definitely wear those to your bar, but I ain't wearing no. Some Some rubber duckies.
So what is your process? how do you pick out your outfits? I know some people like start with the location or they may be like, Oh, I have this one piece that I designed an outfit around or how my hair looks today is how I plan my outfits. Like, what's your process?
Simone Webb: Oh my God, great question. So this is funny because I go based off of Number one, if I have anything new, it don't matter where I'm going, honey, the new stuff is going to be worn.
Simone Webb: We'd be saving to pop them tags. Okay. Okay. So because I haven't really been shopping this year, like I made a commitment to myself, I was going to go on a freeze and I did well. I didn't buy anything literally from January until about July. And then I bought a few pieces, but I went what, seven [00:10:00] months without, I'm talking about not a sock, not an underwear, a bra.
Simone Webb: Nothing because I was looking at making me look bad. My account disgusted last year. Now if I can do the same thing with Uber Eats and Ubering, I'll be rich. Okay. . So, but I started with shopping to discipline myself, so, but when I was back, when I was shopping all the time, it would always be like I got this new top, I got these new jeans, so I have to wear these.
Simone Webb: Literally, as soon as they get in, or as soon as they're shipped in, I'm wearing them that next weekend. But now, since I have not been shopping, it's been more so based around the location. So if it's somewhere like, I do a lot of art museums, a lot of galleries, a lot of networking events. If I know I'm getting on the subway and I'm going to be walking, that play is a big factor because obviously I'm not wearing my four inch heels to walk blocks and blocks. So I have to base it around my footwear, which changes the whole, Trajectory of the fit, it changes the [00:11:00] aesthetic, but if I'm going on a dinner day and a guy's picking me up and he's dropping me off and I'm getting dropped off right at the door and sitting down, then I know I'm wearing heels.
Simone Webb: So it really depends on location first, right? And then, um, I build it from what I'm going to put on my feet because everything doesn't go with the same footwear.
Ericka Nicole: I feel that because I think over the past, I think it's really post pandemic. So probably for like the past two to three years, I have been like so anti heel.
Ericka Nicole: Like if I can avoid wearing a heel, I want no parts. Like I've gotten so comfortable with like a sandal, like even in like the winter time, like a nice boot. A flat. Oh, I love a boot. I love a boot. it's just so interesting to see how I things have changed, even like with makeup and stuff like that. Like, I used to love putting on a full face. Like I would put on full faces to like, take photos, do Instagram on Instagram, you know, take photos, whatever. Now if I. don't have to like put on makeup or if I can just do like a little concealer and mascara, like I will do it.
Ericka Nicole: So I [00:12:00] think like my whole concept of going out has changed post pandemic.
Simone Webb: The pandemic has definitely affected everything. I mean, I don't know if you remember, but during the pandemic, number one, Chanel bags. went up like crazy
Ericka Nicole: exponentially.
Simone Webb: Yes, because it was the boom of athleisure. So women were coming out with their track suits, but they were buying Chanel bags because the people that were dressing up, like you said, I don't have a reason to dress up.
Simone Webb: Everything's closed, but I still want you to know I got money. So what do I do? I throw on my track suit. I go get a Chanel bag because the Chanel is a staple of having money. Not the
Ericka Nicole: arm.
Simone Webb: You have to have it on the arm. If you don't wear it on the arm like that. That is like the fold of the arm. The fold of that.
Simone Webb: You have to put it right in that crevice and fold it. It's not. It's not the same. Are you really a fashion girl? So that speaks to what you said about the pandemic really changing like things. [00:13:00] And now, you know, people are kind of starting to get back into the swing of things of like being out and being around people.
Simone Webb: It's almost like the pandemic never happened, but that kind of stuck with a lot of people where they're like, if I don't have to wear a heel, if I don't have to do all this stuff. Full face, like that takes an hour, concealing brows, contouring, concaving, whatever you guys do. Cause I don't do none of that.
