112: Pregnancy Isn't Easy, But It's Worth Every Second (with Daniel and Alyssa Mead) [Difficult Pregnancy, Water Birth, First Time Mom]

Sometimes getting pregnant is easier than you expected, but then the pregnancy itself ends up being much more difficult. So learning to trust God and expect the unexpected is the name of the game! Alyssa and Daniel, while experiencing a difficult pregnancy with terrible nausea and vomiting, blood sugar issues, random rashes, the works, were pleasantly surprised when God redeemed the pregnancy through an early, relatively short, unmedicated water birth that they’d been praying for! 

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More about Sukkot!: https://www.curtlandry.com/how-believers-can-celebrate-sukkot/

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Can you please tell everybody what your distraction noise of choice was? Um, and what we had playing in the room during your labor, because I've never, never had that and never since, but I was thoroughly entertained by it. Yeah, we had, I think it was. Hi, I'm Kayla Heater, follower of Jesus, wife and mother of five children, Christian childbirth educator in doula, and your host of the Surrendered Birth Stories podcast, where we share God-centered birth stories, evidence-based birth education, and our pursuit of surrendering our birth plans to God. Let's get started. Hey everybody! I hope your week is off to a great start. Our week is um, well, the day this airs, it's wrapping up. We have been celebrating the biblical feast of Sukkot this year for the first time as a family. And it's been fun. My husband really spearheaded the whole thing. He built a sukkah um for our front yard. We've been eating meals in it, especially dinner every night, um, and just being outside as much as possible. And it's been definitely, I think, a very fun and memorable experience for our kids, especially. I'm sure they will eagerly look forward to it again next year. We'll put a little link in the show notes if you don't know what Sukkot is or why it's celebrated or why a Christian would celebrate it as opposed to somebody who is Jewish. So, because it is traditionally speaking a Jewish holiday, but it's actually um one that's super prophetic in the Christian faith and really good for believers to be rejoicing with. So go ahead and look that up. It's been really fun. Um, I did want to do a little plug real quick for if you would like to be on this podcast, if you would like to share your birth story. I am getting ready to kind of wrap up our schedule for the year as the end of the year approaches and I'll be having my baby. I will be taking a month or two off from recording and doing recordings. So if you're interested in in jumping on the podcast and being on it and getting your recording in before I go on maternity leave, uh, please go ahead and click the link in the show notes. It's there every week under every episode. It says if you're interested in sharing your birth story, click here. So just click on that, fill out the form, and then I'll be in touch with you to get a date scheduled because our spots are filling up. I only have them going through the week before Thanksgiving or the weekend before Thanksgiving or something like that. So um, if that's you, you've thought about it, you've wanted to do it, or if you're a brand new listener and you've never listened before and you'd love to share your birth story, just go ahead and click that link and I will get you on the schedule. Otherwise, it'll be sometime in 2026 will be our next um available slots. So please go ahead and do that as we inch closer and closer to having this sweet baby. Okay, let's jump into this week's episode. Sometimes getting pregnant is easier than you expected, but then the pregnancy itself ends up being much more difficult. So learning to trust God and expect the unexpected is the name of the game. Alyssa and Daniel, while experiencing a difficult pregnancy with terrible nausea and vomiting, blood sugar issues, random rashes, the works, were pleasantly surprised when God redeemed the pregnancy through an early, relatively short, unmedicated water birth that they'd been praying for. Um, why don't you guys take a minute, introduce yourselves, let us know a little bit about who you are and your life.

SPEAKER_00 4:39

Yeah, um, I'm Daniel, and this is my wife Alyssa. Um, we've been married for just over four years now. Uh originally met years back in uh upstate New York, moved down to North Carolina probably five or six years ago at this point. Um, got married about a year after that. Um, and then we recently, about 15 months ago, welcomed our baby daughter Molly into the world. Um, and so we've been pretty excited about that. Um since then, uh Lys has become a stay-at-home mom. Uh, she's worked for a nonprofit before that. Um, and I work in logistics, um, kind of on uh retention side. So yeah, it's kind of a little bit about us.

SPEAKER_02 5:24

Awesome. Well then let's take it back. Okay, so Molly, wow, she's already 15 months old. That's right. Wow, time flies. Okay, so so take us back then to like gosh, two years ago, almost at this point when you guys got pregnant. So tell us about that. Was this something you guys were very diligently planning and ready for? Um, was it a surprise? Tell us that story.

