We are really connecting to our spirituality in this self care season, because nothing can substitute faith and our connection to our creator.
In today's episode, I have the co-host of The Juxtaposition podcast on, Bernice Orowale to talk about her faith journey, being Christian in modern day, and our connection with self care and spirituality.
Connect with Bernice:
@berniceorowale
The Juxtaposition Podcast
@thejuxtapositionpodcast
Check Out: Reset Your Day with Marcelle Hutchins
If you want more self care tips along with daily affirmations, make sure to check out our FREE Self Care Guide to use daily.
We are really connecting to our spirituality in this self care season, because nothing can substitute faith and our connection to our creator.
In today's episode, I have the co-host of The Juxtaposition podcast on, Bernice Orowale to talk about her faith journey, being Christian in modern day, and our connection with self care and spirituality.
Connect with Bernice:
@berniceorowale
The Juxtaposition Podcast
@thejuxtapositionpodcast
Check Out: Reset Your Day with Marcelle Hutchins
If you want more self care tips along with daily affirmations, make sure to check out our FREE Self Care Guide to use daily.
Ericka: [00:00:00] We all have a calling. Let's make that very clear. We all have a purpose on this earth. Every day that you wake up and there's breath in your lungs, it's because you have a purpose.
Ericka: Hello, my beautiful people, welcome and welcome back to the behind the silk podcast, where we have conversations about prioritizing self care in different aspects of our lives. I am your host, Ericka Nicole, the founder of Silkenn. And Happy Monday! I hope you had a great weekend, that you feel rest and recharged, and that you are ready to take on the week.
Speaker: I'm recording this before the weekend, so I'm going to presumptively say that I had an amazing weekend. This weekend is actually Cinco de Mayo and if you know me, I am a tequila connoisseur. So this week is basically my Super Bowl and I'm really looking forward to that. I have an amazing brunch planned with some friends.
Speaker: I'm gonna do some [00:01:00] tequila tasting. Really excited about that. I'm also spending some time with friends. We're gonna Do a nice paint and sip. My cousin is getting married. So we have a bridesmaids meeting. So a lot of things going on this weekend. I'm sure it's going to be great and I'm really looking forward to it.
Speaker: And I believe that it is going to be a good time. I'm excited. I also start my new position this week. If you listened to my life update last week, you'll know that I, got a new job and I start this Monday. So, I will be sure to update you all about how my first week went. and next week's episode, but in today's episode, I have the pleasure of speaking with Bernice Orowale, who is co host of The Juxtaposition podcast.
Speaker: And this was such a timely conversation, because again, if you listened to last week's episode of my life update, you'll know that I am really [00:02:00] prioritizing the spiritual aspect of self care in this season. So this was just an amazing conversation and the timing could not have been better and we really talk about spiritual growth and how that relates to personal development, and There is a spiritual side to self care as well, which is really fun to dive into this conversation.
Speaker: we talked about a lot of things. This is a very packed episode from, our faith journeys to churches in the social media age to conforming as a Christian in the modern day society. I mean, there was just so much. So much such great information shared, but first, before we get in today's episode, today's affirmation reads, I will treat myself with the same kindness and compassion as anyone else.
Speaker: I love take a moment and receive that.[00:03:00]
Speaker: All right, without further ado, let's get into today's conversation.
Ericka: how do you define spiritual growth?
Ericka: What does that mean to you?
Bernice: that's a loaded question right there. but I think spiritual growth is it's baby steps, like really, you can't really see it until something like an experience happens. And that's how, you know, you've actually grown. I can't define it, but I think when you go through life and if you look back at yourself and like, if I were there 10 years ago, it wouldn't have happened that way. But it's so much more than just, Hey, my character got built or whatever the case is, but, or I'm praying more, whatever the case is, but it's through experiences that you figure out, like, Hey, Oh, this is what I was reading.
Bernice: This is how it's applying to my life. This is how I'm changing This is how before I used to get really upset, but now I'm more calm. I'm at peace. I don't longer fear I can overcome this because of how [00:04:00] much I've allowed myself to grow spiritually. it's, yeah, it's baby steps.
Bernice: When you take those milestones and you hit those milestones, then you'll see like, Hey, I've gotten there.
Ericka: No, I think that's good. I think sometimes we take this concept of growth and development and we put these huge milestones on it. If I'm not praying 10 times a day or in church four times a week, it's like, Oh, I'm not growing.
Ericka: And it's like, well, no, it's. It's those small things, those small habits that you accrue over a period of time that when you look back, you're like, Oh, okay, like I'm not the same person that I was last year.
Bernice: Exactly.
Ericka: I want to know more about your faith journey.
Ericka: What's kind of brought you to this point? How do you feel like you change and evolve? Give me, backstory.
Bernice: Well, honestly, so I grew up. In a home that believed in God. and so I started off in Anglican church. And so that's more towards the catholic kind of in that sense in that area And so when I was younger, we used to go to a church that was far away from us But because my [00:05:00] aunt went there and my parents they grew up anglican that's why we went to that church, but it wasn't so much because I had the faith but as I got older we moved and so when we moved there was this church that we lived in In front of and so we went to that church, but my faith wasn't I just went because, just because, you know, you just grow up.
Bernice: That's just the house. You just
Ericka: go .
Bernice: You just go, it's called Sunday, you gotta go to church. Mm-Hmm. . But I got to the point when I got to high school, that's when my faith began to, be my faith because I, I was taking on my parents' faith. I was taking on the people around me, their faith, my, aunt's faith.
Bernice: And so I didn't have my own specific faith and my own experience with Jesus until I got into high school and I went on a retreat. That's what I knew. I was 14 years old. And after that retreat, I was like, yeah, no, Jesus, this is it. I'm giving it to you. I'm dedicating my life to you. I'm serving you.
