083: Trusting God's Plan Over A Birth Plan (with Poem Nicholson)

When you’ve always pictured having a home birth, but after 48 hours of labor you decide to transfer to the hospital, you think you’d be disappointed or possibly even traumatized in some way-but that’s not Poem’s story. See how she was able to keep her hands open in a posture of surrender to the Lord with every detail of her birth, and how His peace and His presence trumped anything else she was feeling, and how grateful she was to be living in His will, even if that meant not having a home birth. So much so, that she’s already ready to do it all over again! 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:01

The act of laboring and giving birth is like a form of worship, like no other. Like never ever in my life have I ever focused on something, like meditated almost on something with every single cell of my body so hard. Just to give, to give your all to something like that is so beautiful and totally unto the glory of God. And when I look back, I just think that was communing with the Lord.

SPEAKER_00 0:35

Hi, I'm Kayla Heater, follower of Jesus, wife and mother of five children, Christian childbirth educator in doula, and your host of the Surrendered Birth Stories Podcast, where we share God-centered birth stories, evidence-based birth education, and our pursuit of surrendering our birth plans to God. Let's get started. Happy spring, everyone. Spring is here, officially, like on the calendar, and also weather-wise, it's just been so beautiful lately. 60s, 70s, sunny, and perfect with a little rain here and there, but it's it's been lovely. I hope it's been lovely as well wherever you are listening from. Okay, two things I need from you guys. Two things. First up is reviews. All right. Reviews. I'm sorry if you have left a review and you listen every week and you're tired of hearing this. But we're averaging about one review a month right now, and I'd really love to see that increase significantly. Um, but at least maybe one a week would be amazing. It's so easy. On Apple Podcasts, all you have to do is scroll down to where it says write a review. It says rating and reviews, and then right underneath of that, you'll see people's reviews, and then it says write a review. And you click on it, it takes like a minute or less, and it helps this podcast so much. It's something totally free you can do to help this podcast because the more reviews there are, the more chances there are that this podcast will pop up for somebody else who's looking for it. So that would be super helpful. Thank you so much in advance, and I can't wait to read the newest review that I will hopefully be able to read on next week's episode. Okay, the second thing I need from you guys is more birth stories. Okay. More birth stories. Believe it or not, I don't have an endless supply of these. And you can't just ask any old person on the street because, first of all, not everyone's a Christian. And second of all, not everybody wants to share their birth story. But I promise it's a lot easier than it seems. It's just like having a conversation. I always tell people who are a little nervous, I say, just pretend I'm sitting on your couch and we're drinking a cup of coffee and you're just telling me about your birth because that's basically all we're doing. So I usually have several booked out and lined up, but right now I only have two, which to me is like not enough at all. So I need some more birth stories. So if you know somebody who has a birth story or multiple birth stories that they would want to share and they love Jesus and believe in Jesus, then send them my way. There is a link in the episode show notes of every single episode where it asks if you want to share your story. So all you have to do is click on that link. It says interested in sharing your story on the podcast, click here. It's as simple as that. You fill out a super short form and it comes straight to me, and then I will reach out to you about getting your recording scheduled. So please, please, please, we need some more birth stories, um, whether it's yours or a friend's or even, guys, this is not limited by age. It doesn't have to be somebody who's just had a baby just now. Um, I think it's fascinating to learn about people's birth stories who didn't just recently had a baby. You know, my parents' generation, my grandparents' generation, I always think whenever we can hear a birth story and learn from it, that is a win, especially when Jesus is at the center of it. So send those birth stories my way because I know other women and men even are truly benefiting from this podcast, and I want to do everything in my effort to keep it going. So send birth stories my way and write a review. Those are your two assignments this week. Okay. Let's get into this week's episode. When you've always pictured having a home birth, but after 48 hours of labor, you decide to transfer to the hospital, you think you'd be disappointed or possibly even traumatized in some way. But that's not Poem's story. See how she was able to keep her hands open in a posture of surrender to the Lord with every detail of her birth, and how his peace and his presence trumped anything else she was feeling, and how grateful she was to be living in his will, even if that meant not having a home birth. So much so that she's already ready to do it all over again. Welcome to another episode of Surrendered Birth Stories. I am your host, Kayla Heater, and I have Poem with me today. And I'm and I'm super excited to hear your story. Poem was um in my childbirth class last summer, and so it is always so much fun to have students come back and share their experiences, which I'm very much looking forward to. So, Poem, take a minute, just introduce yourself, tell us about you and your family and your life so everybody else can get to know you.