SPEAKER_03 5:54

Yeah, so we we had decided, like, I don't know, in the the summer of 2023 or so that we were ready to start trying. Um I was ready like years before, and Daniel was like, no, not yet. So he finally came around, he was feeling ready. And it was about two months into trying that we got pregnant with her, so it wasn't super long after. But the when we found out we were pregnant that week, um, I just was feeling really sick, and I'd gotten a flu shot, so it was just like, oh, I must be that's why I'm sick. Yeah, it's a flu shot. And um I just I didn't think I was pregnant, I just didn't, I felt like I wasn't. Um, so took a test anyways, and it was positive. And I was like, oh I was I would get home from work before Daniel, so I was home by myself. Took the test, it was still pretty faint because it was early. I think it was like six days before, and I just started crying. I was like, oh, like thank you, Jesus, thank you, Jesus, just over and over, and that was just my reaction. I was surprised even though we were trying, I just didn't, you know, you hear so much that you know it might take a long time, or you know, you don't really know until you start trying. So it wasn't I think we kind of had thought it probably wouldn't happen right away. So I think we were a little surprised that it happened two months into to trying.

SPEAKER_02 7:24

That's great and exciting. Daniel, how did you react to the news?

SPEAKER_00 7:28

So um I had been, I think on like two work trips that week. Um, I got home fairly late uh one night and then had some stuff strap up, which normally does not happen. Um and then Alyssa had a friend over that night. Um, I think it was like maybe October.

SPEAKER_01 7:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:47

Yeah. So they were like watching a Halloween movie. So as like the friend left, Alyssa and I are getting ready for bed. She mentioned to me, like, I think I'm getting my period soon. So I was like, oh, okay, like, no baby, this time around. Um and again, like Alyssa said, like it was fairly early into trying, I had kind of set my expectations to like this could take a while. Um, so the next day I walk in the door home from work and she had like a little like rabbit um that I think is actually in her crib right now, um, along with like a pregnancy test with a very, very, very faint line. Um, and then like a worship song plane. And so I was like, just kind of like coming off of a long day. And I like walked in the door and I was like, Well, this is what she told me yesterday. So I was like, Oh, like, is this your way of telling me that like you're not pregnant or something? And she's like, look at the stick. And I was like, Oh wow. Like, all right, here we go.

SPEAKER_02 8:40

This is her way of telling you that she is pregnant, yeah. Yes. So then did you continue to like feel ill for a while, or how was the pregnancy sickness-wise for you?

SPEAKER_03 8:53

Yeah, um, the like initial like feeling fluish past. Um, but I was super nauseous, like throwing up from like five weeks to 20 weeks, just constant. Before I got pregnant, I was like, I'm not gonna take any medicine, nothing at all while I'm pregnant. Um, that I changed my tune pretty quickly and I couldn't stop um throwing up.

SPEAKER_02 9:24

Did you change your tune to Zofran? What did you change your tune to?

SPEAKER_03 9:27

Yeah, Unisom and B6. Oh, and then Zofran when when that just wouldn't cut it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:35

Yeah, pretty much every morning she would need like she would get her protein breakfast ready uh like the night before. It had to be like something that could be at her nightstand, so then she could like wake up, eat that, and then like start to get ready for the day.

SPEAKER_01 9:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:50

Um, I think uh you were probably going into work fairly early at the time. So I feel like a lot of mornings before she like kind of got into a routine of it would basically like wake up, throw up, get ready for work, maybe get sick again, and then was on her way to work. So it's definitely like from my perspective of watching that, I was like, wow, like she's uh she's got a lot in her.

SPEAKER_02 10:12

Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry, because I know how it feels and it's the worst. It's uh around 20 weeks. 20 weeks, yeah. Usually that's kind of when mine does too, somewhere between like 18 and 25 weeks, somewhere in there is usually when it's finally like, okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna be okay. I'm gonna live again. We're gonna make it. So, how did the rest of the pregnancy go? And what kind of care were you seeking? What kind of birth were you planning? Like, what were what were all the plans?

SPEAKER_03 10:49

So originally when I got pregnant, I was established at an an OBGYN office. Um, but we kind of at that point we were still living in our old house. Um, and we knew we were probably gonna be moving. And that office only delivered at like a smaller hospital that was gonna be pretty far um from where we were moving to. So um I asked Monica who she went to, um, you know, and she was like, I have this midwife, I love her, she's the best, I trust her with my life. And so reached out to that office um and got set up there. You know, they have they had you come in for your blood work, so came in for my blood work. Um, and then pretty early on, like between like weeks five and six, I was having a pretty painful cramping. And I was like, is this normal? Is this not normal? You know, I didn't really know, I'd never been pregnant before. Um, and so they had me come in to do an ultrasound pretty early. It was right around six weeks, and you know, everything was fine. Um, we ended up seeing one of the doctors there. Um, just I think that was probably who maybe had the first appointment available, and ended up actually seeing her for a while. Um, I had just kind of some weird things going on, like some blood sugar stuff, um, some weird like crashes. My body just did not love being pregnant. Um so for a good chunk of time, I I saw um this one doctor eventually switched back over to seeing some of the midwives. I only saw the midwife that we delivered with once before actually being in labor, even though she was the whole reason that we went to that practice. So that was interesting, just kind of the way that scheduling worked out and then you know, having to see the the doctor. And I think like at the time it was upsetting to me, I guess, because I was like, well, I wanted I wanted to see this midwife, I wanted a more natural care, and I wasn't getting that, I guess. Like she was great, and like the doctor was great, I loved her, but it just wasn't what I had pictured or thought I was gonna get. Kind of looking back, it was probably for the best. Um, I think just some of the stuff I had, just a healthier pregnancy, just being aware of some of the blood sugar stuff, and just really being on top of that.