Bernice: And so at the age of 14, that's when I gave my life to Christ, but it wasn't like, uh, okay, now everything is pretty and it's good. Um,
Ericka: absolutely not.
Bernice: [00:06:00] It was, yeah, it was, uh, up and down. Even then I got baptized probably like maybe two, three years later after that too. And that's when I began to face those challenges.
Bernice: And. I was like, God, is this how it's supposed to really be? I thought it's supposed to be like, you know, I'm on top of the world. I'm on fire for you. But it more so kept me in line. I think that was how it was, what it was doing for me. My faith was just keeping me in line. Just don't fall into sexual impurity, sexual immorality.
Bernice: Don't have sex. Don't have multiple partners. don't do drugs. Like just be a good student, be a good person, you know, obey your parents. That's what my faith was doing for me at the beginning. and until actually I think it was pandemic time. That's when it turned a different route and it turned all the way around because that we're stuck.
Bernice: I had nothing. Life was stuck. I'm
Ericka: life was my thing.
Bernice: Yes. What else am I going to do? I can't go outside. I can't see my friends. I can talk to them on the phone, but how much more can I do? Right. And so I feel like in that time, it allowed me to [00:07:00] really dive into the word and read for myself because a lot of times I just heard the word, like, you know, you hear versus multiple times over and over again.
Bernice: But then you realize like, hey, no, this applies to me. This is what it means. And so 2020 is when my faith really got rooted into Jesus. And so it's kind of like I rededicated my life again to him.
Ericka: you touched on so many things that we can like talk hours about. I mean, from. You know, going to church as a kid, right?
Ericka: It's just something that you do. You don't really have that understanding of the emotional connection about it. It's funny because I saw this TikTok and it was like a before and after. It's like going to church as a kid and seeing everyone worshiping and doing all this extra stuff. And then now after adulting, you're like, Oh, I get it.
Ericka: I get it. It's a real thing. So you know, identifying and learning about God and Jesus, at an infancy stage to developing your own independent relationship, and then thinking that it's all going to be hunky dory. And it's like, No, baby, you are under attack, you have made a [00:08:00] decoration, we are coming for you.
Ericka: And it becomes this whole other thing. And then trying to navigate adulting through the teenage years, the college years. And you know, like you're there, like you guys are still cool, but it's on a different level. It may not be as spiritual as you may think it is, but it's more like a morals and values kind of thing that you carry with you.
Ericka: So when you go into this next season and that's something else I think we forget is that spirituality, you go through different seasons and it never stops. There are seasons when y'all may be locked in and then there are seasons where you guys might be like, listen, we, we cool, but I don't know. You know, that's that, that's just that.
Ericka: You know, so you touched on so many good things and it's not an easy thing. So from your perspective, what are some of the key similarities or the key differences between spiritual growth or personal development? Because I think sometimes they're used interchangeably. So do you think there's a difference?
Ericka: How would you compare the two?
Bernice: I think it can go hand in hand. I think the most important is when it comes to spiritual growth. It [00:09:00] automatically changes you personally. There's no way if you're doing something to grow in yourself with Jesus that you cannot change personally. That means you're not reading the Bible, you're not applying it, you're not doing what it says, you're just looking at it and you're moving on, right?
Bernice: But when you read the word, and you actually apply it to your life and you actually allow the Holy Spirit to work in you, you have to change personally. There's no way about it. It, it automatically tells you, you have to, right? And so, I think when it comes to spiritual growth and when you read your word, and you're really understanding what Jesus is asking you to do and you're allowing him to come in your life, personally, those things in your life that you're struggling with, It will change because you know now I have someone that I'm following and I'm trying to imitate and so you have to get rid of those things that are not like him.
Bernice: You have to purify yourself. You have to do all those things. You have to forgive when you don't want to forgive, right? You have to be patient when you're just like, come on, man, get it together. And you have to do those things because you're trying to imitate someone that died for you and saved your life so that [00:10:00] you could be the light in the world.
Bernice: You know what I mean? And so I think spiritual growth is important. Is the pinnacle where we're trying to reach to and then personally it just follows along It's just kind of like a train right the spiritual growth aspect helps you change personally Yeah, and and I get why people interchange it like it's like it's one of the same but it can't be Changing that means you are you're either doing something different in terms of and this is only applying to based on my perspective of a believer right and so If you are a person who's a christian you claim to be a christian You we're hoping you're reading your word, right and obviously nobody's perfect But if you are reading your word and you're trying to change personally that means something spiritually is changing So it's it's one of the same it has to right?
Bernice: So
Ericka: yeah called to be different at the end of the day. We're called to stand out So there's no way that you can have one without the other. I think that was very Very well said and I also feel like we're in this time this millennial gen z generation really [00:11:00] excites me Well, excites and worries, but we'll, we'll start with the exciting part first.
Ericka: I feel like the church is really entering a new season of young adults being on fire for Christ. I feel like when I was growing up there was a lack. I feel like there was either you had the young kids in church because they just had to be there. And then you had the adults who've already been through it all.
Ericka: And. They're in a completely different season of life and we're missing that young adult, uh, influence in the church because there was just these gaps. I felt like once kids went to high school or really college and they left home, they weren't coming back. They weren't coming back into the church to start their families and start the process all over again.
Ericka: And now I feel like we're in the season where young people are coming back into the church and are on fire for Christ in a very different way. So how do you think the concept of Spirituality differs from this millennial Gen Z generation compared to maybe previous generations that came before us.
Bernice: I think like, when it comes to, I know the older [00:12:00] generation, they were very strict, but you know what I'm going to say, it wasn't, there were obviously flaws to it, but there's reasons why they were strict with it, right?
Bernice: when it comes to the old generation, they were very strict with certain things that didn't allow a lot of room, And so, I think with our generation, the Gen Zs and the Millennials, we are more open minded, I think. And that's allowed us. to really perceive certain things differently. obviously there's flaws to it as well, but when it comes to the spiritual growth and the spirituality and how we're going in, our walk with Christ, we've allowed ourselves to be more vulnerable.
