Living Left

How Mahjong Can Spark a Community

• Ann-Marie Burton, Tanya Garcia

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0:00 | 59:24

We learn traditional mahjong with our longtime friend Anita and uncover why a simple game can rebuild community in midlife. Tiles lead to stories, culture, and a practical blueprint for hosting low-pressure gatherings that spark real connection.

• Roots of a 30-year friendship and why cadence keeps bonds strong
• Why mahjong lowers social anxiety and invites everyone in
• Anita’s heritage and learning traditional Hong Kong rules
• American vs traditional differences and what to teach first
• Hosting tactics that mix worlds and create instant rapport
• How table dynamics reveal learning styles and strengths
• Women’s face-to-face bonding and midlife community needs
• Pricing, group sizes, and formats for sustainable meetups
• Turning a one-off night into a recurring circle

Find Anita on Instagram at Mahjong Nights


Follow Living Left for bold conversations by women for women on business, creativity, and comeback energy.

Find us on Instagram @living_left_​​

Because what’s left isn’t less. It’s everything.

SPEAKER_01:

Hey. Good morning. Good morning. Yay. We have another guest today, Tanya. And if you're watching, you can see the square, but if you're not watching, you don't know who we have. So we those of us, you know, it's living left. We're exploring our lives and doing things differently, and we're having fun. And in classic scenario, we had a really fun night. So we're like, we need to plan a podcast for tomorrow because we knew in advance it would be a fun night. So we have brought on one of my friends who I've had for 30 years. Yeah, her name's Anita. And um Anita came and taught a whole crew of us how to play mahjong last night. So that's what we're gonna talk about. We're gonna talk about midlife mahjong and just mahjong and fun, why it's fun to get together with your friends. And we're gonna chittel like talk a little bit about last night. And I have thoughts. I have so many thoughts. So I just I interrupted you. So you said hi, Nita.

SPEAKER_00:

Everyone's here. Hello, everybody. So how did like do you see my face? Because I don't see my face.

SPEAKER_01:

So if you watch on I see your face. You do, yeah, you're there. Don't worry.

SPEAKER_00:

So it pop up. Don't worry, Anita, you are there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

If any of our friends are who are listening, so first of all, maybe people need to know this because if you listen to us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, you just listen. But then we loaded everything up onto YouTube. Um, so now you can find season one and season two, and you can watch. And if you're watching on YouTube when you're talking, the box comes in.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, sounds good.

SPEAKER_01:

So we're recording, we can see ourselves, but when they watch. So if you want to see, like for example, I brought with me some mahjong tiles to show people if they have a on uh anyway. I brought one of each one of the signs or whatever. Um excellent, but it really doesn't matter because most people will listen. So okay. All right, take a look. I'm also wearing my mahjong earrings. Not that you can see around mine.

SPEAKER_03:

I did, I wanted to comment on those last night that I like you're just so good with a theme. I love a theme. I wish I should address it.

SPEAKER_00:

I don't know what I would have worn, but now I'm in the earrings or socks.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, or socks.

SPEAKER_00:

I should have brought my mug.

SPEAKER_01:

See my mahjong one with the tiles on it. Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

I just love maybe branded. I don't know. Anyway, you should absolutely give me to the. Oh, I'll help you.

SPEAKER_01:

I can get you through Vistaprint and you can get it all done. Fuck the company to help me market. Yes, you should. Okay, I want to wait a second to remind everyone whose company, what company would that be if you wanted help with your marketing? Yay! Oh, left term that Tanya and I own. But this is and this is fun.

SPEAKER_03:

So Okay, so I'm gonna jump in because I think that you, you being and Marine Anita, need to, you did it really well last night, just to give context to our listeners. Um, you've had a long history of friendship, which I think is important to this podcast in itself of bringing women together. And then Anita, maybe just if you know, a little bit on what is mahjong and why do you play? And not like not in the details. It's just, I think, again, your narrative and story around it, I think is important. And then we can get into the fun we did yesterday. So I think we should start there. What do you think, Amory? That sounds perfect.

SPEAKER_01:

Thanks for hosting. That was amazing.

SPEAKER_03:

You're welcome. She always blames me that I don't host because I do kind of just let her ask the questions, but I'm gonna take control this morning. I love it. And then Amory and I will go back and forth. Yeah. Okay, perfect.

SPEAKER_00:

So Anita and I are friends from Laurier.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, go ahead. Right? 1994. We lived in Conrad residence, and we had a floor meeting on the very first day, and I was wearing Converse, and so was Anita. And I was like, Oh, that girl looks like I could be friends with her. Do you remember? You had Converse, Red Converse. Yep. And Mary would also lived across the hall diagonally. So um met at Laurier. Yeah, and there was like whatever, 25 girls on the floor, and six of us wound up living together with a boy. So seven of us in total. And yeah, and now we are 30 years later still friends. I love that. And we are friends. Oh, Anita. Oh, I one of the reasons I think that we were friends for so long is once we graduated, we got together on a regular cadence. So important. Yeah. So I think that that, like, and then of course people got married and we got into each other's wedding parties and blah blah blah, like and lives and all that. But those first few years after graduation, we weren't all in the same community or city, but we made the effort for our birthdays and gathered, and we had dinner parties in our random apartments, and we had no money. And that was part of the connection. So we've kept that friendship going for 30 years, and every time I see Anita, it's like I saw her yesterday, but I didn't.

SPEAKER_00:

So anyway, it definitely felt like it. I think I want to add one more element to this. So Anne Marie and I have a little bit more of a special bond because we had the unbelievable experience that we got to live together, just the two of us, one summer. Uh right after first year. So we created a bond that I think is really hard to uh replicate um when you have a large group. And whether it was just the quiet times that we spent together or the hilarious times that we spent together, um, girls. Hey, we don't need to. Um, but I think it's just one of those things where you have we talk about inside jokes and we talk about the bonding of it that I just think is so um, we're just so lucky that we have that extra little squeeze of um a relationship, even though we are in a pocket of a really strong um group of group of women, but we still have our individual things. I love that. And I'm lucky. Um I know that I'm very lucky to have that. Yes. Love you.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, before the mahjong last night walked up and gave her a kiss and you looked at me, and I was like, Well, I'm just so happy you're here. Like it's just sort sort of nice to bring your friends and intermix them and meet them, and you're like, I was just so happy she was there. Anyway, it made me happy.