SPEAKER_02 13:32

In terms of your birth, what were your plans? Where were you delivering? What kind of birth were you envisioning and planning? What was your prep work like? Like, tell us all those details.

SPEAKER_03 13:46

Yeah, so I was gonna deliver in the hospital. I knew I wanted that just was more comfortable for me, but also I wanted an unmedicated birth, and I really wanted a water birth. I definitely knew that I needed to have a midwife to have that water birth. And as far as like prep work, um, we did your class and did the water birth class through the hospital, and we hired you as our duel, which was the best move.

SPEAKER_00 14:20

The birth class is definitely helpful for me because I had no idea what to expect, kind of no idea what my job would be. Um, so birth class was really helpful for me in learning, you know, being the advocate for Alyssa, and um, you know, just like realizing that like uh hospitals kind of like try and push certain things, uh making sure to like follow our birth plan, talk about that, um, plan in advance for anything, kind of decision making before you get in those situations. Um, and then Kayla, like Alyssa said, having you there was huge. Uh having you number one know our birth plan, um, having you kind of walk Alyssa through a lot of the contractions, providing a lot of support through that.

SPEAKER_02 15:07

I think you make great decisions, honestly. Okay, so take us to the labor then. How far along were you when you went into labor? How did it start? Whether you are pregnant with your first baby or wanting to have a different birth experience for a subsequent delivery, this is the fully comprehensive Christian childbirth course for you. The surrendered birth course. With over 10 years of experience as a childbirth educator, a birth doula, and having had five kids myself, almost six, I have created a course fit for every mama out there who wishes to be fully informed on all things pregnancy, labor, birth, postpartum, and breastfeeding, while remembering to keep Jesus at the center of it all. Our God created a beautiful design for birth, something to look forward to and not something to be feared. Not only will this course get you prepared for your birth, but it will also get you excited for it. It will answer questions you never knew you had and teach you things you didn't realize were so incredibly valuable and central to the entire birthing process. I've had numerous couples on their second, third, or even fourth babies who've taken this course and said how incredibly glad they were and that they learned so much more than they ever thought they would. With over 12 hours of video content, five modules, numerous lessons, detailed PDF printout notes, and endless resources, we dive deep into pregnancy, labor, the risks and benefits of interventions, inductions, immediate and extended postpartum for both mom and baby, everything you need to know about breastfeeding, and basic newborn care. This course covers everything. Once you've taken the course, I am available to you for any questions you might have during a monthly live QA Zoom call, exclusive to our online course audience, as well as through email. The course is on demand. So as soon as you purchase it, you'll be able to start right away and re-watch any lessons as many times as you need. Whether you are planning a medicated hospital birth or an unmedicated birth at a birth center or home birth, this course will prepare you in every way that you can be prepared. While I understand the desire to take a specific hospital or home birth course cater to your specific birth plans, birth doesn't always go how we plan. And having the knowledge of how birth can go in other environments outside of our plans is essential. Most importantly, I will help you to surrender these plans to God. And in return, the Holy Spirit will provide you with the peace that only He can give. For more information on the course, to read testimonials of others who have taken it, or to sign up for the course, just click the link in the show notes. And lastly, remember, just like we say here every week on the podcast, learn all that you can, make the best plans, and then leave it in God's hands.

SPEAKER_03 18:58

Yes, so I think it was a Tuesday. Um I was 38 weeks that Tuesday, and I was I would talk to my mom on the phone every morning on my way to work. And she had me, I was her first, she had me at 38 and one. And I think I was probably complaining about something. I was so uncomfortable or whatever it was. And she was, you know, trying to be sympathetic and relate. And I was like, well, after tomorrow, I'm gonna be more pregnant than you've ever been. So you won't be able to relate anymore. And I think you know, a lot of what you hear is like first-time moms usually go later. Like I always kind of I felt that I was gonna go before 40 weeks. I didn't know what that meant. But we went on a walk that night Tuesday, a dog kind of chased us down the road, so had to put a little pep in my step with our walk that night. And then overnight, I kept waking up like every couple hours, running to the bathroom, and I was like, I don't know, did I eat something? That just is not a Ring with my stomach. By like five o'clock that morning, I woke up and I started tracking, and I was like, I think these are probably contractions. And I think around 5:30, texted you and was like, so something's going on.

SPEAKER_02 20:15

Something's something starting.

