125: How God Gave Us Bowie (with Christopher Heeter) [Home Birth, Free Birth, Water Birth]

After six weeks of leave, we are finally back to share our most recent birth story! We hope you enjoy listening to all of the details of this birth, which is very unique to all of our other births, and how God used it to bring the concept of SURRENDER full circle in our hearts.

Transcript

Host 0:00

For this one, I was not thinking at all. I was literally just feeling. And I roared him out. And I roared so loudly that our four-year-old and six-year-old woke up and they came running out of their rooms. Hi, I'm Kayla Heeter, follower of Jesus, wife and mother of five children, Christian childbirth educator in doula, and your host of the Surrendered Birth Stories podcast, where we share God-centered birth stories, evidence-based birth education, and our pursuit of surrendering our birth plans to God. Let's get started. Hey everybody! I'm back. I am still in the thick of postpartum for sure, but I am so excited to be back. It's been uh gosh, six weeks, I guess, since I've actually recorded anything or prepped anything or updated anything, maybe longer. Um, but I'm back and I'm so happy to be back with you guys. We have our sweet baby Bowie who is here with us, and we are just trying to soak up the moments because it is going very, very fast. But in the same breath, I feel like I've missed so much with you guys. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year's. So much has happened in this time that we've been or that I've been away. I hope you guys have been enjoying listening to our first five birth stories of our first five children. They were a replay because we had uh previously aired those um much, much earlier. But if you didn't know, I do have a typed out birth story for each of my children written out on a blog type situation with pictures and everything to go along with them. So if that's something that interests you, and believe it or not, there's probably more detail in the written out story than in the podcast version. So if that's of any interest to you, uh the links for those are in those episode show notes that we just aired. Now I have not written out Bowie's yet, and that is new. I've always written it before I've recorded it, but we didn't this time, just so we could get back to the podcast. And I honestly just haven't had uh that much thinking space or free time without nursing a baby to get that typed out. But when I do, when his is done, I will let you guys know and I'll you know share it in an intro and then share it on um Instagram. So follow along there if you want to see Bowie's typed out story because I will start working on it just as soon as I can. I feel like I have so much to say because I haven't been on here in so long. And so I'm like, oh my gosh, I gotta go through all these things. Well, we are planning an in-person childbirth class for March. I skipped the January class just because we were here fresh in postpartum. I usually do an April class, but I thought maybe we could do it a little bit earlier if we need to catch some spring babies. So if you're having a spring baby um or a summer baby, this is going to be sort of a combo class. Right now I am planning it for March, but if more people would be available for April, just let me know and then maybe we can shift it to April. But um, if anyone is interested in an in-person class here in the triad of North Carolina, please let me know. We do them on Sunday evenings and it's five weeks long. If that does not work for your schedule, of course we have the online class. So if you don't live around here, you're further away from the triad, um, you live in a different country, different state, different city, or if you're just not available on Sunday nights for whatever reason, then we obviously have the online class as well. And that link to that is in the show notes and you can start that anytime. As soon as you get it, it is online, on demand, and on your schedule. But if you can take an in-person class, I always encourage an in-person class. I love teaching them. It's like one of my favorite parts of my job. So I would love to get this class. I do have one or two couples already interested, but I would love to get a little bit bigger of a class. So please reach out if you're interested. Also, I'm ready to start recording more podcasts again. Although Bowie probably isn't quite ready for me to do that, considering I feel like he's latched and attached to me 24-7. But um, we can always edit out his little coups and cries. So if you are ready to record your birth story, you're ready to share your birth story on the podcast. I would love if you would reach out. Uh, the link to that is also in the show notes of every episode. So if you're interested and you're ready to share your birth story, we are ready to get some more on the schedule to record. Um, if you reached out while I was on maternity leave, I will be getting back to you ASAP. I've tried to really unplug for the last six weeks as much as possible, but I am back and starting to, you know, check emails again and um get back to people as well. So here goes nothing. You're about to hear Bowie's birth story. Um, I feel like I was quite sleep deprived when we recorded it, but you really can't know when you're gonna have more or less sleep. So I'm sure I missed some details. And you know I'm a details girl, but I am sure hopefully I will catch those details whenever I actually do write his story out. So I hope you guys enjoy. I love you all. Thank you for listening. I'm so glad to be back. I'm so glad you're back, and I hope you enjoy his story. Well, welcome to another episode of Surrendered Birth Stories. I am your host, Kayla Heater, back in action, and I have Chris Heeter with me today. Husband, welcome back.

Guest 6:28

It's an honor, my lady.

Host 6:32

Well, we are here. You know us well enough. I feel like I don't have to introduce us. You know us by now. So I am excited. We're here to tell Christopher Bowie's birth story. That's his full official name, by the way, Christopher Bowie Heater. And if you didn't know my husband's name is Christopher, I'll call him Chris. Um, and we're calling Christopher Bowie Bowie, and we can get into when we chose his name later.

Guest 7:01

But that's aka Bobo.

Host 7:03

Well, you call him that, but you called him it once. Did I?

Guest 7:08

Yeah, you sure did. I remember it. She's I'm like, she's latching on.

Host 7:12

I don't remember much right now, but yeah. This is okay. So I just want to say for all of our other kids' birth stories, the other five, I had a lot of time to think about them, process them, and write them all out, like completely written out well in advance. Whereas this one, uh, I haven't. I have not written this one out. And he is six weeks old, which would be like the soonest I've ever, you know, recorded a birth story. So I am definitely in the newborn fog. My brain definitely is not operating at optimal levels.

Guest 7:55

Um you're doing really good though. I will just go ahead and say that.

Host 7:59

Trying my best. Trying my best. I cannot tell you how many times. I would say it happens at least 70% of the time. Where I record with a guest, I'm, you know, interviewing them. They're telling me the story. And when we're done, they will text me either right away or later that day or the next day, and they'll be like, oh my gosh, I hope this was okay. I forgot to say this. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. Like, do you think that's gonna be all right? Like, oh my, I was too fast or I took too long, or and they just second-guess themselves the whole time. And it's always good, it's always fine. And I always say the Holy Spirit is going to you know use this and he's going to use what you've said, and you know, he let you speak what he wanted you to speak. So I'm just giving myself that advice in this moment right now.

Guest 8:49

I'm doing great. That yeah, no, that's good advice.

Host 8:52

Okay, babe, you ready?

Guest 8:53

I am so ready.

Host 8:55

Okay. So if you especially if you listen to the last five weeks where we played everyone's birth stories, our first five children, if you listen to Indiana's story, which was baby number five, our most, you know, the last one before this one, that was really long because it had a lot of parosmia. You know, that was basically half the story was in it. And if you listen to that episode, you you heard us say that we were open to having more children. I mean, by the end of the episode, and it wasn't really a determined when, it was just like a one-day situation. So this past year, 2025, we had talked about maybe kind of being open to having another baby and thinking about maybe like summertime. I remember June because I knew I was gonna be off in July, like not taking any clients because we were gonna go visit my grandparents, so it's gonna be off. And I thought, well, that would be a perfect time to be throwing up. Um if I don't have any clients that I'm working with, so that I can, you know, just take that time to rest in the bed.

Guest 10:08

And we were having these conversations in like early of the year, or like the earlier in the year, probably during like our family summit or something like that.

Host 10:16

Yeah, just talking about like that would be a good, a good time because thankfully we have been very blessed to be able to get pregnant, usually within the first or second month of trying, not preventing. I don't know what you want to call it. Well, you know what I mean. Um, and so I thought, yep, June, that would be a great time. Well, the Lord had other plans, plans that apparently far exceeded our own. That I'm still don't entirely understand his timing in all of this, but maybe, maybe I will see it one day. Uh, so it was March of 2025, and I actually vividly remember this because I was going on a girls' trip with my best friend Taylor. We were going out of town for the weekend. Her and I were gonna do some hiking in the mountains and just get a lot of good girl time in. And I was supposed to start my period the day that we left, and so I brought, you know, all the things with me that I was gonna need. And the whole weekend I didn't start. And I kind of made a joke with her in the car on our way home saying, ha ha, maybe I'm pregnant. Probably not, though. And so she was like, What do you mean, probably not? And I was like, Oh, there's probably like a 1% chance that I'm pregnant, maybe less than 1%, you know, just based on like period math and ovulation thoughts, and you know, because we do like natural family planning. So then I was like, Well, why I wonder why I haven't started my period? I'm a few days late. And then I thought, oh, you know what? I was sick this month, like in February. I was sick. And I said, you know, I bet that threw my cycle off. I bet that threw it off. And so I'm probably just late because I probably ovulated late.

Guest 12:12

Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, I remember you were you were sick, and then you know, our schedule was a little funky and it wasn't quite normally what our family was used to. And so we so I I thought to myself, like, yeah, absolutely. That's that's probably why.

Host 12:26

That makes sense, right? But then it like kind of hit me like a dagger when I said when I said, Oh, my ovulate, I probably ovulated later because I was sick. And then I was like, oh, shoot, I ovulated later. Like, oh man, like that means my math could definitely be way off by then. So I did take a test that day when I came home um from the weekend, like Sunday night, and it was negative.

Guest 12:55

Where was the test from?

Host 12:57

Oh, it of course it was from Dollar Tree. Where else would it be from?

Guest 13:00

That's that's the Kaylee Heater signature.

Host 13:03

That's my signature pregnancy test because they all work, they all work the same. So why spend $15 when you could spend a dollar, well, a dollar 25? Maybe those are even a dollar fifty now. Have you been to Dollar Tree lately?

Guest 13:16

Everything individually priced.

Host 13:19

Okay.

Guest 13:20

It's a whole thing.

Host 13:22

It's a it's a whole thing I discovered at Christmas. Okay. So that whole week goes by. I don't start my period every day. And then on Friday, uh, we were getting ready for our Shabbat dinner, our Friday night Shabbat dinner. And I was a little on edge because I was like, I really should have started by now. Like I'm a week late, I don't have any symptoms to say that I'm about to start my period. This is weird. And so I remember looking at you and saying, I want to go ahead and take it another test because I just want to know.

Guest 13:53

This was before the dinner took place.

Host 13:55

Right before dinner, yeah.

Guest 13:56

So we were like, I thought I remember there being like a little tension point where it's like, oh, we're serious about this. We're gonna okay. It's either like gonna be a big moment or it's gonna be like, oh, okay, life is normal.