Bernice: The older generation were, they weren't vulnerable.
Ericka: At all. In any aspect of life. Yeah.
Bernice: I'm And so for us, this generation, we're just like, no, we're gonna be honest. We're gonna tell you how it is. This is what we're going through. We are dealing with certain things. We are struggling mentally, right? We haven't prayed in the last week.
Bernice: But I still love my Jesus, okay? I haven't read my
Ericka: Bible this week, but I love him.
Bernice: I still love him. I'm still going back to him, right? I'm not running [00:13:00] away. And so I think that's allowed us to be more open, more vulnerable. And Jesus wants us to be vulnerable. He doesn't want us to hide everything and just pretend like we're ready to go, on fire for him.
Bernice: But deep down inside, we're out in the back, doing The opposite of what he wants us to, or we're dying inside, right? And we're pretending that we're alive. And I think that's the difference, actually, that we're more vulnerable and more transparent. We're more honest with what's actually happening inside of us and how we're dealing with these things.
Bernice: And it's allowed us to do mighty things because people are now can relate. Right? My parents, they're dealing with spiritually because they don't talk about it, right? And so, if my parents were to talk about it at an early age, I think my life, obviously, the way it's going on right now, there's a reason why it happened that way, but I think, like, if they were more vulnerable and transparent with their spiritual growth and their spiritual asking how, like, they're really being honest with Jesus, and honest with their children as well.
Bernice: I think our faith would have been [00:14:00] flourishing faster, because we see that, Hey, you know what, they believe in the same Jesus that I believe in, yet, the Jesus didn't run away because they're so vulnerable and transparent. Right. We don't have to pretend to pray like perfect, you know, so I think that's, that's the major difference tonight and I appreciate the, the transparency and it's coming through different pastors, I think as well too, because the pastors now are getting younger, which could be, so I'm going to say this, it could be good and bad, not going to lie.
Bernice: It could be good on the good side because they're getting younger. There's a lot more. commonality and people can understand and relate to their pastors now. Not that they're 70 years old out here and, uh, talking about 19 something, something, and none of us were born.
Ericka: Those sermons, those sermons used to, used to hit me, man.
Ericka: They used to hurt me. Like, grandma, can we go home? Yeah. don't get it. Right.
Bernice: The fact that pastors are getting a little bit younger, it's allowing our, young people and us. To really relate, right?
Ericka: I think you hit the nail on the head. I think the transparency thing is huge [00:15:00] because, again, I think there was a time where people were trying to live up to this false expectation of what a Christian really was.
Ericka: You know, there were, there were, the don't list and the you can't do list was so, You know, I'm trying to say it just wasn't in tight. It wasn't enticing because it's like, okay, well if I'm not living this perfect lifestyle, then I'm not qualified. I'm not good enough to identify as this. And the reality is like we are called to live in community, right?
Ericka: We're supposed to be around people who can, we can confess our sins to you and that can call us higher and, you know, really surround yourself when you're going through things. So I think. Like you said, it's being more vulnerable and transparent has been huge where we don't have this big gap of okay This disconnect between what it is to be a follower of Christ and being human because we are also human and we will fall short And that's okay.
Ericka: Well, let's talk about it How can we grow from it and how can you be [00:16:00] surrounded by people who are gonna help pull you higher? That's the biggest part.
Bernice: Yeah, I love that. You said it perfectly. I love it
Are you feeling stressed and overwhelmed? Take a few minutes to relax and ground yourself with Reset Your Day podcast. Hi, I'm Marcelle Hutchins and I invite you to join me every week for my mini guided meditations. I will guide you through different types of breathing exercises that will support your individual needs.
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Ericka: So we were talking about, you know, the whole pastors thing and churches going online and social media, like there's also been a shift in culture as well with the influence that social media and technology has had in the churches, right?
Ericka: 2020 came churches are going online left and right. I [00:17:00] discovered myself so many churches that I hadn't heard about before because now everyone's on this online platform. And I was, you know, you're hearing pastors and sermons and you're exposed to all this information. So. It's obviously played a significant role in, how Christianity and being a follower of Jesus is perceived to the masses.
Ericka: So how do you think that these factors, have affected, in terms to like non believers, how do you think social media has affected their perception of religion and spirituality?
Bernice: It all depends on what they're looking at, right, because there's so much, there's so much information and a lot of it is good and then there's the ones that are completely left.
Bernice: And so, as a non believer looking at that, it's hard to discern whether this is the way or it's not the way, right? And so I think now it's a beautiful thing to see that we're able to reach the masses through social media. Like people don't have to. physically be in the church anymore and actually receive the [00:18:00] word because some people They live across the world and they're listening to a sermon from somebody who's living in the States.
Bernice: Right. And so, and that person or that pastor is designed for the person who's living across the world to hear their voice, to share that sermon. Right. And so I think it's a beautiful blessing, but it's also a beautiful curse. Well, not beautiful curse, a horrible curse actually. because the information that we're receiving, there's not a lot of filtering.
Bernice: It's kind of like split up. Just let it be and if it's the truth, it's the truth. It's not what it is what it is, right? And so a lot of the the words in the Bible are getting distorted or twisted and turned and so We don't know what the truth is now. It's not liquefied. It's no more truth in it anymore It's not getting diluted with our own ideas. And so I think the thing about social media is there's no filter, but at the same time, it's also a blessing for people who are actually doing it the right way. Because at the end of the day, God created everything and he created human beings.
Bernice: And so [00:19:00] he gives us these ideas to be used in a way that will bless other people. But because of our own sinful natures and our own pride and our own selfish egos, we now want to do things our own way. And then we start to make people fall off. Because of what we're doing, and we think we're doing it the right way, right?