SPEAKER_03:

That I think is part of the beauty of last night that I think we're gonna talk about is the bringing of worlds together. But I think it was important for the two of you to share that story because we talk a lot about the need for women in particular to um make continue with connection and it takes effort, right? Like it's using, I love how you said like it would. I feel so lucky to have had that time. Like there has to, there's this kind of appreciation, especially as we get older, when you think back in that time. Um, but going forward, it's important to continue that you connect with people that you love and you make the time. And that was what I think was very magical because Anita, I've heard so much about you all the time. I always get the oh my god, Tanya, you're like Anita. You're my Anita. And I was like, who is this woman? And I need to meet her because I think I love her already. And you're so lucky.

SPEAKER_00:

No, it's so lucky.

SPEAKER_03:

So okay, so then You are very similar.

SPEAKER_01:

You're very similar.

SPEAKER_03:

So then, so finally she brings you in to introduces us um to you, Anita, uh, around this contact, uh context of Mahjong. So talk to us a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, you know what I actually think is so cool. I was talking to a friend this morning and they were like, How was your night? And I said, Oh, I did this, this, this. And I was explaining how it was a business. And he said to me, he goes, Well, why would somebody want to pay to learn something? And I said, Well, it's actually not even about that. It was about the idea that we're building a community, right? And yeah, sure, there's a you know, a dollar in my pocket, but the idea and where the excitement comes from for me is watching communities come together, and then ideally communities grow after I leave. And I think that was the biggest goal of what I wanted this side hustle to be, or this um the love of mahjong that I have. I wanted to just bring it to other people. And then when I started to see, and we'll talk about this, I'm sure, about this whole trend of everyone talking about it. Um, I think I fundamentally knew the reason why. It wasn't the game, it was the idea that women, and we'll talk about men later, but women come together as friendships and have this very calming yet exciting game that they play. You sit around at the table of four, and you can play the game and socialize at the exact same time. You know, as we as we continue to learn, you'll be able to have that opportunity to, you know, play a little quicker. But if you can remember going back to last night, it was really about catching up with people, learning about new people. Amory did an amazing job about mixing people up, allowing them to have different relationships, building uh opportunities. And to me, that's that's exactly what it is. But it's the next step that is also so important to me is that building of the next community. I want you to now go and bring this to your set of friends that maybe weren't part of last night. I agree.

SPEAKER_03:

And I want yes, and then and you have to play and you have to continue to bring it together to really learn the game. Cause already I think that's was why I was up for an hour and a half last night. I was trying to remember the rules. And then I was like, wait, how many? And blah, blah, blah. And then I'm gonna buy a mahjong set, but do I know? No, I need anita. So I'm gonna bring her. Perfect. That was just playing with you actually in that last final um game was super helpful. Like it there is benefit to also playing with people who've done it before. Um, but I agree with you. I just have to for a minute, though, give a shout out to Amory because oh my God, you're so I love you so much. But I just don't think people really appreciate how special you are. We came, so I think the people in the in the 20 women were from different aspects of your life, which kudos to you. I mean, in bringing that, I know I'm a big fan of doing that too, and not everyone is comfortable kind of bringing people, but you're such a good host. We you had cards. So, of course, there was a sign seating, which already got me itchy because I was like, I don't know everyone. And of course, Anne-Marie's already warned a few of us who she knew would make itchy as okay, you're sitting here, but then we're gonna move you because this is Anne-Marie, change of perspective, what makes her special? But there was a card with our names, and only at the end did we flip it over, and there was literally your thought process as to why you brought us together. Like, like we three of the people grew up in Beaconsfield, so that's why I was sitting at the table. Two of the people were daredevils, and then you get into the whole it did help because then we're like daredevils, and I remember you saying, Oh my god, she jumped out of a plane over a thousand times. So I just think that Jesus. So, and then we talked, and and I'm digressing, but we're gonna come right back to you, Anita, in a second, because we were talking about what were the terms, Anne-Marie? The goers, the Oh, the throwers and the goers?

SPEAKER_01:

The throwers and the goers.

SPEAKER_03:

So Anne-Marie is the most amazing thrower. Like, you can't compete. Like, don't try to be as good as Anne-Marie, like just appreciate who she is. But I posted last night and I say this we are lucky, right, Anita, to have her in our orbit because there is no other person that is gonna like. I'm like, look, she had tables, she had snacks, everything was themed with red little items, like mats, like it was just kudos to you. Like it's not easy. And like your mom and a business owner and a daughter and all of those things. And then I'm like, when the fuck did she do this? Like, Jesus. And I love it so much. So thank you because I had a great time.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, you're welcome. I wish you all got to move to your second sets officially because your second sets are.

SPEAKER_02:

Why was I attached to?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, you were um, well, whatever the chart was, but I was like not everyone was finished at the same time I wanted to move. So then we just kind of said, okay, two from here and two here and switch, which would be a normal way to mix people up. But I had strategically in my head wanted some people to meet because I knew that they had other things in common. In common. You're so good that way. And as I like to learn about people, and I also I also thought in my head I was gonna tell all you guys that had that on the back of the card on your table. But then just the way the movement. It all worked.

SPEAKER_03:

We flipped it over, but I think the goer and the thrower is like if you have a thrower in your life, you have so Anita, a big theme of us, we're always like, just say yes. If someone invites you, say yes. And like for your business, that's the whole thing. People were anxious about this game, and you look so good at just calming and just saying, we're just gonna learn this part. Like, don't, and then as soon as you get in, you just say yes, because there was some anxiety in the room, right? Last night, as too. It was called a few people who were very nervous, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, very nervous, yeah. And they would actually come to me sidebar and just be like, I'm really nervous. And I'm just like, simple. It's so simple. You were so good. Starting with the basics.