Simone Webb: But yeah, it changed a lot of things for us.
Ericka Nicole: Yeah, and first off, makeup is expensive. That's like, I don't think people realize how expensive makeup is. That's a whole nother conversation, but anywho, but caught myself even spending more on my accessories. So like splurging more, like you said, mixing that high and low.
Ericka Nicole: So like, yeah, maybe like a designer bag or designer belt, but like. A fashion Nova or I know she ends in some trouble right now, but like a little she and fit, you know what I mean? So like to kind of just tie it all together. And it's so interesting that men and women's fashion is so different. Like I think fast fashion for men and women completely different.
Ericka Nicole: I think men spend more on like their actual [00:14:00] clothes, like their jeans and designer t shirts to put their fits together. But I think women spent a lot more on their to tie in with their fast fashion fits.
Simone Webb: Yeah, I agree. I was a fast fashion or last year to the point where I looked in my closet.
Simone Webb: I was like, everything is from she and like,
Ericka Nicole: yeah, they
Simone Webb: had after pay. So I would get like a
Ericka Nicole: whole don't get me started on after pay is the devil. That is the devil.
Simone Webb: Afterpay really is a devil. They can fire it up, you know, if you want to switch it up, depends on how you feel. Cause
Ericka Nicole: they're going to give you a limit on both of them, so you got to stretch it across.
Ericka Nicole: Hello? Hello?
Simone Webb: Hello? A little shop pay, listen, quad pay, whatever you think I can break. If it's 20, I'm breaking it up. I'm a break it down. Yes. But she and I definitely looked at my closet and I was like, Everything is from Sheehan. And then I don't know, this is going to get a little political, but then I saw an article about how they treated the workers and like how labor.
Simone Webb: And I'm very much one of [00:15:00] those people that I understand that a lot of brands do a lot of bad things, but once it is visible to me and I know I will not give you a dollar of my money. So I had to make. The hard decision of breaking up with Sheehan. This was mid last year and it was hard because I was getting my bathing suits, you know, I was traveling a lot.
Simone Webb: So it's great for those pieces that you don't, you know, you don't need to wear over and over again. And I had to break up with them and it's been hard because. Now I have to spend a lot of money if I want something, but at least I feel good in my heart that I'm not supporting a company that doesn't pay their employees and has bad conditions, you know, so
Ericka Nicole: I love that you bring that up because capitalism is so real and I think it's really hard. I just kind of like getting a little political, you're right, but like it's so hard to like live in a capitalist society and participate. In capitalism and still be able to critique it there's like a boundary there and [00:16:00] like you said when things become visible, it's hard to kind of turn a blind eye to it.
Ericka Nicole: And I think for me like I had kind of like known about it like a little bit but like, I don't know if you like the tick tock brand trip that they did that went pretty viral that kind of like expose everything I think that was like the. All right, like I can't keep like. It's like, okay, we're here now. It's like, what do we do? And then like, when you dive like deeper into these like other brands, like Fashion Nova and Timu and all these other fast fashion brands, you realize how much, not only are they like not treating their workers well, but like, I mean, stealing designs from other creators.
Ericka Nicole: Yeah. Like it just runs so deep. So, and I think We as a generation, as like millennials and Gen Zers in particular, I think that we have such a different perspective on like, what a brand stands for, their mission, their value, sustainability, way more than past generations. So even the brands that we shop with, like we're willing to spend a little bit more if we know that things are ethically sourced.
Ericka Nicole: And that's across the board consumerism.
Simone Webb: Yeah, I [00:17:00] agree. And we have a lot of power, like millennials don't understand. We really have. Made a lot of things possible because of our buying power and our mindset about things. Like a lot of things would not exist if it wasn't for us and what we want and what we need.
Simone Webb: So I feel like if we came together and we're like, listen, like, we're not going to support this. Like I've seen so many things of I think it was fashion Nova stealing people's designs. And I was just like, that's terrible for a small designer who is just trying to put themselves out there and this huge place that has all these celebrity endorsements, which God knows how, because well, money, nevermind, they're paying them.