Host 14:07

Yeah. And that's this isn't something we were planning. So I was, I just wanted to know so that you know, we could go about life appropriately. So we took the test and it was beyond positive. And I just remember thinking in that moment, like, how how did this happen? Except that retrospectively, I looked back and realized just I I must have ovulated like 10 days late due to sickness.

Guest 14:36

So yeah, that's really late. Wow.

Host 14:38

Yeah. Anyways, it you know, I don't know, you natural family planners out there. I was like for certain that I was ovulating. And so, you know, a week and a half later, I thought, well, um, of course I'm in the clear now. But apparently I was not, I don't know. If the Lord can do whatever he wants to do, yes, he can. And oh, you know what's crazy? This is what's crazy. If you go back to March on the podcast, I had a guest on, her name was Nikki. She was telling her second birth story. And she said in that podcast, you know, how because they were trying to get pregnant in her story and they weren't getting pregnant. And then she was like at church and she was praying about, you know, everything. And she just realized, you know, God is a supernatural God and he can do whatever he wants. And she literally said in the episode, if God wants to move ovulation windows, he can move ovulation windows. And little did I know, God had moved my ovulation window and I was pregnant and I didn't know it yet.

Guest 15:41

Um it's amazing. It was a miracle, and we're so thankful for it.

Host 15:46

Yeah, yes. Uh okay, I I don't want to sound ungrateful. Um, we obviously are very grateful for our child. It was a few months before I was ready for it. Um, but I remember that night, I just kind of looked at you and I was like, well, here we go again. Like, yeah, here we go.

Guest 16:06

And because in that moment, I need to, because when we find out that we're pregnant, I need to then start mentally preparing for first trimester kale heater pregnancies. Because they are uh if you've heard any of the stories uh preceding this this one, they are no bueno, and we'll find out why, I guess. But it is I I was in full preparation mode at that point, you know, just preparing my mind.

Host 16:32

Yeah. Well, and I immediately went like as soon, like as soon as we left the bathroom and we were getting ready for dinner, I went and added 40 grams of protein to my salad. I was like, here we go, get it in while I can because I knew I knew within two weeks.

Guest 16:49

It's like you know exactly what to do.

Host 16:51

Yeah, well, I knew within two weeks I was gonna be going downhill. And and I did. I did go downhill. And I had my normal, like super nauseous, throwing up multiple times a day, every day, laying in the bed, no energy, horrible, awful times. However, I had to be a doula and a childbirth educator during that time.

Guest 17:17

Oh, that's right. You had some you had some clients that were due during your first trimester.

Host 17:23

Oh, yes. So it was a Saturday night that I started throwing up six weeks on the dot, just like I have every time. Six weeks on the dot, start throwing up. And I literally, we told our kids and we played, we call it disappearing man, right? Vanishing man.

Guest 17:38

Yes, yes.

Host 17:39

Instead of calling it hangman, we call it vanishing man because it's a lot less um morbid.

Guest 17:46

Call us crazy, but we could we play vanishing man.

Host 17:49

So that's how we told them we were having our baby, and I was sitting there at the table just trying not to throw up the whole time we were playing the game. And as soon as they found out, and as soon as they realized what was happening, it was like, Congratulations, yay, it's so exciting. And I ran into the bathroom and threw up. And that was it. That was the start. And the next night, double whammy, the next night was my first night of teaching eight couples in a childbirth class, eight of them, which is the biggest class I've ever had. And I had a mom who was in early labor that whole weekend. And after that first class, the next night, I ended up going to the to a birth straight from the class.

Guest 18:28

Oh, that's so miserable.

Host 18:31

It was just so hard because I'm like, oh my gosh, this is the first day of my nausea and throwing up and I'm doing all this.

Guest 18:38

And I had to like Well, I remember I know one of the people, one of the guys that was in that birth class. And I texted him and I said, Hey man, thank you so much for giving Kayla some grace tonight. She was she started first trimester and she is not feeling good. So thank you so much. He texted me back and said, No, man, she did awesome. And I was like, Well, good. I I expect nothing less, but I still feel a little bad.

Host 19:01

Well, those eight couples found out that I was pregnant before anyone in our family did because I had to be straight and up front with them that night and say, guys, like I'm normally very energetic, like very bubbly, very movement oriented. I was like, but I am just trying to not throw up right now. And yeah, so and then I had another birth the next weekend, and that one was really long. Like that was a 28 hour. I mean, it was long. I can't remember exactly how many hours. It was over 24 hours, though. So it was just, it was rough. And if you listen to Indiana's episode, episode five, you learned all about my parosmia. And so to update you on that, I do still have parosmia. It's been four years of it now. Um, but I will say, even though I had it this whole pregnancy and still have it, it was not as bad as the last pregnancy. Um, so in the beginning, I did still have to wear my nose plug. I wore it like 24-7 for the first like couple weeks. And then I really just tried to start wearing it only when I was eating, and then just tried to like I was able to like wean off of it a lot sooner this time um than I was last time, which I was grateful for. And then by I mean, by halfway through the pregnancy, I wasn't wearing it at all anymore. There were some things I got back between the pregnancies, like garlic and onion. That was a game changer. Um, to be able to have garlic and onion back was probably the biggest um milestone in my parosmia journey for sure. I also got coffee back. I don't remember, honestly don't remember when I got that back. I know I wrote about it on my stories, but um getting coffee back now again, it doesn't taste exactly like it should, and it definitely doesn't smell like it should, but it no longer tastes horrible, which is always a win. I still can't do peanut butter, mint, lettuces, or fruit of any kind, except pomegranate. I've been able to manage pomegranate, and I know it doesn't taste exactly like it should, but it tastes good enough. And whenever I eat pomegranate, which is in season right now, I feel so like so happy because my body's like, oh my gosh, a fruit. We haven't had this in four years. Because fruit is just so nasty still. I really miss apples and strawberries and uh bananas. I mean, I miss all of them. But the one thing that I was most concerned about was whether or not I would be able to smell Bowie's newborn smell. And I I can't, which is sad honestly, but it's it's not as like defeating and disappointing as it was last time. I think I really didn't expect to be able to smell him. Now, I will say I try really, really hard. Like I will dig my nose into his scalp and like sniff as hard as I can. And I feel like maybe I might be getting the tiniest whiff of something. And every once in a while I get that sort of like sterile smell that Indiana smelled like when he was born, which is not great. But um I'm trying. And I'm like, and I honestly, it's funny that I I can't actually smell his newborn smell, but I keep trying to smell it. And it's making me feel closer with him just because I'm trying so hard and like putting my nose all over his head all the time. So a little sad, but I'm okay. I'm I'm doing okay with that. We're taking our baths together and bonding that way, and obviously nursing and just talking to him and all the things. But that is one thing that I would change. I wish, I wish I could smell his newborn smell, and I'm still praying to be completely cured from parosmia. I would also love to smell my husband's cologne. Um, miss that smell. Haven't smelled that in four years. All synthetic fragrances still smell absolutely terrible. But we don't do synthetic fragrance in our house at all. But I would smell my husband's cologne again if I could. Memories.

Guest 23:32

Why don't you go ahead and explain just in one sentence what parasmia is for those that haven't heard that episode?

Host 23:37

You should really go back and listen to the last episode. It explain it very well. Um, it's a taste and smell disorder from long COVID that distorts my taste and smell and makes things um taste and smell unlike they should in a very bad way. That was another thing about this first trimester, though. Again, not as bad as Indies, but I still could not satisfy cravings. So for like lemonade or that hard candy or things that like make you feel better when you're nauseous first trimester, I still couldn't have those. And so that was really hard. But babe, do you remember what got me through first trimester or really the first half of the pregnancy that probably made me gain 20 pounds because I had so much of it, and it was the only thing that I would not throw up, the only liquid I would not throw up. What was it?

Guest 24:31

Well, it wasn't Diet Dr. Pepper.

Host 24:33

It was not Diet Dr. Pepper that did not work.

Guest 24:36

It was different this time. It was regular Coca-Cola, except the glass bottle cane sugar Mexican Coke.

Host 24:46

Yes. So you were at, I don't know, you were out one day and I said, I want you to bring me home an orange soda, like an orange Fanta, I think, and a Coke. And I am not a soda drinker. I only drank it during the like first trimester of pregnancy. Other than that, I don't drink it. I think it's gross now. But for some reason, you know, nauseous, need the bubbles, need the flavor. Well, with parosmia, coke had tasted horrible. Um, and I couldn't have it the last time. But for some reason, this time I was like, I don't know, it just sounds like it would be good. I'm just gonna try it. So I tried it with a nose plug first. And Chris, you brought me that giant Mexican bottle of Coke, and I drank the whole thing. Like in You deserved it.

Guest 25:36

You absolutely deserved it.

Host 25:37

In one sitting, and I was like, well, and I didn't throw it up. And so I was like, okay, I that's a winner. But what ended up happening was, you know, when you're pregnant and you need things to be so cold, you need them to be like ice cold all the time. You can't have anything room temp or any like so. What I ended up doing was having frozen coke. Oh, so the cokes that they make like at the movie theater or at the gas station, like when they have those little slushy slushy machines that have like Coca-Cola slushies or whatever. Frozen Coke, they sell them at McDonald's, which is like it's like crushing to admit how many times you lay down your pride, man. You and I went to McDonald's and I wasn't getting food, I was getting frozen coke. So much so that the lady at the drive-thru knew us, um, because it's like two minutes from my house, and she she would ask me how I'm doing because she knows she's like, Oh, I know this lady, one frozen coke. I know exactly who you are. Because it's not like you can save them, you can't like buy 10 and put them in your freezer. No, like you have to get it fresh every single time.

Guest 26:50

The texture would be gone.

Host 26:52

We would go to McDonald's twice a day, every day for days, just to get my frozen Cokes, just so I could make it through the day.

Guest 27:00

And then when uh McDonald's didn't have them, we discovered that Burger King did have them.

Host 27:05

Right, because their machine was down there. Yeah, their machine was down one day, so you had to go to Burger King to get it instead, or like gas stations and stuff. So, anyways, that's how I made it through the first half of the pregnancy was with frozen coke, and I seriously gained 20 pounds of frozen coke that's still sitting on my body right now.

Guest 27:26

I don't notice it.