Bernice: So, I think if, if we can get it right, and we do it right, I can only imagine what it can be for the kingdom, you know? And people are doing it, right? They're using it to promote their brands in terms of, Christian brands and stuff like that. Sermons are getting across the place.
Bernice: People who need that sort encouragement. Verses of the Bible are getting on there, you know what I mean? And so all these new
Ericka: Christian artists,
Bernice: I cannot tell you how many times I've seen like, Oh, who's this person based off of social media. And now I follow them on Spotify or listen to their music.
Bernice: Right. And so. Also, too, you're getting lives, you're getting prayer meetings online, like, all of these things are so crucial for the kingdom. And if only we continue to do it for the kingdom, you can only imagine how far we can get, right? [00:20:00] So.
Ericka: Like you said, there's a lot of haziness that can come with the online world.
Ericka: You don't know what to believe and What's authentic, what's true, what's not. And I think that's the importance of one, praying for a spirit of discernment, right? Being able to discern what's true and what's not. But that spirit comes from reading your word. Girl, you said it. You nailed it.
Ericka: You can listen to as many pastors as you want. all the sermons, you can do all the Bible plans, you know, but if you're not really sitting and meditating and reading with the word and creating a space for God to speak to you. Amen. It's not going to be deep rooted. It's not. So, you know, having a spirit of discernment all of that is just super important, especially in the world of social media, and you have to be able to read your word and to discern what's true from what's not and what's authentic and what's not.
Ericka: But another good thing I wanted to touch on was the music because it's funny. I joke with my non, my, I don't want to call them non Christian, but They're earlier in their relationship with Christ. Right. That's a better word to phrase it. So sometimes when they get in the car now, like I'm playing all these Christian artists.
Ericka: Yeah, like is this a Is this a [00:21:00] God song? This is, what? Right, you know And I think that's also really good for the culture because I feel the same way like you don't always want to be in That praise and worship mode. You don't always want to be in that, you know Surrender great are you Lord moment?
Ericka: Like sometimes you just need a bop You know, a bop was a good message. Yeah, exactly.
Bernice: we're also living in a time where, Self care is a thing, right?
Ericka: Especially post pandemic. Everyone's trying to take care of themselves, which is good, and that's what this podcast is about, right? Exploring different self care practices and finding a way to prioritize yourself. But then, there's also this extreme where I feel like people are taking self care practices and spiritualizing them.
Ericka: And, you know, creating their own, you know, religious activities with these self care practices. and we have to be very careful about that, right? Because I believe meditation, mindfulness, yoga, like all of these things are really good things and they're healthy for us, but they weren't necessarily created to substitute a relationship with Christ.
Ericka: I would love to know your thoughts on that.
Bernice: I [00:22:00] completely, I love how you said it like that. Like, you're right. All of these things are created to help us, right? And, it's always starts with the truth when the truth starts twisting and you you start removing little things here and there and you Start adding your own things And then we start falling away from the truth.
Bernice: That's when it becomes an issue. And so the idea of yoga and mindfulness, it's all pointing towards self, right?
Ericka: But at
Bernice: the end of the day, we're not created for our own self. That's not what we're created for. So when everything begins to turn towards you, that's how you know people are starting to lose their minds because they don't even know where they're going because they're not going to the creator.
Bernice: The person that created them can guide you, right? Like it's like with anything, if you create something, you know what you created it for, so you can guide it, you direct it, you tell it what to do. But when you're focusing, when the creation is focusing on itself, it's like, what am I supposed to do again?
Bernice: How, where am I supposed to go again? I'm lost. I don't know what I'm supposed to be creative for. And so [00:23:00] I think the whole purpose of why people do those things is because they're trying to find something. But if we can just stop and pause and think for a moment, how did I get here? It's through one person and one creator, and that is God, right?
Bernice: And so if we can find ourselves going back to the word, and at the end of the day, the Bible tells us to meditate, but it doesn't say just meditate on your mind, or silence the words in your head. No, it says meditate on the words of the Bible, day and night. So that means you need to chew on it, you need to talk about it, you need to share it, you need to read it, you need to listen to it.
Bernice: All of those things are to help you filter out everything that the enemy is trying to plant in your head. Right and tell you like, yeah, you're amazing. You're great, which is yeah God tells us that all the time, but he doesn't he doesn't boast us to that right? He doesn't use time He doesn't tell us you you're great.
Bernice: You're amazing. No, he doesn't always say that right? He commands us to do certain things that will get this to a destination and that is to [00:24:00] fulfill our assignment on this planet Right and that's to further the kingdom and at the end of day, there's always a reward with God He doesn't just do it Take from you.
Bernice: He gives to you, right? He's a giving god. He's a giving father. So I think Mindfulness and the yoga practices and all those things. Yeah, we can use it to help our bodies to help our ourselves to Relax or whatever the case is, but I think when you do it where you're just focusing on yourself all the time You're going to come to the point where you feel like it's not even working anymore, right?
Bernice: You're not focusing on something that will help you and I think when we read the bible You When you use the word to help you through your day and you meditate on it, you'll find that there's a huge difference. Rather than trying to quiet your mind, there's a huge difference. And I can attest to this too.
Bernice: I remember there's days when I read my Bible, my whole day shifts. I can just sense it by the end of the night. I can just send to like, okay, that was hard, but I still don't feel like defeated. Whereas if I didn't read my Bible, I'm telling you, I go home [00:25:00] thinking about like, I can't do this.
Bernice: I'm never going to do this again. I need to quit. I need to stop. I'm done. Like I tap out, that's it. You know? And so I just say, go back to the word. and use that to help you and guide you. It is our light, right? It's our guide. And I think once you fall off of it, everything else shifts, right?
Ericka: there were so many good things that you said more wanted to touch on. correction and purpose, I think are two huge things that I wanted to touch on based on what you said. We definitely serve a God that is just so loving that he wants to bless.
Ericka: I think sometimes based on prior teachings are prior exposure, whatever your relationship with Christ has been, there's this view that there, again, like the do's and the don'ts outweighs the good that he wants for us. So we paint this negative picture of, you know, he's a God that doesn't want to bless.
Ericka: He just wants to condemn. And it's like, no, he wants to correct.
Bernice: Right.
Ericka: And it's correcting from a loving place. You know, he wants to call you out of your sin. He wants to convict you. He wants to reveal certain things in [00:26:00] you so that when you're in that moment and you feel your heart racing and you just feel off and something doesn't feel right, it's conviction.
Ericka: It's not condemnation, you know, and there's a way to lovingly correct people. And I think that's another thing because even outside of the spirituality side of things, I don't think people take correction. Well, people get very defensive when you when things are called out on them and it's just a defense mechanism to kind of just block it out and not want to receive any truth that comes with that.
Ericka: So I think we also have to get back to a place where we can correct people from a place that's coming from love so that we can start working on this hyper defense culture that we're in, number one. And then number two, again, I feel like where I feel like everyone's trying to pursue their purpose. I feel like when I talk to people nowadays, it's, I need to find my passion and my purpose and what I'm put on this earth for.
Ericka: And like you said, so beautifully, have you gotten in touch with your creator? You're trying to figure out what you're calling to create in this world is, [00:27:00] but you haven't consulted your creator. Make it make sense to me. Yeah. Come
Bernice: on.
Bernice: I just think about, like, just with everything in this world, there was somebody who created it.
Bernice: like, when it comes to, just the lights. Somebody created it for a reason, because there's something that was missing. They couldn't see in the dark, so they needed a light bulb. Now, the light bulb couldn't tell the creator, hey, this is what I'm supposed to be doing. It can't, because it wasn't created for that.
Bernice: Right? It didn't know what it was created for. The only reason why it knows its purpose is because the creator defined it. And so, if you're not going back to the person who defined you, you're going to get defined by something else. It's just, that's how it is. We all need to be defined, right?
Bernice: And so, I think the reality is that we think that We can define ourselves, but we can't because we don't know what we're here for until you go back to the creator,
Ericka: And I think we're in a society where everything is just so fluid, right? I'm not saying inclusivity is bad, but we want to make everything seem like it's okay.
Ericka: And [00:28:00] we can't. Do that. Because there's an order to things. Without order, there's chaos. So we're wondering why we feel like the world is a lot more stressful and chaotic than it was X amount of years ago. The reality is it's because we're losing the order, the structure, and those things were in place for a reason.
Ericka: And again, not saying inclusivity and all those things are bad concepts, but within a confined context,
Ericka: everything is not for everyone. So that kind of brings me to my next question where I society places a lot of pressure, on us to conform. And it's hard.
Ericka: It's hard to be a Christian in a world that's really pushing you to conform to societal standards. So I would love to know about any situations or your thoughts or experiences that you've had where you've had to navigate seasons like that and be able to stand strong or even if you faltered how did you [00:29:00] come back for it?
Ericka: Like what was that like for you?
Bernice: Yeah, I think honestly just just with my parents To be honest. so my background is in Nigerian. And so when it comes to the culture, There's only like three or four things that you can really become, right? There's not much. There's not much that is that, right? The doctor, the lawyer, maybe the business person or accountant or whatever the case is.
Bernice: It's a Caribbean
Ericka: thing too, girl. It's all the same.
Bernice: and so for me, my parents always like, I knew when I was younger, I would say, Yeah, I want to become a doctor, but that wasn't my own thing because parents always did that.
Bernice: Like, you're great. You're really smart. So you should become a doctor. and so going into high school, I took kinesiology and then when I got into kinesiology, girl, that thing shook me. It's just me! no, I have to do this. Like, it's a must. I need to complete it.
Bernice: I need to finish it. The fact is that I did kinesiology. My grades were not it. And I got kicked out of my program because of that and I got dropped to [00:30:00] psychology. Now, if I was conforming and continue to conform into that, it's only by the grace of God that I continue to, to psychology. But if I was like, no, I need to become this because If I don't, I'm not going to become anything.
Bernice: I'm telling you right now, I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing right now for a fact. Yeah. Anyway, I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing. And I humbled myself. I humbled myself and I said, God, you know what? There's a reason why you dropped me to this level. There's a reason why you put me in this lane in terms of psychology and let me finish with psychology because you have a plan for me and the direction that you need me to go.
Bernice: If I continue to follow my parents. Trend i'm telling you right now. I wouldn't be a believer for sure I would have had no community at all because i'm i'm like surrounded by just making sure I finish I finish I would have been miserable and I probably would have been resentful because I wasn't following The passion or the fire that god has put inside of me I'm gonna say this again.
Bernice: Do not conform Do not conform to this pattern of this world, especially if you're a believer There's absolutely [00:31:00] nothing that comes from it because we are supposed to follow jesus. He is the light the only light this world It's not even our home. So this world has nothing for us The goal is to get to heaven.
Bernice: The goal is to please the father The goal is to represent him here, but this is not our home
Bernice: everybody has an assignment.
Bernice: Everybody's assigned two people You There's how many people in this world? Like seven billion. So imagine if all of us actually allowed ourselves for God to work in us, how this world would look like. If you were following the creator and his order and you followed your assignment, what this world would look like if we just followed his order.
Bernice: it's so important not to conform to it. It has nothing for us. No money. Okay, great. But the provider will provide. Right? You need opportunities? He will provide. Right? Everything that you need, he will provide. All he asks is obedience. And after that, the door is [00:32:00] open, right?
Bernice: I'm telling you right now, He will never, ever, ever fail you. He's too good of a god to just kind of be like, yeah, you know what you prayed once that's fine.