SPEAKER_01:

You know what else made people nervous? It wasn't just the mahjong. So because there were there was um a chunk of people who knew each other through their kids, but then there was another half of the people who maybe knew one person or knew nobody, like you had Mel at your table who wouldn't know nobody. That I think was so I'm giving huge kudos to some of my friends who hate the large group. That's not their thing. If you had said it was four people that were gonna learn a game, they would have been happy. That was much more comfortable. 20 people, and then you don't know everybody, and they need to learn like all these Chinese characters. Like there was, I know that there was some like, I don't know, but I'm going on it. I'm doing this because you said it's fun. And I've and it's all over my Instagram feed, and I don't know when else I'm gonna learn this. So I think they came, and I don't think anyone didn't have fun. I think everyone I think everyone did.

SPEAKER_00:

I think everyone did, especially, and that's what I love about little group texts afterwards. It's just like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, and it's kind of funny to watch all that. So that's cool too, is just to still see the excitement. And again, Anne Marie, kudos to you that the excitement's gonna continue this weekend. And again, seeing that stuff, that is what brings me the joy. It brings me so much joy. And whether you play that day or not, which I know you will, it doesn't matter because you've created this community. It's an interest in a timeline, right?

SPEAKER_01:

Like, yeah, yeah. And what I also love about it, and what we've got to tell your story, but that um there were people in that group who are not what I would call game players, like they don't like cards, they're not really game people. Then there were some gamers, like Donna, Trish, like those are gamers, like they love games. I love games. Um, but some people that's not their thing. Um, and I know one person has sent me a note separately, and it was my little thing in the so I said a group chat that considered like like as an invitation, kind of that's and that's so there was some building in advance. Um, and in it I explained that I have a book club that's been running for 10 years. And in theory, I would love it if this kind of turned into something that we did on the regular basis. No expectation that it's gonna go on for a decade. If it does, that's just fun. That's an extra if it happens for the next six months, I'll be happy. Like if we just get together, but it doesn't have to be 20 people, just whoever. But it was one person sent me a message and said, I don't play games. I but I'm inspired by that idea of the repeat and gathering. So I'm coming just for that. So I think it's interesting what inspires, and we're also at again, it's midlife. Everybody I got a message this morning, Anita, from an old Laurier friend, um, kind of like acquaintance Laurier friend, who said, How did you learn that? I need some new things because my kid's graduating. Yes, everybody. I know. So I was like, okay, do you remember Anita? And anyway, I'm sure there'll be more like that just because of one post. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01:

Because we're all in similar ages and stages and our routines of seeing the same people at hockey practice or volleyball or whatever, or now not, because you're not doing that.

SPEAKER_00:

You know what? This is a great tip. Can I actually dive in off of that comment? Yes, please. So we talk about like how do people come up with concepts and so forth. So that's exactly oh, sorry, little puppy in the in the room. Uh so that's exactly how this started is uh we were part I was part of a uh a group of my friends um from my younger son's uh middle school. No, actually, sorry, even before middle school, elementary school. And we were playing, we were on the graduation committee and we were all sitting at grad party and all the volunteers, there were six of us, we're just sitting there, and we sadly looked at one another and we said, Is this it? Is this the end of the oh my god, that's so sad. And I had gone through that because I have an older son, uh, six years older, and we did. I lost every connection with people that I saw every day. Yes. We're just like, okay, well, you know, screw that. How are we gonna keep it? And I don't know how it got to this. And I said, Well, why don't we start a mahjong group? And I'll teach you guys how to play mahjong and we'll keep it going. And that was that was great. Six, seven, eight, nine, ten. That was four years ago.

SPEAKER_03:

Amazing.

SPEAKER_00:

And and we still meet, and I've now created these, and it's kind of funny, I've got these multiple different communities with my neighborhood, but then they started to cross over and they were like, excuse me, you're in another mahjong group, and I'm like, um, well, it's because I'm the teacher, you know. So there's an ongoing one that goes every Monday, and the people just sign up and someone will volunteer to host. And then I have the original crew, the ones that were of my uh my son's team. And and it's funny too, the kids don't talk, like they don't hang out anymore. No, but it's that's again the beauty of it. And so I see them once every, I don't know, let's say two to three months, and we get together. Sometimes we don't even play, honestly. We'll sit there, the game's in front of us, yeah, and we just catch up. So again, yeah, I love that about the game as well.

SPEAKER_01:

It's about that community feel. Yeah, I love that. And it's can I have a question on that? Because a book club is kind of the idea, but you have to read the book, so there's like homework. And then I feel other games, like if you say, let's to get to get together for euchre, like I've tried that, and people have a preconceived no, I don't like euchre. No, that's not my game. And they're missing the point of no, I just want to get to the other game. Yeah. So is there something maybe because um not everyone has been introduced to Mahjong, like it's having a moment at this time, and before this, it was kind of cultural, like you learned growing up. So we need to talk about that. But maybe it's because people have no experience with it. Agreed. That collectively they're like, oh, you don't know, I don't know. And they're not dismissing it before it started. Like they're not saying, meh, I don't like it, because they don't know if they don't like it. They haven't tried it, so they're more open-minded, they haven't closed their mind that that's not something I I don't, I don't do that. I don't like cards. And how can people say, I don't I don't even understand when people say I don't like cards? There's only seven million different ways to play cards. Like you don't like all of them? Like you dislike every card game. Like, really? I it's interesting to me. Why don't you like or why don't you like board board games? You dislike all of them? Like, I can see not liking Monopoly, but maybe you like experience.

SPEAKER_03:

So I think in someone who can go there, I think it's you've had a negative experience, or there's a fear base in that. And there is Amory.