Host 27:27

Okay, well, I do. Okay, this pregnancy, if you listen to I keep referencing the last episode because I may just listen to it. I just listened to it, but we did not find out the gender last time. I said I would never do that again. And you can hear why in that episode. But this time we did the sneak peek at home blood test to find out the gender. And based on when I did, you know, my retrospective menstrual cycle math, I was like, oh, it's definitely a boy. Like for sure, this is a boy. There's no way it could be a girl, other than the Lord, who obviously can do whatever he wants.

Guest 28:07

But I knew You're a mathematician.

Host 28:10

Well, I knew it was a boy, and so, but we, you know, obviously wanted to confirm. So at eight weeks, we did the test at home. And I remember like rolling out of the bed because I was so nauseous and like doing it on the floor of the bedroom. And Brinkley was in here with me, and it's like all the instructions are so they make a big deal about making sure there's no male DNA anywhere near the test. And so Brinkley was like, Boys, you all have to go outside. No boys allowed in the house because we can't contaminate the test. She was very serious about it. But we did. We were very good. We did cleaning everything, we had gloves on, we did like the whole nine yards to make sure that the blood sample was not contaminated.

Guest 28:55

On the box, it says pain-free. Was that true?

Host 28:58

It was. It was pain-free. Actually, I didn't feel it at all.

Guest 29:00

Wow, and you get these tests for those that are interested in these tests.

Host 29:05

Uh, you can get it pretty much anywhere. I think they sell them, but there's different versions. So there's like a there's like a pain-free version, and and then there's like a tiny little pinch version. And one of them you have to squeeze your own blood, and the other one it like collects it for you. It's like $20 more to get that one, and that's the one I got. But you can order them on Amazon, you can get them at like Walmart, CVS. It's called Sneak Peek. But anyway, so you you send it out in the mail, and a couple days later they tell you the gender. And duh duh, I was right. It was a boy.

Guest 29:42

You got an email, they sent you a nice little video that preluded to the fact that it was a boy before they announced that it was a boy.

Host 29:48

Yeah.

Guest 29:49

Because I could tell it was gonna rhyme.

Host 29:51

Right. Yes, it was a boy, which I knew. And I honestly, here's something I didn't share yet. Before we talked about getting pregnant this time, I had reached a contentness in my heart with having another boy because I didn't want to go into another pregnancy facing a big gender disappointment like I did last time, you know, because this was our fifth boy in a row. But this time I was like, in my heart and in my head, I was prepared for it to be a boy from before I ever knew we were pregnant. So when I found out we were pregnant and did the period math and knew that it was a boy, I was like, okay, it's it's all good.

Guest 30:36

And well, I just need to say that I I noticed that it was I noticed that in you. I noticed that contentness that it was a boy. Um and I was actually very, very pleasantly surprised and pleased, you know, because it's like I I want to be happy with whatever God gives us. And I saw that you were happy with what God gave us. Really sweet.

Host 31:01

Yeah, it was definitely uh so different from last time, and and it was really nice, honestly. And I um no tears. I wasn't like there was no disappointment at all. It was like this we're having another boy and we are happy about it. Yeah, you know, you live and you learn. And honestly, I have a couple reasons for why I was actually pretty glad it was a boy this time. I gotta share one of my reasons. I don't know if this is a shallow or a silly reason, and you probably don't know this about us, so I hope this isn't TMI. But our first three boys are circumcised, but our last two boys are not. And I was very happy that our only uncircumcised boy was gonna have an uncircumcised buddy to grow up with.

Guest 31:55

I don't even want to know what kind of buddy you call that, but it's definitely that.

Host 31:59

His brother. Um, and we don't have time to go into why we originally circumcised and then why we changed our minds and decided to stop doing it. If you want to hear an episode about that, let me know. And I'll be happy to dive into all things circumcision. But because we changed course there, I was glad to know that Indiana was going to have a boy to look like him and to grow up with.

Guest 32:27

So say it like it is, babe.

Host 32:30

Well, and honestly, at this point, this kind of sounds funny. I have nursed so many boys in a row. It just sounds kind of funny to me that I'm kind of like, I feel like it would be weird to nurse a girl, like, because I've nursed so many boys, and it's just like this whole mama-son relationship I've had going for so long, and I haven't nursed a girl in 12 years. That I'm like, that is that weird? Is that strange? Like, I don't know. It probably wouldn't be if I ever had a girl would come out and I'm sure it would not feel weird at all. But I don't know, nursing five boys.

Guest 33:04

So those were two reasons. Do you have any more?

Host 33:06

Those were two reasons. Um, I think I also just learned after the last pregnancy, and I remember we talked about this. I was like, if we ever get pregnant again, I because you and I don't want to assume that we're gonna get pregnant, but we I think wanted to get pregnant again.

Guest 33:21

And we've noticed that it's possible with us. Yes.

Host 33:25

And so it was like, if we ever get pregnant again, I am just going to put my hands up and say, This is all you, Lord. Like, I'll tell you my desires in, you know, the desires of my heart, but like, Lord, you are running the show. I surrender all of this to you. I learned my lesson. I have learned my lesson. It took me five babies, but I've learned that if I just surrender, it all goes better. And so the pregnancy started that way. Finding out we were pregnant three months before we planned on being pregnant, I was like, okay, we are starting out this pregnancy just how I said we would with surrender, because it started off, you know, not in my control.

Guest 34:11

And one thing I noticed is that, you know, coming off of the heels of the last birth is that um, you know, even listening to the story again, because I listened to it last week, it's like the attitude was never bad with any of the births, but there were things that were not being surrendered for both of us that we I think that this time around, we absolutely learned that lesson. Um, and we kind of are just at the point that's like we have babies, you know, and like in terms of like the gender thing, it's like no, we we have babies. We don't hope for a boy, we don't hope for a girl, we have children, you know, and whatever God gives us is great, and we are very pleased with that. And we see in hindsight, all of the amazing blessings that it is for us to have boys, particularly, and we totally see why God has given us, who he's given us, and we're really thankful for it. And so I think that looking back and seeing that it's very helpful in at least even in the surrendering process of saying, look at the well, look what God has done. Of course I'm gonna trust him because he didn't listen to my preferences, he didn't honor my prayers, but but that's because he knew that there was a better outcome coming in on the other side. And so after those lessons and after seeing it in hindsight, it's so much easier. I mean, I I don't want to necessarily say it's easy, it comes more naturally to surrender what your hopes are and what your preferences are when you see how good God is.

Host 35:45

I also think that honestly, doing this podcast for the last two and a half years and hearing all of those stories, those were all like inspiring to me and holding me accountable and helping me and encouraging me through this pregnancy and this birth in terms of surrender. And I went to 15 births this past year and being able to be with all those moms and watching them, you know, some of them not get quote unquote the birth they were planning on, but watching them surrender it and take joy in it and be happy in it. And it just it's it was always helpful for me. So okay, so first trimester, horrible as usual. I started feeling better around like 20 or some weeks, like usual, um, which is typically how it goes for me. I was still like randomly nauseous, probably through like 33 weeks, but it wasn't it wasn't like keeping me down anymore. I could still go about my day and have normal days, even though I would get these like waves of nausea. But something that was different about this sixth pregnancy and birth was for the first time we actually chose to do a free birth, which we've never done before. We debated it with our fifth one, tossed the idea around, kind of talked about it back and forth, um, ultimately decided to have our midwife with us for that one. But this time I felt very confident um and comfortable and excited to go the free birth route. And for those of you who don't know what a free birth is, which if you listen to the podcast, you probably figured it out. But it's basically an unassisted birth where you um and your husband just have the baby yourselves and you don't have um a midwife and attendance with you.

Guest 37:49

I will say it's a lot easier to have a free birth when you're a doula and a birth professional because you know all the stuff. So actually, I will say that one thing that um about free birth for me in particular, I know that you had your heart set on it. It took me a little while just to go ahead and land on it because I thought if you cut, you know, of a a couple scenarios where it's like, well, I would want someone available, like and at hand if this were to happen or if this were to happen. But over over time, you shared with me a lot of like a contingency plan for if some of these things did happen. And it's like, if that happens, then this is what you do. And if this happens, then this is what you do. And honestly, it it was a for me, it was a a lesson in learning how to trust God and not to not to worry because when I thought about it too much and I let my brain kind of go off, I would worry about potential negative outcomes in this birth if we did a free birth. But one thing about accepting free birth as an option was that it required more faith to have a free birth for us and for me in particular. Um, some people don't ever get there because honestly, probably just because they don't have enough kids to get there. But like the the truth is one thing that free birth taught me, um, and I'm not I don't think I'm getting ahead of myself when I say this, is that one thing that free birth taught me is that I need to surrender too, you know? And usually the woman is the one with all the birth preferences and the birth plans and this and that and the other. But as a as a father and as a husband, and then we're talking about my baby and the health of my wife, it's like I get I get all up on. Like when we're talking about that kind of stuff, I am like I'm ready to fight if it goes downhill. But um, when it comes to God, like he knows more than I know. He he is the great physician, he knew the blessing that it would be for us, and I needed to just trust him in that, and I did, and I'm very glad that I did. And I think that you know, we'll we'll touch on the details of that later, but yeah.

Host 39:57

And I just want to touch on free birth real quick and just say I didn't choose free birth because I'm like screw the system and I'm doing this on my own and peace out and all the things, but it was an an educated decision for me. I'm extremely well researched. I read a lot of books. I have been to a lot of births, I've birthed five of my own children. I had all the tools on hand that we would need. I was very open to transferring if I felt we needed to transfer. I walked those who would be in attendance through emergency plans. I had everything written out, I had everything marked, I had all of the tools, everything we would need ready to go. And I walked everyone through it and gave everyone a training session and said, like, I think I'll be with it. But should this happen, this is what you do. And should this happen, this is what you do. And and we were very well prepared. It's not like we were walking into free birth blindly or just saying, God, it's all on you, you know, like you got us. I know you got us. But it was like if my if the Holy Spirit told me at any point, like, Kaylee, you need to transfer or you need to call an MM1, I would have. But that, praise the Lord, did not happen. And nothing actually went wrong. And we were able to have our free birth, and I can't wait to tell you about it. Ultimately, I wanted to do it, one because I really did want more of a sacred experience for Chris and I, for you and I, for a little bit more intimacy in that regard, like less people in the room. Another reason is because I wanted to play a more active role in my own birth. And I wanted you to play a more active role in the birth. And you did too.

Guest 41:55

Yeah.

