EPISODE 20 - EMOTIONAL ALCHEMY: ANGER

THE FIRST EPISODE IN THE EMOTIONAL ALCHEMY SERIES

TODAY'S EPISODE IS ALL ABOUT UNDERSTANDING THE EMOTION OF ANGER

DAVID ANSWERS: 

IS ANGER USEFUL?

HOW TO GET RID OF ANGER

HOW TO CONCEPTUALIZE REVENGE

HOW SPIRITUALITY AND ANGER RELATE

HOW AND WHY SOCIETY AND WARS STILL GO ON

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 1:44

Before we get into today's show, I'd like to take a quick word for our sponsor. Sponsors are super important to me, and I take them very seriously. There are so many great and valuable products in the world which genuinely provide value, and I believe in. And there's also so many people who take advantage of people due to their unhealed spiritual damage and greed. And I use this time in the podcast to highlight the beautiful businesses that provide true value back to the people who invest their time and money into the business. I spend a lot of time and energy vetting the things I use and even more time and honesty coming to you all with a sponsor for the show. So, no, anytime I have a sponsor on the podcast, it is something I use, highly recommend, trust, and have vetted rigorously, almost like I'm an investor in the company itself. I will also stand behind the vision of the sponsor, the founder, and their company's values. I will not have any sponsors on my show which do not meet this criteria. Thank you for listening and recognizing that sponsors allow the podcast to grow and allow me to spend more time and resources in making a better show for you guys. So thank you to our sponsors and thank you to you guys for tuning in. Today's sponsor is Coherence. Coherence is a wonderful breathwork app you can download to your phone right now. Guys, you have to know I could not be more aligned with the mission and vision of Coherence as a company. The concept is simple. Breath heals you when done properly. Proper breath work is healing the spirit. How long have I been saying this? In fact, in order to get this sponsor, I basically harassed their founder with DMs asking them to sponsor me like they were my seventh-grade crush. Shout out Natalia. Because I love their app so much. I use it every day, four to five times a day. The truth is, nearly all of us don't know how to breathe deeply and properly because we were never taught from our education system, which is supposed to teach us the right things. Like maybe how to breathe properly. But we never worked the muscle of our breath. See, many of us are breathing shallowly, and when we get into the app, you'll see you could be so much more relaxed, breathing so much more deeply, and it really challenges you to go further with your breath. I love breath work because it's one of the ultimate revealers we have in our tool belt. What I mean by that is it allows you to see issues in both your breath, your focus, your posture, your health, your body, and your life in general with a lot more clarity just by breathing it out and coming back to center. The breath centers you into the moment. I do this before I meditate, before I sleep, before I eat. It enhances everything. You have to deeply breathe to allow your cells, your body, and everything to function optimally. Coherence is a phenomenal tool, a breathwork app you can download to your phone, which easily and visually walks you through ancient yogi breath work practices which promote different states of being, whether you want more energy, focus, calm, vagus nerve activation, and an overall tool you should consider if you want to optimize health, stress, and anti-aging. What I love about the app and why it's better than just doing it on your own is when I'm doing breath work, I often lose count of my inhales and exhales. And frankly, I don't want to have to think about the timing while I'm doing it. I want to be able to look at a screen or hear audible cues showing me the exact timing so I can shut off my brain and really just focus on my inhalation, exhalation, and breath holds. I want to know I'm doing it right and getting the most out of it. Also, I want to be able to know how long I've been doing it so I can stay on task if I only have two minutes or five minutes or if I have 20 minutes. Coherence solves all these issues by providing you with a beautiful visual and auditory cue on when to breathe, as well as giving you a timer and many different patterns you can use. So it allows you to just focus on breathing and turn off your mind, which allows you to go deeper into the practice and healing. It's incredible. Coherence has all kinds of patterns I've never heard of, which get me into crazy states of calm, peace, and energy, like the vortex pattern, a personal favorite. And my favorite hack of all is I open my two favorite apps at once. I open Coherence and get going on a longer 10-minute, 15-minute practice, which allows me to really totally reset my nervous system, and then I open up YouTube and tune into a video I'm dialed into. This allows me to enjoy my favorite content in the most relaxed and focused state while benefiting my biology and my mind. Imagine doing this while studying and watching a video of something you need to retain and learn and understand. Forget about Adderall, you have nature's Adderall, your focused and concentrated breath. It's the ultimate pleasure and productivity hack. Who says you can't have both? Okay, so you can get my free 30-day trial to coherence to see for yourself all the incredible benefits of breath work by using the code AppleBomb in the promo section when you sign up to get 30 days for free in their app. Normally they only give you 10 days for free, I think, or seven days. And no strings attached. Feel free to cancel anytime, but I promise you you'll want to continue using the app as much as you can. And it is only$10 a month afterwards. That's code AppleBomb, A-P-P-L-E-B-A-U-M, my last name, when you sign up for the free 30-day trial. Happy breath, happy next steps. And now into your episode. Hello, hello. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening wherever you are. Hope you're having a great day. Welcome to episode 20. Today we'll mark the beginning of a new series on the Applebaum incident surrounding understanding emotions called Emotional Alchemy. I'll likely do somewhere between four to seven episodes in the Emotional Alchemy series tackling different emotions. Today's topic being the emotion of anger. In the future, we will explore emotions like sadness, depression, which go hand in hand, anxiety and fear, which go hand in hand, as well as others, yet still to be determined. The point of this series and today's show is to understand and better work with our emotions. And remember, guys, a lot of the times I write these episodes just as much for you guys as I do myself, especially on this series. I feel like this is very personal and almost like my own journal entry into these different emotions and how they have played out in my life and how I currently understand them. I want to help myself and you as well understand how emotions can serve us, if at all, and how they are a disservice to our lives. As usual, with the Applebaum incident, we will investigate the individual and how this plays out collectively due to the individual's challenge. We will explore how to transmute and alchemize our emotions into positive action and internal states, and