EPISODE 28 - THE SAVE(Y(O(U)R))

I think this one is scattered but piercing, like a rainfall of needles...

Needless to say, I enjoyed making this 4U(&ME)

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 1:49

I'm not canceled. I'm premiering. The only thing disappearing is that negative and serious. By the time I'm done with the mirror, you can see so clear. No one else can steer. Contractor of the spiritual. My mind's master is ethereal. Light inside like a fairy tale. I built that up like a castle hill. It's just I tried and tried. You gotta see for yourself. You gotta look in. Never mind. I'm fairly certain when I draw the curtain. I'ma turn serials to serial boxing workers. Prisoners to lab experimentors. I'm more productive than a million valid Victorians. Just focus on what really needs owning. I just focus on what really needs to get going. I'm serious, not delirious, or rhetorical. I'm lyrically, categorically sorin. Like Dumbledore into a Phoenix in episode four. Whatever she wrote. I got the pen now, so you know what's a go. I got the pod now, so watch out, Joe. That's a metaphor. See him always think it deeper. Get your head out the gutter, the sunrise is peekin'. Same with this love and this peace. I guess it's time for us to reach him.

SPEAKER_02 3:57

The stars bring us wonder. They bring us awe. They may even be the most beautiful thing we can physically, mentally, and spiritually ponder. Every time I look up at the stars on a clear night, it's like every single background thought suddenly fades, and I am met with the depth of my spirit. I am immersed in God. I'm immersed in the universe, and I am immersed in nothingness all at once. I get an instant sense of peace, yet passion for discovery. It's the push-pull, the yin-yang all in one sight, the tangible realness of science in the faith of God. It's the driving force behind our human endeavors, really. Somehow, some way, these stars brought us you. And all we desire is to bring us back to them. I mean, certainly they brought us our own planet, our own galaxy, our own sun, in some big catacombs, whatever that word is, cataclysmic event. Or was it God with the snap of his will? His or her will, I should say. Who even knows? Right? Neil de Grosse Tyson would have a field day with me. Well, we know for certain that for certain, that for certain, he may say. The day may arrive when we do know, and when Neil deGrasse Tyson can actually be certainly right about his already certainly rightness. I'm only joking, and I respect any scientific effort to be right, especially from people who dedicate their life to science and discovery. But I think one of the best things we can do as scientists, as explorationists of this wonderful experience is to be able to hold two things which are conflicting in our head at once. And through this, I actually believe the paradox is we can gain more clarity in our lives. Because when you're so gun-ho about one way of doing things and you're never able to lift your head out of the foxhole of Route A and look at Route B for just a minute, you're actually not discovering the full truth. It's like you could say you don't like country music, but if you've never really listened to a country album, perhaps five or six of them, and given it a fair shot by notably popular artists who others like and who are critically acclaimed in that genre, you're actually not able to properly say, truthfully, that even you, yes, you, the person saying what you're saying is true and valid. In this sense, much of what we say and believe must be rigorously understood in order for it to be properly true. I remember it hit me about a year or so ago. I was looking up at the stars one night on a full moon. The clouds were moving fast, the wind was howling. It was a 50-degree spring night, and I was listening to music, just taking it all in, pondering life as I do. And I realized perhaps one of the most profound truths I ever could have realized. It just came to me suddenly, like a lightning strike. It was this proving whether God exists is irrelevant and actually part of the lesson of God, which is faith and trust. Let's say you could prove God exists. Right now, you can prove it. Boom, you just did it. Well, now, can you prove your neighbor won't intentionally do loud, disturbing housework at the most inconvenient times for you? At the time I couldn't because they were literally remodeling their home right next door. And there was a ton of commotion. Can you prove that they told their contractors to park on the street and not on your shared driveway? Can you prove they don't let their dog pee in your grass? Can you prove one day they won't rob your house? No, this is the point. You can sit here on this planet all day, your entire life, long, forever, and say, Well, who knows if I can trust them? They seem untrustworthy, but I could be wrong. We'll see. Or you can put your foot down right now, right here, and say, you know what, I'm going to decide to have faith. It is this decision which makes all the difference in the reality of our world. What would happen if we all had faith in a better world right now? Literally, let's run an experiment right now in our heads, in our psyches, in our spirits. What would happen if tomorrow morning at 8 a.m. every single person on this planet decided right at a singular moment that they were simply going to have faith that a better world was to be created instantly in that moment by them through their thoughts, actions, beliefs, and that everyone else on the planet was also to have that faith simultaneously. All of a sudden, you can perhaps see the issue with the human experience. Whether or not you can prove anything is irrelevant to the infinite magnitude of the force of faith. The most important lesson God gave us all was to not reveal him or herself. I mean, we don't even know the dude's gender. The most important lesson God gave us all was to have faith, was to drive forward despite the fog. Because again, proving one thing just leads to another thing to prove. There will always be more to prove. Not to say you should not attempt to prove what you can, but you must also combine this scientific thinking with the unscientific science of faith. That's like the last part, that's the last leg of the marathon, so to speak. See, with faith, there is a single decision made now, with a full force of