Connect Canyons
Learning is about making connections, and we invite you to learn and connect with us. Connect Canyons is a show about what we teach in Canyons District, how we teach, and why. We get up close and personal with some of the people who make our schools great: students, teachers, principals, parents, and more. We meet national experts, too. And we spotlight the “connection makers” — personalities, programs and prospects — we find compelling and inspiring.
Connect Canyons
Ep 139: A Culture of Kindness: Canyons’ Approach to Preventing Bullying
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October is officially recognized nationwide as Bullying Prevention Month, a time when schools, families, and communities unite under a common goal, ensuring that every single student feels safe, valued, and connected when they walk through the doors of every school in Canyons School District.
"Middle school is difficult,” Eric Garder, principal of Albion Middle School said in a recent episode of Connect Canyons. “It is difficult to transition, and it's that time in life that you're making new friends, losing old friends, navigating some social things. And so we just try to make it as a positive environment as possible for the kids every day.”
Welcome To Connect Canyons
SPEAKER_02Welcome to Connect Canyons, a podcast sponsored by Canyon School District. This is a show about what we teach, how we teach, and why we get up close and personal with some of the people who make our schools great. Students, teachers, principals, parents, and more. We meet national experts too. Learning is about making connections. So connect with us.
SPEAKER_03Welcome back to Connect Canyons, a podcast where we talk about the issues, programs, and people shaping Canyon School District. I'm your host, Stephanie Christensen.
Why Bullying Prevention Matters
SPEAKER_03October is officially recognized nationwide as Bullying Convention Month, a time when schools, families, and communities unite under a common goal, ensuring that every single student feels safe, valued, and connected when they walk through our doors. When we talk about bullying, the numbers can be sobering. Data from the Utah State Board of Education and National Health Trackers show that roughly one in five students, or about 20% of youth, experience bullying during a given school year. And in our digital age, it doesn't just stop when the final school bell rings. It often spills over in unstructured environments and online spaces. But behind those statistics are real students, real classrooms, and real educators who are working proactively every single day to change the narrative. Bullying prevention isn't about stopping harmful behavior after it happens. It's about building a culture of empathy, clear reporting systems, and strong upstander interventions. To help us dive into what's happening on the ground in our middle schools, we are joined by Principal Eric Gardner from Albion Middle School. Hey-O! And JC Wickham, a school counselor at Mount Jordan Middle School.
SPEAKER_01Hello.
SPEAKER_03Thank you guys so much for joining us. We all know that middle school, from our own experiences, can be a really rough place to be for bullying and just for getting to know who you are.
Setting The Tone At School
SPEAKER_03Eric, when we look at middle schools, a time of immense growth and social change and dynamics and transition, how does Album actively set positive tone so that kids can prevent bullying before it even starts?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you know, it's interesting. You have tons of parents come in, and one of the things that I almost never hear is, man, middle school was the best time of my life. Very few people feel that way. So with that said, recognizing that it is so difficult, man, I really do try to make sure that every day, anyone that walks in those front doors feels welcome. Like it's going to be a great day. And so we start all the way from drop off. I'm out there with another assistant principal and we try to greet every kid. Hey, hello, how's your day? You know, kick them off on a right thing. We've tried to update our messaging and displays as the kids even walk into school just so that they can start off and feel like it's already a positive day coming in. Because middle school is difficult. It is difficult to transition, and it's that time in life that you're making new friends, losing old friends, navigating some social things. And so we just try to make it as a positive environment as possible for the kids every day.
SPEAKER_03And every single positive touch point is shown to just be so helpful in that.
PBIS And Catching Kids Being Kind
SPEAKER_03JC, from a school counseling perspective, what does a healthy connected school climate look like and feel like in a day-to-day basis? And what do things like PBIS do to help with that? And can you kind of explain to people what PBIS is? Because I know sometimes we throw out PBI and the parents are like, what the heck are those letters?
SPEAKER_01Uh-huh. It's the positive behavior, like recognizing it and rewarding it and everything like that. So, and I think like uh uh Mount Jordan right now, too, we're trying to be really intentional. So we have a caught being kind that we're doing, and so kids can nominate or staff can nominate kids that have done random acts of kindness towards them or that they witnessed or experienced, but being really intentional about being kind towards others and recognizing it, like because a small act of kindness can also make change a day for a kid. And so when kids also do that, we try and reward them through PBIS points as well that they can spend at the market also PBIS activities to recognize students, and I think that helps kids feel like they have opportunities to connect with peers and feel like they belong and just have a a fun experience at school too. But I think overall helping kids feel connected to the school and feel like they have people that care about them and notice them and notice that their efforts, because middle school's hard, is huge.