why we should do this if we want to live our highest truth and best lives. The thing about emotions is we all have them pretty much constantly throughout our day. And we can almost certainly say the quality of our emotions on a moment-by-moment basis basically predict the quality of our lives. This is a very important understanding because obviously we all want to live amazing lives, but if our emotions are so powerful and dictating the quality of our lives, shouldn't we then learn as much as we can and have as much introspection on them as we possibly can? Let's take a random weekend in your life. If you're happy for a total of 20 hours, then you're ex then you're excited, you're peaceful, and you're only agitated or experiencing anxiety for let's say one hour total for that entire weekend. Of course, with many other emotions and states sprinkled in, but these being the major primary ones. So given this, you're likely going to be happy with your life overall, at least at that time, right? You spent 20 hours on a weekend in a state of happiness, excitement, or peace. You know? So let's say next weekend things shift and you spend it the entire weekend in dread and worry over something causing you a lot of anxiety, and you only get one to two hours the entire weekend of moderate levels of joy and peace. Well, then all of a sudden your life and your feelings about your life have shifted pretty drastically. So it's very important we understand how to manage our emotions and how to control them and not let them control us because our time is precious, and we want to spend as much time as we can in great emotional states and not negative ones. Even when life seems to be giving us reasons to spend time in negative ones. We want to alchemize and transmute our emotions, and that's what this series is about. How to do that. One thing we need to understand is our emotions are our anchors to the moment. They are not forever how we are going to feel, but rather our moment-to-moment feelings, and depending on what actions we then take based upon our current emotions, we can then essentially compound the current emotion or negate it and pick a new one. I'm not going to talk about emotions in general as much as I'm going to talk about the specific emotions I select for each episode, because the fact is, emotions themselves are too broad and too general. The emotion happiness and the emotion dread are two completely different states, and what I say about happiness will be completely different than what I say about dread. Happiness we want to extend and expand. Dread we want to eliminate. So again, emotions are not black and white, but they are, regardless, very important to understand. So we will do our best here to be as comprehensive as possible. So, without further ado, let's dive into today's emotional topic, which is anger. Anger is a very common emotion which bubbles up in our lives a lot. Even those who spend time meditating and pursuing the spiritual route at all costs have experienced anger. In fact, that's probably why they started meditating. They had experienced some kind of negative emotion on a continual basis, which caused them to uh begin their meditation practice. I know for myself, my negative emotion at the time was anxiety, which caused me to, and and worry, which caused me to begin my meditation practice. And I'll tell that story at a later time. It's a very expansive story, very interesting story. I have a lot of stories in my life, a lot of them health-related, um, which have kind of caused me to take this path that I'm on right now, which is, you know, have the Apple Baum incident podcast talking about all this stuff. So, um, but that's for a later time. Today we're talking about anger. Anger is essentially the final boss and something you generally want to squash completely. Um and I when I say final boss, I mean frustration is the lesser form of anger. And um whoops, I skipped a whole paragraph there. Let me re- let me start from the uh top of the paragraph. I would say, at least in my own experience, anger can be a frustration which has been bubbling up for some time, and then is experienced as anger. However, anger can also be immediate, often experienced when driving, or better known as road rage, when someone cuts you off or nearly hits your car or something. You may immediately get extremely upset and angry with them. Or let's say you're out in public at a bar or something, and someone out of nowhere slaps the back of your head because they thought you were their friend, but you weren't. They were drunk, and you weren't, and you were very sober, and it was a very uh you know, unfortunate scenario. All of a sudden you got hit by a stranger, and this may spike your anger. This triggering type of anger is different than the type of anger which builds over time. The anger which builds over time is often more experienced as frustration for most of us. However, if you really let the frustration take a hold of you, it may turn into anger. In general, frustration is the lesser form of anger. Anger is the final boss, essentially, in something you want to squash completely. Allow me to explain. In short, anger is essentially always a test. And you either pass the test or you fail the test by giving into the anger with a negative action. In this episode, I will walk you through how to pass the test of anger. In my own life, currently, I do not experience anger. I have not experienced anger in probably over two years or so. I certainly experience frustration, especially while driving. I can be a bit impatient when I'm running a tad late to work, but I never allow this frustration to turn into anger. And I'll show you how I do that. But what if the anger is justified, you ask? What if someone just slaps you in the face or on the back of the head, like the example before? So, this is the most important point of this entire episode. See, one of the main ways we transcend and alchemize anger is through understanding it completely. Much of life works this way. From zero to a hundred, nose to tail, every single aspect of it. And so many of us take the lazy approach and mindset to so many of our problems in life, and then they keep popping back up. And this is the concept of understanding the root cause of things. Once you understand the root cause of things and then the root solution to things, the very deepest level of the analyzation, then you can transcend it. But if you don't understand it completely from zero to a hundred, you will often find yourself and your ego taking over and being like, well, no, I'm justified to feel angry. I I'm justified to do this X, Y, and Z. I'm I should do X, Y, and Z, right? And all of our decisions on a societal level, on an individual level, and uh are best made when we are intelligent, when we are understanding things as deeply as we can understand them. And often, in general, this is a general statement, which I'll say a couple times in this episode, but often when emotions are high, intelligence is low. This is a general statement. So we need to quell our emotions and we need to look at things completely from nose to tail to understand them. And then when you truly and fully analyze emotions like anger, every single incident, every single aspect of it, you will realize it only has one small use case, which I will get into. But other than