intention. Faith has ramifications forever because faith spreads like wildfire to all spirits. True and full faith is the most contagious form of thought, and not only the most contagious, but the strongest. The most powerful, much more powerful than a double-blind placebo experiment with three standard deviations of certainty, because even the math and the results in the end lose to the power of faith that everything is going to be amazing. Everything is beautiful, everything is constantly getting better. Faith in a better world. Faith, you and I know what is right and wrong. Faith, we can live in our higher selves and expel our lower ego. Faith, spirit exists, faith, karma exists, faith, our actions matter, faith in our spiritual growth, faith, God exists. The point is, if everyone believed in the above things and had faith fully in them, proving whether God exists, the most prominently debated philosophical question would actually become irrelevant. The tree doesn't sit in the spring and think, well, I don't know if I can grow, I need to prove it first. Let's run a few double-blind experiments. No, the tree grows. Nature shows us the way to have faith. Nature guides us. All of these things foster everything it is you and I want from even sitting here having pizza and debating is God even real? The only reason we are having this discussion or any philosophical discussion in the first place is to figure out what is best for our society and our world. We all want to live good, right? We will spend an eternity, my friends, trying to prove all there is to prove. And that's the irony that we have these rigid definitions of science. Science is the least rigidly defined word you could possibly think of. Science is the constant evolution of the infinite experiment. This doesn't mean, of course, we should do the infinite experiment and figure out all there is to figure out. This is our purpose. This is our lives, to improve upon things we can prove, to learn things we must learn lessons, right? Of course, we can prove things. We just can't prove everything. That's the paradox. However, on the other hand, we will spend a 20-minute lunch break to determine: hey, let's just jump headfirst into faith as a tenant of our answer, as a core principle of our answer, faith in humanity, faith in our better and brighter future, faith in the truth, faith in love, faith in a greater God, good, faith in ourselves, faith we can be better, faith there are better days, faith in our fellow neighbors, faith that everyone is coming together to work together, to put our pasts and our tribalism and our hatred and our enemy mindset behind us once and for all. We can do this in the span of 20 minutes. Less, actually. 20 seconds, less, actually, two seconds right now. Yeah. That's about right. Two seconds. Just about as long as it takes you to pick up your keys, drive your car to the post office, right? It's a decision you and I can make right now to have faith. Faith, things aren't too good to be true. Faith, the future will actually work out perfectly. Faith, everything is happening for a reason. Again, it bears repeating. This does not mean throw the scientific methodology of testing and proving to the wayside. It rather means scientific testing is a tool, a very powerful tool. It is the yang to the yin of faith. It is the other end of the spectrum which we must hold in our heads as we hold the power of faith simultaneously. Faith at the end of the day is you swinging the hammer. It is your essential actionable force. It is your energy and your livelihood, which inherently is our energy and our livelihood. And therefore, faith is our energy, our power, and our livelihood. I just said that. Who cares? It's a cool line, and I said it twice. And this is God's greatest lesson. The issue with religion, however, is the separation of God and that God. There's this God and that God. In other words, there's these morals and those morals, and these things are right, and those things are wrong. But wait, over in this aisle, this religion, those things were wrong, and these things are right. And now, because those guys don't agree with us on point 43a, section 25, that means they're our enemy and not in our tribe and different. And now you can see the two-second decision we could have made to have faith was not made over some little disagreement, and that faith, in fact, was betrayed. When we are dividing our faith in our higher spirituality, of morality, of decency, of love, again, ultimately of faith, of a better world where we come together and work out our issues together, we're just confusing the very core of who we all are. Humans operating from the paradox of spirit and physical, humans operating from the paradox of science and faith. See, religion in a sense is splitting faith. It is splitting the answer. You are dividing the power and energy of uniting faith. The most powerful force in the universe. Politics, same thing. And at an even deeper level than politics and religion, you, every single day and moment, you decide in your mind that someone of a different appearance, just of a different you. I mean, like you're driving and you just see someone who looks different, and you just get this feeling like, why do they look different? Why are why are they different? They shouldn't be so different from me. Every single moment, every single time you do that and you decide that in your mind, and that you decide and think that that person is somehow less than you because they're different, or less worthy of life, or worse than you, you are splitting faith in your own answer of spirituality. You are splitting the answer. When there is only one answer, faith in good, which means God. Or faith in God, which means good. Everything about how those two words are so similar? God, good. Basically the same word. It's just a it's just a zero, just a oh. What is zero in mathematics? It's nothing. There's no difference. I was once once uh watching Colin Coward, sports commentator for Fox, who I'm a fan of. And no, I'm not about to rail into Colin here. But I was watching him talk about, in his words, the guy who is always right. Colin said something along the lines of, nobody likes the guy who is always right. Perhaps he meant the guy who always has to be right. But I don't remember him saying like that it like that or in that way. He literally said the guy who is