Host 41:55

And so I think sometimes when we have, you know, three midwives in the room, which is what we had the last couple of times, a midwife and her two assistants, but her assistants were also midwives, is that it's very easy for them to jump in and take over. And it feels very natural, even if we've discussed like you wanting to catch the baby or me wanting, you know, whatever we discussed before during prenatals, when when it's the moment and your baby's about to come out, it's just like things just go very quickly. And I've I've been in that position before as a doula where, you know, we've discussed certain things and then the moment happens and something goes really fast, or you're not in the position you planned on, or you're not in the location you planned on, or you know, whatever, and things just don't play out maybe how you thought. And so I knew that if there were no midwives here, that you and I would be playing the active roles in the birth and would be making, you know, all the decisions and also catching our own baby. It was gonna be one of us, you or I, we're gonna catch this baby.

Guest 43:06

Like, so this experience helped me a lot in my husbandry, um, and and taking steps in the direction of becoming a better husband, I think. And the reason I say that is because similar to what you said about, you know, kind of what naturally happens when there's not like a midwife there, it's like people just have to rise up to the occasion. Um, and for me, I think that's something that I wanted to do in the last two births, but because there was a birth professional there, all the responsibility and the weight of uh delivering the baby fell on them naturally. And so the fact that they weren't there actually it I felt so empowered to just step in and do it.

Host 43:49

Yeah.

Guest 43:50

Because there, and there was no excuse to let somebody else do it because it's like, no, it that's my job. This is my wife, this is my baby. And I get to step in and do this thing. And it was actually a really beautiful thing for me. And I think for for uh you as well, for me to just be able to step in and and be responsible for the environment and be responsible for what's happening and what's happening next. It was so helpful for me in terms of empowering me just to be an active husband and play an active role in the birth.

Host 44:26

Yeah, and it and it's on you. You know, when when no one else is there, you're aware that it's on you. And so you're much more, I feel like that much more attentive to what's going on.

Guest 44:37

Yeah.

Host 44:38

And I just want to say, midwives, home birth midwives, um, their assistants, they are worth their weight in gold. They're wonderful. I love them. I'm good friends with them. I obviously had them the last couple of times. Um, I'm not against that at all, whatsoever. Um, this was just something that I wanted to do. And I honestly, it was a great learning experience for me. It gave me the motivation to dive that much deeper into birth education, which I've been in for, you know, over a decade, but there's always more to learn. And when you're not, when you're not the midwife delivering the baby at every single birth, you know, then there is more to learn. And so I was excited to learn more. I took my own blood pressure, did my, you know, was keep keeping track of my own health. So it wasn't like I was just like, well, I hope this all works out. I was making sure I was healthy. I was very on top of my, you know, nutrition and um, you know, exercise, blood pressure, water intake, all the different things, swelling. I had some swelling in my legs that I got checked on. I've like, but it was, you know, everything was fine. We did choose to do an anatomy scan, um, which we did not do an ultrasound at all with the last pregnancy, but with this one, we did get one done and it was just the anatomy scan, and it was purely just so I could make sure that there were no reasons that we would need to go to a hospital right away with the baby, and also to make sure that my placenta was um nowhere near my cervix, which it was not.

Guest 46:26

That was that was the big concern for me. So that's why I wanted to get it.

Host 46:30

Yeah. So if I hadn't been doing a free birth, um, and I did have midwives in attendance like last time, then I probably wouldn't have gotten the ultrasound. Um, but it and it was quick. We did a quick one. It was not this like hour-long thing where we had to get a thousand images. She was the ultrasound tech was great about that. She got her pictures really quickly, and it was probably the shortest anatomy scan I've ever had. So, because I'm not super big on ultrasounds, but we didn't know.

Guest 47:00

And the ultrasound really those images were they were crispy.

Host 47:04

Well, we did I wasn't saying we got a really cute picture of him sucking his thumb.

Guest 47:08

Well, I was gonna say, like, even compared to like two babies ago, like even the actual quality of the of the 2D ultrasound. Holy moly, like I noticed this a stark difference there. What they can produce versus what they were producing, you know, four years ago.

Host 47:27

Yeah, but that tells you that they're probably that much worse for you for you and the baby.

Guest 47:33

Yeah, probably, yeah.

Host 47:35

So that was the route we were going. So I was not like going to you know, regular prenatals or anything. So the rest of the pregnancy went um normal, fine, regular. I had doula clients up until early October, late September. Actually, my last official client had her baby on my birthday, which was really fun. I've never had a birthday baby client before. So that was really fun. I'll never, I'll never forget that. Her mom sent me home with a giant full cake from Maxi B's, which I remember that. Maxie B's in Greensboro. It was my favorite cake from Maxi B's, and I thought I was going home with a slice, and she sent me home the entire cake. And I was like, this is the best birthday ever.

Guest 48:28

Oh my gosh. I remember that. I was blown away.

Host 48:31

It was awesome. But the kids were also thrilled that I brought home an entire cake.

Guest 48:35

Um, who wouldn't be?

Host 48:36

That was really, really fun. But the end of the pregnancy came. We've always done like a baby moon with our babies. This time, that just wasn't an option this time. Um, but my mom was gracious enough. She came over and she actually set it up so we could do an overnight at a hotel here in Greensboro for the night, and she would keep the kids um for the night for us. And so we did get like one night away, um, just the two of us, which was nice. But way, way better than nothing for sure. Um that was a great night. Enjoyed, enjoyed that. Another different thing about this pregnancy is that my due date, technically, which we all know, those are guesses, we get that. But um, my due date 40 weeks would have been November 22nd. It was the Saturday before Thanksgiving. But I, who in the past, if you've listened to all of my other stories, am usually like, let's get this baby out, let's be done with this. I reach this like desperate point where I'm so desperate and I just want to be done being pregnant and I want the baby out and I want to meet the baby and all these things. I did not have that this time, which was so different for me. I and honestly, it was so nice. It was so nice not to feel desperate to get the baby out, not to be trying to control things, not be frustrated that I'm still pregnant. Like it was so nice. And I think a couple of things played factors into that. One was that I was in a mode of surrender. I was in a mode of like, I'm not in control of when this baby comes out. So why would I why would I try to do anything to get it out? Um, and I've learned my lessons from the past. Two was um I was not that uncomfortable. Yes, I was uncomfortable because I'm third trimester, end of pregnancy with my sixth child, and I make big babies. But my chiropractor, shout out to Dr. Kim of Village Family Chiropractic in Kernersville. Um, she helped me so much. Like my last adjustment with her before I had my baby, I was having, you know, the normal really bad hip pain where you're tossing and turning all night because your hips are so sore. And she worked some crazy chiropractic magic and did this thing that I've never seen before. And I slept like a log that night. Like I got the best sleep that I'd had in weeks that night. It was so good.

Guest 51:18

She just That's a win for the mom and for the husband because the husband wants the mom to get sleep. And when she can't, you can't do anything about it.

Host 51:26

Yes. So that was nice. So I just wasn't as uncomfortable.

Guest 51:30

Um I will say if you want to hear Dr. Kim, she is awesome. If you want to hear her birth stories, she's on episode 50. There, it's an incredible journey that she has been on.

Host 51:39

Oh, yeah. Her birth stories are wild and amazing. You should definitely go check hers out. So, yeah, so she was super helpful. I what, you know, wasn't uncomfortable. And I also I really would have liked to make it through Thanksgiving. You know, it'd be really nice to be pregnant on Thanksgiving and and and not have, you know, a postpartum diaper on and engorged boobs and all the things. So I was thinking, I'll just stay nice and plump and pregnant. And honestly, my other thought was that my son, our oldest son, his birthday's in November. And I thought, well, if I can make it to December, then they'll have like two different birthday months and they won't share birthday month because none of our kids share birthday month until now. Um, but I was like, I can make it to December. That's only 41 weeks. I've gone to 41 weeks a few times before. I could totally do that.

Guest 52:34

Like, I did not want you to go. I know you did December. Well, it's funny because I was calling a November baby.

Host 52:40

I think our prayers were countering each other. And I think I told you that your prayers were stronger because I was praying, like, Lord, I would love a December baby. Like, I would love to make it through Thanksgiving. Like, I would I I did not want to be done being pregnant this time. And that that just blows my mind because I I think I just had a totally different mindset, and I was really just trying to enjoy and soak up everything about the pregnancy, and I wanted to stay pregnant as long as I could.

Guest 53:08

And honestly, I was so proud of you that you did that. Um, because historically you're just you you you just want to be done.

Host 53:16

I didn't have an emotional breakdown this time. I didn't I didn't have any of that. No, I had days where I was like really tired and I was like, I need a nap, or you know, I just need a milkshake. Um but I never locked myself in the bathroom and cried. Good for you. Good for me.

Guest 53:34

And thank you.

Host 53:35

You're welcome. So end of pregnancy comes. 38, 39, 40 weeks happens, and I'm just chilling. No signs. I have Braxton Hicks contractions every time. Well, I didn't with my first, but with all my other with all the boys, I have Braxton Hicks for at least four weeks leading up to the birth baby. So sometimes more. So to me, that's not really a sign that I'm gonna go into labor. So it was a Monday. It was Monday the 24th, the Monday before Thanksgiving.

Guest 54:21

Ooh, what's that?

Host 54:23

Well, babe, that is that's our food co-op that does drops here once a month um in Greensboro. Oh, yeah. And then go pick up my grain that I use to make our freshly milled flour. Okay. Also a topic for another day, another podcast.

Guest 54:44

It's like a crunchy people meetup.

Host 54:46

It is a crunch, it is a crunchy people meetup. Where they get all their crunchy foods.

Guest 54:49

That's in whole form.

Host 54:50

And in line, and you talk about all the crunchy things. So I was having Braxton Hicks. I was actually talking to people in line that day, my friends that I saw there, and they're like, Oh, you know, in a normal end-of-pregnancy talk about due dates and how you're feeling and all the things. And I was like, I'm so good. I'm just having Braxton Hicks, it's no big deal. We're gonna, we're gonna fly through Thanksgiving. This is gonna be great. And it was a beautiful day, sunny and probably like 60 degrees or something. So get home. I was noticing that I was having those Braxton Hicks contractions every few minutes or so. And I, but they didn't hurt, they weren't crampy, they were just like the normal Braxton Hicks. And so I even told you I was eating lunch and you like came home and I said, Man, I really hope these contractions sort of like died down because I was getting ready to go see a movie. You were letting me go see Wicked for Good. I know some Christians You're welcome. Like, thank you. I know some Christians don't approve of that movie, but I've been a lover of the musical since I was in high school, since it came out really. And we went to go see it a couple of times when we were dating. And I just that's my favorite musical. I love it. It's phenomenal. It is incredible if you've ever seen the Broadway show. Um, and so of course, when the movie came out, I was curious and wanted to see it. And I saw the first half, you know, last year, and so I I wanted to see the second half.