Bernice: Oh
Ericka: and heavy on the obedience part I feel like that's the hardest that's the hardest thing Oh, yeah, obviously obedience is not easy. But I think the beautiful part about it is I was also I make so many social media references, but there was something a post I saw on Instagram and it was like You know, God already accounted for all of your mistakes.
Ericka: He already accounted for all of your, your off tracks. He already accounted for that. And we all have that thing inside of us. We all have a calling. Let's make that very clear. We all have a purpose on this earth. Every day that you wake up and there's breath in your lungs, it's because you have a purpose.
Ericka: Right. First and foremost. Yeah. But even when we go off track and we do our own thing and we come back, because it happens, even as a seasoned believer, you will still go off track. Right. That's a part of the journey and you got to reel it back in to some capacity. But it's understanding that obedience is not [00:33:00] easy.
Ericka: We have a purpose. And it's pursuing that in a way that's in alignment with what we're called to do, which comes from reading your word. Like it's all connected. and it blows my mind sometimes that we serve such a, Good God who doesn't make mistakes where like even thinking to the, to the simple things of like how our bodies are composed and how the blood vessels in the cells and everything came together.
Ericka: You can't tell me, you cannot tell me that that was just By a coincidence. Yeah. the math is not mathing. It's not.
Bernice: On that. It's not. It's
Ericka: And then going back to the order of everything, it's funny because I was on Twitter. there was a tweet, and it was, asking people like, Oh, do you see now why God said to wait until marriage to have sex? And girl, I was in that comment section lurking, lurking. And it was just so eyeopening for me to see how many people were actually in [00:34:00] agreement.
Ericka: Like, yeah. I can see why. And just people being very open, going back to the openness of this generation and sharing their experiences and how certain things cloud judgment. And when you start doing things out of order, again, you know, again, no shade to anyone, you know, single parents or people who are doing things before marriage, like we get it, you know, it happens.
Ericka: But like when you do things in God's order. Things tend to flow a lot better. Like it was designed that way for a reason. And once we start going counter to that, that's when the havoc breaks loose. And we have to be cognitive of that because again if we can't, and then to see how some people again get so defensive when their actions are addressed, even in a loving and a caring way or brought to light, it's like we cannot grow, we cannot evolve as a people if we're not Willing to shine light on certain things and have certain conversations and I think that's also something that's very special [00:35:00] about this generation is that we are willing to have some of these conversations.
Bernice: Yeah.
Ericka: And even if you're loud and wrong, you know, at least we're talking about it. Yeah, yeah,
Bernice: yeah. And it's true, like, there's a flow with everything. There's a flow, right? And so we just have to follow the flow. And if we don't, like you said, There's havoc.
Bernice: And so now, that havoc, and this is where the self care comes in too, right? Like, now we have to go do our self care, and go back.
Ericka: Mm
Bernice: Go back and, and talk to people and have those, those tough conversations that we didn't really have to do that if we just followed the order, right? And so now we have to unlearn everything.
Bernice: We wouldn't
Ericka: have all the trauma if we just followed the order.
Bernice: You know? and the beautiful thing is like his grace is, is sufficient. Like no matter what you do, he's already counted for that. And so obviously like we said, there's no condemnation. All of this is from love and we want people to live a life that is full, not partial, not [00:36:00] stressful, not traumatic.
Bernice: We want a full life and he wants us to have a full life. And so if you're not allowing him to come in and, you know, direct your steps, then you're going to start doing all these things that you didn't need to do. And now we're going backwards, right? So.
Ericka: And you touched on it a little bit earlier. you know, we are in a season where, or a space where there's a strong emphasis on, mental health and, being self aware and well being.
Ericka: How do you think that spirituality contributes to mental wellness and overall personal development?
Bernice: honestly. It's kept my mind. It's kept my mind. I think, during the pandemic, it's like when a lot of it, it blew off the covers of a lot of people that are going through things.
Bernice: And it kind of highlighted it and it shone light on people going through difficult things now because everybody's stuck at home, right? And so for me, without God, I'm telling you right now, I would have lost my mind. In terms of everything that I've gone through and it's not because, I prayed or [00:37:00] whatever the case is, but you read the stories in the Bible and you find yourself in that story somehow, some way, because people have gone through things, difficult things, difficult situations that are similar to your story.
Bernice: And you, you realize how they went back to God or how God redeemed them or God, how God restored them. And so you look at that and you're just like, okay, God, if you did this for them, you most likely can do it for me. the book of songs is like one of the best books ever in the word.
Bernice: that alone, if you read that every single day, you would find yourself literally praising and singing. Cause it's from laments. to heartbreak, to, joy, to praise, there's so much in there. Every emotion you can think of, every situation you can think of is in that book.
Bernice: And so if God has restored, redeemed, and this person has gone through everything. And yet at the end of every song, he comes back and says, yeah, I will praise you yet. I will bless your name. there's no way that I'll do the same. Right. And [00:38:00] so I think when it comes to mental health, it's. And it's very sad because the enemy is using that as a gateway, a door to lock people in and it's not a simple thing to overcome.
Bernice: It's not just one prayer, right? It's not just, Oh, just get over it or just sleep it off. Like people actually are struggling with these things. Yes. Jesus and therapy. Go do what you need to do. And and seek out the therapy and seek out the help that you need to seek out But also trust god that he will lead you and guide you as you're going through the season of your life And he will guide you out of it, too And at the end of the day you can overcome it and give you that peace of mind that he Says he wants to give you right
Ericka: and it's funny I was having this conversation with someone else the other day and we were debating whether mental health issues are You more common now because we weren't aware of what they were in the past or are people just going through more nowadays.
Ericka: Like what the difference between that is like anxiety and depression. All of these [00:39:00] things have existed, right? Do we see it an all time high now because we're just talking about it more and we're just more aware of what it is or did it just not exist in the same capacity before?