that, anger itself is never pleasant, it's never useful. Feeling anger, angry at someone is never a good feeling, even if they've hurt you. What feels so much better to the spirit is love, forgiveness, and peace. Very, very important. But how can you be peaceful when homie just slapped your face in the club in front of your girl? That was a good line, David. I'll give you problems for that one. Ah, well, so good question. I'll tell you how. Through a good hard look in the mirror, my friend, through what I was just describing, the zero to a hundred nose-to-tail understanding of your emotions, specifically anger in this episode, and your spirit. What will happen if you react in anger? Nothing positive. You got slapped. Maybe even worst case scenario, you got a couple teeth knocked out. Worst case scenario. Or he broke your nose. Or she, whoever slapped you. These are horrible scenarios, undoubtedly. But again, horrible scenarios are going to happen in our lives which we cannot control. What can we control? Our reaction to them. So, let's examine our potential reactions with anger. Well, the first and most likely thought that would come to mind with others, uh, many others would probably think this, would be to hit them back. Yes, and potentially make the bad scenario much worse than it would have been otherwise had you just calmed the situation down instead of escalating it. You could actually get your teeth knocked out if they weren't before. You could actually get your nose broken if it wasn't before. You could end up in jail. You could severely harm another person, you could allow your anger in the moment to, I don't know, severely harm them and end up in jail for a very long time. Um, you are playing with your life by allowing the fire of the reaction to manifest in this way. This is just the physical ramifications. The mental ramifications and the spiritual ramifications would be your own God-given spirit and morality and deepest knowing of yourself, knowing you could have done better. Reacting fire with fire is never the best course of action because even your deepest knowing and truth knows this was a mistake. This is the spirit. This is the mechanism of the spirit, it is an internal morality. And when we break the code of our internal morality, we live with regret. We start to die inside when we do not live up to our own morality and competency. We destroy our purpose of actualizing ourselves when we do not live up to the higher spirit's voice in our head. Even though it is quiet now, it will eventually become the loudest voice you could ever imagine as you age. It is a voice that will either fill you up with good job, keep going, or you could have done a lot more. Why didn't you do more? It is this actualization of yourself which we will allow, which will allow, excuse me, you to transcend anger because you see anger for what it is, a continuation of the fire instead of the water, when the water is necessary, even when we are met with the wrath of hell. It is our higher spirit which keeps us in heaven. But take one tippy toe into the wrath of hell and let yourself slip into an abyss of ignorance and pain, which you will not easily climb out of. It is black and white. Anger is. It is something you must squash completely. This brings back a memory of mine. When I was younger, one of the most important lessons my dad ever taught me was to be a good sport. I remember I am one of the most competitive people I know. Uh and my dad would never let up on me when we were playing any kind of sport, like tennis. We'd play a lot of tennis together, and he would always just beat me, basically. I could never beat him. Like, because as soon as I got to the age where like I was like able to serve and run around and like actually play the sport, you know, 10, 11, 12, whatever it was, 13, 14, especially as I got older, I I started to really get upset. And I remember he I I threw a fit after I lost once to him. I was just so upset, and I was blaming him, and I was like, how could you do this? How could you beat me in this game? You should let me win, and but and then I like heard myself and I was like, What? He should let me win. Like, what? What am I even saying? And then I just, you know, kind of just threw a fit. And uh I remember my dad said, If if you behave this way, if you are a sore loser, no one will ever want to play with you, no one will ever respect you, and um you need to stop doing this now. Like this, you need to kill this habit now. And it's very similar to anger. Um something of a musquash because being a sore loser and having anger, they're kind of synonymous. Like you are a sore loser because you have anger You have anger, which causes you to be a sore loser, rather. And it it really is off-putting to people. It's it's it's this negative energy. And this is a key understanding in this episode we we should take, um, is the energy. At play here. Anger itself is an energy, it's a frequency. Love itself is an energy and a frequency. And I want you to keep that in mind. And I want that lesson that no one will ever want to play with you is a very important lesson that I take to this day. Like, even though I do get angry when I lose all the time, I never make excuses, especially as I've really gotten older, and I always remember that it's just a game and that you know there's more important things in life. And if I want, if I really care about winning that particular game, what would I do? I'd go to the gym and get better at whatever game I'm playing. So if you really care about something, you allow it to uh you allow you allow the anger to transmute into positive action. So this is another really important point in this episode. So back to the scenario at hand here. Let's look at another way you could have handled the scenario with anger. You could basically instead of reacting on the spot, you could ruminate on the scenario. How could this person do this to me? What is wrong with them? How could they? And allow this anger to bubble up and bubble until you need an exam from a mental hospital. Believe me, I've been there. Literally. Go listen to episode six if you want that story. This again is not a scenario which serves you. Instead, it burdens you and clouds your judgment and actions. And if you stay in this, you could end up taking an action like in Reaction 1, where you are seeking revenge and essentially, again, dipping your feet into the wrath of hell and submerging your body and spirit with you. This is because revenge is a closed loop. We have been killing each other because someone killed us first since the dawn of time. It is our never-ending problem because we are not able to see from the higher vantage point in the long, hard look in the mirror that is not actually the history of killing, which we need to feed. Rather, it is the love within our hearts which we need to feed. To solve this unsolvable problem, we need to actually just flip the equation on its head and completely change our perspective and rewrite the rules. We have to update the book. Why do we have to rewrite the book, David? Well, because nobody is happy acting this way. Society is not happy, constantly at war. And people who have understood the deeper truth of their spirit, although not able to articulate into words exactly what I'm saying here now, know the reason we are unhappy. Because we are