SPEAKER_02 6:10

Yeah. Um, yeah, so my name is Poem. I I live in Tobacoville, North Carolina, so right outside of Winston-Salem. And I'm originally from Michigan, actually. Moved here about three and a half years ago, um, and found my husband. We got married right away, and now I'm here for good. Um, but yes, my family has they own a farm here in Tobacoville, uh, or my my husband's family, and we just love it out here so much. We we actually just bought a new home. Um, and we decided because we we were looking all over North Carolina and we were like, we just love it here, we don't want to go anywhere else. So we're staying here. Um, I am 25 years old, just had my first baby, and just kind of figuring out how to be a mom. That's kind of what I'm doing right now.

SPEAKER_00 7:12

Well, that's a good place to be. It's kind of what I was when I was 25. I was just become a mom and figuring out how to be a mom. So I can totally relate to that. Yeah. Cool. I didn't know you were from Michigan, I guess. I'm from Ohio. And so I'm always like, oh, wonder how which brought you down here. But so did you meet your husband first and then move down here, or did you move down here and then meet your husband?

SPEAKER_02 7:38

I moved down here and then I met him.

SPEAKER_00 7:40

And why did you move down here?

SPEAKER_02 7:42

So I moved here originally for a pottery apprenticeship. I worked in with a potter in Randleman, North Carolina, and just for a few months. And I actually knew my husband's sister first. She was my friend. We had lived together abroad. So her family was the only people that I knew here. And when I got this apprenticeship, I reached out to them and I was like, hey, do you think I could live with y'all for a few months? And so the first day that I came, I met my husband that first day, and it was like immediate sparks were flying four months later. We were engaged.

SPEAKER_00 8:21

Wow. That's so cool.

SPEAKER_02 8:23

So you're a potter too? I am, yes. I've taken quite quite a break with being pregnant. Yeah. So I haven't I haven't made anything in a while, but I'm excited to get back to it.

SPEAKER_00 8:35

That's so cool. That's on my, I don't want to say bucket list, that's on my list of things to learn because my mama, she used to make these gorgeous pieces, like handcrafted all these like super extravagant decorations for like Halloween and Christmas. And she would make those Christmas trees that you put all the little lights in. And she would make like these haunted houses, and she would like paint them so intricately and make all these little pieces to go with them. And I still have all of them, and so do like my cousins and my aunts and uncles and everything. And it, anyways, I'm like getting way off topic here, but that is cool. I want to learn how to do that.

SPEAKER_02 9:19

I'm I'm gonna start doing some workshops soon, so you'll have to come on out.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

Cool. Gosh, I would love that. Yeah, okay, awesome. I know we're here to talk about birth, but I always think it's fun to hear about a person's life too, like outside of that. All right. So then you met your husband, four months later, you were engaged. I'm guessing it wasn't a very long engagement. Four months later. Okay, so then you're married. So then from when you got married, then how long was it until you got pregnant? And what was that story? Was this like a super intentional we want to get pregnant right away? Or was this like a um, whoa, whoa, we're pregnant. Surprise! Like, what's the story there?

SPEAKER_02 10:02

So it was almost two years from when we got married to when we got pregnant. And honestly, I mean, we were open to it, like we weren't intentionally trying to have a baby, but I also had stopped taking birth control and was like loosely doing natural family planning. It's kind of like we knew inevitably, yeah, it was gonna happen. Um, but yeah, so it was it was very shocking. Like, I'll I remember the moment I took the test was with my husband. We were both there waiting for the three minutes and just utter shock. Like, there were I I don't even think we said a word for like five minutes, just could not believe that that was possible. But um, but so happy. Like there was no, yeah, I was not sad at all. I was just purely joyful. The only emotion that was maybe not so great was I was a little nervous about finances. I had no clue like how much does it cost to have a baby?

SPEAKER_00 11:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:07

And we didn't really have health insurance, you know. So we were like, oh my gosh, what do we do now? But you know, of course, everything works out, and it did.

SPEAKER_00 11:17

Great. So how did the pregnancy go then? Was it smooth? Were there any hiccups or anything along the way? Did you feel okay?

SPEAKER_02 11:26

Yeah, I actually had a great pregnancy. I totally understand that some women have difficult pregnancies, but I was like, this is great. People are so much nicer to me. I felt I felt great. I was not, I barely had any nausea and yeah, didn't really have any complications. So I just like looked cute, had a cute little belly, and people were nice to me. It was wonderful. We did um a lot happened while I was pregnant. Like we sold our house, moved two different times into two different rental homes. We had a really tragic loss in my family, and so a lot happened during my my pregnancy, but God was so near and so faithful that I it was a beautiful pregnancy. Maybe that's why it was such an easy one because there was so much going on. God was like, You don't need a crazy pregnancy.