SPEAKER_01:

What is the fear around? I don't know.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, I will tell I have a very distinct reason why. In my family, there was that, and it was highly competitive, and I didn't enjoy that. So that is what I know in my family of four that used to exist no longer exists. That is it. There that was highly competitive. I did not enjoy that. So I was the parent who just didn't play. It doesn't mean I don't enjoy it. Clearly, I played Euchre through universities, but I'd opt out because I was like, I don't want it was the dynamic, not necessarily the format or the function.

SPEAKER_01:

So it's the dynamic with 100% people or the competition.

SPEAKER_03:

So, Anita, I think that's a great kind of segue into so why give us some thoughts. Okay, first of all, why Mahjong? Give us your your kind of narrative and what your thoughts are on the beauty of this game.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, okay. So mine steps all the way back to like when I was four years old. So a little bit of um background. My mom was Chinese, born in Hong Kong. Her mother, so my grandmother, my maternal grandmother, uh came over to Canada in the early 70s. And my mom was currently studying nursing in Manchester, England. Uh, randomly was at a bar. We won't need to get into this, met my father, got married, had my sister in England, and then decided to immigrate to Canada because you know, my mother, my grandmother was there. Um, and then at the same time, my dad was able to get a transfer uh for a job. But what was interesting is that because now my mom, who was quite young, she was 23 when she had my sister, and then 25 when she had me. My dad was starting out in a new, you know, uh company and was trying to make as much money as possible. So my mom spent a lot of the time back in Toronto, and we're from London, uh in Toronto, in um her mother's home. So my sister actually uh can fully understand Chinese because she was just through osmosis just as she was growing up. Um and my grandmother doesn't speak a lick of English. So how I bonded with her was over mahjong. And I would go every summer, and my parents would literally drop me and my sister off for weeks at a time. And after dinner, every single night, the mahjong table came out, the tiles came out, and I beside her and played and it was the way that we communicated through games and we would do regular puzzles together we would play cards together she teach me purely with the action of the game not the words of the game and uh so I don't know if the love of the game came from the actual game or the connection I felt with my with my so that's kind of how it went I didn't know that story I've never heard that story in 30 years it's a beautiful story yeah so and I just I love to play so as we grew up all the cousins we would always play right as soon as the as soon as the parents went to bed then the kids would come out and we would play and um and then I kickstarted it again because you know as we all get older the cousins don't hang out as much anymore because we're not kids and we all have our own lives. So when my kids um started to get into games I introduced it to them a little bit right and uh and then COVID hit. So what the hell are we gonna do all day? So I really brought it in. I got the table we set it up right in front of the bay window and we played every single day. Now at that time I think Thea was nine and um and picked it up no problem. And that's the thing like and again I learned at four years old. So it's not something that is overwhelming. It's just the concept you're matching files right you can't it it's you know now we can get to the strategy lesson four. Sure we can get into the betting and make a little money and we can be more competitive but we don't have to be so um so that's kind of the story of why mahjong is important to me. It really is about the family aspect. So then let's tie into the whole oh now I hear Julia Roberts talking about it on Letterman I you know I start seeing it all popping up in my feed and and again it's all American mahjong because there are differentials. There's actually multiple different ones um of of all different ways that you can play but American and the traditional or Hong Kong version are the most are the two most popular and then you've got the movies like Joy Lut Club that you know highlights it a little bit you've got crazy rich Asians that went nuts to the we'll call it the white population. My bad we can somebody tell me how to say that better. No good okay um that was all like what is that game right and um and then I think that's also what kind of kickstarted the whole let's get it on Instagram and so forth. So I saw that but I was like yeah but I want to teach the real one to me. And when I say real it's because that's what I grew up with. And I was actually talking to somebody Tanya it might have been you actually last night where I was like I don't even know if these are the real rules.

SPEAKER_04:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

It's just how I learned because um Amory had sent out a video ahead of time and I'm like I don't know if that's you know like I might be teaching you something completely different because I'm really teaching you what I learned. And no one really had you know no one brought out a book and taught me I just learned from you know watching so so yeah so I want that next step opportunity to bring a little bit more tradition to it. Yes. Um it's not you know I'm not a it's not an appropriation thing. I'm not offended by anything a game is a game is a game. It doesn't matter but if I want to teach it I want to teach the traditional version because that's my heritage. That's it plain and simple. So some people will love that some people like no I want to learn the other one. Like I went on a cruise we could talk about that another time but and um they had mahjong set up everywhere. So I was like oh my god I'm so excited so I go in but it was all American version. So all the women that were there I was like would you like to learn you know the traditional way and it was the traditional tiles too so they had to adjust a little bit because they're like and um they were like no thanks and I totally yeah and I was like okay and they're like would you like to learn the American and I'm like no thanks. Yeah you know and again it's you know each to their own. So yes jumping on that band bandwagon like Amory had said is that I want to bring this version to life.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah good for you. You know I love that story. It's beautiful and I do you know I there was something special about last night for me I think you know you're often just I mean I think you just have to genuinely be curious about other people's culture and and um stories and and that is something I've always you know been fascinated with um and I'm I'm better at learning directly from a human versus reading about it. So I love I did feel a special bond like I did love knowing that we were a you were teaching it and that your story and history came to life and I loved that idea of of learning something that did feel traditional in the in the room and I I think that's a special element to it for sure. It felt you know I knew I was doing it also because it's the thing and it's on Instagram but it did feel a little bit like authentic a little bit authentic that's the right word Anita good word. It definitely did so I I love that um and I do think that that um is important for people now like I think people who are a growth mindset and with everything that's going on in the world um those people who are like no no like I'm not interested is it's strange to me I agree like why wouldn't you want to learn more? I feel like we're just very much in in that and I think age and stage Amory you said it earlier like I just think women of this age you know and when we say is 45 55 whatever midlife um are very insightful like not everyone but a a lot of women are realizing that life we need to go deeper right and and and it's there's no shame in maybe your existing life doesn't feel that way right now because it's been surrounded by kind of the functionality of what society and what you had to do your kids etc but now they're yearning and searching for kind of to your point a deeper connection through community. So I'm excited to see where your business goes well me too. I mean I think there's you're onto something you're onto something um okay so let's talk about last night because that's so funny there's I have so many thoughts and insights about it.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh my god I have a one manjong question before we talk about either one about the actual game so okay so there's like the lines oh she's gonna go into the circles the bamboos yes the bamboo but people calling it lines or sticks yeah and those that's really like pattern matching right as you're matching up you're like that's the five that's the five obviously those are the same so here's my this is a three. Here is my question that I learned I in my head so those are Chinese characters so that's I'm assuming the Chinese character for number three. Yes right so but then I should have grabbed a five because it doesn't look like this it's like the house or or something right it looks like a messy messy drawing. So but that's what's interesting is like is that our brains if you're not used to the Chinese characters like that in itself and then it's funny how your brain you're like yeah I understand that circle this is like the almost feels like the anglicized version. This is hard to learn that one is a bad one because it's three it's easy it's quite intuitive. I just grabbed one but the of many of them were you have to look and you're like trying to organize it in your head and it's and it's that that was probably one of the hardest parts the the the gathering of the matching up to make triples and and a run not as hard but that's a cool part too like hey learning Chinese that's awesome. That's what I that's what I mean and that's the part that I was like so in American mahjong there's what is what are these tiles?