always right. The guy who comes in the room with the answers. And to an extent, I think my younger, more less developed will say self can grasp what he's saying. I remember being in high school and getting a little ticked off when others were better at school than me. I wanted to be the best, but I wasn't. I just clearly wasn't. And I didn't understand why other people were just more naturally gifted in certain subjects comparatively. I was comparing myself as we all tend to do, especially at that age. There were certain students in my class who were just able to do better on tests and just overall understanding of the certain concepts, accelerating ahead of me in elective classes. I remember I was thinking I would think like, what is wrong with me? I remember I would be upset and envious. Um when they when these students would raise their hand and have the answer, I didn't, right? But as I aged and got out of school, where the environment of learning felt more forced and out of sync with where I was spiritually at the time, I began to meditate and have ideas for myself, for things I wanted to create, art, business. And through my passion and purpose and self-discovery and self-love, I discovered in this deep isolation a love again with learning. And I realized learning is my favorite thing. Learning must be my purpose. It's actually the most selfish aspect of creating this podcast, like, and the reason I'm gonna have so many guests on in the future. I just can't wait to learn from people. And um I feel like conversations are spiritually amazing. Um much better than a book, I think, in the sense where I can look into someone's eyes as they tell their life story, and I can almost integrate that into my own life in a very deep sense. Of course, books are amazing. Gaining wisdom and knowledge is my favorite thing, and therefore, how could I ever dislike the guy or girl who is always right? Back to Colin Coward here. This knowledge is our other answer, along with the faith we instill in ourselves. Of course, it is this intelligence we all have and can muster when we decide that being right is not about competing in class and getting number one. It is simply about being right for the sake of knowing. If there is a better way to cook this steak, you better tell me. Because I've been cooking this steak for a minute, dog. And you know what I'm trying to say? Like, I don't care if it makes me look bad. I want to look bad. Because, like, enough times of me looking bad, eventually I'm gonna look good. And I'm gonna look good to the person it matters to the most. Myself, in my life, in my kids, in my family, in my community. This is our other half of faith. This is the other answer. It is the unwavering lack of ego, and instead the entirely filled spirit of curiosity, the deep, deep depth of our curiosity, of our knowledge, of our testing, of our we could do better, we could figure out a better way to do this. It's those two driving forces, it's where faith and curiosity meet that drive us to this pinnacle. So when I heard Colin Coward say recently in the last year or two. Whenever he said it, I think it was two years ago or something, it stuck with me because I couldn't agree with that statement less. In fact, I want to be best friends now with the guy or girl who was always right. Show me the person who was always right, and I'll literally do anything to be in the room with them. Think about all you could uncover, all you could predict, all you could know. To me, that is paradise. Show me where I'm wrong. Perhaps this is actually precisely again the other thing that God wants us to do here on this planet. Our creator wants us to not only have faith, but to be right and to have faith that knowing how to be right is not going to be detrimental. In fact, it's going to help us. And when we can figure out how we can be right, and we can figure out how to have faith, this is what we're here to do. Instead of just constantly sitting here thinking, woe is me, as humanity has been doing since the dawn of its inception on a grand scale. It doesn't frankly matter if Elon Musk, for example, who largely embodies much of what I'm saying right now, a man who has faith in the brighter future of humanity, right, and the world, and is doing his best simultaneously to figure things out from a scientific standpoint, it seems. And I don't really care what you think of his politics and his way of doing things, you pretty much objectively cannot deny the man loves humanity, and he's doing what he can do to prove things, to figure things out, while having a positive orientation to life in the future. The point, though, that I'm making is that one man, one woman, does not make the dent we need to make. It is quite simply not enough for one man or one woman to wield this paradoxical sword to light and truth. Rather, it is the sword we all must rip out of the ground like Link in Zelda and lift to the sky ourselves, which will allow us the weaponry, so to speak, to wage the true war and fight of our lives, which is our internal battle towards our higher spirituality with both faith and discovery. And I think what Colin Coward was getting at is the fact that we as humans don't really like to be shown where we are wrong. Yet this is the exact and precise thing which makes us wrong when we do exactly this, quite obviously. See, if my shoes are untied and I don't want to look down at my shoes, then perhaps the guy who is always right, who says, bro, your shoes are untied, is going to upset me. But are they going to upset me due to my own poor, but they are going to upset me rather due to my own poor full qualifications of what actually should and should not make me upset, right? In other words, just because someone points out the fact that you're stealing doesn't make them the bad guy. And what we really need to realize is that even when we are stealing, this doesn't make us the bad guy. So long as we have faith that we can right our wrongs. It just makes us wrong in that precise moment. Ten seconds later, if we decide while we're in the car with the groceries we stole or the $50,000 from the bank we stole that this was a wrong action and that we shouldn't do it again and we don't do it again, this is all that really needs to take place. And what would be even better than this would be us learning wrong actions such as stealing in our education