SPEAKER_03 20:17

Yeah. And I waited till our office opened at eight. I called them, talked to the midwife. She kind of we went over where we were at, and she was like, Hmm, maybe you should come in, you know, check it out, see, see what's going on. I was like, okay, we got a couple things we wanted to finish up. It was running around the house, like cleaning everything up.

SPEAKER_00 20:37

And we also waited until my alarm went off to tell me, probably like an hour and a half after she had started cracking.

SPEAKER_03 20:43

I didn't wake him up, I let him sleep.

SPEAKER_00 20:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:46

How kind.

SPEAKER_00 20:46

She needed to be the last time for a while.

SPEAKER_03 20:49

Right. I think we ended up getting to the hospital. I don't know, it was between like 11 or 11:30 that morning. Got through triage, and the midwife checked me. And I think I remember her saying a four gets you in the door, and I was four centimeters. Right. I remember that. And up until that point, nothing was terrible except for riding in the car with Daniel. That was terrible.

SPEAKER_02 21:12

The with Daniel part or just riding in the car.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

My presence just stunning.

SPEAKER_03 21:20

She was ready to hurt him wanted out of the car.

SPEAKER_00 21:24

When we had talked about uh like birth plan and everything, I think like the one area where we were like in a little bit of disagreement on, and ultimately was her decision, of course, um, was uh kind of like the timing that we wanted to go to the hospital at. Um I had kind of fallen uh more so on, I think your recommendation of like let's stay at home for a little bit longer, maybe like she can labor some at home. Um, I'm the type of person that gets to the airport 10 minutes before my flight boards, pretty much no matter what airport it is. So I guess I kind of just had that same feeling about this. Again, I'm not the one giving birth. So she was like, you know, I'd like to get there a lot earlier. Um, so I may have like dragged my feet for like a few more minutes at home on the way in, you know, was not sure how long this was going to last. So it was like, you know, do you mind if we stop for food originally? The answer was yes, probably like a quarter of the way into the car ride. She was like, Okay, this is really bad in the car. I just want to get to the hospital. Um, so we made like a real quick stop. Um, but yes. So not quick enough.

SPEAKER_03 22:25

Wasn't it Chick-fil-A?

SPEAKER_00 22:27

What's that?

SPEAKER_03 22:28

Was it Chick-fil-A? No, because that was gonna be out of the way, and I was like, you gotta find something else.

SPEAKER_01 22:32

So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:33

I just I feel like I remember you texting me and being like, We're gonna go get Chick-fil-A then go to the hospital or something, and then we'll meet you there. I think we did, whatever. That's the plan. That was the plan, but then we had to go super fast.

SPEAKER_03 22:45

We're out on that. So yeah, but got to the hospital.

SPEAKER_02 22:50

Things still weren't like super painful, but you were chill as a cucumber when we got there. Like I could tell when you were having a contraction, but you were so incredibly calm and like together that I was just like, huh. Like either these don't hurt that bad, or she has a really high pain tolerance, or she's just like that got that much self-control. Like, but you were very, very calm. At least that's what it appeared like on the outside.

SPEAKER_03 23:22

I'm not a super loud person, so I kind of figured I was probably gonna be quieter. I really didn't feel the urge to make noise earlier on while I was laboring. But I know like when we first got there, we're in triage, wasn't too bad. I think right when we got up to labor and delivery, we were walking the hallway, and I was like starting to get a little more painful having to kind of stop reconstructing. At some point, we're back in the room and I ended up um in the shower, and it was just me and Daniel in there, and I just remember turning to him and being like, This is really painful. That was I was like, okay, really starting to feel it now. And at some point, the midwife checked me, and I was a seven, um, I think, and my water still hadn't broken, and she offered to break my water. And I feel like I kind of looked at you and I was like, I didn't know how I felt about that. Um, I just remember saying, it's just gonna get really intense. And I was like, it already is really intense. So I don't I don't think I'm ready for that. So passed on that for the time being, labored a little bit more. At one point, I felt I was like, I just need to lay down, just lay down with the peanut ball. Some point ended up in the tub.

SPEAKER_02 24:46

Um this is something very specific. I remember about your labor that I've never had at any other labor. Can you please tell everybody what your distraction noise of choice was? Um, and what we had playing in the room during your labor, because I've never, never had that and never since. But I was thoroughly entertained by it.

SPEAKER_03 25:09

Yeah, we had, I think it was, I believe it was dateline podcast or 2020, but I feel like it was a dateline. It was like a it was like a criminal murder mystery podcast.

SPEAKER_00 25:22

Yeah. I think it might have been one of the wives killing their husbands uh podcasts.

SPEAKER_02 25:26

Maybe it was also it was a husband killing a wife, by the way.

SPEAKER_00 25:30

Okay, obviously, okay.