Everyday Kindness Kids Notice
SPEAKER_03I think sometimes too, as a parent, I know when I send my kids off to school, sometimes you see it and you think, oh my gosh, it's a big scary place and everybody's mean. What are you guys seeing? Because you're saying that you're seeing these kind things. What kind of kind things are you seeing? Because I think it's important to note that there there really are kind kids out there. It's not just I'm trying to think of that show, the cheese touch middle schooler. Oh, diary of a women. It's not just all that kind of behavior where everybody's getting teased about being cheese touched.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I think that's kind it's been really fun to see the nominations come through because I think all of us as humans, we automatically want to see the negative for whatever reason, and it's unhelpful, but again, trying to pay attention to those small acts, even and just that there is a lot of kindness happening. Like there was a cute one, for example, where the kid didn't know how to tie their shoe and someone had come up discreetly and helped him tie it, so they didn't have to be humiliated or embarrassed that I'm in middle school and I don't know how I'm gonna tie my shoe, which is probably actually normal right now because there's lots of Velcro kid shoes, you know. But those little things and noticing them, I think, yeah.
SPEAKER_03That's really beautiful to think that like kids are smart enough to know that you have to be subtle about it too. So that you know, you don't have to always get the credit for being kind too.
SPEAKER_01Right, yeah. They're just being kind and hopefully they feel that internally as well, just that it feels good to be kind, and I would hope someone did that for me too, you know, that empathy.
SPEAKER_00And let me add on to what JC's saying, you know, we put so much stock into when something bad happens, but if you were to calculate it, there are a hundred good things that happen every day in the school to one bad thing. And if if you focus on the good though and make that mindset shift, there really are so many good kids doing so many great things every day that just go unnoticed and they don't get recognized. And that's where I love some of this PBIS stuff where we can hopefully recognize those kids.
SPEAKER_03There's that quote about a smile being contagious, and I really think that that's the same with kindness, and that when we recognize that with the kids, they're gonna realize that the bullying behavior isn't a cool thing. That like even though online sometimes those behaviors are given likes and everything, that in the real world that's not the thing that people are gonna want to be friends with you for because it might get likes online, but it's not getting likes in in real life.
SPEAKER_01Right, yeah, those long-term healthy relationships, yeah.
Cyberbullying And Defining Bullying
SPEAKER_03Speaking of online, the digital shift, like when we were I'm older than both of you guys, but when I was a kid, we didn't have to worry about going home and having beyond the playground that sort of bullying happen. How do we deal with that digital change? Because really that's that's a big issue with bullying. First, probably we should define what is bullying, because when something is reported as bullying, how how do you how do you approach it and how do you define if it is bullying or if it's something else? Because sometimes I think that might get a little blown out of proportion.
SPEAKER_00I don't know if that's the kind way to say it or a lot of us have posters in our office that kind of go to this. And the first one that's on there is when someone does something unintentionally and it offends you or hurts your feelings, it's quote unquote rude. When someone does or says something that intentionally hurts your feelings one time, that's quote unquote mean. And then the one that we try to teach kids is when someone's saying and doing something intentionally repeatedly after you've asked them to stop multiple times, that's when we get into bullying. And I think both students and parents, that could be kind of hard. And I'd say schools struggle with this a little bit because, you know, we often hear about things one time and you know, they'll say it's bullying, but it's not because it's only happened one time. And so we try to work them through that process of, you know, that was rude or mean this time. How can we navigate or resolve that situation? But it's not lost on schools. We were actually talking this morning back at my school. I also recognize that things happen outside of school, and sometimes these situations have been going on for a while, and while maybe it hasn't been reported to the school, too, that could be difficult for us to manage maybe something that's been going on in the community for a while, but hasn't exactly gone off in school yet. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Got something to add to the We have the same conversations at Mount Jordan, the the rude versus mean versus bullying. And honestly, too, it's great to have those conversations with the kids one-on-one too. If they do come down and they're offended, being able to talk with them, like, yeah, that sounds like it was really hurtful. But then allowing them to like also, like with restorative circles and things like that, like sometimes the other kid doesn't know what they were doing was hurtful to you, and they're actually really apologetic after, and so it's good conversations too, so they can kind of see whole picture, and obviously, yeah, if it escalates to the repeated stuff, then we try and take it very seriously just to make sure kids do feel supported and safe
Restorative Circles For Conflict
SPEAKER_01at school.
SPEAKER_03What is a restorative circle?
SPEAKER_01So, like if there is conflict between students, maybe just two or multiple, we will do a restorative circle just to kind of help kids see all sides and like how we don't need to like rehash out the problem, but help kids understand how what the action did affected them and to try and come up with a solution to help them problem solve and work together or see both sides or see how we can move forward just to resolve the conflict, whatever the beef is between them all.
SPEAKER_03So it is difficult when it continues outside of school with it being digital and continuing that way. And they often say kids won't report bullying because they are afraid that either there'll be retaliation or nothing will be done. How as an administration and as a counselor, how do you approach that to create it so that kids feel like, yeah, something will be done and we can help you?