system instead of relying solely on parenting to teach us actions of higher morality. Therefore, we have a safety net in our education of teaching proper spirituality that prevents us from taking these actions in the first place, right? If I have a lesson of why stealing is bad for me, literally ingrained in my consciousness, then I'm much less likely to steal. And instead of me getting that lesson from the actions of stealing, we can shortcut this understanding, short circuit this understanding if we upregulate and invest more resources and energy and time into raising our consciousness in our education, even and even furthermore in our treatment and faith of ourselves and each, every in each other in every precise moment. And so we want to get our education system as right as possible. We want to be right as much as we can in our education system. What I'm saying is that it would be great if we were properly educated by both our parents and our school system, as well as given the proper resources and environmental upbringing to prevent such actions from even taking in the first place. And in addition, at that juncture, it would also be great to return the items which we stole. But really, what I'm trying to say is a lot of the time when we do something which is wrong, there is a water under the bridge, so to speak. We can't really go back and fix it most of the time. But what we can do is not define ourselves by it. And actually, instead, when we right our wrong through faith, God's greatest lesson, we can then begin defining ourselves by this righteousness. Additionally, we can also do this with other people. We can choose not to harbor hatred and judgment when other people mess up, because we can reach for the compassion and true understanding in our spiritual self and our heart towards why someone would take an action like that. Upbringing, environment, lack of education, etc. So, how this sort of relates to the bigger questions of the universe is that through this sort of, I want to say, scientific yet also faith-based understanding of right versus wrong, we are essentially as a species and a spiritual collective running mass experiments and proving things already. In other words, we have proven that stealing, murdering people, waging wars, creating enemies, killing each other, and committing acts of this sort of negativity within us doesn't make us feel good in the long run. It also, in the short run, usually brings us to prison. It also negatively impacts others around us, destroys environments, families, and can basically ruin our lives. While we simultaneously have proven through similar lines of thinking and understanding that people who commit these acts of crimes essentially do so due to upbringing. Now, the next and final step of our scientific understanding of negativity in the world is the faith portion, is the faith that our understanding, which obviously lays right before us in the simple logical reasoning of killing each other is bad, makes sense. That we can trust ourselves, right? That's a step of faith. At the end of the day, we have to trust ourselves with this basic, simple intuition we have. And more importantly, we have to have faith that we can actually take proper actions to resolve future potential crimes through the through less of the prove it methodology and more of the faith methodology we need to implement. The good things of them. The good things of religion. Which is really ultimately faith. And we've set up these dogmatic entities that don't represent their very intention, or at least aren't effective at getting that intention across. But I'm very excited and I'm keeping an open mind when I am going into the upcoming series of this podcast, which is a religion interview series I'm going to do with I'm gonna start with doing nine interviews with three people from each of the three major religions. Um I'm gonna interview three people from uh Judaism, three people from Christianity, three people from the Islamic religion, um pastors, rabbis, imams, people who know their stuff. Because I want to get to the bottom of this and I want to figure out what's all happening here. It's an interesting topic. When we are all saved and a bright light comes down from the sky, and those who are ready to ascend with the light are chosen, and those who are not are not chosen, and stay dormant in their own misery or something like that, is when the world will be saved, right? This may very well be the truth of this reality, and I'm willing to accept that. I'm willing to accept that as a possibility. Back down here to Earth, more specifically, maybe your garage where you got all your tools, maybe a lawnmower. Do you remember the last time you lost your keys or your wallet for more than like ten seconds of misplacing them? Like more specifically, you couldn't find them for more than five minutes. At that precise moment, you sort of likely freaked out a bit internally and you began looking frantically for them. You were looking everywhere, far and wide, under every single couch cushion, in every closet. You were texting your friends, you nearly booked a plane ticket to Alaska. Yet all of a sudden it turned up. Out of nowhere. It seemingly turned up in the most obvious spot, the most frequently visited spot, the home, so to speak, of that item. It was just under something you hadn't thought to look for. Duh, you said. Of course that's where it was. Maybe this hasn't happened to you, and I'm just an idiot, so sorry if that story wasted your time. But it has happened to me a few times in my life. See what I'm trying to say is that perhaps this bright light coming down from the sky, our savior moment, our messiah, is not necessarily a spell of magic from the sky. It could very well be a magical moment, which reminds us of everything it is we know. Perhaps the spell is simply the words of a reminder of our own power, if we just harnessed more faith, and paradoxically, through much of the scientific logical understanding of humanity, its history, its flaws, its beauty, the logic, the logical standard deviation, statistically significant answer of our Savior is, in all likelihood, ourselves. That was a messy sentence. Let me say that again. Perhaps the spell is simply our own words of a reminder of our own power if we just harness more faith. And paradoxically, through much of the scientific logical