SPEAKER_02 25:31

Ex-husband. Um, but yes, I had never listened to one of those before. And I thought that it was A, really funny that the first time I ever did was during a labor. Um, but B, I vividly remember when you guys went into the shower and you were in the bathroom, and then I was, you know, outside the room, like outside the door, and then I couldn't hear what was going on anymore. And Scotland was there, the doula in training. She was shadowing, and she was there. And I was looking at her, I was like, how am I gonna know what happened? Like they took the story in in there, and now I don't know what's going on. I don't know who did it. Like, was it the ex-husband? Was it this crazy neighbor? Like, anyways, I just I got a big kick out of that when when that's what we were listening to.

SPEAKER_03 26:22

But no, I will say it didn't work, I didn't listen to it. So well, we did, so I was glad that everybody else was entertained by it, but yeah, I'm more I'm a podcast girl, not really a music girl.

SPEAKER_00 26:35

So murder podcasts and lights on, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:38

You did. You wanted lights on. I don't like them lights, so yeah, yeah. Maybe some non-traditional options, but yeah, well, it kept us all very awake. We were very alert. A work day, you know.

SPEAKER_02 26:52

It was, and it was during the day. It was a work day, it was during the middle of the day, it was daylight. Yeah. So she asked to break your water the first time we declined. Yes. But then a few, I think it may have been a few hours later, she came back in to check on you. And I believe you were eight centimeters at that point, and what she said you had a quote unquote bulging bag of waters.

SPEAKER_03 27:18

Yeah, I feel like it was like I think it might have been nine. Nine. I was like, please break this thing at the show on the road, by the way. Right.

SPEAKER_02 27:29

Well, she told you, and we knew that at that point, based on where Molly's head was, and based on how how much water was in front of her head, we knew that if she broke it, you were basically gonna start pushing.

SPEAKER_03 27:41

Yeah. Yeah. So she did, she broke it, and I was like kind of unaware of everything going on. But I know when she did, there was meconium in the water, and she was real sweet. She was like, it's okay. You know, your baby just pooped a little bit, and we're just gonna do a little extra monitoring. And I feel like maybe other people were it was more a bigger maybe a bigger deal than I realized because I was kind of like at that point just not really paying that much attention.

SPEAKER_02 28:14

But it's meconium in the water is actually quite common. It's not rare anything at all. It happens pretty often. They just always want to monitor baby's heart rate to make sure that baby is handling the meconium well. Sometimes if it's just like tinged, like just like brown tinged water, no big deal really at all. But if it ever, which this was not the case for you, but if it's ever like thick and soupy, that's when it's like more of a concern because of them like swallowing it inside and not being able to clear it on their own when they come out is the concern. But most of the time, it's totally fine. Four out of my five have had Miconium before they've come out of me. And everyone it's fine. It's great.

SPEAKER_00 29:06

I think at that point when they broke the water and then the meconium was in there. Um, I think that they had put the heart rate ban on her belly for I think it needed to be on there for like 10 minutes uh before they like gave her the approval to go into the water. Yeah. Um, so I remember like that was I don't know how she was feeling. I don't even know if like she kind of like realized or was like processing, but I just remember like it's like I really hope that like everything is okay and that like she is allowed to have the water berth because that was like such a big thing for her and a big want since the start.

SPEAKER_01 29:39

Right.

SPEAKER_00 29:39

Um so we're very thankful um like once that 20 minutes was up that like she was cleared and able to go in there.

SPEAKER_02 29:45

Then you got in that water, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:48

And I don't know how long it was, but I just remember at one point this like animal noise came out of me, and I was like, Is that me? And midwife popped right in the door, and you were like, Okay. And I was like still not really aware of what that meant, but pushing was coming. You were pushing, yeah. I was pushing, yeah. And I think it was probably about 30 minutes um that I pushed.

SPEAKER_02 30:18

Yeah, it wasn't like super long.

SPEAKER_03 30:21

I do remember that I did, I was yelling, and everyone told me I had to stop yelling. And I was like, this whole time you've all been telling me that I can make noise. And now you're telling me that I need to stop making noise. Um, but that was good, you know, it helped me focus my energy on pushing.

SPEAKER_02 30:38

They yeah, they wanted to direct your energy downward instead of out. What I thought was really funny was your little body, you're a little person, and you were you kept floating up like into the water. And your midwife was like, Can you hold her down? Like, can you like hold her body down so that she has like you know, the ability? And which I didn't mind at all. I was actually my shirt was already soaked from doing pip squeezes in the water, but um yeah, I remember while you're pushing, holding your body down so that you could like leverage yourself to push the baby out.