Ericka: And girl, that was deep. I had to sit there and think about that. But I think that. There's just so much going on in the world and like you said the enemy has just so much more to play off of nowadays where I feel like there is a very strong chance that the attacks are more intense than they may have been before because we are so So exposed and I think the Bible is very clear about protecting our minds and our hearts and hence why The content we consume and the people we spend time with are very important I remember, you know growing up in my in my household My grandma would always be like, you know birth of a feather flock together I'd be like, you know, I can hang out with these people and not be like that
Bernice: Yep.
Ericka: Girl, shut up. Come on. [00:40:00] Have a seat. Bring it down, because that's not true. You know, and it's like, oh, I can listen to that music and, you know, it doesn't have an impact on me. I'm just singing it for the words. Come on. Baby girl, it's alright, we can be honest. And I don't say that in a negative way because I've been there.
Ericka: You know, I can sing these lyrics, rap these things, curse these things, and be like, oh yeah, like, that's fine. But there's a subconscious nature to it that we have to be cognitive and very, very careful of. Yeah.
Ericka: It's funny One day I was out with my friends and we're at brunch and it was you know It's a little booze hot girl brunch and you know city girl city girls playing in the background or whatever And you know, they have that song, you know real be give a f about it in or whatever And i'm like girl you are married.
Ericka: You are a wife have a seat What are you saying?
Bernice: Come on
Ericka: and the the conviction in that moment And it was so funny because my friend saw it because I was over here like doing my thing And I literally and I literally just froze And the conviction in that moment was Yeah Let me just [00:41:00] take a seat and he got me all the way together I was having a whole conversation with myself in my head at the brunch Like I was having such a moment and my friend was like, are you are you okay? And I was like Yeah, snatched my whole spirit in that moment.
Ericka: You
Bernice: And that's how it works, and that's how it is. I do the same thing. I'm out here, even the radio, like, I'll be driving, and sometimes the radio that I listen to, I'm like, this song is boring, let me switch, and I'm like, okay, this one is good, even though I don't really like the words, it's fine, and then next thing you know, 10, 15 minutes, I'm doing something, and the song is playing in my head.
Bernice: I'm like, I put, I wasn't even, I don't even know the words, but the song is playing in my head. And so you can only imagine if you continued that route, like, Hey, it's not really, it's not going to do anything to me. It will, it will. So whatever you feed yourself, you have to digest it.
Bernice: And so it's just being careful with what you intake and being very sensitive to things around you.
Ericka: Exactly. And if you're not allowing yourself to be convicted and then [00:42:00] corrected, you are opening up your mental health to things that are not of this world. Okay?
Ericka: Because we are not fighting just an earthly fight, you know? We are fighting a spiritual battle every day, regardless of your belief system, regardless of where you're at with your walk. We are in a spiritual fight daily.
Bernice: Yep. regardless of what you believe, we are fighting.
Bernice: spiritually. It cannot just be the world, right? So once again, be careful what you intake because you are opening doors and we don't want those doors open.
Ericka: Yeah. And we want to grow. I feel like we're in this, this era where everyone wants to evolve, right? Everyone's growing, everyone's evolving. And I think that's great, you know, but let's just make sure that we are doing so across the board, right?
Ericka: There are multiple aspects where you can grow and evolve in your relationships and your finance. Spiritually, mentally, emotionally. There are so many different aspects of our well being that need to be [00:43:00] tended to. Spirituality being one of them, probably the most important. You know, but we can't pick and choose what we want to work on.
Ericka: And I think it's a daily decision, every day, to do a small thing that helps you grow in each area. So that could be, you know, starting off your day with, you know, a 10 minute Bible plan. Listen, our daily bread, they have Three minute little snippets that you can just play in the car just to, just to get a little something going, especially if you're just starting on your walk and then it can just be going for a little walk for your lunch.
Ericka: If you can't make it to the gym and then maybe coming home and not turning on the TV or scrolling on social media, as soon as you get off work, it's these little pockets of our day that we create that help us elevate our overall wellbeing. And that comes with being intentional. But as we kind of wrap up a little bit, my main question is, what advice would you give to someone who wants to enhance both their spiritual growth and personal development [00:44:00] simultaneously, if you think that's possible?
Bernice: I think where you can start is like identifying the areas that you want to grow personally. And because I have this book, it's a, I think it's a topical study book, whatever the case is, so it has all the different topics of the Bible. Every topic you can probably think of, it's in that. And so, identify one or two areas of your life that you're just like, hey, I want to grow in this.
Bernice: That's the area I want to grow in and do a topical study research and start with that and it's small because it will give you specific scriptures that are tailored to that specific personal area of your life that you want to grow in. So if it comes down to character, Research what character is about.
Bernice: What does the word say about your character? How does God define character? What people in the Bible are characters that you want to have? And so start with that. And from there, you can continue to that same cycle. But I think it's just trusting the Holy Spirit. And if you are a believer, trusting the Holy Spirit, like pray to the Holy Spirit and ask, like, search me.[00:45:00]
Bernice: I like those areas of my life that want me to grow in. Specifically in this season because yeah, there's so many other things in your life that you have to grow in But specifically in the season because he needs you to do something Right to get to the next level or get to the next opportunity There's one thing you're like that you need to change and so ask the Holy Spirit to identify those things inside of you And once you get that inclination, yeah, maybe it's um my patience like I have zero tolerance But God wants to do something with you, but your patience is like It's zero.
Bernice: And so if you're not patient, do these things that he's calling you to do because he needs you to be patient because you're going to be tried. You're going to be tested. They're going to test your patience. And so if you're not, he's going to
Ericka: create a lot more situations for you to exude patients. Come on.
Bernice: Right. And so for me this season, I was like, God, my faith needs to be increased like crazy. That's an area of my life that I'm like, personally, I want to grow in.
Bernice: And I knew that there's something that I needed to do in terms of my faith to be increased. Cause I know [00:46:00] God wants to take me somewhere else. And the only way I can get there is with my faith. Is up there, right? Because there's been situations where I have to trust in. And so I just say start with a topical study.