SPEAKER_00You want to go first, sure.
SPEAKER_01I mean, for me in my role, I just I try and like come from a place of accolating the student. Like, I'm really proud of you, and I think this is really courageous that you're reporting and letting us know that something's happening that shouldn't be happening towards you, or because some chances are sometimes if it's happening towards you, it's happening towards others, and you're the one standing up for yourself and others, and I think that's a really great skill and something you should be doing. So I try and help build them up that way. I mean, still there's that fear sometimes. So then we talk through like, okay, if this kid did retaliate, what could we do next then to make sure you we continue to address the problem so it does ultimately get squashed whatever's happening? But trying to build them up.
SPEAKER_00I really try to teach them like the process, especially the sixth graders. So I always tell any of them I don't want them to suffer in silence. And so when these things do come up, you know, who who should you go to first? Is it your parents, you know? Uh is it a trusted teacher in the building? Is it one of the administration? Or if you feel uncomfortable with any of that, there's some pretty good tools out there like Safe UT that you can report things through there. And so I just really try to sit down with those kids and lay out or map out a plan for them so they can let us know about these things so they could get some help.
What Happens After A Report
SPEAKER_03Okay, so walk us through the process. When a student or a parent reports bullying incident, what is the immediate protocol? What does an effective intervention look like for both the student and that was targeted in the student who that is the well, I don't want to say bully, but who's exhibiting hurtful behavior?
SPEAKER_00So we always start with an investigation. So usually you have the parent and the student there in front of you or the student, and so we have them fill out some witness statements, collect information about what's going on, and then as administrators, we'll usually look into it, maybe possibly talk to some others who might have witnessed it or been around it or have any knowledge of it. If it's going on online, usually we'll say, Do you have screenshots of that that you can show us? And then once we have that side of the story, there's always two sides to a story. So then we try to be very unbiased and talk to the other side and kind of see what's going on. And in anything that's bullying, we always make sure we contact both sides so both sets of parents and families kind of understand what's going on. And then, you know, based on those findings, if it does come out it's bullying, there are certain district protocols that we follow and consequences that are laid out for that. And then if it's not bullying, you know, and maybe it's a single offense, we'll loop the counselors in, we'll try to do some skill building with the kids, some conflict resolution, find some way of taking care of it. And then let me jump back to the other one. If it is bullying too, there's certain safety measures you can put into place to try to prevent it as much as possible as well.
Building Upstanders With SafeUT
SPEAKER_03JC, research shows that bystanders' intervention stops bullying and it significantly by a significant percentage. How do you empower upstanders to help with passive bystanders to prevent passive bystanders so that we have kids that know if I see something, I should say something. How are you creating like a culture so that kids really know, hey, I can help?
SPEAKER_01I think like what Eric said earlier, too, helping kids know who what adults in the building they trust and know they can go to, so they can go to someone they feel comfortable being like, hey, I noticed this happening. Or Safe U T is also a really good tool we promote a lot in I think our schools and I'm sure all the schools, because students can submit tips anonymously, so if they're feeling nervous, but also just letting them know that that shows that they're a safe friend and you know they're gonna have people who have their back, you know.
Signs Your Child Might Be Struggling
SPEAKER_03For both of you, what are some signs that you can as a parent look for that you you might suspect if a kid's struggling and might be signs that they're being bullied? Because often I think kids do kind of they're ashamed that it's happening and they might not tell you and you really do want to get to it before it gets to a dangerous level. What are some signs that that is going on?
SPEAKER_01I feel like we've noticed like attendance could be a sign if they're not wanting to go to school or they're having stomach aches or trying to find any excuse to not go to school, or just that avoiding anxiety just increasing, stomach ache, headaches, or withdrawing a little bit too, maybe. Just but I honestly think too having that open communication with your kid, knowing your kids circle their friend group and constantly checking in with them, how's school? Like, you know, did anything hard happen today? Anything good happened today, just talking with them. Um, and so the kids know that oh, I can talk to you about this and or this is going on, you're just in the loop, you're aware.
SPEAKER_00I'll add on to that that we at least try to make middle school that can look a a lot bigger than elementary school, it's a big group of kids. We try to make it as small as possible, and so you know, we do teaming, so all the kids are on teams in middle schools and things like that. We're constantly encouraging the teachers to check in on them. As staff, we're out at lunches and we're in the hallways at packing times, so that hopefully at some point to go back to your original question, the number one sign for me that something's wrong is I'll say something to that kid, like, how's your day going? And they'll just tears. That that's the number one. I just had one yesterday that I lunch was ending. I said something to him, how was lunch today? And the kid just starts crying, and it just breaks your heart, right? Because you you can see in that kid's face that he's been internalizing this for days or weeks, and you're like, come with me, let me help you. And so that'd be the one thing that, man, I wish I could just grab all these kids is to say, we love you. There's a whole building of adults in here that just will do anything to help you. Don't suffer in silence, kid. Let us know. And so unfortunately, it gets to tears sometimes, but I wish it didn't have to.