SPEAKER_00:

It's the same thing. They're just called characters.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh so you still have to they're the same there's still this exact same how they play it is slightly different.

SPEAKER_00:

It's just how they play so instead of you know how we talked about flowers yeah they have jokers. Oh that's what the jokers are yeah so and again the whole learn the whole lesson is very very different. Yeah so they call the and the terms they call different so they actually call the bamboo sticks they call the circles bams um and so it's it it's just a a play on words.

SPEAKER_01:

This was good we had like yes I forgot mine.

SPEAKER_00:

So can you keep one Amory yeah I kept some to be yeah and to give you a little bit of of grace there Amory the characters or the numbers are the absolute hardest to be honest with you in my head when I see one I don't see the number I see I I see like number six is the man. Number five is the airplane number eight you know is the roof right like I don't see eight I see roof right and so I give you full you know kudos that it it it's just a memorization thing at that point because you really can't physically count them. And then the same thing even with the circles and the lines it's so hilarious because people will sit there and count them. I am I had a hard yeah but then continue to play yeah number eight is just two upside down M's or W's yes and you're just gonna know that's eight right or the we joke I don't know a lot of people at my table were talking about um the middle finger yeah oh my god I laughed at that number seven is somebody giving you the that was the only one I learned immediately there's like it's the fu finger exactly and that's good enough right because that's again that's the fun part of the game and it's just matching top it's like matching and sort of like memory like I was like what kind of childhood game you're trying to remember what already went out and what's underneath and yeah and there's like winds right everyone's talking about well which wind is it it doesn't matter. No it doesn't matter which wind doesn't match right and that's all you care about.

SPEAKER_01:

I also like why people need to bring the glasses because they were like I'm like that doesn't they can't see they can't they can't see yeah because we're that age readers are needed the amount of people who were like thank you so much for reminding me to bring my readers totally okay well you should travel with them if you can't actually see but just in case I'm surprised how many um so I also love the when you win something like you yell Pong or sick you and then I was laughing at some people like they're just Pong.

SPEAKER_03:

Like they don't I'm like yell it because the fun part of you don't know you think it is yeah and um there's certain things that are counterintuitive like you have to again if you have played games and so this was one of my insights because one of my favorite things and Amory will will I think agree with this because it's part of kind of our job and um the roles that we each play I'm always fascinated watching people and figuring out the type of person they are in their regular life based on how prepared they came and what they do in that game. I could our group had like way different people like and immediately I had an appreciation for I'm like oh and I so I'm just making fun of people in a really good hearted way. Yeah but um and I can't I'm gonna be terrible with names but on my right Mel Mel okay Mel yeah so she she was like oh yeah no I'm so nervous well she came flipping prepared she was teaching us and I'm like have you played this before and she goes no I go but you're a prepared so she would never walk into a room not prepared she was taking notes she was brilliant I loved at the end of the day yeah so this is all like with full appreciation and then you had each of the individuals the more intuitive which was myself and then across to me and just and then to my left she's a gamer a hundred percent trish um because she just she her comprehension in and I see this in my kids like so it's a it's just a no she immediately you would say one thing and then she took it three steps she's and I'm like how'd you know that she goes because naturally this would be this this this and I'm like so I'm already like okay if I had to put a team together this our team was amazing because we all brought like different strengths to the table which is why we didn't want to disband because we were like which is also why I put you guys in different like I've actually put a lot of thought to those tables.

SPEAKER_01:

I know you did. Because I was like absolutely I was like I need somebody in the group that's gonna guide some other people I need somebody like I was like I was there based on your experience but also who I think is going to catch it and then can help the other people at the table.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. So I think that's the insight for women who are listening is like it really just brings to life like the strength that you you bring like you just really get to know people psychologically through the way in which they approach things like that. Like it's just for me that was fascinating.

SPEAKER_01:

I was like wow I kind of know you already just based on how you're working through so if you were to bring that group together again I would then put problem solves you know I would say like if you put 20 people again you'd be like if you had like level one two three four you're like okay some of these should be here ready to go to the next level and teach. Yeah or go faster. They can go faster. Yes they can go faster some people you know you had one set that had numbers written on them like the I was like oh that's a great cheater set like but some people are gonna want that number set and that's all they're gonna that's fine. Yeah but also it doesn't matter zero judgment like you want to just go as slow as you want perfect. That's only annoying if someone wants to go fast but they need to go to the other table.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah and that's what I was going to say it's funny yeah as you start to create these little you know groups and if you end up doing something once a month or whatever you will find that you will have ones that will sit down and be like okay you need to go to the other table because you're talking too much and I want to play or you'll have the other people being like okay you're too competitive you need to go over there.