Simone Webb: But it's like, even celebrities will do whatever for money. Like, who am I kidding? But it's just like these poor designers. Now your design is stolen and it's like, who do I support? Am I going to get the 300 dress from Hanifah? Cause I think they sold a design from Hanifah. They did. Or am I going to get the [00:18:00] 20 knockoff which the quality is going to suck. But in pictures, it looks, you're only wearing it
Ericka Nicole: once. Yeah. You're probably only wearing it once.
Ericka Nicole: So it's like, it's so tempting. And it's like these brands, these smaller creators or fashion designers don't have the capital to go against these big brands. So you really just have to take the L and keep it pushing. Really. That's like the best.
Simone Webb: What are you going to do? Sue fashion Nova? Like
Ericka Nicole: they will drag you.
Simone Webb: Legal fees are expensive and there has to be something where Technically. because it isn't like intellectual property or like a copyright. Like it's not a logo or a brand name. They're still they're just Remaking a design. So the loopholes around it are Like you can't really even take it to court they would have to actually Take the name and put Hanifa across the shirt and they're not doing that.
Simone Webb: They're smart. They know what to do Yeah,
Ericka Nicole: it's just crazy the world that we live in but you know, you kind of just kind of Gotta get it how you get it, but I think one thing that made, I guess, like fash fashion in particular super [00:19:00] Trending was like the size inclusivity I think that was something that we first saw like i'm sure there may have been other brands But I think fashion nova was like the first that I recall like back in like that 20 I was probably still in college disgusting.
Ericka Nicole: I'm like like 2016 Like, you know, that, like, group where, like, they were making clothes for curvier women and plus size and all these things. So, what are your thoughts on, other brands being more size inclusive? Like, have you seen that more, or less? Or do you think that more can be done in that area?
Ericka Nicole: What are your thoughts?
Simone Webb: Yeah, so, I feel like back in the day, right? Like, plus size was, taboo when it came to fashion. Like, everybody was, like, the size of a pinky. Had to be five, seven, and that was it. And then as we started coming more into the new millennium, we started to see Thorid, like, I believe it was Thorid.
Simone Webb: You a little young, so I don't know. Don't play with me. I remember,
Ericka Nicole: I remember Thorid. Don't play with me. Thorid
Simone Webb: was like, I mean, we had, like, the lame Bryant.
Ericka Nicole: Yeah. [00:20:00] No. Torrid was like the first trendy. It
Simone Webb: was like, for that girl, like they had the leather jackets and the ripped jeans and the name even inspired.
Simone Webb: And Torrid was the first store I saw and I was like, okay, like. You guys are doing it. And then you would see like plus size clothing in your department stores, but it wasn't like a brand created around it.
Simone Webb: And then I hate to bring it up but Kim K with the skims and all of her stuff, very inclusive, like her team is amazing. And they know how to be very inclusive. And then, you know, people started hopping on and H and M and, Boohoo, Pretty Little Thing, Nasty Gal, they all have plus size offerings, and that's amazing to be inclusive because everybody is not a stick,
Ericka Nicole: like.
Ericka Nicole: Now, do you think that that type of inclusivity is just a trend, for marketing purposes? Or to like make more money by appealing to more people? Or do you think that these brands genuinely care about inclusivity?
Simone Webb: I would love to be [00:21:00] optimistic and say it's for the mission and that they care, but the designers are usually The people corporate at the top are usually not of color. They're usually not of a size bigger than a two and a four. And this is me coming from the industry and being in those rooms and seeing the stylist and seeing people. And that's why I got out of fashion because it wasn't enough black women, right.
Simone Webb: As I got higher up and it wasn't enough. inclusivity. Like they say they're inclusive and this is going to get political once again, but I can't help it. But even during 2021, we had all the black lives matter. And it was like company after company, after company, it was like, we stand with you black, like, and they were turning their logos and suspense and everything, the commercials.