understanding of humanity, its history, its flaws, its beauty, perhaps the logical standard deviation, statistically significant answer of our Savior is, in all likelihood, ourselves. Some may not like what I'm trying to say right now, some may agree with me fullheartedly, some may not understand what I'm even saying, some may even get offended. But what I'm trying to tell you today is that something I know with the most certainty I can possibly muster. See, I'm gonna just say a little something about me personally. So you know me a little better. As soon as I turned 23 when I was out of school officially, no more college, no more high school, I ironically fell in love with learning for the first time. It wasn't shoved down my throat. And since then, I've always been curious. I've always been trying to be right. And I guess that makes me the guy nobody likes in Colin Coward's world. Maybe you can see my insecurities coming through right now. Could I be wrong? Of course. That's the paradox. To be the guy who always wants to be right, you always have to accept the fact that you can be wrong at every single moment. Have I been wrong? Of course. Have I rectified my wrongs towards right? I try to do this every single moment of my life at my highest ability. Back to this whole savior thing. What I'm trying to tell you is that I just have a strong intuitive hunch on this. But even if I am wrong, what I'm about to tell you isn't still necessarily wrong in it of itself, which is what makes it so beautiful, and I guess is what makes me again the guy who is always right and who nobody likes. That's fine with me. I'm not doing this podcast to win a popularity contest. Rather, I'm honestly just doing this because I love it, and I feel like I'm exploring the depths of my spirit with everyone listening. I feel like I know what each word is doing, and it is doing exactly what I'm saying right now. It's either guiding me and us towards more right or more wrong. And every single moment, at every single podcast, every single week, I try and write this. I try to make it more and right, more right and less wrong. I said everyone listening, or no one listening. Frankly, it doesn't matter that much to me at all. Because this is my growth, and that's what matters. I want you to think about a family. Your family, your future family, the family of Earth, so to speak. Whatever family means to you, in the most loving way you could muster that meaning. There was so much to unpack about a family from a spiritual perspective. See, your family, your world, is just an extension of you. Your kids aren't who they are just naturally. They don't just come out exactly and completely fully manufactured like some toys are us toy. Oh, well, here's Johnny. He's five months old and he's exactly who he's going to be when he's 55. Obviously not. Johnny is going to be pretty much mostly a product of his environment. Let's go back to the love for your family. See, you actually, as I've stated many times in this podcast, can't develop love for your family, for your world around you, until you fully fall in love with yourself in your own life. This is because, as I have stated many times, when you are in love with yourself in your own life, your only goal is to maintain this vibration of love, which is the highest possible vibration. This is because humans are pleasure-seeking animals. We seek pleasure and avoid pain. This is also because, from a spiritual perspective, your spirit seeks love, which is compounded by growth. If you love the book you're reading, you're going to keep reading it. If you love the workouts you do, you're going to keep doing the workouts. If you love the feeling of spreading love to others, you're going to keep doing this. And we all love the feeling of love. So, what I'm trying to say is when you are truly in love with your growth and your life so much, it extends to your family in raising kids or even just the world or just yourself into the world, right? However, when we fall out of love with ourselves, we then actually begin to fall out of love with the world around us. We begin to look for others' faults constantly. And this is actually done at a very subconscious level for most people. Most people don't even realize they are doing this. However, the key is if you ever find yourself blaming other people for your problems, if you find yourself complaining and even casting hatred towards others, then you must realize you have fallen out of love with yourself in your life. You have lost faith, and you have lost the lust for the desire for knowledge and the answers. Of course, this happens to all of us. It happens to us in moments, perhaps long extended periods of time. However, it is our conscious effort to pull ourselves out of this mud towards our remembrance, which is which is actually what saves us. So when we think about raising ourselves, so to speak, in both a physical, mental, and spiritual way, this is actually how we raise our families in the world around us. Can the world around us be cruel? Sure. Can the world around us be evil? Perhaps. Although I like to use the word damaged. Yes, of course, the world around us can feed us the wrong frequencies, but it's through our own fortitude, our own will, and our own remembrance which is what catapults us towards our divine nature of unconditional love and everything we could ever want in eternal bliss. If we are pleasure-seeking animals and growth-seeking spirits and mentally curious brains, what would be the service of hatred? What would be the service of complaining and blaming? What would be the purpose of having enemies? See, it is at this point in our human history and our spiritual collective development, we have learned all there is to learn from the only dumb thing we do as humans. What is the only dumb thing we do as humans? Hurt each other. The lesson has been learned. We all know it at this point. Now we are just waiting for the understanding to reach us all. And for us to drive through the final wave of ego through the spirits who believe that looking down at your untied shoes would be such a radical inconvenience. That stopping yourself from tripping over yourself would be such a radical inconvenience. In other words, looking at the truth, which is blocking their ascension of their spirituality, would be an inconvenience. Yeah, here's a billion dollars