SPEAKER_03:

Can we just talk about heated like it's like I want you know what I mean I know that I was listening on the side um while still playing so yeah so it is it is yeah you missed that whole conversation there was like I'd say two tables stuck around yeah so another hour maybe yeah yeah on what oh who are playing still there was yeah there was like another like people like we kind of said seven minutes for a little bit for a while I love that because people like a time slot especially on a weeknight like I would have done it my eyeballs were flipping killing me that was not um but I would say that's why I'm coming on Friday because I'm like because I agree the appreciation it's kind of like Euchre right not like euchre but I mean in the need to play you can't just like play it once and then you're like okay I've got it you have to keep playing it because you have to like as you said Emory cement it in your brain so um I don't want to lose that momentum for sure.

SPEAKER_01:

And it comes back like it did a lot of it did come back but I haven't played it in a year. Yeah how was that for you Amory that's a good point I I it once we played I was like I got it back. But there were little nuances like I forgot little things like who if you could only take it from your left like and I forgot the terms like this was a good really good thing. This is a really good cheat sheet like I was like oh so I want to complete my run but I can only take it oh from my left I can't yeah yeah so little things like that.

SPEAKER_00:

And I think it was cool too um when I actually had the opportunity to sit at tables um where all I did was talk out loud and so I just used my thought process and I just talked out loud.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm like oh there's a seven do I want that no I don't want to finish that run oh you know da da da and then you could see people being like oh is that that was extremely valuable that was extremely valuable Anita and I know that's so hard for you like if you have like you how many tables are going five tables right but I I was I feel lucky that actually the last one because just you talking I was like oh like just your technique and how you did it I'm like that makes sense so that was super valuable absolutely yeah I love that awesome so that was great great um what other insights tell me more yeah we talked a little bit about I love the nervousness of you know people coming together and and I found that interesting um given we've talked a lot about that uh um on this podcast but one pattern and thanks again to Amory because like I wouldn't do that I'm a I'm a goer I'm like I'll I'll I'll throw things but I'm definitely a goer. I'm always like yes if I'm free I'm going. But we've done a few things now where we've gathered women together with an activity like thanks to Amory and a few that I haven't attended but I have. And I do think that there's something about that. So you know when maybe our kids were younger and we'd get together and we just like eat and drink wine which I love to do like that's my favorite pastime of all but now actually I think my pastime I think because mentally I was so exhausted that the idea of even doing anything other than I just want to connect and I just need this energy exchange. And I think what I'm realizing is there's some beauty in this idea of doing something and still do you're not losing that. But it takes the pressure off the need to walk into a room of people you don't know or don't know well or a new environment when you know you're doing something. Like I have a lot less trust. Yes yes yes and and I've learned that because I'm kind of an outsider of the there's a lot of groups of people but I'm like one of those where you know I'm Amory's business partner and best friend. I can say that yes and we have many best friends and you wait we both hold the title and it's equal and we both have a title you can have multiple best friends and that's we're so close in our life so people kind of know me as like of me but I don't hang out with those people like on a regular basis or have things in common like children they know other than children. So I'm just saying this obviously for the f the people who are going to listen is that this is the ticket. This is the ticket the courage to help you say is an activity which Amory's like duh but like most people don't get that. Like they do not get that. So I thought that that I'm now learning that that so how do you create that in the environment? So obviously and and I think it's I mean we should know this because again tradition Anita when you're saying your grandmother your mother like you know as women we have lost the you know that community with the internet and the way in which we work but but before us this is how women connected this is traditionally how women came together um and I think it's it's kind of opening our eyes to like we need to reclaim that in whatever format. I think that was my aha I'm like we need and and sure you can sit and drink one but that is we're so people I'm bored with that. I gotta say I'm bored I am and and I mean shit I love it. Like don't get me it's not like I'm not gonna do that. It's okay girlfriends who I do that with like it's not that I'm not but I think it's like made fun of we are you know women are still trying to kind of raise our you know value. And this just makes me kind of proud in a sense that it if I looked at ancestry like not yours necessarily but women before us to say you go ladies like we this is what we did this is where it is it's the the value in coming together and connecting on this level and I believe only women oh that's what I want to ask you Anita very early on you said women and men we'll talk about that later but this is very female oriented yes yes absolutely and again what do I know?

SPEAKER_00:

No no it's men separately like without significant others or what have you it's always sport usually sport driven. Yeah and uh they their conversations are always about sport I feel that men don't talk about emotion they don't talk about what's going on in their lives um because the the choices that they make in how they spend time together doesn't allow for that right no like unless it's poker but then again poker is about the competitiveness of actually each other like they might do an activity but maybe it's yeah but they're not going for a movie but we can are so we're gonna bring back the great Jane Fonda right now because I love what you're saying and I've mentioned this before and Anne Maria is like I don't know and I'm like yes Jane Fonda who like you can't argue with her she says women friendships are unique.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh yes right you've probably seen this I thought of it yes men talk like watch things like they're watching sports they're sitting side by side watching something whereas women look at each other so even the activity of mahjong and you can say poker sure there's we're saying in if we use the 8020 rule yes 20 they do the same but if we say 80% the truth is women connect face to face. That's what you're saying. 100% so it it is it allows for kind of that I agree I think men and women are different.

SPEAKER_00:

That's the thing and that's okay and that's yes we kind of want them to do that. But but that's the the eye contact or the the closeness that one feels you feel safe right you do and obviously you choose people that you somewhat feel safe with already yeah but then you have that extra little element of you know like I don't know you just feel calm in their presence and and then conversations flow in ways that you didn't expect them to and and you walk away just feeling better. Where men don't know whatever men just I feel don't know how to do that just because of the general Generational aspects of how they were raised or so forth. Um, but I also think, you know, we talked about generational, and um, I hundred percent believe that women that are in their 80s, like we'll use an example of like Italians, right? Yep, Italian nonas are laughing, laughing at us, being like, get in a fucking kitchen and make some tomato sauce, you dummy. Right? And and we're all like running around trying to be like super women, and they're just like, no, get into a kitchen with your with a group, with a group, and and chat. It's so and then you know, you're sitting there chopping your tomatoes, but you're engaging with one another. So activity, yes, community, yes, yes, um, you know, um, creating food for your family, so you're still supporting and you're still you know creating. Um, but they're laughing at us.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, it's all and we're and it's you know, we're coming to that realization. I think it's just a generational, you know, thing, and we'll do the same. We'll be laughing at like we already do at the younger generation.