not listening to the higher spirit within us. We are not ascending our own inner morality. It is very simple. But then why hasn't God taught us to do this? Why did so many people have to die? Great question. I'm not sure. Perhaps they were younger spirits, and perhaps those spirits who died before you're seeing them today in the form of reincarnation, who had to learn different lessons. I'm not exactly sure. That's just a thought. And I'm not exactly sure why so many people had to die, but I am exactly sure that without so much death due to revenge, there would have never been a lesson which we have before us today. And perhaps one of the most important lessons the human spirit can learn, that love is the way out of the circle. That love feels way better than revenge. Have you ever seen a graphic showing the internal states, different states of being in anger, fear, love, happiness, the energy behind these states? Love itself is actually harmonizing on a much higher frequency than anger is. This has been studied through brain studies and understood for a very long time, even by ancient cultures. It is rather those who continue to act in anger then end up miserable and wonder why, who are in a true and deep need of understanding the self-betrayal I speak of now. See, this is why meditation is actually so important because an exercise and grounding ourselves in presence because it increases our awareness. And when we are aware, we are able to realize the deeper truths of our spirit, right? When we are aware, we are immediately able to understand that, whoa, being angry, this doesn't feel good. Right? Some people, though, they get angry and and they're so unaware, they're so out of their body, out of touch with their body and their spirit, that they they the anger itself is almost like a normalcy, right? It's it's just what they're used to. But what we need to really do is we need to ground ourselves in our awareness. And there's many ways that I will uh illuminate at the end of this episode to do that, but this is a key to transcending our negative emotions, is first and foremost just the awareness of them and how that feels. Where is that feeling coming up in our body? How is our breathing when we are angry, when we are anxious? And um, what we will realize through this awareness is that none of this feels good, right? None so again, you only live for a period of time. You want to spend your time feeling good or feeling bad, right? Revenge does not feel good, even if you can mentally, you know, justify things and and mentally put yourself through gymnastics of oh, this is this is definitely the right course of action. This is gonna feel incredible, and uh, you know, of course there's justice here, and they these people deserve it, right? All this stuff, right? This is actually a complete lack of awareness. They've studied the graphic showing the internal states of different states of being, different energetic states. Anger, fear, love, happiness, these are different levels. Love is one of the highest levels of feelings you can have within your body and your mind and your spirit, one of the best emotions you can feel, one of the best ways in which you can operate and spend your time. Right? It's very important to understand. So, what would have been the correct reaction to a scenario described above? Well, depends on the extent of the slap, right? If this is a light tap on the cheek, perhaps the reaction is nothing at all, knowing the energy and time and energy leak, rather, it would take to prosecute charges for an assault and having to convince authorities you got slapped, even though it wasn't really that hard. You probably best just, you know, sunk cost, just moving on and um de-escalating the situation, despite you doing nothing wrong. This is like what happens when I'm driving my car and I'm going 65 in the left lane, and you know, someone behind me um you know passes me, swerving, um, and then they flick me off. I'm just completely unreactive to that. It just doesn't even register to me, right? There's there's no point in um you know even thinking about it, right? They're angry, that's their thing, that's their problem. I'm all I'm doing is living my life. Perhaps though, if you did indeed get your teeth knocked out or you know, your car hit right out, right? Then yes, there would be a scenario where you of course can be frustrated in the moment, as you will likely be. But it's important to remember rebelling does you nothing positive always. What you can do is ask them, you know, what happened? Why did why did you do that? Um, maybe not so much in the car scenario, because of course most people don't mean to hit you in your car, but you know, in this club scenario, which by the way is an extremely unique scenario, but and and uh probably won't happen to you, but if we can think about this like a war, right? Like they struck first, they killed our innocent civilians first. It's kind of like the same thing as like a slap, obviously on a much, much smaller scale, but it's just like an unprovoked slap. So I'm kind of like also thinking about this metaphorically from a war standpoint as well. So perhaps if you did indeed get your teeth knocked out, then yes, that would be a scenario where, of course, you can be frustrated in the moment, as you likely will be, but it's important to remember rebelling does you nothing positive. What you can do is ask them why they did it, get real and vulnerable with them, humanize the experience. Ask them calmly if they would be willing to help pay for the medical expenses of fixing your teeth or whatever you may end up doing. If they deny this, perhaps uh perhaps create a case with the authorities, document what happened, and try to pursue your justice through the court of law, your justice being financial compensation for the misfortune. Your justice is not revenge, your justice is simply monetary in this scenario. Let's take it from a war standpoint, right? If um it's a it's a lot harder of a question, right? Much, much harder of a question. Like if if all of a sudden um you know, well, it really also just depends, right? If if a uh country bombs America, and we know they bombed America and they killed, you know, hundreds of thousands of people, I mean that would be like one of the that that would potentially be the end of the world, right? That would that would be the worst case scenario any of us could ever imagine, right? Um and I don't know the answer to what what uh what what we could do in a scenario like that, other than grieve, you know? Um I don't think anger obviously does anything good, right? If you escalate something from there, and all of a sudden you decide to bomb another country, the country who bombed you, and kill a bunch of their people, maybe even wipe out the whole country, is that really gonna you know give you what you need? What what you really need to do is you need to appeal to the perpetrator. You need to who who is who's who decided to do this to our country? Who decided to hurt our civilians? How how did they make that decision? Talk to them, talk to their leader, talk to their people, and communicate with them. That's this is the solution to all of our war problems is actually communication. And it is through excessive communication, figuring out, understanding. Hey, where are you coming from? Here's where