Guest 56:23

And I told you the first movie, yeah.

Host 56:25

I said, I want to see it in the theater, and I want to see it with surround sound and the big, you know, loud and everything. I don't want to just wait and watch it on my TV with the newborn. I said, So I'm gonna lose my chance. And I told you, I said, if I don't go soon, I'm not gonna get to see this movie in the theater because I'm gonna have a baby and then I won't get to go.

Guest 56:43

Well, I got postponed too, and we had to, I mean, it did. It was scheduled for earlier.

Host 56:47

Yeah, we I tried to go see it a few days before. So you came home, you said, okay, I'm done working for the day, you can go to the movies. So I went to like a matinee, and I had contractions the entire time. And again, they weren't crampy, nothing was revving up. It was just every four or five minutes or so I would have this, you know, Braxton Hicks contraction. And it was kind of distracting me from the movie, honestly, because I was like, goodness, these need to like calm down, like slow down. And I texted you through the movie and told you like that I was having them. And I said, I think I need to like take a bath when I get home, you know, have a glass of wine, like just try to calm my body and just like stop these contractions. So got home, had some dinner, drew a bath, and you know, did that whole thing, got in the bath. Um, I did have a glass of wine and they did slow down. They spread apart, they weren't as close together, and they weren't as um strong as they had been. Um, so I was like, okay, good, cool. We're calming everything down. This is great. We had already decorated for Christmas because I knew that there was a chance that the baby could come before I would get a chance to do that. So we decorated early just to make sure everything was up. So therefore, that means you can watch Christmas movies, even though it's before Thanksgiving.

Guest 58:13

So we were That's a tough sell for me, just so you know.

Host 58:17

Well, but you know, I know, but but we did it. We watched the original Miracle on 34th Street, the black and white version. Uh and it, you know, it was really sweet for a couple of reasons. One, because it was the week of Thanksgiving, and like the first section of that movie is happening, you know, on Thanksgiving. And two, Indiana, so my baby at the time, my youngest, he sat with us and watched that movie with us and ate popcorn with us and cuddled with us, and it was like he knew. And that whole week leading up to having Bowie, he was so much clingier, but not in like an annoying way, just in like a sweet way, where it was as if he knew this was about to change, like, and he knew that like his days were numbered in terms of being the baby. And so that night, do you remember I put him to bed and you took a video of me putting him to bed? And I didn't know you were taking a video. And it was just like this last night, just me and Indy reading him a story, holding him, cuddling him, you know, singing and praying over him and putting him down. And it was like, I didn't know that was the last night he was my last baby. I didn't like, or not my last baby, but the last time he would be the baby. Um, I didn't know, but the Lord knew, and somehow Indy knew. It was just, it was really sweet. It was really just like a gift from the Lord that like we just got that really special time together, not knowing that that was our last night of him being the youngest.

Guest 59:52

Yeah, I guess I didn't realize that. And that is just really precious. That's really sweet.

Host 59:56

You took the video and you showed me after.

Guest 59:58

I took the video, but I didn't I guess I didn't realize that that was the night before you went into labor. Yeah, or that it was the night. Wow.

Host 1:00:06

So then I went to bed. It was like 10 o'clock, and I was like, okay, I'm going to bed. I'm tired. And I fell right asleep. And it was great. I didn't even have a heating pad on or anything because the contractions I was having didn't hurt. They were just Braxton Hicks. So I got my bed, went to sleep, slept for a few hours. I think about four hours. And then True woke up with an earache. So you went up there with him, gave you the garlic drops, and you went and cuddled in bed with him. Jensen came down. He was the one who told us that True was upset. So then Jensen ended up in our bed. You were up in True's bed. Then Indiana woke up and he was upset. So then I went up with Indy and I was holding him and you know, got him to go back down. And it was just sort of like, what, what, why is everybody up?

Guest 1:00:58

Musical beds.

Host 1:00:59

Yes, musical beds. So then I came back down and Jensen was still asleep in our bed. I got in our bed, I got all settled, you know, I went to the bathroom and everything, settled back in, and I had my first real contraction, you know, where they shift, where it's different, where it's crampy, and it hits you like deep inside yourself, and you're like, oh, that one was different. And honestly, in my flesh, my first reaction was no, no, no, it's not time. I I would really like to go back to sleep, please. Can you can I please just go back to bed? Like, and it's not be it. Like, Lord, no, and it's not December yet, and it's not even Thanksgiving yet. Like, can I please just go back to sleep? Like, that was my first gut reaction. So the contraction ended. I tried to fall asleep, but five minutes later, here comes another deep, crampy contraction, and I said, Okay. And I literally said out loud, I surrender. I surrender. Okay.

Guest 1:02:10

There it was.

Host 1:02:11

If Lord, if this is the night and you want him to be born, then you must have a reason. So I surrender. So I laid there and I knew it was it was time. And my last couple labors were only about four hours long from start to finish. So I sort of expected this one to be, you know, kind of around that time frame. I didn't have like a hard expectation. It wasn't like I was banking on it, but it was like I didn't really have a reason to think it would be much longer than that. So I tried to rest a little bit longer, but when I shift into active labor, which is what it was, because clearly I must have been an early labor all day Monday and just not to me it, they didn't feel real. So I wasn't, it wasn't real to me, but I was shifting into active labor. It was about 2 45, 3 o'clock in the morning when this was happening. And it was definitely three by the time I knew like this was it. And I started getting the shakes, and I my teeth started chattering, and I started having to go to the bathroom, and my body started purging itself. And it's done that in a few of my other labors too.

Guest 1:03:20

That's the sign.

Host 1:03:21

Yep, that's the sign. And I was like, yep, this is definitely it. Going to the bathroom four times in a row. This is this is it. So once I felt like I needed to get up, which was pretty quickly, I did, and I came upstairs and you were in True's room, and I woke you up, and I didn't say anything. I just woke you up, and just to say, like, hey, like, come back downstairs, like come back and sleep in your bed. But then when we got out to the hallway, I gave you the look.

Guest 1:03:53

Yeah.

Host 1:03:54

I didn't say anything. I just gave you the look.

Guest 1:03:57

That was that's that's how I knew.

Host 1:03:59

And you knew it was time. Seriously, I just nodded. I just looked at you and I went, and I nodded. Like, yeah, this is it. Like you knew. Yeah. And you said, What do I need to do? And we were walking down the stairs, and I said, make a fire, like in the fireplace.

Guest 1:04:16

Yeah. Make a fire. Oh, set the ambiance. Babe, I'm good at that. I'll do that. I did.

Host 1:04:20

I wanted you to set up the room in the atmosphere because the last two babies I had in my bedroom, and this one I wanted to have in the living room because the Christmas tree was up and everything was all decorated and it was nighttime and all the twinkle lights, and and it was really a very peaceful, soothing, relaxing atmosphere, especially with the fire going.

Guest 1:04:44

Yeah, it was idyllic for sure.

Host 1:04:47

So you started setting up everything. Um, you did the fire, you were setting up the tub, getting all that ready. I was calling uh my mom and my sister, and um, I was gonna have a friend come take photographs if she could. Turned out she couldn't, but that's okay. And I was I had a couple other friends who were invited, but also neither of which made it. So it ended up only being my mom and my sister who came. But I prayed to the Lord through this pregnancy, like, whoever needs to be there, have them be there. Lord, like whoever you want in the room when it's time, like have them in the room.

Guest 1:05:30

Um which is a stark contrast from Lord, please let these people be able to come. Please let this person be able to come, and this person, please, Lord, like I beg of you.

Host 1:05:38

Yes.

Guest 1:05:38

As opposed to like, Lord, you do it.

Host 1:05:41

Yes.

Guest 1:05:41

And this like I trust you.

Host 1:05:43

This was the first birth my sister's ever come to. She's never wanted to come in the past. It's not her thing, but she wanted to come this time. And I was so excited about that. Um, because I know she wants to have kids one day. And so I was like, this would be such a great opportunity for. Her to like witness normal, natural birth outside of the hospital system. And like she knows about it from me, but she's never witnessed it. So I was I was really excited for her to see it. Personally, that was really exciting for me that she was gonna be there.

Guest 1:06:17

That was really special. Yeah, I'm like, I'm glad she was able to make it. Should we say what time of of in the morning this? This was at three, you woke me up at 3 30 in the morning.

Host 1:06:24

Uh for the record. 3 30. Okay. I woke up at 3 30. Um and you were setting everything up. I was walking around, changed into a different. Well, I changed into a bra. I didn't have a bra on. So I changed into a bra. I got out my heating pad, got out my ball, you know, walked around, was got my water and my salt, my honey, like just was trying to prepare myself for if I needed.

Guest 1:06:50

Oh, tell tell us why salt and honey.

Host 1:06:52

Well, just a lot of women don't feel like eating when they get to that part of labor. And that part of labor comes pretty quickly for me. And so it's just like for electrolytes and for like a little bit of sugar. If you need like a little bit more, like a little energy boost, keeping you hydrated, that type of stuff. Um, I had my water with me, you know, sipping on my water. And it was just like if I needed it, and I really didn't need it this time, but I had it there just in case. Um, got out all the supplies, had all the just in case stuff. I had all the directions written out in the red folder in case anyone needed to reference them. Like we didn't know. It was a red folder. It was a red folder. It was definitely a red folder. Couldn't miss it. So my sister and my mom got there and we were chatting. And my sister was just so surprised that I was so normal between contractions. She was just like, You're just like talking and walking like normal. Like, what you're in labor. And I was like, Well, Meg, like the Lord gives you breaks, like He designed it built-in breaks for you. And so when I'm not having a contraction, I feel totally fine. And she's like, Wow, like I just remember her being so surprised and taken back by that. Um, and I was like, Yeah, we even like took a little video um in between contractions, which was fun.

Guest 1:08:11

And um I love seeing people uh come to realization that birth isn't what they thought it was, it's actually a it's actually better.

Host 1:08:22

Yeah, it's so much better. Um so then it was probably around like five, I think like 515 or so when I, you know, got a little serious. I got like sat down, I put the heating pad on, you sat down, you started giving me some counterpressure. And I realized this was a different thing again for this birth. I did not really want the counterpressure this time. And I always want counter pressure and I always need it like so hard on my back, and I need you to like give it all you've got. But this time when you did that, it like felt worse. And so it was like all I needed actually was just like a rub. I just need you to like rub my back with normal amount of pressure and not like push on it, which I've had other clients want that in the past, and I'm like confused because I've never experienced that. But I did it this time. I was like, oh, you know what? That pressure is actually a little too much, and it actually kind of makes it worse. So if you could not do that, that would be great. And I think that was early for you because then you didn't have to do all this hard counter pressure.

Guest 1:09:27

Well, it's all that I've known up until this point is that Kayla needs that counterpressure. And when you said that you didn't need it, I was like, Oh, this is new.

Host 1:09:36

Yeah, it was nice. Yeah, that should have been the moment I knew he was smaller, but I didn't think about that in the moment. Not small, just smaller. But so then I, you know, I had a little bit of labor time. It was probably like 30, 30 or 45 minutes, where I was like on the ball and I was rocking back and forth, and I had my heating pad, and I was playing my worship music, and I was like breathing through contractions, and then eventually moaning through contractions and just vocalizing. And I was explaining to my sister, and I told you to explain this to the kids when they eventually came out, but I was explaining to my sister, I was like, just so you know, you're gonna hear me start moaning. I'm gonna be making some noises. It does not mean I'm in pain, it does not mean I am suffering. It simply helps me get through the contraction better. It feels better to make these noises and it helps my body to open up, you know, the low moaning noises. And she was like, uh, okay. But it's just like if you don't give someone a heads up about that and they've never been to a birth before, they're gonna be like, oh my gosh, they get concerned.

Guest 1:10:41

Yeah.

Host 1:10:42

So you came up to me after I started vocalizing and you were like, Should I go get the kids? Like, when should I get the kids? Because last time they missed it and they wanted to be there. And I kind of hesitated, and then I was like, uh, I think after the next contraction I had, I was like, Yeah, go ahead and go get go get the kids. It was like 545 or something. And so I was sitting on the ball right in front of the tub. I had not gotten in the tub yet. And if you've listened to my other stories, you'll know that I've never had a water birth, but I've always wanted one. And you'll have to listen to the other stories to find out why I didn't have them. But I was sitting right there and I had this contraction. I will say this time my labor pains were a lot sharper. They were very sharp, and they're usually not that sharp, they're usually more achy, they're always crampy, but like it's usually like a deeper, achy, crampy. And this was more like a sharpy, sharp crampy, which I didn't really enjoy. But it was fine. It wasn't like it wasn't overwhelming. So I was sitting right in front of the tub and I had my a contraction, and at the peak of it, I had the most like mild vaginal pressure. It was very mild, and it was and it was like almost like if I hadn't had babies before, I probably wouldn't have noticed it. But I was very in tune with my body, noticed it. And in that moment, I thought I should probably prepare to get in the tub because I always think I I always think I have longer left to go than I actually do. And so I didn't want to like miss my chance again. But I also know how important an empty bladder is for labor and delivery and pushing and all the things. And so I thought, okay, let me go ahead and go to the bathroom one more time. So you came with me to the bathroom. We went to the bathroom, which of course had another contraction or two through that experience. And then I said, okay, I'm getting like I'm getting in the tub. And I remember you announced it. We like came out of the bathroom and you're like, guys, she's getting in the tub. She's getting in the tub.

Guest 1:12:43

And so I it's a big moment. So hey.

Host 1:12:47

My sister even took a video of me stepping into the tub, like, okay, big moment. Um, so I got in the tub at 6:03 a.m. And immediately, I don't know if like I laughed out loud, but in my head I was laughing because the water displacement, when I got in the tub, I noticed how much the water went up and we like went past the max line and all that stuff. And that's when I told you guys, I was like, okay, you guys need to get some water out of here. So I had like, I don't know if you were helping, but my mom and my sister got the big pots and they just started emptying water out of the tub because I knew that if you were going to get in, which I didn't know at the moment whether or not you were going to, but if you were going to get in, I was like, it's gonna overflow and splash all over the floor. So we got we gotta get some water out of here. And so they just I remember they got some pots and they came in and just started scooping it out.

Guest 1:13:43

It was a comical sight.

Host 1:13:45

It was funny. I was laughing on the inside, even if I wasn't on the outside. While they're scooping the water out, I have one contraction in the tub, like one actual whole contraction in the tub where I would consider it laboring in the tub. One contraction. And then when my next contraction came, so did the noise, the fetal ejection reflex noise that just takes over your entire body. And I will never forget this moment. I started making that noise. You were like turn, you had your back turned to me, you were facing the fire. I think you were poking it or something, and you turned, you whipped around, like you whipped around and jumped in the tub. And you what did you say?

Guest 1:14:41

You said I said, Oh, we're doing this, aren't we? Oh, we're doing this or something like that.

Host 1:14:45

Oh, we're doing this. You like whipped around from the fire and jumped in the tub. And I was like, Oh, he is, he is ready for this. And because I mean, we all know how fast it went last time. So my mom and my sister, they whipped out their cameras, they were ready. My Brinkley and Milo were up with us by then.

Guest 1:15:04

And they had only been out there for like 20 minutes at this point.

Host 1:15:06

Yeah, it was only 20 minutes, and so they Brinkley was on my left side, she was holding my arm, Milo was on my right side, he was holding my other arm, and I didn't even realize they were holding my arms until I saw the pictures later. But it was six they were rubbing your arms, yeah.

Guest 1:15:20

They were they were rubbing your arms and they were trying to comfort you because they heard the noises you were making, and they were it was really it's a beautiful thing that um it was a beautiful sight, but I also have pictures of it, and it's just uh it was just so sweet watching our oldest two comforting you while you were giving birth to their little brother, you know, anyway.

Host 1:15:42

Anyway, it was it was sweet. I didn't realize they were comforting me, but they were comforting me. I was kind of locked into the moment. So it was 6.09 when this was happening. That's when Megan and my mom started recording at 6.09. And I start involuntarily pushing, and my water breaks, and I'm in the water. I said, Oh, I think I announced that. I was like, my water broke or my water just broke.

Guest 1:16:08

Yep, you did announce it.

Host 1:16:09

Um I felt it. And then you had your hands down there and you were like given the play by play. I loved it. You were like, Okay, okay, he's crowning, okay, his head's out, okay, he's turning. And like I loved your play by play because even though I'm like had, you know, so many babies and I've I know what this feels like, it was good to know what was going on because I could feel his head was coming out, but it was sort of like, is it out yet? I don't actually know. And you were able to tell me, which was great. So then um I kept pushing and I thought the rest of him was out, but I guess I pushed him out up to like what his butt or something.

Guest 1:16:53

That's uh it was hard to tell with the you know through the water, but that's that's my guess. You it was definitely somewhere between his chest, yeah. I would say it was probably you know, up to his butt. Yeah, yeah.

Host 1:17:05

And then I think you said, no, babe, one more push. Like, you gotta give me one more push. And I was like, oh, okay. And then I just, you know, push the rest of him out in that moment. But um what was funny is that in my last birth, my last two births, but especially the fourth one, I was very quiet when I was pushing. And I was like, all my focus was concentrated on pushing, and I wasn't actually making any noise, especially for true's birth. I was like so hyper focused on not making noise because I had screamed in my third one. Um, and so for this one, I was not thinking at all. I was literally just feeling, and I roared him out, like roared this baby out. And I roared so loudly that our four-year-old and six-year-old woke up and they came running out of their rooms because Jensen was in our bed, so he was on the same floor. But True heard it all the way upstairs with his closed bedroom door, with his fan on loud, heard me roaring, and he woke up. Both of them woke up and came running in. And you see them in the pictures and video in the background, them like coming in right, like right after he came out. But it was it was funny.

Guest 1:18:26

So then technically, like You were a lioness, babe. Yes, a mighty lioness roaring there's a baby out.

Host 1:18:33

I don't know if I've ever roared a baby out like I roared Bowie out.

Guest 1:18:36

Yeah, you did it. That was awesome.

Host 1:18:38

You caught him, you were the first one to touch him, you caught him.

Guest 1:18:43

Oh gosh, it was awesome. I wanted to catch Indiana, our last baby. I wanted to catch the last one. It didn't happen because the moment just got it happened really fast, and our midwife caught our our last baby. But for me to actually be the first person to touch my son and to be the person who brings him into this world, what an incredible, what an honor that was. It was um it's his first moment of life, and I get to be the one to catch him coming out of you, and we're co-laboring to get this baby out, and it's just you and me. And so for it just to be you and me laboring to get this baby out, and obviously you're doing all the dang old work, and all I'm doing is like, yeah, I'm just holding him, you know, and trying to kind of guide him out. But um, what an incredible honor to be the first person to touch my baby, to catch my baby. It's it was really amazing.

Host 1:19:43

Well, you brought him up to me, and you immediately, of course, handed him to me and put him on my chest, and we were all just like in awe. My sister, I remember her being like, I can't believe you just did that. That was so fast. I can't believe you just did that. How did you just do that? And I was just like, Did she say that? I didn't hear that. Yeah, and I was just like, I think I was like, My baby, my baby, or Bowie, Bowie, or like, I don't know. I don't I have to watch the video.

Guest 1:20:10

I don't know if I was saying his name or you said you kept saying he's here, he's here, he's here.

Host 1:20:15

It was so sweet, like, yeah, and um holding him and he cried right away, which I know you were like holding your breath for just a second, but he did. He cried right away.

Guest 1:20:26

And he and we I honestly it it what I wasn't worried about it a ton this time.

Host 1:20:31

Well, I think like preemptively, like when we were you know planning a free birth, you were I think that was one of your thoughts was kind of like, well, what if he doesn't cry?

Guest 1:20:39

It was because of because of our experience of Milo's birth, but in the moment, I was actually it wasn't even on my mind until I heard him, and then I was like, Oh yeah, I was worried about that.

Host 1:20:49

But not yeah.

Guest 1:20:51

Um what also was really sweet is that you you took a moment after he was born and you just said, Can we just praise Jesus for what he just did?

Host 1:21:01

Yeah, I did.