SPEAKER_00 12:20

Yeah, it's like giving you all the grace in that season. Yeah. So how did you figure out your care? Did you go see an OBGYN? Did you try and find a midwife? How did you go about deciding who your care provider would be and where you would deliver?

SPEAKER_02 12:38

So I before I'd gotten pregnant, I had always kind of loved the idea of a home birth and natural unmedicated birth. But I kind of always wondered too. I was like, hey, when I get pregnant, will I still feel this way or will I be overcome with fear? But as soon as I got pregnant, I just started looking around, researching. I knew nothing about how that process worked. And I just started praying about what where did I feel the most peace when I envisioned giving birth? Um, and ultimately it I settled on a home birth with a CNM. And so I scoured the internet looking for a midwife and information, found lots of uh I was very, very surprised to find lots of like hippie people out there. Well, I guess that's not surprising, but like some midwives that I was like, are you using crystals during your like some new agey, yeah? Yes, yeah, yeah. Um, and then also was ultimately searching for a Christian midwife. Um, because I just wanted that time, that moment to be real sacred and holy. And I did find a midwife. Um, but it was very difficult, actually. There's there was no like the closest care that I could find was about an hour, almost an hour and a half away. So thank the Lord that she would travel to me.

SPEAKER_00 14:08

That's so you ended up finding her online then?

SPEAKER_02 14:10

Yeah, I did.

SPEAKER_00 14:11

Well, great. I mean, I know that's especially in North Carolina, it's a tricky, tricky thing going about finding a home birth midwife, and then let alone like a Christian home birth midwife, which I'm totally with you. I when I'm giving birth, like I don't want anyone in the room who isn't all in for Jesus, or I'm like, I don't I don't need that. Yeah. So yeah. Did you like read any books or anything? Like, I mean, this is your first baby. So I mean, yes, you did. I already said you took my class, which I think was great. And I think that was a good choice for preparation. Um, but did you do anything else like leading up to the birth to prepare? I mean, this is your first birth, and it's a natural birth, like home birth. So, what did your prep work look like?

SPEAKER_02 14:59

So my personality is one full of confidence and zero fear. So I did not read a single book, I did not look up really pretty much anything. I I'm so glad I took your class. My midwife was like, Poem, you need to you need to know something. You need to go, you need to go learn at least the phases of labor. Like you need to go. But um, and I'm so thankful for that class, especially because we'll get to it later. But but yeah, I I did not research pretty much anything. And I and it's totally my personality that if I feel in my gut like this is, you know, I I I feel like in my spirit I want to have a medic unmedicated home birth. I'm just gonna do it. I don't need to know much about it. I don't even want to like it almost stresses me out to start to research.

SPEAKER_00 15:53

To know more.

SPEAKER_02 15:53

Yeah, because I'm like, there's too much that I'll never know. I'm just I'm just gonna do it.

SPEAKER_00 16:00

Well, that is one way to go about it. There are people like that, and then there are the other people who are like, I need to know every single thing. And they spend like hours and hours and days and days and weeks and weeks researching all the things, which is good in one sense, but then also, you know, there's too much of a good thing to okay. So take us to the labor then. How did labor start and how far along were you, and all those things?

SPEAKER_02 16:25

So I was 38 weeks, and I think four days when my water broke.

SPEAKER_00 16:32

Dun dun dun.