Parent Takeaways And Tech Check Ins
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it is heartbreaking. As we observe Bullying Prevention Month this October, what is one of the key uh takeaways that you want Kenyon's parents to know?
SPEAKER_00A big one for me would just be check in regularly with your kids, and I would add, and also your kids' technology. And so uh, you know, ask them every day when they get home, how was your day? You know, tell me the best thing, tell me the worst thing. Maybe just try to get a feel for it that way. But then parents should, and I know that some parents will say they're trying to find a balance of trust with their kids, but I would encourage parents to, you know, it'd be like giving your 16-year-old keys to the car and never checking on them again driving. You know, don't do that with technology. Check in on them, see what's going on and have a feel for maybe whatever they're doing digitally as well.
SPEAKER_03I was just watching Ted Lasso and I loved one of the ways that he framed it. He asked his son what was a thorn and what was a rose from the day. Yeah. And I actually applied that because it is so hard to get your kids to talk sometimes. Sometimes you ask them about their day, and you just get, oh, it's good. So I I applied it for my daughter who's a ninth grader. And I was like, what was a thorn or a rose? And she gave me some really it turned into some really cute conversation about she had fallen in her drama class. She was like, It was a thorn. But she goes, actually, it was kind of a rose too, because it was funny. And I got talking to some friends and it turned into a great, it evolved into a great like full day discussion. Like she gave me so much more than Yeah, it was good. Which, you know, just framing it in a different way that day opened up so much more than it's fine. Yeah, the one-word answer. Yeah, because so often I get the one-word answer before, hey, can I go to my friend's house? Yeah. So because it is so hard to get them to open.
SPEAKER_01I know. We we've done the like high low buffalo too, like a hi for your day, hello and something random, but those just leaving it open-ended, I think, creates good dialogue usually too. But I would second what Eric said too is just monitoring and checking in on your kids digitally as well. And I feel like sometimes too, knowing your kids' friend group and circle, because I feel like peer influence is huge too at this age, and so they're surrounded by peers with like similar values and you know, are making the same choices that you want to make and not putting you in any peer pressure situations and stuff like that. But knowing your kids' friend group too, I think can make a big difference and knowing what's going on and what they're being exposed to, what they're doing, all those things.
District Resources And Next Steps
SPEAKER_03So, one of the things that I've loved, I've worked for Canyons for a while now, is that before I I worked here, I didn't realize how many resources are open to parents for when there is a problem. I'm so glad that you guys came in today so that parents know that there are school counselors that if there is a bullying situation, you can go in to your principal and that there's a conversation that is pretty open that they'll be able to facilitate help and that the counselors are there for your children, and there's a lot of resources. There's safe UTE, there's so many things that when you're just a parent out there, you at first you don't realize all the tools that are available. And there's we have our Canyons Family Center. Family Center, we have classes, we have so many things to help you, and um we're always here. If you need something, reach out to the administrators because whatever we can do to help in a situation, there's some way we'll find a way to help in any way, because this is a partnership between the district, your administrators, your school. We're all here to just make sure that kids are happy and healthy and learning. Because the only way they're gonna be able to learn is if they're happy. So thank you guys so much for coming and talking about bullying
Book Picks And Closing
SPEAKER_03today. Um, we have one question we've been asking everybody because of the literacy push. Are you reading a book right now, or what's your favorite book?
SPEAKER_01I'm currently reading um Educated by Tara West right now. Yeah. That's a good one. Um but I'd have to ponder my favorite book for a minute.
SPEAKER_03That's a rough one, isn't it?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that is.
SPEAKER_00Okay. I'm currently reading Atomic Habits. I'm trying to make some small little changes, and that book is just absolutely fantastic. And my favorite book we actually just did for Governor Cox's Literacy Day, it's called The Little Brute Family. So if you're listening to this, you should look it up. And it's all about this little troll family that everything's awful to them, and but then they kind of start thinking more positively. And at the end of the book, well, I don't want to spoil it. So, anyways, it's my favorite book, and so I read it to the kids on that day. And so the Little Brute Family, highly recommend.
SPEAKER_03Perfect. Thank you guys so much. If you want to catch up on any past episodes of Connect Canyons, visit our website. And if you have any ideas for future podcasts, you can send them to us at communications at Canyon Schooldistrict.org.
SPEAKER_02Thanks for listening to this episode of Connect Canyons. Connect with us on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram at Canyons District or on our website, CanyonsDistrict.org.
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