Guest 1:21:02

And so and for me, watching you do that was so rewarding because it made your your journey of surrender almost come full circle to where it's like uh you were considering God and how he was working in your body and in your mind the whole time and in Bowie's body and in the womb. But then for him to come out and for you to almost immediately give praise to God that your baby has come, it was just, I mean, even thinking about the last birth, I'm just I'm just really thankful that that was that that was your heart attitude. Your heart attitude was praise, your heart attitude was worship and thanksgiving, and it wasn't like, oh well, you know, it wasn't exactly what I wanted, but you know, there's such a difference. Um and it just shows, honestly, it shows how how much growth had taken place in you from even the last the last birth.

Host 1:21:59

Yeah, I do remember that moment. I don't know if it's on video or not, but my sister did take pictures or someone took pictures, and I um I do. I do remember saying praise you. I think I just said praise Jesus over and over again and just lifted my No, you invited everyone to praise Jesus. Oh wow.

Guest 1:22:17

You said, Can we just praise Jesus for what just happened? That's what you said. It was very sweet.

Host 1:22:22

Well, I praised him with one hand because I was holding my baby with the other hand. But um we and I remember we all commented on how small he was. We were like, look how he was so small.

Guest 1:22:33

Yes, like he was so small.

Host 1:22:35

Well, of course, you know, we're used to giant babies and so big fatty chunkers, but it's like man, oh man, looking at him, I was like this baby, he wasn't a tiny baby or a small baby, like he wasn't. He was he ended up being um eight pounds, 10 ounces. But I've never had a baby at eight pounds before. Like we've had nine and ten plus. Um, and of course, Brinkley was seven. Uh she's just like in a league of her own. I don't know, I don't count her with the boys, but um, yeah, he was eight ten and uh and his head was a lot smaller, and I think that's why I didn't need the counter pressure. Like, cause I he just wasn't this giant baby that I'm used to, and he was very easy to push out. So 609 is when all of that started, and he was born at 6'10.

Guest 1:23:26

So it was incredible the the speed at which things progressed once you got on the water, amazing.

Host 1:23:32

Yeah, so it was very fast, and you know what's crazy? I never lost my mucus plug that whole time, never had any bloody show, nothing. And so, and you said, and it must have, it must have just all come out like right right as he was being born, because I definitely had zero mucus, like nothing during labor or before labor or anything.

Guest 1:23:53

Tell tell him about the umbilical cord.

Host 1:23:56

Yeah, I was gonna get to that. So I would say the one thing that happened that I, you know, if I had my choice, I would have said, let's not have that happen. Um, was, and I don't know if this because he was a smaller baby than we've used to, or he came sooner. I have no idea why this happened. He had a short cord, and all of my babies have had long cords. They've always been able to come all the way up to my chest and touch my chin, honestly. I've always been able to pull them with like no tension on the cord. I've always been able to just like pull them up all the way up to my chin, shoulder, like, and have plenty of slack in my cord. But that was not the case this time. And in the moment, you know, you're just bringing your baby up out of the water. You're not like checking a bunch of things. So we pulled him up out of the water. And I've been at one other birth where this happened, just one other one. Um, we pulled him up out of the water and the cord snapped, like, just like poof. And you see it in the video, which I didn't see it happen in the moment. I was just like pulling him towards me and I did not see it happen. But then you see it in the video, and then you told me, like, I don't know, the minute after he was born. You were like, hey, the the cord broke. And I was like, what do you mean the cord broke?

Guest 1:25:15

And then you showed it to me, and I was like, oh man, like pure because he was already Well, I was so so I um I noticed that the cord was wrapped around his neck.

Host 1:25:27

It wasn't around his neck.

Guest 1:25:28

What it it was around his neck.

Host 1:25:30

Not when he was born, though. If you well, sorry to like go back and forth while we're recording this, but I went and looked back at the video. It was not around his neck when he was born, it was around his chest. Like it was like around his chest, but loosely. It wasn't like tight around his chest, it was loosely around his chest.

Guest 1:25:49

Okay, Iverson.

Host 1:25:51

Yeah, and so um, so and so just when you pulled him up, it like it just snapped. Like, and then we did go back and measure afterwards, um, you know, a few hours later, we measured the cord like from the placenta and from his body, and it was definitely shorter than all my other babies, like significantly shorter. So I don't know why that happened this time. I honestly don't know why it was a short cord. And he was fine. I mean, he was crying, it wasn't like he needed all of it, but you know, the doula and childbirth educator in me was like, no, no delayed cord clamping, no, like because we don't ever cut it until after the placenta is born. And so that was just sad for me that he wasn't gonna get that cord blood and stuff, but but he was fine. I mean, he was crying and he was alert and looking around, his color became good. I mean, he was, you know, not pink immediately, but he pinked up well, and so it was fine. That was the only thing I would have changed. But, you know, I also in in this birth of surrender, I trust that the Lord had a reason for that happening. Like, you know, I don't know. I did immediately, as soon as you said that, I went down to feel where the rest of the cord was. I wanted to make sure it wasn't on the inside of me, like I wanted to see where it snapped, and it snapped on the outside, which was good. So I could there was still like a line of cord hanging, hanging out from me, which was good because that helped me deliver the placenta better. So it was fine. Like I wasn't bleeding out, it wasn't bleeding out, it wasn't like there was blood, of course, when it initially snapped, like there was blood that came out of it, but it was not like bleeding, if that makes sense.

Guest 1:27:31

Like it Yeah, it's funny when you watch the video, there's the water's clear and then all of a sudden he comes out and it's just a bunch of blood.

Host 1:27:39

I always do bleed after I do live, after I deliver. I've done that every single baby. I've always bled after. I know there are women who like deliver their baby and then no blood comes out, but I have always have always had blood come out. So yeah, the pool got you know darker, but it was fine. I was not like I wasn't hemorrhaging, I wasn't losing blood. Blood, it wasn't like that. I was actually the most coherent I've ever felt after having a baby. I don't know. It was wild. I was very alert. Um, and it was so okay. I just feel like through this process of surrender, the Lord answered so many prayers. And, you know, one of them for the free birth, one of them for everything to go smoothly, you know, one of them for you to catch and to have the water birth. That was my first water birth. And I loved it. Like, and I was so glad I got to do it. Now it did feel like it was over before it started, um, because it just went so fast. And I time just like it went so fast, not just in labor, but like the moment he was born. It was, I remember I delivered my placenta a little bit after that. My placenta's usually come pretty quickly. That was actually a really cool experience, like delivering my own placenta and like doing the examination and like holding up the sack and like showing everyone like this is where the baby was, and this is where it was attached to me, and this is where it was attached to him, and showing all the loads.

Guest 1:29:06

You were being a scientist.

Host 1:29:07

I was it was fun, and we were doing that all in the water at that point. You were holding him so I could deliver the placenta myself. And it was cool because that was the soonest you've ever gotten like good skin to skin time with the baby.

Guest 1:29:19

That was uh that was awesome, really special. And obviously, I mean, we never had a water birth before. So, I mean, just to to be in the water with the baby and have him on my chest. Oh, it's just it's great bonding time for dad. Yeah. Just as much as it is, you know, just like it's good bonding time for mom. You know, she's got all the hormones rushing through, but I mean, dad's got all the emotions running through him too. It's like, I mean, it's a beautiful moment. And yeah, to have that skin to skin so quickly and right away, and even just being in the in the birth tub, just very sweet and special. Yeah.

Host 1:29:51

Honestly, it probably wouldn't have handed him to you if the cord hadn't snapped like as soon as I did. Like I would have waited till after I delivered the placenta and I was getting out of the tub and stuff. At that point, maybe I would have handed him over. But because it was he was already detached, um, I handed him to you so I could deliver the placenta and then like do the examination right there in the tub, which was cool. It was sort of like, yes, it's an extra layer of responsibility, but at the same time, it felt really cool to do it and be like, I just delivered this and look, I can now look at it and teach you guys about all the different parts and sides of it and everything. So, so that was fun. And it was so I like, and probably because it was such a short labor and a very short pushing stage that I was able to just like get right up out of the water. Like you were holding Bowie and Megan and my mom, and I had been in there for an hour and didn't realize it. I was like, gosh, guys, that went really fast because I felt like I was in there for 15 minutes, but it was an hour. So they got me out, helped me walk to the bathroom, and I was moving so good. I was just like walking around like nothing just happened. And I did, you know, obviously, once I like got settled in bed, I rested for a long time. But it just I felt so good like getting up out of the water and going to the bathroom and all the things. And time just went so fast. I remember when you guys were saying, like, well, when are you, when are we gonna weigh him and measure him? And I thought, well, when when he's a couple hours old, and you guys were like, he's three hours old. I was like, what? No way. There's no way he's three hours old. And you guys were like, yep, it's 9.15. It was just time just went so, so, so, so, so, so fast. And it's still going so fast. Like, he's almost seven weeks now. And I'm like, How? How are you almost seven weeks? You were born yesterday.

Guest 1:31:44

I will say that I've noticed specifically with this pregnancy, that especially during like the early postpartum phase, the older that he got, the more sorrowful that you became that he was growing older. I know, you know, I know it's like it's like he was he was born, oh, he's already three hours old. And then it's like when he was a week old, we we said happy, you know, like he's a week old today, and you started crying, and like, yeah, it was just different this time. But my question is like talking about how you were not tired of being pregnant at the end of pregnancy, uh, how did that carry into postpartum for you? Because postpartum was different for you this time around from an emotional standpoint, for sure.

Host 1:32:30

Yes. So typically in my last several babies, once the baby's born, every like I'm always like, oh my gosh, I'm so glad I'm not pregnant. Like, wow, what a relief. Like, can't believe, oh, it's so great. And you guys are always like congratulating me. Like, isn't it so great? You're not pregnant, yay! Like, this is so awesome. But this time it was flipped on its head, and I was holding my belly and crying because I was like, I'm not pregnant anymore. Like, so sad about it. And I've never had that with all my other babies. I was thrilled to be done being pregnant. And this time I was like, oh no, I still wanted to be pregnant. I can't believe I'm not pregnant. I mean, I'm so glad he's here, but I can't believe I'm not pregnant. Like it was, it was a weird tension I was dealing with because I was thrilled that he was here and I was happy to meet him and to have my baby. But at the same time, I was like, there was definitely a sorrow and a sadness that the pregnancy was over for sure. And I've never had that before.

Guest 1:33:41

Yeah, I definitely noticed that this time around. And um, there's a part of me that honestly, you know, I love comforting you when you're when you're in that place, but also at the same time, I don't want you feeling sorrowful, you know.