SPEAKER_02 16:35

And I was so excited, I thought, wow, I am just the chosen one. Like, this is so rare, and this is gonna be, I was made for this. Well, I we aren't all made for this, but I just thought, like, this is gonna be an easy birth. Come on, let's go. Water proof, I'm going early. Like, this is the perfect setup. Um, three days later, out comes my daughter. So my water broke, and my contraction started pretty quickly after I think it was maybe like an hour or two. Um, that contraction started, but I was kind of able to, you know, early labor, I was able to rest a little bit that night. Um, my water broke at like 7 p.m. And so you know, trying to get some sleep, going through some little exciting contractions first ever through that night. And my midwife was like, okay, so great, your water broke. Most places want your baby out by 24 hours after your water is broken. Let's, you know, let's try. Let's let's really like when you wake up in the morning, start walking around, let's get some progress going. And so I did that first day, you know, I was contracting probably every like 10 minutes. And it wasn't crazy, you know, it was it was very doable. Um, because my I actually live across the street right now from my in-laws with the farm. So I was able to walk all around the farm and um really sweet time with my husband. And by the time that we were nearing that 24-hour mark, my contractions had really, really picked up. Like, I I don't remember how close together they were, but I it was enough that my midwife came with her birth birth assistant, and they were my husband had filled the pool, and we were like, let's go. Um, I was in pain, you know. She came and she checked me and she said, or one centimeter. My heart dropped to the floor. I was like, What? How is that possible? What have I been doing for these past 24 hours? Like that, no, there's no way. Check again. Um and she was like, Yeah, so we're gonna go home and you get some sleep, and then in the morning, we like we need to get real serious about it. Because she was, you know, she's like, I feel comfortable going to 48 hours, but like I'm not messing around. You need you need to really get these, get this baby out. And so she said, you know, in the morning, walk around, start pumping. Um, and then if that doesn't work, castor oil. And so I knew I was like, no, I'm I'm not gonna have to do castor oil, there's no way. I'm gonna do everything that I have to. I'm gonna do this the little step, gonna walk up the steps. I'm gonna I'm gonna run if I have to to get this baby out. But I do not want to drink castor oil. Um, and I did. I did have to drink castor oil. Um when I woke up that that next morning, I was I threw up like before taking any castor oil. I I threw up just from from labor. Yeah, like just exhaustion and the pain. I threw up, um, walked, walked around, the contractions were it was so strange because they were they were they would get really close to. Together and then they would slow down. They would get really they kept like ebbing and flowing a lot. And um, I also had no clue how to use my pump, and so I was thought I was pumping, but I was not, so that was not effective whatsoever. Um, I ended up drinking castor oil immediately threw up everything inside of me.

SPEAKER_00 20:20

Like as soon as it you just took it straight, you didn't take like the midwife's brew.