Simone Webb: And I was like, this is cute, but don't. It doesn't take riots and things like this for you to be like, we see you. And now look, I ain't heard a peep out of nobody. Nobody's saying, we're donating money to this [00:22:00] HBCU or we're helping, like Flint still had dirty water a year ago. So like, what are
Ericka Nicole: we really doing?
Ericka Nicole: And people forget about these things. And it's just so funny how social media really controls this narrative. one of the funniest ones that I, well, it's not funny. But one of the most interesting one was like, there was like an H& M shirt that came out. I remember that was like super controversial.
Ericka Nicole: like a black face, basically kind of thing on the t shirt. And I remember whoever came out on their social media account to like address the concerns of the public was just so tone deaf in their response that it was like borderline ignorance. And it's just interesting to see how, you know, you have these bigger brands that use certain situations as a ploy to try and gain more customers. Like it's just purely financial. So it makes it hard as a consumer. Like who do I spend my money to like, who do I shop with? Because yes, you do have some of these like, you know, really good brands that are, you know, smaller creators typically charge more.
Ericka Nicole: And, We were in a pandemic, we're now in the midst of a recession, almost a depression, you know, and it's like, it's hard to [00:23:00] afford some of the prices smaller designers are charging. Not to say that they don't deserve to charge these prices, but it's just hard for them.
Ericka Nicole: Right. It doesn't take
Simone Webb: away from what they deserve, but it's hard.
Ericka Nicole: It's hard. Yeah. So it's so conflicting where it's like, okay, like, do I break the bank with an afterpay payment to, you know, support this creator and their products? Or do I, you know, go back to shopping at, you know, these brands that, you know, are definitely toned after the industry, but they're definitely more affordable.
Simone Webb: Yeah, it's almost like the lesser of two evils and it's like you have to do what's best for you and your finances at the end of the day. I'm not an advocate of like breaking myself to like prove a point because at the end of the day like nobody's gonna like who's gonna know? Nobody's gonna know what they know.
Simone Webb: It's about how you feel. For me, I'll just go without, like if I can't do the expensive person, but I have to like support a company that is like, I know doesn't care about me as a [00:24:00] person, which, listen, I get it. The people at the top, they're not thinking about the people at the bottom. I get it. Right. I'm not, listen, I don't live in a world of rainbows and butterflies.
Simone Webb: I get the world that we live in and I, and I don't walk around with a chip on my shoulder like, whoa. Pick at them and you know, but it's just like whatever works for you works for you. And that's it.
Ericka Nicole: Yeah, that's so interesting. So outside of [00:25:00] purchasing of items, I think the process of actually getting ready is like one of my favorite parts of fashion.
Ericka Nicole: Like I'm not a fashion girly. I love basics. I love neutrals. I maybe have one or two like patterned pieces, which to me were like, like a really intense buying process for me. Cause I'm like, how many times am I going to wear this? But I think the process of like getting dressed, like, you know, you're picking your outfit, you're picking your fragrance, you're planning your makeup, you're planning your hair, like the whole concept of it all.
Ericka Nicole: I do love the process. So how do you think that that process, Translates into a self care experience.
Simone Webb: Oh, that is the best. oh my god, it's the most fun thing. And I just have to say, putting music on, and like, having like a glass of wine or a cocktail while you get ready is like, honestly, my best part.
Simone Webb: but it's just like going out, like, you, you know, you talk to your girl earlier in the day and you're like, okay, we're going to meet up or, you know, usually I have people over. I love to host. So I'm like, people are coming over. But [00:26:00] lighting a candle, putting on my old school R& B playlist, grabbing a cocktail, shaking it up real nice. Then you go, now usually I already know by the time I start getting ready, I know what I'm wearing.