SPEAKER_03 31:18

Yeah, in between contractions, I was really enjoying just the float, just feeling a little bit weightless. Yeah, you were definitely floating. Yeah, some little like uh foot pedals or places to put your feet in the tub. That that would be my only recommendation. Improvement there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:37

Again, super thankful that you were there, um, knowing our birth plan and everything. So uh I think we're like she was just finished a push. Um, and then the midwife looked at me and was like, no, Daniel, after this next push, you're gonna come down around front. So I was just, you know, thinking, like, okay, like she just wants me to have like a front row seat to the birth because like I was behind Alyssa, just like kind of supporting, um, talking through where I could. And so I was like, okay, sounds good. And then Kayla, like, you looked at our midwife and was like, I don't think he wants to catch the baby. Like, you're not catching uh the baby, right? And I was like, oh no, absolutely not. Um, up until this point, I've pretty much never held the baby. Definitely did not feel uh at all comfortable catching the baby on the way out. So um very grateful that you were able to step in there, uh help us follow the birth plan and uh kind of save uh save from whatever that may have been.

SPEAKER_02 32:34

Well, it's funny because that's the opposite scenario that I'm usually in. Usually I have a dad who wants to catch the baby and a provider who is very hesitant to let the dad do that. And it's usually like a fight in the other direction to be like, yes, he can do this, he can come catch the baby. Um, so this was a little bit of a twist where it was like, no, no, no, no, he does not want to do that.

SPEAKER_03 32:57

Yeah, but she was born. I didn't like fully realize that she was born until Armando was like, pick up your baby, and I was like, Oh, yeah, oh, there she is. Um, and everyone was like, We didn't know, we didn't know if we were having a boy or girl, and everyone was like, was it a boy or girl? And I was like, it's a boy. So she was like, No, no, it's not.

SPEAKER_00 33:21

So over one, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:24

So next time Daniel can call the gender.

SPEAKER_00 33:28

I don't know if I would have gotten the idea.

SPEAKER_02 33:31

The umbilical chords, they get in the way and they kind of look like very similar to a penis, and so easily understandable. You're not the first couple I've been with who's done that exact same thing, who's announced that it's a boy when it was actually a girl.

SPEAKER_03 33:47

Yeah, so picked her up, put her on my chest, and just kind of sat there in the tub for a little while. Feel like I just kept saying how bad that hurt. That's what like stuck out in my mind a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 34:03

Um then I think they move, I think they moved you to the bed pretty quickly.

SPEAKER_03 34:06

Pretty quickly, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:07

Um, I want to say you're probably only in the tub for another like minute or two longer. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:12

Yeah. And then got stitched up. That I wasn't, I don't think I really was mentally prepared for that. I was a little like I knew it was gonna happen, but I was a little bit caught off guard. And I was like, this hurts. How badly did you tear? I had two first degree tears, so not even bad, just two first degree. But I just was like, This this hurts, I'm sore. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:38

Well, because that area is really sensitive after you push a baby out, and then for someone to take, you know, some needle and thread down down there, it does not feel pleasant.

SPEAKER_03 34:51

No, it didn't, it didn't feel great. But you cut the cord at some point, which he was nervous too, but he did.

SPEAKER_00 34:57

Yeah, right ago, Daniel. Uh again, I didn't realize that they like clamped it on both sides. Kayla, I think I told you because like when we were walking through our like birth plan and everything, we were like, so you know, like you're gonna cut the cord, and I was like, I have like a history uh with scissors in like um eighth grade home economics class, like we were doing sewing. Teacher helped me like sew a rip on my sweatshirt. She said, cut the string. I cut it, ended up cutting a bigger hole in my sweatshirt. Just rather have not have that happen in the hospital. So um, you know, you were like, I think like this is something like you should do, you kind of have to do. So I was like, all right, like I can I think I can handle it then. Um, and then like to see like once I saw how they clamped it, I was like, okay, I got this. There's no danger to anybody here. So five year olds. Uh much easier.

SPEAKER_02 35:45

So I think you were quite capable.

SPEAKER_00 35:47

Yeah. Um, and I think going back to uh like her pushing and um labor real quick, one thing that like I didn't expect uh was I didn't really know how like I was going to react during it. Um and I'm probably like one of the most uh least emotional, um, maybe even some would argue, Alyssa would argue, empathetic people on the planet. Um, and like during while she was pushing, especially like the probably like most intense part of labor to like like she said, like she's very quiet. Um, hearing like the screams coming out of her there for a little bit, like kind of like seeing that the pain that she went in. Like, I was just like probably the most emotional that I had been in years, was like very like teary, like very much felt like crying there for a little bit. Um, and so I was like, it was really cool to see like her strength through it um and not have any sort of um pain medicine or anything like that. So it was uh like really cool to watch her kind of do that and handle that and be fine through it. And then um I even watched them stitch her up afterwards, and that was another thing where I was just like, you're like okay right now, and like she really wasn't flinching much, despite uh her obviously being very much in pain. So um it was uh a really cool experience, I guess, for me to see like just the strength that she has and um the ability to to go and do that is just insane.

SPEAKER_02 37:10

Mighty woman. So, how did your postpartum experience go?