SPEAKER_02 20:24

Took it straight. I thought I'm hardcore, I don't need that mix. Took it straight up immediately, everything came out of me. Um, and so then my husband was like, All right, we need we need all of the ingredients. He sent his mom out to go find all the things for the midwives brew. And later on, I ended up taking it and it stayed in me a little bit longer, but again, he threw it up, threw it up within like an hour or two. Um and like genuinely for people listening, just keep listening. I this sounds awful, but I promise you this is a good story. Um, yeah, so it got so I it got real crazy that second day. My my contractions were about one minute apart, like one minute on, one minute off. I mean, I was not even in this world, like I couldn't open my eyes, I couldn't talk, I was full force in the zone, in the zone. Um, my my midwife came again right around that 48 hour mark. And again, we had the tub filled up, we were ready to go. This time though, I was like, she's coming out, I know it for sure. Um, she checked me three centimeters. Poor girl. Heart dropped further than I thought possible. Yeah, so I at that point I was so exhausted, I was so dehydrated. I mean, I was drinking pretty much in between every contraction, I was just nonstop drinking water, and I still was thirsty. Like I could not get enough water inside of me. Um, and she my midwife was like, All right, come on, let's let's get you into some new positions. Like, this is gonna be fine. She was so encouraging, so like she believed in me so hardcore. My husband too was like, you can do this, babe. And at that point, I was just so tired and wanted my baby so badly that I was like, I sh I'm sure that I can do this, but I really feel in my heart that I need to go to the hospital. And you know, I could tell that my husband and my midwife were a little bit sad and disappointed. But the fact because I another thing about me is I'm a people pleaser, like to the core. I'm a people pleaser. So the fact that in that moment I was able, I had like the ability to say, no, we need to go to the hospital, is actually very baffling to me when I look back. I I can't believe because I I literally did, I couldn't talk, I couldn't open my eyes, and somehow I was able to make this very large decision to transfer care. Um so I know from that moment on, the Lord was all there. He he was in every single detail of that transfer. We got to the hospital um about like 8 p.m. that night. So it had been that was like 49 hours from when my water broke. And my at that point, my contractions were about four minutes apart, and they put me, they immediately put fluid in me, and I and then they slowed down like to like 10 minutes apart. And they they told me you were so dehydrated that your body, I don't know if you know anything about this, they they told me I was so dehydrated that my body was like overcompensating and like overworking itself. And the and I and they gave me the epidural. This is this is so you know, my heart was so open. My hands were I had heard so many stories of births that didn't go the way that the mom wanted it to, and the expectations were not met. I knew in my heart that going into labor and birth, I had to have my hands open to whatever could come, or else I would be heartbroken and I would have these unfair expectations. And so when all this was happening, like I I just felt, I think because of the posture of my heart, I just felt so much peace. Like I felt as soon as I got to the hospital, I actually felt God there, like I could feel so much peace, like this was the right decision for me. And even when that epidural hit, mm, I mean, it worked for me. And so there that's also a whole nother level of peace um that you feel all throughout your body. But uh yeah, so they gave me the epidural, and then basically I got to sleep that night and woke up in the morning and was ready to push. Um, so yeah, it was like right at about right when the nurse, when the when the shift changes, like right at 7 a.m. They told me you're ready to ready to push. And I was kind of like kicked off, like, come on, I finally got to like know this midwife on the night shift, and now she's gone. Okay. Um, but then Angel nurse, Angel nurse walked through those doors. She said, Hi, I had an attempted home birth last year, and I transferred the hospital after two days of laboring. I'm here with you. I know your story, and I'm I she's like, I'm a crunch, I'm a crunchy nurse, and I'm not gonna let anybody do anything to your baby that you don't want them to. And just like I felt in that moment, I was like, Oh, okay, this is it. This is surprising. Like God had this all ordained and figured out, and it's gonna be alright. Like, she's she's got me covered, and I I think probably most moms feel whoever is there with them while they're laboring and pushing, they probably feel so connected to, but she really was. I just have so much love for her in my heart. I pushed for about two and a half hours, and because I had the epidural, I couldn't do too many different positions, but I I pushed on my sides. That was the most the best, most progressive way, I guess, for the baby to come out. And she came out at that two and a half mark hour mark, and I my body was just flooded with all of the the high the hormones that everyone talks about. It was it the epidural for me actually worked so well. I was able to feel exactly what I needed to. I knew exactly when to push. It was miraculous. It it really did work for me. Um, they did, they did, because my water had broken from from so long ago when I got there, they were definitely a little bit scared for me. Like they were trying to spook me with that I was high risk, and they were like, You're probably gonna need antibiotics. And I was like, heck no, let's go. We're fine. Um, I think if I hadn't have taken your class, honestly, it would have been a different story. I felt so confident just knowing like what was going on, what they were connecting to me, what they were proposing, and and I just had you know the the the wherewithal to be like I don't think so. Like I that's not necessary. Um or even just a question. I I think just questioning was such a big big deal to to do that to all the nurses and the doctors because there was not nothing happened to me that I didn't know what was going on. Like I made sure that everyone explained everything to me and explained if it was actually necessary to do that or if that's just their procedure and that's just what they do. We ended up, I think she was so she was born at like 8 30 a.m. and we left the hospital by 3 p.m. Wow. Yeah, we were out of there. We she was healthy and happy and fine, and my midwife had kind of warned me, she was like, they're gonna try to keep you there for a long time, especially because you're high risk, because in in quotation marks everybody high risk because my water had been broken for so long. She was like, You can get out of there if you want to go home, you can go home. And so we we had to really stand up for ourselves, and there the amount of different like people that kept coming in and saying, No, you should not leave, you should not leave, you should not leave. We just had to say, Okay, tell me your concerns, okay. You want us to watch like um watch her temperature and her heart rate? Okay, we can do that, we will definitely do that. Thank you for your concern. You know, it it took so much um to get out of there, but we but but we did. We came home and and she was she was happy, she was healthy, and so was I. And it was from the time that my water broke to the time she came out, it was 62 hours.

SPEAKER_00 29:09

That's a long one poem. That's a long one. Yeah. But I'm so glad you were able to just like we talked about, like to you had this plan, you had this vision, you had what you felt like was gonna be best for you, but you kept your hands open to it. You surrendered that knowing that like ultimately the Lord was in the details, and that's where you got that peace from, like having that peace, which I think is so it's to me, it's like the most important part of labor, like is that feeling how you feel when you're laboring, regardless of what's happening. As long as the Lord's peace is with you, it doesn't matter what's happening, you know. That's so wonderful. I love that. I mean, I know it wasn't the home birth that you initially thought it was gonna be, but the fact that you felt like God was there and God was was with you and and even just like bringing that nurse in and everything. I love I love to hear that.

SPEAKER_02 30:07

Yeah, it was crazy. Um also there's like two more details I totally forgot. The like the baby doctor, whatever the the official name is that was assigned to us ended up being like a family friend that just randomly was working there and was on shift and happened to be assigned to us.