I'm coming from. How can we get along? Okay, let's just sit here for longer and keep talking about it. And let's just keep talking about it. And let's just keep talking about, hey, can uh someone get us some DoorDash or something? And let's just keep talking about it. Two weeks later, all right. Man, we got a lot of DoorDash here. We still gotta just work this out. Where are you coming from? Okay, two years later, okay, I finally see where you're coming from. I haven't left this building in two years, but man, I just need to get outside. I are we good, man? Are we good? Okay, we're good, right? So, communication is actually how we solve all of our war problems and we communicate and through a lens of understanding and love. And this is the only solution to world peace, literally the only solution, along with meditation, breath work, and forgiveness. These things allow us to transcend our animalistic primal instincts of anger, of reaction, of revenge, and calm ourselves into a state of spirit, which can see love, purpose, understanding very clearly, can see how to not betray itself, right? So this is a very important uh point in our society to take this understanding of communication through the spirit, through love, through forgiveness, through purpose, rather than allowing um, you know, just further revenge, further anger to bubble and be the cat the the uh the action that we take. So see, to fully understand anger, we need to understand if people hurt us, it is almost always their own personal issue and nothing to take personally. Hurt people, hurt people is one of the truest expressions I can ever think of, right? Nobody in a good state of mind will hurt you. If someone hurts you, especially really badly, they are immensely suffering themselves. They are essentially spiritually damaged to the point of delusion. They cannot see the world clearly and they do not know up from down. Nobody who sees the world with clarity will ever try to hurt you. So when you seek revenge over someone who is delusional, in a sense, you are basically again betraying your own inner morality. It will never feel good. It is the undoubtable avoidance of the higher spirit. You are betraying your own deep inner knowing. Self-betrayal, quite obviously, we should we should know and understand, should not feel good. So, again, back to the point of love, reacting to these scenarios where someone wrongs you with love. We have mirror neurons in our brain. And I'm not saying like, oh, everything comes down to the mirror neurons, like everything, you know, if we uh if we expr express love, you know, everyone people have no choice to express love. But when we meet fire with fire, we are never putting that fire to a lesser extent, we are never bringing that fire down. So, and that external fire also creates an internal fire within you. That's the entire point of this episode. So when we realize we actually need water in all these scenarios, we actually need to um use love instead of anger at all times when dealing with injustice towards ourselves. Then we what because we can clearly recognize that the love is the water. Love is is the thing that puts out the fire. And when the fire is out, all of a sudden, yeah, maybe you already got slapped, and that sucks, and that's terrible, but you're preventing the next generation or the next person at the club from getting slapped, right? You you're you're you're you're essentially a catalyst to the spiritual collective when you use water, or when you use fire, you're always a catalyst to the spiritual collective. It's what are you feeding the spiritual collective? Are you feeding more fire in society or are you feeding more water? And when eventually, when enough people feed more water, people who are acting out of fire realize that the fire within them that they are using actually doesn't even feel good. And all these people with water are walking around happier than me, and uh, good lord, what am I doing still using fire? You know? So that's how we actually create peace in the world is through that exact mechanism I've just described. Exactly, precisely. We use water, we use love. So the correct because otherwise it's just self-betrayal. And that doesn't feel good. So the correct reaction is actually never revenge, it's actually seeking damages in a proper way. If if uh and if that's not an option, which it it may not be an option, seeking understanding in a proper way. And if you can't do either, walking away knowing you can only control what you can control, but never walk away. Uh when you are seeking understanding, only allow the other person to walk away, right? You are always, when we're always in a state of trying to understand the other side, we're actually in a state of trying to understand ourselves. And when we understand ourselves at the deepest level, that's when we actually become as enlightened as we can possibly be. And nothing in life can beat that. So I'm always trying to understand people around me. I I I'm always thinking about why are they doing that? Why are they doing that? Why what's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? I mean, when I'm out in public, I am like, you know, I know some people are darty with their eyes, they look down. I am like looking at you, bro. I'm like, who are you? What are you doing? Why are you walking that way? Why are you smiling that way? Why is your face that way? What are you doing? You're not in a judgmental way, but in an in a way to understand human behavior and human psychology. And this allows me to understand my own humanity. And when I understand my own humanity, I can become more in touch with my spirit and my purpose. So control what you can control at the end of the day, of course. Quickly and efficiently moving on with your life, never taking anything personally, and realizing to control all of the nature around you at all times would be God's job, not yours. This is not to say you cannot attempt to make your point in the best way possible, of course. This is what is in your control. You can and should do your best to convey your ultimate message of understanding and peace so as to make closure over the situation, but realize God is the ultimate closure. Karma is the ultimate closure. You will be best served leaving it up to God in the end. In fact, this is how many of us come to know God through this complete relinquishing of what we cannot control and what we cannot fathom. This injustice that is done to us is the comfort of God, which allows us to ride this storm to clear waters in our lives. If we constantly think we have to play God and play out karma, then we will seek revenge. But when we realize we are not here to play out karma and play out God, we are rather here to simply understand God and understand our neighbors and understand ourselves as much as we can, everything gets a lot easier and a lot more clear. Even the bad parts of life, they become the greatest lessons and insights into this understanding and to our purpose here. Of course, anger can be useful just as fear can be, and I'll explain that now. We don't always have to quell down our anger at all times, especially when it is trying to tell us something. For example, you are angry at your current position in your job and want a promotion, or you're angry at yourself for eating something which always upsets your stomach. And you were supposed to be sticking to that diet, right? That's what I'm doing right now. I'm I'm uh not having any caffeine, which is crazy, but different. But, anyways, I'm just trying to see where my body's at without caffeine. Anyways, completely off topic. Anger isn't our enemy so long as it illuminates the path forward. This is a very important point in the nuance. See, anger is never the action. Anger is never meant to be transmuted. Actually, rather, anger is meant to be squashed completely once it has revealed the road forward. So, for example, in the job situation, you may feel angry that you are being overlooked. You feel your boss is being unfair and not promoting you in the position you have wanted for quite some time. Your anger here is meant to illuminate like a flashlight. There are other caves you can enter, there are other paths you can take, and the right cave to enter is available. Once you understand what the lesson is here, what this anger is trying to teach you. It is not meant to be a catalyst to pick up a rock and smash your head against it, like so many of us do with anger. We allow it to be our own worst enemy. Your anger is meant to be a signal for change, and that's it. Boom! The second you realize the anger is telling you to something must change, you squash it completely and then analyze your different choices of action without any shred of evidence of anger. This is the emotional alchemy of anger. It is the signal, it is the illuminator, but never the vehicle. See, in this scenario, you have different, many different actions you can take from that place of anger, but the actions only become healthy and effective once the anger is completely eliminated. Then your flashlight goes much further down the cave, and you can actually, more accurately, see what course of action is best to take. In this current scenario, when we eliminate our anger, we can clearly see that our choices are to either improve our performance on the job, thereby making a promotion inevitable, or to simply find a new job as quickly as possible so as to avoid having a boss who's who does not value you. You could likely do both simultaneously, keep the job, increase your performance while looking for a new one. This would, of course, depend on how much you actually liked the job and company itself, irrespective of your boss who doesn't seem to be budge in promoting you to the position of your desire. See, but what happens when we don't eliminate anger from our question? Here, when we allow the anger to bubble and fester, all of a sudden we muddy our vision. The cave becomes dark, and our intelligence around the scenario all of a sudden is lost. One thing we will learn in the emotional alchemy series is that, again, in general, there are exceptions to this. When emotions are high, intelligence is low. And this is because emotions, even good emotions, can cloud our clarity and unground us. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing in the case of an emotion of excitement or happiness or drive or motivation. And when we need that particular positive emotion for a certain task, this is the nuance. But it can be a bad thing when it is the case of anger or anxiety or hopelessness, and then we take action based on these states of being without fully understanding where our action is coming from and squashing it if it is a state of anxiety, anger, or hopelessness, or at least just understanding in the case of anxiety why we have anxiety. Is it rational? Is it logical? Can we test it? Etc. That's for a later episode. Of course, the anger, once dealt with and thought through, could allow us to make a good decision. Of course, anxiety, once dealt with and thought through, could allow us to make a good decision here as well. But we have to eliminate the negative emotion for us to think clearly about the scenario. Otherwise, we are burdened by the damage it has on our spirit. Right? So if we are angry at our boss, perhaps we may show up to work in a bad mood with undertones of being upset. This pretty obviously will actually prevent us from getting the very thing we desired, which is the promotion. Perhaps our boss was close to giving it to us, but we just had to wait a few weeks until our boss, or until their boss rather approved it. But all of a sudden, we showed up in a sour attitude and allowed it to affect our work, perhaps which made our boss look at us as someone who was immature and incapable of handling moral responsibility. Or perhaps we confront our boss with anger, thinking this will help solve the problem. However, our boss already knows we want the promotion. All the anger will do, again, is show our level of maturity. See, there's a very good reason for fully eliminating anger when we are interacting with the world. This is because it is our actions and words of anger which never look good. As I was remember the good sports story I told, we always tend to think anger is our friend, but we are miss what we are missing is a more creative way to channel that energy into our communication, which would always lead to better results and look better. And I don't mean look better in a superficial way, I mean be more effective. Have better results because people around you are taking that energy in a more positive way. Nobody is ever really too impressed with someone who is angry. Even if every single point they make is correct, the anger itself shows a lack of stability and a lack of groundedness, which operates at a much lower frequency than many of us want to experience. It's like when you see someone else who is angry, even though they may bring up some good points, you're always kind of brought down by their energy, like, dude, where's this going? Regardless of how good of a point they are making. This is because anger itself is the ego and is the negativity within us. Anger is a fine catalyst for an awakening, yes, but is not meant to be carried into the next chapter of action. Anger can be understood as the signal to change. Something needs to change here. You may not even be sure what that is, but your anger can act as a signal. So, how do we eliminate anger and what should we do before we eliminate anger? Well, in order to eliminate anger, we have to realize the above of what I've already been over. The poor internal state anger puts us in, the self-betrayal it costs us. We have to deeply internalize these as true. And many of us don't want to do this because many of us are still angry at people, at situations. And we have to. We have to realize what makes us happy in this world is not anger. It's not revenge. It is love and truth to our spirits, to the deepest part of ourselves. This allows us to actually stop feeding the addiction of anger in its tracks. Out of the field, the everyday life when it pops up unexpectedly, like slapping, like the slapping scenario or road rage, for example. We can understand anger in these scenarios as a reminder and lesson on controlling and mastering our internal state. Control what we can control. You know, and we a lot of times we are angry at ourselves or our situations. And again, this is the same thing. What is this trying to teach me? How can I control what I can control? Where is the signal for change? Which cave should I shine my flashlight on? Right? Really, both the short-term and long-term anger scenarios rely on us mastering our state, which I won't get into. But first, here's how we eliminate anger through a more mental framework. Once we deeply internalize everything I've said, then we can take the following mental steps so we can note this down mentally or physically in a journal on what our specific anger is trying to teach us. Even working with a friend, family member, or therapist on the phone about your issue can be very helpful. For example, you ask yourself, what is this anger trying to teach me? For example, I need to change my job, my habits, my thoughts, even investigate further and really dive into exactly what the anger is trying to tell me. Journal about this as much as you can. Get it all on paper for 10, 20 minutes. I mean, this is gonna be really helpful in clearing out the clutter of your mind of this anger. This is a very necessary step. Perhaps, and usually the lesson of anger that you will realize is that there are things you want to change in the outer world, but in order to do that, you must first change your inner world to align with the energy of that change. For example, I want to start a business solving the problem of plastics in the ocean. I don't want to do that, by the way. I mean I would, but it's just there's a lot more businesses I want to start before that, and there's already a lot of people doing this. I'm not I'm not I'm not throwing it out of the options here. I just I got a lot of other things I want to figure out first. But, anyways, because it upsets me greatly and makes me angry that we have so much plastic in the ocean harming and killing many of the animals and ecosystems there, right? So we have the anger, and then we have this action we want to take. And we have to realize that the anger has brought us actually to a place of passion, to a place of purpose. So, in a sense, we have to then you know appreciate the anger for illuminating our passion. Treat the anger here in your journal, in the next section of your journal, as your friend. Thank your anger for showing you the path of passion and purpose. I want you want to pursue to make the world a better place. Become friends with it. But then to say goodbye to it. Tell it by writing in this journal. Although I appreciate your insight, anger, you no longer will serve my mission on actualizing myself and my dream reality of pure joy through my spirit. You actually will completely prevent me from actualizing myself and my dream reality of pure joy through my spirit if I do not let you go. I'm sorry to let you go, but I I know, even you know, it is for the best. If I keep holding on to you, anger, I will not be able to see clearly. I will be heavier, I will be burdened by the past, and my present is with the present. My future is relying on the present with my presence. So, something along those lines, don't have to be those exact words, but that's what I have used in the past when I have done this exercise of journaling about my anger. Um, and I've only actually done this once in my life because I don't have a lot of anger, because I spend a lot of time meditating, exercising, and I'm gonna get into that now. So, that's the mental detachment from the anger. And some of us, I'm not, if you have had a lot of anger in your life, that's not a, you know, a uh horrible thing, you know, that's not like something that I think I, you know, you should be looking down on yourself for. We all have different kinds of, like for me, I have a lot of anxiety. We all have different kinds of weaknesses, so to speak, or things, lessons that we have to learn. Um, and I think the lesson for someone who has a lot of anger would be to learn how to love. And because one of my strengths is love, like I love people so much. I've always I've always loved people, and I love life, and because of that, I don't have a lot of anger. Um and so someone who has a lot of anger, but I have a lot of anxiety, right? And you may have a lot of anger, but you might not have a lot of anxiety, and you might, you know, so we all have different things we need to work on, and so like one of the main lessons of anxiety, for example, is faith, like trusting things and patience and allowing things to play out, right? And one of the lessons for anger, again, is love. So, we have to mentally lay out this logic for why we are mentally detaching from anger, because it is preventing us from seeing clearly and having the life we want. Next level, we are going to be physically and spiritually detached. One very valuable way to let go of anger from the body is through exercise. I'm talking daily movement, whether it's lymphatic movements like jumping jacks, hops, arm waves, chest openers, or just cardio circuit exercises like swimming or running or weightlifting. These are all excellent ways to bring yourself back to the present moment and let out any excess energy. Exercise and movement is medicine towards our minds, and especially when we are in a head, when we are heads in our heads, excuse me, about a past event, exercise can really center us, bring us back to the moment. I do not recommend exercises like boxing or punching, like many people do. This is because the action itself is often done angrily and will only serve as a reminder of the anger, which you should have to let go. Right? If you have an anger problem, you really have a love problem. And love for others also starts with self-love, which is going to be what uh I write the next episode about is all about self-love. Um it's not gonna be the next episode. I uh the next episode's an interview, but the one after that. Anyways, but David, what if I completely let go of my anger? Then where will I get my motivation? And what if I lose motivation for my passion and my purpose? Remember, your passion and your purpose are meant to be illuminated by anger, sure, but they're also meant to be illuminated by doing what you love and being love. Your purpose itself is your unique value of love in providing this to the world. So, in a sense, you cannot be purposeful when you are in a state of anger because you are not providing unique value of love. Love and anger are not anywhere near each other as far as states, definitions, and words. If you need anger to be motivated, you are doing the wrong thing. You can have a ton of motivation in life that is driven by your own simple desire to live a great life, to love yourself, to love life, to love people, to become competent. That can drive a ton of motivation for yourself, right? Like every basketball player or every player, like I'm just thinking about Kobe Bryant right now. Like he he had a ton of motivation more than anyone else, but it was it was to be better. It wasn't out of anger, it was to be better and and improve himself and and fill in his potential, right? It's a this potential gap. And when you work on filling in your potential of competency, that's not a form of anger. That's rather just a form of motivation that is healthy. It's not an unhealthy motivation filled with anger. So there's another also strong reason that we want to cut off anger at its head sooner rather than later, because anger itself is addicting. Have you ever heard of the term rage a holic? This is the term used to describe someone who deals with many scenarios in their life with rage, just because this has become their default mode of operating. It is honestly