Host 1:33:54

Yeah.

Guest 1:33:55

And so it was just, it was, it was a different experience for both of us uh in that regard.

Host 1:34:00

Yeah. So postpartum this time, um, he he has a lip tie. I'll just say that. I noticed that from his very first nursing session in the tub. I was like, holy pinch, this boy has a tie. And I was able to look at it better once we were out of the tub, but he has a pretty serious lip tie. Um, so those first few weeks of nursing were sore, really sore. Um, we're debating whether or not he's gonna be able to work it out or whether we we might get it revised. Now, thankfully, he has he has a tongue tie, but to me it's not, it's not serious enough to get revised. But his lip tie, on the other hand, he cannot flange out his upper lip at all. Um, and it makes for a very pinchy latch initially, especially if um I have any kind of engorgement going on at all. So, which I did a lot, a lot of engorgement the first week, which is always normal for me. So he's pooping right now. He's he's nursing and pooping right now, just so you know.

Guest 1:35:04

Get it out, buddy. Um good for him.

Host 1:35:11

Okay. So so that was different. Um so on one hand, early postpartum was like half magical because it's Christmas time and the decorations are up and the fire's going, and you're watching Christmas movies and you're having Christmas cookies that I prepped ahead of time. And that like, and you have this little baby and he's in a little Christmas outfit and he's so precious, and you get cute pictures by the tree, and like it's like a magical season on top of a magical season, you know, like double the magic. It was so sweet. On the other hand, um, this time, him being our sixth, and you not having a paternity leave, and my mom not being able to take off work to come help, um, because she had like work commitments that were like non-negotiable mandatory things she couldn't not be there for. And she's always taken off a week to come help. That was hard. So I think we had six days, the day he was born, so Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and a lot of that was because it was Thanksgiving week, um, Saturday, Sunday, where you were home. And then, of course, we randomly had like my mom and sister coming over too, because it was Thanksgiving. But then, like that Monday morning when he was less than a week old, it's like you were off back to work, and my mom was off back to work, and I was home. And I know other people out there get even less time sometimes, but I was not used to that, and it was a challenge.

Guest 1:36:59

Well, just to give a little context to the paternity leave thing, I had historically worked, I mean, I worked at a church previously to this, and I always got anywhere from two to four weeks, depending on where it fell, you know, in my employment. And it was great because I got to be home, like I still got paid, the paycheck still came through twice a month, you know. Um, but this time around, um, this this year I I started my own business, and it's a one still currently is a one-man operation. And so if I don't work at the business and and in the business, the work doesn't get done and I don't get paid for the the work that gets done. And so in order to, you know, keep things afloat at home, it wasn't really an option for me to take much more than two or three days off. Unfortunately, and that was that was hard for me too, because I want to be at home with my family. We just had a baby, you know, and I want to spend some time uh supporting everybody and giving everybody what they need because you're, you know, in the bed uh nursing the baby and making sure that he's okay. But also, you know, the kids they still need things while you're sitting there, you know, nursing the baby. And and it was hard to not be at home to help with those things because I know that that's what's you know, that's the case at home. But it just it was something that we had to push through, unfortunately, as a family, you know, in very different ways. It was difficult for you and for me. But it was that was tough. And still is, you know. I mean, what is it, six weeks postpartum? Yeah, yeah.

Host 1:38:35

Yeah, so it I feel like we're definitely still in the middle of postpartum. Like he's six weeks, and yeah, sure, that's when American society would like to tell you that you should be over everything and everything should be back to normal, but that I do not feel like is the case. I am not sleeping at night, I am still nursing all the time. Like, you know, it's we're definitely in our uh I feel still, you know, the good thick of it with postpartum. So yeah, that that's been trickier, just not having as much like adult support. Now, my daughter, shout out to her. She has been super helpful. Um, she's been great to have. She helps, and my son too, my oldest son. They've been both super helpful. Like they'll both help with the other kids, help getting lunch on the table, or help getting, you know, Indy down for his nap, or um, bringing me stuff, filling up my water, and um, you know, and even holding Bowie. Like my oldest daughter, Brinkley, I'll give Bowie to her, and she'll be able to like pat him to sleep and hold him and get him down for a nap while I'm, you know, helping Indy with something or the boys with some, you know, whatever it may be. So that has been helpful. It's just not the same as having your husband, you know. It's not the same as having dad around or dada, as you're known around here.

Guest 1:40:00

Oh, yeah, that's me.

Host 1:40:02

Dada. He's been dada for 12 years, and I've been mama for 12 years. And we're wondering if that will ever change, but our oldest still calls us mama and dada. Everyone calls us mama and dada. There's no mommy, daddy, mom, or dad. It's just mama, dada. So even though post-like, I would say the first two weeks of postpartum were the hardest, they're also so sweet. Like it's just like the, you know, what is it, double-edged sword, two-sided coin. Like the nights are hard and your boobs are engorged and you're bleeding and you're sore and you're sleep deprived, and you're emotional and you're hormonal and you're crying about everything. Like, it's hard, but it's also, as Abby would say, hard is not the same thing as bad. Yeah, yeah. Um, and so it's also so precious and so sweet. And yes, as the time has flown by, even amidst the difficulty, he is growing so fast. Like he, I just had to switch all of his clothes over. We're out of the zero to three month size. Now we're into three to six months, and sometimes just straight up six month clothes, which tracks for our babies. Um at six weeks, we're wearing six months. That's kind of how it goes. Um, but yes, he's growing like a weed. His hair is like strawberry. I s it's like sometimes it just looks straight up red, but it's like a it's definitely like a strawberry color, which if it's anything like indie, it's gonna all fall out and it will grow back blonde. That's kind of how our babies roll. But yep, his cradle cap just came in. He still has a sweet blue eyes. Whether or not he'll keep them, I don't know. Indy was our only baby to keep his actual blue eyes. Everyone else has changed a little. But yeah, we're trying to figure out the sleep thing. It happens sometimes and sometimes it doesn't. But no expectation there. So I am up back up to coffee twice a day now. So just to make through the day.

Guest 1:42:08

Par for the course, yeah.

Host 1:42:09

I was gonna share real quick where we got his name because we had four boys before this. This is our fifth boy, but we decided to name him after my husband, after Chris, um, Christopher. And we knew that we were gonna call him Bowie, that's his middle name. Um, but I really love my husband. I think he's the greatest man alive, and he is an incredible husband, incredible father. And I just wanted to honor him in that way by naming our son after him. And it feels kind of final because we didn't name any of our other sons after him. So I know a lot of people name like the first son after the father. Um maybe we just named the last son after the father. Although I don't know what God has in store, who knows what our future holds. But um, we did want to honor him. It was the Lord gave it, like confirmed it for us through dreams this pregnancy, which was really cool. Um, I got to the name Bowie through, honestly, just through a names website. I was on there looking up the meaning of a different name, and then I it it literally said, you know, the whole like, well, if you like this name, you'll probably like these names. And there was like a list of names, and Bowie was on there, and I was like, you're right, names website. I do like that name, Bowie. Um, but Christopher, you know, that is the one that came to me in a dream was to name them, was to name him Christopher Bowie. And um, I won't take the time to go into the dreams just because this podcast is already long enough. But if you want to hear more about it, just message me. I would I'll tell you all about the dreams and how we got his name.

Guest 1:43:58

So, my question for you that you get to ask all of the people that you interview week to week, um what did God teach you through this pregnancy and through this experience? And I know you touched on it a lot, but I'm I I realize that we didn't ask this question at you know, for the other five birth stories, and and I'm wishing that we did, but I want to touch on it and you know, just if even if you just review what you already shared, I'd love to hear what God taught you.

Host 1:44:29

Wow, it's funny to be sitting on the other side of the screen, babe. I think he taught me that I can trust him and that he is faithful and that he does know better, and the peace that comes with surrendering control is better than having the outcome that I desire if that if that makes sense. Um it took me five babies to learn that and five birth experiences to to really embrace that, but I think I learned it so hard last time that it's it's almost like there was no way I could not live that out this time for sure. Yeah, yeah, that's what I would say.

Guest 1:45:19

Yeah, and also thinking back on this past year too, God has been teaching us how to trust him in many other different areas of our lives. I mean, this is this is our first year doing full-time uh business ownership and owning businesses and that being our main source of income. We switched churches. I mean, searching for a church and trusting God that He will, He's gonna place you where He wants you, um, all while navigating a pregnancy and getting ready to welcome a new baby into your life. I mean, it's it was just a lot of learning how to trust God this past year and trying to figure out what the heck he's doing. Yeah.

Host 1:45:59

And not knowing why he's doing what he's doing sometimes.

Guest 1:46:03

But also being able to see snippets of that fruit, it's just so rewarding, even though some of the some of it has felt like we were flailing. Looking at Bowie, it's just so it's one of the rewards that we get for um he's so cute. It's one of the rewards that we get, you know, for for sticking it out and trusting God.

Host 1:46:28

Here he is.

Guest 1:46:28

He's so scary.

Host 1:46:35

I'll be able to hear pretty much his go-to um whenever whenever he's not nursing or asleep.

Guest 1:46:43

He's got a heater head, that's for sure.

Host 1:46:45

Yeah. Well, thanks, babe. This has been great. Bowie's here, and who knows what the Lord has in store. Who knows? Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. You can reach me at Surrendered Birth Services on Instagram or email me at contact at Surrendered Birth Services.com. Be sure not to miss an episode by hitting the follow button. Also, we'd love for you to leave a written review of the show so that more people's births and lives can be changed by the love of Jesus and the empowerment of accurate birth education. If you really enjoyed this episode in particular, please take a screenshot of it and post it to your Instagram story tagging Surrendered Birth Services. If you would like to be a guest on the Surrendered Birth Stories podcast, please click the link in the episode show notes to fill out your interest form. Also, if you're interested in taking my childbirth classes, birth consultations, or having me as your birth doula, please click on the link in the show notes to take you to my website for online and in-person options. Just as a reminder, this show is not giving medical advice. So please continue to see your personal care provider as needs arise. We hope you have a great week. And remember, learn all that you can, make the best plans, and then leave it in God's hands.

Guest 1:48:23

Did you know that I have a snack in here while we're recording?

Host 1:48:26

That's great.

Guest 1:48:27

Do you see it? What is it?

Host 1:48:30

Celery. You just sounded like Bugs Bunny.