spiritually. No thanks, says the spirit who just wants to keep killing other people for liking mustard instead of ketchup. I always find myself thinking things are funny and then sad. Like this is just how my brain works. Like I realize like deep, profound truths, and then I'm like, that is hilarious. But it is it is the stamp is sadness. The initial reaction is laughing. Maybe that's why comedy works. Maybe that's why the comedians don't go too deep, too. You know, they stay, they go deep, but then the like they can't go like extra deep. They can't go the extra mile. Because then they're just gonna make their audience sad. I remember when I was coming out of the worst moment of my life at 30 years old complaining. I had lost all my money, all my girlfriend who loved who I loved. I didn't finish my art, my album, and my app I was developing. Everything was left on the table. I had to move back home. Everything was still a work in progress that required more financial resources to finish, which nobody was willing to give me. Nobody believed in me. I thought my friends betrayed me during my injury. If you don't know the story of my injury, listen to episode six. I was looking for people to blame. I was looking for people to help me. I was complaining. Why wouldn't others just help me finish my album? Why would the world be so cruel to me? I was sleeping in a closet-sized room on a metal framed pullout sofa, which was digging into my back as I slept. It was the worst sleep of my life. For months and months. I couldn't work out or meditate because my mind was so negative, and I thought, due to such bad sleep I was getting that if I were to work out, it would be ultimately bad for me because of a lot of the studies that I've seen on ultimately, you know, working out being bad for you if you don't sleep at all. I woke up at 8 a.m. every day to my grandpa's TV blaring the news. CNN, MSNBC, whatever it was. As you know, I'm not a big fan of any news channels. Just 30 feet away from my bed. 8 a.m. wasn't super early, but it was at that time when I all I wanted to do was sleep away all my problems and get some good rest and have a normal routine. I was 30 years old. Living in a two-bedroom house in a closet-sized room with three other people. There was a period I hadn't got a good night's rest for what felt like two years straight, but was actually realistically more like one year. Still a long time. I felt sorry for myself, and honestly, there was a lot that hadn't gone my way. And of course, my life was hard at that time. There's no denying that. But the truth is, I, David Applebaum, was making it harder than it needed to be. My spirituality, my faith, my will had dipped, and I was becoming my own worst enemy. I remember one afternoon I was grateful to connect with a mentor of mine on the phone who I had relied upon at that time. I remember we were texting back and forth as he couldn't talk because he was just getting repairs done at his house. He said to me, Take it one step at a time. It's not complicated. Just apply to a job. Just get a job, work the job, do it for a few years, several years. Show your parents you can work. Then they will help you get into an apartment after some time. And then you can eventually get to be on your own. Five years you won't have to ask anyone for anything. Just get a job. Work the job. It's a simple plan. It is not complicated. Don't overthink it and give it time. Each of these sentences were a separate text and an hour back and forth between me and my mentor. I remember my brain was so scattered, my body so tired, my mind so defeated, was just like, yes. Like it was that afternoon. Every system in my energy just said yes, obviously. It wasn't the message I wanted to hear, but it was clearly the one I needed to hear. My intuition knew it. This is the path. It was simple. It relied upon me. And I just needed to just take the most obvious and simple action I could possibly take to get myself out of this mental misery. And I also just needed to have faith that things would work out if I just decided to save myself one step at a time. This was my lowest moment, yes. Yet it was the turning point I made internally to just have faith in the obvious answer staring at me directly in the face. The solution wasn't continuing to blame other people. It wasn't continuing to focus on the negatives of the past or the current. The solution wasn't to paint a grim future for myself because humans were so messed up and society was ruined and blah blah blah blah blah, and there's no point in trying and there's no point to anything. The solution, rather, was to orient my mind and spirit towards a positive future which relied upon my actions. And once my actions were helping me, they would compound and eventually the universe would assist me. I just had to help myself first and stop living in this negative spiral of fear and anger. More directly, the solution wasn't outside of myself. The solution was directly inside of myself. The solution was orienting my spirituality to what I knew was right. Did I feel good when I yelled at my parents and got mad at them for the situation? Did I feel good when I blamed my employers for not hiring me when I was looking for a job? Did I feel good when I blamed my girlfriend for not seeing a future with me? Or did I know deep down that the solutions I sought, the answers I sought, the solace in the peace which awaited my spirit was an internal battle. I remember it was 7-7 2023, a few days prior. I was having this text conversation, a few days prior, rather, with my mentor. If you add up all those numbers, 7723, it's literally 777. And I remember on that exact day, my entire family who was living in the house with me left to go out of town for seven days. My cousin went on a road trip to Chicago, my mom and grandpa went on a cruise, and I had the house to myself for the first time since I had moved back home and lost everything. No more CNN in the morning, just peace and quiet. I was so disturbed too at this point. I didn't even take advantage of this time to meditate and clear my head. I was just so happy to sleep. But on that day, the 777 day, a beautiful song came out by one of my favorite artists, Laney. The song was called Olonica.

SPEAKER_00 47:19

It goes back to Alonica where the sun is out all the time. My favorite beach is there in the sand it travels for miles.

SPEAKER_02 48:01

I was like, what? These guys released this song about being alone on this triple seven day. Like, what is going on here? Then I started learning about this belief system called numerology, where numbers carry energy and have deep internal spiritual meaning. And the deep internal spiritual meaning of the number seven represents isolation and deeper spiritual introspection. The loner. Seven's the number of the loner. Whenever we are alone, whenever we force ourselves to be alone and we don't have the noise of the outside world around us, that's when we actually are able to grow. When we do this deep spiritual introspection. And so this was such a beautiful moment. And I had believed that for my whole life, basically as soon as I turned 20, when I was like smart enough to like actually start having my own ideas and beliefs that are legitimate. I had the house to myself, and I just cried as I listened to it all morning long. I was finally alone and I finally had the time to look inside once again and ascend with where it was I needed to go. And that week I realized the most important decision I could make was the decision to choose how I let things affect me and to choose the spirituality of my internal world. It was the decision to not be a victim of my circumstances and instead be the catalyst of faith and will at all times in my life for all change. Oh well, David, that's a dumb little story of your life, which has nothing to do with the larger world at hand. Perhaps there is some logic to lead you down this road, but you are missing the other half of the equation, my friend. What was also happening, and this is crucial, is I was allowing a lot of my fears at the time to control decisions. At that time I had a large fear of brain damage, and I still do, it's probably my biggest fear, but it is much less controlling over my life now than it than it ever was back then. If you knew me back then, you would understand all the things I did. Um and you would have thought they were crazy. Anyone who knows me uh at that period of my time of my life, listening to this is like going crazy right now, hearing those words. But back then I did so many things to ensure I wasn't quote unquote harming myself and giving myself brain damage. And of course, this fear is totally invalid. Uh isn't rather totally invalid. This fear is has some validity to it, right? In fact, we all shouldn't want to suffer brain damage, and most of us seek to protect ourselves from this fate. However, I was letting my fears dictate my actions at every turn, and it got so bad that I started to make irrational choices instead of the very grounded and rational choices I knew I had to make. Remember, just get a job one foot in front of the other. But no, I was afraid to use my computer in certain places of the house, which caused me to basically not use my computer, despite the fact that I should have used it to edit my resume, apply to the best jobs I could, take Zoom calls. No, I relied upon my phone for applying to jobs and solemnly used my computer. I was convinced my computer had been compromised due to EMF, and it was going to give me brain damage because of all the um basically electrical devices that was crowded around me in that small house that I was living in at the time. It's a long story, and maybe one day I'll get into it. But basically, I had brought myself into a state in my mind of complete delusion. Yet over time, that started rather from a place of somewhat valid thinking. But over time, but it uh rather devolved into complete delusion. Yet over time, as I ascended and transcended this dark place of my soul's journey, I realized my own delusion. However, it only came after realizing, again, the delusion was a choice to allow my fear to grow instead of to slay the beast, so to speak. Again, I was looking towards the outside world of how my computer was somehow going to give me brain damage instead of my own sanity doing the very thing I was afraid of. I could have believed my thoughts of negativity. It was to go down the road of I have these uncontrollable thoughts, this OCD, I need help. I need to medicate myself and numb myself to grow to my growth and spirituality as most of us all do. My fear of brain damage, by the way, is all rooted in a deeper fear of essentially not reaching my potential creatively and making all the art I wanted to make, which is rooted in another fear of essentially not being enough as I already am, and the things that I'm creating are not good enough, and I need to make them even better, and all these fears, right? But through facing these fears, understanding them and integrating them, facing them with exposure therapy, I was able to transcend them to a place of internal strength. Now I face many of my fears daily and gain strength through each one I overcome, which allows me to have better understanding and more faith simultaneously. I'm essentially saving myself each and every day and becoming better equipped to wield the sword of truth and to ascend my higher self and spirituality. See, many of us have these fears which are similar to mine, but very different. I talk about this in the first episode of this podcast. The very first episode, how unique our fears are and how powerfully important they are in dictating our lives and our decisions. Yours will look completely different than mine. You're gonna like hear me talk about EMFs and think I'm crazy and brain damage. But there will be a commonality where there is essentially a valid concern which begins to grow into a delusional view, which causes improper actions and then an improper understanding that the outside world is more powerful than the inside world. For example, a lot of people have a fear of public speaking, but I do not have this fear at all. In fact, I love speaking in front of groups of people and writing long things to say, which many people may not agree with. Many people fear being the outcast. I don't mind this at all. Others may fear eating raw fish, etc. My point is our fears are all a driving force to us to integrate and understand. Not integrate blindly, rather, they are the ultimate testing, the other side of the faith. Like jumping off every cliff we think is tall is not necessarily a good idea. Rather, it what is a good idea is for us to understand what cliffs are worth jumping off, so to speak, as a means to more deeply understand ourselves. Ultimately, in conclusion of everything, what I'm saying is you are the seed in winter. When everything is dark and cold, you are the light which can and will grow into the beautiful tree, which nourishes itself sustainably and nourishes others. But you have to accomplish this through unconditional commitment to the following four things, which I've already spoken about in this episode, but I will now summarize. So, how do you save yourself? Step one, unconditional love and belief in yourself and your growth. You have to look inside before you look outside. When we look for others to blame instead of ourselves, it's as silly as blaming the a hundred-pound dumbbell for being too heavy for us to lift. No, you can lift that dumbbell, but only when you are ready and you have grown into the person capable of having that strength. It's not the dumbbell's fault you can't lift it. It's your limit you put on yourself, and the limit is set with the amount of love you cast upon yourself and your experience, which will dictate your faith and to your belief that you can grow strong enough one day to lift the dumbbell. If you're love, if you love yourself enough, you will always find a way because love, again, is the compounding variable for growth. When I love life, I want to grow. Life is synonymous with growth. When I find things to enjoy, more things I enjoy find me. If I take a positive attitude towards the book I'm about to pick up, somehow the pages will turn. Do what Colin Okay, so that's step one. Step two, do what Colin Coward says nobody will like. So, which is to always figure out where you are wrong in order to always be right. This is your purpose and your fulfillment in a nutshell. You are the mad scientist constantly tinkering. You don't have irrational, intrusive thoughts. You have a spry young spirit awaiting the adventure of the billions of things you can uncover and the billions of things you can do for yourself and others. The irony is when you love yourself, you will do the opposite of what Colin says, because when you love yourself, your necessity for others to love you becomes obsolete. You realize that love is everyone's highest potential. Therefore, anyone who doesn't show you love is simply missing the point. So that eliminates any fear of judgment. From there, through growth and wisdom, the spirit realizes one important truth about this world, and we have already touched on it. In fact, it is the main point. Your internal world is paramount. Your external world matters little in comparison. What others think about you depends much on what their level of consciousness is. And if you are listening to these words right now, I'm assuming your level of consciousness is at a point where you realize the average level of consciousness of the world is not at this level of spiritual understanding of love, as we see constant blame, constant tribalism, and hatred in our world as it stands now. What I'm saying here is be right at all cost. It doesn't matter what people think of you. What matters is your own internal understanding of yourself and your own higher spirituality. You know what is right. It doesn't matter if other people aren't caught up to what is right. You catch them up by catching yourself up, by being the person who is always right. You want to be the person who is always right for yourself. Who cares what other people think? That's what I'm trying to say. So do your best to always be right with yourself and with your actions and understand you actually spiritually and morally know what is right and wrong based on what feels light and what feels heavy when you are in tune with your spirit. To be in tune with your spirit, you have to be naturally who you are, unobstructed by the world. Wake up, no pills, no nothing, just water, tea, maybe, little light exercise, two hours meditating, fully rested, fully focused, for two months straight, and then all of a sudden, you'll probably realize what is right and what is wrong. Voila! Because that's who you are, that's who we all are. And you would also realize what was done out of fear. You would realize what was done out of love and what the proper actions for your life are if you deeply analyze them. This is because our spirits are naturally hardwired for our ascension and for what is our in our best interest. It is only when we are out of touch with them where we don't know right from wrong. The science of what is right and wrong and the lessons we must all learn can be uncovered in books, in stories, and experience in your life. Have the passion and curiosity to uncover these things. This ties into point two, but point three is to transcend your fear. Realize your fear is beautiful, is a beautiful thing. It allows you to make the proper decisions of quick instincts in the sense of judgment. I need to go grocery shopping now, a fear that you will not have groceries if you don't. But when we let our fears run wild and we go grocery shopping every single day, so to speak, out of fear and of not having groceries, metaphorically, this is when our energy reserves and our spirit is out of touch with what is right and wrong within us. To quell fear, we must realize what fears are worth facing and which aren't. If you are trying to face your fear of jumping off a cliff, perhaps, this is a fear which you don't need to face. Perhaps that fear is just a guidepost you want to respect. Besides, jumping off the cliff or not isn't really affecting your life, your purpose, and your values in any other way. However, if we are faced with a fear every single day, which is directly impacting our purpose, our value in our lives, perhaps it is time to face it. Only you know what is right, remember, when you are in touch with yourself. And you must remember to be right. You must know you have the capability to be right. You have to have the faith. If the fear is to be faced, face it with bravery, knowing you are one with God and divine, knowing that the fear is meant to be faced, and that with more exposure the fear will quell and you will be on your path. Truly, the best remedy to fear is faith, which is why I mentioned God. There is only so much a human being can prove, and at a certain point we have to leave it up to God and something larger than ourselves. However, it is our job to be the scientist to determine this in the first place. We cannot simply rely and yield all of our power and decisions making to God or other people. Otherwise, nobody will put the iron of the sword to the flame in our lives. Ultimately, step four, it is our self-responsibility to save ourselves. Our lives come down to self-responsibility. We are the savior of our lives. When we grow and ascend, we realize it is not money which is at the root of all evil. It is fraud. In other words, it's not the tools, the outside world we have at our disposal. It is rather the man who wields the sword, the woman who holds the baby, who has the duty and the responsibility to ascend and remember. Number five, faith. I said there'd be four things, but I said the word faith like 5,000 times in this episode. Because I think it's that important, and I think it culminates what this episode's all about, which is like I see so many people's problems in their lives. And they write it on their faces. Through their words. It all comes down to the same thing. It all comes down to the negativity within them. It all comes down to not having faith. So that is the final message of this episode and the final step to saving yourself. To have faith that you can do it. To have faith at every single moment. To have unwavering faith. That's the most important thing you can get, perhaps, of this entire podcast, of all the thousands of episodes I'll ever record on this episode on this podcast. I love you. That's all for now. Have an amazing day, week. I'll see you next time.