quite sad for both the people they affect and themselves because this is not a pleasant state to be in. So again, to cut off anger, we want to come to the recognition that it is indeed something we want to get rid of. It is our friend more as our as a guide and a counselor, and then it is gone like the phoenix like a phoenix in the wind. It is not meant to be our companion throughout life because of the states that it puts us in, and it blocks uh and the blocks that could lead to our stopping our actualization, purpose, and abundance. So, how do we then spiritually disentangle from anger and set our sail on life without it? Well, much of what I have spoken about already on this podcast, breath work is amazing. Proper engaged breath throughout our day is huge. When we are breathing shallowly, we activate our sympathetic nervous system, our fight or flight, and we are not in a relaxed state of being. Things trigger us more easily and we become agitated more easily. So, one key then to avoiding road rage is to avoiding on-the-spot anger and built-up anger over time, would be to engage our breath as deeply as we can. The best way to breathe throughout the day to engage the parasympathetic nervous system, the vagus nerve, and that state of calm is through the nose. Remember, the nose is for breathing, the mouth is for eating. In order to breathe properly through the nose, we should breathe on a count of four for the inhale, making sure that our breath goes deeply back into our sinuses, not up, back into our nasal cavities, almost sideways instead of breathing up. This creates a deeper breath and allows more nitric oxide activation to occur, which helps with more calm. Then for our exhale, we want to make sure we exhale through the nose on account of six. The exhale should be emphasized because this is how we really activate a more calm state. This pattern of breathing tells our nervous system we are okay, and that it's okay to relax, which allows us to enter a more healed state of mind, body, and spirit. Next, we want to focus on meditation at least 15 minutes a day. When we meditate, again, we want to focus on our breath. The rising and falling of our diaphragm. The longer you can meditate, actually, the better for this healing. And true meditation is not controlling the breath, but rather noticing it, labeling the rising of the diaphragm as rising and labeling the falling of the diaphragm as falling. As much as we can, centering our awareness around this rising and falling to program our minds into the present moment. This again acts as a key ingredient to our healing, perhaps the most key after the foundational breath. When we choose to engage in meditation, when we are angry, what actually happens if we meditate properly is we literally disassociate with the emotions of anger, or any emotions, frankly, for that matter. When anger comes up as a present moment awareness in our meditation, what we do is simply label the anger. We say anger, anger, anger, anger. For however long we need to say it, until we remember, we have to focus on the rising and falling of our breath. We are training ourselves to be grounded in the present moment. But this is super powerful because we are literally transmuting that anger before our eyes into a grounded, peaceful presence. This is like true healing. This is like melting away your spiritual damage. This serves as our most powerful alchemy of any negative emotion, truly, when done properly. This is why people talk about meditation in such a high regard. This is exactly why. This is because the labels of negative emotions, such as anger and the thought of the anger, begin to lose their meaning. They begin to lose their gravity, they begin to lose their depth as we begin to remind ourselves, quite practically, right before our very own presence, how much better it is to be peaceful than it is to be angry or fearful or sad or depressed or anxious. This section of the podcast will be in each of these emotional alchemy series because meditation is literally the medicine for the mind's spiritual damage and negative emotions. It is powerful stuff. Finally, a nearly equally powerful methodology to meditation would be a forgiveness technique, which I have highlighted extensively as well as in episode two, the most important podcast I'll ever record. Please go listen to that episode if you want to learn fully how to properly forgive. You can also go to my Instagram page, Rare Apples, on Instagram, R-A-R-E apples, for a demo video on how to do a forgiveness exercise. It should be the fourth post on my page, which shouldn't be hard to find because I don't have a lot of posts on there. It is the longer 10-minute video explaining the power of forgiveness, how to do a visualization of forgiveness, and how this can change your state into one of empowerment and high vibration, and really feeling amazing, rather than a state of despair, anger, and revenge seeking. For those who feel they've been really wronged and need to practice forgiveness, I highly, highly recommend you do this. For the sake of not being too repetitive and for how important this section is, I do not want to do it injustice. Please just see the material already made regarding this topic. Just know that forgiveness is a massive pillar to releasing anger and transmuting anger into positivity. Know that forgiveness is for you. You are not weak for participating in forgiveness. You are not, you know, submitting to injustice for participating in forgiveness. It does not excuse their behavior, rather, it modifies yours to behaviors of productivity and feelings of joy instead of despair over what happened. This is supremely important for transmuting anger, especially if you have undergone a serious betrayal or a seriously unfortunate event with someone. In conclusion, I hope today's episode was helpful in you understanding a bit more about anger and bringing your awareness to the power of proper understanding. Anger is not something you should move forward with, rather, it is your friend for a moment of reflection to help illuminate a lesson or the beginning of a new path. And then it is meant to be discarded to see if that path was the proper path to begin with. When we operate this way individually and therefore collectively, all of a sudden wars stop, all of a sudden violence stops, all of a sudden human on human pain stops. However, the wheel and loop of revenge can only stop once we understand the truth laid out here. When we understand the self-betrayal we are undergoing when we engage in revenge and in anger, we can easily stop it from manifesting the worst of ourselves out into the world and on a grand scale. We must remember our actions are not just isolated to ourselves. They are rather connected to everyone, especially those in our most inner circle, but eventually to everyone. Actions taken out of anger are never going to benefit you or the collective. However, illuminations from anger may benefit your path and sight towards purposeful and productive actions of love. Remember, which is which and what is what. And remember, most importantly, your true desire. No matter how much you were hurt, remember to not take it personally. Your and our lives depend on this crucial understanding towards a more peaceful world. Thank you for listening. I love you so much. Have an amazing day. Bye bye.