Simone Webb: It's already ironed, so I take my long shower, put on my emollients, do my skincare routine. You know, wrap my hair, even though I don't, I have a shortcut. I still put a little product in it a little side down so them waves can be, you know, make them seasick on swim. It feels so good. Like I always say, like, if I was a man, Like I would want to be a woman because men don't get to really like do that.
Simone Webb: Like men just shower, they barely put on lotion. They're getting a shower gel, shower gel is a shampoo, a conditioner, and a body wash all in one, like three in one, like, Oh, everything. And like, we just have all these things and we just get to like dote and spoil [00:27:00] ourselves. And then. We get to flip on these clothes and then put on fragrance and like, just like ankle bracelets and toe rings and like all these things.
Simone Webb: And it's just like beautiful. to me, it's like, A romantic experience before you even leave your house, you've already had like a romantic night and then you get to go out and have like fun or dinner or movies or drinks, whatever the case is. But before you leave the house, that experience to me, it's just like, that's my favorite part about going out is the getting ready.
Ericka Nicole: It sets the mood for sure. And like we were saying earlier, like when you look good, you feel good, you smell good, people are telling you you look good, like you literally just sit a little taller because I think it just sets the tone for the rest of the evening. You know, you're going to get some bomb pics that night, like everything about the night just I think works out a little bit better.
Simone Webb: Yes, agree. Wow. Now I'm like, where are we going tonight? I wish it wasn't raining. Do
Ericka Nicole: something. Where are we going?
Ericka Nicole: So we obviously live in the [00:28:00] age of social media, right? So how do you think that the way that we present ourselves Ourselves online with like our fashion choices, our outfits, like basically nowadays, like your Instagram is like your portfolio for like who you are.
Ericka Nicole: I feel like that's the first thing that people don't even ask for like your number or like anymore. It's what's your Instagram. Yeah. Exactly. They want to remember you for the next day. Okay. So how do you think like the way that we dress and the way that we present ourselves online affects people's first impression of us?
Simone Webb: Wow. I feel like our profile period, right, affects people's perception. Number one, the number of followers, like, even for me, and I hate this about myself, and I have tried to Take myself out of it. But when I meet people, I'm very, very friendly. I meet people all the time where I'm always making new friends and we'll exchange socials.
Simone Webb: And like, if I see they got like 25 K [00:29:00] followers, the back of my mind, I'm like, They must be cool. Like, and I hate that about myself because I've met some of the most boring, sucky, no energy having people and they have huge followings. So that's the first thing you see that they have a big following, right?
Simone Webb: And you're like, they must be cool. They must have something that I don't have because I don't have that following. So that's the first thing, the number of followers. And you see the photos and you know, you see how they're dressed and like you said, it's a walking portfolio. So like, I see girls and I'm like, I see that they're always like dressed up.
Simone Webb: I always think like she must have money. Like, that's the first thing that I think, or he must. He must have money or I'm like, he might, he might be a scammer. Everything is Gucci label, yeah, everything's designer. I'm like, and that's terrible. And I hate that for me.
Simone Webb: I hate that for us as a generation. And honestly, I like social media, but I find myself like seven times out of [00:30:00] 10 saying I wish social media was never created because it makes everything harder from making friends to dating, to just. Wake him up and seeing if you want to look up a recipe and now you see for me, like, sometimes I see like eight girls younger than me getting married.
Simone Webb: And I'm like, what happened? I was looking for a peach cobbler recipe. And Yeah. So it has this great things like connecting people and people have made money. With a free resource. And I love that aspect of it, but the negative ones, you know, when things are negative, they kind of outshine the positive and, um, I don't like how it gives you a preconceived notion of a person before you really even know them or hang out with them or even feel their energy, I find a lot of people on social media before I meet them in person, so I already have an idea in my mind, like, Oh, she got 100k [00:31:00] followers, she fuck up, like, oh, she got two Chanel bags, like, you're looking, you see, oh, she got this, she got that, so she must not be friendly, like, what?