SPEAKER_01:

We're like, just you wait, just you wait, you know, just get off your phones, just get off your phones and get together. But it's so good, that's an interesting thing. So we don't, we're not cooking together, but we're trying to get together. And this is a good any game is a good one, but this is especially, I feel it's new, so no one can dismiss it. Not new, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, I think I and I and I think that's the thing. People are still excited to say that they know it, right? Because everyone's talking about it, and now you hear someone talking, oh, did you see that? And they'll just be like, Yeah, I know how to play. I know there's a pride in it, actually. Yeah, there, good word. There's a pride in it. And then when people get reaction to showing pride, then hopefully they'll be like, Well, would you like to learn? And then boom, boom, and then my whole entire goal of this whole entire thing is continue building the communities and use mahjong as the baseline.

SPEAKER_02:

So you offer this throughout the like how far do you travel? From the GTA.

SPEAKER_00:

You know what's so funny? So I was it Mel? Is that the one that um learned that came by us all by herself? The notes, yes.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

So she's like, yeah. So she's like, I'm so excited to go home and um, you know, flex this a little bit because she's married to somebody that knows how to play mahjong. Oh, okay. And uh, and then I'm like, okay, well, I'll like if you need help, I will come. Like, this is exciting. And she's like, I'm in Hamilton. I'm like, I don't care.

SPEAKER_04:

Okay, love it.

SPEAKER_00:

Because it's the idea of it. So yes, is your travel, whatever? Sure. Um, but yeah, so I've gone as, you know, I guess as far as Burlington, as far north as New Market. New market. Um I am planning to go out to Whitby. I've got a girlfriend out there that is ready to jump on the bandwagon. And then really in my community, like my next step as I continue to kind of build this, is I want to actually have a slot, time slot every day at 11. And I want to start building this into community centers or into places where, and again, it's I think they just and again, it's not a it's not about the money, but it's about the concept and the idea that I am providing a service to people that need one, right? And yeah, what do you think about the size, Anita?

SPEAKER_01:

Because I know originally, and I said this last night, like I I got a bunch of people. I said, okay, we got we got February 3rd, and I've got 20 people. And you said, Oh, hang on, hang on, wait a second. I think four, maybe eight is the maximum. And I essentially Yeah, so they're already committed, so we're gonna left turn this and we're gonna figure out how to do this. And if I had not known you forever, I would have said, Oh shit, I gotta change this and make it down to eight. But in my ex my as attending, I thought it went really, really well. Like, I think you could do large groups. So would you do a large group like that again?

SPEAKER_00:

No, and I'll tell you why. Um, and Tanya might agree with this. The benefit that she got at the end was me there. Yes, and I couldn't give that to everybody throughout that time. So there will be people that left that didn't get that one-on-one attention that was like, that was a fun night. Yeah, but I don't know if I like mahjong versus the ones that sat with me that were like, oh, and the light bulbs and the aha moments kind of click on the biggest.

SPEAKER_01:

But then we charged half your usual rate, so maybe that's fair.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, yeah, no, no, that that maybe that works out.

SPEAKER_01:

So we had to help each other versus being tutored by you. So maybe that's actually the difference. So it's a higher rate when you get the one-on-one, the one-on-one, but we didn't have yeah, I'm not saying I wouldn't do it again.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I'm not saying I wouldn't do it again. Like if somebody says, hey, I'm doing, you know, uh whatever, and there's gonna be 20, I now know that what process to use. Have the cheat sheets, have the you know, whatever. Um, but I don't think you needed the things on the wall. No, I think that actually confused. I think this.

SPEAKER_03:

You know what though? There were a few. So here's okay, so I'm gonna layer on my this is as if we were just running a left-turn session. So, you know, if you think of like your business model. Yes. So yeah, your package. I need to write this down. Your package one is definitely you and Nita. I would say that for me, super valuable. But I also think that we are um we could be underestimating the brilliance of women in general. Like women within the group, even before, I only knew that, but I would have still walked away having learned and known. And what I thought was amazing, but not surprised, but kind of surprised, is how quickly our table, and I'm sure others picked it up just by you walking through it because we're smart people. Like, and and if if you're lucky enough, like I think sometimes like anything, Anita, there's gonna be like that was a bust for the dynamic and for whatever things you can't control. Yeah. But if package two, to your point, is a larger group, you know, it's the way in which you you managed it in that we're just gonna get you this far, which then kind of allows you to sell on multiple kind of times. But I do think that women, we picked it up like and if you have a Trish and you have a Melanie, if you're lucky enough to have those two people, I was like, Oh, they were just going. They were just going. Um, like even the thing where the Sur like had to be above, which I I click clicked in when I was playing with you, that that means that's not in your hand, that's above. Melanie was already doing that. I'm like, what are you doing over there? Like, why is your thing? She's like, Oh, because blah, blah, blah. So I don't know. I I feel like I feel like lots of opportunity. But I agree for you, you have to do what you love. And your love is also teaching and connecting and having that one-on-one. So that's obviously what you're gonna do primarily, and that's good for everyone to know. So you have a group of four people, you know. Um come like I'm I'm gonna organize one. I'm I've already decided. Bring four friends together and it have you come over and uh set it up and play, and you're there to do that. I think that's brilliant, and I think that rate. So here's the other thing about money. There was no question, one uh one Iota that I was gonna, I mean, I'll go to yoga for a stop in and I flip and pay. And I already know how to do yoga, kind of. Yes, but I could do that in the basement. Um, now, not to all the you yogis out there. There is value in what you bring. Like, I'm not saying that, but I'm saying, you know, and and this is my business. I'm the one at left turn who's always saying, like, it's okay to ask for money, ladies. Like, we're allowed to get paid for the value we bring in the time, and people will pay for it. People understand. Like, there's travel price.