SPEAKER_00 30:29

It was so that's amazing because I was gonna say when you said you got out that early, usually it's like they're okay with mom leaving. It's usually the baby that they the pediatricians like to hold on to. And it's usually like the pediatrician is the one preventing you from being discharged more so than the obstetrician. So that so okay, so that explains that. She so you knew her, so that's great.

SPEAKER_02 30:52

Yeah, yeah, it was it, it was it was so good. She and she was very, you know, she her preference would have definitely been for us to stay. Um, but she also was like, here's my number, call me 247. I'm here for you. So well, cool. Yeah, it was great. And then I totally forgot to mention this. I think this is why it took so long to get my daughter out of me, was she came out with her arm up.

SPEAKER_00 31:19

Oh man. What is that called? Isn't there an It's called a nuclear arm? She had a nuclear arm.

SPEAKER_02 31:26

So, and we had no clue, obviously. And even when we got to the hospital, they they they did an ultrasound. As soon as I got there, they didn't even see that.

SPEAKER_00 31:36

It's hard to see, um, especially ultrasounds that late in the game and that low. It's just hard to get like a really accurate picture of everything that's going on. And also they can move their arms too, like they can pull it back and push it forward and stuff. So it probably just happened to be that yeah, she probably mean she probably had it there most of the time, but um, when she's coming out, yes, it makes for a more difficult descent and her elbow was up. Oh, so even more so. So it was like, yeah, no one can see us right now. But we're like holding our elbows by our ears. Um, yeah, that's that's even trickier because that would make the gap even or the diameter even wider.

SPEAKER_02 32:20

Yeah. So that was very surprising, but it, you know, it was so cute because as soon as she came up, she reached her hand out like before her head even was out. It was like, ah, yes, freedom. Yeah. It was like, I'm coming out. Yeah. So I think that probably played a big factor into why my labor was so inefficient.

SPEAKER_00 32:42

Most definitely positioning that it really is such such a huge factor, the position of the baby for sure. And also just water breaking first for a first labor can make it longer too. Um, just when you haven't had like the contraction buildup ahead of time. That tends to be like um for first labors, if your water breaks first before contractions start, it tends to make for a longer labor. Not always, but usually.

SPEAKER_02 33:11

Amazing. Well, now I'm so motivated for the next one that I want to have what is it called when the baby stays in the water in the sack?

SPEAKER_00 33:20

Um in call or on call. Yeah. A mermaid birth. Mermaid birth. I want one now. So bad. Hey girl, I want one too. I I have five and I haven't gotten one yet, but I want one too. You gotta up those vitamin C levels as much as you possibly can. Do you remember that when we talked about that?

SPEAKER_01 33:39

Yeah, it was like that cherry.

SPEAKER_00 33:42

Acerola cherry, that's what I took. Yeah. Okay, so what was your postpartum like? How did breastfeeding go? What was the recovery like? Tell us all about that.

SPEAKER_02 33:54

So praise the Lord, I did not tear.

SPEAKER_00 33:57

Yes, that's awesome. Even with that nuclear elbow.

SPEAKER_02 34:00

Yeah. Very, very lucky, blessed for that. So, as far as like, you know, my bodily recovery, it was not hard at all. Um, I had a very sweet postpartum just being able to snuggle my baby. And breastfeeding was it went well until I realized that she wasn't gaining weight at the rate that is is desired and wanted. And so I did have to get a um lactation consultant and I did have to triple feed and um like weigh her every day, which was, you know, that was a lot. I definitely had a little mental breakdown with triple feeding, especially. That was a lot of work. Um, but eventually I got it, it was all about my supply, you know, and eventually I got my supply up to the point where I didn't need to to pump anymore. And she was she was gaining weight. It was probably about like a month period of time where it was just the monotony of pumping every couple of hours.

unknown 35:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:03

Triple feeding is is no joke. That makes I feel like postpartum so much harder. Because triple feeding is just hard. And for people who don't know what triple feeding is, it is where you nurse your baby, but then you pump to like up your supply, and then you're feeding them a bottle or through a syringe or you know, however they're gonna take it, um, just to get them some of that extra calories while you're building your supply up. And it's it's just instead of doing the one thing of just nursing, like just putting them on there and nursing, it's like you're doing three things and it's it's exhausting. I've only had to do it once, but the one time I had to do it, oh my gosh, I was dragging because you have to do it all through the night too. It's not just during the day.

SPEAKER_02 35:47

Yeah, it it was a lot of a lot of work. Um, I actually my black patient consultant thought that I had glandular, insufficient glandular tissue issue. And based on just like the way that my my breast presented, and maybe I do have have it, but she was very surprised at how much I was able to actually um create with how severe it it appeared that it was.

SPEAKER_00 36:16

Well, were you able to just continue like nursing her exclusively after the triple feeding was done? Yeah, yeah. That's what then you don't have IGT then. The people I know with IGT, they cannot, I mean, like it's like they almost don't make milk at all. Like, or they make very, very, very, very small amount. Like they could pump all day for like 24 hours and get like an ounce. So yeah, it doesn't sound like that. That's what you have. Maybe that was just like the initial this could be possible as to why this is happening. But if you're still, I mean, it sounds like she's doing great now, and it's been like six months. So five months? How old is she now? Five months. Five months, yeah. Can you tell us her name?

SPEAKER_02 36:59

Yes. So her her full legal name is Mary Earl Dressler Nicholson.

SPEAKER_00 37:07

Oh, and then do you so what do you call her on a daily basis? Call her Merle. Merle. Love it. And how much did she end up weighing?

SPEAKER_02 37:18

Um, when she was born.

SPEAKER_00 37:20

Yeah, she was seven pounds, four ounces. That was my daughter. Oh, she was my first seven four. Look at that. She didn't she did not have a nuclear arm though, so she came out much easier than yours.

SPEAKER_02 37:34

But yeah, I I honestly hesitate to even tell my story a lot of time or like go into detail on it because I really I don't want to scare people, I really don't because my the way that I feel about my birth is so free. I feel I I'm so thankful that I labored for as long as I did unmedicated and at home. I'm so thankful for that time, and I'm so thankful that I for modern medicine and being able to get an epidural when I needed it and be at the hospital. I'm I'm just it it was not a traumatic birth, you know. It really it was hard. It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, but it was so beautiful, and I wouldn't trade any, I wouldn't swap out any detail of it. You know, it's yeah, it's your story.

SPEAKER_00 38:22

Yeah, yeah, that's true. Um well, and you you used the epidural as the tool that it truly works best for. Like you used it when you had been at it wasn't like you had your first contraction, you went to the hospital and got it. You know what I mean? Like you labored for days before you got it, and you were doing all the position changes and you were doing all the different things, like and it you you hadn't slept in several days. And so, and this is what I tell people in class. Like, yes, I tell them all about the risks of getting an epidural. You need to know all that before you sign up for it. But in situations like that, it is a good tool to use that we have at our disposal. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 39:10

Yeah, yeah. I don't know. Like sometimes I think what what would have happened if I had stayed at home? What would have happened? I don't know. I don't know. I really have no clue, but I am just so, so, so, so thankful that I had that ability, that option, that resource that and that it worked well for me and that I did not have complications. Yeah, praise God for that. And I don't know, it would be so easy for me to be disappointed in myself. So, you know, like, come on, boom, why couldn't you have done it? You know, of course there's that like little thought in your mind, but I just I I keep hearing the Lord just invite me into grace and mercy over it. That that was exactly how it was gonna happen. That was ordained, that was um beautiful, and and nothing needed to be different about that.

SPEAKER_00 39:59

Yeah. That is beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 40:01

I'm just trying to think what in sharing my story, what's my heart? What do I want to share with people? Like what do I want them to take away? Or, you know, you're you're you haven't had a baby yet, and you're just trying to come up with what are your expectations and how's it gonna play out, you know. I had this expectation, I think for my birth that it was gonna be this time of deep communion with the Lord and like fellowship with him. I had I just thought like I'm gonna be talking with him like I never have before in my life. And to be honest, I didn't even have the capacity or the energy to utter a prayer. Like I couldn't even, I remember this one moment through a contraction where my husband was like, just call out to the Lord, home, call out, like pray to him. And I just remember like thinking, like mid-contraction, I can't. Like, I literally, there's nothing, I have no energy in me to do anything except for focus on getting through this contraction. But as I reflected back on it, because a part of me was like, dang it, I was really hoping my expectation was not really met in that way. But as I look back, I I just think I realized that the act of laboring and giving birth is like a form of worship, like no other. Like, never ever in my life have I ever focused on something, like meditated almost on something with every single cell of my body so hard. Just to give to give your all to something like that is so beautiful and totally unto the glory of God. And when I look back, I just think that was communion with the Lord, like I never have before. Um, there's this word. I don't know if you've ever heard of this, I don't know if it's Greek or Hebrew, but it's used in the Bible, and it's the word Adova. It's used contextually both as to mean like to work or to labor, and it also means to worship. It's used in both of those ways. And before I even went into labor, I had kind of been praying that word over my labor that I wanted it to be the combination of working so hard, laboring and worshiping, intertwined together, this this adova. And that is exactly, that is exactly what what it was. Exactly what it is. I mean, aligning yourself with with God's design and God's will and and doing exactly what he created you to do. It is such a special moment. I remember in in your class, Kayla, you said something that changed my whole way of thinking about giving birth. Because I think, you know, I I was pregnant and I was so excited to have a baby, but I kind of just thought like birth, giving birth is like the thing you just gotta get through to have your baby. You know, it's just like you just kind of survive through it. I wasn't really, I don't know. It was like that's gonna be really painful, and then after that, then I'm gonna be happy. But you said something in your class you were like, I love giving birth, I love laboring. And you you you told us that you like anticipate going into labor all throughout your pregnancy. And I had never heard anyone say that ever. I never even thought that was a possibility that you could be excited about going into labor. And I I remember going home and like just like letting my mind be exploded a little bit and like, wait, could this be something that I'm that I enjoy? Surely not. And and and now, like even after a labor as long and strenuous as that, I cannot wait to do it again. I cannot wait to go into labor again and give birth again. Like it really was so much fun. I don't know, it's it's kind of crazy to say that, but like it genuinely was so amazing. And I I am already anticipating the next one.

SPEAKER_00 43:56

I love that. I love to hear that. Gosh, that's so encouraging, and I hope that encourages other people too.

SPEAKER_02 44:02

Yeah, I do too. It's it's you can look forward to it. Really is a good time.

SPEAKER_00 44:08

Not something to dread, something, yeah, like you said, like highly anticipated.

SPEAKER_01 44:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:17

Well, I was gonna say, is there anything else you wanted to say? But I feel like maybe you just said it.

SPEAKER_01 44:21

Yeah, I think I did.

SPEAKER_00 44:24

Ah, well, thank you. I love this. I loved every second of this. This was so great. Especially love. It's like all I knew about your birth was that it was a home birth transferred to a hospital. That's literally the only details I knew. So this was really fun to hear the whole story behind everything.

SPEAKER_02 44:43

It's very fun to share. It really is. And you know what? People always ask me, like, what are you gonna are you gonna try home birth again? Are you gonna go to the hospital? Because, you know, I had a great time both ways. And I always say, I don't know, but I really I'm gonna, I'm gonna try for home birth again.

SPEAKER_00 45:00

I'm feeling yeah. Well, I mean, just imagine how different it could be if A, your water stays intact. So that makes a big difference. B, if the position of the baby isn't with the nuclear elbow, um, that would help a lot. And C, if you did have a shorter labor, which you totally could. First time labors are usually really long, but second timers are usually like at least half, typically. Um, so it's like if you think about that, you I mean, you absolutely could. It would be a totally different experience. I mean, I'm sitting here thinking about you being in labor for 62 hours or however long. It's like my longest labor was less than half of that. So I'm like, I'm just in awe of you for even making it that far.

SPEAKER_02 45:54

There is a part of me that's like, I can do anything. If I can be in labor for 62 hours, come on, I can do anything. Have an unmedicated birth.

SPEAKER_00 46:05

Definitely. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. You can reach me at Surrendered Birth Services on Instagram or email me at contact at Surrendered Birth Services.com. Be sure not to miss an episode by hitting the follow button. Also, we'd love for you to leave a written review of the show so that more people's births and lives can be changed by the love of Jesus and the empowerment of accurate birth education. If you really enjoyed this episode in particular, please take a screenshot of it and post it to your Instagram story tagging Surrendered Birth Services. If you would like to be a guest on the Surrendered Birth Stories podcast, please click the link in the episode show notes to fill out your interest form. Also, if you're interested in taking my childbirth classes, birth consultations, or having me as your birth doula, please click on the link in the show notes to take you to my website for online and in-person options. Just as a reminder, this show is not giving medical advice. So please continue to see your personal care provider as needs arise. We hope you have a great week. And remember, learn all that you can, make the best plans, and then leave it in God's hands. So Kruop just has like a certain style of cough. It's like a barking cough. They sound like a like a seal when they cough. And they just wake up and they you hear them going like, oh, but it's like a it sounds like a seal. Gosh, that was not a good seal. That was more like a sumo wrestler. Okay, I can't clearly I cannot impersonate a seal.