Ericka Nicole: No, that's real. And it's so funny because, again, like, with fast fashion and, you know, you have, like, dupe bags and knockoffs, like, it's so hard to get, a real judgment of someone's character or, you know, who they are, what they have just by their social media profiles because it's, it's all a facade.
Ericka Nicole: Like, it's all a facade at the end of the day. Yes. Yes. And I know
Simone Webb: It was all a
Ericka Nicole: lie. And I think there are improvements that I think some of these social media platforms can make to, I don't want to even say create a better user experience because there are people who like.
Ericka Nicole: the things that come with social media, but to make it less polluting, diluting, like, I don't even know, like, they took the likes away. Like, you now have the option to hide your likes. I love that. I think that that's super dope. I think that they should now start hiding the option of how many followers people have.
Ericka Nicole: Like, you can decide if you want your follower count shown or not shown. Like, I feel like that would, that would just, you know, knock everybody off the map. Like that would have really switched up the game. So [00:32:00] I think there, there are improvements that could be made, but I don't think that society is ready for that.
Ericka Nicole: Cause I feel like we're still in this very social media based culture that still looks for that type of validation and you know, that type of community on social media in a negative way.
Simone Webb: Agree. What I will say is I, wish that they would go back to like going to your timeline and just seeing like your timeline because I don't, so I don't even scroll down my timeline anymore because I don't really, I won't see anybody I follow.
Simone Webb: It's like sponsored ad, sponsored ad, sponsored ad. And then like, I don't even follow this person. Like they're pushing people's content to people that don't even follow them. And like back in the day, the only thing that would pop up. Would be people you follow. So that is one feature. If I had any feedback, I would say to bring back because I don't need to see.
Simone Webb: I mean now mine is like customized to me so it's only animals and like recipes because [00:33:00] that's all I look at on Instagram. The algorithm got you. It got me. It knows me. It's like recipes and animals because I don't look at other people's lives because I still deal with sometimes comparison. I'm very honest about what I can handle and what I can't and Social media can be the devil and he can know what you're yearning for and he'll put that in your face.
Simone Webb: Even though that person may be in a terrible situation, you can take a picture, you can Photoshop it. They're smiling, but they're crying behind the eyes. So I'm learning that now, like whatever someone posts, just their highlight reel. It has nothing to do with me or my, my life is still good, but sometimes you have a really great day and you're like, I love my life and you get off social media and you're like, damn.
Simone Webb: Why do I have that? Why don't I, you know what I'm saying? And so
Ericka Nicole: in comparison really is a thief of joy, but it's hard when we live in this type of society, you know, and it's, it's real, like, it's good that you know, your boundaries. And I feel like if people [00:34:00] were able to be more real with themselves and set certain boundaries, you know, of that nature, I feel like, you know, like maybe depression, the mental health issues that we have, the anxieties that we have would definitely come down.
Ericka Nicole: Um, if we weren't in that constant state of mind of, I have to do more, I have to be better. This person has this. Like, I think it would completely change the game. That's stressful AF. Like, always trying to be better than the next person. Oh my goodness. Yes.
Simone Webb: Yes. And even when people are like, Oh, I'm just trying to be better than me.
Simone Webb: That's, and this is taking it back to now, like a Christian perspective. That's not what God wants for us. it literally says in the Bible, like, strife, he does not like. Like, we are not supposed to strive for anything. We're not supposed to wake up and be like, grind and roll and grind.
Simone Webb: And we up all night, we're not sleeping. Like, we need to do this.
Ericka Nicole: yeah, grind culture is so toxic. And I think that once we get out of that, I think that we'll definitely see, things change, you know, and I think social media has just amplified it because again, like you see everyone's highlight reel.
Ericka Nicole: So it's just like, oh, I [00:35:00] need this. I need more. We have a very gluttonous outlook. and I just don't know how we as a generation or society can kind of Bring it back. I feel like we're kind of too far in it to kind of just reel it back in.
Simone Webb: Yeah. I, so I oftentimes have these thoughts about how like our generation, if anything is going to change, it would be us because, Do you remember a time when like cell phones weren't in your hands?
Ericka Nicole: Yes. I used to sit on my daddy's car when he used to install car phones in people's cars. I was there for that.
Simone Webb: But yes. Okay. So you do still remember a time when, people didn't have cell phones in their hands. Like we had house phones. Our internet was dial up. You pick up the phone and like somebody else is on the phone and you could hear their whole conversation.
Simone Webb: Our internet was dial up. We had CD players and Walkman to play tapes. We are that last generation that has that appreciation for not having everything at our fingertips. So if anything [00:36:00] was going to change, would be with us. Every generation now after us is like born into technology. I see kids in strollers now with iPads glued to their faces.
Simone Webb: They don't even play outside. They don't even play with toys. They go on YouTube and watch kids play. Play with toys. I
Ericka Nicole: That's like one of my biggest pet peeves. Like even when one of my nephews and my nieces come over, I literally throw them blocks and like a truck or something on the floor and I'm like, figure it out.
Ericka Nicole: Figure it out.
Simone Webb: Go outside. Like you don't, they're not bruising and scraping their knees anymore. Like,
Ericka Nicole: Yeah, you know how we all have like that one cut in the center of our knee. Like, I feel like everyone has it
Simone Webb: where's the scar?
Simone Webb: It's crazy, but,
Ericka Nicole: and it's hard because even if you wanted to send your kids out to go play, like, who are they playing with because there's no other kids outside. So even if you wanted to be that one parent, it's like, well, dang, well, now what?
Simone Webb: Now I'm outside playing with them. Like, I wanted to have me a glass of wine while y'all were outside.
Ericka Nicole: Right, [00:37:00] okay. I want your friends knocking on the door. Can someone come out and play today? Oh
Simone Webb: my God, Like my friend, Brittany, I will always, I will wait every day to see like her grandmother would like open the screen door.
Simone Webb: And that's when I knew like they were open for business. As soon as I saw that door open, I would go,
Ericka Nicole: And if they said no, then you got to get all the rest of the kids from the block to come through the door so we could all act together because they can't say no to all of
Simone Webb: us.
Simone Webb: They can't say no to all of us. The kids will never know.
Ericka Nicole: No. It was a different time. Things were so much more simple. But, you know, I guess we're here and we just got to keep it moving forward. But who knows?
Ericka Nicole: let's circle back. So, okay. so social media, first impression. So what are some tips that you have for those who are interested in elevating their style?
Ericka Nicole: People like me, cause I'm a basic girl.
Simone Webb: So one of my biggest things is always like find like inspo. Go on Pinterest. Pinterest is great for like fashion. And so Google, Instagram, [00:38:00] and just screenshot a bunch of looks that you think that would number one, fit your body type that you like.
Simone Webb: I'm huge on, finding looks. of staple pieces that you can like convert from like office to church to the club or I shouldn't say the club because I don't condone the club but the girls go out so bad outside outside they can't say outside but Finding those staples, a good blazer, a good leather jacket, a nice crisp white button up, couple of body suits, white t shirts, black, gray, a nice pair of shoes, good loafer, good pair of denim shorts, like staples.
Simone Webb: And then like you said, you have your two printed shirts. That's amazing. You get a few things that have some, some pattern to it, some colors, some life. You throw those in so then you can mix it up. but I love the fact that you're a basic girl, that you love your basics and a lot of people do, and that chic, that's [00:39:00] timeless because all of those patterns and statement pieces, are you going to want to wear when you're.
Simone Webb: 40 years old. No, you're going to revert back to your neutrals and your basics. So I'm always big on like not going crazy with trends and super bold things, even though I have a lot of like bold patterns, but that's because that stuff I had before that I haven't gotten rid of. But as I'm getting older now, when I have been shopping, I've been buying a lot of button ups and like hands and khakis and pages because I can, Kind of throw those in and like repeat them, you know, because we're in a recession, so we don't need fast fashion things that we wash one time they get ruined.
Simone Webb: If we're going to spend a little more money, make it a nice neutral, something you can wash dry and repeat. So,
Ericka Nicole: yeah, I love that. I love the practicality behind that. Cause I feel like you wear bold looks so good. Like you pull off looks. I know I'm like, I can never do that. It's
Simone Webb: also
Ericka Nicole: because I don't [00:40:00] have
Simone Webb: any hair, so I can get away with a lot more because you see me automatically and I'm a bald woman, so it's like, I'm bald and blind, so it's like, for me it's very easy, but for women who aren't as bold or aren't as comfortable being super bold, I always say just like, Look for inspo and then just try to get those pieces from that photo that you see and you know, do what's comfortable for you.
Simone Webb: Like if you're going to feel like a clown walking down the street, that doesn't help anybody because people are going to be like, and you're going to be like, Oh my God, like, you know?
Ericka Nicole: Yeah. So where are some of your favorite places to shop from? Like put us on, put us on game.
Simone Webb: Yes. So I like Essence for like,
Simone Webb: Designer stuff on sale. I've gotten a few things from essence. I love Zara, obviously my suit and I have one today from Zara. I like, thrifting. Thrift stores, um, because the great thing about thrift stores is [00:41:00] you don't pay that much and things are vintage.
Simone Webb: So that quality is like, I realized the older I've
Ericka Nicole: gotten, I'm very big on quality. Like quality has gotten so much more important. The older I've gotten for sure.
Simone Webb: Yes, because we pay bills. So I don't want anything that's going to rip or shrink or I wear it once and it's done. I want something that I have pieces, vintage pieces I've had from age 18. I still have just because the quality is great. So I would think that, uh, if you want a couple of designer pieces, you know, even resell, I love fashion files. They're real, real, I would say that's it for me. There's like other stores that I like. it's called because of Alice.
Simone Webb: It's a little pricey, but it's like a European boutique. They have a lot of basics. You would like them very like chic. Timeless pieces. the Frankie shop is a good one. Very, very pricey though. Like a blazer is like 250, [00:42:00] but quality is one thing. You'll have it your whole life. and if I need a couple of little things, like banana Republic, I love the gap Levi.
Simone Webb: I will stop wherever I have a few pieces from H and M. I just got this cute little short that from forever 21. So I go high, I go low, I go in between whatever I feel like. but like I said, as long as it feels good to you and like you feel good about the purchase, do it.
Ericka Nicole: I love that. So when are we going shopping?
Ericka Nicole: Take me out, baby.
Simone Webb: Listen, come over. We'll get on the
Ericka Nicole: computer. Perfect. So I just I have to ask because we end every episode with this question because the girls ask, so we got to let them know. What is your top tier self care secret?
Simone Webb: Top tier self care secret.
Simone Webb: Oh, okay. I have to give this one to God because I am a Christian woman, you [00:43:00] know, we met at church. My self care is Spending time with the Lord. So whether that is watching a sermon, whether that is Bible study, doing like writing my notes, highlighting verses, going over verses with my friends and like talking them out.
Simone Webb: That is my biggest form right now of self care because it just does something for my soul, which is bigger than anything can do for my body. Yeah, with our Lord and savior.
Ericka Nicole: Yay. I love it. Well, girl, thank you for coming on the pod. You did amazing. This was great.
That's a wrap for today's episode. All of Simone's information will be linked in the show notes and description box. But I want to know, what's your personal style right now? Do you enjoy the process of getting ready and getting cute? Let's keep the conversation going over on [00:44:00] Instagram @behindthesilk.
If you found this conversation fun and enjoyable, please subscribe on whichever podcast platform you're listening on right now and share this episode with a friend. But most importantly, remember that the best part of today is you.