Living Left

Silly On Purpose

• Ann-Marie Burton, Tanya Garcia • Season 1 • Episode 3

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We show how a goofy costume night turned into a masterclass on permission, play, and belonging. Dressing as Helen Roper becomes a shortcut to ease nerves, widen the circle, and remember that owning what’s left can start with choosing joy on purpose.

• redefining success as owning what’s left
• why costumes lower inhibition and spark connection
• adult play as a tool for confidence and relief
• the difference between belonging and connection
• easing social anxiety with prescribed fun
• inviting more voices by lowering creative burden
• honoring humor as a practiced skill for women
• practical ways to schedule silly and keep it easy

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Because what’s left isn’t less. It’s everything.

SPEAKER_01:

Christy Living Left, the space where we redefine success, purpose, and identity through honest, unfiltered conversation. It's not about finding what's next. It's about owning what's left. We're navigating business, family, change, chaos, and figuring out life. One left turn at a time. The rules? There aren't any. The raw talk between friends, honest, messy, necessary. Let's go there. Hi, Tanya. Or should I call you hi Helen? Hey, Helen, Roper. How are ya? This is gonna be the very best podcast. I think so. Because we just look hilarious. Love it. Why are we dressed like this? We're dressed like this because we went out to a hilarious costume fundraiser event on the weekend. We sure did. This is Roper event 2.0. We did it last year too.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, we did. Burlington. What is it? Burlington helping Burlington.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, there's Vault, there's a few uh DRWU, a few other charities that were included. But um for those of us who are anyone who's watching and thinking, what are these get ups? First of all, then you're too young because she was Helen Roper is a character from uh Three's Company. I think I have part of my wig is in my face.

SPEAKER_00:

People will know, certainly know, well, you would think John Rick.

SPEAKER_01:

Not everybody knows. So Helen Roper is a hilarious middle-aged character in a very dated sitcom called Three's Company, which aired in like the 70s and 80s, but for our age, we watched it on reruns after school, and she's like a middle-aged character married to a kind of stodgy old man who's boring named Stanley, and they are the landlords in the building. But she is kind of this midlife woman who's actually at the time. I when I watched her, I didn't realize how sexy she kind of was and how she was really very on edge and quite modern in her approach to things, but that was kind of like the whole Stanley just wanted to just minimize her. That was really the point. Anyway, so she's this character that has be made this kind of funny costume-themed re like resurgence, and middle-aged women like us are dressing up like her and going to events, and this was come to this fundraiser dressed as this. So we gathered like a dozen friends and we got together and all went as a group, and there's like a hundred ropers in the place, so it's like a super silly event, and yeah, and we went last year and we went again, right? And so, why did you want to go for the second year? Like we already did it the first year. I have my thoughts, but why did you want to do it again?

SPEAKER_00:

Uh, well, because I had so much fun the first time around. Um, I wanted to do it uh A to support you and support a good cause, but mainly the freedom you get from like just having everyone dress up. I remember that feeling and I felt it again because actually I walked into a group not knowing a lot of people. Like I'm actually what I would consider maybe one of the outsiders in that this group of friends have ties that I don't necessarily have ties with, which is typically not an issue for me. Um, anyway, you have ties to me. You have ties to me. I have ties to you, I have ties to you. Um, but there is a greater intersect of this group of women. So I'm kind of just coming in because you invited me and I always say yes to things. Um, but what I love about it is when you dress everyone up in these costumes, there's a level of freedom and inhibition that takes away any nervousness around, you know, meeting new people and having conversations. Um, and I just remember that feeling the first time, and I got it was the same the second time. It just allows people to just throw away any kind of concerns or nerves or whatever, and you're just being silly together, and it is a great way to connect. I guess a good point.

SPEAKER_01:

It's like you have freedom to be yourself, yes, because you're kind of hidden in this crazy costume, which would be interesting to say, like if we were all dressed up like as Elmo or all dressed up as bananas, yeah. The same, maybe. But there's something about Helen Roper and her freedom of spirit, and these Kafkins, as we all were like, we should wear these all the time, they're so comfortable, and they're just it's like wearing pajamas, or and you get to accessorize, and like I don't have my makeup on, but you can do your makeup in a fun way. Like it just is don't even have to do your hair, just put this thing on, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And I do think there's a camaraderie in the like again, belonging is so important to people, like so many people talk about that, and I do believe that there's something about that. Um, so as again, midlife women, you know, we're all the same age. What was anywhere from what 47, 48? Maybe there was some.