SPEAKER_03 37:17

Overall, it was really good. Um I was a little worried. So both of our parents are in New York. So I was kind of a little scary not to have family like really close by during that time, but we did we got visits, great friends um and support there. Um we had, I would say like there were two big postpartum challenges. Breastfeeding was really important to me, and Molly just wouldn't latch. She wouldn't latch in the hospital. Like first night, they labeled her aggressive eater. Um, we went to like multiple visits with lactation consultants once we were home. Um, she had a tongue tie release and just she wouldn't do it. Like we tried for months and months, around three months, she like kind of started, but not never really would. So I more or less ended up being an exclusive pumper, which was not even remotely on my radar. Like it didn't even cross my mind that that could happen, that a baby just wouldn't latch. So that was definitely I had to kind of grieve that experience. And it was hard at first. Like I was like, I feel like this is supposed to be such like an important bonding experience for me and my baby, and I just we don't get it. But you know, in the end, you know, I was able to, you know, she still was able to get breast milk, which was really important to me. Um, she still is because I have a ton in the freezer. I was able to help a friend um by giving her breast milk. So even though it wasn't what I would have chosen for, you know, our journey, I'm at peace with it now and it's okay. You know, I still hope that I'll be able to breastfeed for the next one, but we will see. And then around six weeks old, we found out Molly had a dairy intolerance. So I had to completely cut dairy like everything from my diet. And you don't realize how many things have dairy in them, but it's like everything. Like McDonald's French fries have dairy in them. Who would have thought? I didn't know that one. I didn't know that. So just pretty much only ate at home. I had a couple safe meals I could order out, but just kind of had to like completely like I was always on like aware and like on guard any time I was somewhere and like we had a lot of weddings we had to go to. Like anytime you had to go to something, it was just a lot harder. Um, so definitely have more appreciation for people that do live with food allergies because it is challenging. Does she still have the dairy allergy? She does. Um most kids outgrow it, so we're hoping she will. Um we kind of tried to reintroduce and broke out a little bit in a rash. So we're um holding off gonna try again in a couple months and see how that goes. But extra hard because we live three minutes from a wonderful ice cream place.

SPEAKER_02 40:40

So I was gonna say, so that homeland creamery I brought you after she was born probably wasn't a good idea then.

SPEAKER_03 40:45

Well, I could still have dairy then, so that was great.

SPEAKER_02 40:48

That was before we knew.

SPEAKER_03 40:49

Right. Yeah, it was before we knew but yeah, then after that, no more, no more ice cream. But you know, got through it, went like basically a year without dairy. Are you you're done pumping now? Yes, so you're back on the dairy train. Back on the dairy train.

SPEAKER_02 41:07

So through all of that, what do you feel like the Lord taught you or revealed to you? Um, and it doesn't have to be one specific thing, it could be more than one thing, but um and you can each feel free to answer as well. I love having husband-wife views on here. It's fun, it doesn't happen as often.

SPEAKER_03 41:27

Yeah, so I think during pregnancy, um you know, I kind of I had all these weird things pop up, but it was never anything serious, I guess, but it was um it really it it impacted like my pregnancy journey. And I just like during that, I just had to learn to trust God that these things are happening, and right now they seem like horrible and terrible, but there's a reason, and you know, I'll see that eventually. Um, like a big one, like my blood sugar issues. I ended up having a way healthier pregnancy than I probably would have, um, just because I was being so careful. It wasn't the most fun thing, but in the end, I think it was for the best. I was really worried, like I during one of my prenatal appointments, one of the midwives that I saw, I just remember saying, you know, your body just really doesn't like being pregnant. And I was like, Yeah, I'm getting that feeling too. And I was just nervous going into birth, like I really wanted this specific birth experience, and I just was so worried I wasn't gonna get it. I was worried that for whatever reason I was gonna be disqualified from a water birth, or just something was gonna happen, and it wasn't gonna, it wasn't gonna be what I wanted. And the whole birth experience just felt really redemptive. Like God really knew and he saw the desires of my heart and he gave that to me in the birth experience. I think so many things could have easily changed it. You know, I don't I don't know if every provider would have let me have a water birth if I had meconium in the water. Like there's just so many things that I feel like he really just put into place to create that redemptive experience for me. And just learning to just trust him through it all. Um, there's so much stuff that we want to control and we think we can control, but at the end of the day, it's all in his hands.

SPEAKER_00 43:38

Yeah, we were talking about that last night. And um one of my what has become one of my favorite verses over the past probably like year and a half now is Proverbs 16:9. It says, uh, in their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. And I think like as we were kind of like talking through this um last night and in like the weeks leading up to this, um, kind of in preparation, it's like you can kind of see like how like we'll we try and plan stuff and obviously you want to be as well prepared, especially going into birth as you can be, but um like ultimately God is gonna um like guide your steps and establish your path there. Um and then I think for me, it's just caught me like a greater dependency on God. Um, like throughout her pregnancy, I would um like we were just never big kid people. I was an only child. She had just one younger brother. Um, we always knew that uh like prior to getting married that like we wanted to have kids together. Um, but again, like just not a ton of experience as far as like being around kids. So it was like I had no idea what I was doing. I know she didn't really have a ton of idea either. Neither one of us had uh changed a diaper, neither one of us had really even held the baby. Um so I was just like throughout pregnancy, like, God just help. Like that was kind of like all I could say on a lot of days because like I just didn't even know really what to pray for. Um, and then you kind of start parenthood, and um I remember my parents always telling me, like, we got home from the hospital and we're like, what do we do now? And I was like, I don't know if I'll like have that same feeling. But like I remember we walked in the door getting home from the hospital, and I was holding her in the uh uh carrier, and I was just like, Oh, okay, like I don't even know where to set her. Like, can I put her on the crown? Should I put her on the couch? And so um, just like growing closer with God and just like asking him for for more help than ever before, because now we're um like responsible for this human life and and raising her and everything, and uh, you know, it's obviously one of uh the best things, it's also one of the kind of most nerve-wracking scary things that you do in life.

SPEAKER_02 45:45

Oh yeah. Years ago, gosh, I was probably maybe in college um at like a church event, and this there was like a guest um worship pastor, actually, but he ended up having like a preaching moment while he was there. And I obviously was nowhere near motherhood yet. But I remember him explaining because I think he had several children and he was like, Yeah, so like when you get married, I was engaged, I think. He was like, when you get married, he was like, your capacity for love like expands. And he said, But at the same time, your your capacity for like emotional turmoil and pain also expands. And he said, and then when you have a kid, he said it expands even more. He was like, you end up being able to love even more than you've ever loved, but you also experience like pain and grief and and worry like you've never experienced before. And he was like, and then each kid you have, it just the spectrum just grows and grows and grows. And now that I'm you know 12 years into motherhood, I'm like, yep, he was he was spot on with that analogy.

SPEAKER_01 47:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:02

So thank you so much for for coming on, for sharing. Was there anything else you wanted to say before we end?

SPEAKER_00 47:11

Um, from my perspective, uh do a birth class, get a doula. Um, especially if you have just absolutely no idea what you're doing. Um, I think a birth plan went into it knowing.

SPEAKER_03 47:22

Yeah, if you're on the fence, it's worth the money.

SPEAKER_00 47:24

Yeah, we were, I think we were on the fence and uh yeah, we made the right decision for sure. Um, and then yeah, just like having a birth plan, I think is huge, just knowing like what the mother wants, uh like what you both want, kind of establishing that, and then uh making sure that the father knows that you know their job in there is to advocate and then also be there for the mother. Coming into it, I really thought like, you know, I don't have much of a role. And then I found out that I had a huge role. So um I think those are all kind of like really big things at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_03 47:56

Yeah. Yeah. I would say just, you know, things are gonna come up that are maybe not what you expected, not what you wanted, but just, you know, kind of learn to roll with it because it's gonna keep happening the rest of your life. So the rest of your parenting journey will be just like that. So and um, you know, just know that that God is in control and you don't need to worry.

SPEAKER_02 48:25

Well, love you guys. Thank you so much for doing this. I really appreciate it. Thanks for having us. Of course. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. You can reach me at Surrendered Birth Services on Instagram or email me at contact at Surrendered Birth Services.com. Be sure not to miss an episode by hitting the follow button. Also, we'd love for you to leave a written review of the show so that more people's births and lives can be changed by the love of Jesus and the empowerment of accurate birth education. If you really enjoyed this episode in particular, please take a screenshot of it and post it to your Instagram story tagging Surrendered Birth Services. If you would like to be a guest on the Surrendered Birth Stories podcast, please click the link in the episode show notes to fill out your interest form. Also, if you're interested in taking my childbirth classes, birth consultations, or having me as your birth doula, please click on the link in the show notes to take you to my website for online and in-person options. Just as a reminder, this show is not giving medical advice. So please continue to see your personal care provider as needs arise. We hope you have a great week. And remember, learn all that you can, make the best plans, and then leave it in God's hands. How big was Molly? I don't remember.

SPEAKER_00 50:03

17 inches.

SPEAKER_03 50:04

She's really short. She's she's in the first percentile for height now. Six pounds, 12 ounces.

SPEAKER_02 50:14

Yeah. I was gonna say I have it written in my notes, but um, I didn't look at it. But 17 inches. Oh my gosh. That's so short. You were like, are you sure? And they re-measured her, and I think that's it.

SPEAKER_01 50:27

They were like 17 and a half.

SPEAKER_02 50:29

Oh, we'll give her the half. Oh man. Well, just because my babies are like 22, 23, 20, you know what I mean? Like almost 24. So I'm like, wow, 17, that is like that much shorter.