Bernice: Start with one area in life that you're like, Hey, I really want to grow in this area. Ask the Holy Spirit to direct you and guide you. And start there. And from there, I'm telling you right now, you will begin to understand and Like, hey, yeah, okay, I get this or this is the area that I want to grow in or I want to understand how to build this area of my life.
Bernice: And so start with that.
Ericka: I think that's a great homework assignment for everyone, you know, yeah. Like asking the Holy Spirit to search you and identify, you know, two to three areas that you think you can improve in and then refer back to your word
Ericka: I want to switch gears just a little bit as we wrap up, but you are also the co host of your own podcast.
Ericka: You guys are kingdom building, So I was doing some research and juxtaposition is the, by definition, the act of placing two elements close together or side by side to compare or contrast the two. [00:47:00] So one, I want to know a little bit about your show. What'd you guys talk about? I want to know why you chose the name.
Ericka: What's the mission of the show? Give me some context.
Bernice: So let's start with the name. So our name came, it was just a whole situation. So many names, like we had so many names and they were all bad. I can't even say them because they're just horrible. but when we got to the, the word, the juxtaposition, we want something very unique.
Bernice: We didn't think it would be that name to be honest, but we want something very unique. And we knew that we wanted to bring Christ into culture. That was our number one goal is that we wanted Christ to be the center of it all in the midst of our culture, because we are We I don't know if I'm, yeah, millennials, I think that's the generation we are,
Ericka: but Yeah, millennials, trans years, they, yeah, like, all that,
Bernice: and so culture is a big thing for us. And within my friends, it's like, hip hop and it comes to food and it comes to me, whatever the case is, culture is, it's in us, it's in our being. And so, but as believers, we're not you're supposed to be conformed to this pattern of this world, right? [00:48:00] So the whole point was to compare and contrast culture and Christ and showing that which way is the better way is Christ way, right?
Bernice: And so if you put it side by side, every time you compare culture and how culture does things and how you compare and how God does things, it always proves that God's way is the best way. And it always proves at the end of the day, there's more blessings out of it when you follow his way. So Yeah, our mission is for people's hearts to be opened, for their hearts to be touched, their minds to be opened, and their souls to be nourished.
Bernice: So as they listen, as they hear, as they watch, Is that something inside of them gets renewed, something inside of them gets restored, something inside of them gets convicted or challenged, and then they believe.
Bernice: If that is one thing that we want is for people to come to Christ. To know Christ. Yeah.
Ericka: No, that's amazing. You guys are really doing kingdom work and I really wanted to share that with you because having these conversations is not easy. Mm-Hmm. creating a platform dedicated for these [00:49:00] conversations also not easy.
Ericka: They come under a lot of scrutiny. and I feel like in today's day and age, when you, speak about your faith or Jesus or Christ, I feel like people now all of a sudden wanna hold you to this unrealistic standard. Yeah. where, you know, it's like, okay, well now you have to be perfect to talk about Christ.
Ericka: And it's like, well, no, I'm just being honest and we're having honest conversations. I never claimed to be perfect, but here we are, you know? So I, I commend you guys so much for, for taking that route. And I love your guys show. I listened to two episodes already and you guys have now been added. You guys have now been added to my weekly rotation.
Ericka: So I will be, I will be tuning in. but I just wanted to let you guys know that I think what you all are doing is super, super cool and. Just kudos to you all around the board. we covered a lot of things today in this conversation. And I'd want to know what is the main takeaway that you would want someone to hear?
Ericka: to receive from this episode?
Bernice: I think the one thing, and I think it just keeps sticking out to me, is that go back [00:50:00] to the person that created you. Go back and find him. And release your life to him, because he holds it. And if there's nothing else that you can remember, nothing else that comes to mind, is that the only way that you can fully, fully live a full life on this earth is by going back to the person who created you and that is God and God alone and Releasing your life into his son's hand Jesus and letting him guide you and if that is it That's all you need to do.
Ericka: That's beautiful. outside of spirituality, I always have to ask this question. What is your top tier self care secret?
Bernice: can't
Ericka: nobody touch it.
Bernice: I love self care. skin care. girl. one thing for me is my skin. I love taking the time when it's, I'm done the shower, do the whole face thing. I get facials. Don't talk to me. Once a month, I got to,
Ericka: Faithfully.
Bernice: Like, I love skincare. I love skincare and it's [00:51:00] like, that makes me so happy just seeing, it's, cause people look at you, and it's not just about the physical image, but I want people to see me and like, it's radiating light.
Bernice: Like my face is radiating light so that gives you joy, but I skincare and also working out that too. I just
Ericka: That's like lower down though. Like yeah It's like a little lower down Right
Ericka: another skincare girly
Ericka: Where can people connect with you online, learn more about your podcast and anything else you have going on?
Bernice: Um, so we are on Instagram and Instagram, we are the Juxtaposition Podcast Underscore. Because somebody else had our name, so we had to put the underscore. So, the Juxtaposition Podcast Underscore. And you can find us literally Yeah, once you go on Instagram, all the links are all there. So, just click the link in our bio. And you can find us on YouTube as well.
Bernice: The Juxtaposition Podcast. Spotify, Google, you name it, we're everywhere. So, yeah!
Ericka: And make sure you listen, y'all. They are really talking for the culture, like, definitely worth a listen, and we will have everything linked below, so easy access.
Bernice: [00:52:00] Thank you so much.
That's a wrap for today's episode. All of Bernice's information as well as the links to the Just a Position podcast will be linked down below. I hope you feel inspired. After this conversation, I hope you feel seen, and that you feel inspired to be bold in your faith in this season. Make sure to leave a rating and review if you found this conversation helpful.
Speaker: Follow us on all social media platforms at behind the silk pod. And remember that the best part of today is you.