SPEAKER_01:

What is the price? So we chair, so it's 20, it was 25 or 20.

SPEAKER_03:

25 for the young. So 50, I think, for a smaller group, 100% is reasonable. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. For the large group, we did 25. Yeah, and if it's travel, if it's outside of the GTA, then I add the extra. So I would. It's 250 if it was, you know, so you know, I I did a group of four outside of the city. Outside of the city, and it was 250. But the ones here, 200.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Like if you think of the painting parties and the thing, people are like, so women, I think you see the value in needing to pay for someone's time and the experience. And I have no, and you did, I don't think anyone balked at that. They were like, Yeah, absolutely. Here you go. Everyone's like, paid, paid, paid. I was like, okay, I paid two Anita, so you know, I just didn't put it in the group chat that I made. But um, I just think that that is totally reasonable and and and a, we should support other women doing these things, number one. So I'm always first, and secondly, we should always be asking for the value that we bring. Yeah, we shouldn't be ashamed of that. Not that you were, but you know what I'm trying to say. Collected.

SPEAKER_01:

And I think that second package is like a birthday party we kind of had. Like that's in my head. And also, if you have a large group, I I did a lot of the planning for you, but not everybody would do that. That's true. You you not everybody would like well, it's interesting.

SPEAKER_00:

So I agree, Arizona, you went above and beyond a hundred percent. But um, what I'm trying to do, and you you nailed it on the head, I'm replacing instead of your book club every month, one time, we're gonna break from the book club and we're gonna drop in a mahjong lesson. Love that. So the the concept of the host of that of that month still does those types of things. Now, they may not show up with the beautiful earrings and the mats and the gift bags, but they do still put on a show. So it I almost used it as an example of like, remember back in the day, pampered chef? Do they still even do that? Oh, I loved a good pampered chef, right? But you would show up knowing you're you're gonna buy something stuff, but the host is hosting you. Yes, you've got drinks, you've got food, you've got whatever. So it's almost like um there's an expectation that you know that you're gonna have something. So now my fee doesn't cover Amberie's food. I didn't then you know hand her because that's her choice. Yeah. Um, but every one that I have done, whether it's the training aspect or just the reoccurrence, like just showing up, um, always food, always like a full experience. So because you would do that bringing people together anyway.

SPEAKER_03:

So I think that's where the and I'm just conscious of time. So I think as a kind of a wrap-up of the podcast, it's like we're doing that anyway. Like women are coming together. There's the the goers and the there's the throwers who are gonna do that anyway, and they're going to serve food. So the value in bringing now an activity to that equation, you know, not every time, but those special occasions that it makes sense, I think is brilliant. So, where do we find you? This is what people say on podcasts. So, where do we find you on Instagram? And I guess it'll appear in the notes.

SPEAKER_01:

You say at Mahjong Nights.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

I saw which has no photos on the will.

SPEAKER_00:

As part of my package C with left turn, is we're gonna create these packages together. And we're going to, you know, and maybe yeah, so we're gonna work on that. It was um, yes, I appreciate that it needs to be more of a like I now need to focus on building the business, not just building the communities. And uh, I will leave. At whatever pace, I genuinely don't think you need to.

SPEAKER_03:

I think I don't think so. Just keep doing what you're doing. Organic building is the key for sure. And listen, we are firm believers in like building the plane as it's taking off. Like, you don't need to be super like I for people listening who will listen, it's there's forgiveness, and you're just we know that you can do this. What's on your Instagram is not gonna make or break. It's the referral of yes, we're we've experienced the experience. She can do 20, so she's sure. I'm excited to see what the experience is with four. I got a little bit of that. Um, and people should just give it a go. If you're thinking about what you want to do at your next gathering that you're gonna have anyway, this is it. This is it. I'm I'm already excited about it. Yeah, Anita, it was so awesome. I loved A meeting you. Hopefully, this isn't the last time.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely not. I think we're gonna have other podcasts conversations.

SPEAKER_03:

I think so, and then just get together and play Mahjong and hang out.

SPEAKER_01:

I was thinking as well. Yeah, you have a lot in common. You have I know honestly, I will just sit there and watch the two of you bat it back between because I know both sides of the story.

SPEAKER_00:

Sorry, I know for sure. We'll take it, we'll take it. Yeah, thank you for inviting me on though. This is uh this is a first experience for me, never done something like this. You just talk, super easy. I love it. I love it. And I love what you guys do. It's hilarious. Yes, and as Anne Marie is correct, I watch you and I'm like, you when I watch some of your podcasts or listen to them actually, um, right before Tanya, you speak, I think, and then you say what I am thinking. Oh, well, that's a and I called Anne Marie once and I'm like, what the?

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, I know who is this person. I think the other frame was, oh, she rounds you up. Well, and that's okay. So she figures out how to like I got it. Then we bring it back.

SPEAKER_03:

But I think that's why we run the business as we do, because I always say we're two sides of like a really shiny coin. Like, yeah, her lane and my lane are entirely different, but there's this intersect that you can't, I can't even explain.

SPEAKER_00:

It's just we finish each other's sentences, like and that's why I yeah, and that's why, Amory, just to give you a little bit of a toot toot, is that um you're a very special person and people need you um for multiple reasons, but just to balance us off because you bring us um where it's not a yin and a yang thing, it's definitely not that. Um, but there's just something very valuable.

SPEAKER_03:

I agree. Oh yeah. Oh, we love you. This is fun. Well, it's okay.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm gonna day off with a nice feeling. I know deserved. I'm gonna be that was that felt like a sick woo.

SPEAKER_00:

Nothing we're gonna get that right. I gotta, I gotta write it more phonetically. I'm before we put it that way.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm just going to round out so we can close this part off. Yes. Let's go. That's okay. So let's just say so. What is it? Just say what the word is.

SPEAKER_00:

Sick woo. Sick woo.

SPEAKER_03:

Sick woo. Yep. Thanks, everybody. Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay. Love to stop recording.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay.