Lean In to Learn Ep.13: How Soft Skills are Critical to Mindsilike's Organization with guest Alethia Cadore

Join Jessica Soodeen as she discusses How Soft Skills are Critical to Mindsilike's Organization on Lean In To Learn with guest Alethia Cadore.

In partnership with Workplace Education Manitoba and thank you to our funder the Government of Canada Skills for Success Program. 

Joignez-vous à Jessica Soodeen qui discute comment les compétences interpersonnelles sont essentielles à l'organisation de Mindsilike avec son invitée Alethia Cadore.

On tiens à reconnaître Éducation en milieu de travail Manitoba et à remercier notre bailleur de fonds, le programme Compétences pour réussir du gouvernement du Canada.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Welcome

Welcome And Guest Introduction

SPEAKER_01 0:03

to Lean In to Learn, your Skills for Success podcast. I'm Jessica Soudin, spokesperson for Workplace Connections, Master Certified Relational Skills Practitioner, and advocate of skills for success at work. Lean in to Learn is a series focused on insightful approaches and forward-thinking topics related to relational skills, which many of us refer to as soft skills. I'd like to acknowledge Workplace Education Manitoba and thank our funder, the Government of Canada's Skills for Success program. I am carefully curated subject matter experts will introduce you to an array of tools, resources, and personal journeys that will educate and empower to solve people-related issues at work, as well as build individual skills for success. So settle in and open up your hearts and minds as we lean in to learn. Alethea is the CEO of Minds I Like Wellness Foundation, a compassionate child and youth care practitioner and registered psychotherapist with over 20 years experience helping individuals, families, and teams restore balance and thrive. She specializes in recovery from trauma and building resilience through personalized wellness plans and community-based healing. Focusing on centering and amplifying the voices of BIPOC youth, Alethea helps young people make sense of their experiences, emotions, and worldview in a time that can feel confusing and overwhelming. Together, they create a realistic wellness plan to manage stress and build resilience. And she's a recent author of Mindful Mastery Workbook. Welcome, Alethea, to Learn and to Learn. Hey, thanks for watching.

SPEAKER_00 2:21

Had to get it all in. I appreciate it. Thank you so much. Oh, it's a pleasure. Nice being here.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

You know, it's lovely to have you. So we usually start off our podcast with a little bit of a, you know, a human connection. So if I and I did do some research on you, so if I was doing a little bit of research and I'm looking at LinkedIn and your website and what

Alethea’s Story And Fun Fact

SPEAKER_01 2:41

have you, what would be maybe a fun fact about Alithia or a maybe a hobby or something that I wouldn't find there?

SPEAKER_00 2:48

Oh, well, I don't know if it's up there, but I think people should know this by now that I love taking pictures. And one of the things that I did when I was vacationing over three months in the beautiful island of Grenada, every sunrise and sunset, I would take a picture of it. And it was just so beautiful. So those days when it's cold here, like right now, I just go back to my pictures and just look at how I spent my summer. It was so beautiful and relaxing.

SPEAKER_01 3:22

Oh, I love that. I love that. And I love that you're in Granada. I spent some time living in Spain myself. Beautiful. But today it's all about you.

SPEAKER_00 3:31

Yes, okay. All right. I was just saying, you know, just having an opportunity to travel is amazing because you get to see things from a full perspective, not just one way all the time.

SPEAKER_01 3:44

Yeah, that's so very cool. That's so very cool. Yeah, Spain is an amazing place. So let's dig in here. So as I was tooling around on your website, one of your core values is empathy, both in how Mindsight Like supports clients and also how you run your services with professionals. So, how do you cultivate and practice empathy as a foundational skill in your therapeutic and organizational work?

Empathy As An Organizational Cornerstone

SPEAKER_00 4:11

That's a really good question. And I just wanted to expand on the fact that empathy, it's woven into every level of my organization, from the way that I treat young people that are in my practice, and I also work with adults too, all the way to the students that I mentor in my practice. I mentor child and youth practitioners, and I also mentor master students that are finishing up their psychology degree and they're interested in counseling. And what I find is when I begin my practice with understanding and supporting others and slowly, you know, slowing down and truly listening to their story and to understand the emotions underneath their story and creating a safe space for them, I realize that they're able to feel comfortable quickly, feel open enough to start talking about things that are challenging for them. And I notice that once I'm able to affirm and validate them in this space, then they really start to feel that there's someone there that understands their lived experience and that what they are saying to me really matters. And it's the same also with students, and I find with students I have the same type of environment where I feel that I can relate and I do a lot of relational supervision where I understand the needs and the complexities of the students that I support. And I mainly support Black racialized students that may not have an opportunity to have a proper internship. And I like to apply what they need with the realities of what it's like to be in a practice today. And I find that that was a gap that I wanted to address when I was in school to have culturally reflective internships that worked with a specific group of people to address their needs. And then the other thing that I think is very important for us when we're in this field and in this environment is to give back to our community. And I always make sure that I create space to do that. Empathy, it should be the cornerstone of all human interaction. And I think sometimes we lose that.

SPEAKER_01 6:42

Absolutely. And it sounds like you're really focusing on creating that psychological safety for all of your clients. Like that's just, you know, massive.

Communication Skills For Burnout And Stress

SPEAKER_01 6:51

And like you said, you know, communication, especially listening, is central to that mental wellness work. So can you talk about how active, reflective, and attuned communication skills help your clients navigate the challenges of, say, burnout, anxiety, stress?

SPEAKER_00 7:12

Wonderful. And we all know that this is part of soft skills, to have empathy, to have communication, and to be able to address some of those needs. And we all know that when we're in the workplace, we have a multitude of concerns that cause us to have a little bit of stress or burnout. We're dealing with clients. If you're in a client-facing community and you're working in that type of environment, or maybe you're on a high-powered team and your goal is to execute systems that your team can follow. I mean, these things are going to cause a lot of stress for people, especially if you have some challenges in communicating what those goals are and what those needs are. And then you also have to be in that position to be able to reflect what you're hearing from the other team members or other people that are involved, you know, just to be able to hear what people are saying to you and to reflect that understanding is very crucial when you're dealing with people that, you know, may come to you with some complex challenges. They're really looking for you to be the leader to solve some of those problems. And when you're thinking about what those issues can be, just having that clear, compassionate dialogue where people feel validated, they feel heard, they feel empowered helps them to feel grounded. It gives them the structure through your own modeling of how to respond to others, how to relate to you. And I find that that interrelationship is very helpful when you are negotiating with big teams, or maybe you're working on a smaller team and you need to ensure that they're understanding that through your leadership they can feel safe, they can feel grounded during traditional or stressful times. And I find with the soft skills that depending on the setting that you're in, it really helps you to learn how to bridge gaps between different team members, different age groups, because we know that in the workplace we have diversity not only in gender, but also with age and life stage. And I find that that can make your workplace very dynamic when you have these differences.

SPEAKER_01 9:48

Totally. You know, on another Lean In to Learn podcast, someone had mentioned that we have almost five generations in the workforce now, from baby booners up to Gen Zed. Like it's uh it's a challenge.

SPEAKER_00 10:03

It is. And imagine trying to relate to everyone's needs as a leader. It gets really complexing and it can get really challenging. So I think that's why it's important to understand the individual worker, but then also understand your your own personal mission and your values when it comes to how you want these groups to work together.

Leading Across Generations

SPEAKER_01 10:27

And let's stick with this theme of diverse professionals and leaders. What do you think some of the soft skills that help you and your team bridge the gap between the mental health support and the workplace well-being, especially in that diverse professional and leadership area?

SPEAKER_00 10:45

Well, that's fantastic because most of us really pride ourselves on cultural competency and the fact that we're living in a city, especially Toronto, because that's I grew up here. And uh just knowing that there was so much diversity from my high school, from my community, my neighborhood, even the extracurricular activities that I was involved in. And I always found that there was always room and space for people to express their individuality, but also have a little bit there where their culture can shine. So I found that when I was working in different workspaces, we would have diversity of different professionals. And we would try and highlight a certain day or maybe once a week where we would all go out and do something that was related to someone's culture, not to make them feel separated at all, but I love the inclusivity of having a workplace that really takes time to acknowledge maybe your birthday, or they might say, Hey, all of us are going together and we're gonna chip in to have a cultural lunch. And I've worked in spaces where they've done that, and I love the fact that people were just saying, Yep, this is the day, and people really rallied around living in Toronto, that everyone has their day or month where they can be celebrated. And the inclusive part is that we all get to learn and we all get to participate

Cultural Competence And Inclusion At Work

SPEAKER_00 12:25

in that diversity. And I see that with the teams that I'm leading and also with the teams that I'm invited to talk about some of the mental health and wellness, and most of these spaces that I'm going into, these are people that are doing service coordination or they're dealing with front-facing public. So obviously, these people that have taken these jobs, they love what they're doing and they love to serve and they love to help the community. So the first thing I do is when I come into these spaces is to thank people for choosing a job that serves other people. And they might say, Oh, I'm just, you know, working at CRA and I'm not really doing anything big. But I'm like, no, that's a major thing to wake up in the morning and say, hey, this is what I choose to do. I choose to serve others today. That is so huge in humanity. And then we like to tell them that the reality is when you're going from place to place, your identity never changes. So we might have to switch our code when we go into certain workspaces based on your identity and your social location. However, one thing is that your issues and your problems don't stop at the door. There might be something that happens in your workplace that might trigger you or might cause you to feel upset or cause you to have an emotional reaction. A trigger doesn't necessarily mean you're angry, it triggers something inside of you that stirs up some emotion, whether it's mental or physical. So, this is what I want people to pay attention to that we need to implement some type of wellness when we're working in service positions or front-facing positions dealing with the public, because we're not only coming in with our own personal issues that don't stop at the door, but the people that are also coming in the door also may have some concerns and issues. And that energy surrounding can also trigger some other emotions. So we always have to be aware and take some time for ourselves to self-regulate our emotions and also just to validate yourself in a space that could be challenging for people.

SPEAKER_01 14:54

You really bring up an interesting point about the uh front facing and people facing jobs. You know, I think a lot of people maybe think that they're just going somewhere, but they're they may be making someone's day.

SPEAKER_00 15:06

Yeah, and I think that's something that we have to really be mindful of. And that's why I always try to encourage workplaces to make sure that people integrate some time and some self-care throughout the day so that they don't feel burnt out at the end of the day. And that's it. We're giving so much of our energy to others where we're reserving that little bit of time for ourselves.

SPEAKER_01 15:34

Absolutely. That's brilliant. And when you're talking about that, I think that's a really great way to build trust and rapport that I imagine are essential in psychotherapy and in coaching and in working with individuals or group. So when you think about relational skills like presence, non-judgment, authenticity, how that shows up in your practice, how do you see them making a difference in long-term client outcomes and how they how they take that forward and really grow from that?

SPEAKER_00 16:06

Well, that's amazing because this is one thing that we talk about in the field of psychotherapy, psychology, even working with young people, because we talk about ecological interventions, like their worldview. What are we seeing? And in order for us to move through life successfully, we have to be able to relate to people. And that's why when the relational skills part came for my workplace, people really tune into that because that is 90% of what we do is build relationships with people. That's what makes people come back to the practice and makes them want to book again, right? For

Triggers, Self‑Regulation, And Service Roles

SPEAKER_00 16:46

you know, their sessions. And it's based on that first session, talking to them, validating their experience, letting them know how they feel. You might share a little bit about your own experience so that they get that connection. And then at the end, it's about okay, well, now that you've received this information and it's empowered you to make the difference, what are you choosing to do? Because I still leave it up to them. They still have a consultant that they're consulting for the first time that could be very nerve-wracking for people that have held on to those emotions for so long and they're finally ready to deal with it. And then they come and they meet with me, and I want to make sure that that first initial impression and interaction leaves them to the point where they're like, you know what, I feel safe. Maybe I might need to have one more session with her, or yeah, I'm feeling comfortable. She made me feel seen, she made me feel heard, and I think I'm gonna book again with her to continue. And I always validate people and I say, you know what, thank you for showing up. I know that it was hard for you to do that, and you know, please do something good for yourself. You deserve it. And I think people really love to hear that because they've never had that opportunity where they're pouring out their own personal things that they probably never shared with anybody before, and now they're, you know, deciding to deal with it. And then I'm gonna be closed off, I'm gonna be rigid, I might have this look on my face, and they're thinking to themselves, oh no, why did I even think about that? But for us being welcoming, for us to have that relational skill, for us to show our true authentic selves by showing up, by sharing, that we've also had struggles too. And people see me as a woman of color, they know that it's not easy to be in these spaces and to have your own business and to be successful. So, you know, in one way, I'm showing them that, hey, with some time and with some persistence and love of what you do, it can make a great career for you and a great future. So, I mean, it's about taking them through that journey, helping them to identify what those emotions are that were triggering them and holding them back, but also helping them through that experience by, like you said, being authentic, by sharing a little bit of my myself, then they're able to feel that they're not alone and that they can continue and get well and get healthy because that looks different for different people.

SPEAKER_01 19:29

Sure, sure. I imagine it looks, and I imagine with your diversity of clients as well, working with teens

Presence, Authenticity, And Client Outcomes

SPEAKER_01 19:36

and then corporate leaders alike, you know, there's there's a common thread there, which is humanity.

SPEAKER_00 19:42

Yes. And I think another thing is that when we are going through our developmental life stages, when we experience a crisis or a trauma, we revert back to that childlike concrete operational phase. So this is what people Have to realize is that we do revert back to something that's more protective for us and we go right back to those thoughts of protecting ourselves when we were a child. So for me to have that experience of developmental childhood experiences, and if they're not healed properly, it does manifest in ourselves as adulthood. So the fact that I can walk them through what that was like for them as a child and inform them about what that trauma could have done to impact them to where they are today. People love that because they see that I understand that journey. And I'm not just coming in with the adult psycho pathology because I understand it from when they were young and how it grows into something that could be debilitating for them as an adult. And I think getting them through that life journey opens up a lot of ice for them because they've never gone through that journey. And a lot of people kind of relate it to that ayahuasca experience. I know they do because you know when you have those experiences, you go right back to where that first traumatic wound really impacted you. And that's what I'm doing here in my space is taking you through that journey safely so you understand who you are today.

SPEAKER_01 21:26

Wow. That is that is some deep work. And I could see how I mean, geez, I've been a I've been a corporate leader myself. And you know, once you're able to reflect on how am I reacting to the situation and then what does my reaction mean? Am I happy with it? I'm not not happy with it. And if I am not, if I'm not cool with how I'm being, you know, where can I turn to to dig into this? And clearly you are the great one to uh turn to this. This is amazing. Yeah, yeah, this is good. Yeah, and someone so someone that goes.

SPEAKER_00 22:04

And that's why I like working with young people because then you're getting them at the stages before they get into all of those harder, challenging things, right? We're getting them to understand to develop their soft skills at a younger age so that they can emerge to be a stronger leader when that time comes.

SPEAKER_01 22:23

Yeah. Oh my gosh. This is, I could go on forever. This has been really, really, truly amazing. And your insights of how how you really go into the start to finish journey for people and be able to, even when you're when you're with your corporate clients or some older leaders, more mature, let's say, as opposed to older, but yes, they're older as well. Leaders to be able to reflect on them and make them feel really heard and make them feel safe about maybe some of this is coming

Developmental Trauma And Adult Behavior

SPEAKER_01 22:55

from some past stuff that you know it's gonna take a little while for you to be comfy to look at.

SPEAKER_00 23:01

Yeah. And I mean, I'm a senior leader myself. So I understand that, hey, when we get to a certain life stage, we have different needs and different ways of processing things. And then you're working with younger people that are seeing things through a different lens. So you're right, there's gonna be some differences there. But as the leader, you know, I'm gonna have a little bit of a gentler approach because I've had those years of wisdom. And sometimes when we have that years of wisdom, we don't always come across as being empathetic and gentle all the time. So I'm just trying to help them with that balance so that they can appeal to the younger workforce that's also looking up to them and also modeling after them. So we are just aware that we have so many different age ranges that we can all learn from each other.

SPEAKER_01 24:00

It's amazing. Oh my gosh. Okay, so I've got so many more questions, but I'm gonna have to end this. So our last question here: where can we find you on socials, websites? Tell us a little bit about how to find you.

SPEAKER_00 24:12

Well, I have an amazing following on my business profile, LinkedIn, and you can reach me under my name, Alethea Kador. I have almost close to 4,000 people that are following me as an industry leader in mental health and organizations. So please reach out to me. I'm doing some amazing workshops. So if that's something that you would like for your organization in wellness, then you can connect with me on Instagram at Minds I Like, and we are expanding into a wellness hub. So then we will be connecting with other wellness professionals that you can tap into and also connect with. If that's something that young people want to do to aspire to be a wellness practitioner in yoga, reike, psychotherapy, child and youth care, they can tap into the hub and connect with me. And again, if they want to email me, it's alethia at minds I like.com and minds I like wellness foundation.

SPEAKER_01 25:15

Very cool. And I'm gonna, for our listeners, I'm gonna spell out your uh name. It's A-L-E-T-H-I-A, and Kidor is C A D O R E. What else do you have to tell us?

SPEAKER_00 25:28

Oh, yes, and also I have my six-week mindful mastery coming up. And if you could see it, I'm an author now, and you can get my book on Amazon. But it's mindful mastery, your journey to stress-free living and emotional resilience. So I'm teaching you how to tap into those emotions and reduce your stress and apply mindfulness all through your journey of being with like-minded individuals. So if you want to be in a group, reach out to me and we'll be starting first week in January.

Growing Young Leaders With Soft Skills

SPEAKER_01 26:02

Thank you so much for joining us today, Alethea. And for all those listening, I'm Jessica Soudine again, and thank you for taking the time to lean in to learn.