SPEAKER_01:

I would say the whole group was kind of between 45 and 55.

SPEAKER_00:

Exactly. Um, roughly, there's just this beauty of just being silly. Like as adults, when do we get to be fun and silly? It's like what I say about running. When's the last time you've just sprinted somewhere? Like you just there's certain things as adults you don't do anymore. Like you don't, right?

SPEAKER_01:

And that's a really good point. I remember Megan, my youngest, once asked me, she was like, When's your favorite time to twirl? And I was like, What? When's my favorite time to twirl? And that was an era when she wore a tutu everywhere, like she wore dresses and two. Where's your favorite place to twirl? And I thought, I don't like twirl.

SPEAKER_00:

I don't twirl.

SPEAKER_01:

I should try twirling or skipping.

SPEAKER_00:

When have you skipped?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I don't skip. I maybe skip to the mailbox and everyone makes fun of me. Well, once maybe, but you're right, it's like being silly. Yes, silly is the key. Being silly in our life, which is super most people's grown-up life is very organized and rigor, and you know, you hustle from point A to point B and you're doing things for other people. Being silly, being silly to any is kind of like your left turn in life, actually. Like every our whole life is full of right turns of like do this, do this, do this.

SPEAKER_00:

And then you I have to behave this way, and I have to do this. And now I'm just gonna have fun for the sake of having fun. Yeah. Yeah. It's fun to have fun, it's fun to have fun, and like really have legitimate fun. And I think that's the difference with dressing up. It's it's it just takes the fun to another level. I mean, getting together with a bunch of women, you know, eating food, cheese, and drinking wine and tequila. Like yes, it's recording. Is it okay? Sorry. You see, I was like, I don't know. Yeah, it's recording. Okay, sorry, go ahead. That was a great that was a great sentence. Sorry, sending on like I don't know. I was saying getting together with women, eating cheese and drinking tequila is not not regular, like we do that, but layer it in, layer it in with something that's a little different and silly and fun just takes it to the next level. So I highly recommend. I just don't think, and as women in particular, that we just have silly flippin' fun as much as we could. We do for our children, we do for our, you know, other people, but just for yourself. That's what I love about it. It was just, it's just fun.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't think I've laughed as hard as I've laughed. Like last year was the big year because we all it was the first time we're all dressing up in this, and you think, what the heck is this? Yeah, I didn't stop laughing the whole night. Yeah. Last this weekend, I laughed almost as much, only a smidgen because it felt more normal. Yeah, it's a lot of things. Like a little bit, I was like used to you in a crazy orange wig. Where last year, uh every time I looked at somebody, I just couldn't stop my name because it's outrageously silly. And I wanted to walk around feeling that freedom and just hilariousness all the time, all week. And this week I felt the same. I left this on my dining room table, and I was just like, maybe I should put this on.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, it could be your alter ego.

SPEAKER_01:

It's maybe all of our alter egos. And that's like I mean, I really think Helen was on to something, and we just were too young when we watched the show to get her wisdom. Of course. I wonder what our mothers thought. Yeah, and I feel like maybe we are just really uh realizing our own wisdom as we get a bit older. I would agree. Maybe we're all Helens, just maybe we just have a center part instead of this.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I would agree. Like I would agree.

SPEAKER_01:

That is maybe gonna be the mantra of living left, Daniel. Finding your in inner Helen, yes, in a modern way. Like she, there were some things she did that maybe aren't perfect for today for 2025, but like finding your inner confidence and inner fun and sense of humor, like you're finding your sense of humor. Like, again, I know a lot of funny women, but when you think about it, you know, more funny men. Men have been provided maybe more space in their life to practice that humor, or it's more appreciated. Not always, like, I don't know, maybe I'm or maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like I don't know.

SPEAKER_00:

I have I'm thinking about that comment.

SPEAKER_01:

More men I know are funny than women are funny. Oh, you need more funny women in your life. That room was full of funny women. That totally was, but they were full of funny ropers.

SPEAKER_00:

My point is So are you thinking they're not that way when they're not wearing the costume?

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, I'm not saying they're not funny. I'm not I like funny people, so I do.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm not saying they're not funny. I'm meaning like the yes, maybe it's the inhibition. It allows you to just be more to step outside of the shackles that you know, society and life and expectations are put on you when you put on a costume, it's permission to just let go and be whoever that's.

SPEAKER_01:

Maybe you wouldn't normally say. Yeah. I don't know. I might have to do a little thinking on that thought of sentence. That's a good thought for every for all of us, actually.

SPEAKER_00:

So, what's our net net? This one's a good. So, our net net is is is don't be afraid to just have some silly fun.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, silly fun. Like, I love a costume party. I mean, anyone who knows me knows that, yeah, like I I have hosted many a costume party. I enjoy a costume party, but this is like what like when I turned 40, we had a big toga party. It was fun, but when people came to the door, I was not doubling over laughing at the toga. It wasn't so outrageous. This is outrageous, this is hilarious.

SPEAKER_00:

And I will go one step further as I do not love a costume party where I have to think of something clever to be. I am not that person, and I know there's people out there who's like, that's just one extra thing. Like when the kids had theme days and ridiculous, like I was like, are you flipping kidding me? I have to get creative. But what I love about this is there's a preption to it. There's like, so I'm with you. I can be a themed costume as long as there's very structured, I don't have to think about it. I just have to go and order it and or put it together with what I have.

SPEAKER_01:

So you would really like to do the Santa Claus pub crawl that I want to plan because you're like, give me the Santa Claus. Don't tell me just be whatever you want.

SPEAKER_00:

Be whatever you want. Like that brings me great anxiety. On top of everything else, I have to think about what to make for dinner and the costume I'm gonna wear. Like, I don't have time for that.

SPEAKER_01:

I just go to the tickle truck. See that? I mean, really interesting point people like it's very valid. I think your point is very valid. Like, so some people are like, that sounds too much for me. And then they have to buy into the idea of that they're gonna have so much fun, so they just opt out entirely. Other people are like, let me show off my creativity, and then there's some people weren't just about this prescription costume.

SPEAKER_00:

I agreed. Some people weren't Mrs. Ropers. There were Stanley's there, there were Chrissy's there. Like, some people went one step further, and that's great. But this I think is mass um connection because even me as the like lowest common denominator in the wanting to creatively come up with something was very easy for me to do. I mean, you bought my costume, so that made it even easier, but I could have done it, it was much easier. So I loved it. Oh, I didn't thought about that. He did. I think the biggest thing. And my ticket.

SPEAKER_01:

So like you made it very made you go. You're coming.

SPEAKER_00:

I just thought no discussion. My favorite thing when people just do the things and go, you want to come?

SPEAKER_01:

Absolutely. I'll be there. What time? Just do it all for me. I just have to show up. Totally. But I'm gonna say, as we we should probably, I'm not sure how long we can wrap up, but we should probably wrap up. But I'm thinking the biggest piece, two things I'm coming out of this one with, and I'm have some thoughts on next conversations, sure, is that it's really important for us to be silly more often and like let ourselves be and go in that direction. Like honestly, have some true fun, like where there's really laughing and there's really just good vibes. And the second thing you said about belonging, and that is a theme I think we need to talk about more in Living Left, is that that's really like I think everyone's human goal is to belong and connection, and those are actually a little bit different than they're not exactly the same. Connection and belonging. I know I see connection. A hundred percent they're not desperately.

SPEAKER_00:

I want to belong. That's a very key. And I think it's it's hard, it's it's a point where as women at a certain age where your identity has been mostly catering to other things and people, this idea of belonging can be a not so easy task because you're trying to figure out who am I in this next left turn? Like who who do I want to be? Where do I want to belong? Who are my people? Yeah, and where you've belonged in the past might not be where you're gonna belong in the next decade. But you stick on this costume and you know exactly where you belong for three to four hours. It was amazing. Oh true.

SPEAKER_01:

He's in love for Helen Roper. I love her.

SPEAKER_00:

I love her.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, I don't and who knows if that's even what she wanted to be, but we've decided this is who she is. Yes, it works. I love it. All right, awesome. All right, Helen. Yeah, see you later, Helen. We gotta get back to work. We do. I want to show up to the next video.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm totally showing up to the next meeting like this. Have a good one. Okay, bye. Bye. If you felt this one, share it. Because what's left isn't left. It's everything.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm like, why are you very good?